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I was diagnosed around this time last year with ptsd. I didn’t tell anyone in my family because I felt like I was better off keeping it to myself. I told my dad about 2 months after I was diagnosed and instantly regretted it. He didn’t seem to understand (and still doesn’t). I feel like he thinks I’m just being over-dramatic about it, but I know it really messed me up mentally and I still have frequent nightmares because of it. My doctor wants me to see a therapist (for this and other reasons) but I have a really hard time opening up to people and telling them how I feel without being judged or feeling uncomfortable. Any tips/ advice? I want to try therapy but I’m just super nervous to talk about it because I don’t want to relive it all over again out loud
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ptsd
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I work from home.
At the time when I started working, it was alright because I was really interested. That finished like a year ago.
Since then I've been suffering to have a day in which I work as much as I should. I have days when I work 1-2 hours, some days when I don't work at all. Very rarely, some when I work enough.
My job is very flexible and I tried using the help of my manager to follow up with me but that only caused me anxiety and I couldn't continue.
I tried a different working environment. Result: Other places just have too many stimuli (noise etc.) and the house is the opposite of that - too silent and I am alone the whole day.
I also tried to understand my relationship with my job. And it's not the best one. I don't feel competent and even excited, also there are so many things that I don't enjoy about my job. BUT: I think there are ways to turn that around and I don't want to quit before I try to do that.
​
So I need to keep the job for which I don't have motivation - while at the same time trying to build that same motivation.
​
Idk what can help me here? What mindset...?
​
P.S I am able to do everything it takes if I am really sure that I want something..
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ADHD
|
I just want to start off by saying that I'm not antivax. I get my flu shot every year and I don't have any issues with that other than my fear of needles. I just think I have a lack of trust in the medical field. I've always felt like a lot of doctors ignored my symptoms and acted like I'm making certain things up. It took about 3 years to get my PCOS diagnosis and I was having a really hard time around that point in my life so I don't know who I can trust. I think I wanna get the vaccine. I'm just afraid that it'll cause problems later. If someone has any advice, that would be greatly appreciated.
Update: I'm going to talk to my doctor about any possible concerns I have about the vaccine. Thanks everyone for helping me feel a bit more comfortable with getting it!
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aspergers
|
I found a file in my computer that said 'ADHD thoughts.txt'. I opened the file in the hopes of finding something useful. All there was:
>ADHD
>
>\-
That's it. So dissapointing, yet so funny and accurate. Thank you, past me. I'd add 'funny' flair but I guess let's celebrate. I found it while searching for another document. I haven't found it yet.
What funny has happened to you lately due to adhd?
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ADHD
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Had self issues , still haven’t get over most of them . I decided to end up my relationship because of feeling guilty of not having good time in it, despite the relationship was pretty ok. I thought that will be better get full of distance each other and don’t meet again. That wasn’t meen that we were not in love . I experience amount of obsessive thoughts till then, can’t move on or get over my relationship and I was afraid and still am of love someone , so as a result I ended up my relationship because I saw in my mind all the future consequences of love this person or any person , so because I get threatened by it . Being an OCD patient for years as a doubter and overthinking issues I believe that made me act.
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OCD
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It’s probably been my most frequent intrusive and obsessive thought, next to suicide, since she broke up with me a whole year and half ago.
It hurts so much and I’m desperate. It haunts me almost every minute of every day. And my medication and therapy just can’t fix it.
I need help because I literally can’t live like this. Please give me something I can use because I can’t do this. I feel crazy and it makes me worry that I look like a lunatic ex boyfriend for being hung up on his ex.
Please help me.
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OCD
|
Hello, I'm a fifteen-year-old girl with severe sensory issues when it comes to noise, smells, and clothes, and recently learned that ADHD could be tied to it.
I am always very uncomfortable wearing long shirts (that aren't hoodies), pants, shoes, and socks. Normally, before I go to school, I sometimes have a breakdown and just sit on the floor and cry because of what I need to wear. And whenever I complain about them to my mother, she just nods along or rolls her eyes or dismisses it, and it really frustrates me.
So I was wondering if anybody could *please* suggest any brands or anything that could possibly help be more comfortable with me. I tried looking it up on my own, however, I didn't really get much information and brands that would be comfortable. What I did find was also only for little kids.
​
I'm also looking for fidgets and things that could help with my ADHD in general. My parents haven't really made a thing of it, and haven't gotten me anything that could help.
​
If anyone has any suggestions, please comment them. Thank you.
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ADHD
|
So I’m sure people have made posts like this on here before but I’m genuinely taken aback by this! So I’ve (18F) struggled with anxiety/depression since I was 12. I’ve been taking antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, name literally any anxiety med and I’ve probably tried it and nothing has really helped. Well recently my psychiatrist asked me to take an assessment for adhd and I didn’t fully take her seriously at first because I have friends with adhd and I’ve always felt like I’m the exact opposite from them. I complete her questionnaire— she prescribed me a fairly low dose of adderall. I’m a college student, so obviously I know what adderall is. my first thought was “periooood I’m about to whizz through alll my assignments I’m gonna be soo productive😜” And then I take it , wait an hour or two and i was like “….Wait. Why do I feel… normal? Why are all my racing thoughts gone? Adderall is supposed to make you feel hype right?? Why am I completely CALM and feel Good?!???” I wasn’t all that productive or jittery as I thought I would be but it definitely feels like I’ve stepped into a new light and learning more about myself, without the constant racing negative thoughts and moods that come along with them, which I’m so grateful for :)!
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ADHD
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33M. OCD, anxiety, recurring major depression.
This year is so far the worst year of my life. I lost my grandmother this spring, was broken up with the next month, and had to move home to live with parents, who I still live with.
Since I was a kid I was always anxious, but rarely depressed. I'd be scared of getting kidnapped, killed/shot, getting a disease, etc. My hypochondriasis extended to adulthood. I'd always be afraid of either getting a terrible rare disease, or being tortured or killed by somebody.
My mind is fucked up, and comes up with the most evil scenarios that I could find myself in. Being tortured, burned alive, eyes removed, whatever. It also doesn't help that I used to have a morbid curiosity, and would watch gore videos and photos online. I now avoid these things, but I think I caused myself serious damage by consuming this content. My brain now has a "library" of terrible imagery that I torment myself with. These images and intrusive thoughts bother me far more when I'm in the middle of a depressive episode. Can anybody else relate?
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depression
|
Empty nester, father died last year, mother in hospice with maybe a week left. Life of severe depression. Medicated since 1992. Working full time, ordering my grown kids christmas gifts, guilt over those in wont get mailed in time,...car got a flat on the way to visit mother, two days later engine light comes on. Rent a car, anniversary date ruined when spouse gets drunk and announces he is no longer attracted to me, and he doesnt believe that I have ever been faithful. Accuses me of saying some guys name during sex. Destriys the house, I get a hotel room...so I can sleep enough to get up and take care of my dying mom. FUCK ME!!!
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depression
|
So i’ve had ocd since 4 months now and a big question i have is, is it possible we can love and maintain a healthy relationship? I’m not the best at expressing myself and i am very intone with my emotions and i feel like if i dont feel a million butterflies its not real love and i always seek validation that its worth it if i feel a bit less and that can hurt my partner cause i feel like i fall in and out of love alot.
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OCD
|
I am a recent college graduate whose curriculum was rather light on math.
As the title suggests, I'm looking to do some independent study of maths, namely through online courses.
My goal atm is to understand the mathematics behind mri image registration.
I studied for an hour today, yet I went through about 10 minutes of material. As I was working on the one problem given, I found myself sratching my head, falling asleep, irritated, and under the urge to look at online answers for the problem. Bad habits from not studying hard in school I presume.
As I start, how can I work to understand the basic concepts that are given? (e.g. I was given definitions of linear spaces and parallel vectors)
When I work through problems and find myself getting irritated, should I force myself to calm down and take a break before trying again? (otherwise I'll keep going at it, getting more frustrated)
Any other practical advice is appreciated.
I will realistically be able to spend up to one hour chunks on this per day.
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aspergers
|
Before I start know I'm not asking for medical support so don't tell me mot to fo this but this is driving me crazy without going into the specifics I take a fair amount of medecines (not all for ADHD) & I'm going crazy because dome days my medicine works & I can finally focus on tasks but somedays it's the opposite & I'm so off kilter I literally can't think of anything. It's really annoying because the times where I need to focus I can't & the times where I need to keep myself occupied I can't either. Worse part is I have no idea why I take my medicine every day & night & some days it works somedays it just is like naw
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ADHD
|
Hi all. As title says, I'm recently dx OCD - sought therapy for what I thought was a phobia (emetophobia) but after working with my therapist for quite a while, she's fairly certain what we're dealing with is OCD manifesting as intrusive thoughts and intense anxiety. And in that context, I can see how a lot of my other "quirks" may actually be OCD thoughts/behaviors as well - especially the compulsive skin picking I haven't been able to shake since my days of self-harm 15+ years ago.
At any rate, I've had previous experience with several SRIs (Prozac, Lexapro, Effexor) and have zero desire to go back on any of them, for various reasons I won't elaborate on. A psych suggested I start taking Viibryd but I'm very hesitant due to the cost and significant GI side effects (see the phobia above). So I've been heavily researching alternative supplements/therapies for OCD and anxiety, to support the behavioral work I'm doing with my therapist. Thankfully, I have a background in medical science and pharmacology, which is helpful when trying to understand the mechanisms of action for these neuromodulators! Based on the studies I've read, I'm quite interested in trying any or all of the following:
* NAC/N-acetylcysteine (I've actually already started this one, but haven't gotten the dosage up to suggested levels yet)
* L-theanine
* Taurine
* Inositol (myo-inositol)
* Possibly glycine
Has anyone had any experience with any of these? How did they work for you?
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OCD
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*need to call in my refill or change in medication today so advice would be greatly appreciated
I was on 36mg Concerta for 9 months and then it became less and less effective. I began getting really tired and almost zombified 5-6 hours after my dose and stayed like that for the rest of the day. It was hard to deal with given my demanding schedule and afternoon classes/night functions. My doctor raised my dosage to 54mg and it is working too well. I feel boxed in a lot and more anxious, my fitbit says that my heart rate is 90 to sometimes 120 when I am just at rest and I feel my heat beat much more prominently. My appetite has diminished a lot (making sure I am eating enough tho) and I just feel wired.
Doctor suggested I could switch to Vyvanse because he said it could be more effective and I could have less side effects. It seems like a good option but it is a big concern of that I will become tolerant to that soon and I will be back at square one of having my dosage raised and feeling very anxious and boxed in.
Should I try to make my current dosage work for as long as possible or do I make the switch? Another option is that I could go back to my last dosage (36mg concerta) and take an instant release methylphenidate in the afternoon but at that point isn't that basically just taking instant release twice a day? What would be different about concerta + instant release compared to 2 instant releases a day?
I've asked my doctor these questions but he has generally been unhelpful. I appreciate his honestly, but it is frustrating that his answers are basically "it depends on the person" and "they all have generally the same effects" and "you won't know until you try it for at least 2 weeks" and "tolerance is something that always happens".
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ADHD
|
I own a small business and employ a handful of awesome folks.
Truth be told, I never wanted to run a company.
I started solo and I couldn't keep up with the demand, so I hired people to avoid the social mess of 'letting people down'.
Things kinda spiralled from there, and now we grow a little bit every year which is great.
The problem is ... as the company grows, the more it clashes badly with my ASD.
I can't do the 'work' anymore (my special interest) because I have to attend meetings, talk to clients and (urgh) focus on sales. It's like perpetual autistic burnout and the responsibility can be terrifying.
I'd love to hear from other aspies who have owned a business.
How did it go for you? How did you cope?
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aspergers
|
To all who read this,
I'm sorry that it happened this way.
Everyday if feel that I just go through life like a robot that is stuck in the middle of a routine. Everyday like became routine, routine,routine and it just never stopped. I never felt happy with myself. I was never satisfied with what people consider as achievements. To me an achievement was just you being surprised that I didn't fuck up again. I became tired of it. Relationships for the most part had always seemed one sided where I was always the one being picked on or talked about. I could never feel normal. The more I had to worry about the more anxiety got. The feeling that I would never be able to get my grades up, graduate, have a stable relationship, and I guess what people call live "life".
Even though it had looked like I had gotten better, the suffering and the pain got worse. Even though I started to feel a little bit happier when I had lost a bit of weight. The body dismorphia had taken a toll on me where all I would feel is that I was in the same place when I was 200 pounds. Using the gym as a coping mechanism. Using the muscle that had built to cover the depression. The more fit I got the more I felt badly about myself. I used the gym as a crutch to cope with the trial of what we call life.
People become obsessed on having of legacy for what they achieved in life and let it live on in their children as a reminder to society what their relatives had accomplished. What they want society to remember them as.
In the end some people end up dying earlier than others.
Anyone that I mention know that you were loved but couldn't have changed the outcome.
Mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, I'm sorry I know that you tried your best.
Ashley, know that I loved you even though you didn't feel the same. I hope that you find someone that you are satisfied with someone who treats you with the utmost respect, trust, and care. Know that I gave my all to you in the short time I knew you. I know you'll achieve great things in life. And I forgive you for what you did to me.
Sául, know that you were like the brother that I was never able to have. Thank you. The one that I knew that I could ask for help and advice when I couldn't go to anyone else. Even though we saved each other in ways no one would ever know about. You were my brother. Unfortunately, I think that my parents liked you a bit more than me. I hope that you finish the program at school. You'll achieve more than what I could ever have done. You'll become one of the best special ops pilots the United States department of defense will ever see. Know that the outcome of this couldn't have been changed. Semper Fi.
Nico, you also helped me in ways I you didn't know about. 2020 was he'll and you helped me through it
Genesis, You were a great friend to me know that you were loved. Know that you impacted me in ways that I didn't know could happen. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable. You'll go on to do great things and know that you deserve way better than Charles. If given the chance I would have taken a bullet for you.
Shipmates, We were brothers and sisters in arms. Fair winds and following seas. Best of luck on your endeavors.
Hopefully, we meet again.
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depression
|
I need to vent, so here comes a full description of my OCD. I'm managing fine right now, I just feel like venting:
All of my OCD compulsions revolve around contamination, real or imaginary:
Other people can contaminate me or items I own. Who the people are that can contaminate me changes a lot, but it's usually someone I dislike. If they touch me, or touch anything I own, that item or body part is now contaminated. If it is myself that has been touched I will feel fine if I wash that area with soap and/or wash my clothes. That relieves the problem.
If they touch an item I own it is more complex. I am not afraid of the fact that they have touched it, I just hate that they have left grease from their fingers on that item or on my body. When I was little I just didn't like people touching me or my stuff, but now I am extremely afraid of someone (that I deem contaminated) touching me or something I own. It makes me feel like I can never use that item again since there is now permanently a part of them on that item. Items, especially my phone, feel like an extension of myself and when someone contaminated touches my phone it feels like they are invading my space.
An item can also be contaminated in other ways:
\- It was in the vicinity when something unpleasant happened
\- It was bought or acquired the same day something unpleasant happened (for example: I were to buy a shirt the same day someone died). Everything associated with that day is now contaminated. This type of contamination is impossible to get rid of, since it is not physical but mental. I either have to force myself to ignore it, or throw away the item.
I have gotten better though the years at managing this, right now I feel much better than I did 4 years ago. But what motivated me to write this was a relapse today, which was very scary. I have actually gotten extremely far, I no longer fear 90% of the things I did when I was younger. But the relapse today was still scary, since I realized that OCD still has a grip around me.
When I follow the anxious thoughts and do everything they tell me to do, it feels so good! For a while, at least. Then they move on to something else for me to worry about. OCD is so strange. When I think about what I am afraid of, it feels ridiculous, even to myself!! But I still can't control how I react to all that stuff.
I won't be reading the comments, since I feel anxious about other people reading something I wrote. Thanks for reading. <3
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OCD
|
hi. so recently i had a sexual encounter a few weeks ago. we were both bottoms no sexual penetration occured. we had our own dildos we never shared! just a few fingerplay and oil play. we masturbated and no fluids were exchanged. after the encounter a few days later i started being so anxious about physical health and started being sooooo alert on whatever pops up on my body or whatever i feel on my body i start symptom hunting up until my anxiety would peak so high up i would think im done if i had caught HIV. alot of my friends are thinking that i never had any risks from my encounter but obviously its better be safe than sorry so 2 weeks later i couldnt take it anymore, i had gotten myself tested and it came out negative and will have another test in 3 months.
I have been dealing with chronic stress and severe anxiety to a point my body would manifest unwanted symptoms that would lead me to think that ive contracted the virus and i would also anticipate symptoms! im going crazy here.
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OCD
|
I can't stand my intrusive thoughts anymore. I can't take this shit anymore. What can I do to calm down or get better quickly? Besides taking pills, as I'm already on a Zoloft treatment. Btw I was diagnosed with OCD.
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OCD
|
I’m graduating college! And for me that means moving to a different state, but it also means finding a new primary care physician. I have only ever had two doctors my pediatrician and then then my current family medicine physician. I’m currently medicated for my ADHD 40mg of vyvanse. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in 3rd grade I think and have been medicated since then (minus a few years in elementary school Bc the meds made me feel like a robot). My current PCP is amazing. My insurance is weird and doesn’t cover 30day rx, only 90day for some reason idk.
Currently have a job lined up as a nurse and am planning to take a few classes for grad school. I know I will lose my job if I go to work and I know I will fail out if I am unmedicated.
I am petrified of trying to find a new PCP in a different state and am worried I will be viewed as a drug seeker. How should I go about this process?
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ADHD
|
Math is my favorite subject, I enjoy it the most and it used to be the subject I’m the best at.
Now I’m in high school and it’s very different, although I still enjoy the material itself and I can solve questions better than the average student I still fail the tests.
Last exam was presented by the teachers as “planned for 90 minutes” but they decided to give everyone the bonus time so everyone got 2 hours. I’m diagnosed with ADHD since age 6/7 and I have extra time accommodation by law. But in this exam I got 2 hours like everyone else because it was extra time compared to the 90 minutes the test was planned for. About 80% of students used the extra time they got and needed it in order to finish the test, and I managed to finish only 2/3 of the test in the time I was given and got 60/100 points.
Now I have to fight in order for them to let me retake this test with the time I deserve by law, for now it seems like it won’t happen and I’m devastated.
But also I know that it doesn’t matter and I’ll always fail, these tests check my ability to memorize geometry laws and stuff, and I can’t memorize anything bc my brain is literally broken. I don’t see why keep trying if I’ll fail anyways.
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ADHD
|
This may upset a lot of people. I am in my 40s. I have had depression most of my life. I don't get excited over anything. I have trouble making it through weeks.
I bought a $300k sports car. No joy. I spent a week at a resort. Penthouse ate anything I wanted did anything I wanted. No joy. I no longer work. No joy. People like me. No joy. I have a good family. No joy.
People would envy my life. But I can't even find anything I want to do. Or someone I want to be with.
I know I should be grateful and excited for life. I think that makes it harder. 99 percent of the world would want what I have. If I did not make the money I did. I would be living on the street. Homeless and mentally ill. I may still end up there.
I have taken so many different medicines. I have talked to so many people. I have exercised. I have written in journals. I have practiced gratitude. I have been positive. I have been around friends. I have gotten out and done things. I have volunteered. I have....... so many things
I am tired. I am drained. I am ready......
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depression
|
I was diagnosed with PTSD back in May and this is the closest I have been open about it. I have no way to deal with it since my Therapy ended 2 weeks ago. I'm scared even typing about it right now but I needed to get it out.
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ptsd
|
I don't want to be alive but i'm never gonna kill myself. I hate myself and i feel bad for the people around me. I don't want to be pitied i just want to talk. When i go to sleep i sometimes wish i don't wake up. not always, but sometimes. I'm over life, i just don't get it and i don't see the point. I'm aware there are people who care about me but i don't care. I'm a failure. I fail and i fail and recently i've stopped worrying about it. Or maybe I like to act like i don't care because it makes me feel better. I fucking hate being told that i'm hard on myself, or that i need to try to be happier.
Frankly i have it all in life, but i don't care. Im so far behind and ill never be able to keep up. I'm in love, and she makes me so happy, but i'm still always sad. I can't explain it. I have friends, but i feel alone. I enjoy some things i really do, but i want life to stop. I don't like it anymore and i'm tired of trying to work through my feelings. What scares me the most is that i'll probably end up living a full life, with love, peace, and happiness, and then die with my last thought being that i could take it or leave it. I regret being alive, i regret the things i've done, i regret tricking people into thinking i'm normal.
I don't enjoy being on this planet but theres nowhere to go. I'll keep waking up, going to school, making an attempt, but i don't care about any of it anymore. I'm tired but sleep won't fix it. My english teacher tells me i'm a good writer and then fails all my essays, pick a lane bitch. My parents say if i just i apply myself i could exceed at anything i do, but it isn't true, i think parents just say shit sometimes. My life is so fucking easy and yet i don't want it anymore. I'm struggling to care about things. I'm sad when i'm happy and it doesn't make any sense. I give up.
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depression
|
Hi everyone, so recently I’ve felt like my Ritalin has been a bit weaker than usual. Sometimes the effects can normally vary slightly between days and at first I thought this was one of those instances. But since it’s been a solid week or so with it not being as effective as usual, I’m starting to think that maybe the cold temperatures have something to do with it
I’ve read that it should be stored above 15°c (59 Fahrenheit) and lately our temperatures have been a high of around that (some days higher by about 3°c / 5°f, and some days lower by that same amount) and lows of usually 7°c (45°f). So most of the time it’s below that “optimal” temperature
Is it possible that the cold is affecting the potency of my Ritalin? And if so, are there good places to store it where it won’t be affected as much by the cold?
Thanks very much, all help appreciated!
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ADHD
|
Not sure if this really belongs here but wanted to share a quick version of my history with ocd and how I'm doing now with my new job.
I quit my job at retail stores in 2016 because my OCD became so unbearable. It got to the point where I could barely feed myself because I thought everything was contaminated. I got help, saw a therapist, and took meds and by late 2018 I started working again. It was very hard because I had anxiety that I wasn't doing my job as well as others. But I overcame it. In mid 2020 I had issues with the new manager. She treated people badly and it became very stressful. Me and others complained to HR on our way out and she got moved to different store.
I came back to that retail store a few months after she left and things didn't change much. I stuck around early 2021 and quit. I had stopped taking my ocd meds, I was working twice as hard, and it was very stressful at work because a lot of people quit and some got fired. An unrelated depression hit me too temporarily; I had to hold back my tears at work a few times. I don't know why depression got me all of a sudden.
I hadn't been working since early 2021 because I had a stomach problem that took like 2 months to resolve and spent the rest of those months just trying to get mentally better. My money for rent ran out and it was a good time to get a job. So I've been at my new job for a few weeks now. There has been stress because I'm a bit of a perfectionist but now I feel very confident for the most part at the new retail store I'm working at.
I always give myself a hard time thinking I'm not doing s good job when I have to try something new. I'm in the process of learning some forklifts and that has me a little nervous. Or thinking that I'm taking too long doing a new assigned task. But so far they haven't said anything to me.
And just recently the new schedule was posted and I'm going to be working 6 days straight next week. They must like my work so far or they expect a ton from me. I'm a little nervous. And 5 of those days will be 8 hour shifts. I was hired as part time (most places here do it to avoid giving benefits) and now I'm getting 40 hours which is good. I need the money and I do enjoy working.
Just wanted to share this with people that have OCD. I've been on and off my meds this year a few times and started taking them again regularly. I'm making the effort to do it every day. I was lazy before. I don't want ocd to stop me from working again. The only time OCD bothered me was fairly recent. I was the cashier and had to handle packages of chicken and some of the fluids in it leaked out. I had some anxiety it was going to cause a contamination but I ended up getting over it and just had to power through it. I couldn't stop what I was doing to clean everything thing up every time I had to handle chicken like that.
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OCD
|
HI all,
Im in the UK so ive never head of this charity, but a big youtuber is fundraising for it because his son is autistic.
What I'd like to know is, is this an Autism Speaks situation or does the charity actually do good?
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPgmjTRvMo
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aspergers
|
Please don’t send any anti-medication messages, I can’t live the way I am anymore so I’m trying out medication so I can get better.
I’m just on half a dose right now, but I’ve been super sick. Lucky me, I also got a viral sore throat (unrelated to the meds), so on top of the nausea and dry mouth, my throat is swollen. I keep waking up wired with anxiety and insomnia, feeling like I’m choking for air. My doctor said it would probably be around 2 weeks before I start to feel better and the side effects even out. I’m just kind of down right now because I feel so sick. Nausea, shaky hands, dry mouth, sleeping problems.
I could just use some words of encouragement or even some tips to manage the side effects while they’re here.
(Obviously if after 2 weeks I don’t feel better I will talk to my doctor about it)
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ptsd
|
Not sure if this has been asked…I have been in psychotherapy with two separate LCSWs for the past 2 years. I was very recently diagnosed with ADHD that I have had my whole life, apparently, but because of my own research, not because either therapist ever caught on about it. I want to find a new therapist but am a bit disillusioned with LCSWs based on my experience and wonder if I should be trying to find a therapist with a different degree…maybe a PsyD? I also recently started medication but the practice doesn’t offer therapy. My question is, what has been your experience with your most helpful therapist to treat ADHD and what were their qualifications?
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ADHD
|
I don’t really want to go into further detail to explain these thoughts because I am ashamed of them. I just want to stop having them. They can completely ruin your day. I don’t even know how to get help for this because I refuse to tell a therapist my intrusive thoughts explicitly. Even I don’t say them aloud and I try to erase them from my mind. I feel like crying because I feel so disgusting. I’m not even the type of person that would even carry out my intrusive thoughts. Never. Not even. Wouldn’t even try. I just want help and I want them gone for good.
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OCD
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About 2 months ago I casually passed by someone on the street who had stalked me relentlessly in the past. I was walking not to far away from my apt in a neighborhood that I intentionally leave mostly anonymous. (People I know well generally do not know where I live/I do not trust people to not tell others where I live.)
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For context, technically he is still "following" me by continuing to infiltrate nearly any friend group I have ever had but that's another story for another time. To make a long story short I thought I was totally fine since I saw him because even though it was near my house I had convinced myself that it was a coincidence and that he wouldn't recognize me because I was wearing my mask. Also, it's been years from the peak of the situation and a good part of how I got over the terror (and terrorizing) was to intentionally be present instead of running away when he showed up physically in my life.
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However, today I went to the park and started to have a lot of fun (like child like fun?) for the first time in some time bc of quarantine and I was immediately physically struck by this feeling of intense terror - I suddenly realized that in that moment of lack of hyper vigilance that I may have actually been in this state since the moment I saw him 2 months ago which explains a lot of the really intense emotions I have been intermittently having since then. This idea has taken over my entire day and it's hard to do anything else at all.
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I would have told you I was happy had you asked me yesterday. I'm using mindfulness now to relax the fear but I'm kind of alarmed I could have been that afraid and not be really aware of it. Just sharing - I realize I may need direct ptsd therapy which I never received even though it was seriously a harrowing situation. And there were several other terrible things before and after but none as outright scary as that.
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ptsd
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Personally, i noticed that my OCD gets worse when the sun sets, so to speak. The moment it becomes dark outside intrusive thoughts then start to come to me more and more. It can be really hard if i can't make myself fall asleep. Maybe i feel as if at night noone can help me or be there for me cause everyone is asleep and i feel too alone.
Have anyone else here felt that way? How do you cope with it?
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OCD
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I have relative tolerance to some kinds of pains, like high temperatures or cuts and bruises. I can hold my hand in hot water for a bit, and I've scraped my kneed numerous times without it feeling as bad as it looked.
But headaches, or pain that's from the 'inside' drives me insane.
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aspergers
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Hey all! I was prescribed adderall last Tuesday so I’ve only been taking it for a few days. I was prescribed 20 mg but I take half in the morning and half in the early afternoon but it is extremely hard for me to wake up in the morning unless I have something I HAVE to do (appointment, job, etc). As a result, I end up waking up at 1 pm and I’ll only have the half of the adderall. I also take Prozac 20 mg but I take it at night cause the first day I took the adderall I took the Prozac as well for anxiety and depression and it made me drowsy but my mind was awake cause of the adderall so I switched to taking the Prozac at night. The problem is, I don’t feel more productive but I really want to me. I would say I’m 20% more productive if that. I have a sink full of dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and other things I need to do but I can never just start doing it. I feel lazy and useless and it’s awful. I have been taking pole dancing classes 3x a week but I started going consistently before being prescribed adderall. I also get my schoolwork done but I usually put it off until the last minute. What should I do? I want to feel productive and in control of my life but I can never seem to even get out of my bed…
TLDR: Just started taking adderall last week but still can’t start simple tasks like dishes and laundry.
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ADHD
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I constantly feel like SCREAMING on the inside. I’m don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want to be around anyone. I hate myself. I just want to feel better again. Please, what do you guys do to feel better without interacting with people and feeling useless? Please.
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depression
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I posted this in r/relationship_advice but wanted more advice, thanks.
My (20m) girlfriend (20f) are having a rough time in our relationship. She is going through a hard time right now and its really affecting her mental health. We have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. Recently, she hasn’t been sexually active, not interested in stuff we mainly do together and says she just wants to go on her phone most of the time. I brought this up to her because I didn’t know what was wrong and she said that she is sorry that it’s been affecting me and said she is depressed and doesn’t know what to do. She brought up us being codependent and to be fair, it is true. She does not have many people to talk to (no friends) and is reliant on me for emotional support. She brought up breaking up and that she is confused on what she wants because she’s scared she’ll hurt me by breaking up or by staying with me. I told her that if she wanted a break or boundaries to help her she replied with she didnt know. I want to be there for her and support her but I know I can’t fix her depression. After that we are still together but I was still uneasy. I brought up boundaries today with her and she said that she wants to be truthful about her feelings. She said recently when we hug it hasn’t been “romantically” but more like friends. She also said part of the reason she can’t make friends is because she thinks that I’m all she needs. Then she said that she has changed over the last 2 years and I don’t know what to think. If its her depression, because I know depression can make people lose feelings and emotions, I want to support her. I am going to my doctor this weekend and talk to him about getting myself medicated and to seek counselling. She is currently on Zoloft and doesn’t know if it is working(been on it for a while now) and she says she is going to look for therapy. She tells me that breaking up isn’t an ultimatum and that we can try to fix what we have because she really loves me too, telling me that I’m her person. And I truly believe her but I’m scared I’m making her feel trapped because of my mental state. I’m just confused and I don’t know what to do because I love this girl with all my heart. I have done research on codependency and depression and have written goals and boundaries to help. I am willing to wait for her because it is worth it. She is wonderful in every way.
Any helpful and insightful comments are welcome :(
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depression
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This disease is the root of all of my worst problems. It gets very exhausting "working" with this shit.
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I'm convinced society will never ever have a place for us. Most of us are unemployed. Most of us lack friendships or have absolutely none. Most of us can only ever dream of being in a relationship. We are the most marginalized group in society. Any support groups, therapy, or accommodations for us (for the few lucky ones) are at best laughable. Everything is stacked against us.
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They say it gets better... I don't think so. There are people with this disease nearing retirement age that have been working with this disease their entire lives still lacking good relationships, impoverished, forgotten, and alone.
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What am I supposed to fucking do? I just want a normal existence. I want a good career. I want be able to meaningfully connect with others. I want a relationship. Why did I have to get this shit?!
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Is sticking with this for 2, 3 ,4 more decades even worth it? I hope I get honest answers. Dying is easier for me than living. I'm NOT looking for friendships, support, or sympathy here. Just your honest thoughts here guys.
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Happiness/fulfillment and autism go together like fire and water.
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aspergers
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Hi i am a people pleaser, i was raised that my opionios and feelings are irralivant and dont deserve to be heard, and surprise surprise i am a 27yrs old door mat i am nothing but a screwdriver i am a tool that only exists for others to use as they wish.
i can not express how many times i was angry or sad or had something important to say or just wanted to share my own thoughts no matter how badly i wanted to , i feel like an autopilot takes control of my body and keeps me from saying anything at all.
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aspergers
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(Prefacing with I was provisionally diagnosed with OCD a year ago and I'm on a waiting list for help but it's the UK and I moved during the process so got booted down the list in a new area... I miss being in the best rated mental health care district, and even then I was waiting 6 months!)
I have a harm compulsion that I can often divert or ignore, but sometimes I can't and it's the lesser of two evils to my mind so I give in. When I do give in it's absolute, physical, palpable relief, despite the pain caused. Like everything melts into the background for an hour or so allowing me to rest/deal with things. It's practically euphoric. Which makes it very difficult to ignore but I'm a stubborn git and I try.
As I have other mental health problems, and the OCD is a recent one compared (and appears to be superseding old diagnoses, as I don't fit the markers for those when considering OCD in the mix), is this relief an OCD thing or something else?
No amount of googling seems to help me out with the reaction to acting on a compulsion, probably because we're all different, but I'm just wondering if anyone has an insight? I fully accept it might not be part of OCD but worth an ask. Thanks in advance.
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OCD
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Do I really have to intend and attempt to die in order to feel like I deserve it? To not be an attention seeker? I don’t need sympathy. I just want to feel understood.
I guess it’s just simple thinking for simple people. Sure, it wasn’t the best place to scream “god fuckign help me” but attention wasn’t what I was looking for, at all. I never wanted random strangers to take responsibility for my own wellbeing. I just wanted to see people that could relate, and how they’re trying to approach this problem.
I really wish I could tell you this but I didn’t want to argue like you did. I could tell.
I guess I just have to go on acting like I’m cool and very much alright while listening to.. idk fucking slipknot for the rest of my life because otherwise, it’d be CRINGE bro
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depression
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I haven't taken a proper shower, combed my hair, picked up my clothes or done any of my college related work. I feel like I'm in freefall.
Sometimes I gather all my energy and get started with something and then I just stop. I've had a few rough patches before, a few hours/days of 0 productivity but I usually get back into the groove with some effort.
This time it's been weeks. Perhaps a couple of months. I have so much work piling on, and no amount of fear of failure or motivation to succeed is helping. It's like I don't care anymore. I'm exhausted all the time, but I spend the whole day doing nothing. I just pace around the house until my legs hurt and then I lie down watch some videos and fall asleep.
While pacing around, I've been obsessively daydreaming, googling details to make up intricate stories in my head. I end up having intense emotional reactions to these daydreams, though I know it's all made up and in my head. When I get mentally exhausted I stop making up these stories.
Then I get anxious about not doing my work and again get back into a daydream slowly.
Usually, if I'm close to missing a deadline I'll put together something In the last minute but these past few weeks... I've missed multiple deadlines and I just cannot bring myself to care enough to actually do something about it. In the background of my mind there is this constant hum of dread.. I feel like I'm wasting my life away. I promise myself at every instance that ok, I will sit down and get this done now. And I break that promise every single time. I'm so sick of myself.
What do I do stop this? How do I stop wasting my time and get on top of my work? Does anyone here have similar experiences, what did you do to manage such behaviour?
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ADHD
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I pride myself on my ability to find answers (however dubious) via Google. But I am stumped and it was the most important Google of my life.
Treatment for PTSD seems to be primarily based around dealing with a past event. My desperate plea for help relates to a horrible trauma with far reaching consequences that involve a survivor with life changing injuries, and the PTSD affecting another party.
Overwhelming hatred, blame, bitterness, love and survivors guilt appear to be insurmountable issues. I want to help but have no idea how to persuade someone to seek help whilst this pain and guilt is an ongoing reality for both parties involved.
I am holding someone afloat who doesn’t want to be here and I have no plan of action. I would be so grateful for advice and perspective x
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ptsd
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[Content Warning: Suicide Idealization]
Hey Everyone,
I am a 29 year old aspie working at a coffee shop in one of the busiest malls in America. Originally when I became a barista, I thought it would be a simply be something I could use for income until I found a job elsewhere. Cut to three years later and the job itself has consumed my life to the point where it consumes all of my energy and unable to do anything else with my life.
Every day I go to work, get stuck on register, and then deal with the worst customers ever imagined. I’ve always came to a point of almost having a meltdown because I get really overwhelmed by the sheer crowds of people. When I do end up going over the breaking point, I usually run to the back where no one can see me and try to calm myself down. It’s even gotten to the point where I fantasize about killing myself every time I have to deal with being of register, just because that’s my go-to thought process whenever I get too stressed out. Like, the majority of the time I’m at work I just think about self-destruction, and I don’t know how to stop.
This isn’t healthy, this job is slowly eating away at me and it’s currently my only source of income and healthcare. I hate it so much and know that things will never get better. At this point, I don’t really know if I could better my own life, is anyone one else in a similar boat?
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aspergers
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Its good to k**l him Nd k**'ll myself...no self respect or esteem remaining...
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ptsd
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I have ocd but I dont know if this is part of it so I dont really know where else to post this. Here's the story:
So basically a little background, my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months already (LDR and met once last feb 27) and we've spent most of those 5 months time together. This is my first relationship and my girlfriend came from a relationship where she got cheated on. For the time that we have been together, I can clearly tell that she's already moved on from her past relationship and that she doesn't miss her ex at all anymore. In short, our relationship is going pretty well.
Recently, we had encountered and are dealing with an issue. She doesn't have that much of a close relationship with the older people in her family so her family started spreading rumors that she was seeing her ex since january this year. It came to the point where she even heard her aunt wanting to talk to my parents about it. She basically got so fed up about her family picking their nose in our relationship so we decided to be on a break for a while. (My girlfriend was the one that told me all this).
So the problem now is that I keep imagining my girlfriend and her ex seeing each other even if I know damn well that it didn't happen. This thought has been popping up in my head for the past few days now and it's the first time in my life where I'm getting so affected by a rumor to the point where I'm even imagining how it happened(or how it didnt happen). I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts for quite a while now so I don't really know if it's part of it.
At the time the issue was happening and how she was telling me all about it, I felt fine and wasn't affected by the rumor at all. I would say that I even handled the situation pretty well but as mentioned, a few days later, the rumor kept affecting me.
I've been telling myself that it isn't real, it didn't happen and that it's just a rumor. I've even tried accepting it and mocking the thought but it somehow just keeps coming to me and I'm so tired of it.
I really want to know if anyone else experienced/is experiencing something like this, if it's part of intrusive thoughts and how to deal with it.
Note: Idk if this is relevant to the situation but I've always hated her ex after what he's done.
Another note: My girlfriend is really loyal based on a lot of evidence and experience so the rumor didn't happen
Another another note: I've been dealing with my intrusive thoughts through self ERP and it's actually working pretty well. For example, I would get thoughts that I would cheat on my girlfriend and I might lose control. So I would challenge myself to try to flirt or message other girls and it would make me more anxious. Because of this I get less of the thought and it doesnt affect me that much anymore. Would also want to know if anyone knows how to do ERP for this thought
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OCD
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I want to talk about my anedhonia and I don't have anyone to talk to irl. Having to motivation or curiosity about anything is driving me crazy and university admissions are clossing in a month.
I would be very grateful if some of you would talk with me.
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depression
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For years I wasn't aware of my condition. It led to depression, seemingly starting at 12, getting worse and worse. Now I'm near my 29th, still depressed (but under medication), and I miss my impulsive yet short term motivation. I couldn't do almost anything I was engaged in without some external force, but at least could become excited for it.
Nowadays, stimulants help me focus, to keep myself busy, but situation became so hard that now I don't care. I lost motivation, and some days that I rather working remotely, or I decide to do something on my own, I don't start it at all, even that short term impulsive motivation is gone.
P.s. Thanks to my shitty toxic parents that prevented me to visit a psych for years even though they knew I had neurological damage due to my late treated neonatal jaundice. I won't reproduce, so you and your family tree end. I won't waste another person's life just like what you did.
Sorry I just needed to say that, I can't cry for myself..
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ADHD
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I haven't told a single soul minus on here today, that I have been having these thoughts. Been calling the hotline 3 times a week for the past month. I am too nervous to chat to any of my coworkers about it, because I dont like bothering people. Yet I have no real friend group outside of work to chat about these things.
It all started when I had a random uber driver say certain words that trigger my ptsd. It makes me hear my rappist voice instead of the person speaking to me. Took my fiancee over 3 hrs to get me out of the episode and truthfully I have been off since. Now I just feel like I'm trash and just a bother to everyone around me. Idk how to approach a single person about these thoughts, and trying to figure ways around it personally.
Does anyone have advice or techniques?
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ptsd
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Hello reddit people, never posted here before but I'm at a point where I need to say something and this is the only place I feel comfortable talking right now. I've been jobless for 6 months now struggling to pay bills and be financially stable. I've been applying and interviewing for various jobs throughout the months but no luck, and today I received 4 rejections all at once. Rejections don't usually phase me that much, but that actually hit pretty hard. I fell low, and now it feels as if the last spark of light in me has died. I truly do not care what happens to me anymore. I've exhausted myself only to find disappointment and I am done trying. Trying at everything.
I now go throughout the days feeling pointless. No job, no girlfriend, my family is dysfunctional and no help, my 2 friends have strong mental health and good lives so they don't really get it. I just don't know what to do or what to think. I'm just numb.
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depression
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Just diagnosed! Not going to take meds just yet but would love to know what helps you with these different subjects.
Organization: this is my main one. I've used up all the space in my google calendar to help me get organized.
Entertainment
Daily dopamine: be it sunbathing, gratitude texts, funny mems, idk
Any others?
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ADHD
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This is more of a rant to be honest.
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Hello all! I was diagnosed with Aspergers aged ten and I feel like the wrong kinds of people take advantage of that. In social situations, when I sense something wrong or I feel uneasy I don’t stand up for myself, I don’t raise my voice or say no. I feel like I haven’t changed or grown since I was a kid and that I have never really done anything for myself in the longterm. I've tried to illustrate this by breaking down my life experiences into different areas:
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* **In terms of friendships**: For example, when I was 9 the only ‘friend’ of mine wanted an artwork that I made in school and lied about making it. When I said no he sulked and threatened to not be my friend anymore unless I gave it to them so that they could pretend that they made it. So out of fear of losing him I gave it to him. I have some good, stable friends now and I try to establish better boundaries and treat them the way that I would like to be treated. However a lot of my besties are online, the reason of which I will explain a little more about later.
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* **In terms of relationships:** I feel like relationships is the only aspect of my life I have somewhat grown from and the only thing that I have successfully achieved. My first boyfriend was also my first heartbreak, and that emotionally destroyed me. My second boyfriend was a sexually abusive, manipulative liar and I ignored a lot of red flags during our time together. I learned from it, but it got me thinking that I’m a magnet for the wrong kinds of people. I’m in a loving relationship now with my third boyfriend. He is also my best friend and he is a wonderful person who I can fully trust; I really do believe that he makes me a better person. But I am scared of becoming too dependent on him and what will happen to me if we ever break up. After all, my first heartbreak took years to recover from.
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* **In terms of my hobbies, interests and life-long ambitions:** I am a film studies graduate now, but I used to enjoy drawing and painting since I was a child as I am born to artistic parents. In my final years of high school used be in an online fandom in which I would do fan art for. It was an escape from everyday life. I made a (now ex) friend there who was also autistic but also mentally unstable and clingy. She was an emotional vampire who would rant to me for hours, romanticise suicide and would guilt me into doing free art. It was a wonder that I even passed high school as I was going through a bout of depression during our friendship, but that’s a whole other story. After I cut her off I stopped doing fan art, even making art for my honest friends. Other people in the fandom e.g wannabe influencers and online Karens would also lash out and be rude to me whenever I pointed out that I don’t do free art or commissions (you know how online artists get treated like garbage). Eventually I got put off doing art completely and I don’t enjoy it so much anymore. I want to be creative again and be confident enough to take risks as I do feel like art, film and/or writing is my siren call. But even though I have a film studies degree and I enjoy what I do know I feel like I've lost one of my best gifts/talents.
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To summarise, I am growing as a person but I’m scared that if I continue to be a door mat that people will almost always walk all over me. For example, how do I stand up to future employers who want me to work without pay? Or how do I discipline my future children properly without being too soft on them when they misbehave? **I really do hope that this doesn't come across as blaming other people for my problems and my past, but I am getting tired of being too nice and trusting.**
So Reddit, I’d appreciate any kind of support. Thank you.
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aspergers
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Last year i had sex for the first time since and by the time we finished i had deteriorated so badly my vision was just red and i vomited all over myself
My mind is convinced that sex could never, ever be out of love and that whole time we were doing it my body was screaming that he was going to hurt me, he was going to kill me, he was going to destroy me even knowing that he loved me for more than my body
I found out later on that id gotten pregnant and putting aside the pain its caused because im trans to begin with, over the months the fear and the hatred have just gotten deeper and deeper to the point i felt lifeless and inhuman and rabid and i dont know how ive kept myself alive
I woke up with my water broken and i just started wailing
I dont remember what happened because i was reliving every moment and i felt like i was about to die, i couldnt even feel myself screaming
My boyfriend took only my baby to the hsopital because i cant pay for myself, i love my baby but right now i cant feel the love for them, i dont even know their gender
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ptsd
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Learning about OCDs and that I have one has been rough. Today was bad cause I felt useless cause I couldn’t open a door.
Like everyone around me either gets mad at me or says it gets better. They don’t know what the fuck it’s like having your head tell you to do something even if you know you don’t have to.
I’m getting mad and upset and just want to scream at the top of my lungs, but mostly just want a hug and cry and learn.
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OCD
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I hate how dehumanized and how I‘m made fun of my short height by others. Even my own parents make fun of my height. It‘s sad that I have to consider leg lengthening surgery, just to fix a mistake a fucking god or the fucking universe made when creating me. I‘ll have crippled legs but atleast I‘m taller and get treated like a normal human being with respect.
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depression
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There are some prominent voices in the ADHD community claiming that the only generic version of Concerta that you should take is the "authorized generic." Some have gone as far as saying no other generics use an osmotic delivery system. This is not true.
I have confirmed with the manufacturer that Camber’s generic for Concerta does use OROS technology. Camber distributes this drug from Ascent Pharmaceuticals so I emailed them requesting what delivery system they use and data on blood levels of the drug. Here is the reply that I received (note: RLD stands for Reference Listed Drug aka brand name Concerta):
“Please be informed that Methylphenidate extended-release tablets manufactured by Ascent employs OROS tri-layer osmotic technology, an advanced drug delivery system similar to the RLD OROS trilayer technology. The proposed generic drug product resemble to a conventional tablet, comprises an osmotically active, tri-layer inner core coated with a rigid semipermeable cellulose membrane and an outercoat of immediate release drug. The drug delivery is similar to RLD. Please find the linear plot of mean plasma concentrations of both Ascent generic product VS Brand CONCERTA at both Fasting and Fed conditions as per FDA guidance for your reference.”
Some of the original generics have been downgraded by the FDA but the advice to only take the "authorized generic" is outdated. The Camber generic seems to be a good one.
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TL;DR - Camber's generic Concerta uses osmotic release technology and seems to work like the original.
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ADHD
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I am ruining myself with my impulsive spending. I try and budget but fuck, it is hard. Even when I do budget, it goes straight out of the window. It's mostly food, not random shit. I will pack a lunch but not want to eat that, I just HAVE TO SPEND MONEY. It is really debilitating. I am not medicated, I already have a brain malformation and I am severely sedated by a few meds. I have never been diagnosed but I tick ALL the boxes other than being hyper, I am never hyper because I am too fucking stoned. I smoke a shit load to dull myself down and make excuses for being lazy. God help me. Where do I start? How do you stop spending money so impulsively, why do i HAVE to spend money that day?Does anyone have any tips?I have a son so I can't put my money away and 'not touch it' when the most random shit comes up.I budgeted my week and then he lost his fucking school shoes so now I am totally out of the window. I just bought a house, I can't even start packing and I move in fucking 7 days.
Why am I like this?
EDIT: It is my partners house, he saved all the money, I just paid the rent while he saved lol.
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ADHD
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Hi, I am having a very bad episode of OCD. It’s so bad in fact I feel like my life is over....please someone tell me if I’m overreacting or if I should truly be concerned. So, at my apartment there are many ant beds with ant killer powder on them. I was carrying my book bag to my car one day and my book bag strap dragged across one of the beds with the ant killer. Later, I wiped down the strap with a Lysol wipe. I cannot remember if I used the same wipe or another one (I really hope I used another) to wipe down the bottom of my bag, then. I had forgotten my notebook was inside. I then went to go wash my hands, and inspected my notebook to see if it had gotten wet. I could not decide if the notebook had gotten wet, or it was just cold. I then put the notebook on a table and forgot about it. My entire family helped me move yesterday, and the notebook was touched. Then, all of my other belongings were touched as well. I am TERRIFIED that the notebook did indeed get wet and soaked up the ant killer. Now literally all my belongings have been exposed if so. I feel like I’m in danger and have endangered my entire family, since they were handling said objects in the move. I expressed this worry to my mom, and she wasn’t concerned. She reassured me it was my OCD and that I’m thinking too deeply into it. Someone please help me. I am very distressed and just want to get back to my life. I feel like my family and I are going to be slowly poisoned over time and die. I want to cry.
Should I even attempt to clean anything? My personal care products at least? My mom touched them when she was helping me pack up. My mom has since touched all her personal care products, as she applies makeup every day. I’m worried for her. If residual chemicals got on all the items as I suspect could it poison all of us over time and give us cancer and/or shorten our lifespans?? My brain is telling me that something terrible will happen. I genuinely don’t know if it’s that serious. Someone please help and be completely honest.
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OCD
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I keep having traumatic dreams that are basically flashbacks of what happened that caused me intense trauma (emotional abuse, bullying, domestic abuse, sexual abuse) and even things that hasn’t happened before. I often feel guilty that my trauma isn’t real because I haven’t been abused physically or raped. I tend to have a lot of dreams and my dreams have always been very detailed. But the last three nights I’ve been having the same dream. I started having really bad dreams after leaving my abusive ex. Memories from our relationship play in my dreams and even things my brain thinks will happen in the future because I never was given closure. It’s been like this for months and I don’t think I can take it anymore. Every night I have a dream that ends up ruining my day. The tips my therapist gave me only help sometimes. I was given trazodone but haven’t taken it yet because I don’t know if it will help me with my dreams. I feel stuck in a cycle and it just feels like everything happened again when I dream about it.
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ptsd
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I work in an open office. Most days I can put up with the relatively mild level of noise. Most of the time the radio is at a soft enough level to not be irritating or interrupting.
Some days the radio, the sound of people's furious typing, the loud ticking of the ancient analog clock on the desk across from mine is enough to drive me insane.
Monday past I was tired and in pain from stomach issues, and a second radio had been turned on in the office. Where my desk is was the intersection of the two radio sounds. I tried wearing headphones but unless I blasted the sound it didn't overcome the irritation/distraction of having two radios going at once.
Was it fair for me to ask them to turn the radios down, just a bit? Both of those colleagues got real shitty about it. I don't understand that because I don't like to inflict my taste in music on anyone, let alone 5 days a week in the office. Even if I did I would have no issues if someone asked me to turn it down.
I think the problem is I have excellent hearing and auditory processing issues from ADHD. I can hear everything that goes on in the office at all times.
Got any ideas for solutions? Anyone have any suggestions for wireless earbuds with great noise cancelling effects?
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ADHD
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I keep obsessing over the idea that everyone I know hates me and I'm just a burden. Every time I get upset over anything somehow it leads to that and I just get more down over it. I have a boyfriend of almost 5 years and i love him so much but i just keep thinking he fucking me hates and loves everyone but me and I can't talk with him about it because its just stupid to ask because I know that's not true. I hate to keep reassuring if people care about me or not I just feel it causes tension and actually make it true. I've always had these fears since I was 14 but it's gotten so much worse
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OCD
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Through Mindfulness Therapy we learn how to neutralize obsessive and intrusive thoughts, images and memories as well as neutralizing the compulsive impulses of compulsive behaviors.
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Welcome! My name is Peter Strong. I'm a professional psychotherapist specializing in Mindfulness Therapy for the treatment of anxiety and depression and OCD and other emotional problems using mindfulness therapy and mindfulness-based techniques rather than medications or the conventional talking therapy that you may be familiar with.
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Mindfulness Therapy really tries to address the underlying process that causes your anxiety or depression or problem with intrusive thoughts and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
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So Skype Therapy for OCD is one of the services that I offer. All my online therapy is done via Skype. It's very important that you use Skype or FaceTime or similar video platform because it's important that you can see each other during these sessions. This makes the therapy sessions much more effective.
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During the online Skype therapy sessions that I offer I'll be teaching you how to work with the two primary elements of OCD.
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So excessively worrying about that and obsessing over hygiene is one kind of reactive thinking that greatly accentuates the underlying anxiety. The thinking fuels anxiety feeds anxiety and it intensifies the anxiety. So that's one kind of thinking process.
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The other kind of problems that people run into with thinking is intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts, intrusive images, intrusive memories. So this is sometimes called "Pure O" sort of a pure form of obsession that is caused by intrusive thoughts that really upsets the minds and cause considerable anxiety.
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So that's one side of the work. We work with these obsessive or intrusive thoughts. On the other side of OCD is working with the compulsive behaviors.
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So the thoughts convert into behaviors like hand washing or trying to clean every surface in the house multiple times over, or whatever it might be. The compulsive behavior is a response to the obsessive thinking.
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We would typically imagine the obsessive-compulsive thought or activity, we would play it through in the mind and we would watch to see what kind of emotion is triggered. Typically, fear or anxiety, but it could be other emotions as I say. When we see that emotion we then start to build a relationship with the emotion itself based on consciousness, that's where the mindfulness comes in.
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The second part of our work in mindfulness therapy is to see how those emotions work, to look at their structure. And it's become very clear to me through working with people over many years now, that the primary structure of the emotions, it is not thoughts, it is imagery.
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So the thoughts are products of the emotion, but what causes the emotion is imagery, psychological imagery. The way that you see that fear or anxiety in the mind is what determines its intensity and that in turn leads to the propagation of thoughts and compulsive activities.
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So we examine this imagery in great detail during mindfulness work on our OCD. We literally meditate on those thoughts and the emotions underneath the thoughts to see how they work, to look at their imagery, to see what it is about the imagery that causes them to be intense, that creates that intense emotional charge.
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So if you would like to learn more about how to work with either obsessive thinking or intrusive thoughts, memories and images, and also to work with compulsive behaviors, then please contact me. Let's schedule an online therapy session via Skype.
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Skype Therapy for OCD is a very effective way of learning how to manage OCD. Most people see quite dramatic changes after the first three or four sessions. Once you learn how to apply mindfulness to work with your OCD you'll see very encouraging results.
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So if you're interested in Skype Therapy for OCD then please reach out to me. Contact me. Tell me more about your particular situation. Tell me what times and days work for you and then we can go ahead and schedule the first Skype Therapy session to help you overcome your obsessive-compulsive disorder.
**Online Counseling for treating OCD** [**https://sites.google.com/view/online-therapist-for-ocd/online-counseling-for-treating-ocd**](https://sites.google.com/view/online-therapist-for-ocd/online-counseling-for-treating-ocd)
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OCD
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I’ve just had a bit of a realisation, I grew up with a single mother who was a narcissist and we were dirt poor. From other people nearby I have seen that people generally mirror their upbringing and yet I have a very very deeply imbedded ambitious streak and it’s pulled me away from the nightmare that was my upbringing. I think my aspergers allows me to see things more logically and understand I should just be listening to me elders but I should be understanding when they don’t know what they’re on about and pursue better? Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, it’s bank holiday here so been drinking
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aspergers
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i don't really know if i can post this here?
I had a lot happen to me and ever since then, I sometimes have a feeling like I want to be a different gender and change my name.. and things like that
I'm comfortable with myself but like.. idk
i dont know what this means and if it really means anything at all
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ptsd
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I ended the relationship with my boyfriend a month ago. I have been depressed for some time. My depression started shortly after I graduated from college. I soon found a job and moved in with my boyfriend. I totally lost myself, I don't know where I stand for in life anymore and what gives me energy. Making choices makes me restless and scares me. I feel totally worthless and hate myself. My smile has not been genuine for months. I survive from day to day. My boyfriend was always very patient and positive. He supported me and tried to make me smile over and over again. I tried my best to accept the help he gave me and smile when he tried to cheer me up. Because I hate myself so much and think I am worthless, it is very difficult to admit. My black self disrespecting thoughts scare me and make me unjustly doubt the people who love me.
After nine months in depression I decided to end the relationship after four years. I think I need to have self-respect first , like myself and be able to set boundaries before I can be there for someone else. Yet my heart hurts enormously. It seems as if my existence has no meaning now that my relationship has ended. I can’t be alone without going creazy. Do you have any tips on how to find myself again. Does anyone recognize this situation?
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depression
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I sometimes make up a situation that is somewhat weird, on purpose, in order to mimic my actual OCD. This mental situation is not based on any of my fears, so it is not something that gets me anxious at all. I push this little faux-OCD signal when I'm anxious to kind of indirectly realize I'm anxious over nothing. Like, let's say, I tell myself 'What if I didn't just eat provolone right now? What if it was something evil?' (Fake OCD situations don't have to be specific either. Just weird and something you know for sure isn't true since it doesn't scare you.)
Since I actually trust that I did indeed eat provolone, I can easily tell myself that I'm safe, and no anxiety triggers. This in-turn causes me to have a little boost in confidence with my real anxious OCD signal, thus relieving some anxiety, ultimately lessening the amount of energy I have to put in to help let go of this signal.
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OCD
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There are just certain thoughts Im really scared to share because I'm so scared that it turns out not to be intrusive and that the content of those thoughts turn out to be true... I know it's irrational but like I really have a hard time bringing myself to say it...
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OCD
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TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE
idk what I’m really trying to gain by posting this but I just feel so alone, I was raped on New Year’s Eve and I don’t know why I’m still so affected by it. When I told my parents my mum accused me of lying and my dad told me to stop talking about it. The only people I had to support me was my best friend and boyfriend. My friend is a terrible support system. I love her but she has 0 capacity for empathy, she can’t talk ab my rape with me bc she just give me advice or stares at me blankly rather then validating my feelings. My bf has been really good with support but I feel like he is sick of hearing it and I don’t want to continuously cry to him about it. I have tried therapy but everytime it has been absolutely dreadful and doesn’t help at all. I feel so alone and isolated with my thoughts because I also don’t have the ability to talk about my problems. I don’t know how to express how I feel to my loved ones, I’ve always kept to myself but after my rape I have been 1000x more closed off. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s getting to the point I can’t run from how I feel anymore but idk how to face my problems when I don’t have anyone to help me. Sorry if this made no sense, not rly expecting comments I just needed to tell someone
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ptsd
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I'm a heterosexual, cis-male in my early 20s, who have had OCD since my mid teens, but I came to realize the nature of my illness by the end of my 18th year of being not dead. Since then, I've been trying, albeit inconsistently, to solve issues tied to this illness by myself, since I cannot afford a treatment of a professionals nor can I rely on those in my country, even if I was financially able. I'm confident to say that my handle on this disease have improved, but not fully under control or cured. However, as the OCD is something that penetrates the depths of your mind, holding hostage subconscious contents attached to strong emotions, I often find myself on the verge of breaking down and giving in to its demands. After all, I wouldn't consider myself as a disciplined, strict person. Very spontaneous, that comes with its advantages and disadvantages, but mostly disadvantages when paired with a neurological disorder of this nature.
Now, I'm here to speak of a particularity, a quirk, let's say, that came to my notice most recently, as I've become more cognizant about the way OCD and my body and behavior interact with one another. Before that, let me disclose that I have a deep-rooted sexual insecurity, tied to my negative masculine self-image and pessimistic prognostications on the basis of the explicit patterns of the sexual domain of human activity. That led me to feel emasculated and powerless whenever I fail to show assertiveness and as a general response to incompetence in any domain of life. Hence, my obsessions are related to the catastrophizing of scenarios where my romantic and sexual pursuits end up against my desires, in response to which the usual happens: compulsions of mental rituals, sometimes accompanied by physically repeating an action as minor as crossing a threshold, such as leaving a room.
Back to the main topic, I have been sensing these absurd correlation of negative thoughts and the simultaneous sensations of muscle spasms on inappropriate areas of the body, which are objectified and fetishized in the most vulgar sense from the point of view of a male gaze. They do not happen as an obvious causal effect, but it is occasional enough to stimulate a cascade of anxious deliberations. The chest, the butt and the genitals seem to respond with twitches and spasms. Even my abdomen to an extent, which I've correlated with insemination prior to fertilization, further emphasizing the anxiety of the feminine, which have been degraded into its most foulest incarnation by my vulgar, patriarchal prejudices. I've come to know of a phenomenon known as a groinal response, which helped alleviate any implicit sexual connotations to these events that my mind would conjure up, but it's not rare for me to be drop my guard. Eventually, I inferred that these were mere effects of nervousness and other emotions, which are sometimes expressed in particular sensations around the body, just as you would sense a gross distribution of heat around a specific area of your body when you're angry. I'm still in doubt, however. OCD really fucks up your brain, if you're not careful. Magical thinking grows rampant, and you lose control of your life, which further enforces the feeling of doom, as poor judgment leads to poor circumstances, setting you up on a trip down a vicious spiral.
Anyways, I want to know whether this problem has had iterations in the past and if anyone can relate and offer suggestions. There is a good deal of peace to be had in the knowledge that this disease isn't symptomatic of an underlying personality disorder, but rather, a strictly neuropsychological one. But hey, I won't deny that I'm messed up, in spite of my disabilities. After all, whether it's HOCD, POCD, ROCD, or whatever, all of them exploit our existent vulnerabilities, creating even more vulnerabilities as a resultant. A fragile human being.
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OCD
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Atleast I will lose weight...its morning and energy levels are zero...I haven't done anything yet.
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depression
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POSSIBLE TMI:
TL; DL - ED, difficulty urinating sometimes are side effects. Does your body get used to Strattera and the side effects go away?
I am 53 and was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago as a young man trying to attend college. The Psychologist on staff noticed me and did a diagnosis . Back then it was nearly impossible to find a doctor that even believed ADHD was real and stimulants scared me off anyway.
Last year I decided I've had enough and pursued how to manage my life with ADHD. Recently my doctor prescribed Strattera. After two weeks I was blown away. It was an emotional experience to feel the results.
Except for the side effects. Namely the ED, difficulty urinating. The ED isn't complete, but it's enough. Not to be crude or gross you out with information my penis and testicles were always drawn up like I have been working outside in zero degree weather all day.
I went off of it and he prescribed Welbutrin. Zero effect. I'm back on Stratttera to see if the side effects wane. So far they have not. I truly am moved by the results to my ADHD, but feel a higher does is probably in order. But the side effects are just too harsh.
I'm so glad I found this forum. I look forward to your insight.
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ADHD
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DAE practice gratitude in a sort of doomer way? As in
\*I am grateful that I haven't gotten into that horrible accident awaiting me yet\*
\*So grateful my parents can live independently still because at some point they won't\*
\*Grateful that my friends and family are not suffering now because one day they will\*
\*Really grateful that this past summer wasn't so hot because the future summers will be really hot\*
\*Grateful I don't have whatever disease is going to ruin my health in the future yet\*
\*Grateful I have fresh drinking water because someday maybe I won't\*
Well it could be worse... and it almost inevitably be WILL be worse.
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depression
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I’ve always struggled with intense anger and on the occasions it gets bad enough I black out, or start to (I now know I also have DID). Lately I’ve been resisting the dissociation in order to work on integrating and healing these intense emotions, but the rage behind the “blackout curtain” is so fucking intense that I can only tolerate it for a couple minutes at a time. I find myself pacing around my apartment, I start pulling my hair and needing to scream, my whole body starts to hurt, and I feel like my mind is on fire. I can ground myself, but because I’m dissociative that means the feelings just vanish like they never happened and I can’t work with them. Then it comes out unexpectedly at other times, if I feel either physically threatened (which is all the time if I’m in crowds or just a crowded sidewalk), or if I feel someone is gaslighting me (I’ve been in a perfectly normal conversation at a cocktail party, got triggered by some opinion someone expressed, and blacked out, and when I came to several minutes later it turned out I had yelled at them and then dumped my red wine on their white carpet!!). Nowadays in triggering situations I just leave/take a break if I feel it coming out. But I’m gonna have to let myself actually feel the rage that’s in there if I’m going to heal, and I don’t know how to tolerate it—there’s a reason that those emotions got split off into another part of me. In all honesty it is like pure, murderous rage and hate, and it feels like it would drive a person insane to feel that way for any length of time. How do folks here manage such intense rage (whether you’re dissociative or not)?
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ptsd
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So one of my compulsions is to research whatever I'm going through in the moment, for example how to deal with anxiety, depression, toxic people, eating habits etc, even if I already know the answer. Not only that, but each time I research a topic it has to be at least 4 sources (usually has to be top result) so about 1-2hrs each depending on article lengths. Then I have to categorize each tip into 4 sections (mindfulness, CBT, self love, social relationships).
I have accumulated 100s of research notes this year because of this obessesion, I barely even look at them, I usually just remember those 4 main categories & know how to deal with whatever it is.
So should I delete them? It doesn't hurt to keep them I just feel like maybe it'll break my attachment & make it easier to stop obessesive researching if I do? How would a person without research type ocd, go about researching these types of topics, do you just summarize the key points &or just keep the info in your head?
Any advice is greatly appreciated thank you
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OCD
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Right now I feel that my anxiety is purely physical, mentally I feel calm, but the fact that only my body seems to have anxiety and not my mind gives me anxiety. I have been listening to audios to calm anxiety while sleeping for almost 2 weeks, but now I am afraid that I am actually repressing anxiety, I don't even know if that is possible, and I am afraid that repressing mental anxiety has led me to express it physically, and i'm afraid that I might have a heart attack or something.
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OCD
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Also, any advice for dealing with doubt about whether you should continue committing to a long term decision?
I’ve been stuck in an indecision loop for a long time where I keep changing my mind and I’m afraid of losing my life to this.
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OCD
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I don't know why, but when I feel really bad I come on here and it weirdly makes me feel better. Relating to a bunch of strangers for no other reason, than the overdrawn, tedious and dark writings that I feel all the damn time, just makes me feel better.
That being said, I am seeing the same sentiments repeated over and over again, which makes me think am I actually depressed? Like I feel like my turmoil is the centre of the universe, yet they're sentiments are spread all over the world, as if they aren't really mine, as if I'm just in a state of being that can be shared between lots of different people and manifested in different ways. Which makes me wonder: do the normies in my life view how I act as just melodramatic and too focused on the negative? Like do they view how I act as just melodramatic, the same way I view the posts on this sub as melodramtic?
idk anymore, don't even know what level of depressed Im in. To view posts that talk about the most depressingly morbid shit that nobody in the real world would ever say as tedious. As if to say "yea yea I'm sad, lonely and suicidal too, say something else new", how fucked is that? Like I'm so use too feeling like shit, that when someone else shares their experience of the exact same feeling I find it as trivial. Like fuck this depressive nonsense already, seriously
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depression
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So my boyfriend has issues with self confidence and he got a hair cut. Dont get me wrong, he looks amazing and I'm super proud of him for getting a style that was out of his comfort zone. Also, it was really nice to see him really feeling himself for the first time since we've gotten together (almost 2 years) but we were having sex(my eyes are usually closed) and I opened my eyes and I realized that it was the same haircut as my rapist and then just started realizing certain features they had in common and just disassociated until the end. I hadn't even made the connection when he first got his hair cut but now I feel gross for finding him super handsome after noticing the same features. Like I had a crush on my bf a few years before we got together and 6 months before the incident happened with the one dude so I don't feel like it's a case of "I fell for someone who reminded me of my trauma "
Anyways this feels like a giant rant so I'll try to get to the point, I'm just having issues formulating thoughts.
How do I address this. I dont want to disassociate during sex or have flash backs. I just finally got to the place where I was comfortable. But also I love my bf and I've never seen him this confident in his look before. I literally could not stop smiling at the fact that he was just staring in the mirror smiling bc normally he avoids mirrors. Also, he doesn't know what my attacker looked like so it's not like he has some sick fetish.
I just dont know what I'm supposed to do.
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ptsd
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Hi! I started Prozac 3 weeks ago I’m currently on 20mg and I have 0 appetite whatsoever I mean eating like half a meal a day. Nauseous if I force myself to eat! Anyone have any tips or experience this?
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OCD
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So a few weeks ago (I think) I got really busy and forgot to take my meds (adderall) and that one day turned into a few that turned into a few weeks.
Anyways now I’m here in a full adderall crash sleeping all the time depressed, fatigued, etc. i started taking my meds again any tips on how to pull myself out?
Please and thank you
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ADHD
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I’m freaking out right now and in an rocd spiral. I listen to boyfriend asmr role play because I find it very soothing, it’s like reading a romance book but your a character in it. Sort of similar to wattpad if you know what that is. I feel like listening to these counts as cheating! Cause people fantasise themselves as the main character in a book is what I’m technically doing but in the role I have a boyfriend. I’ve read comments to see if I wasn’t the only one that has a boyfriend and listening to these, turns out I’m not the only one but I feel guilting for fantasying even though it’s normal. Right?
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OCD
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After so many years of biting my nails from boredom, stress or just because they were something to chew on, I quit!! I've been enjoying my healthy nails for a few months now so I'm quite sure that bad habit is fixed and I'm sooo happy about it. And it all started with a random hyperfixation too!! I love life :)
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ADHD
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Well, folks, I feel like shit. I’m in my nice warm bed right now when I’m supposed to be at work. This lateness has been happening more and more lately and I’m just so frustrated with myself. I think I’ve also been depressed lately because I feel like just simply giving up. I work two jobs, one being a service org for resume building, and the other one a fast food place.
The other staff is on break till the New Year, but my boss at the service org told me that since I haven’t really done jack shit since I got there, I don’t get a break. So here I am, late and making up excuses not to go in, all the while feeling like shit for it. On top of it, I don’t even get a free fucking day out of it because I still have to go into my OTHER job today.
I talked with my GP about ADHD but he seemed distracted that day, which made me feel like I wasn’t important. He then said he’ll send me to a lady in town that specializes in ADHD and will test me, but that won’t be till after the New Year. So now I’m stuck. Life sucks. My decisions suck. I want to do nothing more than to just lay in bed and play videogames all day but no, I have to “advance my career” and “pay back student loans.”
This sucks. Please help.
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ADHD
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Do you sometimes think, about weather you just sent that message or not on Messenger for example?
I sometimes experince that I’m not sure I send just sent that message and get totally worried.
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OCD
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Hi, I'm 19M, i finally managed to book an appointment and thursday i have my first appointment with a psychiatrist and I'm scared that she won't diagnose me out of prejudice or because i won't be able to show any signs of adhd because I'm so used to hide them, here in Italy adulthood adhd isn't really a thing either, i had to go through various center to finally someone who at least wrote it in their site , do you guys have any suggestions?
Thanks everyone
Sorry for the bad English, not my first language.
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ADHD
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Does Adderall help with rumination/thought loops?
Hello. I am a Male(19 years old). Who suffers from ADHD. And I’ve been dealing with a serious issue regarding my mental health. So back in April, I started having issues with ruminating over my past mistakes and actions that I feel guilt over doing. I know those things don’t matter and don’t have an effect on me today because I am a changed man. But I’m starting to get stuck on these things, ruminate on them, and have irrational thoughts regarding the situation.
Can Adderall help me with this?
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ADHD
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>People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) tend to have elevated levels of a biomarker called glucocorticoid receptor–FKBP51 protein complex. Fear-conditioned mice also have higher levels of the GR-FKBP51 protein complex.
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>A new study of mice with PTSD-like symptoms suggests that using another peptide (TAT-GRpep) to disrupt the GR-FKBP51 protein complex blocks the encoding and recall of fear-based memories and prevents fight, flight, or freeze responses.
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>...
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At this stage, studies on targeting the GR-FKBP51 complex to treat or prevent PTSD are still in their early infancy. Much more research is needed to know if peptides that stop fight, flight, or freeze behaviors in fear-conditioned mice work the same way in humans who have experienced severe trauma.
[psychologytoday.com](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/202001/would-you-take-pill-wiped-away-fear-based-memories)
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ptsd
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what do you do if something you thought was just an intrusive thought actually happens in real life?
now it’s just torturing me day and night. i cut off all my friends because i’m convinced i’m no good and harmful to other people.
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OCD
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Today has been a day where 10/10 times I put my phone down, it walks off and hides somewhere else so I can't find it.
I check every place I would normally put it or be sitting and it's either never there and in some obscure place, somewhere I forget exists or always the last room I have left to check.
I got a tiny bit huffy earlier because it must have been at least the 8th time today I've had to really march around the flat and search for my phone. It's annoying because it delays my procrastination time when I have to keep doing a little phone-manhunt every half hour.
Although, I did managed to find my keys with no issues today so that's a bonus
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ADHD
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Potentially Triggerwarning, please be careful!
Hey everybody, I hope everybody is doing the best they can during these troubled times. I want to warn potential readers that this is discussing something like "sensorimotor obsessions breathing" that I seem to have developed? I'm still not quite sure, it may be stress or anxiety or all of the above.
About my situation:
I live in Sydney, Australia, I'm 27 years old. Before the pandemic hit, very few times has this happened throughout my life as a kid, but never as an adult until covid-19 impacted us when respiratory was on everybody's news channel. Sometimes when I used to lay down in bed as a child my mind would slip into thinking about swallowing, coughing, or breathing. I've never encountered all of these happening at once, and thankfully I'm not suffering that fate currently either.
If I focused on those hard enough, my swallowing would become difficult, almost as if I'm afraid that I'll forget how to properly allow the saliva/food to go down without choking me. If I thought about coughing, my chest would actually tighten after several minutes, forcing me to have to start coughing to relieve myself. If I thought about my breathing, I guess I would manually override it and my breathing would feel completely in my hands. These normally would only linger for a few minutes until I would just snap out of those brief occurences. (As a kid)
When the coronavirus happened, I was working for a 5-star hotel in Sydney, one of the hotels that acquired quaratine guests early on. To make this part short, I was let go before the Job Keeper came into effect, so I was one of the now many signing up for JobSeeker as an unemployed citizen. The period I had to wait before being confirmed of letting go took a total of 6 weeks, and during these 6 weeks (in April 2020 was when it was first mentioned to me that I might be let go), I was becoming a lot more insecure and on edge and I guess anxious about my future.
Then one night before I was confirmed to be let go from my hotel job, it struck me. I was laying in bed just like I described prior as a child, and my mind fixated on my breathing all of a sudden. I felt like my life was ending, It kept me awake for hours, and hours, and as I let my partner sleep my heart seemed to be racing. I was so concerned of my safety that I was breathing in and out every second or very close to that, I even remember noticing that my mind no matter what I tried to think about, just kept reminding me "Hey, you need to breathe!".
Honestly I couldn't even concentrate on my phone when I resorted to that on the first night, as I couldn't sleep and I was wide awake trying anything to ensure I was safely getting oxygen. I was so terrorized by this that If I read anything to do with "breathing" subtitles or on movies people would mention anything to do with breathing, or anywhere around me I would start to feel immediately pressured to breathe in and out manually and this can still haunt me time to time.
It's currently been almost a year and every night I cannot sleep without this occuring to me, albeit to a lesser extent it has waned over the last 6 months to "Meh, I know it's going to happen" as a way to make it not kick me into overdrive each night but there's still that discomfort when trying to sleep.
Early on last year after this invaded my life, I seemed to cope whenever I was sucking on Anticol so I'd literally be buying packs after packs in Woolworths or Coles. Imagine every hour of the first 4-6 months of sucking on those trying to find some comfort. I was addicted to them because it was somehow allowing me to stop thinking about my breathing during the day (although it didn't always work), cause when this first happened.. it was bad to the point I fell behind on all sleeping schedules I had when working.
Additionally, I couldn't concentrate or have the ability to just relax during the day so this was terrorizing me not just during night time but also every hour of the day.
Presently It's really only impacting my night time, when I go to bed even if the breathing somehow didn't affect my day whatsoever, It would just immediately invade my mind as I got into my bed and I would have to rub this "chest ointment" to get me to feel a bit more relaxed as I applied to my chest.
I have seen 2 GPs last year when this was really bad, and neither of them really had any guidance for me to try to alleviate my situation besides recommending using a bag to breathe into whenever I felt like it got worse, which didn't help since I was in a constant state of thinking about my breathing anyways so I quickly dropped trying this method.
I've tried talking to myself about not caring because "my breathing is autonomous and it doesn't require my brain to focus on it", this unfortunately didn't help. I've tried to do things productively on my computer with a few marginal successes here and there when it comes to my daily routines early on last year, nowadays I can be more productive during the day, but it activates during night time.
And because whatever I do at my daily routine doesn't seem to be helping my night breathing issue, I'm stuck not knowing how or what I can do.
So I'm begging anybody that might have had this to give me any suggestions or advice as I'm literally fed up with this shit ruining my life.
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OCD
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A few months ago a mouse was crawling around our garage because it just got done eating some poison. I was doing laundry today and my last load was a big blue blanket that I have, as I took it out of the dryer, one side of the blanket fell towards the ground, I don’t know if it made contact with the ground or not, I checked back and “reenacted” me taking my blanket out and I saw that it was pretty close to the ground, but I don’t know if it touched the ground when I first took it out originally. I don’t want to have the germs of the mouse to go onto my clean blanket or any germs from the ground. Am I overreacting?
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OCD
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I’m a minor still in high school. I try to help my mom. But it can be hard. I struggle with my own mental health. My moms doing better now, but I used to make our food. I used to watch her get ready for bed as she was only scared of messing up something. Even if she got right out of the shower. She used to ask me questions all the time still does actually. We have to plan out how to clean cause we can’t do trash and do laundry for example. That would require two separate showers. I try to help but often are anxieties work off of each other. At worst I’ve had thoughts of crushing her skull in or committing suicide. Usually only brief flashes during specific emotional moments. Anyways my mom is improving so maybe I should’ve asked this long ago. But hey later is better than never. But how can I help my mom better? Also any tips on controlling my anger? She’s a single mom and I’m an only child I fell as though that’s also some good information.
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OCD
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do you guys feel this way too?
i feel like this sometimes, and when i try to watch anything or do anything to distract myself it doesn't work
it's like there's nothing interesting anywhere (or my mind think so) and i get super anxious about it
i feel that it always happens at the end of my hyperfixations
and this messes me up for real for real
cause i kinda use my hyperfixations to help me do the things i need without getting super bored or distracted
and when im on this state of not having anything to fix into, i get anxious and upset at everything
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ADHD
|
So I was raised in a cult and was physically and sexually abused as a child. I’m also a flight paramedic on a helicopter and a few years ago, 4 months after I got back from the Middle East on a contract assignment I lost my partner, my pilot, and nearly a good friend when my helicopter crashed (I was not on board). Ever since the crash, shit got crazy for me and I was diagnosed with CPTSD. The stress of the crash was a catalyst and all my trauma from childhood, my job, and the Middle East came screaming to the surface with nightmares, flashbacks, disassociation, and anything would set me off into violent rages. I mean 0-60 in a flash. I’ve been working with my therapist and working towards EMDR but I guess I need some sort of imaginary box to lock up and store the bad shit. My therapist said that I need to imagine a safe place to store this stuff where I can recall it and safely place it back in the “box” when I’m done with working on it in EMDR. my problem is that this imaginary box is hard for because visualizing this and working it the way she wants me to work with it doesn’t seem to work. Do any of you have experience with this and can give me advice....or even know what the eff I’m even talking about.....
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ptsd
|
I'm a 29 year old woman and I was diagnosed with Aspergers/high functioning autism at 8 years old. My friend is the same age but a month younger (I'm detail oriented lol). I've known her since we were 11. She's very kind and caring and we have fun together. But lately I'm feeling like she infantilizes me a little bit. She made an appointment for me last week to get my tires changed. It needed done but she should have at least consulted me first, or let me do it myself (I don't like making phone calls but I do it if it's important). It ended up falling on the same day and same time as my therapy appointment, so I had to reschedule at the last minute. It was important for me to go to therapy because I recently lost my job and my anxiety was in high gear.
My friend has also told me to break up with my boyfriend and find a better guy. She cussed him out over the phone and accused him of "taking advantage of a disabled adult" (he doesn't take advantage of me; he asks me to get things from the store here and there but he does favors for me too). My boyfriend and I have had some disagreements but we're both capable of apologizing to each other. I love and care about him and he's always saying he feels the same about me. I feel like maybe my friend focuses too much on the fact that I'm autistic. Yes I have struggled with social anxiety, sensory issues, and multitasking at work but overall I think I carry myself well. I don't get angry at her, I appreciate that she cares about me, she just has a tendency to overstep. Has anyone else had similar issues with a friend (or anybody for that matter)?
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aspergers
|
I had ERP therapy with my therapist today and he wanted me to create a list of positive things to say about my OCD. He wants me to read them to myself before I go to bed each night. I did not quite understand want he meant so he gave me an example. Like a thought is just a thought you don't have to act on it or I have been through this before and I made it through. Thought I would share in case others think it may be useful for them. One saying I read that I liked and wrote as one for me is that OCD is like a Dungeon that has many keys and one of those keys will set me free. Stay positive.
|
OCD
|
I've had a really shit luck with friends. The longest I've ever had someone I've considered a friend is two years, with the average being a few months. This is mainly due to my autism. Hard time with small talk, seeming like I have little empathy, not understanding others, wanting to be alone. I'm sure you all get the picture. It's disheartening and frustrating because the last few years I've been actually trying, yet I always hit a brick wall. Either I cant get past a few conversations or at some point I get burned out and ditch people. Since I've recently discovered I'm on the autism spectrum I've thought maybe that's the solution. Maybe if I'm trying with people already like me it will be easier for me to make a real and long connection.
So how do I meet more autistic people? Are there like sites? Chat rooms? I'd prefer online because verbally speaking and interacting isnt my strong suit and I live in an isolated area so any autistic meet up group there might be would be hours drives away.
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aspergers
|
///TW sexual abuse, rape
Hey there, so as the title says I need to vent and ask for advice. Earlier tonight my girlfriend and I had a very intense conversation and we eventually smoothed things over. Anyway after we calmed down we just started talking about random things and eventually we somehow ended up on my flashbacks. So my brain had blocked out these memories up until a few months ago when they were re-awakened. When I was a child I was raped by an adult guy. I can't remember who it was and I don't know if I'm just blocking it out. I get flashbacks to certain parts of the abuse. I won't go into detail so you guys don't have to get a mental picture. I know it's hard to think about. Anyway after she brought it up I then started to think about it and I needed to talk about what was on my mind. At first my girlfriend was okay which I was shocked by because this is a very touchy subject for her too. I started talking about nightmares I had of it and how it felt but then she said I had to stop because she couldn't handle it anymore, which I understand completely. Sometimes I can't talk about these things either so I tried to help her calm down and relax. But after she was okay I felt frustrated with her because she brought it up and made me think about it so I needed to talk about it and then she tells me to stop, and I have no one else to talk to about this other than my therapist who I won't talk to until Thursday. But now I feel extremely guilty and selfish because she was upset and now I'm frustrated. It just feels unfair and because I think its unfair I now feel really guilty. I don't know what to do. if you have read this far I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you all and I hope you all feel better.
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depression
|
These past 2 years my mental health has been on a sharp decline (and was already depressed prior) and I see a lot of others like me. I really want to reach out and lend an ear and maybe give some advice or assurance, but honestly it just makes me feel hypocritical. I have no energy or confidence to do so anymore and it makes me feel really guilty. I find that I tend to guilt myself no matter what situation I put myself in though.
Does anyone else ever feel this?
|
depression
|
I have harm OCD. Specifically towards kids. I keep ruminating by imagining a kid sleeping on a bed, and then trying to check whether I would be able to control myself from abusing the kid by making inappropriate contact with them.
As you would expect, doing this compulsion has only made my OCD worse.
Everytime I indulge in my compulsion, I imagine myself struggling to control my urges to abuse, and sort of stuck just a few inches away from the kid, unable to just get away.
One time, I got so frustrated that I just imagined myself letting go of my control and abusing the kid, which is certainly the moment that led to my OCD getting this bad.
Now, the obvious way to solve my OCD is to stop the rumination. And believe me, I am the one who wants to do that the most.
-THE PROBLEM: is that I am deathly afraid that should I ever actually come across "a kid sleeping on a bed", I would give in to my compulsion and possibly snap (like in my imagination) and make inappropriate contact with the child.
This problem makes me return to doing my compulsion to make sure that even if I end up ruminating in real life with a real kid, I will not harm them.
One more thing; whenever I ruminate, I try to make my imagination as real as possible by placing an imaginary kid on my bed and then checking my control. This has stripped me of the way I used to assure myself before by telling my brain that I would not do such a thing in reality.
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OCD
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