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I’m of the opinion that Machiavelli was an Aspie. Definitely had sociopathic tendencies but the general nature of his philosophy is self preservation and ascension with an emphasis of ascension being relative to the person. His eye for societal detail translates more towards an individual on the spectrum than it does with someone on the antisocial spectrum. Also, it’s entirely possible to be both on the ASD spectrum and be a sociopath.
Obviously I could be missing key information here but I’m curious of anyone else have thoughts on this philosopher or any others that may or may not be regarded to have a mental or developmental condition?
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aspergers
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I literally don't know what my personality is or how I'm feeling most of the time and I'm trying to figure out if it's a PTSD thing or something else. My trauma continued ages 8 through 16 or something, so that's why I'm thinking maybe it's why I'm so bad at self-awareness? But I don't know, does anyone else experience this?
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ptsd
|
So basically!
There's a pretty heavy chance that I'm bi. Like any kind of bi. Romantic or sexual. I had a crush on a girl (even though it was one time, still a crush, and also I'm a girl), have dated two ladies, have been attracted to girls multiple times, etc.
​
But the thing is that after I figured that out I kinda just forgot about it and found like.... two or three people attractive for a few years. But during quarantine, I was back in the "time to question me a sexuality" which ended with "oh right I'm just straight up bi I don't need to do this I already know". Then I started finding more girls attractive but I feel like that was partially because I was noticing it more because I remembered about the bi thing and partially because I'm a teenager. You do the math on that last one.
​
So I got comfy with the bisexuality, bought myself a bi flag, joined the GSA in school when it started again, etc. Things were fine but it was the fragile sort of fine that could be broken by anything, like for example my mom saying "hey are you sure that you're not misinterpreting these feelings? not everything is gay" when I told her that I found my ex-gf attractive and then bam I was crapping myself again.
​
It really doesn't help that I've experienced Trans OCD before, so-. What if it's not real? What if it's just my brain? Groinal responses are real as fuck, just look at my user flair I should know. Also, sexuality is fairly fluid so sometimes I'm more into girls and sometimes I'm more into guys. It also doesn't help that I really don't want to date anyone right now and don't get crushes often (mostly because my brain has been occupied with one dude for like 2 years now but even before then they were fairly few and were just dudes until I was 11), so I really can't tell if it's some kind of like... OCD stuff or I'm not bi.
​
What does this sound like to y'all? Thanks for reading, even if you don't know about this stuff.
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OCD
|
So warning, I’m currently severely depressed and angry at the world. This might become an incoherent mess.
I was feckin good. Always did my homework in school, got good marks, graduated uni and went straight to work. I did everything right. I was told by every adult in my life that if I did these things I would have the fucking life of Riley, never wantin for nothin.
I did everything right and all I have to show for it is a job that pays for shite, a damp, cold, mouldy flat and crippling debt that I will never be able to pay off. I don’t want any of it!
I don’t want to have to fight and struggle my entire feckin life only to finally be free of it in my old age when im too god damn broken and beat down by life to be able to enjoy anything! Why the fuck?! Is this really ok for you lads?! You look at the way the world is and think it’s normal?
My stomach twists and turns whenever I think about my future. Im 27 years old for fuck sake, am I just suppose to give me entire life away to the fucking machine? Sacrifice everything to be a cog? Why?! Why do I have to suffer so the already wealthy can become even wealthier? FUCK YOU.
We’re slaves. Every single one of us. We work and toil, sweat and bleed, all for them.
I would rather be dead. I don’t want to do it their way anymore. I don’t want to be a slave but if I stop I lose what little I have, I can’t eat, can’t have a roof, can’t stay warm, can’t survive. So my only option is to keep being a cog or fucking end it my way, on my terms, the only real freedom we have.
I’m obsessed with this line of thought, I can’t stop thinking about what life has in store for me for the next 70 years. I’m terrified. I don’t want to leave my flat, I’ve stopped talking to me mates, I’m in the worst mindset of my life and I can’t get out of it.
I would rather be dead.
Thanks for reading my rant.
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depression
|
I just started EMDR therapy last week, and this week has been a nightmare. I'm having nightmares (which I haven't had many issues with) and CONSTANT flashbacks. My dissociation was way worse yesterday than I think it's been in a few weeks. I literally don't remember most of the day. I've never actively wandered while dissociated, but my boyfriend said I started just wandering like I was lost. I'm scared to continue because we didn't even really tackle any heavy stuff in the session. I know that EMDR works for most people, but I've been warned that it isn't perfect for everyone. Should I try one more session and if it continues to get worse, hit the brakes?
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ptsd
|
Rent is going up. Tuition is going up. I already work full time so getting a second job is out of the question. I already tend to burn out with college and working. I wouldn't be able to take on another job. I can't make more because I don't have a degree. The American economy is just horrible. What's the point in living when all you can worry about is surviving?
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depression
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A few weeks or months i discovered i have it, for a long time of my life i prefered to be isolated in my own world with the things i love. I've a high difficult to make things i don't like and pay attention around the reality, it made me do stupid things that make me feel a idiot.
I can't read books, i can't pay attention on school, take iniciative to go find a job, i can't make so much friendships. I feel like just dumb. I don't know if the people around want make me meet their expectatives or i'm lazy sometimes.
Probably i'll delete it someday, but for now i just want answers for all this. Also sorry for the english, i wrote without translator.
Edit: Thanks for everyone who gave me tips and good message in general, also sorry for using the term "treat" i just wrote the text in a bad time.
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aspergers
|
Does anyone else get depressive during the holidays? Tomorrow is my first Thanksgiving single in the past 5 years. Found out my ex was a cheating whore. But I find myself afraid lost and confused. I don't have much friends to talk to about this stuff so I thought I'd come here.
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depression
|
I don't know where else to turn to cause I have no one else in my life to sit down and talk to about my personal feelings, so I figured I can at least share my thoughts here for anyone that's interested in reading.
Yesterday, my best friend reached out to me after 2 and a half months or so of needed space that she needed. It was the conversation I dreaded for so long and wish it never had to happen, but it did. She told me it'd be best for the both of us to move on in order for us to heal. It was the most gut punching feeling in the world, but I knew I had to respect her decision.
A little bit of backstory:
She and I used to date almost 5 years ago. Had the absolute best time of my life with her because she was essentially the girl of my dreams that I grew up envisioning. Hell, to this day I can say I haven't felt that happy since then. It was just so magical to me and it's the feeling that's not easily replicated but you can look back and confidently say that out of a million lifetimes, you wouldn't change it for anything else. The dating portion was a bit short lived, but in the amount of time I knew her beforehand, I was immediately captivated by her and I knew that she would turn out to be extremely special, alongside becoming my best friend as well. After we broke things up, past trauma from my previous relationship surfaced up. These were feelings of rejection, betrayal and distrust because the previous person had used me and cheated on me multiple times. Needless to say, I got tired of being stepped on and ended up pushing these feelings onto my best friend. Because of that, we argued a lot because I had assumed that the reason we broke up was because there was secretly another person, or that I was lied to all along, and that everything that we felt was a fluke. It got so bad that she decided she wasn't going to put up with it, and she called it quits. Right to the point where she said she never wanted to hear from me ever again. And that was that, she left. For a time I thought she'd be back, not realizing that I was being the toxic one. Weeks, months, and years passed. As it went on, things got worse for me. I missed her incredibly and felt so stupid that I put her through that. Not only was she gone as a partner, but she was gone as my best friend and it was the worst time frame of my life. Who would have thought that the best years of my life would be followed by the worst. Constant suicidal thoughts, little to no friends who were never close to me, a family who was completely oblivious to what I go through when I'm alone. Numerous deaths of friends and family that I cared for. It just went on and on.
Three and a half years later, and everything is still fresh in my head. There's attempted suicide attempts but something would always stop me. From my dad finding me crying and having to come up with a cover story about how I was dissatisfied with my college career choice (which was true but I used it to cover the fact that I was going to shoot myself), to deciding to live for my pets cause I knew they wouldn't be able to comprehend why I was no longer around, and to my neices who I wanted to see grow up. Eventually, I told myself that I'd like to atone for my wrongdoings, and reach out to people who I've hurt to try to fix my wrongs. I was so determined that I even reached out to the person who cheated on me because there were a few times where I also hurt her. Things went very well to the point where she also apologized for everything and we ended up being friends for a while until it was time to part ways again. And then around the same time, I knew I would have to confront my best friend again.
The time came and I wrote out what I wanted to say and I mentally prepared myself for whatever could happen. She could ignore it, read it and choose not to respond, disregard it and tell me to leave her alone, or accept it. Either way I just wanted to try and get my apology across. Turns out, she also had things to say. During these years, she was essentially in the exact same boat as me: going through life just thinking about one another and how bad we left off and how we didn't get to talk things out more. How negatively life has been for us since then. We talked the entire night well into the morning saying our apologies and all. At first I was prepared to still have to say goodbye again but it wasn't in the books, since we still wanted to talk again. Needless to say, we eventually became friends again and life was starting to become fruitful again. I knew we could never be partners again, at least at the moment, and I was okay with that. I was just so happy to make up and be in each other's lives again.
This was last year, and we basically became best friends again, talking everyday for hours on end and sometimes even twice a day. We shared everything together and I just felt so comfortable with her. Eventually, part of me started having feelings for her again and I knew it was something that I should keep at bay because I didn't want to mess things up. There were a couple instances where we did argue but it was nothing like the last big fight we had in the past. There were times where she would feel sad and I'd do everything in my power to cheer her up. From memes, video recommendations, video snapchats and long paragraphs telling her much she matters, you name it and it would always work. However, I noticed that whenever the tables were reversed, I wouldn't get the same treatment, just a couple of sentences and 'you'll be fine'. I'd get upset about it to the point where I'd talk to her about it and she would say that that's her way of comforting and to try not to take offense cause she was really trying. The negativity in me would assume it was bs and I'd get more upset. As more unfortunate events would happen to me outside of the friendship, more suicidal thoughts would fill my head and with her being my only friend, I thought I could talk to her about it since I've never opened up to anyone else. This was also a time that she started feeling sad that she wasn't in a relationship and didn't get to do couple stuff, and I happened to be feeling the exact same way, and I wanted to tell her how I felt in case there was anything that could blossom. Judging by the previous statement, you can kinda guess how that went (only single statements to comfort me after pouring my depressive feelings out). Anger on my side was too much. The past trauma from my last relationship sprung up again and just erupted to an argument. After that, I noticed she would dial down on talking to me : from everyday to every 3 days or so to about a week. She also started leaving me on read which never happened between us. On the times we did talk, she'd just say people change and that she was busy. I knew immediately that I screwed up big time and came to my senses on how an awful person I had been. It pained me to know that I didn't consider how all of this made her feel all because of my stupid insecurities. I tried apologizing one day and let her know how I felt about the whole ignoring me. Again, I made it about me and she exploded with rage until she said she needed space. I realized what I had done and decided it was probably for the best. There were a few attempts to reach out and apologize to her by sending her greetings for Halloween and Thanksgiving along with cat videos cause she would always send some to me and I knew how much she loved them. Each time, I got ignored and rightfully so because I was overstepping. This went on for almost 2 months and my insecurities got to me and I felt compelled to talk things out again. I didn't want her to be hurt anymore because of me so I sent her a snap that got ignored. Followed by two more explaining why I was reaching out. She only responded saying she wasn't ready to talk to me yet and in a way that sort of calmed me down because it sounded like she wasn't ignoring me in order to get away, but more so because she was thinking about our situation. I decided to stop interrupting her and told myself I wouldn't do anything until she reached out.
She reached out yesterday. And I was right, she had been thinking about our last argument. I immediately apologized for everything I had because I was so wrong about everything. She told me hoe hurt she was from everything and I told her that I wanted nothing more than help fix things and help her heal. I realized how toxic I was being and that everything my mind accused her of was completely untrue. She was always being honest with and didn't lie about anything. This negative aura in me clouded me so bad that I didn't realize she was hurting more than I was because of my stupidity. After a bit of talking, we finally accepted apologies, but she mentioned it'd be best if we parted ways. My heart absolutely sunk. Did I deserve that? Absolutely. But I still didn't want to hear that or have it happen. I didn't want to plead but I did want to make sure it was what she wanted and to see if there was anything I could do to influence her decision. She wasn't completely sure at first so I asked if we could stay up one last time, for old times sake. And we did.
Stayed up for hours, well into the morning like we first did when we reconnected. We put all the negativity behind us and just talked like we always did and for that moment, I felt the magic again. From talking about our lives since we last spoke, to our pets and family, to throwing jokes about my height and how her cats are kings, it was beautiful. But I knew deep down it wouldn't change the outcome. It was around 4 in the morning when she started getting tired and I asked if she still wanted to go through with parting, to which she said yes. It hurt her just as much as me to hear her say that and I knew then that it was all my fault. Out of respect for her, I accepted and we said our goodbyes. I had never had to say a goodbye to a living friend like that. It pained me throughout the entire ordeal. She said it was goodbye forever but that there was always a chance that life could make us cross paths again. In a way I was okay with it because her hurt was all because of my negligence and fuck ups, and she didn't deserve any of that. But on the other hand, I wasn't ready to let go. She was my only and best friend, the girl of my dreams that I could never have. The one person who was always there for me and always wanted to talk to me more than anything. And I screwed it all up. I wanted the opportunity to help right my wrongs together, but I didn't want to mess anything else up. I took the opportunity to express my feelings for her and let her know how much I loved her and that no matter the circumstances, I would always choose her.
As soon as I sent the last chat, I completely broke down. I hadn't felt pain like that in the longest and it ultimately felt like a completely new pain. Something I never want to experience again. I wanted to numb myself a bit and took some sleeping pills that basically kept me out of commission for about 12 hours. I always loved the way a room looked and felt on a cool, overcast day. All blue and gloomy but relaxing. Today I learned that it's not always the best. I went to the living room for a bit and when I got back to my room, it was just so dark and full of memories of when she visited that I just couldn't bring myself to step in. The numbing wasn't working and I stood there and just let myself deteriorate right then and there for the rest of today. While sulking, I decided to write this out cause I have no one.
I'm sorry for the long post, I'm sure everyone won't read it or won't read through it all but to those that do: please don't ever put your friends down, even if it feels like they're not helping. They truly care for you and don't ever deserve to feel any pain directed towards them. Learn to recognize that us ourselves can truly be the toxic ones that burn down our own bridges and connections. All that does is make everything infinitely times worse and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. You are loved, and I love every single one of you here. Please don't make my mistakes.
Thank you
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depression
|
I am widowed I have PTSD and after I received my husband's life insurance I realised that I am more vulnerable than I thought.
Turns out my estate lawyer stole the majority of my husband's life insurance. 130k I was supposed to receive. I was sent 69k and billed 24k which I said from the 69. The rest I'm told was the fees taken by superannuation and she sent me a document with he break down on her letter head. No superannuation docs and has failed to reapond when I asked to send me itemised bills it's been 2 years.
Turns out after hiring a new lawyer and contacting the super company and getting their actual documents I was scammed by this dodgy NSW lawyer. 134000K was my portion of the life insurance that I was to get the whole amount of it went to her trust and as to date my new lawyer has filed with the nsw law commissioner for itemised billing as she's now trying to claim the missing 70 or 80k isn't missing and those were her fees for handing an application for letters of administration...
I thought for two years I was going insane cause of this woman.
But it's fucked me up really bad. I can't trust anyone.
But also people are legit trying to scam me.
I was abused by my husband's family and even assaulted by his brother and have a hard time saying no ever since.
Like someone legit asked me for 3k and I for some reason am scared about letting people down and can't say no or say that I'm upset about something and legit handed 3k in cash over to someone I knew would not pay me back but my body and mind is on auto and just did it and I was right they disappeared.
Anyone else have this type of problem what worka therapy wise
Please I can't live like this any longer. I'm about to get my portion of the estate and things like this are already happening again just today this happened
Am I the asshole for not loaning money to a friend who wants 50k to open a cat cafe in India, after the bank's rejected their request for a personal loan. (Friend is currently unemployed)
Facts: friend is unemployed and was rejected by bank for a loan. We live together and apartment is in his name. We met through my friend who also lives with us. Friend went from quickly asking to being a bit intimidating getting angry at the fact the estate settlement is taking so long and said what date will I get money cause he wants to know when I'm going to transfer him 50k (I never agreed to loan him the money).
Yesterday I text them asking for the documents about his business plan and structure to have a flick through, And asked them to please not ask me for a date again as I need more info about the investment first.
Note: they'd been hassling me daily and still hadn't provided me any more information apart from that they were opening a Japanese Cat Cafe in India with their sister. and I still haven't settled my husband's estate let alone even set myself up yet,
Their response: They cracked the shits and I was told I can not return to the apartment again and my friend and other housemate will be allowed in to collect my things this week but he too will have to move out next week apparently
TLDR: can't say no or try to please people and it's ruining my life help me
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ptsd
|
Earlier this year I briefly (for a few weeks) had the sensation that my organs were rotting. I looked this up and read a lot about schizophrenia, psychosis, delusions, and so forth. I became obsessed with my own experiences and symptoms. Later I went to my psychiatrist who eventually convinced me to start taking antipsychotics and was worried about psychosis. She said I had changed.
I went back to school out of state and had to go to another doctor, who also said I had a thought disorder and was worried I had schizophrenia. I'm now in a program that specializes in early psychosis intervention. I'm still on antipsychotics and the doctor at this program thinks I had a psychotic episode.
I'm completely convinced I made up all of my symptoms by obsessing. At no point was I afraid of psychosis, but I tend to have obsessions about finding the truth. I think in trying to find the truth I created a psychotic illness believed by three separate doctors.
I think my medication, and treatment in general, is reinforcing this obsession the way a compulsion would. Recently I was put on a stimulant to try to help what my doctor says is either negative symptoms or depression, and because he warned me it could increase positive symptoms I'm starting to obsess again. The medication is creating positive symptoms not through pharmacology but because it reinforces the idea that I'm psychotic.
I'm so desperate to be free of this obsession that I stopped my medication today. I know it will cause me to obsess more because I'll be looking for the return of my "symptoms" that were controlled by the medication, but I feel like it's the only way to escape the obsession.
Thanks for reading. I'm mostly venting but if anyone has advice I would appreciate it. I plan to talk to my doctor and therapist when I next see them.
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OCD
|
I'm not sure how to elaborate my situation, I 've got friends but when I'm with them i just fake the smiles and no one notice, when i go home i feel like a piece of crap.
I loved someone for 8 years and never got something back, i ruined every possibile relationship because i think that i' m a shitty person and I deserve to be alone.
Every night before going to sleep i put in my hearphones and listen to some ASMR girlfriend shit to try feeling something.
At this point I'm just hoping to die by a disease or a traffic incident, can't make family sad.
Sorry to bother you guys.
Have a good night
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depression
|
I don’t know why that one *single* sentence that they said triggered me to even write that stupid post! Ugh!! A few months later and I’m just so pissed at me for even fucking up everything! I want to bang my mf head against the wall!!
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depression
|
Almost all my compulsions have disappeared and i only care about one thing now which is something totally paranormal. I have convinced my self there is a curse or something that haunts me everywhere and its been on my things. I have to clean everything with alcohol or specific soap to feel better. Its like contamination fear but i fear something totally fake and invisible. Has anyone experienced snything similar?
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OCD
|
TW: D/ath/intrusive thoughts mentions.
Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts or feelings that I'm either gonna d*e today or I'm gonna pass in my sleep. It happens whenever I feel under the weather, or have a headache. I get panicked and have these thoughts like it's for sure gonna happen like I can tell the future or something lol it's really annoying especially when I'm just trying to get better and sleep a bit and just wondering if this happens to anyone else?
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OCD
|
If I die and find out that there's no God, I'll laugh - because I've always suspected that God doesn't exist.
I've used my religion like a drug over the years. Every time I take a hit I feel better for just a little while.
How does that work?
Well, I use it to regularly fool myself into thinking that things will get better. (And eventually they always do, but of course they always become shitty again.)
As Christians we're lead to believe that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for us.
Sometimes when I feel low, my faith makes me believe that there will be a better day, and so I wearily go on, telling myself that my low feelings are only temporary and that God has better days in store for me.
Maybe God's not real. Maybe it's all a big lie. *But when you have depression, it's incredibly useful to have something that makes you believe that better days are in store and your misery is only temporary.* Even if it's blind faith, its one of the things that keep me going, until it won't anymore.
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depression
|
Hello everyone,
About a month ago I experienced a relapse of my OCD symptoms, specifically my fear of developing schizophrenia. I was able to get back in touch with a psychiatrist and ironically they prescribed me 5 mg of Abilify (an antipsychotic) in addition to my 20mg of Lexpro. Has anyone taken Abilify in addition to an SSRI? And did it work for you? Please let me know, and thank you!
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OCD
|
i don't know the proper sub for this... but i am sick. like, physically sick. i went to the emergency room and got checked out, they gave me antibiotics and I'm taking them as directed but not getting better. in fact I've got new symptoms. i don't want to use the ER as a free clinic, and if i need to be admitted to the hospital...
sites anyone know how i can get some way to pay? gold card or something? i have no insurance, my bank account was hacked so i have no money, but i am very sick and need to be treated, and need medical proof that I'm not playing hookie from school.
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ptsd
|
I've been doing absolutely horribly these past several months. Obviously you have the pandemic, which has effectively derailed my whole life at a time when I was finally starting to feel a little better than I had in many years, but then there's a whole bunch of other things going on.
* I've been on permanent disability for a long time due to what I now realize is an undiagnosed case of ADHD-PI. The cost of living is *exploding* where I live: food, electricity, rent, everything is going through the roof, yet monthly payment increases were frozen a few years ago by the government. I don't get paid enough to make ends meet every month, and I am often forced to ask my parents for help, something I really hate doing.
* I've been feeling really depressed recently. It's very much an up-and-down thing: sometimes I feel more energized and motivated to get a few things done, and sometimes I can't even push myself out of bed. I derive very little pleasure from anything these days. For the first time in many years, I have been grappling with suicidal thoughts.
* I think I might have permanently sabotaged a good friendship. A few months back, I came on too strongly with an internet friend multiple times despite being asked to tone things down. Much of this was borne of severe anxiety—however, I have not been soft on myself about what transpired. I keep telling myself that she will *never* want to be friends with me again, that mental illness is *not* an excuse, that nobody cares why I acted the way that I did, that I did something *seriously* wrong, that this scenario is just going to repeat itself again and again until I recognize that *I* am the bad factor in everything, etc. I keep imagining myself repeatedly attempting to contact her and being threatened with a restraining order or police action.
* Pursuant to the above point, I am ***always*** ashamed of myself. I feel that I am not a good person, and that my personal shortcomings are more glaring, more numerous, and more serious than those of ordinary people. No matter how hard I try to do the right thing, to be empathetic and understanding, I always seem to come up short in the end. Normal people don't cause the same problems for others that I cause, and at nowhere near the same frequency that I do.
Those are just a few things that have been going on in my life. I'm feeling so much worse lately than I have in a long time. I'm seeking help for it, but it's going to take a while before I am able to see somebody. I just... wish this pain would end.
|
depression
|
Every time I get a job, I put my whole heart into it and I go full force. Then my old neighbor, PTSD creeps in and starts messing with me. There are a few people that I work with who are highly narcissistic and extremely toxic individuals. I feel like garbage when I work with them most of the time. Not only that, but I just became manager, so I now have the added stress of delegating duties and dealing with it when people don't want to do it or want to be super hostile about the changes I'm trying to put in. Added on to that, the place that I work won't fire anyone because it's so hard to get new employees. So Im basically working at a place that's kinda set up for failure. I have an extreme sensitivity for people who are narcissistic or toxic, their presence really bothers me and triggers ptsd and fear in me. I've put a lot of research into narcissism and toxic people after being hurt in the past. That's how I know the signs and the red flags to look out for. Basically, my ptsd has been triggered by one of these narcissistic people..
Yesterday I became extremely emotionally distressed and was having extreme panic. I finally got to go home and tried my best to relax, but couldn't, and ended up throwing up a few times. Today was my day off and I woke up in a state of anxiety and panic, not the usual relaxation feeling I would feel in my day off. I have gone through this cycle several times at several other jobs and I hate that it keeps occurring. I hate that this is what I do in my life. I want so badly to overcome it but I don't really know how. I don't know how to keep going back to the job and deal with the toxicity and the dissociation that I'm experiencing. The habit of narcissists to constantly talk AT you makes it so much worse for me to be able to calm down at work..
Anyone feel up to giving me some advice, coping strategies. I have a therapist by the way and we haven't reached the step where she gives me coping skills.
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ptsd
|
This is an update from the post that I have made a week ago. During when my posted my post on why I think I have POCD, I continue to struggle with my urges keep getting the better of me and my mind is convincing me to masterbate even though I don't want to. I end up feeling guilty,depressed, and end up hurting myself every time I let these urges taking over my life and my mind convincing me that I masterbated to the thoughts that keep popping up in my head.
Is there anyone can DM me that is going through the same situation as I am?
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OCD
|
It's 6am, I woke up at 4am and cannot sleep, despite going to sleep after midnight. My mind is rn full speed ahead, thinking about everything and everything and everything. Again.
|
aspergers
|
Does anyone with OCD feel super sensitive at work and take everything said by employers and colleagues to heart?? Constantly feeling the need to express yourself, check in with people, get reassurance on different things, etc.? Please tell me I'm not the only one struggling in the workplace with hyper sensitivity.
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OCD
|
I conquer it every day.
I love words. They help me understand and process the world. So, hopefully these words will help some of you.
You are bigger, stronger, and more resilient than OCD.
No matter how big it is, you are bigger for it exists in you.
No matter how strong it is, you are stronger because you survive every day.
No matter how long you’ve had it, you are more resilient because you existed before OCD, you will exist after OCD and even if you have it till the day you die you are MORE than OCD and exist outside of it.
OCD is a bitch, but you are not OCD.
I don’t suffer from OCD, because every day I choose to win. Some days big, some days small. Some days a win is waking up on time.
Some days a win is cooking a meal.
Some days a win is taking a shower.
Some days a win is going 5 minutes feeling “normal”. And if I can feel normal for 5 minutes, maybe tomorrow I can feel normal for 6. And maybe, just maybe I can improve a little every single day.
Some days winning is feeling like you lost the day, but still choosing to try again tomorrow.
You guys are champs!!
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OCD
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I get angry at that person and abusive because they indirectly made me have the worst intrusive thoughts of my life. Did anyone of u experience the same thing?
I don't want to make OCD my excuse but I really can't control when I get angry because of these thoughts, it's like I change into a completely different person. Sane me could never do that and I even say that's such a stupid thing for me to obsess over.
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OCD
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I'm straight.
Those two words, I've said to myself for three years now every single day.
I don't want to be gay.
And now I just let myself jack off to that kind of porn, with no fight.
Because what's the point? I'll jack off to it in the next two weeks when I get the urge again.
I can get off to women, but it's this.. curse.
That throws me arwy into jacking off to that kind of porn and after I finish, the fog clears and I feel like shit for not getting myself out of it.
Do you understand?
I put up no fight in resisting the urge to jack off to gay porn ads, so I let it happen, and after I finish and the fog clears from my head.
Then I feel like shit for not stopping it.
You can't win with HOCD I'm telling you, all I want is for this urge to go away.
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OCD
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I know it can't always be puppies and sunshine, but man, i hate these days. Forgot that i already took my medicine(luckily i was smart enough to only add half another pill to see if i felt any different), got overwhelmed by the task pile in front of me, still got distracted by everything, and i also felt pretty shitty because i was aware of it and still couldn't find the motivation to push through (even with my superdose of adderall). The worst part is that i'm supposed to send just one fucking email, but i'm too afraid because of the repercussions. I know my fears are irrational and the only way to find out is to just do it, but it really feels like pandorra's box. I am overthinking this, and i WILL send it today(i told myself i'm obliged to), but it could have been so much easier to day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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ADHD
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How can I help myself get better when everything is numb. I can’t get myself to eat healthy consistently and it’s destroying my body even further.
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depression
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Did any adults try Play Attention ?
" [Play Attention](http://www.playattention.com/) is a computer-based attention-training system that measures brain activity using an arm band, and provides visual and auditory feedback in a game-like environment designed to hone certain skills. "
​
http://www.playattention.com/
​
I would love to try but there isn't much research for adults and it is on expensive side and it is mandatory to book at least dozen sessions.
Thoughts?
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ADHD
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This is a serious post and would appreciate non-christians to respect it please.
I'm having a really difficult time doing Christianity. I can't seem to get to reading my bible and praying unless I absolutely have too due to external factors such as when it's my turn to lead assembly at the Christian school I work at or when I'm at small group and we are praying...
It is extremely difficult for me to maintain a good relationship with God and I always have had this struggle with not being able to physically see God. The "out of sight out of mind" kind of thing. And i've been beating myself up over this because I really want a good relationship with Jesus.
I've had miraculous prayers answered in the past and have seen miracles happen in front of my own eyes and even prayed for someone with a broken knee and the lady walked away without her crutches... CRAZY things!!! This is why I can't deny the reality of God (even if you, the reader, does not believe in God). and believing in God is great, but I want to KNOW God so much more and spend so much more time in His presence and in His Word and praying, *but I just don't do it.*
Is there anyone out there who can relate???
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ADHD
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i’m not trying to get diagnosed or anything, i just have no idea if i have ocd or something similar.
i’m 16 and pretty much my whole life i’ve had like these little things i do that i feel like i HAVE to do. usually it’ll be things like if i tie one shoe, i have to tie the other (even if that means untying and retying) or if i look over one shoulder i have to look over the other, and it’s even for smaller things like i have to chew on both sides of my mouth, if i stretch one finger i have to stretch all of them, if i bump my knee on a table i have to go back and bump my other knee too, and so many other things like that. sometimes it’s so annoying though because it’s hard to deal with in public or like if one of my friends jokingly punches one of my shoulders, i feel this overwhelming urge to punch my other shoulder, but then i also have to punch something else with the hand i didn’t punch with or if i step on a crack with one foot i have to with the other too and it’s overall just so frustrating. it’s even when i touch something, it sometimes feels like i touched it “wrong” and i have to go back and keep touching it until it feels “right”.
growing up and still my parents always say stuff like “omg he is so ocd about things 😂😂” but they don’t understand ocd and they’re only referring to my perfectionism i guess ?? like i get a little annoyed if some things aren’t straight and things like that. i never really thought about this as ocd since it doesn’t really affect me AT ALL it’s just slightly annoying but these sorts of things don’t really bother me.
additionally, i guess i sort of struggle with intrusive thoughts but it’s nothing serious. like i constantly get thoughts like “you’re so worthless you might as well kill yourself” and like if i’m on the road i’ll think for a second to run in front of traffic and things like that. it doesn’t cause me any anxiety or paranoia or anything like that, which is why i didn’t think it was really linked to ocd.
none of it is bad enough to where it impacts my life negatively, it’s just annoying and inconvenient but my family has always laughed at me for like the little things i do that aren’t “normal”. i have no idea if i have ocd or anything similar (also, i’ve never been diagnosed with any mental disorder in my life) but i figured i’d ask to see what other people think. i apologize for making this so long, and i’m so sorry if this isn’t even ocd. if you read the whole thing and reply, thank you and i appreciate it so much.
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OCD
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In this lonely life that all people with asperger have, we must acknowledge when out of nowhere we get one friend that can make our life better.
I have known Gabriel since we were 12 years old, now we are 43 years old; it has been a while.
He is an entrepreneur, and now in our country (Ecuador) the economy is really bad, he is still fighting, he is not willing to give up.
He has a lot of patience with me and I am grateful for that.
Once upon a time, we went to a financial institute searching for information about credits for people with disabilities. It happens that as always they give money only at people who don’t really need money, what a disappointment.
We were looking for a taxi to go back to his house and we were on the left side of the street. I looked at the right side of the street and saw that busses pick and leave passenger at the right side of the street. I suggested my friend that we should go to the right side of the street, he agreed.
Later I saw one after another taxi stopping on the left side of the street to pick and leave passengers, and I told that to my friend, and he said “yes, I know”.
We went to the left side of the street again and I noticed that even besides of the disappointment of the financial institution he never got angry with me because of my mistake, he was patient with me all the time.
I am grateful for him, he is such a good friend.
Right now I am working for a government institution, but I dream of using my gifts (teaching) to make a better life, probably I will have to go to a first world country because in here things look bad.
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aspergers
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I finally set up some digital well-being options on my android phone (not sure what the Apple equivalent is). I have time limits on certain apps (like Reddit...) and a bedtime mode. I'm also starting to tinker with the focused work mode.
Guys.
I'm sleeping better. At midnight my phone switches to grayscale, and it's enough to throw me off whatever rabbit hole I'm chasing and actually go to sleep.
If I'm abusing Reddit, a little banner comes up telling me when I have 10/5/1 minute left. Then it shuts down and no more Reddit for me today. I often end up not using the whole time.
I tried the focused work mode for just 30 minutes yesterday. I'm embarrassed how many times I forgot and checked my phone in that 30 minutes (calls and texts and such can still go through, but it disables most apps and notifications).
It's been dawning on me lately how much of an issue my phone has become since the pandemic started (I live alone, so I just basically gave myself over to digital addiction during the lockdowns). I haven't been sleeping well because I lie awake looking at my phone. My productivity at work has been poor because I keep looking at my phone. I'm not doing things I want to do with my time because I spend so much time on my damn phone.
What I've really noticed?
When my phone is in one of those modes... I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. Whatever random thought I wanted to chase down in the night, either I can wait til morning or (usually) I forget about it. Once the option isn't available to me, it's surprisingly easy for me to shrug and do something else (like... sleep).
So, I know those options have been tossed around here before. But seriously. If you're struggling with your phone use, set that shit up. It helps.
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ADHD
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I grew up with a Latin immigrant family where mental struggles are highly stigmatized and invalidated.
I've been called, Lazy, Cold, Shy, Weird, all my life. I've always had intense "hobbies" that my family would always get frustrated when I never followed through with anything.
Stims in childhood that I thought were normal until adulthood were/are nail-biting, skin picking, eye rubbing.
Fast forward to my adult self finally having the resources to afford therapy because I always knew deep down, that I was not like my peers. I was diagnosed with ptsd, depression, and anxiety. Even with treatment of those disorders I continued to have progressing crippling social anxiety, fear of speaking in public, to the point where id be willing to fail assignments in grad school. Not to mention, the frustration of failed relationships and repeated arguments with other women as I am also into the same gender. Always ending up in the same discussion from women I dated, that I lack empathy, and am too blunt or mean. I just always thought most people lacked proper rational to think less with their feelings.
Moral of the story: I've always been on the spectrum yet my family, therapist, and closest relationships always blamed other things instead of looking at the signs. Why does this happen so much with women? and what can we do to change this?
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aspergers
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I feel as though I conjure up thoughts that seem way to complex/original/ exactly what could set me off or make me suspect there not originally mine. How can this be? It seems like bad thoughts I couldn't randomly project unless I wanted to or planed them. They also seem to be created with a subject that wasn't even on my mind recently, like it created something itself. I have a fear that its a demon(s) doing it.
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OCD
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I suffer from severe ADHD but i have long hair. (Not a good combination).
Like a little bit more of 2 months ago a big knot formed on the back of my head. I've been trying to detangle it but due to my ADHD i've been thinking I'll do it later and when I try to do it I don't handle frustration very well.
It has been like almost 3 months and the tangle is still there and It's even worse. I have 2 small dreadlocks in them like 1cm long.
I thought about going to a hair salon to get it done or something because it is too frustrating, buy maybe you have tips to detangle it.
Thanks very much:)
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ADHD
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Disagreements with my partner freak me out - had one yesterday. Nothing too horrific, just one of those things we have to work on and are doing so but I feel so uneasy about them. I know at face value that Disagreements are natural, but I just feel as though he’s going to turn around and do something hurtful or abusive or violent even though it probably didn’t even cross his mind.
The anxiety of things like that drives me crazy. Tight feeling in my throat, panicky, crying, unable to sleep, blaming myself even though it wasn’t necessarily anything that I should have taken blame for.
I just feel as though it’s so ingrained into me that I should be a victim, because being a victim and submissive won’t hurt as much as being loud and assertive - which is basically what I saw as a child who witnessed domestic violence on a weekly basic.
I so want to trust my partner but on the other hand, I’m waiting for the penny to drop and for him to stop being so nice. It’s a difficult place to be in.
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ptsd
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Does anyone have any success stories of being able to function well without medication? I've recently gone off medication and it feels as though my ability to get stuff done has gotten worse, though I don't know if it's because thinking that I can no longer function is demotivating me or it's because the medication actually made a difference. Is it possible to have ADHD and still do well in school without taking medication? How do I train myself get stuff done using just my willpower? I don't want to be dependent on the medication forever, especially if it turns out to be just a placebo, and I don't want to constantly have to worry about it no longer working and upping the dose, but I also want to actually be able to complete assignments on time. If anyone could give me some success stories I'd greatly appreciate it.
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ADHD
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I'm currently on 5mg of Focalin daily as prescribed and I'm not sure if that's affecting me but just in case it is, there's some context. For additional clarification, this hasn't really yet interfered with work or harmed me at all, so I'm mostly posting to talk about how this makes me feel.
So I have to be moving a lot in most cases, be it tapping my foot or pacing or tapping the desk with my fingers (which actually caused quite a bit of annoyance to other people as a child and it still causes it now). However, sometimes my mind rushes into overdrive a bit, and in response I do whatever I do faster and more aggressively to wear it out. This happens sometimes when, for example, a new game is announced that I'm excited for or there's a significant event in my life I just learned about. Sometimes though, it gets to the point where it hurts.
So I'm a junior in high school and despite most of school being a trudge sometimes I find exciting moments in unexpected places. A couple of days ago we talked about mental illnesses, and in particular, ADHD; I was to the point where I was practically shouting personal experiences and details to try to help others understand (the teacher encouraged it) because in that moment I just felt so passionate about it. I was moving much faster than usual but I found that the stimulation was so strong that it was actually straining me and it took a while for me to calm down.
Just yesterday, two events stimulated me to this degree: seeing a parade of elementary school kids in the greatest Halloween costumes (I go to a K-12 school), and doing a Kahoot in one of my classes. For some reason those mentally stimulated me so much that when I got to language arts and we had some free time to work, I was moving around as much as I possibly could without drawing the attention of everyone in the class. Not just that but I found I wasn't breathe properly, like I was desperately trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I wasn't in any danger and it's not as if I couldn't breathe but it was certainly unpleasant. Fortunately I did calm myself down by watching a video about synthesizers (music production is a personal passion of mine). The symptoms seemed to slow, so to me it was over.
Still though, I couldn't help but think in both of these moments, and sometimes in many other moments where this happens, why? Am I just that easily excitable? Does my medication have much effect? How relatively unusual or strong is this? I wonder if y'all have any thoughts on this experience. Thanks for listening, y'all, and have a nice day! :)
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ADHD
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My sister tells him to shut up. Tonight she asked “what is fucking wrong with you.” He’s only 9 years old. When she said that I just looked at her, appalled, not wanting to stand up for him for fear she’d get mad at me. He just laughs it off and says he’s used to it.
It’s so fucked up. His dad is in prison. He thinks he’s here in the state we live when really he’s all the way in Arizona (my sister doesn’t tell him the truth.)
I’m not sure if any of this is trauma for him but I’m pretty sure the way my sister speaks to him sometimes is verbal abuse. He’s a great kid, absolutely brilliant but sometimes he has behavioral issues. Idk for sure how he really feels, Idk if he’s going to be negatively affected in the future, but I’m just really triggered myself when I see how my sister talks to him because I have PTSD from my childhood and I just worry about him.
I’m not even sure this is really the place to share this. Not really looking for advice, I have a therapist I’ll talk to this about, but for now I wanted to get it off my chest.
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ptsd
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Sometimes I randomly feel the need to punch something. Mostly in class I just feel like I have to punch my desk. It happens on both days when I take my pill and don’t. It gets a lot of looks when I do it and sometimes my knuckles have bled a little. It’s similar to when you have to yell when your overstimmed.
Is this normal or should I talk to my doctor?
Btw I’m 13 in 8th grade
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ADHD
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I started meditating a few years back using an app and listening to things at night to help me sleep but I recently decided to do it through the day too, since it might help with my thoughts as well.
How exactly does it help you with your OCD? By keeping anxiety down or helping you recognise intrusive thoughts etc?
Also, how often do you meditate and when?
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OCD
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I developed this fear after having a horrible reaction to taking adderall. Then, I stopped all of my medications because of my fear surrounding developing a psychotic disorder from taking medication.
Now that I have that background, here is how I overcame a fear that plagued me for almost 9 months of my life and sent me into panic attacks daily for over 4 of those 9 months.
——
Number 1. Realize it is your OCD
The first thing to realize, though I didn’t until halfway through my journey, was that I have OCD. Acknowledging that I have a mental illness that is contributing to these thoughts in my head helped out a whole lot. If you have been diagnosed with OCD from a mental health professional, be mindful and tell yourself “it’s not me, it’s my OCD.” However, be mindful of your emotions, so this doesn’t become a compulsion in itself.
Number 2. Seek professional mental health help
The second thing that helped me was realizing it was time to get professional mental health help. I was weary and scared of mental health help after my experience on the adderall. I thought I couldn’t trust the mental health world because it was so awful. When I started talking with therapists, before I was diagnosed with OCD, it was helpful to understand the beast I was dealing with was not psychosis, but a symptom of my mental illness.
After receiving a proper diagnosis, I was able to start ERP (exposure and response prevention therapy). My therapist was wonderful, helping me realize that this fear was destroying my life and I needed to tackle it.
At this stage in the journey, I realized that medication may be appropriate. I was still experiencing overwhelming anxiety and compulsions. Spending nearly every waking hour doing a compulsion or resisting. It consumed My attention from my job and forced me to do more dangerous compulsions such as excessive spending and eating. Once I was able to get on the appropriate medication, my compulsions lessened and some ceased all together. I would like to say this completely stopped the intrusive thoughts, but it lessened to such a great extent.
If you are afraid of medications, something else that helped me a lot was inositol. It’s a supplement known to help those with OCD.
Number 3. Realizing your core fears
What is driving your OCD? This is a Dr. Michael Greenberg approach (it may not be his, but he is where I first heard about it). His articles helped me so much in identifying that it was not psychosis or schizophrenia I was afraid of. It was the stigma from society attached to it.
https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/the-core-fear/
I was afraid of the rejection. I grew up in a household that stigmatized any sort of mental illness. This fear in my OCD warped from my complex trauma.
Identifying your core fears is essential in properly treating OCD. It may be a fear or outcome you are afraid of instead of the theme itself.
Number 4. Educating yourself on your theme with exposure therapy
I had two fears. The first was hallucinations and the second was delusions.
What helped with the hallucinations was repeatedly telling myself that I was hallucinating. Anything that I questioned was a hallucination, I told myself it was. I resisted the compulsions. Some of the phrases I told myself.
“It may or may not be a hallucination.”
“I love and accept myself no matter what.” <—- playing on the fear of rejection.
Fear of delusions
To be honest, this wasn’t as prevalent in my theme. I did go through a few weeks of intrusive thoughts about delusions. I would play the worst possible scenario in my head and resist the compulsions.
THE BIGGEST THING THAT HELPED ME WAS CUTTING OUT THE COMPULSIONS, INCLUDING RUMINATION.
The most important thing from all of this is those suffering from psychosis, psychotic disorders, and schizophrenia are human.
Before I came to this conclusion, I was attaching someone’s mental illness to them. It’s insanely dehumanizing. This is a horrible approach and extremely lacking empathy. People with psychosis are able to lead normal lives.
I started watching and reading articles of people that are able to be mothers, writers, artists, therapists, etc with their mental illnesses. I would particularly do positive research for your core fears.
I found this wonderful YouTube channel that helped a lot with me stigmatizing schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders.
https://youtube.com/c/LivingWellwithSchizophrenia
I continuously read articles of those with schizophrenia. Like these:
https://www.glamour.com/story/this-is-what-its-like-to-live-with-paranoid-schizophrenia
Number 5. Realizing that it would be ok if I ever developed psychosis
After destigmatizing the mental illness, I was able to accept that I may develop it or may even already have it.
By stigmatizing others with the disorder, I was doing the same to myself. When I learned that, it became easier to cope if I ever were to develop a psychotic disorder.
—-
That’s it. I no longer have this theme :) Still working on the core fear.
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OCD
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Hello Everyone,
I am new to this sub and wanting to see if my symptoms seem "normal" considering. So I have late-onset PTSD from early in life stuff. I have alot of previous psychedelic use and am currently in inpatient PTSD treatment. Well we have been getting to the more difficult parts of the therapy and I am getting non flashback type hallucinations. Nothing going on other than I see one large giant transparent mandala. I was wondering if anyone has experienced similar symptoms when higher levels of stress have been involved. I guess I am looking for a little validation here to make sure I am not clinically going off the deep end. Thanks for your time and any advice, experiences, and tips will be generously appreciated.
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ptsd
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Just started treatment with proper ADHD medication, and I can't afford the long lasting ones, so I have no idea when to take the second pill, or how to keep track of that(could put an alarm but we all know it ain't happening for long). The doctor only told me that I should take one or two per day. And I'm home for holidays so I'll not have an appointment for some time.
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ADHD
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Hello all. OCD fanatic here. I just love my OCD. Always there to screw up things when I just want peace. I could be a lot worse, but wanted to tell my little story. Writing seems to help.
So this started about 6 years ago. Cousin posted some vacation photos that included their 12 year old daughter in a bikini. Yeah girls are started to get into lady like territory at that point and she was already taller than her mother but whatever. Not my cup of tea regardless. Well a few months later something triggered in me that I was a pedo and looked at her in the wrong way. Was just devastated for a while over it. I know I have OCD and it always targeted health problems in the past. I sort of got past it. I was always careful not to look anywhere inappropriate on a kid and even would look up ages of attractive actresses before allowing myself to oogle them in any way.
Fast forward to about 6 months ago. New story comes up about a famous mom who posted her 16 year old daughters topless photo on Twitter. Curious me goes searching but not for the real photo....only a news story with a blurred out version just so I could understand the context of what photo her mother would of had. Or so I thought.....OCD came in and said that I always wanted to see the real photo and that's what I wanted. Number 1, pedo doesn't use Twitter to find that as it would be quickly scrubbed. Duh. Number 2, I remember seeing a sketchy link that looked like it may lead to the real photo. I was afraid to click it. I'm not good at being a monster.
Then last night. I had talked with a cop earlier in the day about another cop who was a child molester. He got nailed quite a while ago and I'm glad he's going down. Anyway last night laying on the couch my brain goes "I wonder what that's like" referring to watching CP. Nearly immediate distress. Now it feels like I have some temptation or calling related to CP. It feels like I'm going to break down one day and look that stuff up and watch it. Where has this idea been for my 32 years of life? I've been married for 12 years by the way.
My OCD is never super dehabilitating but it does upset me. I do shed a tear or two from time to time because I just want to be a good person. I know my attractions. It's the women with the big ones that stay in my head. I can't even visualize that type of content for more than a second without being ill. Reading about Josh Duggar was really distressing for me also.
I am working through a lot of life changes. I've been on a new intermittent fasting diet for almost 3 months and have lost about 30 pounds. I have been fighting off a porn/lust addiction for about 2 months of that also. That was never horribly bad, as I cut everything off cold turkey relatively quickly just because of sheer will but want to stay committed to that also. I think my mind is trying to fill the empty space left by food and sexual stimuli. But I don't like it lol.
I just wanted to put this out there. I could be worse but want to be better. I've also started therapy and I pray he is effectual in these areas.
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OCD
|
THERES SO MUCH PREP
My friends are starting a homebrew campaign and are pissed at me bc theyve already started and i cant bring myself to work through the mountains of reading i have to do to even start making a character
there are so many things to think about, and they all kind of impact each other, i cant find a foothold anywhere. I have no idea how people do this lol
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ADHD
|
I was blessed to have parents that put up with my very high maintanance needs (both of whom have passed away). I earned a B.S. in IT and am working a good paying job, as a network engineer. In school, my parents helped me so much on assignments; projects and essays in particular. This was from elementary school til my sophomore year of college at a community college. On top of that, they spent roughly $2,000 on tutoring sessions for me. Also, it was very easy to cheat on most of my assignments at a community college and *I never had any timed essays.* School, aside my Dad also did alot to fulfill my interest in IT, which started with working with me on building a PC when I was in 4th grade. He spent lots of money on hardware for me. I know some people, who were much lower maintenance than me as kids, and have well paying jobs and college degrees. Was anyone here, lucky to have parents that pampered you alot and successful in life because of it?
On the bad side, my dad had sick beliefs (*he was a Holocaust skeptic*)*,* dismissed psychology, and frequently joked about casual sex when I was in 9th grade. He died from cancer when I was 21.
I didn't understand the idea of casual sex til I was a freshman in college. His views and ideas on many social norms were very outdated. I wish I would've been able to see a counselor with him when I was still in HS. My mom was mentally ill and likely had ASD (she committed suicide when I was 23); unfortunately she never wanted to see a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 24.
Both of my parents were permissive and negligent. They didn't put much emphasis on me learning common life skills at any point in their lives and let me get away with stupid things. I said so many stupid racist things til I loved into a dorm room during junior year at college. I nearly got kicked out of school, when my roommate talked to the dean of students about me. I was damn, lucky that I never got into trouble for similar things I said in high school.
When I was seven, I hit a ***neighbors dog with a baseball bat (shortly after asking, what would happen if before I did it)!!!*** My parents only wagged their fingers at my about it. Does anyone have parents that were permissive negligent in a similar manner?
Please share blessings or curses about your parents and how it lead you to your current situation in life.
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aspergers
|
I am fully in support of the BLM movement and I wish I could go to show my support, but I'm worried about getting sick and I'm getting really stressed seeing all the people outside.
I feel so awful because I know how important this movement is but I'm just stuck inside and I'm feeling very fearful. It's nothing to do with anyone outside, it's completely peaceful but I get very stressed out hearing people outside my apartment. I live in a main floor apartment directly across from the park where the protest is. I feel like such an asshole even typing this because it's not about me, I'm just trying to avoid a panic attack. One of my PTSD triggers is loud noises and I get really stressed when lots of people walk by my windows (I know that's stupid).
I don't normally post here, I usually just comment, but I feel like typing this out has helped a bit.
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ptsd
|
I'm having a hard time with OCD.
I feel like I want to die. I don't know how to rely on others to tell me well.
I have OCD and intellectual disability as well.
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OCD
|
I'm 43 now and I'm so burned out.
My last job lasted 18 months and it'd been about 18 months since I left due to burnout.
All through my life I've had burnout amd I've been able to recover, regroup and try something new.
This time I think I'm done. I don't want to spend the rest of my days trying to fit in and work,.etc, only to crash. I actually feel that drive to fit in draining away.
Can anyone else relate?
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aspergers
|
It's hard to live with cptsd I wake up in the morning and think and feel like I am going to have a great day. Then minutes to hour usually everyday the flashbacks come and it ruins my whole thoughts of being happy and just feeling great. The depression of having these flashbacks and anger and thoughts that I cant do nothing to change what happened. Then I have to spend all day meditating and trying to get my mind back to some sense and mode of being able to handle what I go through everyday usually. I know there is always hope but it will get hard and it will be a long bumpy road to my goals of being healed as of for everyone that goes through what I been through.
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ptsd
|
I have an adderall prescription but basically never take take them because of the side effects. The most common for me is sweating , being too hot or too cold, thirsty all the time, and generally just feeling weird. Do the side effects get better the more I take it or does it suck all the time? I’m jealous of people who take adderall and they say it changed their life.
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ADHD
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I know there's a website that tells you what movie might have which triggers in it, but I can't remember the website. Anyone knows what it is?
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ptsd
|
I am looking to attend a residential treatment center, but have heard bad things about many of them. Any recommendations?
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ptsd
|
So my sling bag and shoes got splashed by a bit of poop/feces, and I've been worried if the germ got transferred to wherever I put them, they've been dirty for almost 6 months, and I don't know why I didn't wash them ( I threw them away now).
Now what I'm worried is, is the germ transferrable? Should I be worried about it or just let the thought go? I've put my bag and shoes in a lot of places, and I've been avoiding the places where I put them(ex: chairs, vehicles, tables). This has been going for almost two years now. PLS HELP ME? I really don't know what to do. Have I been worrying for nothing all along?
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OCD
|
Please excuse if this isn't well written im doing this through the tunnel vision of a oncoming panic attack
I've had horrific bouts of health based OCD since my dad died when I was 20 (39 now) I've been able to manage it halfway decently for several years now once I realized what it is.
I've been able to navigate the pandemic fairly well once we started working from home, I really kind of felt like the world was just being brought up to speed with how I feel.
Last year I kept my eldest daughter home from school and she did virtual, as my wife was pregnant with our second.
We made the choice to send her in person as masks were mandated at her school and our city has fairly good vaccination rates.
Now we're 3 days into her senior kindergarten year and she has her first fever.
I honestly don't know how I will manage this year until children are vaccinated. I have been terrified since she walked through the doors of the school and I feel like all the hard work I have done to get myself to a good place is gone in one night now. When it was just obsessing about myself and my own health it was horrible but obsessing about hers is so much worse.
I only started writing this post to stop myself from constant research of how many days is the onset of symptoms, odds of kids catching etc etc.
Thanks for letting me rant everyone.
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OCD
|
I’m being open here. I masturbate once a day usually. The problem I face now is, I hear stories about people cheating wives or husbands. Usually my friends say such things in normal conversation or I read them from news (though I don’t intentionally click on such news or ask about such stories). After hearing it stays in my mind. Also I confess it creates some sexual arousal in me. But whenever I try to masturbate that day, this story comes to my mind and I start thinking, am I masturbating to that incident or people? Am I doing a bad thing because such a cheating incident provoked me sexually? These thoughts run me nuts. Any of you gi through similar situation? Can anyone give some advice?
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OCD
|
Okay so i wanna keep this straight and simple. I wash my hands 60 times everyday until they sting and burn with hot water. I use my elbows to open doors and to turn on/off lightswitches. I tried Sertraline as my ocd medication prescribed by my psychiatrist but haf really bad side effects like horrible nightmates everynight (i still have these nightmares and I've been off the medication for 5 months) Anyway so recently I've been obsessing over the things that my hands have touched before mainly things like door handles and things other people have touched i still feel like my hands have got those germs inside my hands and i can still feel other peoples germs on my hands no matter how much i wash them. Now I'm honestly 100% thinking about either cutting off my hands completely or erasing all of the skin on my hands so then it can all grow back new and clean but I'd much prefer actually having my hands amputated. Is there a type of doctors or surgeon specialist i can go to have this amputation done at all?
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OCD
|
Hey everyone. So recently I was dating someone who I’m almost positive I have strong enough feelings that it feels like love. She broke it off after some time over varying reasons as we still talk and I learn more about how she really felt and can firmly say I didn’t do anything wrong except this, she said I exhaust her. She initially said she felt indifferent to my feelings for her but I didn’t buy that and after recent convos it seems the bigger thing has been my pushing to communicate. Now everyone in my life knows I’m a talker (hell I’m a former media student who’s an actor now lol). I’ve talked and rambled about anything from nerdy shit, to politics, to life. I can speak and I’m damn good at it. But I can listen very well as well even tho after this girl I’m questioning that aspect. She said I lack emotional intelligence because as good as I can read her and people in general, I couldn’t read her being uncomfortable at times because of something I said. Or the confusing aspects of her telling me something serious but I interrupt it as a joke cuz most of the time she would down play the serious stuff in a cute funny way. But I think I’m side tracking LOL! The aspects I lack I’m down to work on for sure I get it. Dating these past two years has taught me a lot that I’m good at and plenty I’m not. I’ve pushed to stupid levels before and I’m fully accountable for my past and have made genuinely respectable efforts to improve. However before I find the right therapist to talk to, I wanted fellow ADHD folks opinion. Has anyone dealt with this issue? Of being so hyper and genuinely yourself that you’ve exhausted not only yourself at times, but friends, family, and even potential soulmates? Because it’s not just about her, but my entire life and everyone in it. Thanks I love this sub Reddit it’s helped plenty before and I hope this thread helps not just me but anyone who’s ever felt helpless. (I don’t want everyone to be tired of me nor do I wanna make them exhausted).
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ADHD
|
My 13 yr old son is on 20 mg Adderall instant release that he take only on school days. He goes back and forth between my house and mom's 50/50 split one week on one week off. Mom has his main script and sends what he will need for the week but this week I let him stay home one day (he is never sick) so we had one extra pill left today. I decided to take it because I wanted to see how he feels. I've done more than my fair share of most drugs so I know what a stimulant feels like. I'm a big guy, 240lbs, so I know it's not apples to apples but is this how this medication makes him feel? I've felt a little wound up all afternoon, like I wanted to bitch at someone for no good reason, went from starving to not being hungry at all and my nose is running a little and my head is itchy. He has taken this now all of this year and then two years ago for the whole year, with Covid last year and staying home he didn't take it. He said he wanted to go back on it this year. I worry because he doesn't eat all day until about 4pm and then it's not a ton. He seems super tired when he gets home from school, but also starts his day at 6am. Can any of you give me some insight? The medication does seem to help his studies.
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ADHD
|
I can no longer maintain a personal hygiene routine. I had to ask my mother if she could wash my hair today, because I simply couldn't face the anxiety that comes with taking a shower. Just getting out of bed every day feels like a mammoth task. Is anyone else here struggling to carry out the most basic of tasks, let alone study or hold down a job?
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OCD
|
19m
Mewing is a orthotropic method where you put your tounge on the roof of your mouth. Its a big internet trend because its meant to give you a good jawline. I saw some YouTube video promoting "hard mewing" where you push with force instead for faster results. I did this and and since been the dumbest desicion of my life
Around two months ago I hard mewed with extreme force for about two days. What I did what stupid and was driven by insecurities. I have since have quit mewing but here is the side affects of what I did:
First I experienced numbness in my tounge and roof of mouth most likely nerve damage caused by the extreme force i put on.
Then I experienced extreme headaches and brain fog. It was just so terrible that I just couldn't think straight.
I decided to go to the doctors and they found nothing but I did have some very bad tmj issues and tinnitus (caused by hard mewing)
About a week later I got extreme sinus issues, the left side of my sinuses was in serious pain, which caused pain behind my left eye. This has since gone away. Could of been due to allergies but was new and right after hard mewing
I noticed slight asmertry in my face. One eye was higher than the other and one cheekbone popped out more.
My hard palate is uneven, the left side is slightly lower by around two 2mm while the right sits slighty higher. There appears to be a strange dome-shaped arch in my soft palate that wasn't there before.
But that wasn't the worst symptoms, the worst symptoms where mental. Which have since affected my life.
Right after doing hard mewing, I started experiencing pure ocd symptoms. I fell into a cycle of constant worry. Littealy worrying and anxious about something all day, late at night, then wake up and start frantically worrying about instantly. I would overthink, do research on it and possible treatment and i was gripped by anxiety
Frist it was intense worrying about the mewing damage itself. Then it moved on to constantly worrying about devloping schizophrenia, then moved on to altizmiers (which doesn't make any sense because I'm 19) then to spilt personally disorder, and some more mental disorders.
It sounds dumb, but at the time it is the most intense fear and anxiety. It has negatively affected my life, I belive i failed one of my exams because of it.
The other mental issue I got is bad memory, I notice that my memory was gotten so much worse, could be caused by the stress or the mewing I don't know
Ever since doing mewing, my mood has felt different, just sort of dead inside. Almost no motivation or sence of self-improvement that I usually normally have.
So it appears that I might of developed some sort of mental disorder. Or has least been exposed due to mewing.
Recently I discovered that this hard mewing does actually cause some of brain damage. Particularly this post here describes it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/orthotropics/comments/mvcqca/mewing_ruined_my_life_read/
So it appears hard mewing pushes a bone up into the brain which causes mental issues. I don't think I have developed issues of a psychopath or schizophrenia, (although I do fear these)
I also found a post with someone who had a similar experience (intrusive thoughts)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Mewing/comments/ihhz6x/brain_damage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
So I unevenly mewed pushing a bone into my brain. Great.
I'm so sorry for this trauma dumping post. I know this post is alot and sounds crazy to many. I'm really sorry for all the dumb questions I have been posting on reddit. I'm just really scared. I used to be so happy and bright now i just live in fear. I plan on seeing a orthodontist and a ocd specialist asap. Sadly I live in a very rural town so I will only be able to see specialists when I go to my university town next year.
I would be extremely extremely grateful for any advice. I don't know what i should do and what I should look out for. I stopped mewing when my mouth went numb. I don't know if I should mouthbreath or I should try to lower the bone to prevent mental illness. Many thanks!
Maybe I deserve this for being a stupid idiot
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OCD
|
It is something a friend of mine told me lately, it helped to remember me that I was somebody before. And sometimes, I forget that.
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ptsd
|
I have OCD and I can’t make decisions about what TV show to watch or what book you read or how to spend my day or even WHAT silly little YouTube video to watch. I have stopped consuming any piece of “content” bc I get intrusive feelings and thoughts that it will cause me to OCD spiral. So I don’t want to be triggered. Also I get the groinal randomly from literally anything that makes me anxious. Which is any decision. So I get it from songs, while browsing Netflix, while watching random YouTube videos.
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OCD
|
1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4
Edit: Added a 4 at the end for the homies that are bothered
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OCD
|
so i haven't been diagnosed but i feel i have symptoms. so the current situation is that my neighbor who recently tested negative for covid after testing positive was talking to my mom. they both had masks on but im worried my mom was exposed and then she'll spread it to others. i dont know if my neighbor isolated long enough after her test result like the cdc says you should. i also hate feeling responsible for this. is it worth mentioning to my mom that she should get tested? the cdc recommends it if you think you may have been exposed.
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OCD
|
I was anxiety free for a couple of months know. I’m diagnosed with OCD and suffers from health anxiety. I was able to live my life « normally » as I can say.
But we are leaving on vacay in 2 weeks and my panic attacks and anxiety surges are back. I feel dizzy, light headed, disconnected and I feel like my body is on fire. Palpitations and all. I’m not used to them anymore so I’m scared of having a deadly health issue. I fear flying a lot, even if I didn’t use to be afraid before. But it all changed since my anxiety.
I wanted to speak my mind because my boyfriend is really loving but can’t understand. I try to give myself self-compassion and love. Repeating that it will pass and that I’m safe.
Uuuurgh,rough pass !
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OCD
|
I struggle with harm and psychosis ocd. I keep thinking "what if I actually want to harm/kill someone?" I wondered how do I cope with uncertainty? I can't just think "well maybe I want to kill/will kill someone. Maybe I'm gonna get psychosis". Please help.
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OCD
|
I was just talking to a friend about a couple of incidents in my early childhood that kind of solidified this as a personality trait for me, and then I read that a lot of people on the spectrum have a nervous laugh?
When I was a kid of about eight years old, we were reading a story in class about a man who got mauled by a polar bear. If I had to guess why we were reading this story, the only thing I can really think of is that people really gave less of a crap about protecting kids from fear back then, it was kind of a weird world at the time. Anyways, we got to the bit about the mauling and I started cracking up. And I can tell you 100% it was not because I thought it was funny, I was scared out of my wits. I got taken out of the classroom and had a firm talking to, and I tried and failed to explain to my teacher why I'd laughed. My parents understood, though.
This happened a few other times with random other things in school, too. As I got older, I got a little better at controlling it, but even now in social situations, especially in public, when I'm uncomfortable I kind of have this vapid laugh. It's usually in a high stress situation, or when I'm experiencing a lot of stress. It just seems to come right out of me. Makes me feel a bit stupid if I'm being honest, and it's happened before where I had no idea what someone was talking about, and just kind of kept laughing, and they got annoyed with me.
Anybody else have this issue? I literally can't seem to stop it, it's almost tic-like at this point.
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aspergers
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25 f. Work as an in-house sub for a behavioral school. My coworkers all talk about stuff like houses, families and all. I have trouble inserting myself in conversations at time, and often find myself just listening in or even spacing out on my phone. Am I being rude/ a witch? Anyone else have this problem?
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aspergers
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I think I need to be admitted.
I have days that I'm fine. Maybe 2 out of the 7 days of the week. Then, if I'm lucky I have one day out of the week where I can say I'm happy. The rest, are all really, really bad. I have nightmares constantly, I have lots of moments where I freeze up and recall everything and feel like I can't continue. I've not been eating. I run to my car during my lunch break at work so that I can cry.
I'm only 20 and I'm worried that if I am admitted into IOP, I'll lose my job, and lose my apartment. Does anyone have any tips? Did IOP help you?
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ptsd
|
F24. I just feel like I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I have a medical diagnosis that will not allow me to have children, my boyfriend is straying away from the idea of marriage. I just started at a dead end job and I’m drowning in debt from a degree I’m not even using. I don’t know what I do, all I know is I don’t want to do this anymore.
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depression
|
Usually vyvance calms people right? Well for me I usually feel way too lazy to shake my leg. Vyvance makes me shake my leg and fidget like the adhd symptom is. Things feel more clear
But it has the opposite effect on my brain. It makes my brain feel like it needs less stimulation. Usually I’m grossly addicted to my phone and get lost in my phone. But on vyvance I can sit still and do things w out constantly needing my phone
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ADHD
|
After listening to Porter Robinson’s new album over and over again, I realized how perfectly Mirror (link is below) describes OCD. Also, I’d be super interested if anyone else on this sub listens to or have listened to Porter Robinson!
[Mirror - Porter Robinson](https://youtu.be/PkiIPzG37vQ)
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OCD
|
I’m a 17 year old male and I started smoking weed when I was about 13, I did it occasionally with friends but never really a lot, when I turned 15 right before the summer I started smoking daily with them, down in the forest, sunny days, just getting high and living it up. I have many great memories with those guys. But I kept this daily pattern over my grade 10 school year till I was about 16, when I started being able to also not sleep without it. I dropped pretty much all my classes cause I couldn’t go, couldn’t get up from waiting for my parents to go to sleep the night before, and a general lack of motive, you know the drill. But when i lost my job recently and started realizing I was down to my last ounce, I went to my parents for help. They understood completely and it explained a lot of the issues we’d had over the year. I’m currently not at school, figure I’ll redo the year, and about a month of no smoking (had a week or so of drinking after I quit) and I’m having some screwed up experience right now. I know that my body regaining all its senses is a bit over whelming, but it’s like I have this horrible OCD, and I’ve never been like this before, in fact I’ve always been kind of careless when it comes to dirt and dust and food on surfaces. But it’s like everything pisses me off, little pieces of things, dust, etc... but it’s like I don’t think it’s gonna hurt me It’s just once I notice it I can’t get it out of my head and relax. And it’s like when things touch over things I notice like never before. I love my dog but he’s so gross he runs around in my backyard where he shits and runs through the house, and he nudges his saliva covered toys into my legs, making me feel like changing my sweatpants, which is another thing, I can’t relax if I’m not in certain clothes and they need to fit right and be a different colour than my other clothes, and if something like I step where something spilled I need to change my socks. I’m plowing through laundry😂. I don’t like being outside anymore. Because it’s overwhelming and the wind pushing particles around, having to look where I step, and my entire backyard smells like dogshit even thought nobody else in my family seems to have an issue. Grass smells terrible, I feel like I can just randomly smell things even when I’m indoors, and My hands are so dry and red from washing all the time, but I don’t want to put lotion on because it feels like I can’t touch anything without getting lotion on that too. I know it’s to do with me quitting weed after so long but It’s like I feel like I would do these things anyways cause i can’t picture just levaing stuff like this alone. And the bathroom is the fucking worse. It feels like for the past two months, even while I was smoking, when I pee my penis gets covered in piss at the end and I have to use toilet paper to keep it clean. I think I have phimosis, where I can’t pull my foreskin back when erect, so that could be causing something, which I only realized after loosing my v card a while back, but it’s like there’s nothing I can do about all the toilet paper gunk I see when I pull it back flaccid, cause it’s either that or piss stains that will drive me insane. And when I crap, I either don’t have to wipe at all (nothing there) or I have to wipe for ages and it never seems to go away, and I end up having to shower. And in the past week or two ejaculation is a nightmare. It’s like even when I wipe it all off more kind of pools at the end of the hole after a few minutes. And it feels like When I’m sitting down to eat or do anything, I can’t relax unless I’ve y evacuated my bladder. everything is so messed up right now I just finally got my sleep schedule from sleeping in the day back to night but nothings better, everything is a weird issue and I can’t see a doctor cause of the amount of people rn doing it and I can’t talk to my therapist about medical issues like that, and I only see her evry couple weeks. Everything is horrible the only time I feel good is when I get perfectly comfortable and lose myself in videogames and movies. I need a vape to help this shit man
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OCD
|
I carry a lot of shame with these intrusive thought bc they involve men Including family. I know I need to talk about these with my therapist to get past it but it’s soooo hard to talk about. I wanna move past this and she’s helped me with other intrusive thoughts and her way of doing it worked well. Do you guys have any tips that’ll help?
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OCD
|
I'm a 31 year old male working as a digital marketing manager recently diagnosed with ADHD. I've been prescribed with Strattera and have been adviced to transition to a career choice which is 'less detail-oriented'.
What career choices do I have? I've not had any success in my career so far anyway not for the lack of interest or for trying but because I honestly can't keep up. Just thinking of changing my career choice itself is so overwhelming.
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ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with chronic PTSD a few months ago that's manifested since my adolescence. I've always had a really restricted range of activities that I enjoyed doing, but I've noticed lately that I'm losing interest in everything I used to enjoy.
First, I stopped watching television.... Then, art wasn't fun anymore. I stopped writing for leisure... Photography....
I used to enjoy driving around in my car and just listening to music, and meditating..... I have absolutely no desire to do that now because *I don't even enjoy music* ?!
Wtf WHO doesn't enjoy music.....
Everything that was pleasurable, from friendships, to (sorry... TMI) sex & masturbation, to eating nice food.... It's like, I'm an empty shell of a human carcass. I don't really feel *anything*.
What is happening to me? It's not that I feel "worse...." I just don't really experience much pleasure in anything anymore. Every traumatizing event that I experienced made me feel that much more disconnected with myself and I just don't feel ... "Human".
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ptsd
|
Like one time I was on a subreddit discussing this book series and I said something and I got downvoted by two people and immediately I started beating myself up and feeling really horrible. I felt like some kind of monster for saying something wrong. It's ridiculous I know, people on the internet are strangers but the OCD sure does love to make me feel like a monster every chance it gets.
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OCD
|
What are some drugs that directly target the amygdala? As I feel like this is where PTSD lives, no?
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ptsd
|
Is it just me or is anyone horrified at the thought of ending up in jail at some point in your life, even if you never committed any crimes? Literally, I don’t think I could survive in an environment with barbarians competing in a dysfunctional social hierarchy.
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aspergers
|
I have friends but no one close enough to really talk to about this. I have this feeling that I just bother everyone I talk to no matter who it is and even when they tell me its not true I don't believe them. I feel like a loser who is undeserving of friends so I try to stay to myself and only talk to friends if they talk to me first so atleast then it doesn't feel like im bothering them. Its such a shitty feeling to feel like you have only a negative impact on everyones life. No one looks forward to seeing you and no one looks forward to talking to you. And the fact that im upset about this makes me feel even worse because i know people have bigger issues than me I have no reason to be sad but i just am and i dont know what to do about it its just my existence
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depression
|
When I was 16 I was taken advantage of by my high school teacher. Now I’m in college, and I did not realize how much my trauma was affecting my ability to do well in school until this. I have always struggled to turn assignments in on time. Now I have this professor who has really helped me to understand what I am capable of and has taken a personal interest in me that is not sexually charged and like he really cares about me as a person. And all of a sudden I’m working hard on assignments because I enjoy them, and I think it’s because I’m starting to feel more safe. I find that it scares me a lot because I have this deep attachment to him and I barely know him. But we have requested to work with each other next semester and I feel like crying sometimes because it is opening a wound but also I think could be a really good opportunity for healing. I have a crush on him and I think part of what makes this feel safe is that I know he won’t take advantage of that. I guess I just wanted to share and receive validation because it’s confusing and intense and difficult too.
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ptsd
|
I want to make this as short and to the point as I can. I really need advice on what I should do/say the next time I’m having an appointment. My psychiatrist and therapist both don’t know about this event from almost 3 years ago now. It plays a major role in my life and the problems I face. I’m reluctant to even leave my home, and when I do I’m completely tense and alert, and I feel physical anxiety symptoms. Sometimes at home I’ll even just get paranoid and my heart rate will pick up. Often when I’m either at home or away from home, I’ll find myself falling into some sort of “day dream-like” trace, where I start thinking about this event and things that happened during it. I’ve quit multiple jobs since then, and been unable to get myself to stick with it. My school work has suffered, I’ve had a lot if trouble focusing, and I’ve had some forms of suicidal thoughts where I don’t intend to actually do it, but just think it (not where I’m really adamant about doing it, but just thoughts that I’d feel better if I wasn’t alive). To summarize: this event is pretty much the sole reason that I have no social life, no job anymore, and poor performance in my classes. My psychiatrist and therapist know about some of my symptoms, and they acknowledge that I have anxiety, concentration issues, and some depression... but they don’t know the real problem. My family and friends know that it happened, and they know just about as much as my psychiatrist and therapist know.
This is where I get to the issue in question. I’ve somehow put these things on lock, where I never speak of it to anyone. I know that I can trust them and the mental health professionals aren’t even allowed to tell anyone, but I just can’t say these things to another humans face. It feels embarrassing to think about saying it, and after all this time now that I’ve been lying, it’s even worse. Another thing that worries me is that maybe it will look like I’m some sort of “drug seeker” if I tell my psychiatrist. If Im being honest, I fit the description of those people too. I’m a 20 year old male with depression, and I probably just look like I’m out for some valium or sleeping pills. I’ve been put on a whole list of different medications in the past, including multiple SSRIs, SNRIs, Wellbutrin, Trazodone, antipsychotics, hydroxyzine, and more but to no avail. The only thing I haven’t been put on are the worst ones. The ones you can get addicted to that kids are after to abuse, anxiety drugs. I’m worried that me just randomly coming out and saying I’ve been struggling with this for almost 3 years is going to look like I just randomly decided that I’m gonna try and get some recreational drugs. I’m not living under a rock, and I can’t just pretend that all the kids aren’t talking about Xanax because of their favorite rappers or whatever. It’s also really hard to talk about it. People have asked me about what happened or details about it, and my heart drops and I try my best to not stutter it out while thinking about it.
I know I said I wanted to make it short and to the point, but stuff happens. If anyone has advice on what they would do in my situation, I’d appreciate it.
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ptsd
|
I dunno you guys, no matter what I do I’ve been feeling very down and numb lately. All I want to do is sleep and eat sugar. I think im just kinda venting. The depression aspect is newer to me so I’m trying to figure this out. I’m on Zoloft and Wellbutrin XR but it’s still not enough. Therapy is SO great for many people but I’ve had OCD my whole life so at this point it doesn’t benefit me anymore. How do you get out of a slump?
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OCD
|
Hi, I have been struggling with ocd for a very long time. I finally have diagnosed myself after being in denial for a very long time. I’ve done all my research and spoken to so many people. I want a full team on my corner to help me as I’m finding it harder and harder every day to get through simple tasks and work. So I’m consulting my PCP, a psychiatrist to determine whether I should get on medication, but I also want to be evaluated by an OCD specialist and work with them does anyone have someone in Florida that they recommend? Psychiatrists sometimes tend to just push pills without bothering to evaluate what’s really going on, I feel that ordinary therapists are just asking you about your childhood and don’t help with the actual OCD, so I need someone who specializes in this to really help me.
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OCD
|
DAE end up doing things you’re scared of, outside of therapy? Like you make a list with your therapist of certain things you have to do and you just end up doing them without breaking down because you’re in a social situation and you don’t want to burden anyone?
I mean one of the things I’m terrified of doing is
- ordering food for myself
- eating by myself
- eating with someone
- touching a tray
I’m pretty sure I just did all of that because I have this new tuition friend who keeps asking me out to eat and I want to improve myself and well, yk.. face my fears.
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OCD
|
Hi :)
I am wondering if anyone has experienced similar feelings. I (21F) live alone and have a decent job (work from home) and keep things decently routined but I find myself melting down and feeling so alone and scared of having to get up everyday and be an adult, if may sound silly but sometimes life is just so overwhelming for me and I feel like I am not mentally mature enough and still feel like I process things like I am a lot younger. I have friends who have partners and strong support networks and they look to want to grow up and settle down but i just don’t relate and can’t seem to connect with people and so the pressure and loneliness comes to be a lot and I feel like adult life is just so much effort to uphold.
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aspergers
|
This week started off pretty well. I managed to get two full days of work in, eat some proper food and plan out an essay. Then.. I just couldn't function. I tried music, teas and coffees. Hell I even had an energy drink for the first time in years but nothing worked.
Now I have 3 essays due in a week with only 1 started, I'm going away for a few days with the uni so this morning I had to clean up all my rubbish and put the bins out and wash up all my kitchen stuff from the week because I couldn't force myself to do it earlier.
And all of this made me miss the train I needed to get for my round trip to the pharmacy to pick up my meds before going on to my unis field trip for the week. Now I have to wait till Friday to be able to go and pick them up when I'm on my way back home.
It's days like today I wonder what it's like to have a 'normally' functioning brain 🤔
I guess the upside to me missing the earlier train is that I can have the shower I missed out on earlier because I was in a rush 😅
Do any of you have any coping mechanisms that work for you? Or just some tips to help be somewhat productive
(for those who are curious I moved somewhat recently and still haven't made the call to my gp to change the pharmacy my prescription gets sent to. Also, they aren't Adhd meds as I need to book the appointment for those...)
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ADHD
|
This is just a little vent post I guess. Whenever I have friends over my house or sleep at a friends house I dissociate at least one time while being with them. I just get flashbacks or I get triggered by a dark joke or even by my own thoughts and then I just slip into a dissociative episode and they have no clue what to do. I told them it's better not to touch me when this happens and they also try to cheer me up but it just does not help me. There's nothing that helps me in these situations, I just have to wait until I feel better.
Some days ago I got into an argument with my best friend and he brought up how exhausting I am because he has to think about everything he says so he won't trigger my trauma and how annoying my dissociative episodes are. I feel really bad about it but I just dont know what to do against it, I mean, I don't even want to have these episodes, they just happen and I cant do anything to hold it back.
Now I am thinking about not meeting my friends anymore because I am scared that I will get flashbacks or dissociate and eventually annoy them with it. Do some of you have a similar experience or have any tips what I could do in situations like that?
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ptsd
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Questions like what happens when we die? Why is there something rather than nothing? Is there a God?
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OCD
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So, it’s common knowledge that ADHD struggle with studying but even when i’m focused with what i do it’s hard to concentrate and focus on the words :(
(i’m 21 M ) i study medicine so it’s required that i study a lot . i end up cramming everything in the last month and barely make it to pass ….
today i tried to study, i sat there trying to understand the words and retain some information but it’s like my eyes go through the words and in my head a distant voice is saying what the eyes see but it doesn’t really retain anything. it’s so frustrating
do you guys have any tips for this kind of situation? i can read a whole paragraph but it’s so hard to retain the words or even when i understand them and get what they’re saying by the time i’m reading the next paragraph if you were to ask me something about the prior one i wouldn’t be able to tell you . i would have tje things in the tip of my tongue but i wouldn’t be able to say …. it’s so frustrating to feel all this .
how to volume up the voice in the head so it states things clearly to my mind?
pd: sorry for bad english .
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ADHD
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Hello everyone! I am a neurotypical teenager and a few months ago I became friends with a girl my age who has Asperger's Syndrome. I only know because she casually mentions it from time to time, otherwise I wouldn't tell. Up until now, I treated her just like all of my NT friends and never talked with her about the Syndrome. Should I continue doing so? How can I make her feel more welcome? Thanks in advance for all the replies!
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aspergers
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I can't tell if it is the Adderall or maybe just me but..
I feel like when on I am on Adderall, my breathing and stamina take a hit. Like running a mile is more exhausting than usual. I am taking my usual prescribed dose of 30mg IR twice a day.
Is this a common side effect of Adderall and stimulants in general? What is the reasoning or science behind it? And is there anything I can possibly do?
I can't have my cardio hindered like this because I am doing a lot of physical training right now that involves a lot of HIIT workouts, sprints, running, miles, etc.
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone,
So I downloaded an adapter on my PC on Thursday and it completely ruined my PC (it was for an old school game I used to play). I’ve had the monitor sent away and now I am literally shitting myself because I have notes on my PC for the psychiatrist that contain things about PCOD. If you look back on my Reddit account history, you’ll see things about anime/cartoons and POCD. Basically as well all my personal files on are on there. I’m so scared and worried if he’ll look at them and think I’m a freak or call the police!
Basically I used to masturbate to fictional characters who were aged 14/15-years olds. To me, they looked older. But a few months ago I realised that’s really weird and that I might be a pedo. I still masturbate but not over fiction characters that are underage.
I think that real pedos are absolutely disgusting and are not normal. But then I think “am I a pedo?”
So worried.
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OCD
|
I feel like I can never be a good person because I'm a white man. It's turned into this stupid fucking game where I constantly try to make myself feel better by justifying my existence because I'm also gay and Jewish.
The worst part is that some of it is real. A lot of the time when I'm confronted with my privilege, I do get defensive, I do get angry, and I do think mean thoughts. Sometimes I can't tell if they're intrusive, other times they're definitely not intrusive.
I feel extremely uncomfortable labeling this as OCD because so much of it is reality. In truth, the largest OCD component is not the intrusive thoughts, but rather my constant fixation on it. For the past 6 months it's been non-stop thinking about how I can move on, how I am privileged in some ways and in other ways I am not, etc.
I was finally starting to get better and accept my privilege for a few days, and it felt pretty good, but now it's coming back. And unlike my other themes, it feels different. It's not a constant state of deep hopelessness, but rather a mild misery that gradually beats me down day after day. I've tried everything and I don't feel better.
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OCD
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I am just starting meds and I have been prescribed 7.5mg of adderall. it’s been super hard for me to get it in person. The 3rd pharmacy i went to said the supplier didn’t even have it. Is this going to be a regular thing because it’s not 5mg or 10mg?
(I think he prescribed this dose because i already take Wellbutrin)
My husband says I shouldn’t have an issue once get started and the pharmacy will most likely have it in stock but it’s worrying me that it’s mot even at the supplier.
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ADHD
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https://www.ted.com/talks/christian_jarrett_why_are_we_so_attached_to_our_things
I do tend to keep things that I think will benefit me in a practical way, but I'm not at all attached to random things like particular coffee mugs. I don't even own/display any art because it doesn't really do much for me. I tend to be picky about the items I have, but not attached to them.
Does this resonate with you?
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aspergers
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Is it possible to have PTSD without knowing what it is from? Can a multitude of events cause PTSD o er time?
I've had a recurring nightmare since I was about 4 or 5 years old, and I'm now 27. It is EXHAUSTING. I know when I'm going to have that nightmare before I fall asleep at night - my body feels different, my hearing is different, I'm on edge, and to be completely honest - I'm scared AS FUCK to fall asleep.
It's not a nightmare about a specific event that happened in my life, as the nightmare isn't something that could physically happen. But, it also affects me outside of Dreamland - there are things that remind me of my nightmare in real life. There are triggers in real life that seen to bring on the nightmare even more. The nightmare starts and ends in the same place every single time, for as long as I can remember.
Any suggestions are really appreciated, as I've been living with this nightmare for over 20 years now and I still don't know why.
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ptsd
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