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pretty much what the title says. I hate parties and am always stressed and uncomfortable when I am there, but yet everytime there’s a party and I’m not there I feel so bad about myself and wish I was there. How do I help the feeling of missing out even tho I know I wouldn’t have had a good time?
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aspergers
|
I have dreams pretty frequently that involve people and scenarios of my trauma. I wouldn’t say they’re nightmares, just normal dreams with them that are inherently intense from their presence. I wake up feeling like shit because it makes me think of it all again and I just can’t get it out of my head no matter what I do.
Anyone else have this? Would this fall under the nightmare/trouble sleeping category of this condition?
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ptsd
|
For too many reasons to explain my partner has had to go away for work (3,000 miles away) and I'm having to stay with my parents.
It feels so weird to be back here, it wasn't a very happy place when I was a child and now I'm here for 4 days and I'm having a meltdown.
I feel like I've gone back instantly to that headspace of being suppressed, belittled and I just can't stop crying. Also everyone has gone to bed, it's 9pm and my partner is still on his flight and I just don't know what to do with myself.
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depression
|
I just finished giving an exam about half an hour ago. It was proctored using a dangerously distracting combination of zoom and a lockdown browser. Zoom on a secondary machine set to watch us while we did the thing. Not the worst thing in the world.
It was an econ exam that I had spent the last week really working hard to study for. You’d get what I mean by working hard - 3 to 1 perceived work to actual work ratio. Spend 9 hours at your desk and get 3 hours worth of meaningful studying done. Sure, I’ll take that. It’s better than what it used to be.
I managed to finish studying all the assigned modules before the exam started. That’s a win in my book. In the past, finishing half of the modules before the test was a freakin’ miracle. I’ve made Progress. Good job, me.
I feel ready. Prepared. Slightly sluggish but confident. Bring it on.
Then the exam starts and because of ADHD, I get 1.5x time. But I can take it easy, I don’t have to panic. I can read all the questions carefully and think things through. I’ve studied all this. I know how to solve these questions.
But no. Not today. Today isn’t one of those days where things just fall into place and I get what I worked so fucking hard for - a decent grade. A testament to my effort and suffering; reassurance to myself that I too am capable.
But no. Screw all that. My brain just tapped out.
I spent half my time just glancing at the screen with zoom and all the other students giving the test and the other half looking at the questions on my test, trying to read the words but not being able to. When I finally did manage to make sense of what the questions were asking of me, I knew I could answer them. But I just couldn’t get myself to. I couldn’t connect the dots to get to the answer. By the time my brain woke up and everything just started making sense, 3 hours had gone by, with 30 minutes remaining to do 90% of the test.
I desperately did what I could in that all too familiar surge of panic induced motivation to answer 20 more percent. The test closed as I was starting to answer the next question, leaving around 70 percent of the test blank. I was the only person left in the zoom meeting. I glanced at the proctor who looked like he was ready to die, he really hated me. I was the shmuck who took 4 hours to do a quarter of the quiz it took everybody else 2 hours to finish. I apologized and left.
I share this inevitable failure with you, having retreated into my dark solemn hole. I’m beaten and battered. I’m ready to give up. Before you tell me to suck it up and keep my chin up and keep marching forward, just know that I have. I’ve been marching on for so fucking long, celebrating minor wins that eventually lead to major losses. On and on and on again.
I’m just tired. So fucking tired of being so unreliable. So random. So moody. So inconsistent. I did everything right, or at least tried. And still I got fucked over. Fuck this.
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ADHD
|
Most of the time, I feel utterly alone. I’m a 29 year old female who was recently diagnosed with PTSD. It didn’t even occur to me that I could have it, although I used to study psychology. I just thought I was an anxious person. I’ve worked in customer service for the past 11 years and I’m currently one of the oldest people at my store (and no degree) and I feel stuck at this job. This area is very affluent with a lot of rich snobs visiting the store every day. I feel as though I can’t relate to any of these kids I work with because of our difference in age, but also, I feel as though if they have any trauma, it’s not prominent...I’m embarrassed of mine because when triggered (mostly by customers), I get erratic and sometimes can’t even form words properly. No one understands me. I had a customer threaten to call corporate on me a few weeks ago. She was very accusative toward me and wouldn’t let me explain myself. She even called me an idiot when I spelled my name out for her...I manically explained that the spelling of my name was different than another word. I went into the back room and had a panic attack. I sobbed and called my boyfriend for consolation. Working in customer service, and at my store in particular has been especially hard for me because of the abuse my co-workers and I deal with on a daily basis on top of the former abuse I endured. I had a day a few weeks ago that I called out (it was a Monday) because I had barely slept that night due to panic attacks. I’m not medicated because my therapist said I should continue to take CBD oil. I would probably smoke marijuana if it didn’t make me paranoid and I’ve been actively applying for other jobs (with no luck). I marked myself on our employers website as having a disability a few days ago, which I wasn’t aware PTSD was a disability (thanks to this group, I know now).
Today I was triggered before I even came to work. I feel bad for my boyfriend as we are still new to our area and we don’t have friends, which causes him to constantly deal with me. I just feel so alone and wish someone understood. I really feel as though I’d be able to heal if I had a job where I didn’t have to deal with customers but my job search has been so terrible, I’m losing hope.
Thank you for reading.
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ptsd
|
A day ago, or perhaps it was a couple days ago, there was a post on here about playing life on 'difficult mode'. I have no idea how this person acts or how they come across to people, so I can't comment on it much. But I often have a decently easy time looking 'normal'. My sentences are fluid, I can even kind of hold small talk if I really feel I have to (there are some tricks to it) and when I talk about things that interest me it is hard to even notice at some point that I am autistic. I work, I used to go to church (before covid), I talk to people, though mostly online, but then again, who doesn't these days.
I have many blessings in life, good parents who raised me in a stable home. I come from one of the worlds richest countries where there are a lot of benefits and possibilities. I even belong to the dominant ethnicity in that country, if you want to stack on privilege's, I am even male, straight, the whole shebang. People think I am fairly intelligent (or I am just good at sounding like I am), so there is no reason why I am in the place that I am in. But I am, I am despite everything just a blue collar worker, working a job some people oddly think I am 'too smart' for. I know it sounds stupid to mention that people call me that, it is also a bit stupid for them to say it, because it means they look down upon themselves as having less to offer to the world.
But while I have all that, there is also a storm raging in my mind. There is effort into being like I am now. There is effort involved in keeping myself from having meltdowns over the most useless of stuff. It thankfully happened only once at work, and it was embarrassing. People treated it well thankfully, giving me a slap on the shoulder when I got back, but I would have preferred it had not happened. But especially romantic relations are hard with it. My ex, if I ever had bad moments of panic she would just stare at me, judge me. Now there was this girl that I chatted with on and off, who I really liked. And right before we stopped talking she mentioned to me a lot of hard truths about my life. Among it being that she saw people who had it harder than me that achieved more.
Frankly I am a bit tired of sounding normal. But I can't just out of the blue make myself look more autistic, that would be just putting on a show. Just like my ex thought my meltdowns were just a show I put on. When all your disadvantages happen between your ears but not out of your mouth it gets a bit lonely. I invite the people I love to look behind the veil of my thoughts to see what mess is inside of it, but since they judge the veil to be made of pure satin and adorned with gold that there must be nothing odd behind it, and so they don't peer inside.
Over time my parents have taken their expectations of me to a low point, which is a shame, they have had high ones of me. But at least things are calmer now, they realize a bit what mess there is and they don't know how to deal with it, neither do I. Perhaps I can try new things, and I should, but I am afraid that things will go so bad with me that the thoughts of suicide come rushing in again, as they have so often like an old friend. And no matter how unhappy my parents are with how bad I am doing, that would destroy them, and I can't do that to them or my sibling.
I am making the most out of keeping myself stable, and I am wasting away in it. But I would have hoped that the romantic partners I have had (or could have in the last case) would peek, at least a bit, under the curtain I have laid in my mind.
Whether I deserve that, I don't know. My thoughts on here are incohesive and I am aware of it. It is like a rope of thoughts in my mind that won't come out. But I am getting tired, and bitter, and I don't deserve to be bitter. Bitterness is fair if you are done harm by others, and that is not the case with me.
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aspergers
|
First things first, I haven't been officially diagnosed with depression, but based on some of the symptoms I have I still decided to post about my problem on this subreddit.
A bit of background: I'm a 20yo male student in my first year of university, and I don't regret choosing this path whatsoever. I don't consider myself "lazy": I love what I study and I've always been passionate about learning new things and do what I had to do (in fact I've always had good grades and studying for long periods of time hasn't been an issue in the past). The thing is, lately I haven't been able to find a motivation to apply to anything (let alone studying) in a meaningful manner. I have basically spent the last few months stuck at home (willingly there are no significant COVID restrictions on going outside in my country) doing nothing at all, with a crazy sleep schedule and this constant, unavoidable anxiety over my exams and my future.
Obviously I have to do something about this situation since I have to prepare 3 exams in less than 3 weeks. I tried doing some things that kinda helped me achieve what I'm supposed to do (going to the library, trying to go outside more frequently and so on) but lately I simply haven't been able to bring myself to do anything that could help make this already critical situation better.
I don't feel sad or anything, I just feel empty. Even if I'm worried about my exams, I just can't do anything about them. I lack motivation and I can't find a reason to do any of this anymore, and I always feel like I just want to lay on my bed and idle forever. I can't even bring myself to go out with my friends when they ask me to.
Can anyone help me identify what's going on with me? Is this just laziness or something more? And do you have any method/advice on how I could solve this issue?
Thank you so much in advance, I hope this is not some useless garbage thread which has nothing to do with depression/mental illness. Sorry for the wall of text too, I feel like I have to give as much context as I can.
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depression
|
Okay I guess this time I will go and clean out my messages, why not.
I start deleting vms from automated calls and junk. Delete this, delete that. Then suddenly I see my grandma's name. She passed away January 2020. I froze, I stopped.... I listened and she sounds exactly the same as the last time I remember talking to her. "It was just me calling back if you need to talk to me give me a call, bye." Grandma I do need to talk to you...
I miss her so much. I haven't missed her this much in a long time.
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ADHD
|
I took prozac and have gotten harm ocd a new type but my ocd before taking the meds was gone basically but I know it can come back but can some meds cause ocd to come back even 2 days after taking them
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OCD
|
I have been getting harassed by a man at my job for a little over 7 months. Sexual harassment I believe as he was asking me out comstantly, trying to buy me food and gifts, trying to give me money, staring at me constantly, telling me he's in love with me, trying to touch or rub my hand, calling me pet names, telling people he was going to take me out, having them ask me when I was going to go to his house, and other stuff. Even after I told him I was not interested and that it made me uncomfortable over and over again and told him to stop. Then I told HR and they talked to him and he still continued. Then I went to HR again and they talked to him again. But this time, I got angry and asked for a different HR person as I did not understand why we were still working so closely together. This new HR did a whole investigation and read all messages and interviewed people and concluded that it was 100% harassment. They then fired him. And now I feel awful. I just wanted him moved to a different shift or I would have moved to a new building. Is this normal to feel shitty and sad for a person that has been making me extremely uncomfortable and miserable at work for over half a year? I feel like I ruined his life and I never wanted to ruin anyone's life, I just didn't want to feel uncomfortable at work anymore.
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depression
|
hey all,
i've been doing fantastic with my health ocd recently; no significant obsessions, no compulsions for the past month!! whenever i felt compulsive urges i've been able to ignore them.
however, something happened to really trigger my worries again, and it feels really hard to resist. i have sadly given in to some reassurance both via a family member and google but i'm determined to fight it off.. i'd love to hear some encouraging words to whip myself back into shape tho (if this kinda stuff is allowed). i don't wanna fall down the rabbit hole again
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OCD
|
I've never really described myself as having OCD previously, but I've long been an extreme perfectionist, to the point of it being malignant. Since last year, though, I've noticed myself increasingly being stressed out about things being minorly damaged. For example, I collect CDs and vinyl. I ordered a copy of a CD and when it got here, while the CD was in great condition, the gatefold got bent on the corner. When I saw that, I suddenly felt an unusual amount of stress and considered sending it back. Or today: I set a VMP record on top of another record's sleeve and the sticky glue from the plastic protector VMP records have that keep the gatefold and any extra items together and the glue pulled off two little spots of blue ink from the sleeve. When I saw that, I had this moment of panic, even though I know it's a miniscule thing that doesn't impact the record or its safety.
​
I don't know if I'm developing symptoms of actual OCD and not just the perfectionism that I've had to work through for my whole life or what, but I was wondering if others stress out from stuff getting damaged, even at a minute, cosmetic level.
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OCD
|
So, I have ptsd from being sexually assaulted. And I am in a ceramics class where we are learning how to wheel throw. My professor was watching me and I was explaining what issues I was having and then he grabbed my wrist without warning in order to move my hand to show me how to do it correctly. I know he was just trying to help me and show me the correct position but he didn’t ask me if he could show me or anything and it really freaked me out. My whole body tensed up and I was trying so hard not to have a bad panic attack in class. I don’t want to go back to that class anymore and when I see him I feel like I can’t breathe and I feel super anxious. I don’t know how I can pass if I don’t feel comfortable asking him for help on my projects. I know I’m overreacting and I know he didn’t mean anything by it. But it’s difficult because in the past I thought people didn’t have bad intentions but they did. What should I do?
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ptsd
|
im on Ritalin 10mg twice a day but the differences are slight if anything... im wondering if its the wrong med for me or if im just expecting too much from it.
how noticable was it for you when you found the right medication?
im trying to figure out what i should tell my psychiatrist.
side note: is back pain a side effect or just a coincidence for me?
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ADHD
|
It's now been 3-4 years since we began my ADHD evaluation & after tons of trouble with healthcare (due to me moving and switching regions) I only got my complete ADD diagnosis around a year ago.
I've been on a waiting list for a while now & growing a little impatient. Can't help but feel a bit helpless.
How long did it take for you?
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ADHD
|
This is being cross posted because there's a few relevant subs, but my partner has adhd and autism. He's been non-verbal (at least with me) the last week and overwhelmed and buggered at the same time. I want to surprise him with his favourite flowers but i can't tell if that's a good idea. I would ask him, but that ruins the surprise if he's okay with it
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ADHD
|
Hi there, I am a 25 year old girl who recently got out of a 7+ year really abusive (Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Financial) relationship. I was diagnosed with PTSD directly associated with the relationship. It has been 7-8 months since I left, and I am still being stalked/harassed.
I want to start eventually dating/being intimate with someone again, but I am finding it impossible. Aside from the fact that my ex is still stalking me, I feel like I am too damaged for anyone to ever be interested in me again. I feel like I have too many problems/baggage that no one will ever be able to accept. My PTSD causes me to have night terrors, flash backs, panic attacks and general fear. I want to be intimate but whenever I even get close to flirting with someone I will have anxiety/panic attacks for the next day or so. I am scared to be in another relationship with an abusive man- I tend to be very timid and stand offish towards all men now which doesn’t exactly help with a future dating life. My mind and body is just so confused- I so badly want to be intimate and feel safe with someone again, but at the same time I can’t seem to get over the fear. I have been interested in only people who I know are unavailable- namely my married boss. It’s a seems like a safe space for me to try and be more outgoing with a man but to know that he would never act on it, which allows me to not have quite as much anxiety.
I would love to one day find someone again, I just know I am more trouble then I am worth. I am in good shape, have a great career, am funny/nice/friendly, and am a generally good looking person which leads to a decent amount of people being interested in me, but I always push them away because I know I will just make their lives worse with my own problems. Has anyone else dealt with anything similar? Any advice? I am scared to be alone forever...
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ptsd
|
I don't know how to help it. It's the "concept of theory of mind" thing where I forget of existences beyond what I can see.
I wouldn't stick around a friend like me. A therapist today told me she had a training on treating people with autism where the framing was encouraging us to "find our tribe" so to speak, and find those who can understand that part about it. I don't want that, I want to improve my behavior.
Idk how brains work, in that we as a society agree this is a developmental disorder, but also it *feels like* we can help it. It looks like we can. This isn't a "this arm is missing it's muscles so clearly it can't move" situation. Where is the line between choice and impairment? Where is the line between what we can improve and what we must accept?
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aspergers
|
So i met this person like the third week of school. She seemed pretty nice and stuff and we had good conversations and I felt happy talking to her. And now after a recent issue and self reflecting, I’m avoiding her
1) I was watching wrestling in our Dorn’s common area. It’s something I Do every Wednesday. On October 6th, I was watching, she came in otp with her mom and was crying. After the conversation ended, I comforted her. A few minutes later, she called wrestling fake. Wrestling is my special interest. And every fan knows that it’s “predetermined” but saying it’s fake to any wrestling fan is a huge no no because wrestlers have broken bones, been paralyzed from the neck down, and even DIED in the ring. And looking back on it. I should’ve been more pissed because she said that after I comforted her. I did point that out to her and she apologized
2. I’m black, she’s White and my hair has grown out since may and it just all puffy. She would ask me if she can touch it. I’ve thought nothing of it. Me going to predominately black schools and hearing classmates talk about how they don’t like it when White ppl asked about/touch their hair. Still, I thought nothing of it. Until she touches it with my headphones and asked me “do you feel that?” It was like a epiphany. The following day I told her to not do it anymore because of the whole racial undertones of it and she obliged.
And 3) last Thursday, I invited her to a movie night in my room with me and another friend. Megamind was the movie btw, first time watching it pretty funny. Anyways, she said she was coming I was fine and excited. It was happening at 9pm because I had a party to go to but it still was gonna happen. I get a call from her an hour beforehand and she said she wasn’t coming because she wanted to watch the conjuring. I responded with a little sad tone because I wasn’t expecting the sudden cancellation but I did tell her “it’s fine go watch the conjuring if you’re free afterwards, you’re welcome to join still” my other friend still came so i was pretty cool with that. Then Saturday, she told me that I made her upset with my reaction as she “expected for me to react to have a lighter tone” I went into my room and said “wow I’m shouldn’t have reacted that way “ then I go “wait a sec. since when is a reaction an expectation?”I don’t wanna say it was gaslighting but it did feel abusive I guess?
and I’ve been avoiding her for a few days and never confronted her about it because I feel like My words will get twisted again. And whenever I think about confronting her, i shake, or get angry, or be burnt out. I still like to think she means well but this Most recent occurrence has really upset me and I’ve been second guessing the friendship.
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aspergers
|
I’m now officially a grocery bagger. This might sound like no big deal, but it’s an accomplishment for me. I have severe mental health problems, and getting a job is something that’s particularly difficult for me.
I’m excited, but also really nervous. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m scared of messing up. I don’t know where to go and stuff.
Edit: I wanted to give a huge thank you to everyone who has commented and shown me support!! It made my day, thank you everyone!! 💜
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OCD
|
I tested for 9 hours Saturday because LSAC couldn't get my accommodations communicated and implemented correctly with ProctorU. Accommodations that LSAC approved. It was the worst day if my life. And I know my score can't be great. Before I submit my complaint I have to decide if I want to cancel my score and retake or keep the score. I only got one waiver. I shouldn't have to make this decision. Has anyone else gotten through this? I'm on hold with them now to try to get a better solution but I am so exhausted and traumatized.
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ADHD
|
Hi
I have severe ptsd, depression, anxiety etc. I talked with my therapist and I think I’m finally going to get a pet. I am severally isolated and alone. I think I’m going to get a rodent because it’s the most low maintenance for me
I have been reading about rats but unsure of which I should look into? Or maybe some of you have them already
I’m looking for - affectionate, but still independent if able, playful, loving, easily to carry and travel, leash train for walks, park etc.
I really want a cuddle and best friend
Any ideas?
Thank you
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depression
|
I desperately need some advice please. I haven’t been diagnosed with adhd but I’m pretty much sure I have it. I’m a 42f and have been diagnosed with BPD, cyclothymia, anxiety and depression. I regard myself as having adhd and am awaiting DX.
My issue at the moment is I work with young adults with autism and I used to love it but recently I’ve been given clients that don’t have many activities and the job is little more than sitting around “babysitting” them while they are at day centres or at home. I’m getting so bored I want to rip my brain out. It’s physically painful and is leaving me so anxious at the thought of being put in that position. I can’t deal with boredom. I just can’t! I want to scream and bang my head against a wall. I literally want to rip my brain out. But I just sit there kind of rocking. Sitting around doing nothing for hours also makes me extremely fatigued and trapped. I want to leave my job now but the company have been absolutely brilliant at supporting me with my MH issues. I don’t really know what I’m asking tbh. I just need support. Does this sound like adhd? I’m in the uk.
|
ADHD
|
When I was a child (circa. ages 6-10), I was diagnosed with ADD and prescribed ritalin (i also tried strattera, from memory they both made me nauseous). I took this during primary school and stopped taking it at the beginning of high school (can't remember why). Since the years have passed, i've completely forgotten about ADD and never thought back on it. It was only until i restumbled upon it through social media and It started clicking and everything started to make sense. I stumbled accross this reddit thread and all these posts are so relatable and it's been such a sign of relief to realise that my everyday 'norm' and chaos is actually because of this.
I've booked in to be reassed as an adult, however my appointment is not until June next year (sigh.. so far away).
I just wanted to understand everyone elses battle with ADD / ADHD and how they feel mentally.
I used to think I was depressed, however I have nothing in my life that is a 'negative', I'm not sad at all and I don't have any thoughts of regret or anything at all. Everything in my life is going amazing which I'm so greatful for.
The easiest ways to describe it for me is having the symptoms of depression, without feeling sad or having any prior issue that would make one depressed, though having the symptoms such as;
\- spontaneous anxiety
\- bad emotion regulation
\- I cannot make my mind up at all. I can't choose what I want for food. I can't choose what movie to watch, this is debilitating. I don't know what I like. I struggle to buy clothes. Anything that involves making a decision is really difficult most of the time.
\- I can't start anything I know I won't finish right away, and when I do start something I barely finish it anyway.
\- If I start something It needs to be done perfectly, and if it isn't 100% completed perfectly It frustrates / annoys me and makes me demotivated to do it.
\- doing 1000 things at once, and being easily distracted without completing said task
\- bad at keeping routine, however once I get into something it's insanely fixated and then just completely stopping once i get over it
\- Nothing excites me - No amount of activity, conversation, buying new things, holidays, etc. The thought of any of these things does nothing for me and doesn't incline me to persue any of these.
\- No interest in anything - everything seems so dull and just 'meh'.
\- If I'm having a conversation I'm listening but nothing is absorbed. It's like i'm gazing into the abyss. In any of these situations I zone out and yawn excessively. I can't remember the names of people well at all, I can't recall what I've just heard in a conversation with much accuracy, I can't recall what I've just read in writing after just reading it with much accuracy. For example, I've just typed this post up and can't rememeber or recall what I've just written without re-reading it.
\- Not enjoying the moment
\- No hobbies, can't get into anything and nothing is interesting at all
\- Brain / mind races however it's empty (if this makes sense it's like lights on no one home??)
\- Absolutely 0 patiences at all and always in a rush. I'm always at 100miles an hour with no stopping. If i'm not at 100miles another, i'm 0 not wanting to do anything, with no energy or motivation at all.
\- Caffeine addict (consuming excessive amounts of coffee without any energy boost / perk up from it - it does nothing)
\- Extremely fidgety and can't sit still
\- forgetful, only way I can do life is with multiple lists, writing things down and using an online calendar
\- Poor motivation & Never have the energy to do anything
\- Poor Sleeper (wake up multiple times a night)
I don't know if this post makes much sense, However I think I am just trying to confirm that my previously diagnosed ADD is still alive and thriving in me and that's what's causing these things in my life.
I'm not to crash hot on taking medication, however I think it's getting to the point where the above is so detrimental to everyday life it may be the best option moving forward.
|
ADHD
|
Im always woke up from a nightmare. My anxiety gone worse. Idk what am i suppose to do. Helpp, intrusive thoughts
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OCD
|
I had a bad thought I don’t know if it was intrusive or if it was something I looked for and invited it all happened so quickly it feels like I went looking I don’t know it happened so quickly
|
OCD
|
Let's figure it out.
The first condition is called depression. A specific subtype called [Atypical depression](https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/atypical-depression)
Rings a bell? Second stuff is called [Chronic Fatigue Syndrome](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-fatigue-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20360490).
Adhd-Pi fellows do you read me?
The badass [Avoidant Personality Disorder](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/avoidant-personality-disorders) (called _fearful avoidant personality attachment style_ in the _attachment theory_).
Here come its siblings, __Anxiety__, __Social Anxiety__ and __Social Phobia__. The anxiety part I believe is more familiar to Adhd-Ph friends, especially when it comes to _preoccupied attachment style_ in attachment theory.
I'm not saying all these stuff are corrlated, there are links, e.g. [this](https://www.verywellhealth.com/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-adhd-whats-the-link-3972913) and [this](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30767106/).
Let's search for clues, draw lines, make hypothesis, rebut them ...
P.S. It's supposed to be a scientific discussion not a proof of concept or a scientific theory.
|
ADHD
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TLDR - I (no ADHD) need help & insight on how to support my sibling who is struggling with their ADHD.
I (26f) have an older brother (32M) who has ADHD / ASD. He's had the diagnosis since we were kids, and when he was younger I vaguely remember he took medication as well as went to therapies. My parents did the best they could, but the town we grew up in was vicious when it came to anyone who seemed “different” or “odd”. The bullying was intense, the kids were assholes. When my brother reached high school, I want to say age 16 he asked my parents to go off his ADHD meds (I want to say it was ritalin) because he didn't like how it felt and they complied on the stipulation he uses the other skills he learned. He did fine for awhile! Cut to now and it's not the case at all. He's having trouble holding down jobs, can't complete simple tasks, and is in deep denial of his ADHD / ASD. Case in point - he lied to us and said he called a counselor who specializes in ADHD when he didn't. Another example I asked and he agreed at 5pm Monday to pick me up at 9am Tuesday to give me ride. He completely forgot. I love my brother - it hurts me to see him struggle, and I guess I'm looking for ways to help him / encourage him to get help? We're close, and we've talked a little about this, mostly just me mentioning that we have made major chemical and medical advancements in regards to medication since the age of Ritalin, and I am very very open with him about my therapy (I see one twice a month). I guess I'm just at a loss. My parents try their best but they're still parents, a little out of touch and can be a little mean. How can I approach him and offer support (outside of shares hobbies - I would already at we have a good relationship otherwise).
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ADHD
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I'm kind of a single mum with on and off father haha I don't know how how to react to her as I am so consumed in my own anxieties and OCD it is impossible to do anything. The father doesn't care he only wants sex. She was an accident and she cries non-stop even if an nappy is clear but no one cares I can't even give her a bath so she is filthy.
If I go to the doctor's which takes 3 weeks to get an appointment, they just give me pills which make me worse so I will never do that. And I have no time for therapy because my parents are dead and and no one else to look after her. It's not that I don't love her but most of the day I resent her as she's crying for no reason.
Does anyone else have this issue and what did you do to stop it because I am completely
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depression
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It’s common for people with Aspergers to have something where they get really interested/ very good in one thing. How do I find this interest, if I have one?
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aspergers
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I'm trying to build up my fitness by going to the gym a bit more, and im not sure if this is just me being unfit or if its ADHD but I just get so bored?? Like I cant stay at the same speed on the treadmill for more than 5 minutes and find it much more enjoyable to alternate between sprinting and running. Same goes for changing equipment every 10 minutes, I just get bored.
Anyone else had this issue?
(Also should mention I cant listen to music since I use a military gym so you gotta keep headphones off in case of an alarm)p
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ADHD
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I am 14 years old, and I have dealt with I’m pretty sure is OCD for about the last 2 years. I have always had anxiety as that runs in the family, and about a year and a half ago, I was depressed. Ive beaten my depression, but it’s gotten to the point where my OCD is destroying my physical life. I can’t go to places I want because my OCD led to a physical problem. The physical healing should take only 3-4 weeks as I have an appointment for it in 3 days, but it’s been about 20 days since I’ve tried to get my OCD treatment started but they still haven’t scheduled an appointment, and the treatment alone should take a few months from what I’ve seen on here. I have thoughts about stuff I don’t want to think about and it eventually effects me physically, I’m a germophobe and I washed my hands to the point where my hands would bleed from being chapped, but I’d say I’ve recovered from it and found my ways around it, I also have great memory but I tend to double check a LOT, and what my mom calls OCD, I feel it’s just me being aware and making sure I’m safe. I’d like to take in some advice about OCD medications or tips. Any advice is appreciated.
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OCD
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I feel like I’m constantly wrestling with this disorder. As soon as I feel I’ve climbed one mountain, another appears on the horizon and my heart just sinks into the pit of my stomach. It’s devastating really. But when I’m in a good mindset, it all just seems so small and insignificant. I wish I could be that way all the time. How does OCD have the power to push my head back under water again and again?
Also, if anyone has advice for not assurance seeking - I do it inside my head like a little internal battle - please let me know. Sitting with thoughts gives me anxiety. I don’t want to think.
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OCD
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How to improve on time management? It seems that I put in a lot of hours, but someone complains I take more time to complete things?
It seems as if I'm not wasting time, since I use so many hours. But perhaps it's going to wrong places?
A particular habit is e.g. having to recheck many times that everything is "near faultless". My psychiatrist has suggested that my quality standards may be overly high. But I have troubles adapting, because I appreciate good quality and doing less feels like "taking shortcuts".
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OCD
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I've started dealing with the last thing left from my OCD, last OCD phobia. I’ve written about the last OCD thing that bothers me. . It’s a strong fear of buying, using or even getting as a gift perfume. Yeah, I am really afraid of it. I’ve just ordered it, and I hope that I will overcome it. And will be free from OCD phobias, so completely free from OCD (because I don’t do compulsions and obsessions don’t bother me). It seems it won’t be easy. I already have my muscles tensioned, I’m anxious. I've decided to order it because it bothers me when I thinking of perfume and my anxiety reises and I want to be completely free because I don't understand the think why you can't be completely free from it - if OCD can't influence the really so it mustn't do it in all cases, must it? Wish me good luck;)
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OCD
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I live in a college town, and as a result, many of my peers have fake adhd diagnoses so that they can sell adderall. I started struggling with school and mental health and sought a therapist, and in the first appointment she suggested I seek testing for ADHD. The wait for a test was close to a year for every clinic, and I put myself on the waiting list for all of them. In that year, I began getting anxiety attacks, because in order to get insurance to cover the help I needed, I desperately needed to get a diagnosis. I also had conversations on this subreddit, as well as with ADHD friends, who shared stories about shitty testers that refused diagnosis for various dumb reasons. So I talked to some dealer friends on where they got diagnosed, and was coached on exactly what to say to the doctor. I went to an appointment at one of the easier places, and said what I was coached to. I also did a computer attention span test for it, which I intentionally failed. The rest of the objective activities I answered honestly, however, and I received my diagnosis.
But where I’m struggling at the moment is whether or not my ADHD is real. I definite struggle with depressive symptoms and some ADHD symptoms, but I can’t help but wonder if my diagnosis is legitimate. This nagging feeling has impacted my mental health and self image, as well as influencing my current relationship with my prescriptions. I might be a fraud, and this is stolen valor, essentially.
Any thoughts, encouragement, advice, opinions (good or bad) are appreciated.
TL;DR: was anxious about ADHD testing and so I went to the doctor that addy dealers get fake diagnoses, and now I feel like an imposter.
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ADHD
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Man it’s tough sometimes having this burden that I shouldn’t have to have.
The fear of seeing something online that triggers old neural networks setting me off in panic.
It did just recently night before a uni presentation leaving my mind absolutely fried (little sleep didn’t help either) during the presentation doing pretty bad getting advice to “improve my public speaking skills” when it was really just mainly my mind being elsewhere.
I’ve taken a slightly different approach as my great new therapist who specifies in ocd. That is too expect the doubt. It’s still tough to frame everything in a way my mind can be at peace at even accepting the doubt. It almost feels at some points that the world is collapsing around me.
Man it just feels so scary so intense to fear about what is the nature of things.
I wish I never made the mistake of digging myself this whole I didn’t need to dig.
I can dig out of this hole im sure this new strategy of accepting the unknown can help I’m also meditating twice a day now, exercising every day (alternating weights / cardio so not overdoing my body) and making sure I get good sleep.
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OCD
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For example I’ll get my sleep pattern back in order and feel a lot better as a result and then almost defiantly I will just start staying up until 5am again. It’s the same with exercise, diet, meditation, reading, and any other routine.
It’s as though firstly it always takes effort and never becomes easier, and secondly part of me hates feeling imprisoned by a routine and would rather live in formless chaos.
Do you guys struggle here as well?
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ADHD
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I will first say, I am not going to kill myself because I know things will get better, and I have so many options to continue to heal but with that being said, I work at a hospital and often deal with anesthesia drugs (not controlled) such as atropine, epinephrine, naloxone, and propofol. I often see anesthesiologist use propofol and how it just knocks the patient out instantly and then their O2 drops from 100% to 95% within 10 seconds unless they get the ventilator hooked up. But how easy it would be to push 20mg of propofol and die. It would be so easy. So painless.
Once again I’m not suicidal but for the first time in my life I’m having suicidal ideation. Trying to find a inpatient treatment place right now. If anyone has any good options let me know (a place for young adults - I am 22)
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depression
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basically over a month ago now my ex friend we'll call B
basically she sent me a massage to meet at nine in the morning while I was still asleep, which she knew because she knows I get up at twelve, so I only saw the message when I woke up and I replied with "kinda yeah" because I had to do something at four.
we hadn't seen eachother since January shed just been busy with her other friends and never invited me out anymore, she say things like "we need to meet soon!" and "I miss u" and such but she never actually invited me out.
I struggle with texting people first. hardly ever do it it makes me anxious and B knows that so if I didn't text her first she would usually do it.
but she just stopped for like two weeks at a time
and when I questioned her about it she would say "oh well I hardly text anyone so it's not just you" and then go out with her mates every other day, so how r u meeting them if you're not talking to anyone?
yea but anyway after I replied to her massage she just said "oh ok" and never replied to any of my messages (which I sent a lot of them because I wanted to meet and was confused if we were or not) for two days.
so I messaged her again saying what gives because I had just seen her post on her story with her other friends...
and she just said "why are you upset? am I not allowed to meet my other friends?" and I said yeah but you never got back to me I've been waiting two days we were supposed to meet and you just ignored me
she said she was busy
but she had opened my messaged so if u have the time to open then a quick reply isn't hard.
but yeah anyway long story short I asked her to apologize and she gaslight me into apologizing for being upset about it.
and my boyfriend messaged her telling her to get it together and be nice and apologize to which she told her mum??? she told her mum on me? so we had this whole preschool thing where her mum called my mum omfg
and then my mum screamed at me for "ruining her weekend" (it was my birthday btw) and B's mum literally threatened me over the phone
it just wasn't fun and eveyone was against me even though I was the one that got hurt.
anyway.she got away Scott free and is still meeting friends and stuff living her life while I have to be thinking about what happened over and over for over a month and it's made my anxiety so bad. I can't stop thinking about it because I have zero closure.
and today she came and picked up her coat and acted like nothing happened and I messaged her asking for some closure and she just replied with "hope you're okay, take care"
so I just said I'm not okay but thanks anyway
so yea
I'm not gonna able to forget about this because my OCD won't let me because I need closure. so that's fun.
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OCD
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I definitely need advice. I love giving gifts it’s one of my favorite things to do! However it’s easiest for me to just do it spontaneously several times throughout a year to appreciate loved ones. The issue is at Christmas time when it’s a deadline I get so overwhelmed. it’s like my brain can’t organize all of the different gifts I must come up with and give to people. I try writing lists but even once I have that figured out I struggle being able to order or buy them or make a handmade gift. I’m trying to use a friend as a body double soon but I’m afraid even with lists I’ll still struggle. Shopping is very difficult and it feels like a wall of procrastination and anxiety is blocking me from ordering/crafting. I’m unsure how to work around this issue and my meds aren’t helping.
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ADHD
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I lunge forwards and bob my head back and forth like a pigeon when I walk. I’ve gone through periods of my life where I try to consciously fix it but I’ve never been successful. If you’ve fixed your walk, please give pointers!
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aspergers
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My wife and I have been together for nine years (married two years ago). She says she often doesn’t feel wanted by me because I rarely take initiative to do fun or intimate things with her. Or she doesn’t feel like I’m “present” sometimes when we have cuddle together (i.e. last night I reached over to pet the cat while she and I were cuddling in bed). I’m not officially diagnosed yet but I’m working on it and hope to find out next month after an eval.
I just feel so scattered and overwhelmed and at a loss because she’s my soulmate and I feel like I’ve failed her as a partner because I’m bad at giving her what she needs because my brain just doesn’t work that way, and she has a tough time understanding why I can’t do what she needs me to do as her husband. Hoping to start couples therapy soon, but idk what to do in the meantime.
Sorry for rambling. Just need to get it off my chest
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ADHD
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I was diagnosed with ptsd from sexual abuse trauma when I was 16. I've been struggling lately now that my "episodes" have a name. I never thought of ptsd in the way that I experience it. I never knew it to be so debilitating that it causes me to almost reset my mood every 30 minutes. I've recently found that water and getting wet trigger me. I have no clue why, I want to know what others do to deal with trauma responses. Thanks in advance.
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ptsd
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I've been thinking I've got OCD, and besides the other issues, this is one I've noticed but haven't seen talked about. So I'm wondering, does anyone here ever have issues with visualizing things? The way I'd describe it is I can't visualize something fully correctly and I get mad over it and basically obsess over it until I can visualize it 100% correctly, which can last for a few hours, days, and even months.
Example: A striped ball. I can think about the striped ball fine, but if I notice the colors are in a very specific pattern, I try to visualize it in those patterns exactly, and if I can't do it, I keep trying and trying to visualize it correctly until I can do it.
Does any of this sound related to ocd, anything else, or am I just especially weird?
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OCD
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Hi everybody!
5-second version: I have no facial expressions or tone of voice? Lol! Suggestions/tips/help please? Thank you!
FULL: I am one of those autistic people to whom making facial expressions that correspond to my emotions + modulating my tone of voice (oh and timing! I somehow always pause in the wrong places or talk too fast or slow!) do not come easily. I'd love some input on how I can work on this and come across as more expressive.
To be clear, I'm not trying to act NT (although honestly, I don't blame anybody on the spectrum who wants to just blend in). I like my quirky autistic personality and the way I notice little details and my laser-focus and my intense enthusiasm for random things.
The voice/expression thing is something I want for my own sake. I totally respect that there's lots of autistic people who are fine with their expressions and tone of voice the way they are, and that's great - I would never tell anyone to change themselves.
This is just for me personally. My voice in particular doesn't sound like \*me\*, if that makes sense. It's like what I want it to sound like isn't coming out. I hear the happiness or w/e in my head and then am surprised when it doesn't come across. I would like to be able to deliver compliments with the enthusiasm I feel, for example. I'm tired of trying to say "That dress is SO CUTE!" and having it come out "uhthatdressisuhcute" lol. It's so frustrating when your tone contradicts what you say and makes people read things you didn't intend into your statements. Or like, I'll use work-voice when I'm hanging out with friends or friends-voice when I'm at work. And then people think I'm being stuck-up/disrespectful/whatever.
Ironically, I have been taking voice (mostly singing) lessons for \~10 years. It has definitely helped a lot in that I have control over my voice, speak more clearly and don't mumble, but I'm still not where I'd like to be. I do a lot of acting and I'm always getting the note that I need more emotion in my voice, which is maddening because that's exactly what I'm already trying super hard to do! \^\^
Does anyone have any tips for this? I would appreciate it soooo much! Thank you!
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aspergers
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M19, i was adopted at 3 months from kazakhstan to my awesome family. my mom and dad r both white but im a dark skinned asian. i struggle so much to find any identity in myself. racial or personal. i dont want to learn about anything kazakh. even typing the word out makes my chest tense up and burn. i hate being adopted. i wish i was just my parents kid not some orphan with zero clue about their origin. i dont want to look into it. it terrifies me.
i also failed all 3 semesters of college and still attending my school. i havent told my parents yet bc im so fucking ashamed of myself. i have no excuse, i just didnt do any work. i couldnt handle all the lonely nights. i couldnt even eat bc i was so scared to interact with ppl. my depression is horrible. to help cope with it ive been looking into philosophy to find a higher truth to this world and realized that nothing matters besides what u make of it. how bullshit is that. im scared of meaninglessness, im horrified by death, i hate my life so much. i just want to succeed but i cant fight my demons about my adoption.
i never rly cared for it until i went to college and every single person i met kept on asking about my race. like one of the first questions most of the time. again not an offensive question but for my situation it just hurts to even say the name of the country im from. ive been in america my whole life. everything ive known is from america and my parents. and now i let my parents down by flunking everything. im just such a sad lump of failure. i still have fight in me. i know i can do it i just need to tell them the truth. but im so scared, i havent slept for 40 hours bc of the thought about telling them. im so ashamed.
my friends even stopped talking to me bc i "slowed them down". which i honestly dont blame them for.
my first semester in college i saved a kids life from suicide bc he wanted to jump off of a balcony. i just grabbed him as hard as i could begging for him to not do it for 15 minutes making sure he wouldnt jump but he kept on wanting to die and it was like a tug of war battle to save him. i got ptsd from that moment which just turned me into a turtle hiding inside their shell. it started my existential crisis which is now a common part of my thinking process. i thought i shouldnt influence who lives or dies. im not a divine being. was it wrong to save him? i dont want to be a factor for someones own life. its too fucking scary. it was a nightmare. i hate thinking so deeply about the world and meaning and life and being fucking shit at it. im just so sad but i have a little spark in me that still wants to pursue and comeback. its just all too much. i just want to wake up one day and just not panic every thinking second.
tl;dr: adopted kid has no personal or racial identity and is trying to deal with the struggles of it. first semester of college i saved a persons life from suicide and it gave me ptsd and an existential crisis. i continued college and failed the next 2 semesters. i havent told my parents yet and i am petrified and ashamed.
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depression
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So i am constantly dissasociating, i cant separate reality from dreamimg and its starting to bug me out, but i started haning out with this girl from my class and that was fine and all, but with The minimal amount of social encounters i have had and together with my emotional numbness i dont know how to react or feel and its ruining it for me although there isnt much to ruin. We spent an entire night together (not sexual) but i thought that she was into me and now im really paranoid over The fact that i dont know what feeling emotions is anymore. Anyone Who knows how to stop being emotionally numb?
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ptsd
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I’m supposed to be graduating in December, but things aren’t looking too bright. I’ve been experiencing a severe depressive episode for about a month now and haven’t been to class. I’ve kept in touch with my professors who’ve been understanding. I also have accommodations. I’m still worried about failing and having to go back in the spring which, not to be dramatic, feels like a death sentence. I’ve barely made it this far, and I have no idea how I’ll make it if I fail a class. Please send me good vibes, prayers, luck, whatever that I’m able to graduate on time!
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depression
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Those who have experiences with ERP therapy, can you please share your experience? Not much info on the internet. Did it really help you? Were the begginings the worst? Etc..
appreciate all the responses!
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OCD
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My ADHD was raging to the point that I could not physically pay attention to my work. To be fair, I got less than an ideal amount of sleep last night—which tends to have really detrimental affects on my focus. I took my Vyvanse, but everything was taking me hours longer than it should . . . So rather than bill my clients for that time I decided it was best to step away and get back to it tomorrow. I think sometimes we’re told to work through it, but sometimes that is just not possible. ADHD is a disability, and we should not be hard on ourselves for taking care of ourselves and accepting our limitations when they arise.
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ADHD
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Just for reference, I'm a 22-year-old female and I have been undiagnosed for most of my life. I'm now just starting to seek help for my ADHD.
I would say my condition has progressed past mild, and I am struggling to hang onto something. I honestly don't know how I made it this far, to be honest. My impulsive spending has left me broke. And I cry thinking of how much money I spent on useless stuff I don't need and won't make me happy. I tend to self-destruct at the smallest thing. I can't see the good in life over my insecurities. I struggle to do basic tasks, and can't finish anything. I can always depend on myself screwing up to the point where I place bets on how long it will take me to mess up. I push away those I love because I'm scared of hurting them. My boyfriend is getting the worse of it and he is very close to leaving me because my actions are causing him so many problems. I can't blame him. I would leave me too.
I know I'm not alone in feeling like this. I know people struggle with issues like this every day. Even still I feel so alone. No one else around me feels the pain I deal with every day. They don't struggle to get out of bed, they don't dread the morning light and the horrors of a new day. They don't have to worry about what may come out of their mouth.
The worst part about it is this isn't me. My ADHD isn't who I am. I'm not cruel. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to be happy and have a meaningful life. Everyone says to be strong and conquer your enemies. How can you conquer your enemies if you are your own worst enemy? I'm not sure what I have to do to keep going, but I know I have very little time left to do something. The sober part of my brain is telling me I'm doing the right thing, but my demons say it's not worth the trouble. My will is breaking.
Thank you for spending the time to read this post. I appreciate it.
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ADHD
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Just to make it clear, I’m not actually suicidal because I don’t and probably never will have the balls to do it. Also I can’t even consider it until my parents pass away, they’ve lost people to suicide and I don’t want to do that to them.
But I imagine doing it pretty much every day. It’s like a brief moment of bliss honestly. But obviously I really want/need to stop because it just stays on my mind.
Does anyone have any advice on how to stop or slow down these day dreams? Staying busy is usually good advice but most of the time even when I’m doing things I still get those thoughts.
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depression
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As I'm sure some of you must feel as well, I just can't keep seeing therapists that are not prepared to help me and consequently make me feel worse. I'm in the NY/NJ area please if anyone could help me find someone to help me
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ptsd
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I just am getting so tired of these thoughts and battling every single day with either something new or something old, recently ive been getting constant anxiety over my thoughts of "hey what if you wanted to type the words "child porn" into chat or type it in a Google search and I know I dont have an attraction to kids, but its like what if I typed it in and then I start to think of all the things that could go wrong and I overthink every scenario and worry im a terrible person, ive been on prozac 40mg and it was helping and ive been going to a therapist but some days im just crippled by my thoughts and urges and I dont want to leave bed and I just hate it
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OCD
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i haven't showered in five days, and i wouldn't even do anything about it if it wasn't pointed out to me because i dont even recognize that so much time passed. i never do my laundry. im 21F, i never do any sort of makeup routine or pluck my eyebrows or shave or do anything but then feel waves of self loathing when I look at a mirror and i just look hairy and disgusting. my dog literally shit under my bed and i didn't even notice until weeks later and even then i didn't clean it immediately. what the fuck kind of person does this? i hate myself so much when i compare myself to my peers or even my sisters but i don't DO anything to fix it except lay in my own fucking filth. im only taking TWO classes and im falling behind in both of them. i want so badly to be pretty and healthy and NORMAL but let's be real. what kind of normal person lives like this.
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depression
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My Dreams keep on getting worse, I was doing emdr with my therapist until health care provider insurance changed so then I couldn’t continue working with her. I got worse again and I just cant seem to stop I cannot stop reliving those days and its torture Its these times I feel worthless and unloved I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore...
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ptsd
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Our 7 year old was on the receiving end of a minor bullying incident back in Feb and has since been struggling with almost continuous daily nausea and headaches. He was checked by multiple GP & hospital physicians for physical causes, but the diagnosis is that he's suffering from severe anxiety, depression, and possibly PTSD. His nausea and headache symptoms are strongest when he's preparing to go to school or at school, and weakest when he's away from school and distracted by activities.
More recently, he's had five cognitive behavioural therapy sessions with a psychologist, which has so far been unsuccessful. We've also tried physical exercise, and breathing, relaxation, and meditation exercises to no avail.
He was a regular happy boy before the bullying incident and we're increasingly desperate to get him back to how he used to be.
Has anyone been through this before and had any success in treating it?
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ptsd
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I can't stop feeling like shit no matter what I do. Nobody cares about me, not even me. I hate myself more than anyone else ever could.
Every time I try to look at the better side of things, every time I try to stay positive, it just doesn't fucking work. Something always happens or goes wrong and just tosses a big fat wrench in everything.
I don't know what to do, or where to go, but I'm tired as hell. Everything I thought would help just makes things worse, and everything I thought I hated, I threw away and didn't know it was what I needed from the start.
I know there's nothing wrong with me. I could have all the happiness in the world if my head would just stop trying to eat me alive long enough to let me reach out and grab it.
I'm angry, sad, lonely, and most of all, lost.
I AM my problem. It's MY fault I'm so miserable, but I can't stop myself. I don't know why. Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to feel this way. It's normal now. To the point where the slightest inkling of contempt shows itself to me, it doesn't feel right.
I need help. I need help or I won't be here much longer. The problem stands that I don't WANT help. I want to want it so bad, but it feels like I can't. I feel so weak for letting myself get to this point. What a waste of good air I turned out to be.
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depression
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So I just got done playing Struggle for Catan (which is a card game where you steal resources and what not to move on in the game). And I just realized that people taking my resources is a trigger for me. I think it’s that I am playing with friends so I am trusting them to have my back but then when they steal resources from me (which is part of the game) it becomes an instant trigger, and I feel like they betrayed trust. I know it’s a game but the feelings are real and I get visibility irritable.
Should I just stop playing these kinds of card games to avoid this trigger and looking like an idiot or should I just slowly try to build a tolerance. I would like to be able to enjoy a game night without becoming upset and feeling triggered.
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ptsd
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*TLDR: My Grandpa died of dementia this week and I feel so much more hopeless about mental health and my future. Defeat is starting to feel like rage for constantly failing at adulthood and nothing seems stable anymore.*
.
.
.
.
Every day… I keep fucking it up. I don’t know what to do or what not to do. Prioritizing my To-Do list items is helpful occasionally but usually not. Unless something is absolutely urgent, I do not get a fucking thing done because I am CONSTANTLY stuck in a paralysis of indecision and forgetfulness and I literally can’t make it fucking stop. I am ALWAYS forgetting things and thus I hesitate to do anything because I’m worried there’s something i’m forgetting. I can’t make decisions about anything.
This is been going on for a year after losing my last job to poor time management. At this point I think the cumulative day-after-day frustration of cyclical defeat has lately started to feel like rage and less like my usual sadness. I start feeling an underlying urge to throw a tantrum and punch things (not people) or throw my phone at the ground at full force. I don’t actually act out in that way (except one time where I punched a cardboard box in my car), but certainly feel like it more often lately.
I’m typing this rant because I have the urge right now after another day of over-ambition followed by total disappointment.
I’ve always been pretty mellow/reserved and definitely not the type to have urges of rage but this phase of being broke, depressed, job insecure, socially insecure (thus lonely) and THEN seeing my grandpa die of dementia after procrastinating on visiting him for years is really getting me down.
I had therapy a few weeks at earlier this year but that didn’t last because I missed a Betterhelp payment and became indecisive on choosing a therapist. I am just getting overwhelmed with the amount of fuckups I have to fix in my life and I just barely turned 27 a week ago before my grandpa died. I have never felt as hopeless as I’ve been feeling this holiday season. WOW I really needed to write all that. Thanks for reading.
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ADHD
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I first encountered this community in 2015 when I had the worst time of my life dealing with a horrible obsession which was ruining my life, took me long enough but I managed to improve my life in several different ways since then, I became better at school, a pianist, discovered philosophy, and my life was on the right track.
But now I'm here again, and I don't know what to do.
I am once again a prisoner of this monster, and the most frustrating part is that I can get out of it, I know exactly what to do, what my problem is, and yet I still don't do it, I can't move on with my life, it's taking away the things I love and I'm just standing here, watching it, terrified of making a single move because that would mean finally taking action, I hate myself for being this weak, I've come this far and yet I'm here, again, fully capable of fighting this, yet unwilling to stop it, I hate it, I bate myself for being this afraid of moving on. I hate it so much, I hate seeing my family and friends suffering, running out of compassion for me, it would be so easy for me to just do this one thing, something I have done before, and still I fucking fail. I hate everything right now.
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OCD
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First time in my life I feel suicidal. She was the only thing in my life. I have severe social anxiety. She gave me no choice but to brake up with her. Now I am alone. I hope this feeling stops. Can't do this. Need help.
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depression
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Hi all, not diagnosed but have been having symptoms that interfere with my life for at least 2 years now. I'm not one of those people who experiences compulsions so overtly, and I often wonder if something is or isn't a compulsion. What I do is a lot of obsessing, a lot of rumination, and tons of 'checking feelings'. I check my responses to certain phrases, certain visuals or situations (all related to different themes) constantly. Would this be classed as a compulsion? Or something separate? I'm dxed with other mental issues so I'm aware that my symptoms could just be aspects of those combining with eachother.
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OCD
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My therapist said today that I need to be an adult and put in effort to make a choice. Because he believes I just don't make an effort and that he knows I can do better. But I feel like I do try, I do choose. I'm just really bad at it. And I freeze.
The problem is, I don't know what I can do to describe that. It maybe I am just the problem in my way. I have been working on not seeking certainty. But I don't know why I can't just do it. Like I want to. But I haven't. I just sit and stare at the wall. I have class work to do but I just haven't done it. I want to. But I just stare at the work.
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ADHD
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I have been applying for jobs and noticed that I received far fewer replies (essentially 0) when I do the"voluntary self-identification of disability" compared to when I don't. It is a small sample size (n\~60), but I wonder if anyone noticed something similar (I'd be interested to have more data). I don't have experience applying, is it just a way to filter out people? For people with jobs, how/when did you disclose?
Edit: For context I'm applying in U.S. to tech-related jobs.
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aspergers
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I used to think I just had a brain that was better at dealing with things visually, but now that I look back and know more about how my brain works I thought, is this ADHD? Or was it just a way my brain learned to cope with processing information after many failed attempts growing up trying to think complex problems through in my head?
Also, I kinda thought it was cause I was left handed, but I dunno. Curious though, what was everyone else's experience here?
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ADHD
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Hello all, so I was diagnosed as an adult with high functioning ASD (Aspergers) around a year ago. I am always to nervous to post on here as I don’t want to be annoying or weird but I find seeing other’s posts more therapeutic than actual therapy as I don’t feel alone for once. I should probably mention I have came close to posting in here tons of times over the past few months since I have a lot of crazy issues, some being severe co-occurring mental health disorders others being social/family problems and others being some uniquely terrible situations I am in that I feel as though nobody even in here will identify with? Anyways I really hope I don’t bother anyone in here and if I should just delete this let me know.
Finally to get to my certain issue that has been occurring just as of recently (and I will try not to combine my other issues with it to not confuse anyone). When I have been waking up in the mornings my light sensitivity has been so bad that even with extra darkening shades in my bedroom and with my eyes closed I will have severe pain, will even wake up for a minute or so just to put a blanket or two over my face. My eyes also feel extremely strained. I was wondering if this was possibly something else that other people have been facing, as I have always had light sensitivities among other sensory issues but it has been really terrible recently specifically in the mornings which it hasn’t always been. I guess I’m just worried that it could be another issue that is more serious and if so should get it checked out?
To conclude, I apologize for making this post terribly long I just happen to be very talented when it comes rambling. If you all think it is okay to start posting my other issues regarding Aspergers and other things sort of related that have been absolutely ruining my life, I will probably make another Reddit account that will be less tied to me (I know it would be near impossible to make a completely anonymous account where I could post my specifics and not be identified by someone I might know due to some crazy circumstances in my life that have ruined me; even with VM’s, VPN’s, multiple secure browsers, the account behind multiple emails including a protonmail, and obfuscation of some of the stories I would tell/ask for life advice on). But at least if I took some measures it would be much less tied to me and I could possibly get some help from you all and try to help others as much as I can.
Thank you to anyone who spent their time reading this, or commenting, or even for being part of this subreddit as it makes me feel not alone for once.
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aspergers
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It sucks. We've been working so hard for a year getting our new house constructed, and we've been living in an apartment for a year, before that we were taking refuge in our uncle's house. I told myself that I would never invite anyone, not for any selfish reason, but just because I wanted this house to be exclusive to my family. Just 2 weeks ago, this house was ready for us to move in. It was a new beginning. I finally stopped having Germaphobic and Intrusive OCD thoughts and stop my rituals. It was the best moment of my life because for once, I felt so free I could do everything I ever wanted, I felt so careless. I felt so happy with life, I enjoyed it so much. A week passes by, and an asshole who is no longer my friend decides to invite himself over and checks out every part of my house, including my bedroom. At that moment, I felt lost, grief, sadness. I felt dead. One year of hard work, all for nothing. I've been struggling with OCD for so long, I just wanted a break. I can't get a break. I just want something exclusive to myself, and to my family only. No matter what I do, everything just falls apart. What felt like paradise soon became hell. I just want to die. I can't be free with this life.
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OCD
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I procrastinated to set an control appointment with my psychiatrist to have a new prescription for a few weeks. I just went and had my prescription. But in every pharmacy I went today, they didn't have my meds in stock and it takes a month to have them. I have exams in three weeks and only for about 1.5 weeks of meds. Guess I'll have to do without them (again), or half dosage.
Tip for everyone (and myself) : don't procrastinate (great tip for ADHDers isn't ?).
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ADHD
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Man it’s a dead giveaway when I’ve had a bad ADHD week, because my beard progressively gets patchier and patchier until I start looking like a damn leper. I HATE that I do it. I actively resist but it’s almost a visceral response now when I’m at my desk. Sorry beard, I didn’t mean to hurt u 🥺.
But I’ve always been a hardcore fidgeter, so this one fits right in with all the other lovely qualities of mine like:
- biting my lips and cheeks off,
- biting/filing(?) my nails with my teeth,
- vigorously bouncing my leg,
- tapping my pen,
- clicking my pen,
- taking my pen apart and putting it back together again,
- spinning in my chair,
- leaning back in my chair,
- cracking my knuckles
- ……..
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ADHD
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Do you find that being autistic or Aspergic helps or hinders you in your work?
How? Why?
How do you counteract these things?
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aspergers
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The only way I can describe this is as if I’m in a “manic” state, but not really. I’ll overfixate on something I’m really into for the next couple hours or the next day.
For instance, right now I’m over fixating on playing video games. I’ll do it to death for the next day. I feel like I can keep going without the need to sleep. The same goes for if I start a “project”. If I’m interested in movies/drawing/music/social media that day, I’ll do it for the next 24 hours nonstop with only a couple bathroom breaks, because I’m so fixated on doing it, that my mind and body doesn’t realize I need to go to the bathroom or eat.
I’m sure I can’t be the only one. Today I was playing a very simple game, with no story that needed to be followed, that I started at 9am and the next thing I know, it’s currently 3am, going on 4am and I had absolutely no idea. I haven’t eaten yet or really even been to the bathroom.
Thoughts?
*This is in no way asking for a diagnosis. I always consult with a doctor for proper treatment if necessary*
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ADHD
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Does anyone else feel like they know what their future obsessions will be?
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OCD
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i have a very important exam tomorrow and i suddenly started feeling all fogged up. i couldn’t understand anything or make sense of anything. it made me anxious, and now i’m constantly checking and obsessing over it. obviously not being able to study. can someone advice me as to how to self soothe?
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OCD
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So uhh hello people,
A few months ago ive been diagnosed with collective / combined type
Could someone explain what it means on an ADHD basis.
I understand it means im mental but what im wanting to understand is what it affects.
Why am i even asking this i know what t affects but cant put it into words.
Apologies :)
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ADHD
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There's been a lot of talk as to ASD about how they are equal to the rest of society and not less than which in principle is completely valid. But in practice, it flows into ASD as being just different abled or seeing the world differently. Which is in and of itself an inherent problem since it legit is equivalent to calling blindness or deafness different ways of seeing or hearing. Not to mention ignoring that ASD includes those low functioning to the point they need soft pads, helmets and diapers well into adulthood and around the clock care.
​
But even for how well functioning I am right now I'm in a situation where my desire to be rid of this is out of control and my ability to see myself as equal is not there. The list of things I can't do right now due to it, and may never be able to, are:
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Tell if prospective friends, partners or other contacts see genuine value in me or just want to drain me, exploit my nature or if I'm seen as genuinely one of them at all. With future partners, same goes for identifying whose toxic and whose healthy to be around.
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Be able to take a leadership role of any kind, professionally or personally.
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Be able to defend and protect myself physically, or defend others in a situation where someone is being physically threatened, if needed, even if I know sufficient self defense maneuvers.
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Be able to learn any sort of new skill, physical or mental, including languages, computers or new sports, at the same pace as NTs
Be able to talk clearly when agitated
Be able to stop myself from creating paracosms for the purpose of escapism and be able to just stay in the moment
Be able to show auras of confidence when needed
As a partial list. So this is to be sure a sort of venting of sorts but also if this can be overcome and if this applies to ASD at large. And how can it be addressed when it comes to the need fo rthose with ASD to be treated of it.
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aspergers
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I have OCD and so does my younger brother. His is really bad right now, and our parents are considering getting a dog to help him. He is very sweet and loving toward animals, so we are thinking it might be something to make him happy. I have always believed that taking care of others (people or animals) in some way has helped my OCD, and I'd like to know if anyone else has experience with this. Thank you in advance!
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OCD
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If I had a gun it would be so easy. Just pull the trigger and it's over.
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depression
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I've been diagnosed with OCD but I'm not getting treatment yet. I'm in the process of getting a therapist, but for now I'm without one. I was wondering if anyone had any advice with a recent situation.
One of the things that my OCD focuses on is clothes, and when people touch + wear them without me knowing. I hate it.
Recently, a family member of mine was wearing a pair of pants i really like. Not only that, but I was planning to wear them soon. I freaked out upon seeing this, to tears, and felt irrationally furious with them. My brain told me they should have asked who they belonged to before putting them on, that it was their fault, and they knew how upset i would be if i found out someone was wearing my clothes.
I feel upset with them because they knew the pants didn't belong to themselves, but didn't ask around to see who they belonged to (plus i wear them very often). These are all things that are probably unnecessary for just a pair of pants and I wish I wasn't bothered by something like this, I know how hard it must be for my family too.
The reason I don't like people wearing my clothes comes from intrusive thoughts; the idea that they were inside those clothes and I don't like people touching me so having someone wear my clothes makes me think that I'm touching where they were. I know how dramatic I look but I get such disturbing thoughts with this kind of thing that its become a big deal to me. I don't know how to take this, I feel ashamed for getting mad at them and I feel like it could have been avoided. I wish I didnt automatically react like that and I feel guilty for reacting that way. Does anyone have tips on how to get over these particular thoughts/deal with this kind of situation? Can anyone relate? Even small things are appreciated.
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OCD
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Hey, Diagnosed OCD patient here.
It's been a long run for me since I've had this... well, disorder. My guess is that it started in January, and it got way worse in May. Here's what went wrong:
I started having more control over my (undiagnosed) OCD back in April, yet something I did changed my life even more.
I sat on my weight scale. Yes, that is true. That triggered another type of my OCD. After that, I went to several psychologists since going back to school triggered some sort of PTSD in me.
After months of research, and thinking about giving it another search today, I have finally found my symptom. Transformation obsession.
There's not really much information about it online, yet this is exactly what I've had for the past... six months? No psychologist ever diagnosed me with this.
So my question is, how many of you have this problem? And if you do, is there an actual treatment for it?
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OCD
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I'm tired of no one understanding unless they experience it themselves.
I'm tired of the mental and physical pain and torment.
I'm tired of people pretending to have OCD for attention.
I'm tired of the intrusive thoughts.
I'm tired of feeling guilty about everything I do and say.
I'm tired of the compulsions.
I'm tired of the rumination.
I'm tired of the false memories.
I'm tired of getting a stress induced headache as soon as I wake up.
I'm tired of not being able to get help due to no OCD specialists in my area.
I'm tired of my brain betraying me.
I'm tired of my brain being my worst enemy.
I'm tired.
I'm so tired.
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OCD
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Hi everyone,
I'm a HS senior going to uni next year, where I'll inevitably need to be faced with all my main triggers for contamination based OCD/anxiety.
They mainly revolve around the bathroom, i.e. only touching 'clean' parts of the faucet, shower rituals, freaking out when people don't wash their hands thoroughly or touch their underwear, etc. I also get sensory overload and anxiety attacks easily if someone touches me or there's a lot of activity in my vicinity.
I am super concerned for how I'm gonna function-- I keep wondering how I'll deal with having a roommate and sharing a communal bathroom, etc.
I might ask my parents to go back to therapy beforehand. Any tips or advice for overcoming contamination OCD, esp during a life transition?
Thanks in advance, xx
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OCD
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Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if this is an ADHD thing but I have it and I'm on my emotional and mental health journey right now. And BOY did I fuck up EVERYTHING.
I (25F) can't stop talking about everything all the time. Like I don't have a filter. I just say it, especially when alcohol is in the mix or I am super emotional. Which as you can see definitely get me in trouble. The newest shit show I have created is much too long of a story and I'm not the only asshole in it. But for now it suffice to say that I desperately need advice on how to filter myself, especially when trying to keep promises or keep secrets. Because I can't for some reason. I just go blabbing the truth to everyone even if it's not in the best interest of the people that I love or even in my own best interest because yea I fuck myself over too sometimes. All the time... I digress. I'm not on meds so I bet that doesn't help. ANYWAYS. PLS advise. Thank you
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ADHD
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Reason I'm asking is that I haven't gotten a diagnosis, but every time I talk to a psychologist or a doctor, they say I have "temporary anxiety with obsessive and compulsive traits or thoughts" or something along those lines. The problem is it's not temporary, it simply rarely crosses the line where I feel the need to get medical help. It's still ever present.
Anyway, here are some things I've experienced:
-as a child, I was afraid of the dark, and often had to sleep in specific ways. For example, I couldn't sleep if I could see open doors, cabinets, or the underside of someones bed. You know, tight, dark spaces. I also got episodically scared of different things. At one point, I got so scared of vampires I couldn't sleep with and exposed neck. It all hit it's worst when I learned of sleep paralysis. Couldn't sleep on my back for a while after that. Also, had a lot of trouble with praying: I was taught to pray every night before sleep, but had to stop since I found myself praying 3-5 times every night before it felt "right".
-as an adult, I hit my worst episode just when I was starting uni. I felt I was seeing things, and got convinced it was one of two things: ghosts or schizophrenia. After settling on the latter, I spent weeks unable to sleep and hundreds of bucks on ER visits since I was sure I was going psychotic any minute. Didn't happen.
-skip past 3-4 years, and it happened again. Weeks of certainty over my impending psychotic episode, this time over thinking I was hearing things. I can't stress enough that these were not ordinary bouts of stress: I was convinced my life was over, and I was virtually non-functioning for weeks. This was also accompanied by frenzied googling, webMD visits, all the good stuff...
-after that, it was the simulation theory thing. Maybe I'm not going mad, but I'm just living in a simulation, and I'm at a constant risk of being harmed by some futuristic super computer. This one wasn't as intense, but it is long lived. I still struggle with these thoughts.
-then we have the coincidences. Every time I notice something that is an unlikely coincidence, boom: it's psychosis or a sign of a simulation. Well, I'm not psychotic yet, and notice odd coincidences daily... Feel like this one is blowing over, thankfully.
-then the last one: tetanus. Got stuck by a needle at home, got absolytely convinced there is a fair chance it's tetanus. Btw, it was a clean wound, got it at home, was vaccinated in 2015. And I live in a country that hasn't had a tetanus case in 4 years. But no, apparently my brain thinks that one needle chilling on my apartment floor had tetanus on it, and enough of it to overpower my vaccine. Got a slight anxiety attack last night since my leg hurt a bit, thought I'd wake up to a convulsion in the middle of the night...
-then there are the general things. Can't leave home without checking stove/coffee pot/electrical outlets/etc, can't sleep if I don't double check the door, have to check my flat for intruders every time I get home... These come and go, sometimes they're stronger, sometimes I can live with them.
Right now, a lot of stuff is still with me. The tetanus thing is ongoing as I said, the simulation thing is on the back of my mind, and I have major complications with sleeping. Still can't sleep on my back (in a grand twist of irony, I actually suffer from chronic sleep paralysis attacks now as an adult... Which actually don't bother me much, they're annoying but otherwise chill), can't sleep without checking the doors, prefer to sleep on a mattress (don't even own a proper bed atm), have to wake up before specific times...
I guess the question is, can any of you relate to this at all? I just want some support from peers on this, it's genuinely easier to handle things when you know you're not the only one. Does this even sound OCD related?
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OCD
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Diagnosed Aspergers and always wondered about this. If I talk to someone who's upset or watch a movie that might make me feel sad, I can decide to not feel that way and brush it off. It doesn't work with everything however, when it's an emotion coming from someone else or media, I can realise that and distance it from myself without a problem. It's like a choice whether to allow empathic emotions or not.
Maybe someone could explain better. I'm just curious if others here are similar.
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aspergers
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Is it worth going to your doctors for depression? It sounds like a stupid question, like obviously I should but I'm in a bit of a tricky family situation. To be clear, I'm not sucidal but I've been depressed for years (21F) but it's definitely got worse in the last year. I do have a history of self harm but nothing major. I've also done those questionaire things and it usually comes out moderately severe which is a little alarming.
The trouble is I finally opened up to my closest family members about the self harm and depression earlier in the year and they've not helped at all, they just get angry. I don't think they believe in mental health and therapy. Typing it out I feel like I'm so dumb, like just go to the doctors myself but I have extreme social anxiety and I'm terrified of talking about it to strangers. I don't believe I could even make a phone call to get an appointment never mind turn up and be able to talk to a doctor (not to mention the fact I'd have to walk ages because the bus doesn't even go past the doctors). I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing all this behind their back, I want their support but this is the main reason I'm depressed. Like my family situation is one of the reasons I have issues but I can't really say that to them can I?
So it is worth trying to talk to them about it or will they just not get it? There'll be a massive waiting list anyway and it might not even help me. And the doctors are always rude men, the worst to come to for help. Or should I just let the breakdowns happen and see if my family finally see I need help?? I feel like I tried so hard open up and nothing good has come from it.
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depression
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It certainly feels like my neighbors go our of their way to make noise at the WORST possible times, often when I'm pissed off with something else and the last thing I need is to hear people STOMPING AROUND or talking within earshot of me.
This is something that's really been getting on my nerves lately, and I almost feel like I'd rather be deaf than deal with this bullshit.
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aspergers
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Hi all. I will often say things with no context whatsoever because my brain goes off to other places. Sometime in my late 20s / early 30s I had learned to explain all the leaps in logic inside my head as a preface before I said it. I feel compelled to talk a lot instead of just stay quiet, which if I do then I ruminate over the thing I was going to blurt out. Do others do something similar?
I was only recently diagnosed, at 39, less than a week ago and when I told my psychologist about this tactic I'd learned to do she explained that she had other patients who do the same thing. I felt so much better knowing I wasn't alone in doing this, like someone was really seeing me for the first time.
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ADHD
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I swear from November-April life is even more of a nightmare than it usually is. It’s getting hard to stick around. I have a lot of respect for people who actually go through with suicide. I wish I had the courage. I am so so tired of suffering. The trauma, the insidious thoughts, acting out. I ruin everything that comes near me.
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ptsd
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I had a POCD related dream last night where I felt arousal. I've had a few of these over the past couple years and they are always defined by 2 feelings. 1. A forbidden, anxious and disturbed feeling and 2. Genital arousal. The theme of these dreams always involves some degree of how wrong it is, anxiety as to what it means, and more often than not, somebody receiving criminal charges in relation to that theme.
POCD arousal is common for me, so the anxiety is often through the roof. Relating to that, I get aroused, but to a lesser extent at the thought that I might be a paedo. It's to a lesser extent, I think, because part of me wants to be aroused by that thought because it confirms that it's OCD I'm dealing with. I really want this to go away.
I got to reading about how paedos realise that they're paedos and almost 100% of those whose attraction is towards prepubescent children realise it when they enter their teens and their age of attraction never goes up as they get older. They keep having crushes on 4th graders, for instance, as they get into 7th, 8th, 9th grade and so on. For me, my crushes growing up were always on those my own age. I never had a paedophilic thought prior to POCD when I suddenly got the thought in my head of "what if I'm a paedophile". I worried about that because I'm bisexual, and I thought i had HOCD as a teen, but i started having crushes on guys in my class in high school and getting feelings for guys i thought were cute. I came to the conclusion that it wasn't OCD and that i was actually bisexual.
I've had sex with a few guys and a few women where i actually enjoyed it. I don't enjoy sex often. When I do, I'm extremely physically drawn to that person, I fantasise about them, often for a really long time, and there's an emotional component. It's very different from the POCD arousal, which comes from anxiety, has nothing enjoyable about it, and only started happening when my POCD worsened, yet the arousal still worries me and makes me think to myself that it's not just POCD, but rather, the real thing.
I'm struggling quite a bit right now
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OCD
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I’m not sure what u even should be nervous about theres so much going on I got invited to something with family but I don’t feel like leaving but also I don’t wanna make them feel upset like I don’t want to spend time with them I just want to be calm.
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depression
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So context. I live in a house with my wife and grandmother. Two floors and a basement I tend to be on the second floor since thats where my "rec room" and my bedroom are. Every so often I get really uncomfortable coming down at night to use the only decent bathroom, take a shower, make food etc. I keep feeling like someone is watching me or I am in danger constantly. Now grandmother has been on vacation and it has gotten 10 times worse to the point that I am almost in tears wanting to call my wife because I am scared to be alone in a locked bathroom.
I have bipolar and possibly an anxiety disorder but the kost prevelant thing in my life in terms of my diagnosed mental disorders is my ADHD. I wanted to know if this is normal for those with a similar mental condition and if perhaps I could see if anyone knew a way to assist with it at all.
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ADHD
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It’s a physical feeling, right in my chest. I’m lacking direction and motivation. So much feels like it’s missing from my life. I’m stuck. I’m back to not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I should probably go back on my meds, though I don’t want to, they just make me numb. I just wish I could wake up next year.
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depression
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I have ADHD but i don't have the forgetful/can't remember stuff that many people associate with it. I'm smart, can do great work get alot done and have been pretty successful despite my condition. I've been really upfront with people trying to manage expectation by telling them I have it, how I might respond to big and small things the same/ and that I stuggle to filter both in and out. I even tell my managers the structure/ coaching style that helps me prosper.
I am a badass employee when I'm okay that's just a bit mouthy. When my ADHD is in check/ I'm emotionally healthy.
But not when my brain gets overwhelmed. When that happens I'm viciously blunt, extremely sensitive/take comments personally, my emotions become a 30 on a scale of 1-10 but they all delovle into hysterical tears. I don't yell but I want to scream and the last self control I have turns the frustration to tears because that's more socially acceptable than raging. I think my freakout feels to them like it came out of nowhere and I'm usually 'sort of just a quirky human that is too honest' not that I'm a sufferer of extreme emotional problems and mental illness.
It's so hard. I know what's going on I just can't stop it.
Being smart doesn't mean I have control over my brain chemistry. I have such oversize response to stress (and many many things feel like stress) I'm a bit scared I'm not going to be able to keep a career because I keep melting down and over repetitive frustrations, and it all just feels like it's my fault due to my response.
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ADHD
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When I have an intrusive thought or I’m anxious I will repeat “you are ok” over and over out loud to myself until I feel a little better. Is this a compulsion or can I keep doing it because it really helps
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OCD
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I honestly don't know what to do. I didn't even know ADHD was a thing I might have until I read a book on it three to four years ago. I'm late twenties and my adult friends all thought I had a diagnosis. Hell, two of them have ADHD and they thought I knew.
But I got a call today, stating that after talking "with the team" at the NHS service I'd gone through, they didn't consider me to have ADHD.
I really don't have a clue what to do, I feel betrayed. My parents certainly didn't help the matter, they made it sound like I was fine until my teenage years when we moved, and that all my problems were caused by the move.
I've struggled with attention and productivity my entire life, it was commented on that I would rather talk than get on with the work, and that I never finished work on time. Everything was done at the last minute, and I've always been forgetful.
I'm just so freaking angry. How do I move forward on this?
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ADHD
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(13 non-binary) I can’t fucking eat during school days. Like I wake up at 6:15 (bus comes at 7:40-7:50) and I don’t eat, and I don’t eat lunch, and I only ever eat dinner. I also have depression and anxiety so that might contribute to this but I don’t know what to do. And I’m really suicidal, I’ve almost slit my wrists and Od. So what should I do abt the eating?
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depression
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It's so hard for me to stay on top of my schoolwork and housework. Today I finished all of my homework after multiple adventures in-between, swept the whole house and even put my laundry in the wash. I'm so glad I was able to just do these things without stalling them out to tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next day, and the next day... I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in January and I'm hoping I'll be able to have medication by then. I'll take these little victories over nothing any day, though.
It's so relieving to completely mark off a mental checklist every once in a while.
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ADHD
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I often feel like I can’t catch a break. Every year it’s something new. My ocd started in 2018 with me obsessing over suicide and getting intrusive thoughts. When that blew away hocd came along in 2019 and ocd ruined my life once again. in 2020 ocd surrounding the coronavirus and pocd rolled around. Now this year I’m struggling with real event/false memory ocd. Do I ever get a break? I can’t help but feel like I will remain this way my whole life. I don’t know what do
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OCD
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