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I had been struggling to sleep
I installed a vibrator app on my phone
I held it in my hand while laying down for 30 mins
I then was able to get to sleep
There is a more sophisticated headband vibrator too, from a company called Flow Neuroscience
But I find that the free phone apps work just fine
Try it. Let me know if it works
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aspergers
|
In many ways and one such way right now is with the world of being a fan of things. I feel like this world hates me and I hate it back. I have a lot of unpopular specific opinions with things like movies and even on r/unpopularopinion people have gotten mad at me for having harmless opinions even though that sub is for such!
Like I innocently love all 9 star wars movies and thought rise of skywalker was the best, but I have never watched the Mandalorian because I just prefer the main skywalker saga and tv series don't work with me while movies do. People react like I'm a serial killer. The stuff people say to me about me being wrong with harmless opinions is like a black hole for my self esteem. I never seem to notice if a movie is good or bad until most people say so pointing out flaws in it I didn't see before, yet when I don't like a movie (I initially found endgame disappointing) I'm always wrong because I'm all alone that's how I feel. And again if it's the other way round and I tell someone their opinion, unpopular or not, is stupid I would get roasted while everyone else shits on me and gets away with it.
I am also an author planning an epic masterpiece that's the only thing im good at in life and can be proud of but again people have told me I must suck at that for many reasons ranging from not having started it (because of the fucking planning they don't seem to understand) and not enjoying reading other fiction because most other books just don't work with me. I watch movies over books but making a book series myself works with me because I'm so fucked up...that's how I feel with what society says to me. Thanks for reading.
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aspergers
|
Should I be concerned about my daughters staring problem
Could this be a sign of Aspergers? Someone commented on my post saying so but truthfully my daughter makes normal eye contact at home and idt she’s trying to mask by doing this
My daughter is quiet in class and always has been. But she’s always been very hyper around friends. Like hyper the way a puppy gets the zoomies. However a lot of times at family dinner w just the family she just zoned out and doesn’t talk
She’s almost 15
She also seems to have a staring problem. She always makes eye contact with people she knows and kinda waits for them to say hi first. I’m not sure if she doesn’t realize this is awkward when she just holds a stare. She will make flirty eye contact a lot with people. We went out to dinner the other night at a very fancy restraint- and she was staring at the waitresses the whole time and holding eye contact with them (while she was in this hyper active zoomies mood smiling from ear to ear). But there was no reason for her to be doing things and so the wait staff would kinda giggle at her & that would make her smile more and stare more. She’s done this before too.
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aspergers
|
uggh why is it so hard to get a referral.
I've met with GPs in the past to discuss ADHD but they all say depression and anxiety and its super frustrating. I finally got the referral forms and emailed them saying they should fill their bit and I booked an appointment to discuss, And then send it to ADHD 360 and now this GP is saying that they don't do right to choose and that they have their own community clinic. Even after calling me back he spoke to some higher-ups and they say that this is not a thing. He is now also saying that going through the NHS will be faster than a referral, even if a referral was a thing. But through the NHS before I can get an ADHD diagnosis I have to get blood tests, ECGs etc.
Believe it or not he is one of the good ones at least he is making the effort to ask around and call me back but I just want him to understand the whole right to choose process. Maybe I should recommend him calling ADHD 360? He is calling me back tomorrow so I have some time to frame my words to explain it to him.
If it is faster through the NHS then I'll do it but I have my doubts.
|
ADHD
|
I have PTSD. It sucks. I am pretty open about my diagnosis, socially, because it's real and it does affect how I interact socially.
I am pretty open about being a rape survivor and less open about everything else which, yeah, there's a lot. Creep my post history if you want, it's ugly, brutal, and I am still here.
I was recently explaining to a friend that hey, yeah, if I am triggered I will have a trauma response and her response was she has them too. When I pulled back and pulled a face she got indignant, saying that just because she's never mentioned trauma or seen a doctor doesn't mean that she can't be coming from the same place. (Not saying she can't have a hard life but I know for a fact that she's not got a single actual mental health diagnosis in her life and she's had good health insurance the entire time I've known her.)
I am still low key mad about this. The whole point of diagnosis and therapy and coping are that this is not a normal thing, this is different and just being like, "Yeah I really am coming from the exact same place" when I am dealing with compounded child abuses, sexual abuse, incest, domestic violence, etc felt completely reductive and the absolute opposite of anything sympathetic or empathetic.
Am I over sensitive ?
|
ptsd
|
I am having a bad episode of OCD which has lasted now for about 4 months. It’s effecting everything in my life and it’s awful. I was just having conversation with a coworker and said something that later I thought could be offensive. I’ve been trapped in continuous asking for reassurance and ruminating endlessly. I know what I need to do and accept uncertainty but it’s been so difficult. i’ve fallen into a depression but just started medication 2 weeks ago. I’m still not feeling well though. It’s been an awful experience and fear losing everything that’s important to me. I’m on a waitlist for a therapist which is frustrating because I really need to speak to an OCD specialist. I’m barely functioning :(. Does anyone have ocd where they just ruminate endlessly about how things could’ve gone differently and if something was different about the past, they would be in a better place today. Obsessing about the past and finding it so hard to accept it. Wishing that things went differently or that you didnt say something that you did. Wishing you could go back and change it. I’m really struggling :( This thread has ben somewhat helpful and I feel less alone. Thanks
|
OCD
|
I’m in Tel Aviv for an internship and I’m in a 3 bedroom apartment I’m sharing with 4 other people and my and my roommate’s room has the good balcony and there was like a bunch of people over and they were out on the balcony attached to my room so like I couldn’t have any alone space and it was really overwhelming. It was fun to conversate with people a bit but after a while it was just like oh my god, I felt so intruded upon... do you guys have any tips to deal with socially over-stimulating situations like this? Sorry this is a bit rant-y, I’m a little drunk
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aspergers
|
After constant romantic and professional rejection I’m (32m) just realizing I have almost no attractive qualities, or at least that traits that are commonly desired by women. And that’s really all I want out of life, to have a partner (and of course that needy mindset makes me more unattractive too).
I used to work out but it never really helped with women so I stopped doing once I realized I wasn’t really doing it for myself. I run occasionally but it doesn’t make me less depressed. I have dated and had some flings and brief relationships but they always dump me. I’ve never really received any compliments besides being “cute.” And obviously that’s not enough. I’m not ambitious. I used to be but that didn’t make me much more attractive either. I used to be hardworking and disciplined but I’m not anymore because none of my hard work has paid off. So the only upshot to hard work for me is that occasionally it takes my mind of things but brings no tangible or financial payoff. I’m not confident, funny, assertive, extroverted, mentally tough, etc.
The only two things I can think of that I genuinely like about myself are that I’m kind (I try to see the best in people, build them up, and encourage them, polite, etc). Basically just nice guy bullshit but as I’m constantly reminded that’s not special and not enough. I’m smart but in an intellectual, philosophical, contemplative way. Not street smart or smart in a way that will translate into a financially stable career which most women undeniably want from men.
So the only way to find someone is by acquiring more attractive traits and undertaking the monumental task of changing my personality which will take forever and honestly I don’t want to find love at 40 or 50 or 60. Plus, the changes would all be fake and not true to myself.
TL:dr I have more negative qualities than positives and need to radically change my personality if I want to be attractive but that will take forever so I probably won’t find love.
|
depression
|
**MOTHER OF ALL TRIGGER WARNINGS: LGBT+ phobia, ableism, verbal / physical / psychological abuse, right-wing politics, Holocaust references, totalitarianism, general bitter vengeful bullshit, etc.**
Sometimes, to help re-affirm my own infinite disgust and rage at the state of this world, I deliberately seek out memes, quotes, manifestos, music, etc. made by "people" Hell-bent on exterminating every single POC, LGBT+, disabled person, etc. on the planet. I get a masochistic thrill out of it, but I also have a more practical rationale for this.
I want to "get in the heads" of my enemies, understand the nuances of their abhorrent ideologies and how they operate, and immerse myself in their symbolism so I can develop a counter-aesthetic that *glorifies* filth, degeneracy, equality, and personal liberty. In a weird way, I kinda take refuge in this shit, because it reassures me that I have clearly-defined enemies after blindly grasping in a dark fog of oppressive confusion for so much of my existence. And I live my whole life as a defiant, immaculate degenerate just to spite these fuckers.
Trauma has been a fact of my life for much of it. I was robbed of my teen years by a sadistic, manipulative, Borderline Personality Disordered little harpy of a "mother". I'd give my childhood a generous 2/10 - I was simultaneously spoiled *and* abused, micromanaged and neglected, and above all else, *infantilized*. I've been screamed at, slapped silly, disowned, tearfully welcomed back in, disowned again, terrorized with empty suicide threats, and had the pigs called on me based on this Big Lie that *I* was the real abuser. I've spent two weeks at a cross between a condo complex and a fucking juvie hall called WaySide, because mom regurgitated this lie to a hospital social worker. I've been called things like "shit-eating sissy f@ggot", "fat fuck", and "drooling, hand-flapping r3tard" (since I'm an Aspie *and* bi, this qualifies me as *double* the subhuman). Mommy dearest reveled in inflicting suffering on her only son, and I've often speculated that she was a Nazi death camp guard or SS officer in a past life.
Thankfully that, uhh... something that rhymes with "witch" is nothing more than a pile of ashes now, and will never be able to harm me or anyone else ever again. My life has improved tremendously in the years since I left her gas chamber of a house for good (on the day of my high school graduation, no less).
I just earned my BA after six long fucking years of arduous struggle. I've learned to establish - and maintain - boundaries, while respecting those of others. I actually have something resembling a social life now, which was forbidden under mom's roof. And most excitingly, I've been in a beautiful relationship with the most wholesome, adorable, generous, and *naughty* boy on Earth for about a year and a half.
Every time we kiss or hold hands, every time we're smoking a joint and he blows a hit into my mouth, I *revel* in imagining how butthurt mom must get as she's being spit-roasted by Lucifer and all His demons. Honeybear and I partake in all the "DeGeNeRAcY" mom was so terrified of her good little boy growing up to love, and I can say without hesitation that meeting him saved my life. *Je t'adore plus que la vie elle-même, ma petite fleur de cerisier...* our love is an act of revolution.
However, after I was kicked out of mom's house for the last time, I came of age in a nation rapidly plummeting into willful ignorance, mass arrogance, and outright sadism - all codified and enforced by the state. It dawned on me that there's a *groundswell* of shitgolems out there who are foaming at the mouth to gas every single person of my kind with Zyklon B, along with all others they've branded "untermenschen". Bear in mind, this "pure and clean" world is their idea of a *utopia.*
My political awakening was the GamerGate "movement"; witnessing their digital lynch mobs filled me with indignation and disillusionment. Seeing these soulless fucking monsters claiming to represent the medium I love so much radicalized me into the rabid "eSs JaY DuBbuLyeW" I am today, but it also taught me empathy for other historically shat-on demographics. GG's incredibly toxic mindset has proven quite influential on the American political Hellscape, and this corrosive dystopia has only grown more pervasive and sickening in the past couple years.
If these chuds had their way, yours truly, honeybear, and every human to the left of Pinochet would be dragged out of their homes and hanged from the street lamps. They are praying for "the Day of the Rope", and if it ever comes, you can bet your ass I shall acquaint as many of their deformed bonehead skulls with my Doc Martens as humanly possible, before spitting in my hangman's face with my final breath.
But in the meantime, I'm gonna stay smoking fucktons of bud, listening to fucktons of "Devilish" extreme metal and punk music, deep-throating honeybear's cock and taking it up the ass, and just maintaining my hard-won stability in general until the day I die.
Sorry for going off on a fucking tangent like I always do. Can anyone relate or empathize to any of this?
Thank you so much for putting up with my ranting and raving. Take care of yourselves, and do what you gotta do to self-care. Be gay, do crime, stay brutal!
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ptsd
|
Does anyone else do this? Is this OCD or just anxiety?
When I match people on tinder and go out with them once I get extremely anxious about if they are going to stick to a second or third meeting.
Sometimes this is because they don’t and sometimes it’s probably in my head. Whatever level of communication they have is insufficient for me after this first date and it makes me anxious, such that I may be messing everything up after the date, not during.
Obsessive things I do after the date: -engage in conversation via text afterwards
-get anxious if their response time is less than before first date
-check their snap score
-play their snapchat stories
-check their Instagram stories to see if they are active online
-check their distance in tinder app
|
OCD
|
I’m recently diagnosed at 42. Over the past few months, I’d learned what I’d already been doing to manage my ADHD even without knowing, and doubled down on it. I’d also added in some new management techniques and went on medication. For the first time in my life, I’d been feeling mostly focused and productive.
Then, I had to exit my job, which led to a change in my career to being self employed. As a part of that, I had to sell my fairly large house and downsize into one bedroom at my sister’s place temporarily until I move across the country to a studio apt NYC where there are more opportunities for my new career.
Before I moved out from the house, my brain was was still feeling organized, focused, motivated, and excited about moving and my career change. However, the move itself ended up being a chaotic whirlwind where tons of critical things kept going wrong and only I could resolve each crisis. I ended up needing to work frantically from waking until collapsing into sleep every day for 6 weeks to pull it all off.
I’m finally in the new place, unpacked, and nothing has gone wrong in over a week…except the inside of my brain constantly feels like someone is tossing it like a salad. I’m either 100% hyperfocus on the wrong things or paralyzed with executive disfunction. I feel completely off kilter.
I’d had a great exercise routine in the mornings that helped me start the day structured and energized, but I can’t make myself do it. I can’t focus on my work anymore. I start things like cooking dinner and then wander away. I forget to take vitamins even though they are literally in my hand. It’s back to ADHD ruling my life. If I can’t get my shit together, again, I’m going to fail in this new chapter of my life.
Any tips or advice for how to get back on track after getting thrown off by charge and/or crisis? I’m going to move again in a few months, so this might be something I have to work through again soon, too. I’d love to have a management tool set for this kind of thing.
|
ADHD
|
I’ll just be randomly going about my day, and then all of a sudden, BAM. 5 or so seconds of just wanting to die so so much that if I had a gun in my hand I couldn’t make any promises. Then a few seconds later it’ll go as suddenly as it came and I’ll be left there shaking wondering what the fuck just happened.
Anyone else?
|
ptsd
|
I need support and advice. I'll try to keep it short and simple. It's been a long time since I've had a PTSD related trigger. Things have been high strung lately and I've been staying with my partner, who lives with their brother. To cut to the chase, yesterday afternoon their brother gave me 1 minute to get out of their house with no warning and reasoning, before I could even grasp that idea, he started yelling and storming up the stairs SO loudly. It terrified and paralyzed me.
I instantly couldn't breathe and started sobbing. It's been so long since someone has acted aggressive to me. I left and had my attack outside while he yelled at my partner. I still don't know why he was so angry, he's genuinely such a calm and kind person. I trusted him and love him like my own brother and thought we were on good terms. It's so out of character. I blocked him on all social. I don't think I can ever face him again without having an attack.
I don't see myself ever forgiving him but I love him because he's family, and extremely important to my partner. He's never done anything like this before and one part of me wants him to apologize and give him a hug and figure out why it happened, but the majority of me wants to scream back at him or curl into a ball and disappear.
I'm so lost and just want to know "why?" I feel like it's all my fault. I had nightmares last night about my abusers, and flashbacks constantly when I'm awake. I thought I had finally conquered the worst of my ptsd and now I have to do it all over again. I lost a safe space and safe person and I'm so devastated.
|
ptsd
|
I don't believe that what I'm looking for is "legal advice." I'm just wondering when Virginia raises the state median income number that is used for the means test. I'm a tad over the number currently and am hoping that just a slight rise will be to my advantage, so I'd love to know when that will happen. I have googled and googled and googled and can't find the answer. Does anyone happen to know? Thank you.
|
aspergers
|
I’ve always thought disassociation was what happened during the more traumatic experiences where you separate from the experience to avoid processing the severity of what is happening, kind of temporarily detaching from reality.
The definitions I have come across seem to be pretty extreme as well and focus on a detachment from reality. But the way that I see it used around here, which I assume stems from clinical discussions in therapy sessions, seems to be a bit more broad.
I’ve noticed that I will be talking with people and I will drift off somewhere thinking about something based on what they said or something completely different, not consciously aware of what is going on, completely absorbed in though. I can usually piece the conversation back together. Sometimes I come back in and I am talking. I have no idea what I am talking about or if it is even true. Most of the time I can’t even recall what I was thinking about.
I’ll have a similar thing when driving where I’ll suddenly realize that I am near my destination or drove past all of the stores on the way home and never ended up picking up groceries. It is like I am on autopilot and intensely lost in though.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing huge gaps in my life carrying on like this. I feel like it has gotten worse with my diagnosis and the way my manager sets things up for me (always wrong, no path for success. Multiple people have mentioned gaslighting).
I don’t know how to stay grounded and present. I feel like having a better description for it might help to find a way to deal with it and lessen the occurrence.
|
ptsd
|
I know what's best for me. I know that I have to get up out of bed. I have to get moving and live my life. I have to persevere even when I feel frozen solid. But I can't. I don't have the will power to be human. Depression is a rough road and coupled with heartache, it creates a chasm that can't be crossed.
I don't want to move on without my person. If I did, I'd be accepting a life without him, and that seems unfathomable. So I sit here, waiting for the change that only I can make happen.
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depression
|
I’ve struggled with OCD for years. I would first like to say that to anybody suffering, there is hope, however I do have my own struggles still, and it can still be very difficult. I’ll try to go into both, and hopefully I can bring light to your situation and you can bring light to mine.
Many years ago, like over 20, it all started with flipping light switches a certain amount of times, to doing laps around a room, checking the door, beeping my car (still happens sometimes), and more. Eventually, in my mid twenties, I had experienced so much anxiety that something shifted. I kneeled on the floor and asked the universe to take my pain away. I eventually stopped drinking (it seriously makes it worse) and started reading spiritual books, mostly ones by Eckhart Tolle, that involved living in the present moment and losing identification with my thoughts. This helped very much. I finally experienced some relief from my obsessive thoughts and compulsions and life was sort of new. To see that I was not my thoughts, and that it’s all just a story was very helpful. I also lingered on OCD forums and challenged myself to various forms of exposure therapy, by allowing myself to be uncomfortable and embrace uncertainty.
20 years later, my anxiety is still much better and I’ve hardly had any physical compulsions, though they still exist. I have recovered from this in many ways, but have developed something more like Pure OCD, that exists mostly in my thinking.
Before I go into that, I just want to say that for me, staying sober and having a spiritual life, one that involves deep and reflective meditation is huge. Those things along with Zoloft have been my saving graces and I recommend them to anybody who is serious about recovering from this.
As for my current relationship with OCD, I’d like to give an example of a recent “spike”. I know I’m not supposed to ask for reassurance, but I haven’t reached out to this sort of community for a long time and I feel alone in it, and feel like I could use some confirmation that I’m talking about the correct mental issue.
I make handmade items and posted a photo of my packaging that I use for customers to my Instagram. My sister-in-law commented on it and I replied saying “learned from the best!”. I’m not really sure what I meant by that at the time, but ever since then I have had anxiety because I feel like I gave my creative power away to her, and now I won’t do as good of a job with my work because I gave all the credit for my skills to her. In my mind I tell myself that she has always wrapped her gifts well at Christmas, but that she didn’t exactly teach me how to do anything. And the compulsion would be to delete the comment, thinking that such an action would give me my power back.
Writing that down I see how OCD it is. But I also always have that doubting voice that tells me it’s not OCD and the event really occurred. From what I remember, that is the OCD speaking as well.
Stuff like this happens quite often, and it’s usually when I’m happy or regarding something that is important to me. I always live with this fear that something is going to ruin my progress with things, whether mental or not. This has often in my life paralyzed me and kept me from doing things that are important to me, like dating, work opportunities, achieving things, you name it. It’s always that small actions or things said are going to create this major shift in my life/destiny.
So that’s all I have for now I think. If you read this, thanks for listening. I would really appreciate any input you may have, especially if you can relate. I also hope that you find happiness and healing on your journey.
|
OCD
|
I feel less alone with you.
Nobody around me seem to understand what its like to have ocd, even my therapist.
They don't know what its like to be bullied by their own minds.
you make me stronger, just knowing that there are people out there going through the same problems makes me less anxious.
Thank you.
|
OCD
|
Have an appointment to have my jaw muscles injected with Botox to weaken them and prevent constant clenching - my jaw, shoulders, and back are always tensed. This has been ongoing since before stimulant meds, but the jaw clenching has been greatly exacerbated by it. Truthfully, I’m also getting this done for aesthetic purposes - my jaw could fight in the WWE after all these years of constant workouts. I’m not new to Botox or injectables for other purposes.
Curious if anyone has tried this out. How have stims have affected the outcomes for you? Did your results last a shorter period than expected? Any unusual or unexpected outcomes?
|
ADHD
|
TW for Eating Disorders
Despite being absolutely miserable back in 8th grade due to Anorexia, my mind is convinced that those were my happiest times. I know how terrible everything was for me but I still miss my old habits and symptoms so much. Eating normally makes me very ashamed and I just want to go back on starvation and over exercising. I’m aware that these are just intrusive thoughts but I hate how convinced I am.
I wanted to share this to see if there are other people in this subreddit dealing with ED or BDD. I’m not seeking reassurance but ig I just want some comfor ksndksmsl
|
OCD
|
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, and I’m really struggling in school. I have trouble concentrating, and I simply do not have the energy to do the work for my classes. I am also the president of two clubs, but I’m struggling to create plans and organize meetings. I really enjoy all of my classes and activities, but my grades and performance are not where they need to be.
My therapist recommended I stick to my passions, but those passions leave me drained and disappointing my teachers and peers.
I need advice. I want to stay in the classes and clubs but I can’t keep up with the workload. Any advice to better pay attention and stay on top of my work? Or should I just accept this is how my brain works and find easier classes and/or drop the leadership positions?
|
ptsd
|
I go weeks without speaking to people. I'm decently intelligent but I still have trouble bonding. I think a lot of it is living in a rural area too. Not a single friend IRL. No family left at all, moved out when I was 16. The few that are left do not speak to me, they are ashamed of my autism. There's three people I grew up with that I text with in a group text sometimes, that's it. Having health problems the last couple years so most of my energy goes to that. Basically have no hobbies anymore. Anyone else in this kind of situation? What's your coping like?
|
aspergers
|
I know that mom hates it when I say certain things (ex. pulling up topics about issues in society). I try not to mention them because I KNOW she would hate it. However I get these urge to say them to my mom now and then when it pops up to my mind, and a lot of times I do end up saying it again, I get into arguments, I regret my "decision", repeat. I think I've been doing this since childhood. Didn't think much of it before, but recently I've been wondering- could this also be linked to the self control issues with my possible(undiagnosed, so) ADHD?
|
ADHD
|
i was workout out and next thing i knowi ended up trying to lay it on my neck seeing if it would do anything but i think i’m too scared even though i want to die
|
depression
|
I have TOCD, and a little bit of HOCD, what do people mean when there themes manifest in their dreams like it did for me but how about you guys?
|
OCD
|
I have a horrible fear that my cats will get stuck in the oven, or the dishwasher, the fridge, freezer, microwave, etc. So I check them obsessively, while I go and check the windows, doors, lights, etc. whenever I go into the kitchen, and several times a day when I have no business going into the kitchen. The only thing this hurts is myself, except when I am baking.
Due to my obsessive checking all of my cakes turn out lopsided because of how often I open the oven. I just want a nice normal, non-under-baked cake.
Is there anything I can do to limit this behavior, that isn't just exposure therapy. Thanks for your help!
|
OCD
|
I started meds about 2 years ago, started on concerta but it didn't stay effective for long. So my doctor recently switched me over to Vyvanse 30mg/day. Every day intake it around 730am and by 10am I desperately want a nap, even just half an hour. If I do cave and nap as an early lunch break, I feel so much better for the rest of the day. Very productive. If I resist a nap, it's hit or miss how productive I am for the rest of the day :(
Is this a common side effect? Feeling tired?
|
ADHD
|
I'm awkward most of the time when I'm out in public. Like if I was walking and someone came in my way, and I had to change direction to get around them, I'd do it in an awkward way. It wouldn't be completely smooth.
And whenever someone's walking their small dog.........oh these little motherf\*ckers won't let you get away with it! Every time I encounter a small dog in public, they completely stop in their tracks and bark at you until you've crossed 4 blocks.....bark at you just for an awkward movement.
Big regular size dogs are chill. But these tiny Small Man syndrome dogs go berserk at the slightest awkwardness.
|
aspergers
|
I am 13, and I was diagnosed to ASD and ADHD at age 11. It was after they started generalizing the disorder, but I definitely have Aspergers. I have lived my whole life needing attention. I didn’t care if it was for acting out, or doing something rewarding. I would always act out because it was the easiest way to get attention. I then got diagnosed and it changed my life. I started becoming a teacher’s helper instead of a class clown. My life lacked direction until I was diagnosed at the age of 11. Now, I fix computers for my school’s tech team and I am only in 7th grade.
|
aspergers
|
[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/q81czv/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_191/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :)
|
aspergers
|
Hi everyone. I am posting because I've been suffering from tight clothing obsession since I can remember. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, and I've never seen someone talking about it or saw how it was called (if it has a name), so I would like to hear about your own experiences, your thoughts and knowledge on what I'm experiencing.
To begin, I am 23 and I have always been obsessed with having to feel my clothes really tight, whether it's panties, socks, shoes, shirts, pants, bra, you name it. It was very difficult as a kid cause it was hard for me to find something that I was comfortable in. If I didn't have a match, that would drive me crazy, I would cry, get upset, feel horrible and not wanting to get dressed.
This never left. It only got worse. Worse to a point I had to wear a super tight belt with every single outfit, which was so tight that it made me bloated and I had a hard time digesting, and it even got to the point I wore a corset 7h a day everyday for a month. I am doing a little better now, I try to fight it, but it's really hard.
The only way I can get comfy is: or I were something super tight, or it has to be oversized (except for the waist for pants, panties and socks). If it's not tight enough, this literally drives me crazy, I wanna cry, I am so angry and I feel so uncomfortable with my body. I struggle really hard finding clothes, cause they're never tight enough. I lose so much time sometime, trying to get dressed. It obsesses me, and it just makes my life so incapacitating. All I want, is to be normal. Sometimes finding clothes is a real challenge. For example, every legging I try, is not tight enough, or also panties, and so many other things. I prefer wearing something that hurts me but that is tight enough, instead of something just fitting normal.
Please, I need your help to have a clue, to have a track where to start to feel better. Thank you.
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OCD
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I don't struggle with friends. But so many people on here do and it breaks my heart. I already made a post where I gave my 2 cents on the matter.
Now I was hoping that you (friends and romantic partners of Aspies) could post 2 things.
How You Met
How you managed to maintain the relationship
I.e. It works well with my best friend because he's simply very socially aggressive, and won't let people be alone if he can help it. Yeah, it gets annoying, but it's the reason he's still in my life vs scores of relationships I just didn't maintain.
Maybe this has been done before, but I was thinking it might help people on this board gain perspective.
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aspergers
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Wanna clarify that I’m not asking for diagnosis, but I’m wondering if it’s something I should bring up in my first therapy appointment tomorrow.
I have this problem where I’m constantly seeking reassurance for what I’m anxious about. I think it was a bit worse when I was younger with less responsibilities. I would literally just spend a whole day on my laptop googling my feelings and thoughts to make sure they were valid. I spent a lot of time in forums, asking questions almost daily, which I don’t think is normal for a elementary/middle schooler? But as an adult, it evolved into a planning problem as well.
Anyway, I went into a rabbit hole again last night. Obsessively planning my workouts, changing it whenever I found something new, and even then, still worrying whether it’s correct from 4AM to 10AM in the morning. Like WHY? Those hours felt like minutes. And now I’m realizing that I just spend my whole days planning things or looking things up, and most of the time never doing it. My friend looked and saw I had almost 400 tabs open on my phone and 10 windows with a different topic each on my laptop and thought I was insane.
I’m diagnosed with ADHD but I’m starting to wonder if it’s just that, a combo of both? Or if it’s just a Gen Z thing. Should I tell my therapist about it?
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OCD
|
Hi there. I (21F) highly suspect myself to have ADHD. I've never been diagnosed as my mother was not a very big proponent of mental health.
I have always been "the weird kid". I jump from hyper fixation, to hyper fixation, and back again. So many projects started, never finished. I was an overachiever in elementary and middle school, and when high school hit I found it hard to apply myself.
I sought out a diagnosis because I have been struggling immensely at work. I can't stay off my phone. I can't listen enough to take in information during meetings. I received a corrective action during training because I wasn't paying attention... I was looking down and drawing in order to help myself focus.
The psychiatrist I went to sent me to a psychologist. They came back with a diagnosis of GAD (already knew this) and bipolar disorder. When I asked why, I was told that I would have to speak with the psychologist again to have her explain her diagnosis.
I highly disagree with this. I don't experience mood swings. I'm tired all the time, regardless of how much sleep I get. I have nearly gotten myself into car accidents because my bird brain decides I really need to know the address on a billboard for a casino -- I don't gamble. My money management skills are pretty great, and I'm not impulsive. I don't have ups and downs, I have a constant lack of focus if the subject material isn't something related to my current hyperfixations. I struggle to take care of myself and home due to "blindness" -- I don't even notice dishes, I struggle to get myself to stop doing what I'm doing and switch tasks to do simple things like shower. I experience a TON of rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and completely shut down when someone I care about seems upset with me.
My mother was abusive, and I carry a lot of childhood trauma with me, as well (for context).
I feel like they aren't taking me seriously or may be wary of diagnosing a woman with ADHD. What should I do? What do I tell them to get them to listen? Should I seek an entirely separate opinion?
Please help. They want to put me on mood stabilizers. I already have my anxiety med and I really, really don't think I have bipolar. I don't want to start anything that isn't going to help me... I want to be able to perform at work, do chores.
Thanks for any suggestions in advance.
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ADHD
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Hey guys I was on Twitter Last night and a gay guy tweeted how he was just sexually assaulted and people were in the comments telling him that he deserved it or he liked it because he was gay and that situation made me so made that I decided to make a video on it.
https://youtu.be/0266hva3Pr0
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ptsd
|
So I know OCD will do everything in its power to convince me I'm crazy, but how do I get past what OCD is doing to convince me I'm Crazy, What I'm basically asking is how do I just ignore My brain from finding new stuff to scare me and how to ignore it completely? What has worked for you guys to have less anxiety? What do you tell yourself because my OCD is constantly Tries to find new things to Convince me "I'm Crazy" and it would help me a ton to see what other people do to ignore this dumb shit OCD
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OCD
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As the title says, I have an absolutely *horrible* time with tone regulation. I think I’ll just be explaining something to someone or correcting them, and they accuse me of being “condescending”, “rude”, and the latest, “snarky.” That’s not how it sounded in my head at all. And when I try to explain this and that it is part of autism and that I didn’t mean to be rude at all, I just get shut down and told I’m “making excuses/justifications.” I’m very frustrated. My lack of tone regulation and recognition is the cause of most of my arguments.
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aspergers
|
Someone on here posted about struggling to do the dishes and people had some great ideas of stuff to buy to make the task more enjoyable and therefore easier to do. Recently, I bought something called a Foreo Luna for cleaning my face and it has definitely ensured I've remembered to wash my face daily, and I downloaded an App called TroveSkin which sends me reminders as well! So, what gadgets and things have you bought that helped? Fancy toothbrush to remember to brush your teeth? Cool gloves to make you want to do the dishes? Anything! I didn't realise this would work so well now I'm on the hunt for little motivators!
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ADHD
|
Yesterday I was playing the guitar outside my rehab when I saw someone and liked there style my brain said they were 16 okay so dont play guitar for them in a romantic way but I have a thing where my brain says not to and I do and I did then it said not to again and i did again as I'm battling myself in my own head I'm scared I'm stuck in my own bed and staff are gonna start screaming at me soon I dont know what to do. Does anyone know what's happening? Does ocd make you act on impulse?
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OCD
|
I was in a terrible place in my life, and I was having continuous thoughts of suicide. I saw every place as a way where I could kill myself. I saw a broken curtain rope and wondered. I saw food on the table and wondered if I could add something to it and ingest it to make it easier. Finally I found myself in my bathroom with mouthwash in my hand. I drank a sip. And then when I realized what I was thinking I was terrified. It was like I couldn’t trust my own self anymore and I felt like my thoughts were going to take over me. I tried to tell my parents about it. They asked me if I did anything like actually drink it, I lied and said no. They said ok and asked me to leave the room. I was shocked. It felt like they didn’t care if I was dead or alive at all. (The weekend before didnt go well with them and I thought they were annoyed with my existence, we went to resort, because I was tired of work.But when I went there I freaked out even more, there was no internet and I had a lot of pending assignments. I was getting calls from my teachers. I started freaking out and screaming at them and refused to participate in any of the activities. They were angry and started talking to me in a condescending tone. I begged them to take me back home as I had to complete my work( it was only 20 mins away from the resort)
They said that they paid for three days and I had to stay there for three days. I suffered everyday and was sleepless on the nights.)*back to current…*
Then I saw a random pill on the table and asked them if they would even care if I take it. They said no, and I swallowed 3 of them( this was the moment where I felt like it wouldn’t matter if I died) Their expressions didn’t change. I still don’t know what the pills were and I don’t know if they were dangerous or not.
They started laughing obnoxiously where I thought I was going to die from the pills. Suddenly my whole life started flashing in front of me and I couldn’t stop thinking about my sister and my friends. I thought that my parents behavior was indicating that they want me dead and I was terrified. I thought of all the reasons they would want me dead. Keep in mind I did not know when or if the pills were going to take effeCt. I kept saying sorry to my parents hoping they would do something to save me. They tried to feed me another pill, but in that moment i did not know if they hated me and were trying to kill me with another pill or if they were trying to save me. I felt like each moment would be the last moment of my life. I screamed for help and shouted that my parents were trying to kill me and for help. Only one of my neighbors heard and came to check up on me. She calmed me and after like half an hour of consoling I was ok.
I still feel completely detached and repulsed by my father as he laughed at me when I said I was trying to kill myself/dying.
My mom said she loves me and cares about me. But my father in general is a very unemotional person and I have never felt any affection from him whatsoever.
I don’t know what to do but I donot want to spend the rest of my life hating him.
The next morning my mom convinced me to go to a hospital and I was put there for 5 days under watch.
That was another traumatic experience as I wasn’t told that I was being dumped in a freaking mental hospital. Bits and pieces still come back to me but it will be long before I can properly describe that event.
I’ve been living that week over and over again for the last 4 months trying to understand what happened.
Tl;dr : I said I wanted to kill myself, my parents didn’t care. I thought they were ok with me killing myself. And now I feel repulsed by them.
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ptsd
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I'm a 22 year-old woman, and I was diagnosed with AS back when I was around 10 years old. I didn't get my diagnosis until my parents realized that I had Pica and sent me to a psych ward when I was in third grade. My younger brother is also on the spectrum, and he was diagnosed before he was 2 years old. As soon as my parents found out I too was on the spectrum, I started to see a constant flow of psychiatrists. I learned how to mask, and I learned how to do it *really* well. I had already been pretty good at masking before my diagnosis, which is why I believe it took me so much longer than my brother to get diagnosed. I studied facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. I studied how NT people behaved and talked to one another. I frequently people-watched and started to mold and sculpt myself like a piece of clay. However, not all of the cracks were able to be smoothed out. No matter how hard I tried, people still looked at me like I was a counterfeit piece of art. A fraud, a copycat. They could tell I didn't belong, and I didn't understand why. As a result, I perfected my craft and was able to eventually blend in, much like a chameleon. The first time I realized I might've lost my true self wasn't until my freshman year of college. I was having a mental break and tried to see a university-appointed psychologist. When I told her that I had AS, she flat out told me she didn't believe me. She went so far as to tell me that I may have been misdiagnosed. This sent me into a downward spiral. I began to question my identity. I had tried so hard to blend in and erase my Autistic traits that were seen as "undesirable" and "not socially acceptable," and I guess I had reached my goal. However, I didn't expect *this* kind of reaction. I thought I'd be complimented on my "coping skills," but instead I got slapped with this. It made me angry. It really pissed me off. I had done all that work only for someone to look at me and say "no, Autism looks like THIS." Ever since then, I've wondered if I'm Autistic enough. I don't even know who I am without that mask anymore. It makes me severely depressed. I was encouraged (and sometimes forced) by NT people to change my behavior to make THEM more comfortable, and now that I have nobody believes me when I tell them my diagnosis. What a joke. I hope someday I can get back some of my former self. I've been allowing myself to stim here and there because it feels good. My entire life I've never allowed myself to do that. Sometimes I question myself though, and ask myself "do I really need to do this, or am I just pretending so I feel more autistic?" I'm sad you guys. I'm really, really sad.
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aspergers
|
So firstly let me start off by saying that I know OCD and Depression are immensely comorbid, mainly because of the life impairment and constant distress it provokes.
That said I wanted to ask about something I heard on the fly once, namely that OCD (the more fluid type) and Anxiety can morph into feeling like depression, if that's a topic you're worried about.
Lately I've been getting strong bouts of depressive moods (more than sad) during the periods when my SOCD and EOCD subside. I notice the mood, I get slightly alarmed and then I rumminate about it, deepening the feeling. Then I am able to do some CBT cognitive reframing that make it subside surprisingly fast. ...as if I'm calming an obsession with a compulsion. Cause I don't think I've become That good at doing CBT on myself.
Given how good OCD is at giving you intrusive thoughts and intrusive feelings on matters you care about, how plausible is that OCD can give you "intrussive depression feelings", separate from the expected comorbid depression? Anyone else experience anything similar? Or is this just a known fact I am unaware of?
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OCD
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"the sparkles of life have diminished...and all that's left is a grain of salt. the one grain which i eat, and perish into the hands of death, useless to the world. i'm sorry, world"
Hello, I saw my online friend and project assistant post this bio on her social media and she hasn't been active for a little bit. She had past emotional trauma and her personal life isn't exactly easy...
I've been an outlet for her to vent her personal struggles, but I was inactive for 2 months due to busy personal life. I am very concerned. Am I interpreting this wrong?
​
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depression
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Last night I had the nightmares from trauma and when i woke up i found myself having the same dreadful feelings that just knocked the shit out of me. Pretty exhausted. Just wanted to lie down and let go of everything.
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ptsd
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Basically my obsessions are revolving about the sensations of existing. I obsess over the thoughts of good and evil, happiness and sadness, etc. and if they actually exist or not. I tend to stop myself during emotional moments and try to pinpoint what emotions actually are, making it hard to properly experience anything. Obviously I wish this didn’t happen, but something in my head makes me feel like I “need” to be aware of this stuff, because if not I’d be going through life as a robot or something. How can I make it so I don’t feel like I need to obsess over things?
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OCD
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I came through the idea I have ADHD. I am struggling to know if I should get a diagnosis or not. I barely think about anything else right now since the beginning of the week.
Did a diagnosis helped you to struggle less with inattention? Loss of focus? did you start to function normally? Was it the first step of a new journey? Looking back, would you prefer not knowing?
I am in a state where I stay 8 hours in front of my computer and doing nothing at work, and nothing productive for me, just "zoning". I scroll the phone, jump between different app in loop, and if I succeed to stop the loop to get back to my work, I just close my eyes.
Would a diagnosis will help that? Ofc with therapy or meds following it.
And what if there is no diagnosis? Will i still be in that loop? It scares me.
Maybe I should just change job, but I am afraid it will always be the same. It was always the same.
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ADHD
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It's really hard. I think my family tried to raise me in a bubble and prevent me from realizing that I wasn't normal. I had big dreams. I struggled socially when I was young, but my mom always told me that things were better and people were more mature as they got older. This meant I could continue to dream big.
Once I graduated college and started working, I continued to struggle in some ways but I stayed positive and kept moving around. It wasn't until i had the same social problems everywhere I went that I realized that I was the problem.
It was hard to come to this conclusion because the people in my life kept denying this and trying to inspire me to push further. I believed them. I didn't think it was possible that I never had a chance from the beginning.
Looking back at it now, I hate them all. I hate the people who inspired me to keep trying. I hate the ones who gave me false hope. I hate the ones who tried to prevent me from seeing my limitations and get the help I needed.
I'm well into adulthood now. I've been on the wrong life path for decades. I've finally given it up. Now, I have nothing. I steadily descend into poverty. I don't trust my family because they tried to hide this from me. I don't talk to them because when I do they still feed me lies. I've lost my friends. I've lost my job. I have no idea how to be myself or be happy.
Nobody wants to hear me complain about this, either. They want me to be positive. They don't want to hear me talk, anyway. I don't think well. I'm slow to respond. I'm too honest and straightforward. I hesitate and stutter if I know I'm supposed to lie or spin something positively. I'm quickly silenced.
If I talk or if I spend too much time around people who don't want to hear me talk, the silencing turns to bullying. I get bullied. They pick on me, play with me, and take advantage of me until I finally leave. They never wanted me there to begin with. They pretended to be because they wanted to show and believe that they were good people, but they aren't what they pretend. They hate me and want me gone.
I'm finally listening. I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of being abused. I'm tired of looking for happiness where it isn't and hoping for something that is impossible. I am staying away from them. I have silenced and isolated myself.
This might sound sad to you, but despite the descent into poverty and looming threat of death I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Why force myself into groups of people who hate me? Why try to pretend I'm normal when it hurts more than anything else? Why try to press further when I simply... can't? Why tell anyone this when nobody wants to hear it?
I am right where I'm supposed to be now. This is the truth. Maybe someone will finally finish the job and get rid of me. Maybe I will. Not yet though, it seems. My one trip to the grocery store each week and otherwise seclusion is doing the trick for now.
Thank you for listening.
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aspergers
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My best friend has OCD and I was diagnosed myself a few months ago. I'm still trying to understand my and her diagnosis. What would you say are the best books about OCD? Preferably written by someone who suffers from OCD too.
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OCD
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Does anyone else do things that triggers them... like things that your abused was making you do you do now and just get triggered and go down the rabbit hole( if you know what I mean!
If you have how you over come it ?
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ptsd
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Hello. i have asked the question several times but i am very nervous and scared. I have been struggling with muscle twitching for 1 year now it occurs in any part of my body. in my hands, fingers, buttocks, feet, scalp, sides. Almost everywhere !!! I would add that I struggle with extra anxiety, hypochondria, OCD, panic and dp / dr! I do not take any medication for these. I also do not take sedatives or antidepressants. That's pretty much the problem. I’m afraid something serious brain disease is causing this, I have constant compulsion thoughts about it. I don't want to go to the doctor just with someone like this already, please reassure me!
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OCD
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I do exercising, talking therapy + herbal treatment: Milk thistle, CBD oil, herbal teas (Valerian root, Gotu kola, Passionflower, Lemon balm, Ginseng, Ginkgo, Lavender, St.John's Wort)
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ptsd
|
Does anyone else feel like they have PTSD from their OCD? I have had several types of OCD over the years, and there have been times when I was in so much distress I almost just said “fine I’ll just go do/become whatever it is I fear doing/becoming even though it’s not me and I don’t want to and I basically have no control over my life anymore.” And in those moments while there was some comfort in my loss of identity, it also ended up being really traumatizing long term, so now I hate being told what to do by anyone, even myself.
It really feels like PTSD, but if anyone asked what traumatized me I would have to just say myself. Is that even valid?
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OCD
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I know it sounds very classic OCD, but isn't OCD stuff supposed to feel like you have to do it? I don't feel like anything bad will happen if I don't do it.
I just constantly count the words I read instead of reading them. As soon as I realize, I stop myself. But then 10 seconds later I'll be back to counting and not even realize. It's just this automatic thing like breathing.
The problem is I can't focus on anything I read. The words get replaced by numbers. I can force myself to read the words instead but as soon as I get into the flow of reading and forget to consciously not count, the counting starts again.
This is very disruptive to my life as I need to do a lot of reading for work and for entertainment.
I'm just wondering if anyone has heard of a way to treat this and who I can talk to. All of my therapists over the years have been stumped.
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OCD
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If anyone’s looking for a ray of hope right now, I just watched Rocketman and it was just the inspiration I needed. It’s a movie about Elton John’s emotionally abusive childhood, his subsequent abusive relationship and substance abuse problems, suicide attempts, and finally his recovery. Elton John produced it, i loved how honest it was and how it didn’t glorify mental illness, it glorified recovery.
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ptsd
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What I find ironic is that I'm so anxious about covid despite the fact that I've already had my first dose of the moderna covid vaccine I'm just waiting for my second dose in mid October, and paranoid about getting sick in general, yet my bedroom is practically a health hazard because it's so messy. I feel like if I tidy my room it involves touching things which might not necessarily be clean and I would worry about germs on my hands and feel like I had to wash my hands every time I touched something. But if I don't tidy my room, I'm possibly exposing myself to several different things that aren't good for my health either(dust, insects, mould etc) it's not that I like living like this I hate it but when the anxiety is so overwhelming that's all you can think about and all rational thinking vanishes
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OCD
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Hey wonderful people of r/OCD! Quick question: are any of you on Effexor for OCD? I started it about 2 almost 3 years ago and I take a high dose (I feel like) of 37.5 x3 a day. I still am pretty darn anxious. I know CBT is a huge part and I'm not expecting a magic pill,, I just feel like I should be less anxious. I feel like on my bad days im back to how I was before meds.
So I was wondering if any of you are taking this medication and if so, what's your experience and if you're on a high ish dose too? (Of course you don't have to say if you're not comfortable)
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OCD
|
Hello, all! First post here! I stumbled across this community a bit ago and thought I'd finally join! Recently, I've been struggling with a mix of real-event and moral scrup OCD, mostly the latter, and I tend to get wildly intrusive thoughts about being a good person and being "well liked" by society.
One of the interesting things I've noticed happen to me when I'm dealing with these thoughts is that I often compare myself way too much to fictional characters. For example, I'm a big Marvel (MCU) fan but when I watch the movies, I get irrationally upset with myself for not being a hero or a martyr for a cause like the characters are. I also enjoy that show Once Upon a Time, where everyone is all about hope and love, so when I catch myself not living like that I feel like I've failed. Philosophical quotes from many movies/shows get stuck in my head and I constantly ruminate about the messages/moral statements of the pieces to make sure I live my life exactly that way too. Otherwise, I'm a terrible person, I'll never be respected, and that's probably why not many people like me.
I guess you can say I'm way too influenced by fictional characters. I 100% know they're not real and they're written exaggerated to tell a better story but my brain can't tell the difference. They feel a little too real to me, probably because I spend too much time thinking about them, so I get all down on myself for not living up to the their high moral standards. It also probably doesn't help that I mostly consume "hero" media or happy-ending Disney films were it's so obvious the characters are being played up. Even still, I somehow always find myself in turmoil for not being as "good" as a person who only exists in some fantasy world.
* (\*Also, I find it's another another way for me to reassurance seek. "Well, if character XYZ went through this, did this, said this, etc, and is still a 'good' person, then I can be too!")
Does this happen to anyone else here? Do you compare yourself too much to fictional characters and get upset that you aren't like them?
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OCD
|
I am on Zoloft. I'm wondering what the differences are if I was taking any of the other SSRIs
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depression
|
Hi.
I got diagnosed with ocd at the age of 16 where i had harm ocd.
I did ERP and it went away.
Then when i was 21 i started smoking weed and i got this scary high and started to think all kinds of scary thoughts. I went my way for years to understand if these thoughts were ocd or not, i was so afraid of developing schizo or psychosis so i started to google and search alot until i finally found releaf that it was infact ocd. I thought that me figuring it out would solve my ocd and that i would get rid of these thoughts. But now it feels even more complicated. I obsess, but i dont even know what i obsess over. It feels wierd. My thoughts dont scare me and i dont get anxiety because everytime i get a thought, i accept that i have that thought and then it goes away, until another thought comes up. I dont know if what i am doing now is reassurance or not. I dont know what my compulsions are. I dont know if me thinking about it is a compulsion. I just ruminate and obsess over something or nothing? I dont know what and its making me frustrated. I dont know how to do ERP because of this..
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OCD
|
Am I manic or just happy?
So for context, I just got out of a five year (ages 17-22) relationship that was pretty draining, I felt like I was sacrificing a lot of myself to be with him. I recently found the courage to end it, and ever since then it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have been hooking up with a guy and already going on dates 3 weeks post break up and don’t feel sad at all.
I have really bad anxiety, ADHD, and depression, with a little bit of OCD. A lot of my obsessions and anxiety comes behind other mental health issues that may be underlying. I get a lot of anxiety that I’m bipolar all the time. So lately since I’ve been feeling happy and I’ve been freaking out that I’m actually manic. Am I manic or am I just happy and relieved? It just seems like I can stay positive a lot easier with everything being turmoil in my life, like getting a new job, moving out of my house into a new one, having a puppy, and ending that long-term relationship.
I’ve been on Zoloft for 4-5 months now and it’s been working but since I change the circumstances of my life it seems to be working a lot better now. Is this normal? I’m freaking out that I may have bipolar that’s undiagnosed and I’m expecting this huge crash of depression. What do you guys think?
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OCD
|
I was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. I've also had OCD symptoms my entire life.
When I was 19, I very briefly had a friend who was 16 online. At first I didn't know they were 16, so I thought they were cute. Upon finding out they were 16, they became my "little sibling" and I lost all interest in them in any romantic way or otherwise.
That being said, I still occasionally obsess over whether the friendship was inappropriate. The only thing my mind can even find to latch on to in this friendship is that I was pretty affectionate with them. I'm naturally a very affectionate person, and it genuinely wasn't intended to come off as romantic. But I'm still cripplingly terrified that either I secretly did intend to date them, even though I know I didn't, that I made them feel uncomfortable, or that anyone who somehow knew about the situation would call me creepy or weird. I honestly didn't want to be weird or cross their boundaries in any way, and I know I can't control how other people see me.
I guess I've just noticed as a woman on the spectrum that it's extremely easy to be misunderstood, and I'm scared of having malicious intentions ascribed where there are none. This is probably stupid, as I literally didn't do anything and even told my boyfriend "[Insert name] is only 16 or so, they're my little sibling now" and "[Insert name] thinks I can't date her bc she's physically male, but it's bc she's 16... I'm almost 20, I'm not comfortable with that". But part of my brain wants me to think the reason why I feel worried is because I did something wrong, whether I meant to or not. Another thing about me is that I'm really bad at setting boundaries with others or being assertive, and I feel worried that my lack of straight up saying I didn't want to date could be taken as if I was interested. Even though I wasn't.
I also compared this person to someone I used to know bc they reminded me of them, and that person was someone I did have a crush on. Looking back, what I said is actually a little cringe and can probably be taken the wrong way. I would never want to do that to someone, so it makes me feel icky.
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OCD
|
There’s moments where my OCD actually makes me laugh. For example, i obsess over a certain amount of things, i get so many compulsions and my two braincells are arguing if i should or should not act up on them. I even write down the stuff sometimes or the questions i want to ask someone and then here comes the moment of “eh it actually is not that big of a deal” and i just act like i didn’t spend like the whole day obsessing over a certain thing and deleting everything that i wrote down. Sometimes i laugh about it and think to myself “seriously?”. Does anyone else have stories like this?
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OCD
|
i'm struggling with depression, OCD and anxiety every day. my coworkers and boss don't know it. i always zone out, have a blank expression on my face and stare at the walls. idk how to look happy. when my coworker randomly said i looked "scary" i was ready to break down right there. i think he could tell that it hurt me when he said that because he clarified that he was joking and idk...it just made me even more sad cus he's def not joking. maybe could an experienced person give me a tip on how to fake my happiness? or make myself look Happier. i'm a girl if it helps
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depression
|
This is something that pops into my head every once in a while, and usually when I'm bed. I get a random flash or thought about an image more gruesome than anything I could ever think of normally. And it's so vivid and so real that it makes me sick, but after the first image, my brain doesn't want to stop. It's like once it starts I cannot stop my brain from producing them. All flashes of just nightmares and monsters. I'm 20 but sometimes I debate turning in the light when the images get bad. Is this ocd do you think? I discovered I have hyperphantasia, which makes everything I can imagine look extremely real in my head. Ive been up for two hours tonight cus whenever I close my eyes, I think about it again and the loop continues. Please tell me your thoughts on this
|
OCD
|
Isn’t that the whole point of crying? To vent and get the weight of off your chest? So why don’t I feel any better? Why do I just want to continue crying instead? Why doesn’t anybody notice? Why can’t I stop crying? It hurts
|
depression
|
i’m so tired i’m too tired for suicide. i’m so fucking tired. all i want to do is stay in bed for at least 2 months alone but i can’t even stay in bed for 2 days alone because i’ve missed too many days of school i had to go get an evaluation and get sent to therapy help school thingy. i’ve been through this before but i could handle being tired, now i can’t. i just want to sleep forever. or be in a coma, forever.
i was dreading school on monday but then realized “hey, i don’t have real school,” and i got this huge wave if relief.
maybe all i do need is a break to get all my shit as together as it can be. i’m still depressed and i’ll still have depression but i guess i’ll be able to handle it more.
|
depression
|
Yay, summer means vacation! Or, in my case, four weeks of existential dread because all my routines and daily happenings are gone and I end up spending weeks doing nothing.
My therapist is on vacation too, ofc. I really don't know how to cope with vacation. One week I can do. It's enough time to make some plans and still not lose too much routine. Four weeks however? I honestly barely recall what I've been doing these days because I'm just in the "get through the day" mode. I hate it. I get so bored and restless, but the inactivity makes it such a mountain to climb to actually \*do\* anything worthwhile. And when I'm in this mindset, I can't think of anything to do at all. It's just empty. As the cream on the cake, this all is making my depression so much worse and actually getting back into the work rhythm is going to be hell.
Honestly like, does anyone have some pro-tips on how to set a routine for yourself? How do I make plans and stick to them when my brain is stuck in a loop and all I want is to hide from the world? I want to do things and visit places but I can barely force myself out of the apartment because I have no motivation to do anything and even when I do, I get stuck on the choices and alternatives.
So like, any advice is more than welcome. Be it apps, schedule-planners, you name it. I just want to get out of this haze.
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aspergers
|
I don’t know if I have PTSD or not, but I am dealing with a traumatic event. When I was very young (maybe 12 or younger I can’t really remember) I looked up something on the internet I rather not say and I came across some images that were so horrific and gory that they still haunt me to this day. I remember struggling to suppress them for months after I saw them, but I eventually managed to suppress them enough to the point that I could make myself believe that the event never happened. I even have trouble remembering the months it was still affecting me. I went on for years after this functioning fairly normally. Although, the images still tried to pop up here and there, but I was able to quickly suppress them before they could come back. Then, last Friday night my sister was playing some Halloween music in her car that reminded me of the event somehow, and this time it came back so strong that I wasn’t able to suppress the images and they were back in my mind again. I was overwhelmed with this intense feeling of depression, but at the same time I was relieved to finally take a break from constantly suppressing it. But later that night I started feeling intense anxiety and nausea. I even started to sweat profusely. And now I’m still having trouble re-suppressing the images. More than anything I feel extremely ashamed for letting my morbid curiosity get the better of me and searching for something that could lead me to find such horrible images. I’m also afraid of what this past event says about who I am as a person, and I’m scared to say anything to anyone because I don’t want them to think I’m a horrible person for searching such a thing. Even though I did it when my brain was much less developed I still feel this overwhelming guilt for doing it. I also don’t want to let what I saw affect how I see the world. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope it wasn’t too difficult to understand. Basically, I’m lost, and all I want to do is completely forget it all.
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ptsd
|
tl;dr: Tis the season for high anxiety.
It's just task after task after task...
I selected the cards and bought them online, they were delivered two weeks ago. And there they sat. Day before yesterday I opened the box. Yesterday I made lines for two columns: Personal and Non-personal (business contacts and a couple of groups I belong to). Today I looked at the list and I have five names under personal and then I guess my attention span was drained yet again. Today, I just got to the list again, but I have to run an errand and I probably won't get back to the cards again.
Just the whole towering wall of undoableness of thinking about finishing the lists, writing each card, addressing the envelopes, stamps... and of course mistakes and do-overs.
I don't even want to think about gifts!
Just waiting for January peace.
Gah.
|
ADHD
|
It always strikes me how one thought I'm ruminating over will feel like the absolute worst thing in the world. Then, when my brain for whatever reason decides to settle on another thought, the previous rumination suddenly seems silly. Like, why was I ever so obsessed with that? Inevitably, I will continue to loop through the same thoughts, with each one feeling disastrous at the time and the others much less so.
|
OCD
|
I hate texting so much. Every time I get the little buzz notification my brain goes into panic thinking the person on the other end is mad at me or doesn’t like me. I have a hard time discerning tone through text with most people so it’s probably where the obsessions started and they just got worse over time. Now my solution is always to never respond unless absolutely necessary. Which makes me feel bad because I feel like I miss out on connecting with friends because I just won’t text them - which only feeds my little cycle. (I have the same problems with calling people too. But it’s a bit more manageable to push through the intrusive thoughts knowing I can at least hear the other persons voice) I only got diagnosed a few months ago so this is a recent realization of “oh so this is an ocd habit”. Anyways just a little rant because I have been feeling bad about my texting habits lately.
|
OCD
|
Hey all, I have a quick question. Just typing this in a rush on my phone, so I apologize if my formatting isn’t the greatest.
I just got my first prescription of Concerta (18mg). It’s a pretty low dose since I’m just starting on it to see how I do on it, but I was just wondering if I can drink tonight? I was planning on having some rum and coke and taking my medication tomorrow morning (so probably around an 8-9ish hour window), but I’m not sure if I’ll be safe to take it tomorrow. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
|
ADHD
|
I have a really hard time throwing things away, especially old things I've had for a while. They don't have to be special, either. Examples I can think of include boxes and broken objects. Every time I grab it and begin to walk to the garbage, I get this rush of extreme personification and empathy for the object. I could imagine how much it would suck to be in a secure, warm home just to be randomly thrown away at any point. I tend to create a voice in my head for the objects, as well. They always ask cliche morbid questions like "where are we going?" and "am I gonna get thrown away?". Sometimes, when its really bad, I'll hear things like "no no no no" and "Please don't". Most of the time this sort of thought pops into my head, I'm unable to throw the object away out of an extreme feeling of guilt for causing it distress. The box is going back to my room with the other five. I don't even enjoy moving objects which have been in one place for a while out of concern for causing it distress from being separated from the other objects.
For example, when I moved out of my house of \~4 years at age 10, my biggest fear (which I cried over a few times) was that I would lose a small lego in the carpet or something and I would move out without it. It was incomprehensibly distressing to imagine that my negligence would cause the abandonment of a lego stud. Kind of silly, but even now, putting myself in the place of that lego is hard.
Does this sort of thinking ring true for others? I've been this way my whole life and it's just now clicked that it's unusual.
|
OCD
|
so i have been getting intrusive thoughts about stuff recently, anyway i like watching reaction channels usually and there is this one, that i didn't watch anymore but was just subscribed. anyway i saw a video on my feed about twin brothers, who were basically kissing in the thumbnail and they were reacting to it.
i used to think i had an incest kink, but i have a weird search compulsion of incest smut and i have stopped it mostly, anyway i don't like seeing it cause it give me intrusive thoughts about my own family.
but first off why would they react to that in the first place, and then i thought it was a miosunderstanding and that they just looked alike, so i clicked the video to read comments, and it wasn't a misunderstanding.
i hate how people do and react to stuff for content. cause like it isn't their responsibility to not watch it cause of me, i don't even know them. but like why react/watch it in the first place.
|
OCD
|
TW: Addiction
I, like many others, take medication for depression and anxiety. I'm one of the (un)lucky millions who are prescribed Effexor. It is the bane of my existence and I hate how well it has helped my depression/anxiety because that means I stay on it. It's my third type of medication to help my depression and the most effective. My doctor believes it's the best one for me and due to the results, I agree. But I detest it.
It has the most severe withdrawals I have ever experienced. I used to be addicted to nicotine and various opiates. I went through pretty serious withdrawals for each of those for several days/weeks. Pretty rough nausea, fatigue, fevers, the works.
Effexor? I don't get it refilled immediately or am blocked from getting my refill due to lack of being able to go get it and within hours I'm horribly ill. I can't move, I'm suffering severe vertigo, can't keep food down, high fever, weakness, fatigue, and more. Simply taking a dose a couple hours late causes this, it compounds the longer I miss the dose. I looked up some ways to manage the withdrawals and was hit with the oh-so-comforting of "don't ever do it workout tapering and medical care as it's extremely dangerous."
And I end up paying an ADHD tax. I'm too ill to drive, I can barely walk. So I have to pay to have it delivered (thank God my state allows it to be delivered). I just got my dose after 18 hours and the only times I remember being sicker is the time I went two days without it and when I had a medical procedure.
I absolutely hate being dependent on a medication that can be fatal if I miss a dose when I am so terrible at getting it filled and remembering to take it. Anyone else have similar struggles?
Thanks for letting me vent.
|
ADHD
|
..and I LOVE IT. I've started uni, and on my first night, i lost my virginity, though it was awkward, wasnt as good as i hoped ofr, and despite seeing her a few nights after, i couldn't get it up, and then she blocked me, though i don't know why if it had anything to do with this. Everyone tells me how "confident" i am and ive kind of become this type of person i've wanted ot be for so long. I don't want this post to sound like a brag, but i'm so f\*cking proud of myself. I've never been okay with embracing being autistic, there's some things i like, and funnily enough these girls im friends with (defo an autistic thing i have so many more girls as friends than boys, not helped by the fact the girl to boy ratio here is like 55-45) do say they love the fact how i "have no filter", usually when i talk about sex and sh\*t like that. Even when I'm sober, I just seem to have this energy which I never knew i had. It's mad because there's even a guy i went to high school with now saying how he "wishes he got to know me" and stuff like that. This time last year, I was about to have a mental breakdown, and spiral into depression, 2 suicide attempts, self harm, you name it, i had it. Now I surround myself not only with others but my own self, i am beginning to love myself for this new person who i am, it's not fake, i feel like i've just discovered it.....i dont know if anyone here can relate. But i feel this forum whilst it has been good for me and does produce some useful and constructive discourse, it does seem to be an echo chamber for people just complaining about NTs and how shitty autism is.
|
aspergers
|
[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/p8ts1o/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others.
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aspergers
|
Everything I do my brain tells me I’ve done it wrong and terrible things are going to happen, or it says wait did you actually do your rituals or did you forget even though I literally just did it all. It’s so stressful when literally everything I do I have to check it’s ok. Like is it ok to have a shower tonight or is it unlucky? Should I walk on this side of the road or that one?
I really hate OCD. It makes doing anything so stressful and overwhelming.
|
OCD
|
I've never found a place where I could put the things I do that I think are so weird and maybe someone can relate to me. I have a really weird habit of like when I'm watching something movie TV show it's almost like I have an Impulse that I want it to finish faster so I press the thing that fast forward it 10 seconds but I'm constantly compulsed to do it again and I don't know why!
|
OCD
|
Let me explain what i mean- OCD is known to be “very easily curable” and whenever someone tells me that i just break inside. Like all this pain and suffering ive gone through isnt even that serious and can be easily cured. And if i actually “got cured” of it, that feeling would just be so much worse. This massive part of my identity? The reason i suffer? I dont get to explain how it is a part of my life? I cant say it properly in words without sounding like an attention seeker. I dont know how to describe it. Its weird because if i could just have my OCD stop existing i would do it without even thinking. But i dont want to be “cured” of it. I sound stupid rn im just gonna stop
|
OCD
|
I have been worrying constantly for a long long time and it’s slowly taking more and more of a toll.
I’m now at the point where I can’t talk to anyone without worrying that I accidentally said something hurtful or abusive (or something else that’s extremely bad) - same goes for text messaging.
It’s getting so severe that I can’t go to the store alone anymore and going to work is super hard.
Every time I talk to someone I get the debilitating worry of “what if I just told them to k*** them self by mistake??” I never would wish that upon anyone for any reason.
Same thing happens when I message someone.
I also can’t drive over a speed bump nor can I do anything involving heat or fire (even electricity is getting intimidating).
What do I do?
|
OCD
|
Does that mean it only gets better from here? Has my depression peaked? Can I look forward to something now? Lol
|
depression
|
I (20F) was very depressed during my later years in HS. This was before I had this pediatrician because for some reason I kept switching to different ones by accident but now I have the same one for three years and today she noticed my cuts on my forearm while she was taking my pulse.
She did ask me how long ago these were and all that, I semi told the truth but the ones she pointed out were about my first year at college even though I told her HS. She asked if I have a therapist, if I had one back then which is no to all cause money issues. Asked how I got better and honestly even though I told her friends helped me which is also semi true, I’m not really sure how I got better? I don’t think I’m as depressed as my first year at college now, but it’s more like just being here and not feeling happy or sad type of feeling. Idk these were questions that I didn’t rly know how to answer. It was just frightening for me because I’ve gone years without any of my pediatricians seeing my cuts and so when she pointed them out casually I started feeling my walls come up because I hate talking about it now.
I noticed she also put depression screening on my active conditions; this makes me wonder if she’s gonna keep monitoring my arms and mental health because for some reason that low key makes me feel on edge. Idk , has any of your doctors ever seen your cuts?
|
depression
|
Over time, I have noticed that the reward (which already was small) I receive from doing things has decreased. Maybe 5 years ago, and even before meds, it seemed to require less stimulation than presently in order to feel happy and stimulated. The positive emotion I felt in the past from drinking coffee, exercising, loud music etc.... now seems nearly unattainable. without excessive and unsustainably stimulating action. Has this happened to you, or do you have advice?
​
Thank you
|
ADHD
|
It’s only bringing more negative stuff up.
I know that’s kind of the point but it hurts. I’d rather just be oblivious to the fact that I need coping methods to stay mentally good. I wish I could just stop going but I know I need it and it would let me and others down. Fell free not to read this it’s just basically me writing to the void of reddit.
|
ptsd
|
If ocd can stop ruining lives that would be gr8, thnx bye
|
OCD
|
Hi, I'm recently seriously investigating whether I have aspergers and am looking at getting a private diagnosis. One thing I have recently noticed is I am frequently asking if AJ, my wife is OK, multiple times a day/evening. I believe it's because I am having trouble reading the body language and expression. I was wondering if this could possibly be a trait of aspergers.
Thanks
|
aspergers
|
Ugh. I started back on meds about 3 months ago and loved how productive and motivated I was. I felt motivated to get stuff done and was so happy I was feeling like my old self again. But for the past month and a half, I go through the week on a roller coaster. Monday and Tuesday I feel great;I get college work done, study, laundry, cooking good meals, exercising, all the good things I was missing out on before meds. But by the end of the week, it's like I run out of steam and just feel so unmotivated. All I want to do is lay in bed and read a good book or other things I find fun.
I have this picture in my mind of what my daily life SHOULD look like, and I'm struggling with either embracing this and going hard for the few days I am really productive and just accepting the fact I'm "lazy" the rest of the week. Or if I should try and find a way to make each day productive.
As a quick note, I'm wondering if maybe I should increase my meds. I typically skip my meds on the weekends, mostly because I sleep in and if I take them too late I can't fall asleep. I'm wondering if over the weekend it gets out of my system so when I start on Monday it's hitting me harder and then as the week goes on I'm already building immunity to it? I think I'll talk to my doctor about that theory and see what she says.
|
ADHD
|
I was reading on one of the ADHD subs about people's experiences and feelings regarding a late ADHD diagnosis, and it got me curious how people in this community would answer.
So for those who experienced a late autism diagnosis, how did you feel? How do you feel now? Have you made any changes to your life that you'd never have considered pre diagnosis?
|
aspergers
|
I had a lot of random compulsions/tics as a child which disappeared (either on their own or through therapy, not sure). A lot of them were repetitive facial movements and one of them has come back, but I have no idea what triggered that. It's annoying and I've told some close family members but they weren't much help, they told me it might go away if I don't worry about it etc. I don't know if I am overreacting or kind of panicking for no reason, but I'm scared that this is just the start of the recurrence of what I had to go through as a child.
This is mostly just a small rant, but can someone reassure me? Where is this suddenly coming from, does it have something to do with my mental state right now or is it just random? How can I make it go away? I'm thankful for whoever tries to help or share their thoughts and experiences.
|
OCD
|
I am completely burned out from my fancy fucking tech career and endless home improvement projects. In the past 10 years I have put myself through school, built a six figure income, and my wife and I have remodeled our home mostly on our own (which has nearly caused us to divorce in itself).
Now even simple things like having to negotiate the particulars of cooking food ties my stomach in knots. The thought of having to guess at what will be acceptable to my wife, then propose a possible dish, then have her change the idea by giving her opinions adds so much complication in my mind.
It's too much. It isn't her fault. She is allowed to have her own wants and needs. I just can't handle it. If I had it my way there would be rice and vegetables for every meal, because it's simple.
I am not functioning anymore and I have no idea what to do now.
|
aspergers
|
I honestly don't know where to start. I am conflicted with myself if whether or not I really want to do this. In regards to sharing what I am about to share. I haven't talked to anyone about it so I guess I am hoping for an answer or just wanting it to get off my chest? Perhaps both? Doesn't matter, I guess I just want to gain something. I went through serious depression when I was 15 years old. I mean it was fucking bad. I have severe anxiety and I overthink everything. It was to the point where I wanted to kill myself every single day. I was tired. There would be times where I would cry in the middle of the night because I felt so alone in terms of what I was going through. There would be times where I would just get on my knees and beg God to stop all the pain that I was enduring. I just couldn't anymore with myself. I hated myself. I cursed myself for being so weak and vulnerable and not having my shit together. That's just some perspective that I could give to you. I honestly don't know how I made it through that point in my life. I am currently 16 and some of those feelings still linger. I am certainly convinced that they will never go away. I still feel worthless, weak, and a bit tired. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Everybody has been asking me what I want to do. It feels suffocating. I feel immense anxiety. I recently quit my part-time job because I just got tired of working. I have no motivation to do anything. I want to change myself so bad because I know what I can possibly accomplish in my life but... I just can't because I don't have the willpower to push myself. I hate myself for not having a strong mindset even though I know it's possible for myself to build one. I hate that I can't stick to things and end up just quitting because they get difficult. I long to find my purpose in life because maybe that will help me stop being so worthless. I am tired. I don't want to go back to where I was at that horrible point of time in my life. I want to be in a relationship but I don't have any self-confidence and I am extremely introverted. I want to be great in life truly but I am just rotting endlessly from the inside. It's truly depressing knowing what great things that you could possibly accomplish in your life yet not having the power in order to do just that. I actually do have questions. How do you change for the better and start living the life that you want to live? How can I start being more positive? What should I do if I want to find what I want to do with my life in terms of finding a career? How can I develop self-confidence? How can I be more outgoing? How can I build a strong mindset? I am desperate.
Thank you if you're reading this. I just needed to vent and let it all out. I hope that this could bring some comfort to you if you're going through something similar. Sorry if there were spelling errors.
|
depression
|
I get quite lonely playing my favourite game alone all the time; If anyone shares this as a special interest then hit me up!
I can play on PC and Xbox. If you require any other info just message me. Random post I know but thought I'd chance it.
Hope you're all well, cheers.
|
aspergers
|
As someone with dermatillomania, trichotillomania, OCD, and ADHD-PI, I pick and pull at my scalp, calluses, lips, hair, and face to, well, a bloody extent.
I’ve seen a couple posts recently mentioning skin-picking experiences in an ADHD context, so now I’m curious. Is there an actual link? Or is this all a coincidence?
EDIT: OCD
|
ADHD
|
I don't know if this has been asked before, but has there been any research linking ADHD with Alzheimer's? I think you probably know where I'm going with this, but at 40 I feel like I have zero working memory and am concerned about the obvious (to me) progression. I have had 1 biological grandparent, and 1 "step" grandparent go through it, and I'm kinda terrified. I'm curious as to whether ADHD has any contributing factors to this disease.
|
ADHD
|
I want to be able to help my girlfriend the best I can.
She tends to clean things a lot, such as her phone after we go out, or the groceries when we go shopping. I don’t mind any of these, because it helps her feel better. But sometimes, she gets really overwhelmed and has breakdowns.
It pains me so much to see her this way. She often asks me, “is this clean?” after she scrubbed it for a minute with a disinfectant wipe. I reassure her that it is clean.
She washes her hands so much to the point where they’re super red and dry and she’s self conscious about it. We’ve come up with a cut sock that she can put lotion on her hands before bed. We started this yesterday, and her hands already looked better.
She spends a lot of time in the shower scrubbing her body to make sure she’s clean.
I just gave some instances of things that happen, like the main stuff. Is there anything I can do to help her or ease her mind that things are clean? I hate seeing her so upset.
If anybody had any ideas, or any significant others whos partners have OCD, please lend me some advice. I hate seeing my girlfriend so upset.
|
OCD
|
My therapist praised me for practicing activities that were considered "good processing" one week and then the next week told me that those same practices should be dismissed through "mental blocking" and that I was poising myself to be a danger to others. What in the fuck?
I've got a video conference call with a therapist I used to meet with on Wednesday. I'm kind of tempted to cancel it because, given the last 5 months of therapy, it's all bullshit and what's considered "good and healthy" one week is suddenly something you should mentally block and is "detrimental to yourself and others" the next week
|
ptsd
|
I'm feeling a lot of pressure to attend this family gathering. But I'm really struggling with depression from being isolated. And large groups cause intense anxiety for me. And paradoxically they make me feel MORE lonely sometimes. But if I'm feeling lonely it seems stupid to avoid being around people. Also the last thing I need is for my family to be shit-talking me behind my back for not showing up.
Am I the only one with this kind of issue?
|
aspergers
|
I’ve always suspected I had ADHD but it didn’t affect my life that much until now. I was able to get good grades in school but now I just got my first job and I’m struggling a lot.
I also have social anxiety that prevents me from seeking any help that requires me to talk to a doctor unless it’s absolutely necessary lol. My anxiety in general has gotten 100x better over the last year for reasons I won’t get into, but the social anxiety is definitely still strong. But in general I’m more interested in focusing on ADHD over my anxiety right now because it’s having a more direct negative effect on my life rn.
I’m considering booking an appointment with circle medical because they seem like a good option and legitimate company, and I like that I don’t have to pay a monthly subscription. They also take my insurance and are in network so that’s a plus.
I was wondering how people’s experiences have been with circle medical and how you think it would be for someone like me with social anxiety. For appointments, is there a phone option or does it have to be a video call?
Honestly, I believe I would be fine talking about stuff that isn’t deeply personal- I’d be fine describing the struggles I’m having at work and my symptoms, but for some reason it just gives me anxiety and I can’t bring myself to book an appointment because it seems too scary lol.
I would like to hear people’s experiences with it so I can hopefully gain the courage to book the appointment, or so I can learn if it’s horrible and no longer consider it lol. Thanks in advance!
Edit: also wondering if they have their own pharmacy or a delivery option for prescriptions or if I need to fill prescriptions at my local pharmacy?
|
ADHD
|
I’m writing this after a couple hours now that I’ve recouped a bunch. Today was a fun day for me for the most part. I spent the better part of afternoon into early evening playing video games with the kids. I was enjoying playing with them and I wasn’t focused on anything else just enjoying the moment. Well the afternoon flew by and before knew it was dinner time, I started dinner and while was cooking I was still playing with them. We discovered a new area in the game we were playing and I didn’t pay attention to dinner, which was warming on the stove,I knew it was there but didn’t was too focused on the game.
Wife comes down get furious that I wasn’t pushing dinner out and still playing games with the kids. I stopped that moment and tried to help her with it but she was mad and upset. Said that she can’t trust me to take care of things. I was trying to apologize and make things better and say I know that I got too focused in the game but she didn’t want to hear anything.
For me I hate having people upset with me, it makes me feel horrible and I want to fix it most times really bad and I’ll push to get the other person to let me know what they are thinking or why they are mad at me. It’s usually not a good thing but it’s so hard for me as I feel stupid or I dunno but I need to know the issue and need to work on a solution.
I’m unsure how to explain in a way that she’ll understand that for me I live 90% of my week regimented and focused on a routine and can be fairly effective but when I relax and try to just be myself or get caught up in something(video games are bad for me but a lot of things steal my focus and rabbit hole here I come.) I am so infective that I fail.
How do you explain that what your doing is working really hard yet to rest of the world they perceive it as normal or less the normal effort. And then when you fail completely it’s like your efforts during the rest of the time are erased completely by the bad event.
|
aspergers
|
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