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Hello! Wherever you are right now I hope you’re well. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 37. Have struggled with anxiety, depression, fear, and unreasonably low self-confidence for most of my adult life. Love to read and recently started enjoying audio books while walking. Any good recommendations are appreciated!
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ADHD
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its sucked me too deep in and i cant get out of it. i cant see the truth anymore because im stuck in my ocd delusions and i just cant think normally. this isnt even a memory, i just got paranoid that i did something bad and kept making a fake mental image of it to compare to my memories over and over again for like over a month now and now i cant know for 1000% sure its wrong.
its still stuck. it wont go away. i have literal memories that cancel the possibility of this even happening, i KNOW this didnt happen, i know that i didnt even do this and since its relationship related i told my gf everything and how scared i am and she insists its not real, and i have a gut feeling too that i didnt do this thing. but NOTHING is good enough. i even had like 2 days where i had a moment of clarity and actually straight up realized that i didnt do this and its all my obsessions but NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR OCD and i just want it to go away. i was having such a good day today and it came back and i wanna die
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OCD
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I'm interested to know what's the range of symptoms are for PTSD, if you're willing to share your experiences and symptoms, it would be good to get a discuss going in the range and spectrum. Thanks for commenting
Take care ❤️
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ptsd
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Hello! My husband (34m) was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago. I have been a teacher for 10 years and he sought diagnosis when I suggested that he may have adhd.
I do feel I know a fair amount about adhd, my sister also has it and as a teacher, accommodating for adhd is part of my job.
Lately my husband has had a lot of requests that feel challenging for me to meet. I’m wondering if these are reasonable and if I’m the asshole for having a hard time adjusting.
Examples-
he doesn’t like to be asked questions in general. Even “how was your day?”
If I tell him something directly and he seems to agree and understand- like “tomorrow we are going to the store” he feels I can’t expect him to remember. He wants me to always use the “repeat back method.”
He also has been unemployed for quite some time. He says he needs my help to apply for jobs.
When I act even slightly annoyed that he’s forgotten something important, he says I am not being accommodating toward his disability.
I think my main issue is- he seems to expect me to adjust my behavior to make things as easy as possible for him, but he is not seeking any treatment.
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ADHD
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I am just so tired of trying to be happy when it’s not going to happen
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depression
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I’m a 26 year old women. Diagnosed with ADHD. I started new medication today.
Firstly, I don’t understand how people could take this medication to attend a party or have a euphoric mood.. I’m mean that sincerely, I cannot comprehend it and wish I could understand that effect.
I took the medication 2 hours ago and I just feel sleepy. My brain feels quieter which is nice. I still can’t bring myself to do my to-do list.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Or any tips or tricks?
Thanks
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ADHD
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I'm having a lot of problems in life right now. My job barely pays me but pressures me not to get another job, the customers and work conditions are shit. My mom's drug addiction is so bad that she buys baggies of random pills and the past 2 days has been hallucinating a lot and spewing total nonsense. In addition to my mental illnesses and loneliness.
First my mom has me drive her to a hair appointment which she's very late for. She never considers anyone else, only herself and never gets anywhere on time. I sit in my car in the parking lot to wait for her because I don't wanna waste gas money driving home since the place is kinda far. It got hot in my car but not unbearable.
She's getting highlights done so I expect it to be like 2 hours maybe. We'll 40 minutes later she walks to my car, hair untouched. Bags of stuff from stores. I ask wtf happened. So the salon didn't have an appointment written down for her. Instead of coming back to the car to tell me, or calling me to say that, she just walks around to other stores. And she doesn't understand why I'm so upset.
She made another appointment for of course my one busy day I'll be at work all day, so I have to walk with her back into the salon to change it. Place was very busy and we had to wait like a half hour just for that. The whole time, mom has no idea where we are and keeps saying random unrelated nonsense or trying to look for grocery items as if we're at a supermarket or something.
Then after that we have to go to 2 other stores, because she constantly wants to buy random stuff for home renovation projects that she messes up, then pays someone else who makes it worse. But if I don't let her do this, she throws tantrums so I just let it happen. She had no idea what aisle we were in half the time and randomly would mention people we haven't thought about in years. Idk.
(Also forgot to mention, the night before she'd randomly wake me up every 20 minutes because she'd hallucinate that I was talking to her or something. And had the thermostat turned up so I was sweating and uncomfortable.)
The last store we went to, after struggling to figure out what was going on and what she wanted, we need to go to customer service to return an item. By this point I had just been dealt so much. I was looking for the line to stand in and there wasn't one. One random guy standing off to the side. Then another few people came and stood in random locations. I was trying to figure out where the fuck the return line even began, I kept moving around, and some random lady walks up just as the associate returns to the desk and seemingly cuts everyone?
At this point I've just had it with all the mess and shout "I DON'T WORK HERE BUT CAN WE PLEASE GET IN AN ORDERLY LINE?????" very loud. I'm afraid I came off as mean and rude and entitled and feel very paranoid about it but one person did help me figure out what was going on. Also I was acquaintances with one guy behind the desk so that made it more awkward.
Even if it seems like not a big deal I feel awful about it like whenever this happens. I have nobody to talk to about this so I logged onto here to post this. The Reddit app kept crashing and that made it 100x worse but it seems to be okay now.
Just wishing I was "normal". Or had a different mom. Something. Hugs and support needed badly.
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aspergers
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Why does my good friend seem rather socially awkward with me (wont initiate contact / little reciprocation) but seems much better at work where he is very popular?
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aspergers
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I am a freshman in college with accommodations for adhd. one of these accommodations is extra time on assignments only if i ask before a due date. my problem is i have two overdue essays in one of my classes and my professor doesn’t allow late work at all. i’ve been procrastinating asking him to grade them even though it goes against his rules because i am scared of the answer being no. can someone give me advice on how to ask for an extension in a way that he might grade it even if it’s just for half credit? i am desperate.
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ADHD
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Sometimes when I think about what happened too much ( I normally think about it at night because that’s often a time where I’m alone with my thoughts or might be trying to sleep in less clothing etc ) it’s almost like I can feel him touching me. Like his hand between me legs or something and I try to ignore it because normally it’s not too strong but sometimes it is. I try to change positions, roll up in a ball, squeeze my legs shut, roll around, or put a blanket between my legs to make it stop. It normally happens when I try to sleep in little clothes or without underwear in loose clothing. Often changing clothes helps, but the idea of taking off my already loose clothing is frightening. I never gave it much thought until now. I tried googling it and uh maybe wasn’t the best idea cause I couldn’t like immediately find a reassuring answer within the first few results. I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced this or found a better solution.
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ptsd
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Last year was the first time I really started to experience depression and it was around this time. I am starting to feel the sad emptiness coming back again.
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depression
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When I was young, before preschool/kindergarten, I was babysat by a mormon woman. She had two children, a daughter my age and a son who was in middle/high school. The daughter was my best friend at the time and the son was mentally challenged. He would lure me into his room by playing the "Barbie Girl" song by Aqua, I loved Barbies. The mother would always make him take me to the bathroom, even though I knew where it was. He would touch me and force me to touch him. I still remember how cramped the space was and how he would stand in the stall with me while I went to the bathroom. I still remember how hot his penis always was. The babysitting stopped when I came home one day and told my mom that he had shoved his tongue in my mouth/down my throat. But neither of my parents knew the extent of the abuse until I was in middle school, half a state away.
Recently, I've come to the age where I should be getting a regular physical. The thought of opening my legs to anyone, let alone my female doctor, horrifies me to an extent I've never been frightened before. Even before she could explain anything, I was in tears and shaking uncontrollably. The speculum looks like a weapon to me. Even the thought of being in a hospital gown scares me. She says that I don't need to have one, but I want to have children and getting a physical is the first step to understanding my full health spectrum. I'm in therapy because I couldn't go through with the physical, and I still haven't been able to do it one year later. She won't put me out for it and only offers me ibuprofen and xanax.
Last night, even just thinking about the physical had me shaking and in tears. I curled up in a ball and closed my legs as tight as I could. Even now, typing this, I have my legs crossed tight. I think the son of my babysitter must have done more to me than just touching. I don't know how to cope with this. I'm still a virgin and have never had a real boyfriend. The last guy that tried to have sex with me was very insistent and I wasn't ready. He was disappointed and stopped talking to me when I pushed him away and accused him of only wanting me for sex. I want to have kids and I want to have sex, but I want to have them with someone I trust and love and who loves and trusts me back. I also have a horrible gag reflex and fear of blowjobs. I know that talking to my therapist is the best way to work through all of this but I have other issues that have taken precedence at the moment. I guess I just wanted to have the idea somewhere and vent a little. Thanks for allowing me to let this go into the void.
Please feel free to delete if not allowed.
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ptsd
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I just started experiencing ocd and intrusive thoughts and I'm still finding ways that will help but people can hear those thoughts I have and I know cause they respond to my thought or ill get stares when I go out like its really almost debilitating but I keep fighting. So it would really help if some of you who've had similar experiences could share with me their stories.
Thank you
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OCD
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Been battling with depression as long as I can remember. It's got to a point now where I'm just completely despondant and expressionless. Numb, no pain, no joy. I'm working on it... But in the meantime, it's very important that I learn to seem happy/joyful/enthusiastic because I have just started working as a fitness instructor. I need to coach fitness classes every day and my boss is getting seriously on my case about not bringing energy/enthusiasm into my classes.
I've tried so hard to fake it but I just can't get it right. I can't even fake a smile without it looking obviously fake (This has been pointed out, not just my own insecurity).
How do I pretend to be happy and enthusiastic for the sake of my job? I can't lose this job...
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depression
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(Don’t mind my stupid username. This is a throwaway account)
I’ve been doing a lot better with ocd as of late. I’m no longer living in hell. But even still, I have such a bad track record for doing erp homework for therapy. I often lie and say I watched every day but usually I only watch it 0-2 times per week.
I literally just cannot make myself do it. It’s so terrifying and I’m worried that if I watch the video the ocd will come back full force and I’ll just descend into hell again. I absolutely cannot let that happen, it was so terrible. What do I do, and how do you guys force yourselves to follow through with erps?
I’m also a huge procrastinator btw, that probably has something to do with it.
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OCD
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I was going for one of my daily walks when my step father who sexually assaulted me for months called out to me from his business vehicle. Im proud to say he didnt see me break down but I dont feel safe where I live anymore.
Its been a rough three years and I have ptsd from two situations. One from the abuse I suffered from his hands and one from the day and weeks after my son was born.
I guess I came here to get some comfort from people who have been through the same as I have
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ptsd
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Guys, I really need help. My OCD is suddenly way worse than usual - usually it's at like maybe a 4 out of 10 during the day, worse at night, but lately it's 10/10, sirens blaring, can't move, can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything. Only compulsions. I know I need to just ride the intrusive thoughts out without engaging but right now I *can't*. I'm barely able to write this post.
All of this to say, I really need to see a medical professional. But uh, super mid nervous breakdown right now, I don't know where to begin. I'm in the USA, have insurance but I don't have a primary care physician? I'm in my early 20s so I just haven't seen one since I needed a pediatrician. It seems like most people get referred to someone through their doctor?
I guess I'm asking where the heck do I even start. How do I go about seeing someone who can help me. Please advise LOL
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OCD
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Hi, so… On Thursday, I had a cholecystectomy. I planned on asking a nurse for an anxiolytic (the last time I had surgery, I was 8, they give me midazolam. It was fine)… The nurse said she couldn't help because the surgery had been scheduled to start sooner… I mentioned that I'd be wearing underpants and would prefer to keep it that way (the “why” will become clearer soon).
I've always struggled with a “little” of anxiety during first times. Especially if I cannot form a precise metal map of the process… My cousin was the Anesthesiologist. Few reasons:
It's his job.
He's the only one I felt I could trust, (He would never let me die. Not even by accident).
He also recommended the surgeon. Now, I'm not sure if the Surgeon (whom's head of surgery. Or one of his interns). So… anyway, he was the stuff ready former. I asked what products he'd be giving.
From memory: clonidine, Toradol, and Magnesium sulfate.
So he began the injection, and the Nurse who was taking care of me during the procedure (very lovely person, I must say) would be putting the mask over my mouth and nose… You know the drill: breath normally (I could not. It had a bad “smell”) I started feeling the side effect my cousin mentioned Toradol (Or whatever) : a “warmth\[sic\]”. Now my whole body was feeling like it was getting heated from the inside, and I was breathing some kind of gasoline fume.
​
I really didn't like it. It was noticeable. It wasn't at all what I expected. I didn't have an anxiolytic…
So naturally, I started panicking, and moved my face away from the mask to breathe real air.
I was freaking out. “Why does it feel like this? Will it stop. Please make it stop”.
The way I reacted was by saying, “Oh my god, please can we stop this? Please, man” Basically begging him to let me go. Which I feel awful about. He was about to calm me, don't, though. And convince me to breath from the mask. He said “resistance is futile” which made me chuckle, then I was waking up in the reanimation room. I know I was high AF, though (ketamine). He asked me, “want to try ketamine?” I said “No”, and he said, “too bad”. I did want to before I did, but we were past that, so I couldn't say “yes”, I digress. It's standard procedure.
I felt fine waking up, but very drowsy, euphoric, my ADHD meds had worn off.
So, obviously, I mean, obviously… I asked for IV cocaine —not because I'm a junkie, but because I know it is/was used to speed up the waking up process.—
I also asked for the nurse… (May have, inadvertently, said he was cute, that was supposed to be just a thought…)
Anyway, then I was woken up. Saw my cousin and thanked him. I'm not sure, he heard it, or if he did he wasn't happy about what I did.
Most people think/say I behave "like a kid". And this may seem like that. But I was scared out of my mind, and it felt genuinely awful to me.
I hope he's not ashamed of me. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have done this surgery.
In the imaging, they saw 3 small gallstones. They were over 100% off on that one.
The surgeon joked, “if it was gold, you'd be rich” pointing at the gallstones in a plastic sample bottle; I asked "Oh, by the way, can I throw those away?" and he said "I can assure you, they're not gold" (which was gold 😌)
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aspergers
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First, set a reminder in your phone to notify you 10 months from now that you need to plan your costume out in advance next year. End of august sounds right for the reminder to go off! That’s enough time to think of an idea, plan it out, and get the materials. You can’t keep waiting until the last minute every year! You have so much amazing costume potential inside of you. You will change your habits the next Halloween because you surely didn’t this year. You’re set on it.
The 10 months go by. It’s the end of summer. The reminder pops up around end of august. “Oh yeah! I’m so proud of myself for setting this reminder! I’m too busy today but I’ll start tomorrow. Thank you, past version of me!” You snooze the reminder to tell you again tomorrow.
Then, and this is essential (!!!), you will go ahead and snoooooze that reminder every day until somehow it’s now the beginning/middle of October. You panic and realize you’re in dangerous territory of doing what you always do. You write a post-it note and stick it on your bedside nightstand. There’s no way you will push it off even further! You so badly want a costume you’re proud of for once. “I *will* achieve this goal! ✨😎❤️”
You’ve pushed it off even further. It’s October twenty-f*****g-seventh. You don’t know how this has happened. The party is in two days. You sigh at yourself, then unhappily settle for a costume that is easy to obtain. You do this every year and are always disappointed. At least you’re consistent? But fortunately you thrive at last minute tasks. You suddenly become inspired! You want to make it your own and make it not look cheesy. You may be a procrastinator, but you’re also very much a perfectionist! This will save you!
The first Halloween store you visit is out of half or more of the essential costume elements. The second Halloween store is permantely closed. Why didn’t you check Google first? The third Halloween store you go to has a line of 60 people out the door. Big nope! You go home and say f*ck it. You will put your costume together with whatever the h*ll you were able to gather and what you have at home.
You go to the party. You are disappointed in your costume but you tried. Thankfully, you are very creative and great at completing last minute tasks so your costume gets a compliment or two! They love how you made it your own. But you’re thinking about the possibility of what the costume could have been. You reluctantly thank the person complimenting you, while in your head you are very much slapping yourself in the face. You could have been a Halloween LEGEND! 😤
You tell yourself you will NOT let yourself do this the next Halloween. It’s gone on *long enough.* You knew it would feel crappy if you did it again this year and it did. This will be motivation for you next year. You’re sure of it.
*smash cut to October 27th of next year*
“…f*ck”
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ADHD
|
So last night during work, I had a mental health crisis and I had a panic attack during work and I had to leave early I just started this job it’s a new one in fact pays OK decent benefits. I see my doctor right after and I feel better on some new meds but I’m afraid what everyone might think I’m a newbie and I’m calling off already what is everyone going to think I’m just worried about my job now
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depression
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The OP here...
https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/pdqrga/is_it_particularly_common_for_adults_with_autism/
The more I've looked into it, the more I think it's a bot.
Awesome technology in a way, but also pretty creepy at the same time.
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aspergers
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I feel like since the birth of internet and especially the growth of social networks,we do senseless things we wouldnt do before
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depression
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What's happening? It's not that there's no distractions because we're still chatting occasionally and people get up and walk around. Libraries full of quiet studying people were never effective in this regard but a common room or dorm room full of joking and varied students working on different things was. I'm in my 30s now and recently starting working in the common spaces when my family members have to work from home and I realized that it was like college when I tried to work.
Why tho? My work, by the way, is illustration/drawing.
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ADHD
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I never thought I had an issue with eye contact, but I was talking to my roommate last night and I realised that I do!!!
I won't look at people if we're having a serious conversation. Occasionally I'll glance at them so they know I'm listening, but especially when I'm talking, I'll look at *anything* but them. If I'm talking to someone, I can control the eye contact?? So I can just start looking somewhere else, but if someone's talking to me it feels like I get trapped in eye contact and I'll just have to look behind them or around occasionally to break it. Sometimes it causes them to either think I'm uninterested or they'll check behind them, thinking I've seen something. I thought it was all normal lmao.
I was explaining this and my roommate was like "oh yeah, if we're having a proper convo, I'll notice your eyes darting all over the room, and if you're talking, you'll be staring at the wall or just talking off into space". Oops.
I just noticed it at office hours with a professor, I was almost never talking while looking at him, and I kept turning almost entirely around to look at his whiteboard when he was talking to me. I think he knows I'm autistic and he didn't seem offended so it's alright but it's something to watch out for.
Anyway, love a good "oh shit, that's the Aspergers" moment.
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aspergers
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Has anyone here taken risperidone before? My new psychiatrist just prescribed it for me to take along with an SSRI and I'm curious about other's experiences with it. Did it help with intrusive thoughts and compulsions? Did you have any side effects?
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OCD
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Maybe this is the first step: being fucking done with depression, being pissed with depression. Fuck you depression, i’m done with you. I want to live a normal life: i want to have friends, go to parties, go to dinners with my family and friends, have a girlfriend i love and live in a cozy appartment, be confident at work. I want to take photos with people and be able to smile with them. I want to be happy being myself.
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depression
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I thought my brother would understand my obsessions and intrusive thoughts in some way, so I told him. Ocd has become such a big part of my life that I also felt the need to let it all out. Well, it didn't go well. I was trying to explain how I sometimes feel like I'm dangerous/immoral and that I've been dealing with this my whole life. He said something like "please don't kill me lol" and that he wouldn't be comfortable around me from now on.
I just feel like shit now. It wasn't even necessary to say all that and make him uncomfortable. Also, his reaction made me feel so bad... like I'm not actually a dangerous person but my ocd is making me think so. I'm sick of no one actually getting it.
Has anyone else had this type of situation? Like someone treating you differently after you told them about your symptoms
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OCD
|
I've had depression for about 13 years now, being 26(M) and getting it around 13. At first it only lasted a day, maybe two at the most. My hobbies, friends and family didn't bring me may happiness and all I could do was lay in bed and wallow in self pity/hatred.
Here I am all these years later, and this depression episode has been going on for at least two weeks, going on three. I got a new job, I broke this off with my abusive ex, started to rebuild my relationship with my parents. Eight months ago I made a huge stride forward and now it feels like I'm falling right back down to the bottom slowly but surely.
I don't want to kill myself, but fuck I don't want to live either.
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depression
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Some fake number is messaging me.. How can I let that not ruin my day?
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depression
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I notice that the autistic YouTuber, no hate btw, are full of cringe. I feel that the Autistic community deserves better knowing why things are and how to coexist with everybody—the reason I hold back on my project because I don't want to get too much backlash. I want to know if that something you would want to watch?
If you like that idea, please suggest the content you want me to speak about. For example, I would like to discuss why being the comedic sidekick is the worst kind of friendship or scoring with the hottest people. Things that are off character for autistic people to talk about.
Edit:Thank you everybody for the feedback. I have a lot to work on.
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aspergers
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Hello there! I’ll make it as short as I can.
I was diagnosed with OCD one month ago after spending so long wondering what was wrong with me. I’ve been seeing a therapist (who really helps me!) since then and I feel like, without these appointments, I’d really really struggle much more than I do now. However here is the thing: I make my compulsions and rituals as discreet as I can when my mother is around. I'm afraid she could think I’m completely crazy and I’m ashamed of being like that and of wasting around 4 hours a day because of OCD. The problem is: she thinks I’m making it up. She thinks my therapy is useless and I’m weak because I can’t get better on my own. She also complains about it being a waste of money.
As many of you know, most of your days are a real pain in the ass because of the amount of time you spend having awful/terrifying intrusive thoughts and feeling the need to perform so many rituals. I sometimes truly feel like I’m falling in an endless hole because of the anxiety it brings...
What would you suggest to make my mother realise I’m in pain and just want to be helped? I truly want to make the situation less heavy and have a ""normal"" life again...Thank you!
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OCD
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I've been dating a wonderful man for 6 months. I know he is serious as he talks of future plans with me. I am serious as well, albeit often insecure and unsure of his feelings. I have a good amount of knowledge and experience with autism, and this is leading me to consider that he may be on the spectrum. I think at some point, it would be important for myself, and of course him, to know whether this is his reality. How and when would I bring this up? Is it even my place?
Here are some ex for context:
-He doesn't have much to say in groups unless talking about a subject he knows well.
-He is very ritualistic; morning and night routine, Sunday dinner, and gets on phone in morning and doesn't address me until prompted or he's finished browsing.
-Cancels plans with friends frequently
-Very blunt, verging on rudeness at times
- Difficulty being gracious; doesn't say 'thank you' when necessary
-Lack of empathy; can't comfort me when upset
- Highly intelligent and proficient in work and hobbies;spends a great deal of free time researching these topics, ie cooking, billiards, electrics
-Needs nudging to complete everyday tasks
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aspergers
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I hope you read this cause i'm desperate for help;
I think i have ocd , in fact the things that have happened me in life have convinced me that i have ; also am suffering from a severe kind of perfectionism that am sure of .
long story short , my current situation is about the drug i have used recently ( finastride ) to treat my probable hair loss and then after 4 full months of using it daily and noticing some good changes in my hair line i suddenly felt this huge libido loss and erectile dysfunction .
My problem started from here that i started to search everywhere to find answers and after lots and lots of internet browsing i came across (pfs ). its a short word for post finastride syndrome that means some people are out there and have used finastride and their lives never came back to normal due to their libido loss , ed and etc.
I got frightened like hell ; in fact i read all about pfs and its effects and in fact saw hundreds and hundreds of people ae suffering from this ( they have a website too : propeciahelp.com)
So after reading about these people and their stories i convinced myself that i must have pfs ! how short the probability was i convinced myself that i'm suffering from this syndrome and need to find a treatment for it .
Right now it has been three whole months that i have dropped the finastride but none of my symptomes came back to normal ; i think i have develepoed some kind of a permanent loss of libido and ed .
The thing is , it is probable though for this to be true , so why all of these people are suffering from my symptoms and say they will never came back to normal?
Right now I have reached a place that i may kill myself due to these side effects and in the other hand i can't help but thinking and thinking .
I really want to come back to normal life :(
thank you so much for reading my post and i'll appreciate if you could help me here.
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OCD
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I'm watching the show and reading the books at the same time and I'm super anxious that one of them is gonna make me forget the other or that I'm gonna get them mixed up when I know I'm not. I have a great grasp and really good memory of both of them, but the thought of me forgetting is ruining the experience. Like I can't enjoy it because the whole time I'm quizzing myself in my head to make sure I remember.
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OCD
|
So my **(22m)** personality is very much centered around rock climbing (I recently transferred schools to be in Colorado for rock climbing). I do have a few smaller interests around the house, but the only time I meet people in my day-to-day life is through rock climbing. I have a much harder time relating with people who don’t rock climb, and without being able to relate to somebody initially, it is hard for me to make a friendship or relationship with them.
**Friend-making example:** If I meet a guy in my class who is friendly, I can clearly see that this could be an opportunity for me to make a friend, but a big part of me does not care about this opportunity because I don’t feel like I relate to the guy. I feel a subconscious part of me that doesn’t believe I can make friends that aren’t super outdoorsy. This a bias within me that influences all of my decision making. The result is that I don’t really have friends that are not super outdoorsy (I basically just limit my options for friends) The friends I have that aren’t super outdoorsy never become super close to me since there’s just such a massive part of me that we don’t relate over. I’m realizing that a neurotypical person is likely able to make friends much easier since they relate to many more people right off the bat.
**Online dating example:** Say I match with a girl that I found cute but didn’t rock climb. Oftentimes I will not message her because I don’t know how I relate to her. I don’t know what on earth to talk to this girl about, let alone see how to start this relationship since I wouldn’t know what to do with her. Instead, I just dated a girl that was super into climbing so we related quite easily. Since I’m now single again, I am debating which path to go down.
**Some Dating Questions:** Would you be turned off by someone you just met if they had a clear obsessive hobby? What about if you were a bit interested in the hobby? What if you met someone you liked and didn’t realize they had an obsessive hobby, would you still be into them once you figured that out?
**Some Logic Questions:** Does the way I’m thinking make sense to you? Is it okay for me to live like this or should I focus on restructuring how my brain thinks? If I were to want to make non-climbing friends or date a non-climber, how would I go about even doing this?
**In Conclusion:** A lot of these questions and examples are applicable to both friends and dating. I like hanging out with people I can relate with but feel like I’m limiting my options. How do I expand my options since I don’t feel like I relate to these people? Does anyone have any other advice?
|
aspergers
|
We're all just victims creating other victims
We all have conflicting goals that collide with eachother and cause conflict
95% of us wont fully understand eachother
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depression
|
I know that I'm a sexual sadist, and I've accepted that it's not intrusive thoughts. Ever since I was a young child, I've had violent fantasies and enjoyed seeing movie characters in pain. It was hard to accept at first, but the guilt went away once I was told how common these fantasies are and that they don't make me a bad person. Recently (probably due to obsessions regarding the morality of other sexual thoughts), I've started to doubt that it's actually okay. I've only ever had these fantasies about fictional characters, and have NEVER had the urge to do something to a real person, especially without consent. But I have them a lot, and they're usually very violent and disturbing. Most are about a character being severely tortured and then comforted, and I'm aroused by that. It just seems so messed up to enjoy these things, even if it's entirely fictional. Unlike my POCD obsession, the sadistic thoughts don't go away, and I enjoy them.
I've seen people on the internet ranging from calling it a perfectly fine fetish, to people calling it psychotic and disturbing. I recently saw people here talking about the guro subreddit and how disturbing it was. Most of that stuff is pretty extreme, even by my standards, but it kind of triggered my worrying about all of this. Everyone was saying that people with those fetishes should be put on a watch list, avoided, and labeled a demented psychopath.
The fact that I'm aroused by sadism but also obsessing about being a bad person because of it, is giving me proof that the POCD and ZOCD I have is also just extreme guilt, and not ocd. When I obsess over being a sexually sadistic bad person, I go through the same compulsions that I do with other obsessions, and it feels very similar. What are your opinions on this and it's connection to OCD (if any), and how bad is it to be a sexual sadist on the more extreme side?
|
OCD
|
I really started getting my life back together the other day and I had a really good two days and now my OCD has come back full force to try and stop me I've had a really couple of anxious days where OCD keeps moving the goalposts throwing me random curve balls like oh do you remember this thing you might have done. Man OCD has some hands but I've let it walk over me for to long and I'm not stopping now.
|
OCD
|
I’ve always felt my OCD takes a different shape then most people and I wanted to see if anyone relates to this. I constantly imagine random bullshit. Sometimes before something happens, sometimes when something is happening, or even just sitting down doing nothing. It never makes sense, The situations I’m imagining myself in either already happened, haven’t happened yet, or never will happen. Does anyone else get this? Thanks.
|
OCD
|
I went out to dinner with my mom, little sister, aunt and cousin tonight. It was so loud, there were people everywhere and everything felt like it was on THAT day and I started bouncing and rocking and tapping and constantly looking over my shoulder. My aunt had to give me the keys to go to the car because I couldn't eat anymore and just had to escape. I had a panic attack in the car but managed to compose myself a bit when my family finally got to the car. I feel so stupid. I know I wasn't in danger but the danger felt so real. I've been under a lot of stress the last several weeks and physically ill so I haven't been able to keep any of my meds down. I've lost 20 pounds from being sick and I'm feeling the effects of not taking meds. I know everyone says I should cut myself slack but I feel so worthless for not being able to even spend time with my family without totally freaking out. I hate it. Sorry for the thought dump idk where else to put this.
|
ptsd
|
I have been diagnosed bipolar I several times since I was a teenager (about 15 years) but after reading a ton about ADHD and having people close to me with similar issues get diagnosed, I'm beginning to wonder if I need to take a proper assessment for ADHD. My biggest tip off that there could be something else wrong, besides my inability to regulate my emotions, is the painful under-stimulation/boredom. Has anyone else been diagnosed one and then the other, or shared similar concerns? I'd love to hear your story.
|
ADHD
|
I’m not sure if this is just me or not, but I feel like arranging things in relation to other things instead of creating an hourly schedule is so much less stressful. That and having flex time when possible to move chores/schoolwork around to different “slots.”
An example might be, instead of saying “I’ll do homework from 10-12,” I say “I’ll start my (insert class) homework after my class ends and work on it till I need to leave for my next class. If I finish that, then I’ll start on one of my other assignments.”
Another example might be “I’ll brush my teeth and wash my face before breakfast” or “I’ll meditate before bed.”
I do put rough times on certain big events, like getting up, going to bed, classes, etc, and I can plan other events relationally around those.
|
ADHD
|
I have had OCD for tidying, and obsessive thoughts for a long time. It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't get it so it's nice to be here and hear from similar stories.
Have a good day!
|
OCD
|
From childhood, I have had issues with forgetting things, getting lost, binge eating (not as much as a child). I wasnt doing bad academically because I studies ALOT.
But during uni, those things increased significantly, peaking in the last 3 months. I binged ALOT, I had no motivation to study, which caused me stress and depression because I am sort of an overachiever. I saw therapists, saw many doctors. the counsellors said to see a psychiatrist, but the GPs said I'm depressed and have anorexia. The doctors prescribed me phentermine which worked for my bingeing temporarily. but no change in focus so i stopped taking it.
As my exams are approaching, and I want to do well, I decided to take matters into my hands temporarily. So I took non prescribed dexamphetamines. And OH MY GOD. My life took a total 180. I went from bingeing and missing classes and assignments, to studying. My interest in my course came back. I stopped bingeing and ate healthy. That little monster in my head that just makes me eat and eat and eat without control disappeared. I eat healthy now and feel great. I still procrastinate, but it is moderate.
But when i took a few days break, I went back. I assumed 1 would get a few days withdrawal, but its not a withdrawal. Its just me, back to who I was when I was seeing doctors. It is depressing. I am bingeing again. watching Netflix when i shouldn't. Maybe I am dependent?
Anyways now, I'm thinking. Maybe I do have ADHD? It makes sense. I always lost my things. Control is lacking. Focus is none. So I plan to see a psychiatrist after the exam in Western Australia. I do want to tell them my experience on the medication. But do you think they will report it to the police?
If I do get a diagnosis? Would I have to be on it forever? Truthfully I only plan to be on it for this crucial 3 months of my life as I will be taking a couple of exams that will determine my future. and then the next 9 months will be chill. So maybe I could work on dealing with it without medicine.
​
TLDR: will doctors report me for taking un-prescribed stimulants?
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been told by ppl that me having ADHD and sensory issues means I’m autistic, but I don’t fit any other non ADHD symptoms. My diagnosis so far are- Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, C-PTSD (dissociative subset), Gender Dysphoria, and ADHD (most recent). I know ADHD can cause it’s own sensory issues when it comes to overstimulation but when I’m not overstimulated they still bother me. Like food taste/texture and then auditory with certain sounds. Additionally i have issues with texture of like objects. It was also less severe as a kid (other than food taste/texture and then sounds). Ptsd can also cause it’s own sensory issues bc it puts the body in a fight or flight mode. I think it’s important to note my mom, brother, and I all have ADHD and sensory issues so whatever it is is genetic. My psychiatrist also never mentioned anything about autism during our assessment for ADHD and he specializes in testing for those and other disorders. Does anyone else have ADHD and sensory issues and know they don’t have autism? How do I even research if I have autism? I understand stuff better based on examples rather than just listing symptoms and most autism diagnostic criteria you find online is just symptoms. And then ofc I’m wondering what causes my sensory issues? Sensory processing disorder isn’t recognized as its own diagnosis bc it’s seen as a symptom of a disorder so I can’t really say it’s that.
|
ADHD
|
I have fucked up so many times that I've literally no friends left. I keep giving and giving and understanding and forgiving people thinking that maybe it's because I have OCD, I overthink until I can't anymore. I have to stand my ground. And I get blamed for it. Idk if it's my bad luck or overthinking due to OCD or I haven't met a great person yet. But I'm so tired and so lonely that I have formed imaginary friends for myself. I have Maladaptive daydreaming as well.
|
OCD
|
Started out the year with a plan of getting a house. First week into this year my now ex wife decides she wants to open our marriage and doesn’t want to continue being monogamous, I tell her I can’t do that and move out back to my parents. Ended up getting a divorce half way through the year. Lost my cats, my school debt is starting to pile up, and I find less reasons to keep going all the time. My hobbies don’t interest me as much as they used too, and I find myself getting really upset at any setbacks anymore.
The one thing I’m really looking forward to is the new year, because I just want a fresh start and to put all this garbage behind me. How do I keep my focus on what the future could be, when the now is horrible?
|
depression
|
I know I can’t be the only one that looks back on themselves after a long period of time and go “woah, how did I get here?” I usually stop taking my meds and doing therapy when I think I’m “kinda” out of the hole. But not all the way. There’s so many things I don’t do to take care of myself or be responsible. Only when I hit the more serious symptoms do I realize: “oh no, I got that compression.” (That’s what me and the fellas call depression). Regardless I’m talking about that lack of energy, trouble sleeping, muscle “tightness” inbetween the shoulder blades, basically nothing feeling super fun or satisfying. You know the vibe.
Not entirely sure why I talked about it, I’ll clarify anything in comments. (Also I never have been nor do I think I ever will be suicidal so don’t worry about asking me stuff).
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depression
|
Leader at bipolar support group: *talks about mindfulness and saying goodbye to people when you leave*
Me: "I get that. Actually when I was young I was always terrified that if I didn't say "goodbye" and "I love you" with intention every time then the person would die before I saw them next hahaha"
Group: "......."
Me later: "Let's look at this OCD reddit bc learning about other mental illnesses is fun and I like understanding other people's perspectives!"
Y'all: "obsessive intrusive thoughts is a form of OCD"
Me: "......"
Me: "AAAAND ON TO ANOTHER SUB!!"
(Sorry if this doesn't belong. I'm a lurker and just thought this was a sorta funny moment. I'm sure my situation is probably bipolar or brain injury related but my ability to go into denial about issues and swerve to another topic is kinda amusing (to me at least) lol)
|
OCD
|
I’m a dad of 2 kids, I have a partner who suffers from depression, I have a job that just gets us by, and I have so much responsibility on my shoulders. Sometimes I feel like I can’t feel unhappy or anything like that because I’m the main support system, I always try to keep my partner as happy as she can be, I try to provide for them all and try to raise my kids right and give them everything I wish I had when I was a child. But lately I just feel absolutely burnt out, and I have to keep going because if I stop everything will fall apart. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything but more just somewhere to get the feelings out since I haven’t really got anywhere else to vent about it. And if there’s anyone in a similar situation I know how lonely it can feel, but just know that you’re not alone.
|
depression
|
Hey I just found this subreddit, and today was a normal day, just had an attack and picked up cigarettes again after quitting for like 2 1/2 weeks, I just can't stop being self destructive like that, and I'm just so tired of the battle in my mind, can't even have the energy or the willpower to do my breathing exercises and other coping mechanisms. I guess I just wanted to get it all out there, without bringing it up to my family cause I lean on my mom too much and I feel so guilty that she has to worry about me.
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ptsd
|
What if what I did was so bad I don't deserve to ever be ok? I didn't understand at the time, but the content I looked at was still so bad. Why did I do that? Should I be held accountable? I was a young teenager, I didn't understand. I feel so guilty.
|
OCD
|
despite having the facts laid out in front of me i still feel like i am exaggerating what happened.
i tell therapists about it, and even though i am being truthful, it feels like i am lying.
it feels like i am telling the most dramatic version of my story, which could likely be true as my memories from when i was young are very hazy, but i cannot bear the thought that i am doing all of this for attention.
|
ptsd
|
Just as the title says. I am looking for advice on how to be a better spouse to my Aspie husband. He struggles with volume control, following instructions, managing priorities, spacial awareness, and social cues. I find myself needing to “find the right combination” of words to describe/explain the same thing 30 different ways before he understands what I’m saying to him. Tips for better communication would be helpful.
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aspergers
|
so i'm scared of getting laughed of and rejection. i really like socializing, but i feel like a burden and that i'm not enough for others. like they are cool, funny and better after all. i feel worse than others, so i'm scared of approaching them, cause i don't want to be desperate. i'm pretty. but turns out it's not enough anymore, even if i look amazing:((
|
OCD
|
I have a habit of messing around with whatever I have in my hands when I’m talking to other people or if I’m just sitting in class trying to pay attention what the teacher is saying but most of the time I end up becoming a very annoying distraction to others and since I’m a huge introvert I absolutely hate it when I get called out by my teacher for being loud and it’s just very uncomfortable when I become the center of attention and everyone is looking at me. So I was wondering if there were thing I could do to avoid this from happening without forcing my self to stop fidgeting because I when I try to do that I completely lose track of what I was doing and potentially miss out on some very important piece of information my teacher just pointed out.
This is kind of the first post I’ve ever made on Reddit so sorry for any mistakes I made and sorry for the terrible way I wrote this, I couldn’t really come up with a better way to explain this and kind of just dumped out what I was thinking. Please let me know about what you think and thanks for reading this mess. :)
|
ADHD
|
I'm sure you guys can relate to this, but I run into the problem of being "instantly disliked" quite often, even though I haven't done anything wrong. I know that I'm weird and awkward, so I try hard to appear friendly and positive so people will hopefully look past that, at least superficially. But there are still plenty of times where even strangers will turn their nose up to me. I've had instances where I was buying ice cream, or shopping at a store, and the clerk was friendly to everyone else but when I came up to them their demeanor completely changed; they showed open contempt towards me.
In my language class, we have to partner up with people to basically practice the whole lesson together, and one girl that I was working with for a few days, at one point, randomly turned away from me halfway through a lesson and tried to work with someone else. Mind you, NOBODY in the class does this, we stick with the same person all the time. I couldn't believe how she just completely left me partner-less in the middle of a lesson, to try to work with a person who already had a partner. Our prof motioned her back over to me and she tried to be super friendly about it.
After that, I thought "well fuck that, I don't want to work with someone who shows disdain towards me" so I planned on doing her a favor and just trying to find a new partner or group. But the next day when I went to class, I walked in and saw her head quickly flash towards me out of the corner of my eye, like aggressively, though I was already sitting down at the other side of the classroom, away from her. I could tell she did NOT want me near her, working with her, and her bad attitude angered me.
This happens in whatever environment I'm in. Whatever job I'm working at, there will be people who show open contempt towards me, won't even try to hide it, or others look intimidated and stressed out when talking to me. I try hard to come off as friendly and polite, I'm always smiling and using a higher tone of voice, try to add emotion to it, etc. but I think people are still turned off by my "uncanny valley" effect lol
\*\*\*EDIT: Just want to thank everyone who got involved with this post and have shared their experiences and thoughts! :)
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aspergers
|
I've seen so many posts on this sub and stories in general of doctors not providing medication that had been used for years just fine by the person with ADHD. I've seen posts about doctors saying "you dont have ADHD cause you can focus/are smart/etc." I've seen posts that are just how professionals shove their opinions in about ADHD despite it being something people (including myself) have to deal with, or treat, daily. So I just have to ask, why is it like this?
Why does it seem like professionals aren't even sure on what ADHD actually is? I'm actually curious, and would love to hear your guy's thoughts/facts on the issue.
|
ADHD
|
**tl;dr:** Spoke with a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type of therapist who's anti-diagnosis and anti-medication. I'm asking if anyone has had success with such therapy styles or if I should write it off and look for someone else.
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I've been having a hard time finding a therapist, so I was pretty excited when I found this one who both took my insurance and had new patient availability. After talking with him today I'm no longer so excited. He's a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type and wouldn't do any sort of assessment to diagnose and is completely anti-medication. He basically said that my focus issues are a learned trait from my childhood and I can learn to get past it (It all felt very Freudian). He repeatedly said that my focus issues are from not wanting to do the task, even when I tried to explain that I can't focus on things I find actually interesting and want to learn about. Trying to read about a topic I genuinely want to know about, getting 2 pages in and being unable to focus enough to absorb the page I just read because my mind started daydreaming doesn't feel like "I just don't want to do it" and it doesn't seem like something I can just force myself to do.
If I couldn't force myself to do things I didn't want to, I'd never have gotten through college and grad school and I wouldn't be surviving (if barely) at my job.
I asked him what his method would be for treating me and he didn't have a solid answer beyond continuing to talk and try to find the root of my focus issues. But I feel like finding the mental root of the issue isn't going to help me focus better, but just explain my deficiencies.
Right now I'm leaning towards looking for someone else, but I wanted to ask here if anyone has had success with therapists like this before I completely write it off.
|
ADHD
|
I wish my family understood that we don’t process things the same. Them being overwhelmed and me being overstimulated is not the same thing. Like everytime we go to a store, after we get out I’m always irritated. They get mad at me for it, but I just want to scream “ITS BECAUSE IM AUTISTIC AND YOU WONT SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS.” It’s absolutely exhausting. They don’t understand any of my symptoms. Any advice on how to deal with this?
|
aspergers
|
I don't know if it's a cry for help but I am on the verge of killing myself
|
depression
|
I don't mean things which are common knowledge among aspies, like how we're not good at picking up nonverbal cues.
|
aspergers
|
I have no idea what else to call it, but I very often find myself keeping a relationship/friendship going even though I don't gain much from it anymore. I recently saw a series where the same thing happened over and over (aspies went on first dates, things didn't work out, and then they remained seeing eachother as friends, though I think NT's would not see eachother again after that)
It this an aspergers thing? Like, I have some friends that are sometimes mean, gossip, or really seem to not want to hang out, and I still can't get myself to cut them off.
|
aspergers
|
Basically i have these 2 female friends that im really close with but i dont have feelings for them but i keep ruining our relationship by being needy and cosntanltly needing attention, and when they talk about other boys i get extremely jealous and angry and basically say they are the reason im always insecure and have no confidence but after like 15 minutes i cool down and it doesnt bother me anymore. Is this something i can have from being asperger or is it something else and if so where should i head it with this .
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aspergers
|
So this will be a long one and I appreciate anyone who reads and responds. I have been dating a man for nearly a year now. I have never been happier. Right before we met I split from an abusive husband with an 11 month old. As soon as we met, he made everything easier, lighter, better. I felt as though I had found my person. A few short months later, we found out we were expecting, which was devastating because he had had a vasectomy years ago and I wasn’t wanting any more children. Regardless, I decided to keep it. I felt like In a lot of ways it was a miracle. This child will be his fourth, my second. All of his other children are grown. He has PTSD from combat. While I’ve dealt with a large range of mental illnesses, this is not one I’m familiar with. When we met he was in a really low place, abusing klonopin and Ambien. He got off all of his meds a few months in, saying that his doctor would no longer see him because he owed him money. I accepted this, he seemed fine. So over the past four months his PTSD and anxiety has been creeping back in. He’s also been suffering with a couple other health issues. He just got prescribed the klonopin and Ambien again and asked me to hold onto it so I felt more comfortable with the dosing. He hasn’t really needed his Ambien. Every time he needed his klonopin, I was hesitant but willing and it was causing us to fight. He said I was making him feel bad about needing them, so I gave them back to him. Well over the past couple days he’s had it rough, he injured himself with a chop saw and things started to spiral. We were not communicating well and then yesterday, he broke up with me. Told me he wanted to save me and the kids from him and that he didn’t love me anymore and to move on. Needless to say, I did not see it coming and am truly devastated. I took him to behavioral health this morning because last night he had an episode, became very destructive and flushed all of his meds. I have never had anything but his well being in mind. But he told me that he couldn’t trust me anymore because when I needed him, like dispensing his meds, I made him feel crazy and diminished and there’s no going back from there. I am devastated. I don’t know what I’m asking but any advice would be appreciated. He thinks I don’t try to understand or want to be what he needs. I think he currently needs help bigger than me. But right now I need help too. I hope this all makes sense. Thank you for reading.
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ptsd
|
I just finished my first year of college and I'm so desperate for a summer job. I only lasted a day at a chemical plant because of the smells and the noises. I just couldn't handle it and I immediately started crying after my first day. The only opportunities that seem to be attainable are either call centres or loud and dirty industrial settings. I've been applying to jobs for weeks and weeks and nothing has come up that I know won't make me melt down.
I've applied to every grocery store around here but I can't get anything. Given that and the fact that most of these jobs likely have 100+ applicants, I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. All I do is lay in bed all day thinking about how useless and weak and lazy and stupid I am for not being able to handle things that everyone else can. I just needed to get that off my chest.
|
aspergers
|
Ok not really. I do like the times when I'm happy again. But right now everytime I feel any sort of emotion it feels overwhelming.
I used to think I got lucky when it came to triggers, because it didn't seem like I had more than 1-2. Nope, I was just numb. I'm in therapy and this is something we're going to work on... I just needed to vent a bit
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Where you just shut off your emotions for a couple of years and then they turned back on?
|
ptsd
|
My OCD is digging into my past and going through every time I’ve been attracted to someone and making me doubt it heavily. It’s making me genuinely believe I’ve never been truly attracted to anyone.
|
OCD
|
I seem too believe everything i hear and see in the external world! It could be anything somebody talks about and anything i see in social media or real life! Its hard to explain this..
I cant shake something i have seen and it usally is something i dont desire!
This are some Wierd exemples on diffrent themes of obssessions:
• I learned about law of attraction 1,5 y ago and i learned that nobody is real and people are just a projektion of me and i can control my world! I had this Obession before and now its back! And sometimes i can see ”proof” of thisn when i think about something i see it later! So i feel like i have proof and i dont like that, i want life and the people in it to be REAL!
• When i learned about astrolgy and birth charts and did my birth chart and learned about my chart! I did not like my rising sign (talks about how people with this rising sign look like) and ever since i have been not stop thinking about a certain celeberty with the same rising and i dont like her apparance, but my mind Tells me i look like her, and here comes the wierd thing! I only look like her on my right side! And when i look at my self in the mirror i can see that that is true!
• my parents are pretty strict, and they are from Middle East! They are not crazy but sometimes! So i use to watch videos online about cases where parents from the middle east kill their kids when they disrecpet them! Honor killings! Ofc my mind cant shake that tought and images of those videos! Just bc my parents are strict and can be angry dosnet mean they are doing something crazy like honor killings just because they are from middle east! My siblings have always been chill and always Done What they wanted (rebell) when my parents said No! They can have bf and go out and sneak out! They can function normally and dont seem botherd by out parents! While i have never rebelled and i have been isolating my self and just watched my siblings have fun and be carless and free and dont care!
I have more stupid things i latch on too! Plz help! I dont wanna live!
|
OCD
|
I’ve had Pocd for the last 2 weeks and it sucks. I’m a 16 yo guy and am constantly researching paedophilia to get some sort of confirmation that I am not a monster. I know that I am attracted to women if my own age and older. But I also fear that I could be attracted to younger girls. I read that there is such thing as non exclusive pedophiles and I’m terrified that I might be one of those. My main fears come from a wet dream I had a couple of months back in which a girl who looked around 11/12 was twerking and I woke up and realised that I had a wet dream. I have had many wet dreams before this involving older women so I’m not too worried about not being attracted to older women. But the fact that i had this dream makes me think I might be a non exclusive pedo. I feel really shitty about this lately and I just wanted to hear some thoughts on this.
|
OCD
|
I want to share an analogy that I made for magical thinking OCD in case it can help anyone else. Basically imagine that you're in a court room and one of the witnesses is called up to the stand. When the witness is called, the judge asks them why they think the suspect is guilty of murder and they say "they're guilty because they ate a banana on the same day that the person was murdered." This analogy is def specific to my ocd fear of things happening on the same day but I think it can generalize to the fact that OCD causes us to make connections that stem from no logic or rationality. When I feel tempted to sulk and give into my OCD, I try to remind myself that that would be like being a judge listening to the guy with the banana argument. He doesn't deserve my time or energy. Obviously this is easier said than done and there are quite a few times when I do listen to him. Let me know if this resinates with anyone.
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OCD
|
The best advice I ever received was a version of 'be yourself' so I'm going to re-state that simple and pretty banal truism, as there seems to be a lot of folks that struggle with relationship issues here and I'm sure we all sympathise. It sounds obvious, but it can never be re-stated enough due to the social pressure surrounding neurodivergent issues.
Straight up, the most important thing you can ever do is:
***Be upfront about your neurodivergence.***
Before your first date, tell them you are neurodivergent and what it looks like. Don't say 'IM AUTISTIC' as that is a useless term that triggers prejudice and needs to be thrown in the bin.
Say something like 'I struggle in social situations sometimes, I can get stressed and not make eye contact, or I flick a rubber band on my left hand, or I just talk really fast about things and don't manage the flow of conversation well. It's just something my brain does and I wanted to let you know in advance.' Tell people about ***your experiences*** up front, don't just use terms like autism and adhd that carry masses of unwanted baggage. Sure, if other people need to use them once you have discussed your experience that's fine, but keep the focus on the reality of what it is you live, not generalised notions.
If they don't respond to you any more, or respond negatively, phew! That's a red flag raised and bullet dodged. Move on, knowing you didn't waste your time on a harmful person.
If they respond positively, then awesome! You're hopefully dealing with someone with the capacity to understand neurodivergence and work with you to see if you can build a successful relationship.
This isn't just about going on dates though. In long term relationships, being continually honest about your ND is essential to keep things moving in the right direction. When things are good, celebrate the positive impacts it has. When things are rough, let it be a way to find the best solution rather than people falling into guilt and anger.
Neurodivergence is part of who you *are*. And pretty much all of us are taught that it's something bad and shameful, or only to be appreciated in specific artificial ways. This is toxic for us and those close to us.
While it's definitely hard to be honest in the face of that, once you start doing it you rapidly separate the quality people from those you don't want in your life. It accelerates the process of finding good support networks and ultimately living the best life you can.
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aspergers
|
Any other people with ocd with shitty teenage years? i’ve been dealing with so many obsessive thoughts and now all i do is wake up not go to school and lay down waiting for each day to pass by while i do nothing. it’s all because of this fucking schizo obsession, it’s ruined my life and i feel like i’m going through the prodromal phase, i’m just so done with it all, i’ve dealt with this theme forever and it won’t go away, i just want to live a life where i don’t have to worry every day.
|
OCD
|
Hey guys. I started Luvox a week ago to treat my Pure O, depression and anxiety. I’m currently only at 25mg and going to increase to 50mg in a bit once I’m ready. The first few days the side effects were really bad (nausea, stomach problems). I’m still really drowsy/lethargic, but On top of this I have noticed my anxiety has increased. Which sucks because this medicine is supposed to help my anxiety. I know when starting some meds you may have increased anxiety, I just don’t know if this is normal for this medicine. Please let me know if you have any experience with this because the anxiety is really getting to me.
|
OCD
|
All my life I’ve had social anxiety but around october I’ve been trying to improve my
self confidence, working on my hygiene and fashion. I started getting myself out there and making tons of friends and I have been very ambitous about my track and field goals as im a university student. Before october I had constant thoughts of suicide and would smoke and drink myself to sleep close to every night along with having anxiety attack every other week . Although my Confidence when talking to others has shot up drastically and I can finally look my self in the mirror without being disgusted, Life has been really stressful balancing a social life for the first time ever along with school and track. And today I had a terrible race and when i got home had a crazy anxiety attack for the first time in months. i was thinking about how I let everyone down and embaressed myself. I fell in to my depressive thoughts and weirdly enough it comforted me. It felt like a hug from a old time friend and like I was faking my personality recently acting confident and happy. I felt comforted by my depression like this is how I really am and I should just cut everyone off and be alone again with my thoughts. Im sorry if this sounds really fake im really bad at english. And im sorry if this doesnt sound as serious as other people on this sub but I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this type of comfort from depression and if it would be healthy to use it as a coping mechanisim.
|
depression
|
Anyone else have this issue ? It seems to be a constant struggle for me.
I’ll get a job , enjoy it, work it, and then get frustrated that I’m expected to be at a place or expected to do certain tasks.
I get bored easily and want another job to try to fix it, but I just end up job hopping.
I’ve had 3 jobs this year alone and I just got a great position as a manager at a salon but I’m starting to grow to resent it because I got into a fight with a coworker and now want to leave and start over.
Anyone else job hop? Is it an adhd thing ? Or am I just insufferable
|
ADHD
|
I just put on clean underwear for the first time in months. And let me tell you, how damn proud I was for finally doing some laundry.
Before you say, "Ew, TMI," listen to what I've got to say.
For most of quarantine, especially early 2021, I was doing terribly. I'm sure a lot of you understand, considering we are all in similar predicaments, since this is r/ADHD. I stopped doing laundry, stayed in my home office in the basement all day, and started failing my classes. Not a good feeling. It took months to build up the motivation (particularly my mom continuously berating me because my room and I both smell but this isn't a rant so I'll save that for a later post) to actually do something good for myself. I felt terrible. I put in a load of laundry, and went down to my office the next day in clean clothes. Well, mostly. I kept doing everything but my undergarments. And that did not make it any easier to not feel super self conscious about myself. Yesterday, I took some initiative and just collected all of the underwear I had left that I 1) knew the location of and 2) knew was salvageable (gross, I know), and just tossed it into the washing machine. I took a shower, went straight downstairs, grabbed a pair out of the dryer, and my brain exploded. The most amazing feeling.
I know it's hard to find the motivation to do this kind of thing. Trust me, I live this life just like you. We all understand. But this accomplishment was probably one of the stupidest things I have ever celebrated, but did I still celebrate? Hell, yeah, I did! Because I know it's hard, but I finally did it, and that's what counts! When you learn how good it feels to accomplish something even so small and honestly a bit weird, it's going to help.
So, go ahead. One step at a time. Pick up that shirt off of the floor. Throw those cans away. Dust the shelves. Just 10-15 minutes a day can make so much difference, especially for us. Think of anything, anything at all, and all it takes is one tiny step. That is how our brains create motivation. And I promise you it will get easier. It just takes time.
Take care, all you beautiful ADHD brains! Love and hugs from one of you, xoxo
|
ADHD
|
I was very active when it came to talking to people. Most of my close friends are online and they care for me a lot despite living in different countries. A couple months ago I started believing they all secretly hated me and felt embarrassed by me. I would get off calls and just sob for hours over things I could have said differently to make them like me again. I took a break from speaking to them besides one person. This one person ended up ruining me. I can’t talk to anyone besides my closest friends and even then i still freak out after talking to them. I think my constant apologizing and break downs is making them annoyed. They reassure me and say i can talk to them about anything i want if i need it. I can’t help but believe they hate me secretly still.
|
OCD
|
I’ve noticed since the pandemic not only did my OCD get worse, my memory did too. Then today I realized I think the reason why is because I’m so focused on the intrusive thoughts and compulsions so I can’t focus on what’s actually important.
|
OCD
|
I deal with pocd and groinal responses which is horrific…
|
OCD
|
Where does doing exposure activities negate valid fears that people with cptsd would have?
For example, one of the second themes I had was fearing becoming a serial killer/psychopath. I avoided my pet rabbit because I was afraid to hurt him. I love horror movies but I couldn’t watch them anymore (I still struggle with this) because I was afraid me viewing them would infect my brain and cause me to turn into that. During the same time I also started fearing becoming a pedophile. I had a dream of a younger family member and it terrified me. I couldn’t masturbate for two months because of how distressing the thoughts were. When I did start masturbating again I felt more comfortable doing it with someone else. I didn’t feel safe enough doing it by myself. I avoided everything to do with children. Anything that reminded me of childhood.
But I was sexually abused by family members when I was younger. I’ve been around monsters most of my life so isn’t the fears I have of turning into one valid?
How do you do exposure therapy when someone has cptsd?
|
OCD
|
There have been many times in my life when I have wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up. I'd then think about the future of other people if that happened.
My family and friends would be sad, but they would eventually get over it. Then I'd start to imagine my bear. I'd imagine that nobody would spend time with him anymore and he'd be deprived of hugs and kisses. Nobody would buy him new clothes and play with him. I was scared my parents and siblings would just let him collect dust for the rest of his life.
He's my best friend and I've had him since I was about 9. And I'm genuinely terrified to leave him alone.
|
depression
|
It's from 4chan, but just bear with me: [https://imgur.com/a/AWd9jJJ](https://imgur.com/a/AWd9jJJ)
I am exactly the kind of socially outcasted loser described in the post - I am a 22 years old guy, senior in college. I have Aspergers, and as a result, I have absolutely zero friends and no social life. I just have no idea how to make friends.
People seem to instantly dislike me. On the rare occasions when I manage to strike up a conversation with someone, they seem to be uncomfortable, looking away, don't respond enthusiastically. I try to be as normal as possible, like I follow basic social interaction tips like smiling and eye contact, but nobody ever seems interested in developing a deeper relationship with me. We never progress from "people in a conversation" to "friends". Even people I see and interact with regularly are never interested in friendship with me.
I don't know why I come across as so unfavorable to other people. My therapists say I seem normal. Every day that I have to be alone, but see other people effortlessly hanging out with friends, I die inside.
So you can see why this 4chan post resonates with me. I've tried so hard to integrate into society, but I'm still an outcast. I am a complete loser. I'm terrified of being alone for the rest of my life.
I have been trying for *years* to improve myself, seem normal, and make friends. I've seen several therapists, read blogs/videos/books about social interaction, etc, nothing. So I'm beginning to agree with this post, because at this point fitting into society just seems impossible for me.
​
EDIT: As many have pointed out, NTs don't always have an effortlessly perfect life as the post implies. I'm referring more to the futility, for certain people, of improving up to a certain normal standard. That some who are "socially outcasted genetic dead ends" are condemned to be like that forever, and just cannot improve past a certain point because they are fundamentally broken.
|
aspergers
|
I've had a bad past with people knowing where I live. When I was 14 I guess I had a stalker from my school who found out where I lived and used to randomly come to my house and with friends. It used to creep me out. After I left school he stopped coming to mine thankfully.
A few months after I left my best friend of 14 years stayed the night. That night he stole a large amount of money from my mum. We never got it back.
I'm scared shitless of people even knowing where I live but I'm going to try my hardest. I've invited 4 of my good friends over to mine to play D&D for the first time. I doubt they will ever turn up uninvited and steal from me but the worry is there.
|
ptsd
|
I have ocd and bad pocd at the moment. I used to look at nsfw blogs on Tumblr months back for a while and I ended up on one nsfw blog that had nsfw anime videos and gifs. I ended up finding out this was called hentai! I googled it because I was worried it was wrong and found out some people say it's illegal. Ive been torn up ever since and it started me having POCD. I'm terrified what I did by viewing that blog in my browsing tumblr and playing the videos of anime nsfw out of curiousty makes me a criminal.
I am so scared I'm as bad as a criminal for seeing the anime. The reason I'm scared is because I don't know the ages these characters were. It was cartoons and anime. I'm disgusted and so scared. I want to turn myself in but I don't know if id get taken serious.
I feel like I'm hiding a dark dirty secret as bad as murder and if everyone somehow found out. They'd all hate and leave me. I already hate myself for it.
|
OCD
|
I used to love reading books. Mostly fantasy or horror. But lately when reading my favorite series’s I start obsessing. It’s like the pain of boring reality after reading a good book mixed in with an existential crisis. I think about little things I agreed with and disagreed with mixed with thoughts I can’t even it into words their so confusing. The progression of the characters makes me think about the passing of time which reminds me of change and all my change had never been good. And the leaving behind of things we hold dear. Feelings like that except I can’t describe them. And I can’t read another book because then I’ll obsess over that too.
|
OCD
|
MY BRAIN DOESN'T FUCKING STOP
I don't think I've ever had a clear head in my whole damn time on this earth. I used to never care because I was a kid but now that I'm an adult my ADHD is insane!
What's this? What's that? What am I gonna do? Where should we go? Why? Where are we going? How is this made? How does that work? Why? How would this work out? What are my friends doing? Why? What did my supervisor say? How do I repair this? Why?
I feel like my brain is a fucking trash compactor. Got some empty space?? Nah, let's fill it with ABSOLUTE USELESS TRASH to keep you occupied!!
This isn't really a "help me" but I thought it would be funny to express this cause... Fuck me, this is exhausting being ON all the time.
|
ADHD
|
This relates to diagnosis, I was 46. Growing up, I hid it- but I didn’t know what it was.
Just thinking about that and how we all have PTSD.
|
aspergers
|
Hi guys,
First post and throwaway account. I write books in a really specific niche for a living. I’m afraid I’ve plagiarized. I mean, I think my rational brain knows I didn’t, but it really, really feels like I did.
First I should say I’ve found phrases and bits of language that I’ve used in my books appear later, in other peoples’ books, and never thought anything of it. These phrases are usually basic and simple, and appear in scores of books I’ve read. But I am so distraught over a few phrases that I’m afraid I’ve unintentionally lifted from other books. I’ve spent the past two days scouring every ebook I have on my phone to look for similarities between my books and other books, and to compare books by other authors. There are some phrases I am especially bothered by because I feel like they are unique enough that I may have unintentionally lifted them from other books. But as unique as they are, they are still chiches that you’d see anywhere, but at the same time they are somewhat unique to the genre I’m working in. I’ve never had an issue with this before and I’ve always known that I use some phrases I’ve seen used before, but these are also used by many authors in many books.
My favorite authors have used phrases and the same structure in bits of dialogue that I’ve used first.
Sometimes I’ll see a tiny, two-word, common phrase, and use it in my books, and I’ve never had a problem with it because I know it’s just not possible to plagiarize something that’s not original. Still other times I’ll see common expressions in my books and other books and say it’s just a simple coincidence.
This has never bothered me before. I’ve been writing for years. This has never been an issue before. I have pmdd right now which I know makes me more vulnerable to being triggered but good lord this is absolutely horrible.
I took a klonopin this afternoon which knocked me out for a few hours but when I woke up I felt as crappy as I did before.
I talked to my sister, who also has ocd, and she’s assured me this whole thing is definitely ocd and that my ocd brain has completely fabricated this whole thing.
Can anyone reassure me that this is just an ocd flare up or maybe tell me that I’ve royally screwed up if that’s the case?
Ugh thank you guys.
|
OCD
|
Yes you heard that right! I don't have ADHD. Apparently , and according to my relatives, I'm just lazy and always on my phone . So that's a relief 🙂. I just need to try a little harder and find a way to be motivated . I'm just too bored and don't want to study for my upcoming tests . It's not like I can't stay focused ....... Nooooo.
Ps : this is a joke
|
ADHD
|
I have a written prescription of Adderall I need to get filled. The pharmacy I usually go to does not have my dosage, and the pharmacist tried to order it for me but he got sent the wrong dosage and was told the one I need is on backorder.
I don’t live nearby any others and I don’t have a car, so to avoid spending all day traveling around the city trying to find a pharmacy that has it I’d love to just call and check who does. I fear that I would look suspicious and get treated as such if I were to just call and ask if they had Adderall, though. I’m in NJ which is very conservative about prescription drugs, and I’m also new from out of state so I don’t have many resources.
I’m currently living off of some of my old meds I had on reserve, but I only have 5 left and I’m scared I won’t find anyone who has my dosage. Any advice? Thank you!
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone else with ADHD struggle with the idea that they aren’t infinite? If I could do something as fast as I gain an interest for it, I’d live 100 lives. I feel like ADHD makes you look for the next interesting thing constantly and then there’s 5 things I come across in a day that I could make an entire life out of. It’s like “Oo what if I design my own shoe? What if I made my own clothes? What if I just pack up and travel the world? But I need money, so what if I have a really successful career real quick? Maybe I’ll fall in love with the girl I just met at the store and the person I’ll meet tomorrow too.” That could easily be 10-20+ years of bringing those ideas to fruition, but there’s only 24 hours in the day. I feel like everyone goes through this but maybe it’s more intense for people with ADHD cause our brains can move so fast sometimes with not much time to actually do those things. Thoughts ?? Just curious cause I go through this every night.
|
ADHD
|
After many years of being prescribed various antidepressants and courses of CBT & NLT etc they seem to think I have ASD and possibly ADHD. I'm now 50 years old and hopefully I may come to some kind of resolution as the end of the tether is getting ever closer. Be safe people.
|
depression
|
Hi all, I’m new here (NT) and joined recently because my boyfriend’s therapist unofficially diagnosed him last fall with high-functioning ASD/Aspergers in his late 20s. We are in the United States. This discovery has actually been GREAT for our relationship because it cleared up a lot of confusion I had about his behavior (also for my NT best friend too whom he sees a lot since we were in the same pandemic bubble). My boyfriend doesn’t read body language well and doesn’t pick up on signals about when it’s a good time to stop talking, or the amount of depth he should go into about a topic. Now I can just directly tell him I need a pause in the conversation, or that it’s not a good time for a deep conversation because I’m busy making dinner, etc. He is totally great with this direct style of communication.
I’m curious about people’s experiences telling others that they are on the spectrum. He’s reluctant to tell other people because he seems to feel embarrassed about it and thinks people may treat him even worse than they do now if they know. He had an in-person informal social event with some new colleagues (just peers) the other day and keeps lamenting that everyone seemed to think he was weird. I suggested he tell some of them (maybe on a case-by-case basis) that he’s on the spectrum. Because my finding out that he was on the spectrum has only helped my impression of him and has improved my interactions with him. I imagine that if I had a colleague whose behavior was “non-typical” who then told me they were on the spectrum, I’d only be more understanding with them too and even less likely to write them off as being “weird.”
Thoughts? (By the way, I completely recognize and respect that it’s entirely his decision to tell anyone, he’s just not on social media to ask anyone himself.) Thanks!
|
aspergers
|
I have always enjoyed driving and am the go to driver for my friend and family. The other day I noticed that when I'm driving long distances I'm more focused on my driving this a safer driver when I don't use the adaptive cruise control. I think it makes driving less boring so it helps me to pay more attention. What are some things that you do or use to be a safer driver? I wonder if driving stick helps more then driving an automatic for similar reasons. If you've driven stick and automatic vehicles does one feel like it helps you to focus more than the other?
|
ADHD
|
I wanted to get an idea of how much meditation is practised among fellow OCD sufferers.
Here I define meditation as any formal practice of trying to calm and empty your mind for a preset period of time (could 5 minutes, could be 3 hours). The form of meditation may vary per person, but of course the canonical example of this formal practice involves sitting in lotus position with eyes closed and breathing slowly in silence or quiet ambience.
This is a very important question for me as I suffered OCD for many years with no real awareness of meditation even as a concept let alone any kind of solution for my suffering. Learning to meditate in my 20s played a huge role in my healing from this disease. In hindsight, I consider not learning to meditate at a much younger age to be a huge opportunity cost to my mental health, and sometimes wonder how my life would have differed had I started sooner.
I see meditation only mentioned sparingly in this subreddit among people with such similar illnesses as I had, I wonder how many are repeating my past "mistake" (although meditation is not necessarily the only solution for an OCD sufferer nor perhaps the optimal solution for everyone).
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/n00134)
|
OCD
|
When someone sees my 10k+ unopened emails it’s always “wow you get so much junk mail!”. It isn’t junk mail. I subscribed to 3 newsletters yesterday alone because I decided that I had a god given gift for decorating garden sheds. Last week it was making jewellery. The week before that it was making stuffed animals out of socks. At the time those newsletters were absolutely vital for nourishing my newfound talent, but are now just a daily reminder of my endless failed attempts to have a stable hobby.
|
ADHD
|
Hello, looking for support.
My main OCD spiral is that I am going to go to hell. I thought I had it under control but it is completely controlling my mind today and I just want to know, does anyone else have this thought? I feel like I see a lot of other spirals commonly, but this one feels very I guess specific. I just want to know if any of yall deal with this. And if you do, how do you cope?
In my rational mind Im like positive hell isn't even real, but in OCD spaces it feels so intense. Im posting this and then I'm gonna let the thought go and focus on other things, just wanted to ask.
|
OCD
|
First time posting here, hope I'm following the rules.
I'm sure plenty of people here know the book The Body Keeps the Score, it wasn't necessarily recommended to me by my doctor because it had just come out and she hadn't read it yet but I was desperate for first hand trauma accounts that didn't come from soldiers (back in 2015) so I read it and found it very triggering but also very helpful. I could only get through about a chapter a day because it's such a tough read but found it extremely helpful, very validating with genuinely helpful tips.
(Relevant story below, I promise)
I read it while having appointments with my doctor once a week so I was able to talk through anything I was unsure about in the book. I realize not everyone has the privilege to work through their trauma with a doctor, let alone have a little book club session.
All that being said, I had a previous partner who ended up being pretty abusive (of course I didn't realize till after) and years after we separated he messaged me because he's been reading the book, which I introduced him to, and according to him I was the one who was toxic. (Again, YEARS after we'd stopped talking)
I'm totally willing to explain what transpired to anyone who DMs but it feels too much to what is already a long post...
So I guess my question is, has anyone experienced someone who uses this book/really any other published piece to gaslight you into thinking you were the abuser?
I'm seeing the book gain popularity and honestly all I can think of are more abusers learning the language to further abuse their victims..
|
ptsd
|
I tried Focalin 15 mg at first and I felt noticeable side effects (like heart racing and couldn’t sleep) and maybe? helped attention but I stopped from side effects. Now I tried Adderall 20 mg and went up to Vyvanse 60 mg but I felt no difference. No side effects (minus appetite) and no attention benefits. Now my doctor wants to try Wellbutrin and a higher dose of adderall but I’m scared nothing will work :(
|
ADHD
|
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