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I'm just curious as I have mild Asperger's and well, idk if this is normal. I also have ADHD if that helps. any questions welcome in comments or dms
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aspergers
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I notice the more uncertain things get, the more I've been keeping some things, unable to throw them away. My room is getting too cluttered and cleaning up is an emotional chore.. so I haven't. There are obsessive fears related to throwing some of these things away.
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OCD
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I just got my diagnosis today as a grown adult. I've been trying to find ways to cope with my forgetfulness for a while and I found something that works for my professional life. My work allows me to leave personal items.
So by leaving at least one uniform set, snacks and hygene products at work at all times, I greatly lessened my anxiety and gives me way less things to remember. If I forget to do laundry or leave my lunch at home, I have a backup. Forget to put on deodorant, I got some at work.
If you can't store your items, you can still keep extra hygene products/ snacks in a work bag. I hope this helps!
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ADHD
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So earlier this year and late last year, I was treated for my OCD at a location specializing in OCD/anxiety disorders. It was 3 hours a day, 5 days a week therapy for about 12 weeks. Here’s some of the things I learned there and since then, that helped me get through my OCD:
- Exposure therapy is very useful in treating OCD. 2 of the 3 hours each day was all about exposure therapy. I, with my therapist, made a list of things that I could do to purposely put myself in threatening situations, and then I would do them, and write about how it went, what I thought would happen if I did the exposure, etc. I learned that things actually weren’t as bad as I expected, and over time the exposures became easier. And during the exposures, when I tried to distract myself from the threat (which is a compulsion), they told me to use a “hook statement”, which is a statement that connects us to our core fear (like “maybe I will get sick if I touch this doorknob” or “maybe I would want to hurt this person”)
- The only way to overcome the OCD is by doing the things you avoid (exposure therapy basically) and stopping the compulsions. For me that meant I had to purposely stop analyzing or reviewing in my mind (which was a compulsion) in order to “make sure” or “check” if something was fine or not. Also stopping doing physical (non-mental) compulsions like excessive praying (I have scrupulosity), asking people if what I did was ok or right (reassurance, a big thing they said we should not seek for), etc. this one is pretty hard because sometimes it felt like if I didn’t do the compulsion, my life would be ruined, or I would go to hell or something.
- They said that for OCD, when we feel like we “can’t” do something, we should do it (basically we do the opposite of what the OCD tells us). And if we feel like we “have to” do something (like check something etc), then we purposely don’t do it.
- One thing that helped me is that I learned better how to digest my emotions. There’s 2 ways of dealing with emotions (especially ones we don’t like): 1. We fight it (“why do I feel like this?”, “I hate this feeling”, “I just need to make this feeling go away”) 2. We mindfully digest it (“I notice I feel…”) Basically we allow ourselves to feel the intense emotion (anxiety, fear, sadness etc) without trying to push it away or trying to pull it in. And when we start getting caught up in our thoughts and worries, direct our mind back to the emotion.
I hope this is helpful.
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OCD
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Does anyone one else find that they can go from one mood to the opposite in only minutes?
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aspergers
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Hey so I got diagnosed like last week with this (20 year old and nonbinary). I knew I had ADHD for a while, but because I now have an official diagnosis, I need a place like reddit where I can rant about how hellish my week has been.
I recently moved into an apartment along with my mum and sibling. It's been stressful trying to not only juggle unpacking and setting everything up, doing every day things like chores, but also trying to doing full time college. It's basically all online, but even last term when I was doing full time it was... way. *too.* ***much.*** I was having break downs every few weeks because of my workload, and thats def the ADHD kicking in. My mum still wants me to do full time though, because 1) it keeps me busy and 2) I'm getting paid for it. So here I am doing something that's agonizing. This term its not as bad, but the move made everything worse. I barely have any time to commit to my hobbies and get that sweet stimulation/dopamine hits I need to survive with my messed up brain, so I'm procrastinating way harder than I normally do.
I had three assignments due on the same day (31st October, fun), but I asked for an extension for one because of the move. It was due on the 7th, yet I submitted it two days late. The reason why my week has been horrible is because I started up an unhealthy coping mechanism to combat the stress AND to also procrastinate. I started cutting my hair every day. I couldn't stop, and I blame the bad impulse control. So yeah it looks kinda shit now when it's not tied up, but I would spend hours just cutting it and cleaning up my mess, and I felt really guilty every time it happened because I wasn't able to work on my assignment (and I felt like a freak because I couldn't control myself). When I thought I was making progress with my work, I would see a "flaw" in my hair and end up cutting a lot off, wasting so *much time.* My mum would get angry every time she caught me, or when I left a bit of hair anywhere by accident. Today ended with an explosion of emotion from me because I wanted to talk about how gross I felt with it all, but she basically shut me down because I was stressing her out. It just didn't end well.
Anyway, now that I submitted my assignment (and she hid all the scissors), I really hope I start to feel better and move on from my coping strategy. Unfortunately, I have \*more\* assignments coming up, and I don't know how I will be able to manage with them specifically because I am. really fucking *burnt out*. Burnt out all from last term, and this term its just getting worse.
I don't really need any tips from anyone, I just want someone to really hear me and sympathize or empathize because my mum sure as hell doesn't try to when I speak about my disability and just disregards it every time. Thanks for listening ig.
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ADHD
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This will possibly be a bit long. I was diagnosed with emetophobia and OCD earlier this year. I got the diagnosis bc at this point my emetophobia kept me from living a normal life and I knew sth had to be done. I've been in therapy for my phobia since August and when I started doing exposure, my habits and compulsions related to emetophobia instantly became better.
Here's the catch though - ever since my emetophobia started improving, my OCD and especially my intrusive thoughts have been back with a vengeance. It almost feels worse than before because it has me at a point where I cry every day, I wake up already feeling physical sadness in my chest and even though I do have a good time when I'm distracted, at the end of the day I'm back to feeling low and lonely. In September I started dating this guy I met via a dating app (which I downloaded bc I thought it was time to push myself out of my comfort zone). However, that's when my intrusive thoughts started and they all revolve around him/my own feelings towards him. We've been on 3 dates, 2 of which were great and one wasn't that good bc I was feeling terrible that day.
But even then, I am constantly thinking about whether I like him romantically or not. One moment I'm convinced things are going well and the next I'm sure I don't want to be in a relationship with him. The fact that I'm also scared of never finding anyone who loves me doesn't help. I'm also living alone in a giant city knowing no one (but him) well enough to talk about my mental health problems, with my family 5 hrs away and no way to leave bc of uni. The prospect of not seeing my family until christmas is the worst and I'm really feeling more and more depressed.
Now my date also asked me to clarify my feelings for him (understandably), to which I had to answer that I don't know. Which is true, bc I can't tell what thoughts are my OCD and what are my true feelings. Talking to my date is exhausting rn bc i'm not sure I even want to be in a relationship with him, but the thought of dropping him also scares me. And I feel terrible bc I'm probably hurting him by acting this way.
I just feel like ever since I started getting therapy I've been spiralling and I don't know what to do to get better. If anyone has any experiences like this, please share if you want, it'd be greatly appreciated
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OCD
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I was diagnosed with OCD 2 years ago and ever since then my psychiatrist and I have been trying to figure out what medicine is best to lessen the intrusive thoughts (I have PureO). I’ve taken tons of SSRIs and they didn’t help. I’m currently on wellbutrin and clomipramine. Clomipramine did help initially, but the side effects are awful so first I am going back to a lower dose for a few weeks and meet with the doctor again in a month. He sent me a list of different medications that i could try, such as Luvox and Lactimal. I don’t have any other friends who have OCD so I feel like I’m kinda alone at this. Curious to see what you guys on here have found to help you. And yes, I know everyone is different :)
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OCD
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A little background here I’ve always had trouble in school paying attention and just getting shit done in general. During my Freshman year of High School things got so bad that my mom suggested I should go on medication so I tried a bunch of different ones and none really were a game changer and I lost weight in the process so I got frustrated and just stopped medication all together. However now I’m 19M and in Community College and things have gotten worse for me I feel like I’m constantly behind on something and have trouble remembering things that aren’t significant. I’m worried for myself and my future and I need advice.
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ADHD
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No matter what, I always unintentionally do things that make people mad at me. Even if I do nothing at all.
Every job I ever had hated me whether I did something or not. I was fired from every single one for trying to stand up for myself.
My own family sometimes can’t stand me, even if I don’t do anything at all.
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depression
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I’ve been having an absolutely horrendous OCD flare up the last few months and it’s gotten to the point that I needed to see a psychiatrist urgently. I spoke to him and he wants me to take a genetic test to see which antidepressant I react the best to since I’ll be on it for the long run (so it’ll be a week or two before I can get on it).
In the meantime he offered me a 2mg Abilify prescription to manage some of the more disturbing side effects of my OCD. He said this would only be for the short term (he’d probably take me off it within a few weeks of starting the SSRI). I am really terrified to take this for a number of reasons but I’m also really terrified of what’s going on in my head, so I need opinions. Should I take it or just wait it out a few weeks for the SSRI/therapy to kick in?
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OCD
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I use dexamphetamine. But in half an hour/hour it kicks in and i feel like its starting to work and i can get out of bed. But then 2,5/3 hours later i feel like it is not working anymore. I get really grumpy and really irritated about everything. But on the internet i read that it should be working for 4-8 hours.. So why is it not working that long for me?
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ADHD
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I’ve just started playing piano regularly again since I switch my major from piano/music therapy halfway through uni, so I hadn’t really tried to play new stuff since starting medication to treat ADHD (and other stuff), and holy crap I couldn’t sight-read this well even at my peak in college. I could learn pieces at the same level as everyone else at my class level in my piano studio, but I couldn’t sight-read for shit. Before now, I never understood how people could process all of the information on the page as quickly as they could, and now I understand it was because my braid literally didn’t process information and stimuli correctly before now. I know most people won’t understand what a huge deal this is for me, but my being absolutely abysmal at sight-reason was a huge source of shame and embarrassment for me for so long, and now I feel so vindicated and validated. It makes me wonder how different other aspect of my music education could have been had I been diagnosed and treated at the age of 6 like my brother, instead of 25. Thankfully, my music education and career doesn’t have to end because I end up majoring is something different at uni!
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ADHD
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So I’ve got appointments tomorrow with my “team” of VA doctors and I am wondering when I am going to let them see my true self. What they see is a “pleasant 43 y/o male” (as the notes say) and they aren’t wrong. That is the persona I give to them. Yes sir, no ma’am I’m fine, wake up pain is an 8 but I get through the day...” blah blah blah. Loose, comfortable, pleasant. However, what I want to say and do are so contradictory to this I really wonder what would happen. What would happen if I took off this mask and you saw how I really feel? The physical and mental exhaustion from assessing every face I see as a threat. Every corner I turn, piece of road debris I encounter, every shitbag driver is a target that is analyzed, filed and appropriately countered. All day, everyday. Throw in the constant pain that apparently is just my brain having a malfunctioning feedback loop. Wake up, push through the day, collapse at the end, rinse and repeat. When will I be able to say to a doctor with enough authority that something will actually change? How long is enough? PMA only gets me in and out of bed. It’s not a solution. Yet, I know that I’ll leave the VA tomorrow with no answers, no viable solutions, just a team of doctors that think they’ve got me all figured out. Sigh. I guess we’ll see. (First ever reddit post. More to follow).
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ptsd
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Hello all
I've been playing guitar for 10 years (22) and I used to be able to focus and practice every day but I had to drop out of a music university due to mental health and (then undiagnosed) ADHD. knowing I have ADHD I am now considering going back but struggling to practice and learn all the scales theory etc.
Any fellow musicians who've experienced the same executive function problems regarding this and how did you deal/not deal with it?
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ADHD
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I think ADHD is a disorder, as in that it drastically affects one’s quality of life. However, I don’t think I quite agree with it being a ‘mental illness’. In the same way, I wouldn’t consider ASD a mental illness either.
I don’t have a clear cut definition of mental illness - but I’d consider depression, anxiety disorder as examples.
Thoughts?
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ADHD
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Whenever my cat pukes or accidentally shits on the floor I get so agitated (NOT at the cat whatsoever), but I feel my anxiety levels spike because I have to clean up and sanitize every spot AND also make sure it's dry so that cleaning fluids dont accidentally make their way into my cat too. But during the process I get so angry slamming doors and I have a compulsive urge to throw things. Is there a way I can combat this?
Just a side note: I am in control enough of my emotions that I will not take my anger out on other people or my cats that I love so dearly (not that I would want to anyways) ♥️
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OCD
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Hi my fellow fighters. I need some advice from those of who you have slayed this beast OCD as best as you possibly can. Once you've done all your exposures, you've done all your CBT, you've tackled 1-20 of all your greatest fears and nothing has happened, you've reduced your anxiety from maxed-out 100% to like 20% **but you're still struggling with the General Beliefs & Assumptions, the Critical Incident and Early Experiences that kickstarted this mf in the first place --**
THEN WHAT?
I know not all OCD is from trauma or a messed up childhood but for me it most certainly is - my early life experiences and a critical incident married together so perfectly to give birth to a bunch of general beliefs & assumptions that has brought forth OCD. And now the OCD petals have been plucked out but I am still haunted and bothered and worried, upset and emotional about what brought this about in the first place.
How do I tackle this?
I've been googling psychologist vs psychiatrist vs psychoanalyst and I am none the wiser. I'm pretty confident I have PTSD but I'm not sure. I'm struggling to process my early life experiences and my general beliefs.
If you are struggling with something alongside OCD but that is deeper and a core belief, how do you uproot it? Who do you see to diagnose it and then who should you see to uproot it?
Anyone who has any advice and experience in what I'm talking about first-hand, your thoughts are very much appreciated.
I am UK based just in case that's relevant.
Thanks
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OCD
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I'm extremely inattentive it's ruining my social life and my performance today
We had a sports class and there is this game of picking a peer and we both turn behind and each one take a color so when the teacher picks a color the student designated with this color start running and his peer try to catch him from behind
So me whenever the teacher picks a color i start running even when I'm supposed to catch my friend, most of people in my class start questioning my mental abilities like every year, every year I show the same symptoms of absent mindness and extreme impaulsivity even when I do breathing exercises and meditation and this makes me upset my ADHD is ruining my life for real
Please guys if there is anything besides meds(can't afford them for now) and breathing exercices I can do to get rid of that inattentiveness help me Cuz I'm sick and tired of that condition, its costing me the best years of my life I'm turning 20 this January..
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ADHD
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Ive been having increasingly bad panic attacks. They last anywhere from an hour to 4-6 hours, almost every day. Today I woke up and fully believed I was having a heart attack. It was an anvil, heavier than normal on my chest, my left chest was sore, heart rate through the roof, sweating.... I barely remember some of it. Eventually I ended up throwing up and felt better. I started to calm down. I worked for a while and my therapist called and I told her what happened, and she made me call 911 for a possible heart attack. She stayed on the phone. I called and within 5-7 minutes I had 5 fire medics at my door, come in and quickly start doing assessment. I was dissociating because of panic and a trigger from the past. I would never have called them if she hadn’t made me.
The medics were really nice. I was cleared with the vitals and offered a transport which I declined based off the ekg and vitals report. But it was such a blur. I swear it happened in 15 minutes. I found it unnerving to have this all happen so fast, so many men in my apartment and I was so out of it in panic I couldn’t really articulate anything.
But I am glad to know my heart is fine, but I’ve never had this happen before despite having been in ambulances before, I’ve never called 911.
It was a really rough day and my panic attacks are just getting worse and worse and worse and I don’t know how to manage it.
That’s all.
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ptsd
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Well to make a long freaking story short my mind is like... It FEELS like my mind is trying to justify sexism, homophobia, racism etc. and the thoughts cause anxiety so I'm stuck in a cycle of getting the thoughts, trying to reassure myself that I don't actually feel that way and just repeating this cycle every time a new thought pops up. Really hoping my therapist and I can find a way through this. Anywho that's it, thanks for reading. Fuck OCD!
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OCD
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I often just seek the path of least resistance and even though when I have aimed for goals I usually have learned things quite well however I very often would rather just sit and information binge regarding my special interests or just procrastinate in some way even though there are several things that are more productive which I could be doing with my free time and energy
Now that especially since the quarantine and me graduating high school I have been in a relaxed type of mode for many months
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aspergers
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Stuff just downright sucks right now. I haven't gone to do my favorite hobby, because I had to leave mid tournament due to an emergency. I feel embarrassed, and haven't gone back to the store since.
It already feels like nobody likes me, now I just feel isolated. Can't go back, because I'm worried there will be another emergency and ill have to put my life on hold again.
I'm 23 still living with my mom. Im saving money so I can move, but it's taking awhile.
I try to help with bills and other things around the house, but whenever I offer more help im told there's nothing else I can do.
To top it all off my dad's health is failing. He wasn't really a good father, but I still love him. Im confused because I want to hate him, but then I feel even worse if I do. It's confusing.
I just want to be able to help more, but I can't.
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depression
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Stuff like your religious beliefs, political, social, any beliefs
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OCD
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so i decided to open my twitter app, which actually gets notifs from nsfw twitters cause i used to look at those all the time, anyway i ignored the notif, kinda. i clicked on one and read abit, but then i stopped after the first two lines, it was a smut writing thingy, anyway after i ignored it, i was already having a groinal response anyway so i decided to mess with my grion area cause i was like it would go away if i just fapped, but i decided to look up a twitter of a kpop group cause that's kinda the reason why i opened twitter, i wasn't fapping at that point cause tbh i didn't want to was still touching myself abit tho, but when i looked into the twitter to see if i followed them i got an intrusive thought wondering if i was going to come across a post about if a person died.
anyway i was still touching myself at this point i stopped after that thought, masturbation is one of my compulsions in general, i hated that i was touching myself at that point, i didn't realize i was until that thought came across,
anyway i actually decided to go to nsfw twitter and fap anyway cause i was told, that if you just stop it gives more power to the thoughts, and it was lined up with intrusive thoughts, and i hated it.
i feel very morbid tbh even though i know i wasn't really aroused at all, just reacting to a groinal response.
i hate that i was fapping to nsfw twitter about kpop idols and to the actual group twitter when i was touching myself, i feel ashamed cause i want to be a normal fan and i don't like looking at these guys sexually, and was mostly just the explination of what people were talking about what they'd do to these men, but still.
i find it creepy that i did that, i want to be a normal fan of this without guilt about it, i just also want to be normal in general but ocd doesnt help at all with that.
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OCD
|
My entire life I've never really been good at one thing. I'm always sub-par with everything. People call me stupid, tell me that I just need to use my brain for once, I can barely remember to do anything I'm told, and even if I remember to do what I'm told, I usually fuck it up anyway. I always hit this plateau when I try to learn any skill where I just don't get any better. Then I usually end up giving up because I try as hard as I can to get better and then give up because it feels like it's pointless.
I just have always wanted to know why I am this way. Why do I fail at being a regular human? Why can't I complete regular tasks or take any responsibility for myself? Is it me? Am I just that lazy? I can't even bother to take showers for weeks at a time or clean my room because I just so badly want to be doing something else.
It never gets any better either. There's an ebb and a flow, but the lows feel really low and the highs never last more than a day. I want to stop feeling so useless, but I'm so unsure of how to do it. I can't bring myself to put the effort into bettering myself either because it's too much work. Go figure. Just what purpose do I have living a life like this. Being useless and incompetent at everything.
​
Or is it possible that it's my lack of understanding ADHD? Maybe it's the 20 years of being told that ADHD only meant that I was hyper and couldn't focus. Maybe it was all those years of being told that I was just "being dramatic" when things made me cry easily. I don't know. I have only somewhat recently figured out that ADHD doesn't simply entail a lack of focus and bouncing off the walls. Only 21 years into my life.
​
Writing this out is just making me feel defeated. I know I'm going to hate every response that says "I know your pain but you just have to put in the work" but I also know it's the truth. I just hate that I have to put in so much more effort than others. Not just physical effort, but so much more effort into willpower. This was mostly a rant, but I'm hoping some of you will at least tell me it'll get better because I don't think I can handle this much longer.
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ADHD
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I keep on posting in this sub about my scrupulosity, but I was just curious about something. I always get obsessed over whether or not God is ok with something, and I think of the obsessions over and over again every day. Here are some of the obsessions I have, and the questions I ask myself. some of these are illogical and embarrassing so just stick with me:
\- is God ok with me being goth? isn't that something satanists do?
\- is God ok with me listening and making dark music?
\- is God ok with me watching or reading works of fiction containing magic? (this is the one I think about the most, you can see if you look through my account)
\- is it ok for me to dress like im from lotr (which I do a lot), considering norse people were Pagan?
\- isn't me using incense/making a cross symbol a form of witchcraft? am I doing witchcraft just by worshipping God?
The list goes on and on, but it pretty much consumes every day. and each day I have to convince myself that all of these things are ok, it hardly works. it makes me question, if these things weren't okay, would I not want to worship God? Then it makes me feel guilty, because it feels like I find more importance in things of the world than in God. I started having these obsessions maybe 6 months ago during quarantine, and the question of whether I find these things more important than God, mixed with my obsessions that last all day, makes me feel so guilty that the things I enjoy, and I mean almost EVERYTHING (I couldn't walk outside into the forest the other day without triggering these thoughts) , doesn't feel special anymore. Because of these thoughts, there isn't a moment in my life where im not scared or overwhelmed anymore. Are my thoughts true, or is my OCD lying to me??
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OCD
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I started seeing my new psychiatrist a month ago, and booked an appointment a month after to talk about medication and possibly get me on a stronger one. Booked in for a Monday, put it in my phone calendar. So, 5 days ago I get an email from the receptionist reminding me of the appointment, but the email says Tuesday. Well, I often get things wrong, I should trust the email instead of what I have down in the calender.
Well, today my mother (she advocates for me since she is a nurse) and I get to the building, walk in and greet the receptionist. After, she says "well, your appointment was *actually* yesterday", saying it in a tone as if I was at fault. I look at my mum, then look back at the receptionist. I stutter, "w-well, I got an email saying it was t-today", as my fingers quickly search for the email. I felt like a bumbling idiot.
My hand trembles holding my phone to show her the email, scared that she won't accept that and still charge for the missed appointment. After a deep, disappointed sigh, she softly repeats "oh my god...".
To lighten the mood, my mum and I look at each other and rush to pardon her, as my mum chuckles and says "well that's alright, it means I won't be late for my dinner with my friends, as I assumed I might be because of this appointment!". The receptionist looked like she was about to cry, her eyes glistening.
Even though I tried to ensure that she didn't feel bad, I was more than excited to try new medication. This whole event made me feel exactly how I have so many times as a teenager getting dates wrong, even though it wasn't my fault this time. I feel like a failure for not ringing and checking, I feel like a failure for not even having the self confidence to think to check. I just assume I'm wrong.
Thankfully she squeezed me in for next Monday, but I won't have my mother with me sadly. My mum put in the appointment in the calender this time, since my mum is infinitely better with time and I know that it's right.
I don't really mind the fact that there was a mistake made, even though I try my hardest to be on time, but the fact she sounded like it was my mistake when it was hers is what upsets me. She was deeply apologetic, but to assume that I would make a mistake like that when I've spent years anxiously being hours early to everything makes me feel terrible.
I hate that people assume I'm the one at fault because I have ADHD. I would not make a mistake like that, especially for an appointment as expensive as this one is.
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ADHD
|
I am in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD-PI and autism. In this process I have dealt with a lot of doctors who dismiss me because I got good grades in school.
I was a straight A student in my university classes, and I managed my time pretty well, so I find people always assume I "can't" have ADHD. But it makes so much sense to me in the context of my life - I forget things almost as soon as they are told to me, so I write everything down. When I was a kid I was always described as spacey/a daydreamer. I would get in trouble in class for reading things that were more interesting to me if the subject was boring, and even though I was bright and did well in my classes, I was often bad at testing because I would make loads of careless mistakes when topics were easy (and thus boring) to me. I had even more ADHD behavioral symptoms as a kid than now, but I did well in school and as I got older I learned how to adapt, and so no one really thought anything of it, even though I was constantly tired and overwhelmed from forcing myself to meet expectations.
Also, it's not like being "good" at school didn't cost me anything - I ran my life like a dictator, and it was exhausting to stick to the absurd plans I made myself to get everything done. Because of the autistic/systemizing parts of my brain, I can easily plan everything to death, but sticking to my deadlines often left me completely burned out. That being said, school had a structure I could follow for whatever reason, I could hyperfocus on tasks at will almost, and I was interested in most of the classes, and everything always felt urgent. So I got my work done. At work, though, I feel like I can't motivate myself to do anything at all.
The difficulties at work are really what led me to thinking I have inattentive ADHD. I often just completely space out even if I'm trying my absolute hardest to focus. I do pomodoros everyday, but even that is difficult for me. It's not that my work isn't interesting, it just feels like my brain won't cooperate with me like...ever. It takes me stupid amounts of time just to mentally prepare myself for work, and if someone interrupts me, it takes ages to remember what I was doing. I try to be kind to myself, but it just feels horrible to be "bad" at productivity, even though I don't even agree with the idea of work ethic. At least at university, I had different classes to be a part of, and just being physically in class multiple times a week reminded me too stay on track. It's confusing because I was so good at managing my time at school, but I have absolutely sunk without that balance of structure and flexibility in the professional world.
For those with similar experiences, how did you deal with these changes/explain your symptoms to doctors? I feel like I went from being "so smart" to feeling incredibly stupid, and on top of it, doctors don't believe I could be inattentive because I did well in uni, despite absolutely floundering professionally.
TL;DR- I did fantastic at school despite probable autism/adhd. It cost me a lot (ate up all my "spoons" so to speak), but I was interested in most of the classes, and everything always felt urgent. I was a straight A college student in a tech degree at a great university. At work, though, I feel like I can't make myself to do anything at all. Does anyone have advice for how to deal with the environment change and be successful/explaining all of this to doctors?
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ADHD
|
**Therapist**
Hi and welcome to Talkspace! My name is therapist and I will be sharing with you how we work and helping you choose the best subscription for your needs (individual, couples/family therapy, and/or medication management). Can you please share how you found us, your name, age, state/country you live in and what you would like to work on in therapy?
**John Smith**
my mom told me about the site, john smith 136, Antarctica. i would like to work on ptsd and self harm
**Therapist**
Nice to meet you john , difficult time are you working through past trauma, PTSD and self harm. What kind of trauma have you been through
**John Smith**
childhood sexual abuse, abandonment issuses. adhd. i have a problem with my [adhd](http://adhd.nim/)
i'm extremely visual in my thinking. when i was a journey man iron worker i saw death and mutilation. alot of hazing to apprentices. cut myself as a kid. cant do that anymore. i have kids and i dont want them to be taken away. some times my memories and reality are over lapping. lol
**Therapist**
Very difficult from early on, everything that you went through, and how it affects you now. I’m glad you are safe at this time, any thoughts of self harming yourself at all
**John Smith**
all the time. i brings me peace to engineer something in my head using pikes and compressors but when it gets that bad when i start formulating diagrams in my head is when i go to my step dad and tell him my thoughts. he's my foundation i guess
**Therapist**
So glad you have support from your stepdad, reaching out for help and support wanting more control and healthy balance for yourself
Have you worked with a therapist before to help, work through the past trauma and abuse, support with ADHD?
**John Smith**
yeah but i have a bias on therapists. as a kid the meds never helped and i think i grew up distrustful of people people being certified on a subject that you can very easily learn yourself. im only talking to you for my children.
**Therapist**
Are you willing to give therapy another try, would you like me to share how we work
**John Smith**
my fight or flight response is kicking in. i think im going to fly. im sorry to waste your time. if im feeling brave enough to talk to another then i will. please be patient and wait for unspecified amount of time.
**Therapist**
I will leave our information just in case
Your room is here 24/7, whenever you need it. This is your space to write as much as you want, whenever you want. Your therapist responds back in the same room. The messaging with your therapist is not live time. You can also post photos, audio messages, and video messages. The matching process for your therapist usually takes about a day. We have our messaging therapy as well as two options that have live video sessions included in the plan.
Just click the link I posted to see the drop down menu to select the options that work best for you. No commitment needed to review all your choices. \*\*\*I have a $100 off coupon to help you get started. Available on any plan or billing option for your initial purchase! Use coupon code: SPACE \*\*\*You will also notice there are different billing options in the link. You can save an additional 10-20% if you choose a quarterly or biannual plan. \*\*\* I do recommend the quarterly or biannual plan to get that additional discount, if it's affordable. On average, clients do spend about 8-12 weeks in therapy. Live sessions can take a week to schedule, sometimes sooner.
**John Smith**
lol i knew it i cant get help without compensation .
**Therapist**
Let me know if there is a certain plan that you are leaning towards, or if you have any questions or hesitations. Many clients have used their HSA or FSA flex program if you have one. Also there is no contract you can cancel at anytime.
**John Smith**
i live in a plastic tool shed. how the fuck am i going to pay for a therapists. just caring about the amount of clientele you get to pay the bills. never really concerned about the individual because one must distance themselves from their patience. there is nothing, no caring, only greed. these are the things i see in this capitalistic therapeutic system we have here. lol
**Therapist**
I think it's very important that you get the help you need, and there are actually some great resources available for free. For a list of free resources in your area, go to [https://helpnow.talkspace.com/](https://helpnow.talkspace.com/)
You can also check out Crisis Text Line, which offers free, 24/7 support and information via text. To get started, text START to 741741. If you are in a life threatening situation, call the 24-hr National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
9:47 PM
(im so tired of people pretending to care.)
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depression
|
As the title says, I'm barely able to eat. Some days I forget my meds, and I still don't feel hungry, and so typically I forget to eat. When I do remember, I'm typically nauseous during and after eating, which drives down my desire to eat in the future. I think my daily intake is about 1200 calories, if I'm counting right, but nearly half of it is soda. My BMR is close to 1700, and that doesn't include the calories I spend walking around. I'm clearly running a deficit, and that jives with my observations, because I'm definitely losing weight. I'm already pretty skinny, so that's not good. The worst it's ever been is about 36 hours with no solid food, or about 18 with no calories at all.
This is all compounded by the fact that I'm a grad student, and I barely have time for leisure, let alone eating, compounded again because I have loads of allergies to common foods, and compounded AGAIN because I am mildly autistic and have aversion to many foods. I'm also being treated for depression and anxiety. I think the latter contributes to my not eating by causing fear about stomach pain/nausea.
Right now I'm mostly eating frozen meals and soda. I'm trying to make sure I generally get the nutrients I need, but there's no way to know for sure.
I'm terrified to report any of this to my doctor, because I'm virtually non-functional without my meds (there's no question in my mind that I'd have to drop out of school if I didn't have them), and I'm afraid if they hear that I'm not eating, they'll take me off of them.
What do I do? I really need to fix this, but I don't know how.
|
ADHD
|
I’m not sure if I have OCD but I’ve thought for a while that I may. I recently overcame a hard time in my life related to about four months of intrusive thoughts that hindered my wellbeing and daily functioning, so I thought it was about time I tried to find help. I’m currently working toward finding a therapist, but until then I wanted to know what tips, if any, people have for dealing with the stress and anxiety produced by compulsions and intrusive thoughts.
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OCD
|
I have a really big fear of being shot or sniped with a gun while I'm driving. Is this ocd or psychotic? I was very scared/paranoid while driving.
|
OCD
|
So my OCD makes me list various thoughts in my head, then I feel I need to write them down. If I forget what one of these thoughts are, it makes me extremely anxious.
Does anyone else have this?
|
OCD
|
That experience just completely drained my will to meet or talk with other people. The suck is real...
|
aspergers
|
I don’t really know if this is the right place to post about this but earlier today I found a body hanging from a tree while I was out with my baby brother. I was the one that called it in to the police. Pretty sure it was suicide. That was genuinely the last thing I expected to see and I really don’t know how to process this at all. My friends and family have obviously been trying their best to comfort me but I can’t explain there’s this feeling in the pit of my stomach that won’t go away. Not really sure what to do
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ptsd
|
So almost 30 years later I finally had a VA PTSD assessment this morning. It wasn't what I expected, I thought maybe I was going to finally figure out what's been wrong. After years of docs and nurses at so many ERs looking at me like I was crazy, for the past week I've been thinking that maybe I'd finally have an answer. But no, it felt more like much of the same garbage, a lot of questions that seemed to have a starting point from an attempt to prove I'm some crazy, lying asshole looking to score a disability rating. I have a nearly 30 year trail behind me of bankruptcies, ER bills, shitty work history all because I wanted to strengthen my case for a disability claim? I didn't even consider going to the VA for anything until a bit over a year ago when I lost my most recent employment and was tired of facing more unpaid hospital bills.
I just want to know what's wrong - I want to stop the panic, I want to stop the anger, I want to stop doubting myself, stop being disappointed in myself, stop hating myself.
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ptsd
|
not trying to offend anyone here but more posting this out of interest. So, I live in New Zealand - we have a pretty good work/life balance and protections like guaranteed 4 weeks of holiday a year etc. We also don't have the full-on hustle culture here.
I say this because browsing this sub I see a crazy number of posts from American people blaming their ADHD/thinking they have ADHD for not being able to work INSANE hours - often on top of study, childcare, side hustles or whatever. It makes me sad for y'all because I'm like ... that's not your adhd at fault; it's an unfair and near-impossible work culture. Other "wealthy" nations do not live like this (I've lived in both AUS and the UK) and it makes me wonder how many people over there get diagnosed just because they can't keep up with this expectation?
Interested to hear thoughts
|
ADHD
|
Let’s just get this out of the way immediately; I hate myself. I HATE myself. I don’t believe that I have a single redeemable quality that will ever allow me to have the sort of functioning life required to be an adult. I can’t see myself ever having the ability to have a job (Some days I can’t even leave my room) or raise a family (I’m asexual and ugly anyway, so I’m screwed in that regard) or even be content with my position in life. I HATE myself, and my existence on this world must be some cruel joke.
Enter: my ex-girlfriend. We dated for four years before she eventually broke things off. She had always believed she was asexual too, but broke up with me after a year or so of wondering whether she really loved me romantically. After a year of believing I was really over her, she recently revealed that she has learned that she is not asexual and was, in fact, just not attracted to ME.
FUCK!!!
WHY??? Why do I have to be who I am?? Why do I have to be this miserable excuse of a human being and the living embodiment of every horrible genetic trait you could possibly have??? I genuinely don’t think I have any reason to live. I can’t talk about this to any friends or family, and every day is spent with these thoughts swirling through my head. I HATE myself!
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depression
|
Holidays can be Tough for many victims of Emotional Disorders - Such as PTSD
​
Hoping we Are All Blessed and Thankful for what we have Today!!
​
Cheers to Today, and the Holiday Season.
​
Everybody Stay Up and Well 🤝 ☀️ 🙏
|
ptsd
|
My OCD has been out of control lately. I feel like I am losing my grip on autonomy of my mind and body. Idk how relevant this is but almost all of my compulsions are done when I am alone so I am able to function normally (for the most part) around people but when I am alone, which is often, I end up spending ALL of my time fighting off thoughts and doing my compulsions, the latter of which spirals out of control the longer I'm alone.
A short while ago, I was getting some work done and a thought pops up and it's bad so I immediately begin consciously walking through the thought and imagining it never happening. I start spiraling and the thought gets worse so my compulsion gets even worse and before I know it, no joke, I spent and entire hour with my eyes closed laser-focused on my compulsion. A whole ass 60 mins. OCD is stealing my time and my ability to get actual shit done and be productive. I am very afraid I will ruin my life if this continues. I am losing my mental agency.
This was meant to be a short post, but when I start talking about this, I have so many emotions that its hard to stop.
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OCD
|
I hate this, i hate this so much, i know this task will only take 2 hours max to be finished but i've been working on it for 6 hours and i'm not halfway done yet, i haven't been distracting myself much, i'm just extremely slow and can barely work any faster, my mind feels sooooo slow, i know i will finish it eventually but it's past midnight and i need to be up in 6 hours and go to uni, i envy my classmates who have finished theirs already and will get enough rest and sleep for tonight.
I just felt like ranting about it because this is the most annoying thing to me, i just wanna get things done faster, this is torturing me rn ...
|
ADHD
|
Hi, So I wanted to come here to ask for advice! I recently realised that whenever I'm alone with someone I always switch "per se" to this anxious, alert person and I'll be prepared to do whatever I can to survive. The reason this topic came up was that my friend offered to hang out with me the next day and I agreed because my parents aren't happy with me not touching grass. The happiness I felt dissipated as soon as they asked if they could go somewhere alone with me because populated places are too loud for them and make them feel anxious. I physically felt and I myself knew that if that happened I'd be on edge and other feelings I cannot explain. I just feel bad about not trusting my own friends.
I think my T now also knows I don't trust her enough to go ahead with EMDR, I feel awful but I can't trust anyone easily (anymore anyway). Am I defective?
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ptsd
|
Every time I move to live in a new city/country, I feel like my ADHD goes away but it never lasts. For about a month or two, I'll be able to function like a normal human being, sleeping/getting up on time, exercising regularly and maintaining habits. But afterwards, I can feel my ADHD coming back, skipping classes, waking up past noon, skipping meals, feeling tired and having no motivation overall. I'm curious if anyone else feels like this
|
ADHD
|
I got the notice today that my therapist is closing her business and I will need to find a new therapist. I absolutely hate the thought of starting over with someone new. I've been with this therapist for about 2 years, she was the one who helped me through my initial diagnosis of cptsd. I don't know if I can handle moving to someone else and starting again. Part of me wants to just stop going completely, even though I know in the long run that's probably the worst thing I could do. I'm starting to feel lost and anxious already just thinking about it and it's only been a few hours since I heard the news.
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ptsd
|
i don't know if it's needed but just in case i would like to add a TW for domestic abuse and death
hey everyone! i hope you're having a good day; first things first, im really grateful for this sub, i've been feeling so alone these days and reading through your posts has served as relief. second, i guess i just really need to vent.
i've been through two major traumatic events in life as far as i can recognize, one went on for years, i was a victim of domestic abuse, the second was my uncle's murder earlier this year (i don't really want to go into details).
i just don't even know where to start, i had never felt so desperate before, i'm drowning in issues. i'm extremely paranoid, i can't sleep at night because i can't shake off the feeling that someone is going to break in and i have to be awake to act quick, it has lead me to develop a caffeine addiction because the thought of falling asleep makes me ten times more anxious than caffeine. if i do manage to sleep then it's 5 hours the most and i haven't had a single good dream in an entire year, i keep on having the most violent nightmares, by now i've sort of learned to ignore them but the first couple months were torture, i would wake up crying or sweating every time.
it scares me to leave my house, i can only go out if a family member goes out with me, i can't go out to the store or the park by myself because i get bombarded by a thousand paranoid thoughts and awful scenarios.
i get flooded by intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, i don't trust myself around scissors, knives, hammers, etc anymore, i've learned not to panic and remind myself that those thoughts don't represent who i am but i've had meltdowns over how scared they make me.
overall, there's just this feeling of emptiness i can't get rid of, everything seems so pointless, it wasn't always like this. i don't truly enjoy doing the things i used to love like drawing or reading and if i do them, there's no satisfaction to them and it's turning into a barrier between me and my future because i want to pursue a career in art but how am i going to do so when most days i can't even pull out the energy to brush my teeth or shower. worst part is the heartbreak of trying to get better every single day but going back to the same dark place after every attempt.
i am so irritated all of the time, i hate being around people, i've lost all of my friends, my memory is getting so bad; a couple hours ago i spent a good 30 minutes trying to remember how to tie a knot. i've gained 70 lbs in the span of two years because the only way i know how to cope is binging. i don't know, i just don't want to feel like this anymore, i've reached out to my family for help but they don't even try to understand, they blame it on me and say it's a choice and an attitude problem; two years ago i revealed to them that i was being abused by a family member and they never told them a word. i've felt so embarrassed ever since, like i should've never said a thing. it's hard to be around them, i don't even feel safe or supported in my own house. i think it would do me some good to live by my own but it's hard to keep my mind on something, i keep on starting projects i could profit off and then i drop them a month later.
i don't know, i just don't know. i keep on wondering if i should get used to living like this or if it will ever get better.
i would really appreciate some words of comfort, thank you for listening.
|
ptsd
|
I am a lifelong coprophile of the exclusive type, meaning I cannot get off normally, i.e. without scat. I've learned to accept this somewhat, although I still dislike it, please do not judge, I didn't choose to be like this. I am 21 years old now, and have had times in the past when I have felt the same, I have no idea how I got past them before.
My incident: When I was 17, I was at a relatives house who had a family friend over. I do not remember who she was, only that she was somewhere between 12-14. There was a bathroom downstairs, and when I saw that she may have gone upstairs, I followed her and hid in the hallway, hoping I could hear something from the bathroom. I knew that the door didn't close all the way in this bathroom and even debated walking in on her 'on accident'. At the end of the incident, I do not even remember if she was even in the bathroom or not, and my memory of the whole incident is somewhat fuzzy, but what endures is my mindset from that event. I feel like a child molester, a rapist, a monster. I engaged in a predatory activity for the sole purpose of sexual gratification. I wish I knew who the girl was so I could apologize or do anything to make right my actions.
I have not done anything of the sort since then, but in my self-reflection, I remember events from when I was a younger kid when I would try to stand near the bathrooms at school to hear people. I feel awful that I would have done this. What is wrong with me? Why was I unable to control my urges?
Basically, these events and thoughts lead me to believe that I am of the category of a sex offender; someone who could not control their sexuality and valued it over the rights and lives of others. How could I do this? Do I deserve happiness? Do I even deserve to live? I don't think so. My parents, friends, family would all hate me if they found out about this.
​
If ERP is something that would help me. How would I go about exposure? Replaying the event in my head? Thats what I do already?!
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OCD
|
I'm not diagnosed with PTSD, but I have strong feelings that there's a POSSIBILITY ( I don't want to self-diagnose ) of me having it because I've been experiencing symptoms of it for YEARS. And when did they *slowly* start showing? After I was sexually assaulted as a child.
I wanted to ask my psychiatrist ( a few months ago ) if there's any chance of me having PTSD, but there's a small problem: I can't talk about it, like, I mean actual talking with my mouth. It's too painful for me. I tried to talk about that memory with my psychiatrist, but since I couldn't, I just told her "okie, so in short, I was sexually assaulted as a child by another girl and she was the same age as me" and she instantly was like
"are you sure it was sexual assault? Maybe she was just playing. You're really emotional and sensitive thanks to your Asperger's, so maybe you're just overreacting. If you were normal, it wouldn't be traumatic"
and I just.. I didn't dare to ask her if I could take like, a test or something so that I would finally know if I do have PTSD or not. But I plan on trying to ask her, again..!
|
ptsd
|
Is there someone with ADHD and high IQ? I have hyperbolic discounting, existential boredom, chronic boredom, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, RSI, cervicocranial syndrome, tinnitus, bedtime procrastination, procrastination, executive disfunctions, AS, neuroses, anxiety, stress, OEs, MDD, BPD, insomnia, OCD, philosophical OCD, existential feelings and like 30 mental disorders +- including emotional problems and what not...
I am soooooooooooo booooooooooooooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeed at this point!!! I visited like 1 milion sites to read about FW in 1 year... Now I Am so fuuuuuucking booooored out of my mind. Because my state, I can't do anything whole day: except watch TV shows, or play games (which I shouldn't do coz RSI!!!) but it doesn't entertain me more than watching a wall, I would almost rather watch a wall...
Problem is: only way I can escape suffering is to fully immerse myself in my work (when I experience unknown and pure beauty) and I Am in euphoric state and can forget. I Am not suicidal, that doesn't do anything... But I can't do anything whole day, this is literally killing me.
I Ammmmmmm sooooooooooo booooooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeeeeed that I listen even to 1 song 8 hours and I bedtime procrastinate: I defer going to bed 500 times. I need to read another article, watch other video, other song etc.... I read many about this, but nothing is really helpful to me. As I can't do anything intellectual because brutal headaches etc.... But that's literally only thing, which allows me to escape boredom. So it is catch22. I Am slowly dying by a second....
I will try existential psychotherapy yet, but still, it is so annoying boring everything, it is like choking and I choked to death nearly, I would rather experience this every 5 days, than this boredoooooom. It is torture! Like pulling fingernails! Or something. Maybe I would even prefer to die painfully, if I wasn't bored all the time! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM IS HELL!!!
PS: I Am more bored than prisoners in max, maybe even than in isolation, not sure!!!
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ADHD
|
Ughhhh. So I have a particular situation that’s causing me to have a lot of anxiety-related intrusive thoughts. What’s worse is idk if it’s even a logical worry or not.
But anyway, whenever this happens, I get some...mhmm...”tummy troubles” to put it nicely. My stomach hurts really bad, I can’t eat, and I get explosive diarrhea essentially. Sorry if that’s TMI.
Does this happen to anyone else or am I just weird? If so, has anyone found a good way to combat this?
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OCD
|
I just realised my ADHD probably in part is why for pretty much my whole life i've been a 'super fan' of certain musicians, by this i mean *very* obsessed. Spending hundreds on merch, watching every interview and listening to the same songs on repeat for months and then the obsession fading into another artist or creator.
I can sing word for word the entire discography of Paramore but i can't remember what i ate for dinner last night. I have an entire catalogue of songs in my head from these fixations.
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ADHD
|
I got out of the four-day Loop but now my brains telling me that I'm lying to myself does anybody else experience this as well?
|
OCD
|
OCD feels like you are riding in a car with someone and the driver turns the volume up on the radio, increasing it ever so slightly until you can't take the noise anymore. Im trying to turn the volume down.
|
OCD
|
Im suspecting that i have ADHD because I’ve been struggling with submitting my schoolworks on time since i started going to school. Im also prone to losing focus and interest in the things i do. As usual, im struggling with submitting my schoolworks again this year and im 3 weeks behind the deadline.
I swear I did everything. I foolishly took a gap year before this school year because I thought that I can change myself at the time. I was able to find some sense of direction by having clearer goals in life, but i primarily took it to make myself less lazy but I’ve barely made any progress on that. I even told myself that I’d just unalive myself a couple of times if I failed to do *insert task here* but I realize I value my life too much whenever i fail.
I already scheduled an assessment but the date is a few days after our grades get finalized. I dont want my grades to suffer because of my inability to pass schoolworks on time (the university im aiming for requires decent grades for admission) so i really need to get high grades especially because my grades in previous years have been mediocre and nearly failing even. How do I bring this up with my adviser and teachers? It seems like I’d look like yourtypical lazy highschool student who wants everything to come easy for him.
|
ADHD
|
This is obviously about me not having a girlfriend
I want one. Black girls are my type. Like the instagram models, edited as fck, must have emotional skills to fix my broken spirit. Interested girls please stay away, be smart.
I gotta go to this convention in like 3 hours. Haven't slept a thing. I feel miserable, unlovable and tired of presenting myself as the solution to all problems. Been doing real state marketing for a while now to the point that I can sell myself as the jack of all trades, the fix of all of your problems, broken inside and silently screaming for a love.
Not thinking of suicide yet. Too proud for that
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depression
|
The thing is the country i live in barely has a few therapy centres, and these ones are super expensive, although not a big fan of taking help or going for a counselling session there have been times i really cried to join. Coummunity stuff or joing some social groups is also not very popular here.
So any options besides therapy?
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OCD
|
It started in my teens with the divorce of my parents and it shook my world. Since then, every setback in life and the loss of many things that mattered to me have sucked the life out of me.
Today I often feel like there's no point in trying, because things will go wrong somehow, and I hate that feeling. Nothing really makes sense anymore and it's hard for me to genuinely enjoy doing things. But I am also at a point in life where I really want to change something and break this vicious cycle once and for all.
The question is: What really worked for you? How did you regain your *desire for doing things and moving forward*?
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depression
|
So I am 36 and a former mental health care worker. The trauma comes from being hit in the head by several patients over the roughly 9 years I was doing the job. My psych doctor has trouble diagnosing it and keeps it at a rule out diagnosis due to me not having flash backs or "revisioning symptoms". However my wife says that I kick and thrash in my sleep. I have trouble remembering due to memory issues as well.
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ptsd
|
I'm wondering what people here do to manage anxiety?
I'm normally an anxious person, but I've been going through some stuff recently and it's gone to a whole new level. I feel like I'm on edge 24/7 and when even the slightest thing happens my anxiety just spikes through the roof. I've tried distracting myself or breathing or meditating (which I'm terrible at) and nothing seems to be helping.
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aspergers
|
idk what to do anymore. i’m trying different grounding techniques, meditating, i’m using ptsd coach, i’m doing everything to get better. but it’s just making it worse. is this normal? i’m spiraling bc of the things i’m doing to get better and idk why. how do i deal with this? there’s no way i can get a therapist and i have so much going on besides this. my moms mental health is going to shit so i’m stressing over that, i’m working a new job, and i have SAT’s in less than a week. does anybody know how to deal with this? i don’t even want things to get better anymore i just need things to go back to before. before i tried helping myself, i could at least sometimes relax. now i can’t. somebody give advice please idk what to do.
|
ptsd
|
Hi everybody!
So I recently got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and I'm learning quite a lot about myself. I'm on my third medication after the first two had no affect on me, I now take 18mg of Concerta. I'm very lost in the whole ADHD process and I want to learn to manage it a little better. I still feel struggles with executive dysfunction, working memory, and just focusing on anything I legitimately have to do like my schoolwork but I have no trouble cleaning my entire house in extreme detail. What do I do where do I start? Does anyone have a story where generic medication worked for you? I hear the most success stories on Vyvanse but my insurance refuses to cover it. Any tips or suggestions would be great.
​
Thanks everyone <3
|
ADHD
|
Aaaah. Fuck. I decided it'd be a solid plan to go off my meds because side effects start to crush your soul after a while and of course, this means I fucked up. Because here's my OCD, kicking my ass one obsession at a time. Currently, I'm on a business trip and I left my dog with my mother in law. He's a puppy and I've only had him for about a month. She's got lots of property and adores him but she's a little older and is more used to raising working dogs for the farm and has "working dog" ways of raising. So now my brain is trying to sell me the thought about what if something happens. What if she tries one of the old "farm dog" techniques and something happens? And I'm panicking. I don't think it'd be anything she'd do on purpose but what if she doesn't know. Working dogs have so much free range and are fine all the time, what if she shrugs off something that's important. And then I start spiraling. And my compulsion is to Google to know everything ever about every dog disease ever discovered so that way I can ask her ten thousand questions and tell her what to do. So currently I'm avoiding Google and I'm going to try to get some sleep.
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OCD
|
Hi, I’m in dire need of some sort of help or affirmation as I’m new to this and practically giving up on getting treated, although I recognize how early I am into diagnosis.
So I sensed I had ADHD or something that hit the symptoms for it back when I was 14, however didn’t get it diagnosed because of how silly it seemed and how careless I thought my parents would have acted.
In high school, I did pretty well, crammed the night before and got A’s. It all started falling apart around grade 12, where I slacked off a lot, stopped caring too much about cramming, didn’t value what I’m studying so I didn’t study despite knowing that the topics are interesting and that at the end of the day I need to get a good grade to go to University.
I graduated with a pretty poor score (less than what parents and peers expected of me, and what my old self would’ve expected as well). However, I still got to my first choice barely and glad I was able to.
Now I’m almost turning 20. I got diagnosed for it back in July. (This is in Australia so I’m not sure if I’m right on this statement, correct me if I’m wrong), I tried all three stimulant medications available for the past couple of months.
We started with Vyvanse 20mg then moved to 40mg a day (this was before Second Semester of University started, so I couldn’t test it on education and concentration but it was helpful in decreasing my binging habits and with my working out routine I lost a good amount of weight in a month). Doctor switched me to 25mg a day of Dexedrine once the semester started, and while it woke me up from bed, it was practically useless. Then, the doctor suggested to take a break off the medications for two weeks, and I experienced insane fatigue and tiredness for that first week. Then, we tried 20mg of Ritalin LA, and that didn’t even help with my concentration, stimulation, or binging and only gave me mood swings and constant headaches.
Now I’m on 40mg Vyvanse and 10mg Dexedrine a day. And I have to say… IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.
It’s incredibly infuriating and sad tbh. It feels hopeless as I’ve tried every medication available, and i feel like in constant paralysis of just standing in the middle of the ocean knowing that a wave will suffocate me in a second, and I’m purposefully not doing anything about it. I’ve been submitting my assignments very late, and losing half of their grades. My hopes of doing medicine or astronomy or mechatronics are practically flailing away as I struggle with concentration and taking notes (never taken notes before I just memorized the info the night before).
I don’t know what to do, and need advice or just affirmation of some sort. Thank you 🥲
|
ADHD
|
Hello all , I’ll preface this whole thing with a brief history of my adhd diagnosis. At five yo my mother was told by our Dr. that I had the WORST case of adhd he had ever seen. My mother (wanting what’s best and this whole adhd thing was relatively new around 1993-94 when I was diagnosed) decided to allow the dr. to prescribe me Ritalin. I took the meds until I was aware of exactly what was happening to me in school and my mom asked if I would like to stop the meds. I did because I felt zombified every day in school. A shred of my “organic” personality.
I stopped the meds and began to get targeted by schools who either didn’t have protocol for kids like me or just bad teachers, I was kicked out of every single school after I had stopped the medication. Mostly it was for silly things like being to fidgety or talkative and it’s just the tenth strike and I get the boot.
After high school I sought out help from hopefully new meds on the market and tried the new version of Ritalin I’m forgetting the name atm but it’s generic form was labeled “amphetamine salts” Reading that label being a very paranoid person really set me up for disaster. I took the recommended dose and began FREAKING OUT. I felt like I was going to jump out of my own skin. I was riding passenger in my buddies car on the way to college and I had to make him stop and let me out to roll around in wet grass!!!
My question to any one out there who might understand my problem from personal experience would be has this ever happened to anyone else? Was it dosage or maybe diet that triggered the reaction? I read something posted here today about the feeling of relief after taking meds, like I can finally structure my life without just piles of to do lists all partially complete. I’m so tired guys, I just want to order my mind and life like everyone around me seems to do effortlessly but I am so scared of Willy nilly drs prescribing me basically ******** to call me down. I’m very weary to the motivations of most doctors. Should I get on meds again? Maybe some alternatives ? Idk not sure if this is too much of a rant for this platform I’m sorry if It is I just found it today, read one post and almost cried honestly because it’s what I have been privately battling for a LONG time now as I am turning 33 in January. Thanks
|
ADHD
|
I'm here seeking peers and kin.
I've been "diagnosed" by pretty much everyone who has ever known me. I've tested my AQ as honestly as I could and my AQ/IQ say I'm in the right place. At 45 years of feeling and being treated like an alien, I think I finally know where I belong. I am currently seeking a professional to officially diagnose me. In the meantime, I'd like to know if the undiagnosed are welcome here.
Maybe that sounds odd but I don't want to participate under the mask of having a mask - I consider myself the best liar I know because almost everything people know about me has been mimicked, borrowed, or outright stolen. If I'm actually on the spectrum then I imagine you'll understand what I mean.
I need help. I need people who might understand. I need to see that others experience the things I do.
I CAN HAZ FRIENDZ?
|
aspergers
|
Does autism develop differently in girls compared to guys? I noticed the only people I have met in my life who were autistic were all guys I never met a girl who was autistic. What is the difference between a girl and a guy with autism? I read a post somewhere on Reddit that women/girls with autism are more undiagnosed than men/guys.
|
aspergers
|
What has to happen to a person to make them have OCD levels of guilt and shame whereby they want to die? Like is this caused by trauma wtf.
|
OCD
|
It's about 3am right now and i feel distant from everyone here because my family doesn't understand ptsd and they are of the mind that its a throwaway term,, whatever that means? gaslighting at its best i suppose. :/ what do you do to cope/for support?
|
ptsd
|
This month has been super hectic, and I'm usually really bad about letting things slip through the cracks. I've made a habit of putting EVERYTHING into Google Calendar--
Movers and cleaners coming? Calendar. Guy coming to measure for blinds? Calendar. Friend wants to hang out next weekend? Calendar. Bought concert tickets? Calendar.
I can set reminders a week, a day, and an hour beforehand. Helps me manage my time so much better. I just have to put it in AS SOON as I schedule it otherwise I'll completely forget.
|
ADHD
|
I feel like I wake up at least 1/2 dozen times per night. When my husband walks past the A/C register, and I’m still “asleep”, I instantly wake up as if there’s an intruder in the house.
It’s the difference in air exchange or pressure. How is that such an easy trigger?
I get if someone were to knock on the door, but an air register? Geez Louise.
|
ptsd
|
Lately I've been realizing the extent of black & white thinking, especially when it comes to people. I always put other people's feelings about me in terms of "does like me" or "doesn't like me" with no room for a middle ground or allowing people's feelings to change over time.
Of course there are other, non-social ways, that B&W thinking occurs but I think I've dealt with most of that at this point. Any tips for dealing with it in the social realm?
|
aspergers
|
frequent lurker of this sub, and want to share my experience/ask a question.
I’ve never been diagnosed, however I’ve had OCD since 2012/2013 (I was 16-17). Mine started out with intrusive thoughts, and then came the rituals. My goal of this post isn’t to get too much into it, but it used to control my every-day life, it was exhausting and borderline unmanageable. Anyway, one day back in 2017, i was triggered and of course had to do my “ritual”, however, I decided to tell myself I wasn’t going to do it and I didn’t, and ever since then my OCD has became manageable (that moment really was a true breakthrough as it took a lot of energy (mentally) to be able to resist the urge, which had a major impact on my OCD) It’s still there, and I still have to do things to make myself feel better, but it’s no longer an all day affair. I would say at it’s peak it was almost every task during my day had at least one ritual, and today, while the “if you don’t do x, this will happen” thoughts are still there, it no longer controls my entire day, and I’m content, although I still complete rituals daily. I don’t want to seek medication as I like who I am and don’t want to possibly alter my personality or something similar.
Anyway, my question is, how do you define the “obsessive” part of OCD? If you have an obsessive personality (maybe you’re obsessed with playing video games/drinking/relationships etc) is that correlated to the “obsessive” part of OCD, or something completely different?
Thanks.
|
OCD
|
Hello ADHD friends! I'm currently in treatment for my ADHD with a therapist and medication. I've experimented with both and I feel like I have found a pretty good fit for the time being. However, I have horrible anxiety (which I am also working on) that is of course exacerbated by the medication.
Although the meds help me to stay focused and make saying "no" to myself easier when I want to neglect my responsibilities, it feels like I still have a pretty low stress threshold, so when I have a lot to do (as I always do!) my brain kinda goes fuzzy and I have trouble with reading comprehension and retention as well as getting my thoughts out verbally. I haven't had this issue yet with my medicine but I've been going through an extremely stressful period of my life where I am constantly busy and anxious.
I had gotten better about procrastination as well, but now that I'm stressed I've been purposefully procrastinating so I'd be forced to get things done, but now my brain is fuzzy and I can't get it done anyway! I have a final due in 45 minutes and I'm procrastinating finishing it because trying to comprehend the reading and write responses in my own words is becoming anxiety inducing and physically painful.
I'm unsure of what to do at this point. I've been trying everything I can to cope and gently coax my brain to work somehow, but to no avail. Please let me know if anyone else has experienced this and you have any potential solutions. Thank you friends <3
edit: PS. wish me luck on this assignment that I just ~~wasted~~ *utilized* time writing this instead of doing!
**TL;DR: At a good dosage of meds, but anxiety (both general and from meds) make my brain fuzzy and critical thinking and comprehension physically and emotionally painful. Seeking solutions and/or solidarity <3**
|
ADHD
|
Hi Readers,
I felt like venting my thoughts and wanted to hear some insights. I like trying to understand myself better psychologically and felt like a board where people constantly interpret emotions would be the best place to start.
I've felt quite unhappy for a long time, but I feel like I don't have a reason to be unhappy. I'm blessed to have good grades, a good incoming internship, a loving family, a couple of solid friends/friend groups, etc.
However, I just can't help but feel extremely unhappy. I've felt this feeling for more than a year now to the point it's normalized. It feels like a switch between a sad unhappy and a frustrated unhappy. I think I do a good job at acting normal and keeping conversations but I'm just not interested in my loved ones and pretty easily irritated (granted I never show it). I feel like I'm secretly taking them for granted.
Hanging around my Family this Thanksgiving, I wanted to distance myself away from them. The time I spent with them would be considered meaningful. We bonded as a family and did a lot together but it felt so utterly pointless and a waste of time. However; I felt, to a certain extent, that I was carrying the meaningfulness of a lot of the activities. I was the one adding meaning and they couldn't provide back the same level of interest. I actually left early, back to my apt, because I genuinely didn't think I could stand talking to them at home. I made up a bullshit excuse that I had a lot of work to do for school with finals coming up and straight dodged them.
It angers me because they're good people and my family. I don't deserve to treat them like that but I just can't stand them, they give me a sense of helplessness.
I'm also curious if these are signs of depression, I've noticed that it's been really hard for me to keep my sleep schedule, and my weight has been everywhere for a while. Some symptoms I've just seen off google in relation to depression.
​
Best,
OP
|
depression
|
Growing up I always used to take super hot baths and enjoyed it. Now as a young adult I take super hot showers and enjoy it a lot despite my family thinking I will “burn my skin off” even though they provide no evidence this can occur. Although they do make me very itchy sometimes. Does anyone else take hot showers?
|
aspergers
|
If so, how? My germaphobia has drastically gotten worse, and my intrusive thoughts are just always a roller coaster of magnitude - always changing.
|
OCD
|
Do anyone elses thoughts race so fast that it creates confusion?
Sometimes when my thoughts race so bad, or i get quick deja vu moments, i get confused for a second or two trying to sort it out in my head. Anyone else deal with this?
Such a scary experience.
|
OCD
|
People make mistakes. People lie, and hide things, and hurt your feelings. You’re supposed to forgive them and to move on, and life goes back to normal. Except that I just can’t do it. Establishing trust is difficult for me in the first place after my incident. And after that trust has been broken, even if it’s just by a minor accident, I just cannot trust that person again. What if they keep hurting me, and taking advantage of me, and use my forgiveness to their own advantage, like last time? What if I get put in a situation again that I can’t recover from, like last time? What if I give them everything I have only to have it taken from me, like last time. It just isn’t worth it. I’m too afraid to go through what I did again. I cannot regain trust after being lied to by a person that I had worked so hard to trust in the first place, I just cannot risk making the same mistakes again. I’d rather be dead and alone than to even slightly risk the possibility of having to deal with what happened to me again.
|
ptsd
|
I have worked 1 week in advance for this driving test, sadly I failed. By 1 mark (80% to pass and I got 78%). My friends had been telling me all day how easy it was and how I would not fail, but eagerness got over me and I was not able to pass. I had no patience and I rushed the test. I want to die.
My dad is disappointed and won’t even look at me and I’m lying to everyone as if I’ve passed the test. I can’t even get out of my bed. I feel as though I’m worthless and won’t amount to anything.
|
depression
|
so was this stupid or what okay in the moment i had a intrusive thought about harming my mother which i would never do but in the moment i was like if i ever harm my mother i do something to myself now it’s giving my anxiety because i don’t want to harm myself or her
|
OCD
|
I have it myself but I've never joined any forums or really spoken to people who have it en masse before. I guess I'm interested to see how many share the same experiences as me. I know there's different types of ADHD, but I'm wondering what the common connections other than the media and medical portrayal of "hyperfocus" and "fidgeting" etc.
1. Do you come up with ideas for a multitude of things? Even when sat down chilling, you might be watching TV, see a problem and think "Why isn't it done like this instead?
2. Are you creative in a multitude of ways? You've built the most complex house on The Sims, or you've written a piece of music, or picked up an instrument and learned it faster than most would?
3. Do you ever get a song stuck in your head so badly, that it leaves you awake for hours on end?
4. Would you be considered the "Life and soul of the party?".
5. How often do people tell you that you're different, but not in a bad way, in a positive light?
|
ADHD
|
As a gay aspie I find it hard to make dates, I get super super nervous, I have grinder but I am so scared too meet any one is it worth even finding a boyfriend, how does other gay aspies deal with this issue?
|
aspergers
|
Do you think being on concerta whilst working out isn't ideal. I'm not asking for professional advice just your own personal experience.
When I'm using concerta I feel like I'm out of breath quicker whilst my chest is beating harder than when I typically don't use it.
I get ritalin is shorter lasting which you can take later in the day after working out where as concerta if I don't take by specific time will keep me up later.
How would you describe ritalins effects is it rushy when it starts to work? I think it would overwhelming if you have to go through this multiple times a day.
Thanks for help ☺
|
ADHD
|
Hey all. I'm having a really rough morning so I created a new account so I'm able to discuss my mental health in private. Sorry for the empty account.
I'm struggling with thoughts of suicide lately, but especially today. I suffer from suicidal ideation so this isn't that unusual for me, but it's been hyped into overdrive with all the additional stress of COVID-19. I'm having trouble finding support form my friends and family since everyone I know is struggling with their own issues lately.
I'm looking for support. I'll take any suggestions anyone has, or I'd appreciate having someone to talk to.
Thanks <3
|
ptsd
|
Me and my s/o are in Highschool. It's a long distance relationship but we tried out best to keep things working.
This morning they said they wanted to "be a dumb teenager" and go kiss people and try in person relationships. They don't want to break up, just not be tied down.
I get it but I've never felt so alone. They told me it was okay if I dated someone and did what they were doing, but I hate being social, I don't want to go date people it's too stressful
I wish I didn't wake up honestly, not have to worry about this right now
|
depression
|
I don't know if I have OCD. I honestly don't know. So my friend watches these videos on YouTube and she watched one of them for about two minutes and then decided I don't have OCD. I never said I did, I never even talked to them about my "habits" and because she saw me do one thing, she watch a TedEd video then she decided I didn't have it. What is it with people wanting to give you a specific label? Shoving you into a box just to make them feel like they've done something? It doesn't help me. The knowing doesn't help me in any way. I need to just ignore it. I relate to so many things on this sub but I don't know what the tag would do for me. What would knowing what I have do for me? I really just want to ignore all my problems until they go away. I don't have money for therapy and I hypothetically have like seven other mental illnesses and mother doesn't have the money for that and there are four other kids in the house so I can't be selfish so I don't know. I'm just ranting.
|
OCD
|
Recently, I've been diagnosed with PTSD, twice, by two different social workers. I finally left my abusive household. I've learned a lot about trauma. I'm finally moving forward and creating the life I want to live.
But I still don't feel anything.
I wasn't expecting intense emotional changes (or any at all, really), but...
You know, I'm not even sure if I'm asking a question. I just want to know what it's like to actually feel good after accomplishing something. I want to feel something other than stress, excitement, anxiety, or the absence of all three.
I want to actually live a life. Somehow, without really feeling much emotion-wise, it's like I'm still viewing life through a window — I just have more control. That's all.
|
ptsd
|
Ive seen a lot of posts about people struggling with AS and how they feel alone or isolated. Listen to me, keep on pushing. It sucks, not gonna lie to you, but you have to keep going. Dont quit. I promise you, when you finally find your happiness, its so freeing. I got into a argument with my friends to the point I deleted everything. No contact with anyone. During this time i fell in love with myself. I told myself its okay to be different and if people cant accept that, fuck them. They cant judge. The one person who was always there for me was me. When i was lonely and crying by myself, i told myself it was okay, and that one day we wont feel like this. Fall in love with yourself and discover what truly makes you happy and pursue it to the ends of the earth. I wish i could make yall feel what i felt that time. Im sorry that we even have to go through things like this, but when no one else loves you, let you love you. Acknowledge that you’re gonna fuck up and make mistakes. Thats okay, its how we learn, just try not to repeat them. You dont need people, you just need you. You’re all beautiful in your own way, and dont let a single motherfucker tell you different. Whatever you’re going through, i believe that you will conquer it and see it through. I believe in all of you.
|
aspergers
|
Potential TW
It's once again 3am and I can't sleep. I keep having intrusive thoughts and memories playing in my head of when my abuser would strip me, tie me down and leave me there. The intrusive thoughts haven't extended to what usually happened after getting tied up, which I'm grateful for, but it's left me on edge all day and every time I get close to falling asleep it happens again and I just can't. I've been sensitive to things touching my wrists, ankles, and neck all day and it just feels like another dent in my progress after the rough couple weeks I've had. I'm tired of this. I want to be normal. I want this to stop.
|
ptsd
|
i’m smoking in a little park of my town, I have no one ti talk with, my friends left me, I don’t want to be be here.
Send things to cheer up please
|
depression
|
My brain tells me my awkwardness is even hurting others when I speak with them. I have to talk to people a lot with my job and it makes it really fucking hard to constantly be doing the next thing while trying to reassure myself I’m not a goddamn nightmare to speak with.
|
OCD
|
i have severe chronic depression like i haven’t been genuinely happy since 5th grade. i’ve been on zoloft for over a year, my dose is 150mg. it doesn’t work, it makes me feel so extremely numb and on the days i forget to take it i feel really sad and i just end up crying a lot. i think it helps with my anxiety but that might just be cause i dropped out of school idk.
i want to finally switch meds. until now i haven’t had the motivation to try different meds so i just stayed on zoloft. also i got shitty side effects like nausea and dizziness which haven’t even gone away just lessened so i’m not looking forward to going through brand new intense side effects but oh well.
anyway my problem is there are literally so many antidepressants and i have no idea where to start it can be really overwhelming. i know meds are different for everyone but i could still use suggestions on what to try first.
for reference i also have anxiety, trouble sleeping (probably insomnia) and adhd which i’m on 36mg ritalin for, can’t tell if it works or not but i’m on it nevertheless.
tia!
|
depression
|
I've become apathetic, but not numb. I'm not 'depressed' however I'm very white/black minded. It's either this or that. I tend to not understand others. I'm irritable and I'm starting to dislike noise. My view on love and affection is very blank. I don't think I've "felt" genuine love for another in a while. I'm kinda just existing, but not enjoying, life. I'm very disconnected but don't overthink. I miss my quirks. My excitability. It comes back when I use CBD/Delta. I think I'm gonna start using that alongside psychotherapy. It's time to change things if I want to life a fulfilled life because right now I feel like an animal.
|
depression
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD when i was young. I’m forgetful, have trouble focusing on a task, easily distracted, have difficulties retaining information from things i’ve read, and the list goes on. Of all of the difficulties i’ve had to live with day to day, the most problematic for me was my anger management, or lack there of. Growing up i was a happy person, but anger was a very strong emotion for me. Best described as a kettle boiling over. I don’t remember ever going from 0-100 in a flash, my level of anger would climb as the situation continued. Definitely quicker sometimes than others, but there was always a climb. As i grew up and matured, i was aware this was not okay and that i needed to work on it. Over time, i learned to catch myself before i let the “kettle” boil over. I got better at letting things go. Obviously there has been the odd situation that got away from me still. I’m not perfect. But overall, i’d say i had things more or less under control. So much so that my wife, that i’ve been together with for over 4 years, hasn’t seen anything even remotely close to my full potential and it’s never been directed at her. Obviously i’ve talked with her about it, but I take pride in the fact that she truely has no idea, and hopefully never will.
This year i became a Dad. Life is good. Love this kid more than i ever thought possible. But something about him crying, or not taking a bottle, or the “pick me up, no put me down, but don’t put me down”…. It’s not a kettle. In those situations, it’s a hair light trigger. I don’t know what it is, but something about a baby screaming, or being difficult just immediately gets my blood boiling. I think horrible impulsive things, none of which i’ve acted on. The worst i’ve done was raise my voice to him, which i immediately regretted. I raised my voice to a 7 month old baby, who does that!? … I’ve done things like put him down in his crib and leave him crying so i can take a second to bring myself back down. I constantly have classical music playing which i find helps. I’ve done breathing exercises to calm down. But this is not okay. It scares me and i need to resolve it.
Any advise? Can anyone relate and what are things you do to help keep calm and cool? I know everyone’s going to mention medications and therapy. I was on meds through out high school and would like to avoid it. I did not feel okay while taking them and ended up going off of them. I’ve been able to manage this on my own up until now, i would like to try and get a handle on this myself before i jump onto meds. As for therapy, i’m not against it. Just wanting to explore all avenues.
|
ADHD
|
Usually it takes me like an hour to fall asleep but these past 2 months its been taking me like 2-3. I have been under more stress these past 2 months and I guess I gave into the thoughts a few times but now its created a routine of doing that every single night.
Basically right before bed my mind starts wandering and I randomly pick up little hints of really old and kinda insignificant memories from my childhood. Im 22 now and most of the memories come from like age 8-18 or whatever.
I'll instinctively focus on the memory and then my brain will just try to 100% relive and recrate that memory and I can't sleep anymore. If I bop that memory away another one will take its place within a few seconds.
How fix
|
ADHD
|
When people say:
Do you mind if I take this chair?
I always reply:
No
Because I don’t mind if they take the chair.I have no problem.If I say yes that means that I mind if they take the chair so why everyone is saying yes but meaning no.
I hope you understand what am trying to say
|
aspergers
|
Before being diagnosed with ADHD I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My doctor prescribed me with lexapro, which ended up being a horrible experience. Made me extremely depressed.
Now, my doctor tells me that she already assumed I had ADHD at our first appointment, but wanted to get a handle on the depression and anxiety first. We did a diagnostic test and I do in fact have ADHD.
She’s decided that I should try Wellbutrin, as it has shown in research to be helpful with both anxiety/depression and ADHD. My Doctor says she wants to keep me away from stimulants as they can become “addictive”.
I am realizing now after countless hours of research that my anxiety/depression has accumulated due to my ADHD, and I’m concerned that putting me on antidepressants (again) might not be the answer.
Has anyone here tried Wellbutrin? What was your experience?
|
ADHD
|
I'm going to the doctor today, after my therapist suggested that I consider meds to get through the particularly tough period that I'm going through right now. I've taken meds before for a depressive episode, but this time I'm seeking medication for my PTSD symptoms that have become overwhelming and I'm struggling to cope day to day. It feels a little bit like I'm going backwards after being in therapy and taking really good care of myself for almost three years now. I'm really scared that going to my gp and explaining things is going to be really triggering for me, and I'm worried that going onto meds is going to make things a lot worse before they can possibly help. Does anyone have any advice on getting through this appointment? Thanks so much, this thread keeps me hopeful every day.
|
ptsd
|
and everybodys running
you've sprained your ankle
oh look, your friends are out of sight now
run run run
you don't want to
better find the starting gun and shoot yourself
|
depression
|
I’ve been Covid conscious throughout the entirety of quarantine. I just graduated (2020) into an industry that doesn’t exist right now (theatre) and I have zero job prospects. That isn’t the issue as I have a summer job lined up, but I am finding myself having a huge issue with those who don’t care about Covid at all. And blatantly. I am coming to terms with finding out good friends from college and high school have vastly differing and bigoted political views. I am watching my old children’s theatres (places that hold a spot in my heart) perform maskless shows completely devoid of Covid protocols...all posted on social media. It’s disheartening. Y’all one girl on my feed is starting an Autism awareness non profit and she’s not even autistic (she’s a parent) and it’s just another Autism $peaks at this point. (“We have a group of people with autism working with our organization who wish to remain anonymous”). They just had a party of a fundraiser. Not a mask in sight. The cherry on top was the video of some old friends at a crowded bar the other night. It’s incredibly frustrating to watch these people risk the lives of the people around me and I am becoming increasingly obsessed with it, but at the same time I don’t know what to do about it - I can’t really do anything about it - so I just get more frustrated. I’m not going to comment or anything, so there’s nothing to do. My Facebook timeline leans negative and that’s not who I am. This is a rant at this point. I’m watching my Facebook friends count go down gradually and I’m just considering doing a full purge at this point. Tonight I was about to go to sleep and I saw something that again upset me and here I am, looking up names I haven’t seen in a while to see who’s blocked/unfriended me. When someone blocks me I feel grossly seen. Like, I’m not harassing you with my posts, if you don’t like them, just unfriend me. I would get rid of my Facebook but I have a lot of useful groups that I rely on, and most of the work I’m doing currently relies on these groups.
I’m not really looking for advice, just others on the same brain wave to commiserate with. I’m excited for the vaccine and to hopefully get mine as soon as it‘s my turn, but that won’t be for a few months probably.
|
aspergers
|
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