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I was harassed at school leading me to develop sexual ocd with my other types, fastfoward when I was 19 I had a psychiatrist who was what now i see was unprofessional. They would talk about themselves and we would have regular conversations, this led to me having intrusive thoughts about them it got so bad to where I would think i wanted the intrusive thoughts to happen I would even dress up nice and I get happy when they would compliment me. Sometimes I would think something is really wrong with I should tell them but I didn’t I would just say “Im depressed and feel weird” then ask if my medicine could be raised higher. They would tell me it’s nothing wrong with me but that they would raise it if I felt it needed to be. Now at 22 I have a fear of therapists and psychiatrists because im afraid of getting those thoughts again. I also wonder if it’s mostly my fault and I should’ve told them or if they could’ve did their job better then I wouldn’t have felt like that in the first place.
|
OCD
|
Basically, was hanging out with some friends and one of them started talking about her friend who works in an SVU unit. She started talking about the horrible things that people go through and started talking about childhood sexual abuse. She almost word for word said that anyone who experiences childhood trauma will grow up to be fucked up and either be a drug addict or a child molestor themselves.
She usually doesn’t say ignorant things like that. But she also knows that I was sexually abused as a child. I feel like she doesn’t even remember/realize what she was saying cause I only told her about what I went through once and it was a while ago...but still it bothered me a lot bc of my past and I’m not an addict or a fucking molestor. I found it upsetting that she would negatively generalize a group of people like that....especially when those people obviously didn’t choose to experience what they did, or enjoy it? And every person who experiences childhood trauma does not end up becoming molestors themselves?
I just needed to vent somewhere thank you if you read this.
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ptsd
|
I read that people with Asperger's tend to be hypersexual or have sexual fantasies more often than the general population. I know that I struggle with this. I am a gay male and I am attracted to young men in their teens, twenties, and thirties. I am strictly attracted to their looks. Every young male that I see whether it is a celebrity, someone in public, or someone I know, I can't help but have a sexual fantasy about that person. It doesn't matter whether the guy is gay or straight, I like what I like and I can't help that.
I have struggled with this ever since I was 13 when I first went through puberty. Any characteristics, personalities, or talents of a young man get overshadowed and overlooked by me over his looks. All the times that I have tried to make friends it has been with guys that I find attractive. I would never act on these thoughts, but I can't help to think about them. For most people, it is more than just looks and sex.
People can be attracted to status, character, or personality. At least that is true for women. Men tend to be more visual and sexual, but they also can go beyond looks and see the inner beauty in someone. It is hard for me to go beyond looks when I find someone attractive. This is one of many reasons why I couldn't do relationships. I am too sex focused and I don't know how to change that. Even if I was straight I would be the exact same way. Whether you are gay or straight, do you have sexual fantasies about every person that you find attractive?
[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29398933/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29398933/)
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aspergers
|
Hey, I’m fairly new here. But honestly, I made this Reddit specifically to be in here.
I seriously think I have ADD or ADHD, or something. I really think it’s one of those two things, but I don’t wanna be that annoying self-diagnosing person that everyone hates. All I know is that something is wrong with me.
I have insurance, I just don’t even know where to begin on seeing someone about this. So I see a normal family doctor first? Or should I just make an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist/specialist right away? I’m not sure if I need a referral for that kind of thing.
Honestly, I was just going to brush it aside and try to let it go at first. But now, my lack of ability to self-motivate and self-initiate is really taking a toll on my every day life. I physically can’t even let myself sit down sometimes, or else I know I won’t be getting back up, therefore I won’t get anything done. I can’t even be relax when I’m putting aside my daily tasks, because The anxiety I get from not completing those tasks just eats away at me.
I’m a bartender, so I work nights (starting at 4pm). Every single day I wake up, I just sit there and bask in the dread of having to work later. I can’t bring myself to do anything, because I feel as though it’s pointless since I have to work later in the day.
I also have literally zero attention span. If I’m watching TV, it has to be 30 minute episodes because I literally cannot pay attention to full hour long ones. I get bored so easily to the point where I’m napping 1-2 times every single day, just to pass the time.
At first I thought I was just lazy. But then I started to read up on this, and I realized that a lot of other symptoms I’m having are pointing in this direction. And I’m pretty sure both of my brothers have it, so I’m not sure if it’s genetic?
I guess this post was just me kind of venting, but also asking where exactly I begin this whole process of seeing someone and possibly getting medicated? Thanks in advance.
|
ADHD
|
Fuck, Im starting to feel like that again. The same feeling I had when I decided to kill myself. I failed once before, but what if I decide to try again? Im honestly scared.
|
depression
|
I have suspected for a while that I have issues such as OCD, BPD, ADHD, PTSD, and I know I have severe depression and anxiety. I also have severe gender dysphoria. I am seeing a counselor at my university and she is definitely not allowed to diagnose anything but she agrees with my suspicions and encouraged me to see a psychiatrist about it. I saw a psychiatrist and he refuses to diagnose me with anything and won’t even say the word diagnosis, instead he says it’s not his job and I should see a psychologist instead. I wonder why his business has less than two stars.
My city only has two psychiatrists and I cannot drive so I do not have the ability to go elsewhere. I can’t get into the other psychiatrist and I’ve been attempting to get an appointment for three months. I should’ve been suspicious when I could get into my current psychiatrist within a week. He is giving me adderall, Zoloft, buspar (originally he didn’t give me this it was actually a rehab I went to after a suicide attempt that prescribed this), and some anti-psychotic. Every time I mention my anxiety not getting better he just changes my anti-psychotic. Once again I have not been diagnosed with anything that would warrant an anti-psychotic. In one session I tried speaking about my gender dysphoria and he shut me down saying it’s not relevant to my treatment.
Currently my suspected OCD is really fucking with my life. I cannot a stand food waste and dishes and I find myself completely unable to do them so I let them stack up and think about it all the time until I break down about it. One of my bowls got chipped and I had a panic attack and my mom who had come over to help me deal with the kitchen mess that was causing panic attacks. She had to talk me down from throwing away my whole dish set and purchasing another. I have to check the door to make sure it’s locked multiple times a day despite not leaving my apartment that day. If my cat is out of sight I have to find her and continuously check on her. My roommate was moving out and her mom was helping her clean and they kept touching my stuff, doing my dishes and I was having panic attacks over it. Her mom even came into my room to tell me that I need to do better about cleaning the apartment and that depression isn’t an excuse because she’s bipolar and used to own a cleaning business. I’m in my 20s. If I rip the page of a book I have to buy a new copy. All the books in a series have to match. If I’m taking notes it has to be in pen and if I make a mistake it has to be completely redone. All of this takes up so much time in my life whether I’m actually trying to take care of the issues or I’m just spending time thinking about it. I also have awful awful intrusive thoughts that I would rather not think about and I don’t know how to handle them.
I’m really looking to rant and get suggestions to help deal with the symptoms while I seek professional treatment. I wish i could talk to my counselor about all this but I can’t see her again until the semester begins.
|
OCD
|
Almost two years since I've had sex.
Almost two years since I've had my own place.
Six years since I wasn't in constant pain.
Five years since I was happy.
Almost two years since I've even had a kiss.
Over a year since I've been able to hangout with someone.
Needed to vent; I hate my life.
|
aspergers
|
At least for me, when I get in "the zone" (being 100% focused on something), it feels pretty amazing. And it can happen with anything, really; listening to music, making art, solving a complicated work project, gaming, exploring a new hobby or diving deep into a random-ass topic (important hyphen) on Wikipedia. Focusing on something engaging and stimulating feels very rewarding, the only problem is that trying to direct what I focus on often feels like I'm chasing after a greased-up puppy. But those rare moments where you're feeling motivated, and your interest is being held captive by whatever thing you're doing, those moments feel pretty damn good.
|
ADHD
|
My home is my safe haven - I don't let anyone in other than myself or my husband. In the event my parents do come over for any reason, they have to remove their shoes on a towel and wash their hands before touching/doing anything else. And then I do a light cleanup after they leave. Under no circumstances is anyone allowed to use our bathrooms - my husband and I even use two separate bathrooms.
But when I make friends, it's always kind of awkward saying, "Yeah, by the way, we can hang, just not at my place. I have OCD and that's really hard for me, thanks for understanding." I've had OCD for so long that I'm a lot more comfortable standing my grand about my mental condition (as it is considered a disability!) and everyone acts understanding (I mean, they'd be kind of in the wrong for any rebuttal against such a statement), but it's still awkward.
How do you guys deal with this one?
|
OCD
|
Hi. So I've come to a realization that I'm pretty positive my child has ADD. His father won't hear it. I need some advice on what books I should read or websites to visit. I'd like to learn how to communicate with my child so he can understand and listen easier when it comes to school and home life. This reddit group was my first step. All tips appreciated on where to go from here!!
|
ADHD
|
As a kid I wore my hair in a ponytail until I was like 12. My hair is very thick and wavy but extremely hard to handle. I’ve tried for a full year and it’s still puffy and just too big. As a I kid I always thought everyone found me hideous but they most likely just thought I was weird with my undiagnosed ADD. However, I still see my face as something to cover up because of it.
I finally embraced putting it in a quick bun and kind of liked it. It’s really nice to not have my hair down in my face to hide away my “ugliness.” Getting on meds was part of the reason I’m finally confident stepping out of my comfort zone.
Today we are having a family birthday. I put it up because I washed my hair today and I looked like Hagrid.
Then my grandpa feels the need the need to tell me “I like your hair better down,” with this cheeky smile like it’s a quirky thing to say. I bit my tongue to not say “I like you better sober.”
Even on meds right now, the pain of the criticism spread all the way out to my fingertips and my eyes began hurting.
I went to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and decided I look just fine. Took a deep breath to not cry.
My WHOLE life I’ve been told “get that thick hair out of your face.” A full decade actually.
It’s so frustrating to be constantly told how to look by “normal” people and when you finally do, it’s still not good enough.
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ADHD
|
Have been strongly contemplating switching my provider, and I see that there are several online services that claiming to be for a range of things, including ADHD. Here’s the thing: there’s no way they can prescribe meds that are controlled substances, so that gives me pause immediately. Anyway, to get to the point, has anyone used these services? Which one? How does and/or did it work for you?
|
ADHD
|
Tw for abusive relationships and (I guess?) sexual assault.
I have really no clue how to classify this trauma. It feels wrong and shallow to call it sexual assault, like I'm disrespecting people who were I guess 'properly' assaulted. But I have no other way of quantifying it?
My abusive ex girlfriend had a rape fetish. I was a little weirded out when she first told me and didn't really know how to react. We were also 16 at the time, so I wasn't anywhere near mature enough to unpack the situation. But the point is she used to guilt me and insult me and essentially force me to... I guess (consenually) rape her? I was uncomfortable, so fucking uncomfortable with it. I told her repeatedly I wasn't comfortable. But she'd beg me and threaten me and I loved her so much I wanted to do what she wanted. I tried to back out sometimes halfway and she'd lost her shit and call me a liar and say I was judging her and betraying her and that she was so tired of dealing with people who wouldn't stand by her. She'd get so angry that she'd scare me and I'd apologize and offer to continue.
There isn't really much of a point to this post, this is something I've carried for almost a decade now and I have never told anyone. Was I sexually assaulted? It feels like I wasnt bc of the context of the situation (me 'raping' her) but it feels like I was bc I told her no and she didn't listen. It's awful, I have ptsd due to the relationship as a whole but I have no clue how to even begin to address this facet of it.
|
ptsd
|
When I hear about Groinal response in ocd , people talk all the Time about erection but nobody talk about this ,it is groinal response ?
I suffer from Hocd, Pocd mainly and I had burning feeling/horny in my Dick like I'm going to ejaculate..
I had sometimes Lubrication of penis, Sensation in ass , half soft near a child ..
My question is : This could be groinal response ?
|
OCD
|
In 2012 I killed a 19 kid named Christopher in a drunk driving hit and run accident. After a nine months time in county jail I was given a 2.5 year sentence for leaving the scene of an accident involving death or serious injury. I’ve told the story a thousand times, so i guess this is just another tale. Tonight though as I drank yet another beer with co-workers, this time at the bar across from the restaurant that i work at, I told my story to yet another stranger. This time though he was the bar-back/friend of a fellow co-worker who happened to also be a cop.
He made me realize that I shouldn’t be afraid of my story. Of my past, or the things that I’ve done.
I’ve done a lot of bad things, and every day I think about them. It’s so hard trying to be a good person when you know you’ve done bad things. I feel so guilty every day that I’m alive.
Why was I chosen to live? Why did I, who is a pacifist since the age of 12, come to a point in my life where i killed a man? I never stop thinking about him .
That moment. I’m such a piece of shit. When I was locked up this young ass guy in a wheelchair, who became handicapped in prison, told me ‘everything happens for a reason and that someday my story might save someone’s life’.
I think about that everyday.
His words to this day echo in my head... but that cop, gave me a cigarette and told me next time I come in, the beers on him. Shit like that means so much. Not like I care about the booze, it’s more the fact that I told him my story and he didn’t just throw me to the fire so many others.
Recently though, just before quarantine, I lost all my fiends and started therapy for the third time in the last year and a half.
Every day a battle.
No only you gets to decide your outcome.
(Sorry this might be more of a rant, but I struggle with pain everyday for the things that I’ve done and I don’t know what to do anymore.)
|
ptsd
|
I posted this in a different community, but I'm curious so... Am I allowed to be completely repelled by people who claim to have multiple mental health issues, but are self diagnosed and refuse to go to the dr?
|
OCD
|
The [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ngep36/she_said_no/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I made saying my doctor quit and his replacement took me off my script I got 900 upvotes I got everyone telling me to sue we even came up with a 7 page document with all the best research on substance abuse and ADHD.
I’m back on drugs! Yay me.
I don’t care what the hell it takes I’m going to get off this bullshit government insurance that doesn’t care about people who are at risk of dying because of stupid policies that give them the ability to take me off medication for no reason that is justified
|
ADHD
|
Hello all,
I started Adderall(generic) instant release 3 days ago for ADHD. Previously I was taking Wellbutrin XL which worked great for a few days and then completely stopped. I was prescribed a small starting dose of 5mg instant release twice a day. Despite the small dose I was a bit nervous since I figured this would be Wellbutrin on steroids. However, and this has been my experience each of the past 3 days, hours later I can't tell that it's really doing anything. It's hard to explain. If anything, it just feels like a very mild anxiety medication. There is no clear "it's kicking in" moment at all and my ADHD symptoms are not much better. Ironically, the Wellbutrin when it actually worked, was better than the Adderall... this seems rather bizarre to me. I think I could tell if I didn't take the Adderall, but I can't really tell anything when I have taken it.
I'm wondering if this might just be a dosage issue or maybe just not the right stim? I'll say that part of me is kinda encouraged about my experience because I'm not having any adverse effects that I can tell. Rather than increased anxiety, irritability, insomnia, etc. all of these things are actually better so it at least seems like I might tolerate this medication quite well. Any similar experiences out there?
|
ADHD
|
I’ve had a lot of shit go down in my life when I was younger. It was caused by my dad and years after the fact (me and my sister are late teens early twenties) my sister had a lot of mental trauma she got lots of help with (including ptsd) and continues to get help with but I was always concerned with not needing things that costed money (when my mon left my dad we had nothing) so I never asked for help. Now I’ll have things that don’t make any sense and occasionally get pointed out as weird by other people. I’m not self diagnosing or claiming to have anything, just curious what made you guys seek help?
Thanks for your time!
|
ptsd
|
this is really just a post because lately i’ve been feeling SO GRATEFUL and i don’t know what to do with it. Luvox saved my life. I know that i sound like one of those cheesy, running through a field and sitting on your porch drug ads but i’ve been on it for 9 months and i genuinely forget how bad life was before it. I know everyone’s different but I really never thought I would find a medication that helped, and i’m so grateful i did. Happy holidays everyone :)
also i wasn’t sure what flair to put my b if it’s wrong
|
OCD
|
I've jus had a dream in which I felt aroused by children (as in I could feel it) in relation to a fetish i may have or not idk and I fell like I deserve to d1e or worse (I'm *not* going to k1ll myslef) can't actually believe this. Does this mean that it was true all along? I hate this and I don't know what this means and I don't know if I can tell my therapist this. I'm not even diagnosed btw
|
OCD
|
After I send a text, I repeat it in my head . I tend to obsess about things I write anyway, but ugh I can’t stop doing this and it’s annoying me. It’ll probably stop in a day or so, I’m hoping. It’s kind of like when you think about breathing and then can’t get into a normal breathing pattern again. I don’t know if this is anxiety, ocd or a little combo platter of both. I don’t even have full blown ocd or Gad, just low grade versions of both. Anyway, yeah. I should probs meditate. Distracting myself and talking rather than texting is also helping.
|
OCD
|
Mental health has been worse than usual.
Room is a mess.
Food containers on table.
Forgot to get trash bag, so I'm not using the trash bin.
Cabinets not closed.
Bed not made.
Laying in bed while doing work instead of sitting at desk.
Bags on the floor.
Feel kinda guilty and my roommate is probably judging me.
But I've just been so exhausted lately. It's hard to keep up.
Will try to fix it tomorrow.
Oh and.. not exercising or eating properly. Just been eating snacks here and there.
|
depression
|
I'm not sure if this is related to OCD or not, but I do this thing where I need to process everything and if I don't, I can't be comfortable. It feels like I'm not complete if I don't. I feel like that all the time now since I can't process everything. It's sort of things like, "why does somebody think this?" or "what did they think this was before they found out the truth". It's also stuff like I have to compare what I thought of a certain show or movie before, and after. There are many more but I'm not going to bother. Am I the only one that does this?
|
OCD
|
Seriously. I don't have a close group of friends, but acquaintances with whom I go out occasionally, thinking "well, at least it's a chance to go out".
I try hard to join conversations, but I simply lack the specific information that other people seem to have because they have a powerful brain which allows them to have many life experiences, retain the information and turn it into words.
I am impressed at how neurotypicals know everything about everything and everyone. It's mind blowing.
|
aspergers
|
I should just die. I'm such an annoyance to everyone around me. My friends get progressively grumpier around me and my best friend won't even talk to me anymore. Maybe I'm just better off not here, where I can't bother anyone
|
depression
|
I've developed contamination OCD over the past few months. I don't think it's fair to say it's just because of the pandemic, although that's definitely put these thoughts into the front of my mind. I say this because although one of the things I worry about spreading is Covid, there are also other fears like germs on bathroom items, food borne illnesses, and so on. It's not so much that I worry about getting these; rather, it's the thoughts of spreading these diseases to innocent people that are dominating my thoughts. I can't stop thinking about people getting sick, dying, or having family members die because I gave them a disease through a small interaction like using a credit card or touching something. I feel an incredible sense of guilt over practically every interaction I have just because I feel like one small moment of carelessness on my end could ruin somebody else's life. For example, I spent about an hour last night cleaning my credit card to try and make sure there were no diseases on when I use it in the future. I also constantly clean door handles and other objects that I touch. One thing that I cannot feel comfortable with is my phone. I touch my phone a lot, of course, and I can't stop seeing it as thing that harbors tons of diseases, like I'm carrying a dirty animal around in my pocket. Every time I touch it, I put on hand sanitizer. I feel like that's what I have to do to keep people safe. The reason I'm freaking out right now is because last night I touched my phone without thinking after using the restroom and I hadn't washed my hands yet. Now I have this fear that there's a deadly disease on it that I have to be wary of every time I use it. I also know that I will pick up food later tonight, and that perhaps whatever is on my phone will make its way from that to the cashier's hand and result in someone dying. I try to tell myself that the odds of this happening are low, but I only see that as me trying to ignore the possibility, saying "I don't care". This in turn makes me feel like a bad person, since I'm essentially just throwing caution to the wind and putting other people in danger. I know that tonight I could just use hand sanitizer before paying for my food, but doing that just feeds into this obsession more so it will never go away. The other option is to just say "fuck it" and not worry about germs, but then I'm being negligent and someone could get hurt because of me. I want this to end but I don't know that can happen in a healthy way. I've tried medications, I've been to therapy, but this isn't going away. I don't know what else to do. Sorry if this post just seems like rambling, I'm kind of in a manic state right now. It's like all this stress I've been repressing over this issue has kind of released all at once since I know that I'll have to face it tonight.
|
OCD
|
I don’t feel anything at all. No emotion, no thoughts. Completely blank and empty. Idk what’s wrong with me. I wish I could feel something. I can’t even cry and I don’t remember the last time I did. I know I bottle up my emotions but now I can’t even do that because there are none. It’s like being a robot. I wish I could feel absolutely anything, even if it’s pain.
|
depression
|
I see my pcp (she treats my add) in December and I’m planning to talk to her about anxiety. I’ve been with the same doc for several years and we have a really good relationship. She is also my daughters pcp- so she is aware that I’m a single parent without any support, etc. With my add, she’s always listened to me about what I think I need and usually she rolls with it. I’ve been formally dx with depression (not on medication for it) so I wouldn’t think anxiety is too much of a stretch.
What I’d like to hear from you guys is about medications. It’s taken a while but last year I finally found my magical drug/dosage that works for my add and I’m a little worried about fucking that up with anti-anxiety meds. I take adderall IR 20 mg 2x a day. Does anyone have any experience with taking meds for both dx and having a positive outcome? Any specific anxiety meds that either did or didn’t work for you? I’m not sure if this is even real science… but in my head, I feel like they could kinda cancel each other out in way?
Thanks in advance for sharing your story with me! 💛
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed i have a really difficult time tolerating sound or noise. I’m deaf in my right ear—which is actually why my autism wasn’t caught for the first 28 years of my life, because I didn’t realize how overwhelming noise is to me until I got a hearing aid and started having meltdowns left right and center. I also didn’t realize what was going on or know that what I was experiencing were autistic meltdowns because when this started i got misdiagnosed as having PTSD. Now I know it’s Aspergers and have a better understanding of what is going on and why, but I don’t know what to do when I feel like this. I have to cover my hearing ear and remove the source of sound or myself from the situation ASAP, but that isn’t always feasible. The thing is, if I put an earplug in my left (hearing ear), i can’t hear a single thing at all, and then people can’t tell that I even have an earplug in. I think noise cancelling headphones would work, yeah?
How do you all cope with this sort of thing? I’ve actually stopped wearing my hearing aid for over a year now (except when it’s absolutely necessary), but it’s as if getting the hearing aid was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and now when I don’t wear it and my world went back to being quieter, I’m very sensitive to noise. And when i have extreme moments of overwhelm I can’t tolerate noise. Sometimes the noise itself is the trigger, sometimes it’s something else that brings sensitivity to sound along with it, but it feels like I’m about to burst at the seams, and I don’t know what to do.
What do you all do when this kind of thing happens? Aside from noise cancelling headphones, what are others things you do/use? And which (reasonably priced) headphones do you guys like?
|
aspergers
|
I hate myself when I keep to myself, I hate myself when I’m outgoing, I hate myself when I do anything. I wish I could be the person everyone wants me to be but I can’t. I’m just so sorry to everyone who has wasted their energy on me. I don’t care that I’m a honors student in NHS and just got into college because that’s not me. That’s just me being who people think I am. All I really am is just some loser druggie social outcast with no friends. My whole life is just me pretending so people wouldn’t get mad at me when I’m upset. I have no sense of identity or anything. I can’t make friends in real life and not even online. I just want a big reset button with a new family.
|
depression
|
Hello,
as you may know, reportedly a common symptom of Asperger syndrome is struggling to detect sarcasm/irony in everyday life. However, my teenage Aspie mind seems to be the exact opposite in that regard. Many times I have stayed away from people due to treating what appeared to be sincere invitations to talk/play as sarcastic/ironic, most likely because I couldn't believe someone actually wanted to hang out with me. I have a feeling this could be a symptom of low self esteem and the internalised build-up of the feeling of rejection due to negative experiences with people in the past.
What are your thoughts on this issue?
|
aspergers
|
I was always horny to my bf i wantrd sex and sex even when i experianced rocd and just his touch made me come but now i am stressed and we are not in good romantic situation we are away from each other than ever ( long distance relationship, distance but we used to be so close )now we argue a lot since one moment of year a lot and I could not come often like before and I am very little horny even when I am he doesn’t make me come right away Iikr used to and I feel like going to sleep all the time work and school made me tired and he just argues that he is the only initiative one and that makes me feel
Less happy and and when I have sex I am
Like why I can’t come wait I don’t want anymore what if I don’t love him then …. Lack of desire for sex makes me think now that the reason is because I am losing my love but spiritually and even when we more argue I still love him the most ever I know that but now sex gives me a lot of stress because why I can’t come at first like I used to why I don’t desire why we argue
…… I just wanna know that it’s not because I don’t love him anymore I wanna love him I want more sex I want to want more why I don’t feel
Like I just wanna sleep all the time … I can’t deal with my life with school and job eh I need some words of support and advice
|
OCD
|
i feel so friggin' shitty
please somebody end me already
|
depression
|
TLDR: Friend ignored me for months. She recently messaged me saying she wants to be friends again. I do not. What do I say?
Context: My friend and I are in our mid-20s. We have been very close online/gaming friends for years to the point where we usually spoke every day and had "claimed" each other as honorary siblings.
Just before my birthday, 3.5 months ago, she stopped talking to me with the exception of asking me for occasional advice/help with school projects.
I had explained that I was no longer going to extend unreciprocated invitations to hangout, chat, and help her with things, etc. She said that makes sense and continued to ignore me for a few more months. Recently, she began talking to my husband again and then eventually sent me a message apologizing for being a bad friend and expressing her interest in becoming close friends again, like we had been for years prior.
I don't know what a normal person would prefer me to say to them in this situation. I'm naturally drawn to being honest and simply saying, "Hi. I'm not interested in rekindling our friendship, but I appreciate you reaching out." My husband believes this is a "cold" response. I figured it was honest and better than just ignoring her, since that's the behavior that convinced me to not go back to the friendship in the first place. I'm looking for the best course of action.
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aspergers
|
i'm 15, i used to cut when i was 11-14, i'm now extremely scared of knives, blood and anything related to that.
sometimes i go several weeks without shaving bc i'm scared of touching a razor, when i accidentally hurt myself and bleed i start crying and shaking even if it's something minor like a papercut, sometimes i get flashbacks of my cuts and i start crying uncontrollably, other times i can't sleep because i keep getting intrusive thoughts including gore or cuts.
the last time i cut was over 9 months ago but i still get flashbacks of it, does that sound like ptsd?
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ptsd
|
Responding to jokes is too hard. Putting your thoughts into words is too hard. Staying focused in the conversation is too hard. Finding people interesting for more than 30 minutes is too hard. Sitting in a public place full of noise, clutter, and people is too hard. Being constantly amusing to others is too hard. Conforming to social norms is too hard. And accepting all the little games, all the underhanded signals between people, all the hidden little criticisms, and the selfishness of others...is just. too. much. Socializing is a pain in every aspect and in every form.
If I am having a good time, it won't be too long before a small thing happens that ruins my mood and I desire to remove myself from my company.If I am having a bad time, I don't have the energy to discuss, listen, respond, or do anything that the others would want. Makes me feel I'm dragging my group down.
These all are the reasons I am always greeted with words like "haha where did you get lost again" or "why do you ignore me on socials?".
It's simply because after the ADHD timer hits 0, I'll be anything but an attractive person to you, unless I start masking everything I do or say. And I simply don't have that energy anymore. I prefer to be my true, positive version instead, even if its for short bursts of time. And that energy takes a lot of time to recharge, or for the day and hour to be right.
But I still simply can't have fun for more than an hour when out and socializing with anyone. And it makes me sad. It makes me feel that I'll lose the connections I currently have, and I'll never forge stronger ones.Because I'll always be known as the nomad slash "caveman" guy who comes out of his castle once in a blue moon, only to disappear once again.
I have no love life because of this either, because everything I tried to do was too rushed on my part, due to my low patience, and it never worked out. And neither do I have the will or the energy to put in the effort to play the dating game. I already did, and I never want to again. Period.
Having ADHD is...too hard.
Edit: Thank you for all the comments guys and gals, it feels good to be heard.
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ADHD
|
I’m a very strong person. I’m charismatic, funny, nice and good socially too. But I also have some intense trauma related to shit that NPD and BPD girls did to me in the past. Whenever I get triggered, I become hypervigilant and everyone becomes threatening. This could possibly be my own stuff but when this happens, I feel like people assume I’m just some no-confidence, pushover, which isn’t true. It doesn’t help that I’m in recovery so I’m surrounded by people who idealize masculinity. It’s particularly bothering because when I like a girl, I can’t help but get nervous. I’m good at talking to girls but it’s seriously so stressful When I want to date one Or sleep with one because I get paranoid theyre setting me up for something horrible. With all this nice guy shit going around, I feel like people label me that when in reality I’m just really traumatized. I just get so goddamn frustrated because of it. It sometimes takes weeks for social events to stop being triggering if I even experience one event that reminds me of the past. On top of that, I have persistent psychosis so one of these triggers can send me off into An episode. Maybe I’ll just start being bluntly honest about everything going on in my head because I’m sick of being misunderstood. It’s just fucking fucked to be a dude going through this shit. The pressure is so intense and I already have dudes wanting to bring me down a notch because I’m really handsome as well (I’m not supposed to say this but it’s the truth and it happens all the fucking time. Or at least until people realize I’m actually a very decent person And sort of put their shit aside.)
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ptsd
|
Hello, I'm looking for some advice. My contamination OCD only allows me to drink water after I've put it through a filter and boiled it. While this is pretty inconvenient, I've found it mostly manageable. However, in the last few days, my OCD has become even more obsessed with making sure my water isn't contaminated and has forced me to pour out my water which means I have to do the whole process over again if I want anything to drink. I'm wondering if people have any advice on how to stay hydrated considering this restriction? My brain still processes tea as water but seems to be fine with hot chocolate. I can't drink anything that isn't hot, and I also don't like milk. I get this is pretty restrictive, but I'm really open to any suggestions since I've barely drunk any water recently and I'm worried about it continuing/getting worse.
|
OCD
|
Hi guys!
Questions about medication. I have been on two medications throughout my journey Fluoxetine and now I am taking Aropax. I have been on this medication for over 5 years.
Since joining this forum I have seen many other forms of medication that people are using. I am always wondering if I should try something else or if something else will have a better effect on me.
Please let me know your experience with OCD medication. If you have tried a few, how you recognise which one works best. I would love to see how they have improved your life.
Amelia.
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OCD
|
If possible, somebody who has overcome fear of psychosis/schizophrenia-OCD
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OCD
|
Recently I’ve had lots of issues with my stomach (neither me, my family or the doctor have any idea what it is) wherein I get very queasy every other day and I occasionally have intense abdominal pain for hours after eating something. It happens too often for comfort
I’ve been stupidly tired as well and have fallen asleep pretty much immediately every day after school and end up sleeping until the early hours of the morning
Because of all this I barely ever have the opportunity to eat properly which really sucks because I hate how skinny I am.
It also is becoming increasingly difficult to take my medication since I never have enough in my stomach
I’m posting this now because I’m extremely hungry and worried that I never eat enough but all the food accessible to me either makes me sick or I just flatout hate. I don’t even know what to fucking do anymore about my stupid fucking appetite and I’m so sick of it. I’m never going to gain weight especially since I’m going to have to move out soon and will no longer be able to eat whenever I need
I guess this is just a rant
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depression
|
This is my second NaNo and I’ll probably complete this one barring any unforeseen circumstances (lol) but I really respect anyone who even attempts to take it on. Talk about it here! Everyone deserves some encouragement, and 50k in a month is no joke! When you reply below, talk about your project, and what your goal is! ADHD makes things tough sometimes, but we're all here to help each other.
For example, I'm writing a horror fantasy/urban fantasy mish-mash of some concepts I've been really meaning to try out for a while, including what it means to give up a part of yourself, along with accepting what you are for what you are, and I'm also adding the challenge of writing it live in front of the internet!
Thanks again everyone, and keep it up! You're doing great :)
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ADHD
|
Demons/devils are said to have a compulsion to count chickpeas, rice, seeds, etc.. I often find myself thinking of my mental health issues and how they've been depicted historically and mythologically, and I wonder if anyone else does the same. Not necessarily "I'm a demon" but examining the mythological origins of certain symptoms.
Anyone else do the same?
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OCD
|
i am in love with someone and i have the intrusive thought around developing erotomania. it is a psychotic disorder where you have the delusion that someone is in love with you / in a secret relationship with you even though they are not. whilst this probably doesn't seem scary at first, it can definitely become scary. people with this disorder tend to stalk the person they think they are secretly in a relationship with. and i would feel so embarrassed if something like this happened in my life.
i believe in manifesting (the neville goddard way / law of assumption) so it doesn't make it much easier for me to ignore intrusive thoughts because i believe they could manifest. my way around that - obviously - are compulsions. today i resisted my urge to do a compulsion but i feel unsettled now.
i know that exposures are the only helpful thing to overcome ocd but when it comes to intrusive thoughts about delusions i have such a hard time doing exposures because i feel like i will never be sure if the exposures were helping.
(for example: a person with harm ocd can make an exposure and after some time have proof that nothing bad happened. a person who has the fear of becoming delusional won't have the proof because we all know that people with delusions most likely aren't aware of that.)
psychosis / schizophrenia and especially the disorder i talked about first make me so so scared. but i really don't want to stigmatize these mental illnesses. people who have them are also just normal, beautiful humans.
how can i get out of this constant cycle of anxiety and intrusive thoughts + compulsions. it is so exhausting and scary.
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone sorry for the long post,
I am 18 years old cis-male from Finland. Ocd has been problem with me for 1.5 years in way or another. For the last 6months I have been battling with HOCD. I started to win the fights against HOCD but the war against OCD won't end. In the 1.5 year spand I have had ROCD, HOCD, POCD and some other sexual function linked OCD. With HOCD being around so badly I realized I have had other OCD linked problems earlier.
Last week I remembered that when I was a kid (8-12 y/o) I had one dream. The dream was about me getting raped as a girl. If I remember correctly it gave me some sick joy when I woke up. I never had it after that and it did not make me think I was a girl or wanted to be a trans.
Fast forward to last week. As I said earlier I feel like I was winning battle against HOCD by finally realising gay porn or hot men simply did not turn me on or give me erection. Then I remembered the dream from my childhood. After remembering I feel like OCD took another target. My gender. Pretty much last week I felt really uncomfortable due the fear of me being trans. It all circles around the dream. Nothing else, only the dream and some shemale porn experiences. I was able to defeat it for a day yesterday somehow by realising this ain't possible for just out of nowhere feel like you are trans.
Today morning I felt like HOCD was coming back and decided to do the same old test by watching gay porn. And then TOCD hit me. By making me feel like the the fact I did not like gay porn was just because I want to be a women with male. Once that idea popped TOCD has been around the whole day. It still circles around the 10 years old dream I once had. To make clear, I have never wanted to cross dress, make up or wear women's clothes. Today I was alone in my girlfriends room when she were outside. My mind got this thought like "try her cloutches, you want that, let's see do you like it let's test" and it just gave me anxiety. It made me wonder how many trans-women dislike idea of crossdressing?
To make things worse I wrote about my feelings and thoughts to a notebook and left it wide open and went outside for a walk. I think during that period my dad had went to my room and read it. And I don't know how to explain my OCD to him, he propably thinks I'm trans now. I feel like I'm not ready to talk about this to anyone but I don't feel it's right for him to not tell.
I don't even know do I really have "TOCD" or am I now transgender. Even thought I have never wanted to be a girl. Sorry for the confusing post but I really need some help now with handling my emotions, ocd thoughts and dealing with my dad.
|
OCD
|
​
by method I mean things like altruism, awareness focus, non judgement, the giving up of desire and many other methods like these.
​
Of them all which do YOU think is best?
|
OCD
|
I've always picked at or bitten my fingernails when I get nervous. I'm trying to grow out my nails at the moment and it's not going well. Is there anything else that you can do with your hands that works for you as a replacement?
|
aspergers
|
Okay, so some background on me. When I was 8, I was diagnosed with PNES or Functional Neurological Disorder (disassociating episodes that can happen due to trauma, stress, or brain abnormalities) as well as a mood disorder. I remember being suicidal, hearing voices, and just hating myself. They put me on Lamictal and Topamax for 15 years.
About 3 years ago I came off of everything. I was living with my boyfriend and didn't want to be on medication anymore, so they tapered me off. I was fine for awhile, but ended up developing a different condition called Pseudotumor Cerebri, basically meaning false brain tumor. Too much spinal fluid was building up in my brain and causing me to go blind. I had to get emergency surgery on my optic nerves in order to save my vision. To cope with the pain, I started using medical marijuana.
Last year, I got married (same guy). We definitely had our issues, but they never bothered me before. For starters, my first interaction with him was a one-night stand that I really didn't want but went along with anyway. We didn't talk for a year, I had a few short-lived toxic relationships, and we ended getting back together. He also knew I was bisexual, but that didn't bother him.
Anyway, I never really thought about any of those things or cared too much. It was just part of my past. But this past June I got into a HUGE fight with my husband (he said some triggering things to me, mostly about trying to control my appearance and forcing me to have intercourse when I didn't want to. When I confided in my friends he told me I had broken his trust by telling other people our business. He told me I disrespected him and if I couldn't learn to respect him then we should just divorce. ) I started to get my disassociating episodes again. We almost divorced, it was pretty traumatic, but we managed to make it work out. However, things seemed to get worse from here.
In August, my husband demolished my car. It was his second car crash in six months. He wrecked his own car in November and now he wrecked the car my dad gave me and I passed onto him. He has ADHD so his attention span is not as great as other people, but at this point I was just at a loss. I felt taken advantage of. I mean, I know we're married but I wasn't sure where to draw the line between being a good wife and cutting ties. He told me I was selfish and unsupportive. I felt really bad, and I decided to stop smoking weed because I felt like maybe it was numbing me and making me less aware of some of the psychological abuse I was putting up with.
After I cut out the marijuana, things got BAD. I started therapy because my anxiety was so bad. I was crying for no reason. I was having panic attacks every day. It felt like I was on fight or flight mode and I would just black out. I spent a few nights at my mom's house, and I started to seriously doubt our relationship. It was like this extreme sense of depersonalization or derealization. I started googling all my symptoms. Was it weed withdrawals? Was it ROCD? Was it HOCD? I thought, maybe I'm gay? Maybe that's why I don't love him anymore.
After coming home, I could not shake the feeling of dysphoria. It was the worst depression I had ever felt. I couldn't eat. I had lost like 15lbs in the last few weeks. Was it from the weed withdrawal? Was it anxiety from all of our fightings? We had another fight in which I confessed maybe I'm a lesbian, which later turned into maybe I'm not a lesbian, maybe this relationship is just wrong, which later turned into maybe I'm just going through weed withdrawals. I literally could not trust my emotions or feelings. I told him he needed to go to therapy, too, if we wanted to make this work. He's always hated therapy. He had an abusive father growing up and he's never wanted to confront it.
Since that day, there's been highs and lows, but now there's more lows than highs. The disassociating/panic attacks were getting so bad, I had to go back on my medication (the Lamictal and Topamax). And I will say, those have somewhat subsided, but I've now been in a 24/7 state of depersonalization. It's like I'm not really alive anymore. The only time I feel semi-okay is when I'm having a conversation with someone. Other than that, I am constantly ruminating, perseverating, rationalizing, or overthinking. I feel completely stuck in my head. At first, I kept thinking I was going through withdrawals and was obsessed with reading withdrawal forums and seeing if I fit those symptoms. Then, my therapist mentioned I could have CPTSD or Boderline personality disorder, and I feel like that triggered me even more. I started googling those things, checking to see if I fit the symptoms. I read that CPTSD can be caused my emotional and psychological abuse, and that brought back the ROCD. I started asking myself, "Do I really love him? Why am I in this realtionship? Am I victim of abuse and all of this is just caused by abuse?" Then I started thinking, what if I'm gay and this is my body telling me I'm a lesbian and I shouldn't be with a man? And then I started going through all my feelings for women since I was 15 years old and had my first girlfriend. Then I say, "maybe if I left this would all go away" and then I say "well you are a bordeline and a narcissist and you'll never be able to love someone" and then I say "well is that the abuse making you feel like it's your fault?"
And omg it doesn't end. It never fucking ends. The scary thing is, I feel the calmest when I am out to dinner with my husband, when I am cooking breakfast, at the gym, when I am doing laundry, or just staying busy in general. Yes, he's hurt me. Yes he's done some mean things. But he is in therapy. He is changing. He's said sorry and he's confessed to the abuse and is doing something everyday to change and repent. He's not a monster. So I'm not sure why I can't just move on. I feel like all the anxiety between our marriage and quitting weed has induced OCD for everything. And I probably do have Comorbid CPTSD. But I just want to know when I'm going to feel like me again? I feel like I haven't been myself in so long. I've forgetton who I am because I just live in my head in my thoughts.
I feel like writing this was a form of compulsion for me. I shouldn't have done it. I don't even remember writing it. This is all I do. I want so badly to go back to real life.
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OCD
|
Hi, I am new here and I am trying to learn more about people with ASD.
If you met other aspies, would you be able to recognize them? What indicators would you look for?
|
aspergers
|
I'm trying my best to understand adhd. I'll never fully understand it though because I don't have it.
With that said, what are ways I can support my kiddo while he's at home? Any tips/tricks? Does any kind of clutter throw you all off? Should I label stuff like drawers/bins? I'm just trying to set him up for success as he gets older. He's on Vyvanse which tbh, miracle drug. Can't change my mind. Infinitely better than Adderall.
He is currently on restriction with his video games because he just could go hours and hours... And then I'm literally reminding him 15 times to empty the dishwasher and then I get pissed off. It's an entire cycle and I'm over it - over it in the sense of I hate getting upset/angry when I know there's a legit reason. Blah.
Help?
|
ADHD
|
Honestly I just want to know I'm not alone. I'm in my early 20s living at home with my parents because I lost one of my jobs and can't afford to live on my own, which would be fine except I was r***ed in the basement twice and I haven't been able to go down there since. Even being around the stairs to the basement I start to get body flashbacks, and the nightmares have been getting progressively worse. I haven't really been able to connect with a therapist since I lost my last one pre-pandemic. I've been staying afloat calling resource lines when getting close to crisis, taking walks, and social distant visiting friends in my circle when it was allowed, but at the end of the day I have to go back home and it hurts so much being here. I can't even focus on my work-from-home job anymore because I keep having flashbacks or I get distracted by my anxiety or I'm exhausted for the lack of sleep. I don't know what else to do.
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ptsd
|
so basically long story short I dropped out of high school(?) to do online classes my senior year. I wasn’t able to do them because I procrastinated too hard and eventually just gave up. a year later i’m trying again, unfortunately taking the same exact classes I wasn’t able to do. i’m decently caught up in a couple classes but I haven’t done a thing in econ and i’ve only done 5/18 assignments in AP lit. I have less than a month til the end of the semester. I don’t fucking know what to do.
in my mind I KNOW I will regret it if I fail again. I hate myself for not being able to graduate high school like a normal human. even with my level of depression I still just convince myself im a lazy piece of shit. I know if I just pound out the school work I will be able to finish and i’ll be happy and relieved but I can’t get myself to just sit down and do it. it’s damn near impossible. my mind just shuts down whenever I open my computer. I will actually immediately start crying and then fall asleep sometimes when I open an assignment. it’s like my body physically crashes like a computer because of stress overload. I am an old shitty computer.
help me please what should I do?? i’ve already emailed my teachers and they’ve even exempted some assignments but there’s still too many. how can I force myself to do this work. it’s not just homework, it’s class work. each assignment is supposed to take like 3-5 hours to complete.
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ADHD
|
Hello, I'm a dude from Portugal, and I am 21 years old.
Right now I'm mostly straight with a bit of bisexual attraction.
Although when I was younger, like around 15/16 years old, I really identified myself as a girl, and I even talked to specialists and family about it and they always supported me.
Because of my "unusual" sexual identity, I couldn't find anyone to engage in a romantic or sexual relationship, so I tried looking for guys online.
I found some online chats where I found a lot of guys that were also my age 15/16 and we're interested in boys like me. It made me feel happy.
But then, some older men started wanting to talk to me. At first I didn't give them much attention, but they were kind and said they just wanted me to feel good. So I started having romantic and sexual talks with these older guys. They were 30+ and I was 15/16.
These guys ranged from kind of "ok" people, that only wanted a chat, to more horny men that wanted to have a sexual chat with me.
Most of them were always good to me in the chats, and that made me happy and feel good that real males were interested in me at that time.
One day, a dude came to me in the chat and asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. I said that I wasn't ready because I didn't know him that well. So he kept on saying he was a good guy and that's when it turned bad.
This guy started actually confessing he had been with boys and girls that were my age and that they loved being with him and so, I would also love to be with him. He started sending pictures to prove that... These pictures are those prohibited images, you know what I mean...
Thankfully I didn't really talk much longer with this dude, as something in me flashed a red alarm. I still talked to him for some minutes but slowly lowered my interest and after some more minutes I never spoke to him again and blocked him.
I blocked him and every other older guy that had been sexually talking to me. I recognized that these people were not just men who cared and made younger boys feel "good".
Thankfully I never met any of these older men!..
So now this is my problem... : I don't really feel like I was a victim to these guys as much of the time I actually enjoyed talking to them. They made me feel good. The problem is: what if the fact that these men talked to me in a sexual manner, has actually made them more comfortable and probable of commiting an actual crime of this kind?
I'd love to hear your opinion... Do you think I am to blame for anything?
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OCD
|
dyspraxia is basically an issue with clumsiness, and I’ve heard that a lot of Aspies have issues with bodily awareness and spatial skills. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with dyspraxia, but I definitely have the symptoms. I feel like if I was in a video game, I’d frequently walk into walls and continue making walking motions. I’ve also smacked into glass doors.
I absolutely hated middle school gym, both for the social ostracism, and the fact that I was terrible at things like volleyball. I wonder how many Aspies had similar experiences and enjoyed self-directed exercise like jogging or swimming?
Does anybody here have a phobia of driving? I never learned how to drive when I was a teenager, and I’m paying the price. I’m learning to drive as an adult, but it’s slow going. It’s incredibly difficult having dyspraxia and poor spatial awareness and having to control a car and having to concentrate on so many different things at the same time. It’s stressful, but I live in an area where public transportation is next to nonexistent, so driving is pretty much the only way to get around.
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aspergers
|
This is just so disheartening to me. A couple weeks ago I started making some major lifestyle changes and I finally got to the point where I was feeling better. And now I’m starting to lose this zest for life that I have found. I’ve quit smoking marijuana, quit cigarettes (but I am vaping at the moment), started working out again, practicing yoga and meditation, trying to learn guitar, and have been studying music production. I do struggle a bit with loneliness, but I still see family and friends on a pretty regular basis. Right now I honestly feel lethargic and a little numb like I did when I was smoking weed. I honestly just don’t get it. Any advice would be much appreciated!
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depression
|
how to figure out if it is OCD? i took luvox and my throughts is more normal
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OCD
|
I'm so fucking lonely. My friends and family live over 2 hours away, my dad and half brother over 4, and I'm just so unbelievably miserable. I feel like I could make it through anything if I had someone that loved me, not familial love or platonic love, I want to experience romantic love. I'm 21 years old, I live in a city that's literally Known for it's LGBTQ+ community, have done for over 2 years, and I've yet to even come close to it. I just feel so unlovable everytime I listen to my roommates talk about boys they've got with or their current boyfriends because I can't even seem to find a girl that fucking likes me.
I'm going to fail uni at this rate, I can't bring myself to do any work it all just feels so overwhelming and I'm stuck in this pit of self hatred where even when I do try, I convince myself it's garbage and that I'm garbage by proxy. I wish there was someone here I could turn to, someone I could call up and ask to see, have them hold me and let me cry with them while they tell me it'll be ok. I crave that kind of affection so badly, I don't even really care about sex or anything to that affect that comes with romantic relationships, I just want someone I can love who loves me back.
I keep telling myself it's because I'm not trying that I've not found anyone, but god I'm trying so hard but it's just so daunting having been rejected/ghosted so many times. Its so pathetic, but the thought of someone playing with my hair while I lay in their lap makes me want to cry - what's wrong with me, I'd do anything to have someone to love. I'm scared that I'm doomed to remain alone my whole life, and if I am I'd rather find that out now so I can stop this suffering.
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depression
|
Seriously, ADHD can make the upkeep of friends nearly impossible.
That friend from primary or middle school that you used to be very close to? Oh, you never contacted them after graduating because it felt too tiring or difficult and you procrastinated till it's too late. And what, are you really going to organize a meeting up and go to it? Do it regularly now that going to school doesn't give you perfect conditions to hang out? That's way too difficult!
For me, I really struggle with maintaining interest if I do not have regular contact with someone. Stopped going to school with someone I was incredibly close to for years? Give it a week, I'll forget about them and lose emotional attachments. But in the moment, the relationship feels so intense that I couldn't live without it.
And then making friends as an adult, that's so much more difficult. Sure, colleagues are fine, but you won't get that close to anyone only seeing them at university or at work. So getting close means going somewhere with them and that means planning and that's too difficult. So instead you overwhelm them the short periods of time you do meet, talking way too much about yourself and possibly getting too personal too quickly, thinking before speaking, and eventually scaring them off. It's not that you're asocial exactly - you like talking to people, but you have a hard time listening to them, and you get annoyed when they chat in a group about something you don't care about and you have nothing to say about. Or you do, but you can't find the right moment to butt in, or when you do, nobody cares.
Well, I don't actually know if anyone relates to this. It's just so hard for me to maintain relationships and get close to people, and I've just realized it might have something to do with my (yet to be diagnosed, planning to talk to my psych about it the next appointment) ADHD. Idk. I've found so many relatable posts here so I thought that maybe someone relates to this as well.
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ADHD
|
It just gives me so much anxiety!! I’m not sure I even fully comprehend what charcuterie is, other than a recent food trend of chaos on a cutting board. Regardless, it makes me crazy. I can’t be the only one??
|
aspergers
|
I made a quick calculus : It has now been **41 months** since I tried to get a diagnosis for what I have. After dozens of misdiagnosis, hospital visits and all I finally had an appointement with a neuropsychologist 3 months ago, then a seoncd yesterday. My next one -not my last, this is only my third official appointement- is in one month and a half.
Why the hell is it this slow ?
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ADHD
|
I am aware that these are probably intrusive thoughts and unlikely but I can't get out my head that there is parasite eating my brain or I have massive worms in my stomach I hate not being able to know what's inside me I feel really grossed out by it and keep ruminating going round in circles I keep telling myself it's the OCD but they still keep re occurring and in that moment I tend to get overwhelmed does anyone else experience this and how do you deal with it
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OCD
|
I can't forget. The only way I can forget is to die.
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depression
|
I exclusively listen to audio books because of my mental condition. I've never really was able to read a physical book and enjoy listening to them every now and then. Though not every book is made into audio format and I wanted to start reading a new series that will most likely not be made into audio format. So, how do you read text only books?
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ADHD
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I struggled on my own for years, never getting enough help. Becoming further and further isolated. Missing out on tons of things that normal people do as they grow up. I still live at home and I probably always will. Never had a job interview. Never had sex. Never had a strong social life. Never really knowing anyone or getting close to anyone.
If I ever had extensive therapy I feel like they would have told me my experience with OCD was the beginning of a lot of insecurity for me. The beginning of my isolation from others. I don’t need anyone to tell me what’s wrong with me. It’s clear as day to me. And I have to see that truth and that reality, never being able to fix it or change it. I’m feeling despair. That’s what it is. At 27 years old. What am I going to feel in another 20 years if I make it that far? Life isn’t fair. It’s actually really fucked up. People die alone every day. Some live for decades in pure misery knowing nothing else. Nothing happens as it “should”, obviously. But to me in my position it’s devastating. So many minutes and so many hours lost to ritual. Who knows how many days wasted by meaningless fantasies that to me held the weight of the world. But it was all wrong.
I feel like an experiment gone wrong. A case study that never should have existed. Enslave me and put me in a human zoo so at the very least someone gets *something* out of my time here.
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OCD
|
Hey, can anyone help? I'm looking for ways to deal with sensory overload.
I'm very sensory sensitive, especially to noise and light (and wind, smells crowded places etc.). Usually I use earplugs and /or headphones and blue light blocking glasses. I've always got those issues but some days it's way worse. Today, for instance it was a windy day with bright, white light. I didn't have my headphones with me, but luckily managed to get some earplugs half way through my way to the supermarket.
When I was walking on the streets and being in the supermarket, I felt the rise of extreme aggression, stress, sweat and heat. Things were ridiculously loud, it made me hurt physically and sent me into fight/flight mode. I am familiar with this feeling but today it was one of the stronger experiences. I had to control my breathing and flex my muscles so hard to not take the bottle in my hand and hit/hurt something (e.g. a motorcycle) or someone (e.g. some of the perfectly fine people next to me). The other alternatives would have been crying and/or throwing myself in front of a car.
Since I really do not want to cause any of those nice people around me any trouble, I'm a bit worried. Today was very tricky. Lucky, I have such a high amount of self control. I also think people (who don't know me very well) didn't notice, since I stayed very calm on the outside.
Now I'm at finally home and exhausted. Things are still way too loud, even though the only thing I hear is my breathing and the keyboard of my laptop. Well, and some background noises barely any normal person would notice. Dark curtains definitely help. My left arm still hurts and I have chest pain. It feels like I've just came home from a terribly long and stressful journey.
Today was just an example, I've had better, as well as worse experiences. But I'm tired of dealing with those issues on a daily basis.
If you can think of a solution I'd really appreciate that. I'm absolutely open to any ideas.
Thank You very much.
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aspergers
|
I just did exactly what started this whole thing and i just feel so ashamed... i feel like im a stupid loser who cant control himself, i thought i learned from my mistakes but i just keep doing them over and over again and i just feel like i wanna bash my head into the fucking wall, right as it happened i immediatly went oh no what have i done what have i done what have i done oh shit what did i just do what did i just do and my it felt like my heart was gonna drop off my chest, im doing this post just bcs i have no one else to share this with (wellll more like i do but i dont want to) and i need comfort to be completely frank, it always goes like "oh thats that thing i shouldnt do, but you know its kinda stupid anyways, Whats the worse that could happen?" And then the worse happens, god im just so mad at myself, if i cant do this simple thing then i cant do anything, i just never fucking learn, i always think to myself that i do but im just a idiot, im a moron good for nothing who cant do the simpliest things
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OCD
|
I have a fear of inhaling contaminants. But I also have a pretty sensitive allergy to things such as dust and I'm finding myself in this form of hell. My fear stems from the long term dangers of dust such as the toxic and carcinogenic properties.
The trouble is I can be triggered by opening a cupboard, walking into a room, moving something around and despite me being ultra careful to avoid anything with visible dust, I still get the sneezing and sore nose and throat.
The problem being is that if I sneeze or get an allergy, it brings attention to the fact that I have been exposed to something and brings about another round of OCD. I'm plagued by this stuff and even if I wear a mask for the most part I'm caught out by daily living. Its torture.
How do I rationlize this "real" world allergy which overlaps with the very topic of my OCD?
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OCD
|
Hello! 33yoF here.. I've been taking Adderall for about 6 months now and I'm finding a foul smelling sweat has occurred. Not an excessive sweating issue...same amount of sweat, just doesn't smell like my usual sweet pheromones. My smell is hugely important to me!!
Have you guys found a similar effect with Concerta or other med options? Do you have suggestions on how to get rid of the odor while continuing to treat the condition?
Thank you for your input!!
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ADHD
|
Hey guys this is the first time I've ever started studying a week before my exams, my finals are coming up I started early cause I know I'm smart and I always try and do too much the day before exams, so I'm starting early I'm learning and working on stuff now but I'm scared I'll forget stuff again, how do I remember stuff, that I've studied so long before exams
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ADHD
|
For years I felt trapped and like I was gonna suffer from ocd, depression, and anxiety forever, but I eventually said screw it and saw a psychiatrist. I got prescribed fluvoxamine and it didn’t work too well at first but I stuck with it and let the dosage increase. 6 months later and I can get in bed after going outside and don’t spend 8 minutes at the sink every time to wash my hands. I don’t have to listen to all my compulsions anymore, they’re boring and tedious to go through. I still have a bit of a way to go, but I feel more normal than ever. I know a single medication won’t work for everyone, just want those to know you can get relief from ocd with treatment. Just give it a chance, it won’t be immediate but it will be worth it.
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OCD
|
I don't understand why, they've been doing it forever, like they were doing it on purpose only before I had this disorder. Like they're gnawing that I'm calm and happy.
It used to be something that made me angry there and then but then after 5 minutes it would pass. Now it wears me down inside and makes me doubt everything even more. Complaining just amplifies it.
Its like It's as if they have a totally distorted view of the world and want to change me and drive me crazy at all costs
What should I do?
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OCD
|
my maths tutor asked me if I've ever been tested for dyslexia because i have trouble understanding the questions that are long/have a lot of words including numbers for the sum etc.......
but I'm not struggling whatsoever in English and it has always been my strongest subject, the only time i struggle seems to be when words and numbers are together in a question (we've been doing mocks)....
idk know why but seeing both numbers and letters/words mixed together in a sentence really messes with my head and throws me off resulting in me having to break it down bit by bit and highlighting the numbers etc, so I can try and understand what the Q is asking me to do, then writing the sum out without losing my thought process and it ends up taking me a lot longer.
idk if it's worth noting that I also can't picture anything in my mind so I can't see the numbers in my head for calculations, have to write it all down as i go.
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ADHD
|
Hello,
I am newly diagnosed at age 28. I have been all my life just kind of oscillating around surface of the water. I am not native english speaker so I hope you understand my analogy. 😂
I have never been able to keep interest and motivation to things that didn't go well for me (university, many jobs, hobbies...), but sadly even to things that I wasn't probably bad at (art, relationships...).
After the diagnosis, I got Strattera and I can better focus on things. I really wish to return to painting and studying.
But I am very afraid that it could be just another episode, before I will lose the interest and motivation. I don't want another failures. 😅
So I am seeking advice. What is your trick to keep the interest in things, when it gets harder or when your focus and motivation are down and when you are doubting yourself?
Thank you, keep safe
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ADHD
|
I’m planning to take SSRI to help me with my OCD(Intrusive thoughts non stop all day everyday) can’t find therapists around. Medication is my only hope now out of this nightmare i’m in. What do you guys recommend.
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OCD
|
I am currently in the midst of my international exams...and they have been pretty trashy so far. Needless to say, I've spiralled back into my hell hole of excecutive dysfunction and self-hate. On top of my depression and suicidal thoughts, I've been having panic attacks daily and my ADHD is not helping me either (yes I'm diagnosed).
So, for the first time in 6 years, I sought help from my friends. Previously, I would just try to deal with my problems myself because of my past experiences with friends and family when I was a lil child. My friends have been scolding me to get me to talk to them and open up more these few years...and I tried. I tried yesterday. When I couldnt get myself out of bed. I just sat on the bed and stared at my phone, wishing for a response, a word of encouragement...anything...but nope. As usual, they succeeded in disappointing me.
I honestly dont know why I got my hopes up for. Why did I ever except them to stay true to their words and be there for me? I texted 2 of them, telling them that I cant get myself out of bed and can only mindlessly watch youtube videos. Even explictly told them "I want to die. I really need help, I need a hug" for the first time in my life. But guess what? They replied 6h later...one with a sticker and the other friend with a "jyz" (which means all the best)...
So I gave up, been crying the past 2 days now, unable to do anything productive at all...and my exam is in 8 hours. I'm so screwed, I'm so stressed, and yet I can't seem to help myself at all. I didnt respond to their messages since yesterday, and they didnt even bother to text back. Especially considering that my last messages to them were just simple cries for help...they didnt bother. Perhaps they wouldnt even bat an eyelid if I had commited suicide right then, they wouldnt even have known.
I guess nobody really cares about us. I dont even know why I bother trying anymore. I really want to leave this world so bad already. There isnt a point in living when everything is just to bleak now. I've been feeling like all my smiles and laughters have been diminishing more lately, and every action seems so fake and forced. The only reason why I'm still breathing today is my mom. She can be overprotective and not understanding at times, but she is the only one in my life who has really been accepting of me, trying her best to be there for me even though she fails at it (we have quite different thinkings, so her attempts to care for me go against my desires, creating conflicts instead) Other than that, I've no reason to live. My dad and sister will live fine without me. In fact, my death would be a burden off their shoulders.
And I have digressed...sigh I don't know what to do anymore. I wonder if true happiness really exists. Do people actually feel happy in life? Is happiness really achievable? Anyone got tips on how to get rid of emotions and not care about friendships anymore? All I want is to be independent and never give a shit about others anymore. Giving is detrimental. I'm much better off alone and emotionless. I honestly wish that the world will end soon and all humans will be obliterated from this god forsaken hell hole. (I'm not religious in any way, in fact, I'm an atheist. "god forsaken" is just a phrase, so please don't start giving me well wishes based on religions...like honestly, some people need to understand that not everyone likes to be blessed by your faith, especially when we dont believe in it. It just feels like you're forcing your religion on us when you bring in religion to everything...AND AGAIN. DIGRESSION. I am sorry. But no I'm not religiously discriminatory. I understand and accept that you have your own beliefs. And that is why I wish you would apply the same respect for mine, and others who feel the same way as I do.)
ANYWAYS friendships suck and I need advice on how to stop caring about others. I've always been seen as a very happy person who loves to help others, and I dont want to be that person anymore. I no longer want to fake my smiles and enthusiasm everywhere I go. I no longer want to give a piece of my heart to everyone, caring for everyone elses' needs. Why should I bother if nobody else cares anyways? I'll just silently continue waiting for my inevitable death. I'm a little closer to it with every passing second.
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depression
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I've never been able to smile. Especially when asked for a picture. It's just something I can't do. Drives me insane in the context of things like a school photo ID. Good lord, just take the photo and let me go.
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aspergers
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I was diagnosed at a young age and know why I have OCD. I lived with my granny when I was just 2. She must have some of the most severe OCD I have ever seen—obsession about front doors, the grill, time, cleaning. Since she has OCD, the experience obviously left an imprint on me. What’s your experience?
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OCD
|
Hi everyone, I’m a 22F and for the past month or so I’ve just been in this slump. I’ve never struggled with depression before, so I’m not really sure if this is what it is.
I’m temporarily working in another country which has always been my dream, and I love the job I am doing. But lately, I have had really low energy and motivation to the point where I don’t want to go out and do things like I used to. I always used to love getting out of the house and just walking around. AND I actually have a chance to explore another country right now and interact with people, but I just find it so hard to work up the energy to go out. I take 2-hour long naps very often as well, which is bizarre for me because I never even used to nap.
I also leave my dishes in the sink for days and let my room get a bit messy, and it’s just so hard for me to finally bite the bullet and clean it up. Again another lack of motivation.
I normally love to practice languages I’ve been learning and playing guitar in my free time, but lately I don’t feel motivated to do any of that. Normally in my free time right now I just scroll through social media.
And finally, I have had a pretty sucky appetite this past month. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel too lazy to make something for myself, but I also literally don’t feel the urge to eat much. So I’ve lost a little bit of weight this month.
On the other hand, it’s hard for me to think that this could be depression because why would this all come on so suddenly, when I’ve never suffered from depression before? I also don’t feel hopeless for the future or anything — I always have faith that things will get better. I still look forward to the future even though it’s uncertain. In fact, I have a trip back home coming up in 10 days that I am really looking forward to. I have an amazing support system—friends, family, and a romantic relationship—and I will see them all when I go back home. And when I do force myself to go out, I have lots of fun. It’s just when I come back home and lay in my bed that I feel like I fall into this trap. When I go home for the day, it’s hard to get me back out. Could anyone potentially explain this? Does it sound like depression?
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depression
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i'm 20 and i recently got diagnosed after months and months of trying, i did so much research and made huge lists of how all the "symptoms" affect my daily life/routine. i spoke with so many professionals and was asked extensive questions for months. I was diagnosed and put on meds back in august of this year. I didn't really tell anyone about it, i just felt like it wasn't their business. last week i was at my moms surprise birthday party and that was the first time i saw lots of family friends/ my moms best friends. I was asked so many times why i was so calm and quiet during the party and it dawned on me that this was the first time everyone was seeing me when i'm taking my meds.
I felt like it wasn't really a bad thing to tell them and boy was i wrong. it felt like every time i told someone i had gotten diagnosed, again with the millions of questions about "why now" or "you just wanted to take stimulants, huh?". not once did it feel like anyone genuinely believed me when i said i had gotten diagnosed, and it sucked.
i originally felt like this was a positive thing, like i finally had a name for something that i've been dealing with my whole life. but at the end of the night i just felt like crap. i felt like no matter what, everyone is always going to assume it's for stimulants or they're just gonna simply refuse to believe me. it kinda just made me feel stupid.
yesterday i went over to my parents house for my little sisters birthday party, and i purposely did not take my medication. for the first time ever my parents FINALLY realized how dumb they were to never notice all of the signs before. they noticed i was constantly speaking over people, that i wasn't really able to tell when it was my turn to speak. they noticed i would be doing something, immediately thing of something else and dropped everything to go do the other thing. there's so many other things that they pointed out to me last night, and even though nobody else's in the world believes that my diagnosis is accurate, im glad at least my parents do.
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ADHD
|
Been in therapy for a bit. About a month or so I think. I have been struggling with fully trusting them. Like I feel like they could betray me at any time. I have no proof of this. This person has told me they have no reason to not believe me or anything but I still don’t trust them, not fully anyway. I suppose it’s the same trust issues I have with everyone in my life.
Part of my thinks it’s because I am still learning their body language, facial expressions, and vocal tone and I still mask pretty heavily in session.
I’m pretty sure I pissed them off today too tbh. Even though I honestly don’t have any evidence of it.
Anyone else have issues with this?
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aspergers
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So I have came to the conclusion that I desperately need to see a therapist again I have a consult this week but I have no idea what kinda of questions I should ask what do yall think are good things so ask a new therapist??
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ptsd
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I've had this since I was a kid and I'm just realizing it's most likely OCD related. Essentially if I'm watching a movie and something pretty substantial happens in the plot, I need to be able to remember the entire movies plot points up until that point or I get frustrated.
"Ok so that happened because that character did X to Y. And Y did this in response. And the opening scene they talked about Z....and that's how we got here"
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OCD
|
I have recently become so so so so SCARED of death and sickness in loved ones. It has always been a theme for me but in the past few months it’s gone crazy. Every time I see somebody I love I think what if this is the last time I see them. I get intrusive thoughts about them dying and me being alone and I HAVE TO TOUCH WOOD OTHERWISE it means it’ll come TRUE and I can’t cope I can’t even enjoy the present moment anymore because I’m so scared of not being here or those I love not being here
Sure... I KNOW that me knocking on wood has no relation to the outcome at hand but when it’s the people you cherish most in the world it’s so hard to take the risk of not doing it in case you cause them harm. :( this is fucking horrible awful horrible nasty
Vent over thanks for listening
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OCD
|
Well a bit ago I decided to get serious about my ADHD. Well as we all know we have the executive dysfunction that prevents us from doing what we want. Anyways, my todo list looks as bad as my house. Yes, I’m medicated(straterra). But it’s not the wonder drug it once is was plus I’m having side effects. Namely, delayed ejaculations. Doc is trying to get me on a stimulant but he’s concerned about my heart. I’m trying to start a relationship with a girl. So I’m getting ready to quit straterra cold turkey. Don’t know if the girl will wait for me to get my meds straightened out. I’m also concerned about her wanting to come over. Ok. It’s not horrible but it’s not great. I’m sure with a fire under my ass I’ll be able to make it presentable with some clutter. Another option is to go back to my old psychiatrist which I have an appointment with. Never canceled it. Maybe I’ll just tell him to put me on a stimulant and I doubt he will ask me about my heart. At this point I don’t care if I die from a heart attack. There’s worth things than death, trust me. LOL. OK. I’m not quite sure what’s the purpose of this post but would appreciate hearing your input.
TIA
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ADHD
|
Hi, my OCD is so distressing that one of my fears is that I will never recover/it will never go away. I know a complete cure is rare but what I mean is that I want to go back to how I was before my OCD went insane as a result of trauma.
To make things worse my sister just triggered me on purpose by saying that it really will never go away. She’s mad at me and she keeps bringing my disorder into it. Now I’m worried.
What do I do about this theme?
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OCD
|
my starting dose of ritalin is 50mg, meant to last me the whole day, and i honestly can’t tell if it’s too much? i’ve only been taking it for one day so i expected some side effects, but i’ve been experiencing a large amount of social anxiety, a huge loss of appetite, and my head feels almost too empty? if that makes sense. should i just get used to the dose and keep going a bit longer or should i ask for a lower one??
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ADHD
|
Dr. Sam Greenblatt here with an article I've been meaning to write for a while. An obsessive fear of being "cancelled" or rejected by everyone around you, has been a rising trend in the clients I've worked with. Would love to hear this community's thoughts! For other articles like this, you can check out [Articles — Dr. Sam Greenblatt (squarespace.com)](https://samgreenblatt.squarespace.com/ocdarticles)
At some point in your life you’ve probably had some misconceptions about OCD. One idea you might have been that having OCD means being obsessed with cleanliness and handwashing. Interestingly, **there’s a reason behind this stereotype**. Folks with OCD often struggle with tolerating uncertainty, so they become aware of a nebulous threat, their OCD theme will sometimes latch on to it. Folks began to gain more awareness about OCD in the 80’s just around the time of the HIV/AIDS crisis. For years, knowledge on how the virus was contracted and spread was unknown and the concept was replete with rumors and misinformation. For many of those with OCD, their themes latched on to this fear and they developed contamination themed OCD. It’s my hypothesis that around the time that society developed an increased awareness of OCD, contamination themed OCD was the most prevalent theme.
I’ve noticed a similar trend amongst the patients I’ve treated in the past five years. One of the most impactful movements on our collective conscious in the past decade has been the #metoo movement. This movement calls upon society to legitimize survivors of sexual assault and hold those who commit these assaults accountable. As a result of this movement, some prominent figures have been “cancelled”, which is to say that as actions that they have taken to infringe upon the rights, comfort, and safety of others were revealed, there was a collective move to reject these figures and their work. When a person becomes cancelled they often lose their job, their friends, and sometimes even their family.
While the movement has garnered widespread support, many folks with OCD have noticed their fears latching on to the threat of being cancelled. The specifics of this theme have changed a bit over time. Around the time of #metoo many of my clients had obsessive fears that they had or would sexually harass another individual and become rejected by everyone around them. Some of these clients would obsessively review past experiences, such as parties or dates, to try to ensure that they hadn’t violated other’s boundaries. Others would hold their hands by their sides when around peers to ensure they wouldn’t impulsively reach out and harass someone. Yet others would try to block out, prevent, or obsessively analyze their intrusive thoughts around harassing people.
Since then, I have noticed more variations of this theme, with subsequent rises in fears of saying, thinking or doing something racist, sexist, transphobic, or homophobic. Clients may fear that they will commit an impulsive inappropriate action, that they have posted something on social media that will be (mis)construed as inappropriate, or that they have an opinion that is “known” to be unacceptable to everyone except for themselves. They will often review past, present, and future for signs that they will be rejected by those around them.
#### How is this treated?
Trick question! If you’ve read my article about OCD themes, you’ve already learned that all OCD themes are treated with the same principles, and this theme is no different. The goal of therapy is to help the client learn how to make decisions based on their own goals and values, rather than being controlled by an obsessive fear. In this case, the client learns how to tolerate the uncertainty that they may have or will do something that will result in them being rejected by everyone around them. Behavioral exposures include posting on social media, having conversations, and attending events **to the degree that the client determines they would normally do if they didn’t have OCD**. Imaginal exposures include tolerating the uncertainty that there will always be a possibility the client has or will do something that will get themselves cancelled.
I have found those with this theme to be just as treatable as any other, but there is **one barrier to treatment that is common to this theme and worth mentioning**. Sometimes prospective clients will delay seeking treatment for fear of revealing the content of their thoughts or actions to a clinician. The fear of getting confirmation that they are a terrible person keeps them away from therapy and stuck in the vortex of anxious thoughts in their mind. Of course once the client commits to bringing up their concerns in treatment the OCD can finally be worked on and they can start to live more peaceful and healthier lives. If you see yourself within this text I urge you to delay no further in getting the therapy you deserve.
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OCD
|
Just a couple of minutes ago, Elon Musk decided to say in SNL live that he has aspergers. When I first discovered Elon, I immediately identified he had a lot of things in common with me. I knew he had it, but I also knew that he went through it and learned to evolve and not close himself to a denomination such as "aspergers" to accomplish everything we want to share with humanity. I'm interesting in making all I can to make humanity evolve and finally see a place in where we can live with rationality as our flag. That's why encourage all of you to show yourselves and don't be afraid to take the first step to change the world. I hope all of you have a good time. And remember that when you think you may be alone, in the most unexpected moment, someone may show up and show you that you are not.
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aspergers
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I just want someone to feel physically what I feel like mentally. I’ve imagined who I’d do it to, how I’d do it and I just want it to stop.
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depression
|
on days like this i think about suicide. my way to go is to jump from a high location. i live on 3rd floor and the only thing stopping me is that im worried the place wont be high enough and i end up making things worse.. perhaps it is a good reason to not jump, im afraid i wont care sometime soon, what then? no one would see that coming and im not sure how i feel about it
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depression
|
Hello. I figured I’d ask here because I don’t want to bother any of my friends or family and it’s not really that urgent to go seek my therapists help. I just want to talk to somebody. I’m in a dark place and could use some advice. TW relapse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, SH. If you have a lending ear I’d appreciate the talk.
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ptsd
|
Hello! (TW for self-harm? kind of)
I’m currently in the process of getting an OCD diagnosis that I’ve asked for. The main reason I asked for it is because I have a horrible habit (or compulsion?) that I can’t control for the most part which makes me pick at my skin until it bleeds.
My therapist has given me a question sheet to fill out and I’m not sure how to answer it. I guess I don’t really understand the difference between an obsession vs. Extreme Anxiety (that’s what I think/thought I suffer from).
Can anyone give me more simplified examples on how OCDs affect your daily lives? Especially with things like cleaning/existentialism/being paranoid about general things (texting/saying the wrong thing/driving in the wrong lane/etc.).
I tried to read up on the condition but since english isn’t my first language I find it hard to process medical explanations :(
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OCD
|
Last week I watched this talk about mental health:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/10/25kopischke?lang=eng
It's from a church conference, but even if you don't actively participate in any faith, I hope that you'll take a few minutes to watch or listen. I think you'll find encouragement, at least in the knowledge that there are religious organizations that are aware of these challenges and are fighting against the stigma. Some quotes from the talk:
"Because mental illness can interfere with our perception of perfection, it remains all too often a taboo. As a result, there is too much ignorance, too much silent suffering, and too much despair. Many, feeling overwhelmed because they do not meet perceived standards, mistakenly believe they have no place in the Church."
"Challenges often indicate a need for additional tools and support and are not a character defect."
"...it can be difficult for parents to identify their children’s struggles, but we must educate ourselves... Again, educating ourselves about mental illness prepares us to help ourselves and others who might be struggling."
Be well friends, and know that there are more people advocating for you than you realize!
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ADHD
|
17m. I have suffered from ocd my whole life but only just diagnosed a year ago.
Over a year ago, I was starting to get really depressed and at that time something triggered my ocd where I started to think what if I have been molested as a child. So that was really traumatic and I would look back at all my memories and analyse them. I would have vivid images of people in my family molesting me and horrible traumatic things like that. I’d ask for reassurance and do compulsions to god. I still don’t know whether I have been molested as a child because ocd has distorted all my childhood memories.
This went on for so long and really hurt. I had Suicide attempts and eventually I was put on anti depressants. They don’t really work. I have skipped the whole school year.
Then this got worse as I thought what if I’m the pedophile. This is just debilitating. All day and everyday I have horrible images in my head and take pictures of my penis to not have any false memories of me being aroused by the thoughts. I cnat go near kids or family members. I can t masturbate due to the intrusive thoughts. I hate myself. I have no friends but I have my girlfriend and she’s the only thing I care about. And I can’t even have that coz my ocd thinks that she’s cheating on me and I like that. Which is so fucking annoying and hurts badly as it is not true.
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OCD
|
im happier just looking for reasurance honestly. I feel like I’m at my wits end, i hate these damn thoughts and how they are fucking sexual. Im just tired of this shit. It feels like i want to do these things and I’m scared to be alone with certain people and things. I don’t want to say, well maybe i am these things. I feel ok, but also not ok, idk. People telling me that i could be these things and that I’ll never know makes me super upset and idk sometimes. I feel pleasure when i get aroused and get groinal responses from these thoughts which make me upset. Im worried i would enjoy bad porn or something and typing this makes me kinda spiral because i also get real event ocd and use the not so bad things ive done to make myself believe im the literal worst
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OCD
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My abuse/direct contact with my abuser ended about 6 years ago. After my freshman year of high school I never had classes with him again, but he was obviously still around at school. It wasn’t until I moved out of the state that I realized how much just his presence inhibited my healing, even when I wasn’t around him. I guess subconsciously I was still terrified of him being around, the few times I ran into him freshman year were incredibly jarring. After we graduated I remained local for about a year, and still grew fearful that I might see him somewhere. It kept me from enrolling in the nearby community college because that’s where he went. But at that point I had been ignoring it. It wasn’t until I moved out of the state about a year and a half ago that I realized how much just his possible presence inhibited my healing, even when I wasn’t around him. Not knowing where he was and when terrified me, but I never felt the need to check in.
About six months ago after I switched therapists, I developed a habit of checking in on him online. I don’t know if it’s curiosity or what, but it feels compulsive. I’m dying for any details about what he’s doing, how he is, what he’s like, where he is, when I’m now 1000 miles away. It started because I knew he was getting ready to transfer to a university, and I was terrified he would end up transferring here. I’ve confirmed that he isn’t, and still I check.
I’m thinking I feel the need to be in control. During my abuse he threatened to track me down and drug me, so that I “wouldn’t know what would happen next.” Now I have nightmares about him popping up in my life again, and COVID honestly makes it worse. I wonder if he were to show up at my work if I would even recognize him under a mask. I’m extremely worried when I have no reason to, I doubt he even thinks of me in his day to day life let alone plans to travel 1000 miles to ambush me. I know it’s irrational but I can’t seem to stop. Does anyone else do this, or have you figured out how to stop?
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ptsd
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I just started taking meds for my ADHD (I never realized how severe I had it until college) and at first, it was amazing. Before meds, I feel like I couldn't start any tasks because it was too hard to envision the steps it would take to carry out the task, but now I can see exactly how to tackle everything I do, and it feels great. Even the subtler aspects of ADHD went away like my anxiety, my rejection sensitivity, etc. Overall, I'm glad I'm on them and I feel exponentially more productive.
Problem is, I've noticed *other* things that have appeared since I started taking Adderall. One of the weirdest things I've noticed is that my vocabulary is harder to get ahold of. I used to be able to know exactly what word I needed to use to describe something and now I have to sit on it longer to remember what the word was to the definition I needed. I also feel like my sensory issues are *so much worse.* I haven't had a sensory breakdown in years and I had three in a week. It feels like something else is going on now that the ADHD isn't blocked anymore. I had the other typical symptoms at first like loss of appetite, mood swings, etc., but these other things I find strange.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
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ADHD
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Because I have adhd and I believe I have aspergers. I talk too much and I'm well aware or it. And I can sense that it bores people because they are never as interested as i am in that topic
While if you actually teach me something new I can listen to you for hours but it's very rare because most of the time I already know the concept.
I learn so many things. And I want to share.
After my depression disorder got full cured (2018 August) I became like a blank person. My whole life was to run from depression now I'm peaceful and naked (aimless).
And I can sense my ego self better (thinking mind)
Again in this post I talked too much.
I'm so sick of it. I lose friends. I'm not normal. I over explain things. I wasn't like this (or I wasn't self aware and I was OK lol)
I hope I can find a good resolution to my fucking retard social skills. People probably find me a buzz killer.
I am always like oh I talked too much.
I don't know what will change me
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aspergers
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If you have TRD, (Treatment Resistant Depression) I would suggest looking into Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I've been depressed for 17 years, and i'm only 23. About to be 24. I feel like its not going anywhere. I don't want to be a depressed 60 yr old. I cant imagine life continuing like this. Sooner or later I feel like it'll win, no matter how many antidepressants I take, no matter how many therapies I go to, ect.
Look into TMS.
Also, look into ECT. (Electroconclusive Therapy).
They both shock your brain. ECT has more side effects, js.
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depression
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