body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
After years of burying down abandonment trauma (losing a parent at 15 and watching him die), my mental health needed attention. I am finally in therapy and performing EMDR to process my trauma.
In the meantime of being a 20-something and trying to live life, I’ve been experiencing a ton of difficulties, specifically around relationships. I’ve only ever been able to “feel” love towards one person. I always ends up stuck. Unable to feel. Massive confusion about whether or not I have feelings for the person. Unable to relax. Cannot be present. And terrified of sexual intimacy.
I’m just wondering if anyone can relate or had any advice for doing work outside of therapy to heal.
Thank you ❤️
|
ptsd
|
So it’s a bit weird I think.
It feels like my meds stay in my system for too long. If I take a second 10mg IR Medikinet pill at noon I have insomnia and a high heart rate after they wear off, despite my heart rate being pretty normal before and while the meds are working.
I’ve only recently started taking 2 pills a day, is this some side effect that will go away? It only happens when I take that second pill of the day, no problems otherwise.
It’s frustrating cause I have no side effects except for this.
|
ADHD
|
i’ve been on adderall for like a month and a half. i’m on 40mg at this point and i feel absolutely no change. there’s been a number of medications that don’t help with my mental health issues and i just feel completely helpless, not even adderall that i’ve heard works for everyone with or without adhd will work for me. in fact the only thing it’s done is make me irritated all the time.
|
ADHD
|
I've been dealing with TOCD for almost 2 years now. I feel like I'm finally at the end of this horrendous OCD theme but there's still one feeling that keeps me thinking and that is whenever someone talks bad about women like "Women should stay in the kitchen." I feel sadness and i don't know why is this anxiety just hiding behind a made up feeling or is it something else?
|
OCD
|
I recently went through a rough brake up, there were problems on both ends but I have been damaged so much from the things she's done to me and it's caused a lot of problems. For some context, I'm young, I'm 16 and she's 15. During the relationship she constantly blamed me for everything bad that happened and got mad at me for talking to anyone else when she was lying to me about where she was doing that and blamed me for being controlling when I even slightly spoke against her. It lasted 8 months. At the end of it all we were both drained, but I was going to quickly be in for so much worse. There are so so many things that she's done to me and the one that's causing the most problems for me is how she's accusing me of sexual assault. For context we had done things together but I always made sure I had consent and I always remained respectful and always asked how she felt about things before I ever did anything because I have been raped before so I had triggers and I tried my hardest to be the best for her. Now she's claiming that I sexually assaulted her and she's telling her friends and posting stories that are triggering me so hard. I've had nightmares where I woke up crying almost about to scream in the middle of the night and almost constantly I'm so anxious that my stomach is upset. I nearly vomit when I see a notification cause my brain tells me it's her or One of her friends. She's had her friends call me horrible names and tell me to kill myself and whenever I confront her she calls me horrible things and says I'm horrible and makes me the bad guy and tbh, it works. I always end up Blaming myself. This may all seem like an over exageration but I'm serious, she affects me in such a strong way that it affects me physically. She claims I did things to her wich straight up triggers my PTSD and she also gave me another Kind of PTSD. Idk what to do anymore, I live my life in fear and guilt over things I didn't and wouldn't do. My heart rate is always high and it feels like my heart is in my stomach, my stomach feels upside down and I've always got a Migraine. I fucking hate my life, it's painful and I don't think I'll ever fully recover and this PTSD won't be going away. Before her I wanted to start a family one day and be the father I always dreamed to have, but now I'm so scared to Get into a relationship and I even have anxiety to be near women and children because I'm afraid they'll hurt me too. My trust for people has gone away and I'm scared to be close with anyone. This is the first time I've opened up in awhile.. Idk what to do and it's tearing me apart. Everytime I try and defend myself in labelled as a victim blammer and people think I'm absolutely horrible. I've been told to ignore it and move on but I can't, you see. I wanna be a politician one day, I wanna help people but if this gets out it doesn't matter that I didn't do it. People won't care. It'll be a scandal and my career would be over. She's not only stripped me of my life and comfort but she's stripped me of my career choice out of fear. Idk what to do and I'm rapidly loosing hope on continuing.
TLDR I'm wrongfully accused of sexual assault by someone I once loved with all my soul and I can't defend myself, my whole life and career is at risk. I'm only 16...
|
ptsd
|
Stopping citalopram (celexa) UPDATE
Link to last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/r0kv8a/stopping_citalopram_celexa/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
It’s been just over a week since I dropped from 20mg to 10mg straight away and here’s a few things I notice, enjoyment of busting a nut has quite literally doubled, dopamine responses in general have gotten much better.
Mornings are noticeably more difficult to get through with the lack of serotonin, feeling irritable and nauseous before work. Due to this I don’t think I’m able to stop citalopram for pure chemical reasons, the lack of serotonin my brain produces is not enough to make me suicidal straight away again but I think over time it would get harder to cope with
God, why can’t I be happy AND enjoy busting nuts?
I know it’s still early days since dropping the dose but I have to work and It makes it ten times for difficult feeling like I’m about to throw up beforehand
|
depression
|
Hi, today was about 8 9 hrs low quality sleep and around 13 14 hrs of extreme worry, feeling of extreme frustration, wanting to rip out my brain etc etc. Then for the last 30 40 mins I am just hopeful again? Like dunno how this works. Jesus christ. Now I don't think it matters if I'm sick, if I'm disabled, if I'm ever gonna be okay, not afraid of thoughts telling me I'm gay, etc. I'm so mature about it now. I mean I was too before but the bout of anxiety was so much that my body heated cuz of it. Started to pick off my skin etc. Currently been about an hour. And just to enjoy this one hour I rewarded myself with 0.5 xanax. Jesus christ this condition is a joke.
|
OCD
|
Is there a reason? Is it even real depression if you don't know the reason?
I mean, I've only got some family problems(My mom routinely hits me with a wooden spoon, and also is forcing me to do all christian things without being christian).
Like, no PTSD, no specific thing to be sad about, I'm just kinda sad all the time. What do I do?
|
depression
|
I have ocd. I often think about hurting loved ones, for example pushing someone in front of a train, stabbing them, pushing them off from high places, ruining something they put effort into or something important to them. When I first started having these toughts I didn't realise I had OCD, since the urge was little (btw this was 3 years ago I'm 17 now). The toughts started getting more and more agressive and had a stronger and stronger urge. They also came waaay more time, now they come at least once after being with someone I like. I discovered that OCD was a thing a year ago so I got much better at handling it. I didn't want to kill myself after these toughts, I just ignored most of them. As of now though, it is getting way harder to controll and ignore this. These tought keep getting more and more tempting. I also started thinking "What if I did this? what would happen?" and it is very hard to resist it, now I need to step a few meters away from the train tracks and put my hands in my pocket. I fear that one day I will cross a line I should never cross. I do not know how to keep my sanity intact with all this shit constantly reminding me to do things I don't want to.
I hope that made sense
Also I am not depressed, I have highs (not too happy most times, but maybe an ok or even happy on my lucky days), but the lows are VERY FUCKING LOW
Just had to put my thoughts out there, I hope someone will find any meaning in this.
|
OCD
|
Short-term relief = 2 pills, permanent relief = 1 bottle
I'm so tired of these over-the-counter pain relievers and heartless "friends"
|
depression
|
I need some advice
I’m a sexual assault survivor, when I was younger and once by an ex girlfriend. Recently with a new girl who also happens to be a survivor who recently went through it about 3 years ago. I cared about her and always wanted to keep her happy. As a young couple we were intimate. Had sex maybe 3 times a week. I thought she was into it because she would send me freaky text messages and pictures throughout the day. About a month ago she had a ptsd nightmare and put my face to the guys face. It started off hey saying her therapist said I had a sex problem and I respected her words. I signed up for therapy a day later to be told differently. She told me and my homie that she realized she just got triggered, told me she still loved me but was scared of me, I gave her the space she asked for and she came back into my life saying I assaulted her so I told her I apologize I made her feel that way. But to me it feels like she’s trying to change what happened in the past or how it happened like she’s trying to remember what didn’t happen. She stalks my account on Instagram. I don’t text too many people on insta so I see when she blocks me and unblocks me every other day and once she accidentally liked a picture. She had multiple accounts too so I don’t know if she’s watching me on the other ones. She called me out for posting me missing her videos on tiktok but she doesn’t follow me or I follow her. Ig I’m here asking for advice, it’s been a month, has anyone gone through something similar? I’m trying to be as nice as possible to her because I understand she had trauma before I hoped in this relationship but it’s kind of scary. I love the girl still but i don’t know what to do. I tried apologizing and she wanted to see me in person and hang out and she would have a panic attack and flake. Now it seems she’s done with me but she’s also stalking me so I’m super confused
|
ptsd
|
I have been diagnosed with PTSD for about 7 years now after I experienced trauma as a child from a sexual assault. It has affected my relationships, which I have desperately worked on for a long time.
I am currently dating this girl I knew from high school. I'll just call her "Julia". She also deals with mental illness, but lately, it has become unbearable to talk to her about my mental health.whenever I do feel comfortable enough to bring up a nightmare or flashback of an event that bothers me, she seems to do this thing where she tries to "one-up" me. Julia makes it seem like mental illness is a competition. It's gotten to where when I need to talk to her for comfort, she immediately changes the subject to herself and how she has it worse than me. She also has this nasty habit of sharing extemely personal details with anyone she calls her friend. It's made talking to friends really awkward because a conversation about something like our friend's day can immediately turn into the story of how Julia's mom treated her. Julia's oversharing has gotten to the point that she has triggered a mental breakdown for me by graphically describing an assault. I've started to question whether or not the things she says are true. I have already caught her lying about how the car accident happened that has made driving terrifying for her. She told me she fell asleep, but I learned later from her father and a couple of friends that she had actually been on her phone when it happened. I'm there to comfort her through it, but it doesn't feel like I get to receive that same comfort from her.
I've gotten to the point that I feel too uncomfortable to share how I am feeling or what I am thinking about. I get Julia needs to process things and talk about them too, but I really just need to be able to have one conversation dedicated to just how I'm feeling. I feel like that is selfish, but the way our conversations are going is not helping me.
Julia has told me that I need to get a handle on my PTSD right now since I have been an emotionally unstable mess. She has also been telling me I have been doing things I don't even remember doing or know why I would do them. This has made me a little mad since she is bipolar and has been neglecting her meds for an extremely long time while I have take my medicine religiously. I guess I don't understand why I need so much help when she isn't getting help for herself.
I have been starting to feel extremely anxious and depressed. It's gotten to where I cry myself to sleep, and I have no idea why. I have also lost my sex drive, and it has caused a couple of fights because she feels that I am no longer attracted to her.
I really have no idea what is going on with me or where to start to get better. I thought I was making progress with my mental health, but it seems I have lunged backwards.
Is it normal for our relationship to be like this? Am I over-reacting about her over-sharing and competitiveness? Is it normal to be this distrusting of my partner? Is this a way she is trying to show she needs help, or is she not telling the truth, like her family and some of friends claim?
Edit: wording in the second paragraph.
|
ptsd
|
How do you support a partner with ptsd after they have seen and done so much stuff that you can’t even begin to comprehend ? My partner is in a really bad head space right now and just asked to be alone and is shutting everyone out. I tell him I’m there for him but he refuses any help or interaction with me. He thankfully has an appointment with his psychiatrist tomorrow and his physiologist as well.
|
ptsd
|
Every little thing just breaks me a little bit and it's never-ending. My tinnitus. The people in this house yelling. The way everyone constantly talks down to me. The smell of whatever they're cooking. So much more. Oh, and if anything has my partner stressed? I'm helpless and can just watch. It's just painful. Everything is. How can you folks stand to keep going some days?
|
aspergers
|
I know there is many ways Aspergers can present itself so that’s why I ask the question. My entire life I’ve always thought I might have Aspergers, but there are certain traits I don’t identify with. I’ve never been able to click with people or socialize well. I’ve had people tell me I’m “slow” or something seems a little bit off. Yet when I am in my thoughts I feel very self aware.
One of the main traits you hear people mention when they talk about Aspergers is a lack of social understanding. For me, I seem to understand social cues yet I am incapable of performing themself. For instance, I can tell when someone is annoyed but I tend to show no emotion ( especially when around people I don’t know). Most people would describe me as awkward, but I am aware of what is happening.
One more thing is that I understand sarcasm ( often sarcastic myself) and I would describe myself as a very sensitive person even though I don’t show this externally. I think probably other people with Aspergers can relate to this, but I am asking because it’s not the stereotypical completely socially disconnected kind of Aspergers. Is it possible I just have a mild form of Aspergers?
|
aspergers
|
I don't know if I have ADHD yet, I'm waiting to get assessed. Skipping school has been a major issue for me since 5th grade. It has pretty much ruined my life, but I can't stop doing it. Could this be ADHD-related? It is very hard for me to do things I don't enjoy in general. Even when they are really important, like school. This has pretty much been the main problem in my life for 6 years. I know it's ruining my life and making me unhappy, but I can't get myself to go to school. This was at its worst in middle school, and I became depressed and extremely socially anxious. I got described antidepressants, and they worked for maybe 2 weeks, then things went back to how they were before. I'm not as depressed or socially anxious now, but I'm still skipping school and struggling with the same issues. Can any of you relate to this?
TL;DR: Could skipping school be caused by ADHD?
|
ADHD
|
Obviously I’m only leaving to get groceries, and I didn’t have any kind of social life before all of this to speak of so I never really “went out” anyway, but now that I’m ordering all my necessities online and spacing out my grocery trips, when I do go out I realize now how truly bad my paranoia and fight or flight response is; constantly on the look out for an “attack”. Even just taking a walk. During and hours afterward my head is spinning with flashbacks of all the times I wasn’t able to better protect myself or stand my ground from people and it all hits like a crushing weight leaving me scattered and completely unable to remember or focus on anything the rest of the day. It’s not the pandemic, it’s the extended breaks from leaving my house where I’m meditating, reading, showing myself I actually can function like a normal human being etc to being COMPLETELY thrown back into total dysfunction and spiraling and total fight or flight the rest of the day just from leaving my apartment for a quick errand and being around other people, who are inherently a “threat”. Global plague or not.
|
ptsd
|
idk what i should have said in that situation... whenever i see that face i feel horrible
|
ptsd
|
bad thoughts meaning things that happened to me in my dark past, :( it keeps on coming back and I always have to try and find people to look to, I always tell my friends I am okay and that person is helping me but I always keep on lying a little bit sometimes, I just wish this would go away so I can be happy for once in my life without my fake smile
|
depression
|
I am unsure if touch aversion and OCD have any correlation together.
I have always felt "uneasy" about being touched since childhood. I am not sure if it is more related to my sexual abuse trauma/PTSD and not knowing someone's true intentions when touching me, or my OCD and fear of contamination/germs. I have never liked anyone, including my parents, touching my face and hugs makes me feel like I'm suffocating. My neurodiverse husband struggles with boundaries and I'm afraid to tell him that I am averse to touch. I am his first real partner and he often plays into the stereotypical tropes of a relationship, the ones that are showcased in fictional movies and tv shows. Sometimes I am okay with it if I am the initiator, but I don't want anything back. I also feel discomfort with sexual intimacy. When I was an early teenager, I was hyper-sexual, but I didn't engage in sex until the age of 21. As I've gotten older, and with the influence of antidepressants and SSRIs, my sex drive has nearly died off. When my spouse tries to initiate intercourse, I am uninterested and come up with some excuse. When I am touched I feel anxious and angry. I don't know what to do about the aversion. Any advice?
|
OCD
|
I was assaulted by a caregiver who also played out a fantasy on me as a child and I have ptsd. My boyfriend says things that trigger me and seems to have a hard time understanding abuse.
Flare up from a trigger ptsd physical abuse
I’ll try to keep this short but also explain what’s going on. Also, do not respond to this with your personal views on discipline and spanking.
A little back story: I have been diagnosed by a professional with ptsd due to severe physical violence in my childhood. I never processed it and now it is still with me. Basically, this incident includes a babysitter who beat me and carried out a fantasy of his on me. He called it a spanking, so that if I told someone it would sound like he didn’t do anything wrong. Now I have ptsd and all sorts of triggers around physical discipline, corporal punishment, spanking, etc.
Flash forward: I’m in my 30s and have a boyfriend. Until this happened we didn’t know about each other’s views. We were in a Starbucks and I was talking about how to keep my cat off the counter without spraying him because i tried it and it was ineffective. He replied by saying “Its only abuse if you’re beating someone.” That really triggered me. Especially since that is so verifiably false. Then in the car he asked what was bothering me because I got scared and clammed up. I told him he scared me when he said that and he replied “When I was a kid and I did something wrong, my mom used to make me find a stick in the woods and bring it home and she would spank me with it.” But he told me sort of forcefully. He also adamantly denied that spanking is a form of hitting. And he has no problem hitting pets because “that’s what works.”
I had some breakdowns and had a deeper conversation with him about how those things affect me and he showed compassion by trying to understand and listening. He also apologized for triggering me saying he had no idea it affected me that bad and now he’s very careful about that. And he admitted that if we ever had kids physical discipline would be off the table because I’m uncomfortable with it. I also opened up to some of the details and although he ended up soothing me saying things like “this wasn’t your fault, and you didn’t do anything to cause it.” But the first thing he said to me describing the assault was “what did you do?” I told him it was unhelpful and I felt super hurt. And he said “well I just want to know what happened. I just want to know if it was provoked.” I was pissed because I was literally opening up about severe abuse and he asked if I provoked it. I had to explain to him that no I didn’t provoke it before he softened. He also keeps wanting me to tell him more of the gory details. I don’t know if it’s. Because he genuinely wants to understand Or because he is going to form an opinion on what happened to me instead of just believing me.
I felt soothed for a while but I keep fixating on his initial beliefs. Those things he said really really bother me. How much of this is ptsd and how much is him having red flags? I know I need to talk to him about this more but I’m worried about his beliefs.
Also, to add an extra layer, I have a spanking fetish. He knows about the fetish, and the assault, but not how much of it is related to spanking. I’m afraid of the embarrassment of him realizing it.
|
ptsd
|
She thinks I have a problem that can easily be fixed. I'm always told that. She gets mad because I don't pick up on cues of her driving anxiety. She got promoted and all I said was Congratulations to her because she refuses flowers. Now mind you, she's diabetic and still eats all kinds of taboo foods. I baked her a fresh apple pie with a lattice top (I was a chef) and she didn't eat it. I get the cold shoulder in intimacy (not sex, those are two different things) and my condition makes me take it personally times 100. I'm not doing a good job of explaining my ADHD because I don't want her to judge me for it. All I hear when there is an argument is "you're a grown man, when are you going to learn to communicate?" Literally part of me wants to just leave. I'm not happy with the rejection and she isn't willing to understand this is a condition I have that's not going anywhere. I cannot tell you the level of anxiety, depression, and guilt I have on a daily basis. It's always my fault. I wish I didn't have this problem.
|
ADHD
|
Hey guys, I’ve had OCD for years and I’ve started having new issues. I’ve battled with Intrusive thoughts since I was about 10.
The past few months I’ve started to really hate myself. I mean like no self care or love at all. And I’ve started to almost question reality. Things like “is this all real?” “What’s the point?” And I’ve also noticed if I say something I’ll question myself like “why did I say that? Is that the real you talking?” It’s almost like I feel like I’m not being my true self, if that makes sense at all. It’s like I’m not letting myself be happy and I’m over analyzing everything I do. Does anyone else do anything like this? And if so, how do you help deal with it?
|
OCD
|
I feel so alone at the moment. I have so many feelings and I don’t know how to describe them.
I want someone to notice how I’m feeling and understand me, but I can’t stop masking and pretending that everything is okay. I’m not okay and I haven’t been okay for a while.
There are people in my life but I can’t tell them anything. I want to, but I can’t. My brain doesn’t let me, my mouth doesn’t let me.
I feel like I’m going to be mocked.
I feel like even if that didn’t happen that nobody would be able to understand what I’m feeling anyway. Because they aren’t like me. They have their own struggles as well, but the way they navigate the world is different to me. I feel desperate to be understood by them.
I don’t even want to confide in the people who would understand me. I don’t want to talk about my feelings and struggles to anyone, and yet I want someone to be there for me and instantly know how to make me feel better.
There are people who would want to help me, but I don’t feel safe to share my feelings with them.
I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here, but I just feel really awful. I’ve not been eating properly these past few months, and I woke up way too early for work and can’t get back to sleep because I can’t stop thinking. I have to “wake up” in half an hour.
I can’t even cry my feelings out. I wish that I could cry for hours but I can barely even let out a single tear. It feels like there’s no relief.
I don’t know the point of this post and I’m sorry for rambling without even explaining why I feel the way that I do.
I think I just want some mindless encouragement before I have to exist today.
|
aspergers
|
My feelings aren't felt right. I don't have actual feelings, they're all cognitive emotions and because of this, when an emotion builds up and can't be released normally, it releases in physical pain.
I get taken advantage of and yelled at a lot because of misunderstandings. I get yelled at because I think somethings a joke or someone's being serious or I misunderstood the true meaning of what was said and people get annoyed with me for it even tho I thought everything was fine.
I get taken advantage of, especially at work, and I don't know how to process this or fix the issue without being a snitch and sounding like an annoying toddler because I've already complained so much about the situation.
I'm so angry right now I have a massive headache and I'm holding back tears because I don't know what to do with my job but I'm not going to work anywhere else so I just have to keep dealing with the bs. I just want to stop being taken advantage of and made to be the bad guy because I'm the only one that actually does my job
|
aspergers
|
Hi! I'm new to this community but I'm hoping to get some advice. I was diagnosed about four months
ago and started adderall. I got to a dosage that I feel is working almost two months ago and I was doing
pretty good. Irritability was down, productivity was up, and I was slowly but surely building some routines and healthy habits for myself. Until about
two weeks ago when a few things started popping up. I have some trauma/grief surrounding my family and the holidays, my already high-stress job has been extra busy, and there’s been
an influx of angry and unreasonable clients. Everything combined has my stress levels through the roof and it's brought back the irritability, my
focus is worse, and the schedule and habits I was forming have gone out the window. I have absolutely no idea how to cope with stress in a healthy way. My
tactics prior to diagnosis and meds was eating comfort food and numbing myself with tv, my phone, smoking, and shutting down emotionally. I really don't want to resort to these methods but I can already feel myself slipping. Any and all advice is appreciated! Thank you in advance!
TLDR- my stress levels are through the roof, I have no idea how to manage it, and I feel like my life is starting to fall apart. Please help!
Note- I'm already in therapy but I just started, I've literally had two sessions. My therapist suggested I do "stress check-ins" throughout the day but I don't see how that will help. I already know I'm stressed, need to know how to manage the stress. Plus that's just another thing to schedule in and try to remember to do which is also stressful.
|
ADHD
|
Stay off of Reddit !!!! That’s how you create new fears, by constantly reading stories of people who never get better and get stuck. The best resource I have found is Robert bray and the ocd recovery YouTube channel it is the best content you can get for free. Please give it a chance you will not regret it it talks all about the journey and getting rid of fears.
|
OCD
|
Hey folks, I'm struggling with the idea that Im always leaking urine. I know this is pretty common and incontinence can be caused by OCD, and it's honestly ruining my life. I'm trying to get meds as soon as possible, but I don't know what to do or what the 'normal ' is.
I recently checked my underwear to see a little splot of yellow. I immediately thought it was pee. I'm wearing a pad, even if it WAS pee, I logically know that it wouldn't have mattered at all. But I can't stop obsessing and am currently fighitng the urge to do all of my bedding and laundry.
​
Help appreciated :)
|
OCD
|
I'm really finding methylphenidate useful. Definitely a good thing.. but I get a lot of headaches, often mid afternoon onwards I start to feel rough and headaches as it wears off. I realise this is mostly a rebound head ache.. but I was wondering if anyone who experiences this has any advice that might help other than ruining my liver by popping ibuprofen all the time..?? Thanks x
|
ADHD
|
So my therapist suspects I have OCD. She’s had me see a psychiatrist in the past and based on his evaluation I had nothing. Even a psychiatrist before that said I don’t have anything. So 2 psychiatrists. But recent events have pushed her to say there’s a good chance I have it, maybe a more mild case?
I tend to have rotating obsessions. In University when I was doing my major we had to pick out what concentration we wanted to do. I am a very indecisive person and I was googling and looking on Reddit forums for months the same search over and over again trying to figure it out.
When I got my first job I would obsess over the optimal 401k allocation that I would lose hours in the day just looking up and being indecisive over which funds to pick. I would lookup and get varying opinions and lookup the same thing over and over again, hoping for different answers. I would be so obsessed with finding the optimal allocation that I would even not pay attention to work.
I had an irregular fasting glucose blood result and would search on Reddit and medical forums over and over again because some people said an irregular fasting glucose doesn’t mean prediabetes since my A1C was normal and some people said it can be, even with a normal A1C result. Since May 2021 I have almost constantly been googling the same thing, hoping for a different answer, never being satisfied. I even bought a blood glucose meter.
When I drive I fear I will hit a pedestrian by accident and go to jail and my life will be ruined. I am constantly checking to make sure no pedestrian jaywalks or that if I make a turn on a green light that there’s no one crossing the street.
And today. I freaked out over whether or not my therapist officially diagnosed me with OCD. Even though I knew most likely she hasn’t (or hasn’t yet) I would keep googling whether diagnosed OCD is a disqualifier for a pilot’s license (the answer was it depends). My dream is to get my pilot’s license and all day I lost countless hours being anxious and googling stuff. Oh and I also spent countless hours trying to optimize which color to get for a car I’m buying. I’ve wasted so much time today with worrying, even though I need to study for a job interview :(
My weird quirks are that I don’t like having the volume at 13. Besides that I don’t do stuff like check the stove. Or clean my hands over and over.
But my overall issue in life is obsessing and spending countless hours over finding the optimal solution to random things. Mostly through internet searches.
|
OCD
|
I’m currently undiagnosed for ADHD but have been wanting to get an assessment for so long because my mental health issues are seriously hindering my ability to function on a daily basis. The reason why I suspect ADHD is because I’ve spent a lot of time procrastinating on tasks i need to do by reading up on ADHD related journals, posts, videos etc and I always find way too many parallels between my experiences and the the experiences of people with ADHD. t feels very confusing being stuck in this limbo of being undiagnosed because if I can’t name my problem or get confirmation, then how can I fix it?
My pet peeve when it comes to seeking advice about mental health issues and ADHD is when you’re just told to go see a doctor or mental health professional and get treated with medication. I’ve always considered it “non-advice” advice because I think a lot of people are aware that seeing a professional will make things better for them, but let’s be realistic, treatment and medication are unaffordable for a lot of people, including myself. So unless the person giving the “advice” is willing to shell out the cash to pay for the treatment, it’s quite unhelpful in my opinion and it’s frustrating to hear and makes you feel hopeless.
I have had experience talking to both a psychiatrist and therapist in the past, not about ADHD though but the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. The problem is I didn’t last 4 sessions before I had to stop seeing them because of the cost of medication and the sessions. The same thing happened with the therapist a couple years later.
I feel very stuck and everyday I think i’m just getting worse. I try to read up on methods to manage my mental health issues without medication and a professional to guide me but they don’t seem to be very effective and i feel it’s much harder to get myself to get the right outlook without medication.
|
ADHD
|
Hello!
So my PTSD stems from a single traumatic event that happened when I was young involving the suicide of my father (there's more to it)
Apparently a side effect of that is that whenever someone close to me has a risk on their life, I don't take it very well.
In February, my longterm boyfriend needed to be rushed to the hospital for sudden abdominal pain that has since presented itself as crohn's disease and he had a blockage being caused by inflammation
We didn't know that at first and I had the worst panic attack of my life because some part of me was convinced this was the end
Ever since then, I have had sensitivity to hospitals and they give me the same trigger feelings as things regarding my original trauma.
Is this normal? Is this related to PTSD or something else? I personally wouldn't consider what happened with my boyfriend to be as traumatic as what happened originally but I'm still feeling awful about it.
|
ptsd
|
You know the worse part of suicidal thoughts? When they are right...
I hate myself, I hate being useless, I hate not being able to do something, I hate being left behind, how did I end up here? I don't know, I just want to rest...
|
depression
|
I have several chemical imbalances in my body. I have diabetes which causes an imbalance in my glucose. I have hypogonadism which causes an imbalance of my hormone levels. I also have depression which causes a chemical imbalance of dopamine and serotonin. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my entire life and know how crippling this disease is.
The biggest thing I do when I am feeling depressed, lonely, worthless, hopeless, the worst human on earth, you get the idea, is that I remind myself that the thoughts I am having are not the real me. These self-destructive thoughts are my disease. I call it my “brain disease”. I try to separate my negative thoughts in my head from the real me. I tell myself I need to get through this flare up of bad thoughts. Nobody with any type of disease doesn’t feel like themselves. When you have a bad cold, you are tired, lose your sense of taste and smell, and don’t want to eat. If you have a cold, you don’t feel “normal” until the cold goes away. Your disease could be a cold, cancer, diabetes, hypogonadism, COVID, or depression.
These illnesses do not define who you are. They need to be treated by a medical professional. I know with depression the trick is to find the right medication and the right dose. You need to be in constant communication with your doctor about how you are feeling. If the medication is not working for you, it is time to change the medication now and not wait until your next three-month appointment. One thing the pandemic has opened up is access to telemedicine. If you do not like your doctor, you can get a new doctor and therapist from virtually anywhere at a fraction of the cost of physically going to see a doctor.
TL;DR: Your depression is not who you are and doesn’t define you. Be proactive in seeking help to get better the same way you would for any disease.
|
depression
|
Hi there everyone, remember that tonight and many other nights in the year will have the shiniest trigger of them all, fireworks. Bit of advice on how to handle them: Don't ask people to stop them (it won't help the situation and you'll probably regret asking later on), if you absolutely can't handle it then put on some headphones and listen to something catchy (helped me get through some rough times in Afghan), and for the long term, try to get used to being around them. As long as I'm aware they're coming I can condition myself to not acknowledge them, thanks to exposure therapy. Remember to keep someone available to contact if needed and get something to eat and drink. Stay safe and happy new year.
|
ptsd
|
Whenever I read a sentence and there is even the slightest bit of ambiguity, it causes me absurd, morbid anxiety. I hate not knowing which interpretation is the correct one, as if there is ever a single correct account. I'll often run through the same sentence in my head for days until I feel that I understand it, though in reality I usually grasp it no better at the end than I did at the beginning. The exercise is merely to ease this gnawing in my head, which calls for compulsive repetition and concentration; and until it is satisfied, I cannot say that I have successfully read the sentence.
I love to read and to learn, but OCD makes it far more painstaking than it really ought to be. And the more interested I am in this or that bit of writing, the worse is my obsession-compulsive treatment of it. That is not so good.
|
OCD
|
I keep writing out posts like this, looking for answers about how someone like me, with all the issues I have, who thinks the way I think, can get better. Not even good, just better. Just in some small way better. Hell, I think half the time I make the posts in the hopes that someone will convince me it never will and I might finally have whatever push I need to just kill myself already. But I realise, think I’ve already got my answer. It doesn’t get better.
Cause I’m the issue. The way I was raised, the trauma I’ve gone through, hell maybe it’s just plain old genetics, but it all leads to the same place. Someone who won’t ever recover. Cause as much as I’ve struggled with the usual addictions for someone like me, alcohol, self-harm, drugs, the real addiction isn’t any of them. They’re all just a symptom. A symptom of being addicted to my own damn sadness. I can’t exist unless I’m miserable. Don’t know how. Don’t think it would even be me anymore. So I won’t get better because *I* can’t get better.
And I can’t change either. If I could, think I would have by now. It’s why the years of therapy, the medication, none of it does anything for me. Because I can’t exist if I’m free of this. Doesn’t matter how much philosophy I read, stoicism, existentialism, optimistic nihilism, buddhism, the goddamn myth of Sisyphus, none of helps cause they’re all paths I can’t tread. Paths I just can’t believe in. Tried to walk ‘em. But they don’t make sense to me, it’s like trying to force yourself to believe the oceans are dry to me. It’s just not what I see when I look. And I can’t force my eyes to see any other way. Can’t force my brain to interpret the information in any other context.
It’s why I read all the comments I get on here and they all just make me feel more alone. The ones about the things I should do, that I know I either can’t or won’t. The ones about how someone else feels the same, I’m sorry to hear it, but it doesn’t make me feel anything, really. The ones that try to change my mind, at this point I’d tell you to give up. I’m in the pit and clearly this is where I live now. Feels like I usually just end up not conveying my hopelessness properly or something now though and see all comments about how “it doesn’t matter if you have a purpose, just do stuff you enjoy” and I have to type out about 10 times that the whole point of me posting is that I don’t know how to enjoy things and I don’t remember what happiness feels like. My own stupid fault, guess it’s just cause I’m addicted to my own misery so my brain wants to tell anyone who responds how nothing will ever get better for me. But it won’t. Because I’m not capable of it.
God this is depressing. I can’t even get up and kill myself. Pretty astounding considering it’s all I think about. You’d think at some point my brain would just let it happen. I guess normally I’d be drinking to forget all about it at this point, but I don’t even see the point in that anymore. Dunno what the fuck you’re supposed to do when you’ve gotten too depressed to even relapse. It’s definitely a rockier bottom than any substance has ever gotten me to.
|
ptsd
|
My husband mentioned to our child who has been diagnosed with ADHD that she had a couple of options for her ADHD. One is medicine, the other is behavioral therapy. I've got to say I've never heard of "behavioral therapy" for ADHD. I've heard of CBT, ACT and a super version of CBT for depression resistant persons. I am DOWN with the behavioral therapy therapies...and yet, what is this behavioral therapy for ADHD he speaks of? Can't get a clear answer out of him because he's working.
|
ADHD
|
I was just packing away an old HP BAII+ financial calculator. It's been with me thirty years and was my most used tool on my job. My peers also would have been helped by this tool had they taken the time, about one weekend in my case, to read the manual and learn the functions. I noticed when I was studying for something called the Chartered Financial Analyst program that my peers glossed over sections like derivatives, currency, and fixed income which had lower weights on the exam but were disproportionately complex so I doubled down on these topics. In my career, doing actual work that requires critical thinking was like a hot potato. Nobody wants to do the heavy lifting. Most NTs I worked with wanted to make as much as possible for as little effort as possible and would even gloat about it. I took on the heavy lifting nobody else was willing or really knew how to do. In return I had all the flexibility and freedom I needed. I didn't have to attend all the meetings which was how many tried to fill their day. I was allowed to make myself a cave in the quietest and darkest back corners of the office. I was very lucky to have bosses that understood me better than I did at the time.
Before I went full finance geek, I would have never believed I could do what I did. I was bouncing around in unskilled jobs trying to find a path. Still getting into trouble even. When I decided to pursue this I shut out family and friends, moved into a studio apartment, and worked and studied. Twenty years later I was done due to health issues but am financially set, something that seemed impossible to me as late as thirty years old.
Luck plays a big role for all of us. But, I do believe we are wired to learn the stuff NTs cannot and this ability is tremendously valuable. Please know, the bar really, really low in corporate world and more and more they are understanding how incredibly valuable we can be.
|
aspergers
|
I've always had a strong exterior but I'm actually highly emotional and my emotional state seems to have a stronger effect on my physical well-being than others. After many failed relationships, romantically and otherwise, I'm now alone. I've developed an irregular heartbeat which causes blood pressure issues, dizzy spells and lightheadedness, physical pain and near constant tingling in my fingers and toes which sometimes spreads up my limbs. I get severe migraines any time I feel depressed now which last for weeks and cause me to lose all sense of balance.
They all figuratively and literally broke my heart. And I sometimes wish I could tell them all, that they would regret it or feel bad in some way. I don't think I have many years left, even if I get treated or things get better for me. I'll likely die of a heart attack or stroke sometime soon and a part of me wants them to know and to suffer in that knowledge. Does that make me bad or immature?
|
depression
|
Hi, I can’t sleep right now because every time I try to sleep my brain starts thinking about really scary Gorey and weird stuff. I’m freaking out, are these intrusive thoughts or something more serious? I feel like I can’t control them and I’m scared I like them (even though I know I don’t). I’m afraid I’m going into psychosis or schizophrenia or something ):
|
OCD
|
Fuck fuck fuck. I feel stretched so damn thin. I feel like one more thing and I’m
Going to break. I feel like I’m barely holding it all together. My sanity feels fleeting. My hope slim. My anger and despair intertwined and growing
I hate myself for feeling this way. I know I have nothing to be depressed about. I know others suffer worse and longer than me. I know that admitting this and sharing my pain makes me feel like a shit bag. I know that my family treats me different now and that I both want that and despise it at the same time
I’ve always been the rock. I’ve always been the dependable one. I’ve always been the one no one worried about
But I’ve realized I’ve been just packing my troubles away for years. For decades. Cracks have formed and the pain and suffering I never knew I was suppressing is leaking out. I cry at random times. I scream into pillows or in my car when I’m lucky and actually feeling something. Otherwise Often just numb. But I’ve suppressed things for so long I no longer know how to release the pressure
I turn to a group like this. A voice amongst the seas of crowded pain. It does grant me some release, some refuge. I thank any and all for reading it.
I’ll continue to post. I’ll continue to write. I hope this is an Avenue to my recovery.
|
depression
|
This ocd is really ruining everything and I'm getting tired of waiting to find out what more will be ruined.
I help my neighborhood cats by finding them rescues or fixing the ferals and also helped neighbor's pets with vet care sometimes. One of them got spayed by this girl's rescue who I thought I could trust after having worked with her for some time but turns out the cat has been acting skittish and weird after the spay. Neighbors think she might have been abused by the girl because I confessed that I had seen her handle a cat roughly after getting angry with it plus having the rescue a mess(we cleaned as volunteers), plus she got reported by someone for neglect already (she said it was someone online that didn't know who she really was) and I learned all of this that day I had dropped her off already so I didn't know what to do thought since she is spaying for free she means well but I realize now she probably just wanted the kittens she came with. In the end I apologized for having trusted her w neighbors cats and I couldn't help by feel so stupid (I really was for ignoring all the red flags). Mom says maybe cat's just reacting to anesthesia or something but it's been a month already so prob not.
Anyway with my ocd ofc I started blaming myself to the point I started having some false memories and questions about what if I hit the cat or something on accident or even on purpose. It's insane how real the guilt can feel even though I know I didn't do anything like that but I can't stand feeling this way and I don't think I can continue rescuing after this or do anything that involves being responsible for someone else. I'm done most likely forever.
|
OCD
|
Can exposure hierarchy work if your themes are rapidly changing ?
Say if they change so frequently that a typical exposure hierarchy (could be weeks or months) won’t be able to keep up with
|
OCD
|
I've been through so many near death experiences...with the Army in Iraq 2003. Since then living in the hood with the constant hyper alertness. When you are white in and all black neighborhood it's constant. I just want to be able to sleep and not see mutilation in my mind. Blown up people, blood in my vision, please God help me. I just don't want to be insane!
|
ptsd
|
diagnosed as a young child with aspergers
im 22 now, when i was 16 my fathers ex gf forced me to login to my Facebook to show them my messages and i got caught with the big 3 problems that any normal teen may be caught with, losing my virginity, smoking pot a few times, and drinking a handful of times. before this incident, for the prior 3 years i had been spending a considerable amount of time with my best friend (my cousin), even spending virtually every other week at a time at his house for a span over two years after he moved back from texas. we were best friends before he moved and nothing changed when he moved back. he was always pretty popular, and he always insisted i had the potential for the same, so me being horrible with socializing i obliged, i spent the next 3 years being extremely social, something i hadn’t done in my life before, to a point where everyone in our smaller town knew us. ive always had a difficulty with realizing my emotion until it hits me in the face like a train. we had it all here, but that day my dads ex girlfriend made me login to my facebook changed everything. a week later i ran away for the first time in my life because i was grounded obviously and at the time i felt social media was all i had (almost could say i was hell bent on keeping that popularity i suddenly had, because i never did before), so when i came back home the next day, i talked to my dad and told him that’s why i left and he gave my phone back, but it’s like i was suddenly a new person. it was so weird. within a weeks time frame, i got caught doing the big 3 bad teenager things, got grounded, ran away because i wanted to maintain my social life, then when ungrounded after talking to my dad, i became far more reclusive than ever. i stopped hanging out with my cousin, when just before this we were together basically 50%+ of the time. it happened so quickly. like i said, ive always been horrible with realizing my emotions until they hit me like a train, so im not surprised by it after i had some time to contemplate. that being said, it’s been 6 years, and im still so reclusive, before my dads ex gf made me login to my Facebook, i never felt any social exhaustion and ever since that day, i always feel so resistant to socializing even though i know I generally enjoy it. i don’t know why i avoid it simply other than ever since that day, it’s like i was given a health meter for my social energy, before it was never noticeable, and nowadays it almost always feel like my social energy is always on the edge. it’s a weird example, but i think this event with my dads ex triggered an intense burnout that was building for 16 years and i think i still haven’t given myself the proper time/knowledge/resources to heal and refresh. any advice towards that would be so much appreciated. i find myself growing more reclusive each moment, i need to find a feasible way to get through this burnout but working full time while attempting to maintain relationships with non aspies that don’t understand this has made that goal virtually impossible. i honestly don’t know what to do anymore but im tired of feeling this way, for 6 years ive felt like a different person, and i want to get out of this rut, but i can’t figure out an attainable way to do so.
|
aspergers
|
Anyone else sleep alot so they dont have to deal with the obsessive thoughts and what not?
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone, I would like your input. I don’t have Tourette’s and no one in my family has Tourette’s (that I know of). When I get stressed, or am around someone with tics, I “tic” too. Is this just a mirroring thing? I really have no clue bc it will happen as I said when I’m stressed. I do the super common thing of repeating things because when I find the right sentence or word my brain goes “shhhh”. The repeating things has always been noticeable since I was little, but the “ticcing” didn’t start until I was a late teenager. Is anyone else like this??
The “tics” I most commonly do in those scenarios described above are flaring my nostrils, cracking or trying to crack my fingers, whistling, blurting out an obscure vine reference, and shivering. But also the vibe reference thing is a stim and happens all the time lol.
Thanks in advance :))
|
ADHD
|
So talked to a psychiatrist, ocd wasn't the main concern of visit (ADHD and depression was) but ocd was addressed. My symptoms that I was concerned might be ocd were a mental tic (need for sensory evenness able to 'tolerate' not correcting), thinking about disturbing hypotheticals like workplace accidents, games I play with myself I imagine impact real life things, mental rituals when I was a kid and religious still, anxiety when my routine is broken.
The important thing I suppose is since it only takes 2 hrs a day out of me and can be controlled with only increased stress they said it wasn't ocd.
All in all they said I definitely had symptoms on the anxiety ocd spectrum but refrained giving diagnosis labeling it anxiety NOS instead. They gave the go ahead for my primary doctor to go up to 40 mg on my Lexapro and to add 15mg busprirone.
So while they didn't give me diagnosis they increased my pharmaceuticals like they did. I am just wondering if they refrain from diagnosis while I am still suffering depression still? Kinda thought I had mild ocd but maybe not I guess.
|
OCD
|
When covid started, I was on meds. Due to covid I had to move multiple times. Now I live in a very expensive area bc it’s where my partner is from, and I can’t afford meds. I’ve been off them for nearly two years now I guess.
Things seem to be getting worse every day. I didn’t realize how bad things were until my partner said something. I have no desire for anything anymore. I have hobbies but I feel so few emotions anymore that just thinking about them is exhausting. I can’t draw anymore, I don’t care about DND anymore, I used to hike all the time. I live by the ocean, and I used to dream of living in an oceanside town. Now that I am, I just. Don’t care.
It’s affecting my relationship too. I love my partner, but depression consumes me.
Where I live, it’s so much work to get benefits. It overwhelms me and I shut down. I know I need to just suck it up no matter how bad it feels to push through it, but god it’s hard. Everything is so hard. I had the realization last night that if I didn’t have the life I have currently and if I were in my previous situation pre-covid I’d probably be dead.
That was such a scary thought. I’ve been depressed my whole life, but I’ve never attempted nor thought very seriously about it. I had things I cared enough for. But realizing that if I suddenly lost what I have, I’d have nothing.
I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. I just needed to post this somewhere. I have no therapist, and talking to my partner only helps so much. Plus I try not to dump all of this on him. I’m just tired and I need relief but I can’t afford it.
|
depression
|
Anyone else get heightened ocd when cooking for family afraid you will get your germs on the food you are cooking for?
|
OCD
|
Has anyone ever heard of or considered starting a town or community for people like us (possibly friends and families)
I think many if us would be fine specializing in something that was seen as having value and being respected regardless of what it was, and to know that whoever was doing another job was diligent and qualified and primarily focused on doing their job well.
Idk, it would be interesting but something tells me we could make an awesome town if we got together.
|
aspergers
|
Good morning from the land down under! I hope you're all doing well.
My girlfriend hasn't had any formal diagnosis, but she has always felt out of step with other people, and in recent years we've come to believe that she might have asbergers.
The main thing she struggles with is her mind getting stuck in a groove where she can't stop thinking over the same problem over and over, and her main obsession currently is that we'll be moving in January when our current lease expires.
She's terrified that we won't find a place to live, that it won't be nice, and that the move itself will be hard, and it's borderline ineffective to try comforting her or explaining that we'll be fine, because she doesn't want details or to even think about it more than she is atm.
So she's been stuck stressing and trying to just get through by distracting herself but the moment she stops she's back in her anxieties.
Has anyone been through anything similar? I would treasure any advice you could offer.
Thank you!
|
aspergers
|
For reference I’m 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. When my depression started to get really bad I stopped caring at school even though previously I was a “gifted kid” and quite frankly a perfect student, but around the end of 8th grade fell into a depression. I stopped caring about my sports, my grades, etc. but because of covid last year, this is my first finals week and I feel like I’m starting to care. But not the healthy kind of care. Like the kind where if I fail, the Christmas lights won’t be the only thing hanging. But I also don’t care enough to actually study. So I feel as if I am hurdling towards an impending doom. It’s not like I want to die. But at this point it just feels like something that is going to happen.
|
depression
|
It's all in my hands and somehow I know it'll never get better
|
depression
|
Moments ago, i broke down in front of my mother. I was eating and when she came near me, i just hugged her and let go of my tears. Told her how I'm struggling with out thesis and my fear of not graduating. Then i went back to my eating. Finished my meal crying. Then i called my friends. Some picked up. Some didn't. I know they're busy. No hard feelings towards them. I am not their responsibility and i acknowledge that fact. Love you guys.
|
depression
|
I am pregnant! Yay! However, I have been off my meds for a little under 2 years because of my last pregnancy and nursing my baby. I don’t want to go another 2 years. It is hard. It is exhausting. It is anxiety provoking. It is dumb. To not be on my meds. But I also have to protect the development of my fetus. Obviously, I’m going to be talking to my dr, but last pregnancy, she had to do research and consult with other drs to get any info, so I’m hoping to go in with some resources as well.
Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
I always go to my favorite character of Abed Nadir of Community. He nails the growth of someone with asperger syndrome to a T. From discovery in the first season to his continual growth and quirks as he explores himself and just unapologetically is himself throughout. It's great.
Two others that are likely obvious are Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Spock of Star Trek. That is the extent of my knowledge of aspie characters in media. I'm not counting the show Atypical because I believe it does as much good of describing Aspies as Autism Speaks does for helping us. None.
|
aspergers
|
I have had an issue with crying from sadness. I can cry from happiness and for others. Recently my girlfriend had a mental breakdown (family and school related) and demanded a break in our relationship, even suggesting a breakup. I proceeded to break down for an hour. It was the first cry I had in years because of sadness(for myself).
I have been doing some self reflection and concluded that I do not value myself enough to allow myself relief. I have tried many methods (sad videos, talking to people I’m close with, accepting myself) and the best I can do is tear up, but not actually cry. I am not particularly overweight or overworked, but things have been piling up in my head and due to medical reasons I cant just go to the gym and work it off.
Any advice?
Also, apologies for formatting as I am on mobile, and for late replies as I am going to bed.
|
depression
|
https://youtu.be/lIJG_c4uegI
I realize this is technically just a video post in text format, sorry mods feel free to delete if not allowed
|
aspergers
|
I'm in high-school but I'm taking 3 college classes, all online. I am able to keep up with one of them but the other two I am get farther and farther away from catching up. Now I'm 5 weeks behind both classes and I'm piled with stress now. A lot of my problems of not doing my work is with not having a clean room. Like my room is more of a disaster than my life so then whenever I start to do homework it makes me want to clean my room. But to clean my room I need to have like at least 4 hours free, preferably home alone, and I don't have time to because I pack my schedule because I feel so stressed when I'm doing nothing but I am also piling stress on myself even more too. Now it's just a vicious cycle I can't break.
|
ADHD
|
Hi guys! I have an appointment today with my gp and would like to be referred to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis of ocd and start treatment. I’m just wondering if anyone has any tips on telling my gp about my ocd? In the past I’ve had lots of physical compulsions. Recently it has been mainly pure-o themes specifically (hocd, pocd and harm ocd). This all started a few months ago. In the beginning it was just hocd. Now the hocd is basically completely gone and it’s just pocd with a bit of harm ocd. The thing is I don’t know if my gp is familiar with ocd and especially these themes so I don’t really feel comfortable mentioning the pocd due to the nature of the theme. Is it fine if I just talk about the hocd and not mention the pocd?
|
OCD
|
I’m F(21). You ever talk to anyone about your disorder, and literally no one cares ? I wish there was one person I can vent to about it, but I know they’re not gonna care or I can tell in their face that they wanna stop hearing about it. It makes me just wanna keep it to myself, but since I have a problem with oversharing, it’s hard to. Then I end up regretting opening up about my adhd or explaining why I am the way I am. I guess it’s a Neurotypical thing to not care.
|
ADHD
|
This hyperfixation happens with anything: people, music, films, places, feelings etc. The feeling for me is very similar to having a crush on someone. It makes me excited, nervous, happy, tingly, obsessed... when this happens with a place, a song, a girl friend etc., I can safely say that it's a hyperfixation and not worry. But sometimes it happens with people of the other sex (I am female), and I start to worry. I am in a commited relationship and I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. But lately I've developed a hyperfixation on a guy at work. I am torn between it being a crush or just an innocent hyperfixation. The idea of it being a crush breaks my heart and makes me feel so guilty.
The thing is, at this job we all hug eachother. It's a very friendly, casual, personal place and I love it here for this reason, among other things. I had a hyperfixation on another colleague as well, but she was a woman, and I am not attracted to women, but her hugs and touch gave me butterflies. I LIVE for physical touch, it's one of my main sources of dopamine, from anyone: friends, family, strangers lol. But I'm afraid of the sexual connotations around it, especially concerning this guy at work. He hugs me every time we work together, and I suspect he is flirting with me, and like with the girl, it gives me butterflies... and I hate it.
Can anyone relate? And how do you handle it?
|
ADHD
|
> Many people who experience trauma will recover without any severe long-term consequences. However, around 23% of trauma survivors will develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a difficult-to-treat illness that combines intrusive thoughts about the trauma, avoidance of reminders of it, low mood and an exaggerated startle reaction.
>
> Which trauma victims will develop the disorder and which will be spared is not well understood.
>
> Now a new study, published in the journal Depression and Anxiety, offers clues on how to identify those at greatest risk for PTSD and suggests potential interventions to help prevent its development.
https://psychcentral.com/news/2019/12/27/study-maps-early-development-of-ptsd/152566.html
|
ptsd
|
I am not actively suicidal but i wonder almost daily why i am still here. I recently started self harm again (when you work as a chef people dont question burns on your arm) im not really sure what my purpose for this post is if im being honest i feel guilty about posting but after calling the few people i actually trust and getting no answer i didnt know where to go.
|
depression
|
Hi everyone,
Along with my life-long anxiety and after a few bad experiences, some of them with therapists, I'm having a hard time feeling safe around some people. I feel panicked, spiraling, very confused... My issue now is that it's difficult for me to trust therapists, but I really need the help.
The times I've tried EMDR I benefit from It, but there are not many Emdr therapists in my city rn.
I was wondering if there are techniques for trauma work or nervous system work that I can do to empower myself so I can feel more protected/more clear in triggering spaces, including therapy. I've heard about TRE and somatic experencing. Any other things I can do in group/by myself?
Thanks you
|
ptsd
|
So, yeah. I figured out the perfect mix for a matcha latte and now apparently I can't drink anything else. Even my usual morning coffee won't do even though it's *part of the routine*.
Now don't get me wrong : this matcha latte makes me ecstatic. I absolutely love it, it's a delight and gives me huge dopamine boosts when I prepare and the drink it.
But I'm anemic! So tea in bug quantity is not good for me. So, either I force myself to drink something else (bleh, no way!), or I let my body dehydrate (not a good deal) or I plan carefully when I can safely drink tea without it messing up my iron intake.
Life is hard, y'all.
|
aspergers
|
Over the past 2 years I have suffered from anxiety, depression and ptsd after grief and trauma. Life has taken a turn, from lower than I ever though I would ever go, to where I am now. Things are not only better than before, they are better than they have ever been and yet I am struggling to process the good news. How did you respond to things looking up in your life? I feel like I am still caught up in the trauma, waiting for it all to fall apart again.
|
ptsd
|
I'm interested in talking to other Aspie makers and discussing things like:
How do you maintain inspiration for projects and learning new skills?
When you hit a block, how do you over come?
etc, etc.
|
aspergers
|
I’ve been lately having a lot of vivid dreams to the point where sometimes im confusing them with my real life. Like if im not sure if something I did yesterday or a week ago was real or just a dream. I’ve also always had really strange unpleasant thoughts that will pop out of knowhere and will stay with me for a long time. Lately more than usual I don’t ever want to act on them but it terrifies me. I also like to have some sort of routine if it’s messed up in someway it bugs me a lot sometimes making me extremely angry or just making me feel depressed. I’m going to try and set a meeting with a psychologist soon since lately I’ve been feeling a lot worse but in the mean time I just wanted to see if anyone has gone through something similar.
|
OCD
|
While not completely relevant to the subject, the setting of this world is a “modern with fantasy magic.”
The character, Obsidian, suffers from PTSD related OCD. Currently, he suffers from intrusive thoughts, a compulsion to constantly make sure his surroundings are safe, to keep moving, and a fear of germs (which relates heavily to his intrusive thoughts). In the story, he is going to therapy to gain a better understanding off how to deal with and filter these thoughts.
He has the support of his fiancée, who went though a similar trauma and therefore partially understands what he’s going though, but does not suffer from OCD. Their relationship goes though a severe stain halfway through the story, but it patches up, and both parties make an effort to talk to each other about how they feel.
Is there any advice you can offer in terms of:
-What to avoid/what not to avoid with the character’s personality, or general advice.
-Writing a realistic relationship when one of the parties has OCD.
-How OCD might affect an amputee.
-Therapy techniques that actually help the person with OCD and/or OCD related to PTSD.
-Advice on PTSD related OCD, and if PTSD can, in someway “heighten” (not the best word) OCD?
Any and all advice is appreciated, thank you!
|
OCD
|
Hi. I am a 16 year old boy and I have struggled with many of the symptoms associated with primarily inattentive ADHD, but I have my doubts and often am in conflict with my self, calling my self lazy or just stupid. I currently have a 0% in one of my classes, 57% and 61% in two others. The rest I am doing fine. And I want to complete the work I'm missing, but for some reason I can't bring my self to doing it. I completed one of the assignments and felt very accomplished, but I let the rest of my work stress me out, even though I'm fully aware I could get through all of it if I tried, but can never get my self to just completing it all.
I also have trouble keeping my room clean and doing my chores. I have tried many times to make schedules for my self and have even downloaded an app that signals an alarm whenever I need to get things done, and all have failed. I often get yelled at because of this and really hate it, yet I can never fix it. When I do my chores, I usually just do the bare minimum, or I don't begin until like 12-2 AM after planning to do them at 10 PM. These are just the bigger problems, I have many more that I won't address in this post, but feel free to ask me questions.
TL;DR Touched over huge procrastination issue, have other issues
|
ADHD
|
I'm aware is normal to have a hyperfixation over a character. The problem is...he doesn't have the amount of content I would like.
The character is Pagan Min, Far Cry 4 villain, and he doesn't appear much during the games. I'm starting to feel stressed out because of it. I feel ashamed about it. I don't know if is normal to feel stressed about it. It never happened to me, usually I can enjoy it without problems. Any advice???
|
ADHD
|
If someone wants to talk about ocds you can text me, we can talk about it
|
OCD
|
I wanna cry and puke my organs out at the same time right now. My desk is just there, in the other corner of the room. I know i gotta study for my future, i know i should be studying instead of writing this but i can't.
I just wanna sleep till i never wake up. I hate the feeling in my insides. I hate myself. Im going to be a failure and probably commit suicide. Im going to disappoint everyone. Everyone's going to hate me the way i hate myself.
|
depression
|
Sooooo long story ima try and keep it short while having it make sense because when I shorten it things tend to not make sense so bare with me and if you have questions ask on comments
So I am still in school I’m 16 and that means I’m a teenager so I have all the problems a normal teenager has x10. So the ~~hormones~~ are…. You know what you’ve all been teenagers you get it anyway I was on the with my friend for the longest time who I’d known for a while at the time when we get a new student and at first me and my friend and her became that group in the back of the bus you know the cool kids so to say and so not so soon after I pick up on the fact I think she likes me but I’m a nerd who is a little narcissistic and annoying and could care less it you don’t like me or how I am and because of that I think we’ll she can’t really “like like” me but so as friends we decide we should prank our other friend and say we are dating so this goes on for a while until she wants to borrow my sweatshirt which come to think of she still has anyway off topic she wants to make it look more serious like hold my hand and shit like that and so we start doing that and then she kisses me which I honestly wish didn’t happen on the bus because a prank like that tends to backfire when you don’t pick up on the fact that it actually became a serious relationship and so because of my adhd and newly realized moment of I f**ked up by allowing this prank to become whatever it was I become seriously introverted for the rest of the ride to school while everyone including the bus aid tries to peer pressure me into kissing her back while my now introverted self scrolls through Reddit and tries to share memes with my other friends as a way to change the subject which doesn’t work so a while goes on the end of the school year comes and I still haven’t told her I “like like” her to and then the whole summer I’m sitting there and I think of her randomly and I don’t know why so when I heard she was on my bus I was kinda happy so this year it was just her none of my other friends were there but for some reason I didn’t tell her I liked her but for some reason it felt like she was still letting me on I asked her what songs I should download because we listen to my speaker on the bus and when I came in the next day with the songs she wanted she was happy she said I could kiss you but she was being like cutesy and I got her number but then because she moved she got put on a different bus so I start texting her not anything romantic just as a friend and she would text back but she started ghosting me and so I stopped texting her in that time I would see her in the locker room at school where we put all our stuff the first room everyone walks into in the morning and she would act like she’s mad at me and I had no idea why and let me add some info here the way I text I text multiple times in a matter of seconds because I don’t write in a paragraph I have thoughts they pop in as I go so it’s like spamming but it’s not it’s one reply and most people know that and are ok with that and this is going to be important later because I texted her yesterday after about 3 months of silence and told her how I feel because I decided not to listen to the little voice that says don’t do it all the time and tell her even though I knew she was dating someone else I just wanted to get it off my chest and speak for past me cause he is a little bi*ch and I still am but she ended up responding with questions like why didn’t you say this before and I answered with because I am a embarrassed nerd who is to scared to say things and she ghosted me again so I text our other friend and tell him what I did and he says just stop texting her and I say ok I guess and he says seriously so I take a screen recording of me deleting the convo end ending the chat and so I tell my friend not to say anything about it because my brain is already giving me a I told you not to on repeat so I come into school and he told our teacher what was up because our friend say I text her to much and that it’s like I’m obsessing over her and that she’s thinking about calling the cops and so apparently the way I text which really isint a lot is obsessing texting my friends to talk about how bored I am and what I’m doing is obsessing so I get out of school at the end of the day and I immediately text the one friend who told the teacher and told him to tell her that if she doesn’t want me to text her anymore fine I just wish she would have said something to me instead of dragging in our friend and I sent a screen recording of me deleting her number but the reason I used my friend as a middle man is so that she couldn’t say I was spamming her or anything plus I had a witness and so the reason I’m posting this here is because I heard people with ADHD take rejection hard but it doesn’t feel like rejection it feels like loosing a friend but people with ADHD tend to take that hard to apparently I mean I feel fine just a little pissed that she’s making me seem like a pervert or something and I want to know what I should do because I just realized that my ADHD and impulsiveness and social awkwardness really fucks me up because I shouldn’t have froze I should have kissed her back and I regret not doing it to this day but I’m not really mopping at least I don’t consider it moping around I mean I felt good since I got my feelings of my chest but that she would say the way I text is obsessing and that she’s making me out to be some sort of pervert is really pissing me off but I think it’s handled I just want to know what I should do to stop feeling like I feel right now
I really hope this makes sense I tried but I had to copy this to my notes app because my phone was being slow to make the letters appear while I was typing so I would type well would and i would already be 3 words down and the Reddit app would still be typing would
Jeez that’s a mind f*ck
|
ADHD
|
I'm looking for ways to support my 15yo daughter in graduating high school. She recently began medication (3mths) and Dr is slowly upping dosage to gauge reaction. She is failing 2 classes and has D's in the others. I'm looking for ways to support her at home in getting her schoolwork finished (#1 factor in grades).
What are things (schedules, tricks, methods) that you've found helpful to encourage yourself or your kid to start on and complete assignments?
Thanks a bunch ❤
|
ADHD
|
I will always think back to checking my breasts for lumps, and if I can’t remember it perfectly including the sensations I felt, I doubt the entire memory. I question if it’s a false memory, if I felt what I thought I felt, if I made myself think I felt nothing when something was there and I’m just in huge denial. I don’t think I am, but isn’t that something that someone in denial would say? What if me questions is my subconscious’ way of telling me I’m in denial?
You get my point, it never ends
|
OCD
|
basically im (24f) on a waiting list to see an adhd specialist, on paper i fit the symptoms (mainly for inattentive type) pretty well but i am just constantly doubting myself, im not sure if i can truly be said to have these traits in childhood which i know is necessary,
​
i want to get assessed once and for all but since the nhs waiting list is so long, i will probably have to pay for private. before i spend my money i want to see if i can test myself to see if i am capable of doing the things I think im not
as im writing this it sounds stupid, but basically, in my day to day life, im late for most things, procrastinate, unfocused and unmotivated. but i was also unemployed for a really long time and im worried that ive just forgotten how to do things or gotten into bad habits, and that it isnt something inherent about me like adhd would be. like, i now have a job where i work from home, people cant easily check in on me, so Im often slow and late to do what is expected of me because i feel i cant focus or 'knuckle down'.
im worried that this is a learnt thing, since my colleagues arent harsh on me, and my parents never were either. in fact my mum usually encourages me to relax more even when I should be working. i feel like i might just be lazy, unmotivated and out of routine, and have too much access to things like the internet.
i always wonder - if i could get to bed early and get a good sleep then wake up early, get myself washed and dressed, maybe stretch my legs, have a tidy desk, maybe id be ok. or if someone scary shouted at me and told me to get it together. if i tried hard enough i would be able to resist looking at my phone or whatever. but its just never happened that way. i never get to bed before 12, i somehow just cant, this has been the case for about 3 years, and every morning i wake up groggy and late and feeling unprepared and grumpy.
i feel like im gaslighting myself, im so confused. like i feel like i started to notice adhd symptoms in myself after i got my first laptop aged 16, and i wonder if its related. i kind of think thats a stupid thought, it doesnt really make sense and maybe there are things i could point to from when i was younger, but the fact i have to TRY to think of them instead of them seeming obvious just shatters my confidence completely because it makes me feel like im putting it on so i can have an excuse or sympathy or something.
​
anyway its past midnight and i still have to wash up and make my bed before i crash and im shattered, so tomorrow is almost certainly not the day where the stars align haha
​
tldr: honestly just me incoherently doubting myself im actually too tired to backread it so am not 100% sure sorry
|
ADHD
|
I have ADHD and I use Ritalin (10mg at 1:00pm and 10mg at 4:00pm) but I was really used to take naps during the afternoon and with the Ritalin I can't Do It because It keeps me aware,so even when I have a shitty night of sleep I can't take naps to compensate It,Do you guys have any tips that would help me?
|
ADHD
|
I don’t have many friends as I live in a small town and no one shares any interests with me it really sucks so much
|
aspergers
|
Ok, so I had a trick. When i sleep, if i hear things while i'm asleep It sort of invades my dreams. I'm a super light sleeper, and the nightmares I usually have because of, well, years of abuse, are horrific.
But the trick I found, is old episodes of are you being served. It's an old british sitcom, very repetative, no harsh language, or loud bangs, or anything that could trigger me while i was asleep.
I got the idea from my grandfather. he had a rip roaring case of PTSD when he came back from Korea, and he would listen to Oprah all night long while he slept on headphones. On full blast.
the sounds drown out the nightmares, sort of like recording over my inner mind.
The problem is with this. I'm going through hell since nov 12th. everyday someone is screaming at me, my boyfriend of 7 years has travelled 4000 miles across the country probably to never return, and my abusers are ramped up to 11.
I had him to calm me down when things got bad, and I had the sitcom to help me sleep.
Since he's been gone and the abuse has started up wholeheartedly agian, I have nothing to calm me down, and the sticom isn't working. I've been waking up in near panic attack mode every morning.
Just profound feelings of loss, and fear and heart pounding.
I'm geting maybe 3 hours of fitful sleep a night.
does anyone have any ideas?
|
ptsd
|
I’m a high school student whose graduating this year and I want to share “my” OCD because maybe someone can relate to me as well. I’ve had OCD since I was a small child, it always involved my rituals that I had to do in order so that my mind would tell me everything is going to be fine and if I wouldn’t do them then something bad was going to happen. I’ve recently started therapy and I have been diagnosed for the first time this March, so I’ve never been open about this with anyone (not even my parents or friends). I’ve always told myself that I’m “normal” and basically ignored my OCD and held it to myself which is very hard and it sucks because when people saw me do my rituals I always had to find an excuse but what’s worse is that I couldn’t talk about it with anyone else.
Anyways I want to start with my number/counting OCD, I don’t know how to professionally name it sorry. Basically for me every number from 1-10 represents something for me. I’m not going to specify every one of them just the most important ones. Number 7 has been my good number, basically when I see it I’m like ok everything is going to be fine, this involves counting my steps till I get to number 7 or crossing my pinkie (5th finger on hand) and index finger (2nd finger on hand) together because they add up to 7. However I have bad numbers as well: three and four. Three represents for me an end to something either that my life is going to end or when I’m feeling happy that that’s going to end, basically anything that comes to my mind will end. Number four represents the bad, basically everything is going fall down. So everyday every time i see numbers for example on clock or on a registration plate of a car, my OCD kicks in. When I see one of my bad numbers I have to do my ritual, usually counting in my head till 7 or blinking 7 times or crossing my pinkie and index finger. But that doesn’t stop there because what I tend to do is I add the numbers that are for example on my alarm, to find out what final number does it add up to. So if it is 7:27 I count in my head 7+2+7=16. I won’t stop till I get one cipher number so I do 1+6=7. When it ends on a good number I usually do a short ritual as a thank you to the good number, but when it adds up to the number I hate, then intrusive thoughts come to my mind and I have to do my rituals till I’m satisfied. Sometimes my rituals take so much time.
I also have the same with colors. I have good and bad colors. For example red and blue are good colors for me and yellow with purple are bad colors. Yellow for me represents the color of suicide and purple is similar to number four, basically the bad. I only do my rituals when I see the bad colors because I tend to notice them more than the good colors.
It’s really complicated and hard to describe, honestly I could go on forever because this is just the tip of a an iceberg and I feel like I’ve been writing for so long already. Anyways I thought I’d share this to see if anyone can relate. If so then please let me know because I’m really curious. I’ve never met anyone irl with ocd because I feel like people aren’t so open about this in general I’d say.
If you’ve read this whole post than thank you.
|
OCD
|
I went through a traumatic experience as a kid and also recently before, during and after the lockdowns. I escaped the situation before lockdowns ended. Now that they opened I kind of kept myself lockdown other than work. my social anxiety is so bad I get a stutter and makes me so nervous to talk to people that I want to cry. I suffered so much mistreatment and abuse before lockdown from the people I trusted the most. This also past memories of abuse from when I was 3-6 and 12 that I was able to make myself forget until recently. I just am afraid to expose myself to that situation because people just target me and I know it’s my fault. I lost a lot of my friends before Covid because of the situation. I decided to better myself and get a bet degree and all my classes are online because of covid. I was able to develop a strong study habits that kept my gpa at a 4.0.
it seemed like the numbers are getting better and back to normal and covid has seem more real than Normal since I lost my grandma a couple weeks ago. I also found out that my school wants to pressure more students go face to face learning Just as I found out that I lost someone due to covid despite us doing everything to keep her safe. a couple of my classes were changed face to face and that terrifies me. in addition to my social anxiety, I have to worry about other at risk family members. losing my grandma has caused us to be more concerned. Me and a couple of family members were going to divide helping out at risk family members since we were not going to be exposed. I am confused because I have known people who said they were 100 online before covid because of jobs. Even my advisor said that they are forgetting about people working and school because they were allowed to take all their classes online 100%
|
ptsd
|
I’m going through an existential crisis. I am going through solipsism and simulation theory ocd.
I doubt everything and the rabbit hole just keep getting deeper.
Is it normal that I feel like I believe these themes?
Is it normal that my mind keeps making what if’s?
What is the best way to deal with such a theme related to ocd?
Has anyone experienced something this? If so can you please share your experiences and perspective?
Thank you so much for any help. God bless you all.
|
OCD
|
Please help. I am hysterical and distraught. Something horrendous and gruesome happened to someone I love this morning right in front of me. My brain feels like its not working properly. I know I won’t ever get those images out of my mind. From people who have experience with this, is there anything I can do to make it even slightly better? I feel such a sense of guilt and helplessness. Sometimes I start hyperventilating, but then remind myself to breathe slowly.
For the past 2 years horrible things have been happening in my life, but this feels like the final straw. I don’t know how I can keep going.
The images from this morning feel like they are seared into my eyeballs and its all I can see now. What can I do??
|
ptsd
|
Seems so insignificant but my boss has caused me more anxiety than usual and thus making my ocd take over..
So last night my boss called me into the back office to say that people that I work with have mentioned I smelled like dog. It was embarrassing to say the least cause no one I’ve ever interacted with has mentioned it and even afterwards I kept asking my coworkers if I smelled.. it was to thepoint I went on break and spent the whole time sniffing my clothes… my dogs don’t stink, they get regular baths… my shoes did smell of sweat so washed them but now I’m anxiously bathing (4 times already) and planning to bathe at least two more times before my shift just in case.. I really don’t even want to be around people in case I stink.. I feel embarrassed and anxious and I haven’t had this bad of an ocd episode in years because of therapy but I’m spiraling into it because of that..
|
OCD
|
i can't fucking take it anymore, i feel like i am a serial killer, i can only imagine my life in pain.
i feel a liar, a manipulative person.
i genuinely think that these thoughts have taken control.
even right now, as i am writing, i feel weird, detached and deceiving.
i am exhausted, i don't know how i feel anymore, i trust nothing.
|
OCD
|
(Sorry if this is so long, I can never make short posts.... also marked it as NSFW just in case because there’s some minor violence?)
I have been diagnosed with OCD and have suffered with it since about 5 years old (though middle school age is when it got super bad to the point I locked myself in the bathroom) but in high school went to a great exposure therapy program and mostly overcame the symptoms and compulsions.
That being said I for sure have OCD, as well as misophonia, and both of those have always been mixed to the point where I’d do compulsions in response to the triggering sounds. (Which makes me wonder if it even is misophonia or just simply OCD, different therapists from the past have said different things regarding that). Recently it’s gotten crazy again, due to life stress I guess, after 4-5 years of being mostly dormant (give or take a few symptoms)
On super bad days my brother’s banging (he’s a 16 year old who loves games and gets VERY into them and slams the desk or whatever), footsteps, any household noises he makes (he’s one of the two people my misophonia/OCD is cantered around, which I know may sound unusual) will cause me to pretty much unintentionally slam my fist against my forehead. I hit super hard and it gives me a temporary calm from the anxiety and anger that surges in me. I also slap my temples pretty hard. I never leave any marks but it still is painful and terrifying. The most terrifying compulsions (though they are mostly unintentional that’s the best guess I have) I have had by far. There’s not even a real pattern to them, and some nights I get away with just hitting the wall with my fist and feeling fine, but other nights I get so violent on myself. Not attempting to harm myself in any way, if I thought it was something to that extreme I’d definitely seek help sooner. But sometimes my face swells anyways but these compulsions are at night so nobody notices anyways because they’re all in bed and so am I.
I know I should tell my therapist as it’s been happening for a couple months now, and I know it’s bad. But I also feel like a freak, even though I know i can’t really help it. I will tell her though cause it’s reaching a bad point I think.
I’m sorry to sound so negative. I just had to vent somewhere safe. I can’t even tell my friend who also has OCD. I never felt so ashamed or freaked out from a compulsion before.
It’s also heartbreaking to go through compulsions all over again after working so hard to overcome them and being okay for years.
|
OCD
|
I’m in a rough spot. Physically disabled for the next few months. Mentally struggling with the physical pain, but also seriously struggling with depression. I also struggle in general a lot around the holidays - I had a very abusive childhood so no family other than my partner to celebrate things with.
I’m currently on no depression meds. I tried several with bad side effects so we (my therapist, PCP and me) decided to try to work with just therapy and the very limited exercise I can do right now.
I’m having a rough week mentally and my partner doesn’t understand. They want to “fix” the problem and don’t understand I’m battling the chemicals in my brain. They keep telling me how life is good and trying to find solutions like going for a walk (which is very hard and painful right now). It honestly makes things worse because now I just feel so guilty for being depressed and bringing down the mood of the room. I feel like I should hide the crying and sadness better but that wears on me even more.
Can anyone else relate? Is it always going to be this lonely and hopeless feeling?
|
depression
|
I feel like an old racing dog who ran the track enough times to call it retirement time and iam only 26 ! Sigh where to begin ? Well my dad walked out on me, my mom chose a felon and his son over me, I've been single for years, I can't find or hold down a job since covid took my last one, iam fuck'n broke I don't have any money towards my name, I fell in love with somebody I shouldn't have and totally f*cked everything up (the one thing iam good at making messes and everything worse), and I just feel like iam slowly losing the will to live. I have my niece and I love her to pieces she means the whole world to me I can't do anything because I can't even picture her cute face filled with tears crying at my f*ckn funeral and having my brother and my SIL explain to her what suicide and death is !.....I feel defeated I feel like a complete and total loser in each and every way I don't want to live but I choose to because of that little girl but iam afraid that one day that even that might not be enough.....sigh WHY ! I HATE DEPRESSION ! All I want is love....acceptance......somebody to call my girlfriend.....then my wife but I honestly feel like I never will have that....
|
depression
|
I´m 31 and really dreading getting older. Not so much because of how my look will changes, but more like how the magic of live seems to disappear. There is a big emptiness in ageing for me. First of all you don´t belong to a group of friends like in High school and college... You don´t have all those new great common experience. Also dating is not the same. You don´t get the same rush as you did with you very first kiss, your first girlfriend - when everything was new. You hormones and adrenaline is not the same either.
What to do get over this feeling of lost opportunities. Acceptance?
|
depression
|
so the doctors gave my mom a referral to a psychologist because i explained that i have intrusive thoughts and compulsions and my mom refuses to because "they're going to make you take medicine" is it bad or they're going to help?
|
OCD
|
This is the first new years in 5 years I've spent by myself. The last two I spent with my ex and the three before that I spent with my old friend. My mum has gone to her boyfriends, my sister and dad live too far away. I don't really like holidays but it's getting to me this year.
Beginning the new year by myself and I don't have high hopes that'll change by next new years.
I hope you all have a good new year.
|
ptsd
|
Is there? Im not diagnosed yet, bcs this intrusive thoughts just started this year. Should i get diagnosed? Should i take medication? This intrusive thoughts have effected my daily life( +Overthinking, +Dpdr (Not disorder), social anxiety.(All Not diagnosed yet) But i do have some symptoms of it) I keep worrying, sweating, panic attack, anxiety. I might consider medication but i need to get diagnosed. But what medication helps your intrusive thoughts?
|
OCD
|
Hi guys,
I’m just feeling really sad right now and came here to vent. I have been in a relationship with an amazing man for almost 4 years now, but it has been quite a rocky road due to my OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD over a year ago, primarily manifesting as real event ocd mixed with some ROCD. Before my OCD was triggered, I definitely had obsessive tendencies the first couple years of my relationship. My boyfriend was in a 6+ year relationship before me that ended pretty badly, and I knew his ex because we all went to the same college. When we first started seeing each other, this wasn’t a problem for me at all because I wasn’t attached yet. He told me a lot about their break up and what a POS she was and was basically very transparent with me, which I was fine with in the moment. However, once we were officially dating and about a year into the relationship, the stuff he told me in the beginning was still in my head and I started becoming extremely jealous. I was convinced he wasn’t over his ex and other stupid sh*t, like my brain had me convinced, and I put him through hell because of it. I also got really jealous when I saw he liked this really pretty girl’s profile picture, when he didn’t normally like people’s pictures on social media. These things literally still affect our relationship because my brain is still obsessed and sees them as important. My real event OCD overshadowed these thoughts/obsessions for a while, but now they’re starting to resurface. I’m not sure if it is OCD related or not, but it clearly is irrational because we’ve been together so long and it still bothers me sometimes 😔 I can’t tell you how many times my boyfriend has reassured me and the thoughts still bother me.
Basically, I’m just mad that I am the way that I am and that my mind latches on to certain things the way that it does. I look at other girls and think wow, I wish I was normal and could have a perfect relationship like them. So many people are getting engaged too, which is making me even sadder. My boyfriend loves me so much and wants to marry me, but sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it because of my OCD. I wish I was “normal” and worthy like these other girls getting engaged. It’s just shitty and I wish I had a different brain.
Also, I have not seen my ocd therapist in months because she has been out of work for medical reasons, but I’m seeing a new one at the end of this month and will bring these issues up to her for sure. Comforting words and relatable experiences would be greatly appreciated :)
|
OCD
|
So, this text might get long. I have struggled with OCD for a long time, and it really takes its toll on me.
I have this weird feeling of dread that reality will get altered if I do something wrong. For example, if I get an intrusive thought about a friend, either if it's of sexual nature or violent nature, because I am so afraid of either sexualizing my friends or thinking that I harm them. If I forexample have intercourse with my gf, and right before I climax, I suddenly think about a friend being naked or something (because I am so afraid of thinking it), I get an insane amount of anxiety that the relationship between me and that friend will get altered. The same happens if I get a violent intrusive thought. If I lock the door when I'm heading to work, and an intrusive thought pops up about a friend or a familymember or my gf, I have to go back and unlock the door and then lock it again while thinking a positive thought of said person, if not I am afraid something bad will happen.
I can't stand these intrusive thoughts. Why do they have to be negative? I would never ever harm someone I love, so why do the thought I fear pop up? Why can't I randomly think of good things?
And no matter how much I know it's in my head, I am still afraid that reality will be altered if I think something bad or so.
I dunno what to do anymore.
|
OCD
|
Suppose this is more of a whiney rant just to get it off my chest as I have no one and nothing in my life that cares about me.
34m, never in been in any sort of romantic, or sexual for that matter, relationship and have barely had friends in the past. I’ve allowed my social anxiety to mutate me into this unapproachable bitter caustic monstrosity that now whines to you all. I’ve come to expect nothing and hope for nearly as little, because what can you actually say to someone like me.
I’ve done nothing with my life and have no real desire for anything that isn’t fleeting. I used to have hobbies but now I don’t have the energy for them, they feel like a chore and aren’t fun anymore. My waking hours are filled with work at a soul crushing job, come home and watch some tv show I’ve seen a billion times or if I’m feeling “ok” video games to escape this reality. If I’m not doing either of those, I’m simping over some cam girl or content creator and jacking off. There are plenty of days when I’m not even really aroused, and I still rub one out for the mere seconds of a dopamine release. Then when I’m finished I abhor myself even more and grumble to myself facetiously “and you wonder why no one likes you…you’re a creepy bastard in his 30s that lives alone and spends his time pulling his pud”. So pathetic. Worthless. When there are people with actual problems and tribulations, this is what I worry about, what keeps me awake lying in bed.
I’ve said in the past the only thing keeping me here are my parents. Couldn’t do that to my mother as she’s quite the bleeding heart. My father however passed earlier this year and I couldn’t even muster any tears. Likely worst of all is now I’m just counting down the time till my Ma goes, so I can finally depart myself and not bother anyone.
Accompanying the social anxiety is proximity issues, I can’t stand people that get too physically close to me all the while craving emotional and physical affection, a catch 22.
Now I’m starting to ramble and my lunch break is nearly over. Back to work with people that are utterly off put by my resting depressed face as they understandably confuse it for my agitated face.
|
depression
|
My mom is Bipolar 1 and my biggest fear has always been to be like her or have it and I really need medication for my OCD because it’s crippling at this point but My fear of medication and intrusive thoughts that I’m gonna trigger mania are keeping me from treatment. Does anyone know how high the odds are of this happening?
|
OCD
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.