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TL;DR After years of struggling, I get diagnosed with ADHD and put on a stimulant medication. I took the first dose the morning of an exam and had an anxiety attack, making me miss the exam. The professor will only excuse it if I get a letter from the provider. I am now so scared of not being believed by the provider, and her thinking I am only trying to make excuses or of being kicked out of the clinic.
Hi everyone. Disclaimer: long time lurker, first time poster. Everyone in this community has been very helpful and I am hoping to get some support or advice.
I always struggled in school , but I did get through it. I didn't know what I was experiencing could be ADHD until college. I would forget to go to class or would have to leave in the middle because I felt like every neuron in body was firing, and I needed to move. I almost failed out my second year and at the encouragement from my boss, I spoke to my mom about getting tested. He has ADHD and told me he recognized the symptoms.
I was still under my mom's insurance, so we looked for a psychiatrist and made an appointment. My mom attended the first session; but She did not truly believe I have ADHD so was quick to blame my "laziness" and "disorganization" on lack of discipline and her divorce. She focused on my "anxiety" over being "abandon". For example, I've always spoken really fast and have to repeat myself a lot. But I've done this since as long as I could remember, I just feel like I have a lot to say and short time to say it. When the Dr. asked about this, my mom was quick to blame it on the divorce. I was fidgeting a lot, but he took it as another sign of anxiety. I did not get a full diagnosis of ADHD I think, but he did put me on Strattera.
I never took the medication, I had failed the semester again and felt like I was not worth it. I dropped out of school. A couple of years pass, and I decided to come back to school to finish. I changed my degree and I start taking class I like. Every day is a struggle, and I feel like I spend my life playing catchup. I was suppose to graduate last spring, but I forgot to apply for graduation. It was on my to do list, but I lost the list. It was too late before I realized it. I even lied to my mom and told her my graduation plan was messed up and I have take a class this fall. I was too ashamed.
I spend the summer working in a research lab. The Phd I work for saw potential in me and promoted me to his Research assistant / lab manager. So here I am, 27 years old, heading into my final semester, Aug 2021. I have more responsibilities than ever and already I can tell things are falling through the cracks. I decided to get tested again. The provider I saw diagnosed me with ADHD in August and put me on Strattera. It worked for the emotional regulation and I did enjoy the numbing effect. But it did very little for the motivational aspect, but I was just happy the racing thoughts were controlled. For the first time I could hear myself think.
It made me so sleepy though. During my check up last Monday, my mother went with me. She is now my biggest supporter and I know she feels guilty over not getting me help sooner. During the appointment I tell the provider everything was fine because I never want to come across as "drug seeking", an adult ADHD stigma we have to avoid. I never even want to mention the dreaded "stimulant" word. But my mom cuts me off and is honest with the provider. She tells her about how some symptoms have improved, but asks what else can help because I've been taking 3 naps a day and Strattera is not working. Surprisingly, the provider puts me on a stimulant.
Once I was diagnosed, I thought about registering with the counseling department at my school. You could go through here to get special accommodations. But there is such a bad stigma about asking for help when "all you have is ADHD", I did not do it. I remember this one time, a professor rolled his eyes in class when a person approached him regarding accommodations.
I pick up my RX on Monday and take my first dose on Tuesday. Which I should not have done, I had 2 midterms that day and I'm already feeling kind of stressed. I should have waited. It was my first time taking a stimulant and it really affected me. I was able to get through my neurobiology exam, but for the afternoon test, I felt like I was in a fog. I can focus on everything and nothing at the same time. This just made me more frustrated and I think it caused a panic attack. I was too scared to drive, so I email my abnormal psych professor to explain the problem. I don't hear back from her for a week. In the meantime, the stimulant effect has mellowed out and I am now doing much better.
I've surprise myself with what I could accomplish in a day. I actually studying on Saturday, and don't even have a test coming up. This sounds simple, but I would never have done it 6 months ago.
I hear from my professor today and she will only allow makeups if I provide her with a diagnosis / treatment letter AND I have to be approved by the counseling department at school.
I called up the clinic and I explain the situation. I can feel the front office person's judgment from across the phone. "You have us to write you a letter because you missed an exam??" she asked multiple times. I am now so scared of not being believe I have ADHD and being thought of as a "medication seeker". I am so scared for tomorrow.
Do you have any advice on what I could do? Or how I can calm down? Could my psychiatrist dismiss me as a patient over this?
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ADHD
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Anyone else had a partner, whether long term or just sexual, who choked them during sex without permission?
I was in a long term relationship 5 years ago where my bf at the time choked me during sex without permission. The first time it happened, I thought he was trying to kill me. He did it so hard and had this look in his eye that scared the shit out of me. I reached out and tried to hit him/kick him, I could feel my face turning red.
Unfortunately I was so under his spell that I never confronted him about it. Only people who have been in that kind of relationship really get what that means.
I still shudder when I think about it.
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ptsd
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Anyone else completely unable to talk while they complete a task?
Certain tasks my brain can autopilot and I’m able to talk. Usually with complicated things like stuff at work, but most things it’s impossible.
Last night I was talking to my partner in bed and I was trying to set my alarm on my phone and I looked down and realized I had just typed “7” into my calculator.
Why are simple tasks so hard to multitask with, but when I’m at work I feel like I can keep track of at least two things at once?
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ADHD
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I had one of the worst sensory overload episodes I've ever had yesterday and for the last 32 hours, almost all of my senses have changed:
Touch
Anything I touch feels like it's stabbing me certain materials such as wood I can't feel anymore other then the fact they are cold or warm, or even new sensations from certain materials that feel like materials that I've never felt before.
Hearing / Noise
I can easily be set off if its too loud or if I simply don't like it, such as loud screeching noises from alarms or the rustling of plastic.
Vision
I begin losing my provisional vision, my vision to my left and right almost have a delay in them of 4 seconds.
Perception
Wherever im on the verge or having an episode, things start repeating and start getting alot worse. Like I will see my hand move twice to the movement it did 3 seconds ago or the person in front of me says the same thing twice.
Taste
Food such as beef taste incredibly salty to me and now eggs don't really taste like that distinct egg taste anymore.
Smell
I can smell alot easier, I could smell my friend putting lipstick on a few feet away from me and I'm alot more picky about if I like the smell or not.
Im not sure if this is relevant but about a month ago I had space cakes for the first time and had a very very bad trip, and the trip is similar to the experience I have when I have these episodes of sensory overload, but it wouldn't make much sense for psychosis or anything drug induced to happen a month later? Maybe this could be HPPD or something on the lines of that? I haven't taken anything since the incident of the trip, I haven't even smoked or drank.
I ended up going to A&E today and had psychical I had tests done but they ruled out it was just a panick attack or just anxiety, but I've had panick attacks and they are nothing like this, it almost feels like I'm dying every time I go through it.
I hope this makes a bit of sense and if anyones had a similar experience let me know :)
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aspergers
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So I have a bad habit of deliberately looking at things that I know will trigger me. I try to lie to myself and say it’s some form of exposure therapy but I doubt I’m doing it right because I feel like shit afterwards every single time. My trauma is over something stupid anyway that happened over 4 years ago but I still get upset at any mention of it. I feel like by now I should’ve gotten over it and moved on like the grown up I’m trying to be but I just feel stuck as a helpless teenager. (I’m 22) Why do I look at things for the sole purpose of triggering myself? I know it only makes it worse but it’s like a form of self harm where I do it anyway because I feel like I deserve the pain. I’m just sick of myself.
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ptsd
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I am curious how people would feel if someone else with ADHD straight up asked you if you had it after you show some common trait of it? Would you find it rude or would you just see it as someone trying to find something in common? This might happen often because it's hard not to blurt things out and I am wondering if it is actually rude?
In my opinion it's totally fine, ADHD is a common thing and is not something to be ashamed of especially if the other person has it. It would be exciting to me if someone brought it up since I love connecting and talking about it. Being outed when you don't want people to know is something as well though so it really must depend on context.
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ADHD
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Every year around this time I get this strange feeling. Like nostalgia but in a negative way.
I get these overwhelming build ups of sadness where I sometimes just randomly cry even though there’s no reason to feel sad.
This started when I was 17 (I’m 21 now)
I was just wondering if anyone else can relate.
Ps I live a really happy life usually and apart from this isolated period I feel fine
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depression
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I've read a lot of posts and memes about how great it is when two aspies get together and find someone who understands them. That it's much easier to talk to and understand other aspies.
In my life, I've never felt that. I've actually found it much harder to be interested other autistic people and I often find that we have little in common other than things like sensory issues and executive dysfunction. Yes, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one dealing with these issues but that alone is not enough for me to form an attachment to a person.
I've found that I typically like and enjoy being around NT people. Almost all of my friends are NT and the ones that I am closest to are NT. I wish that I could connect better with these NT people in my life, whereas I never feel that desire with other autistic people.
That being said, forming such a connection is basically impossible for me. It's hard to describe, but I feel like there will always be a disconnect or some invisible gap between me and the NT people in my life, even those in my family that I love dearly.
I worry that I am not doing a good job of being a friend/family member because I don't express myself in the ways that they expect or would like me to. This isn't their fault anymore than it is mine. NT are hard-wired to look for and react to eye contact, for example, and I am hard-wired to not care about it. Yes it would be great if we would both lean across the aisle and try to understand each other more but I don't blame them for behaving the way they evolved to (or myself for behaving the way I do).
I was wondering if others here have had this experience of "vibing" more with NT than autistic people but not being able to connect in the way that you would like. If so, how do you handle it?
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aspergers
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My OCD has taken control of this situation.
I just leased a brand new truck from my lifelong car company. Although new it had a braking clunk issue and I took it to the dealership to be looked at. They acknowledged it was messed up but couldn't figure out what it was so they replaced everything and it still made the sound and they gave it back to me saying it was safe and it must be normal
I was frustrated and scheduled something to another dealership that was a decent drive from my house. I was told to come on in to compare it to other vehicles to see if they made the same sound. I made the long drive and when I got there I was told I was not allowed to compare it to the other vehicles
I was beyond pissed for the back and forth and called the 1800 car company hoteline to complain. I told the customer service person I needed this figured out or I was going to have a lawyer look into breaking my lease and switching car companies. The 1800 guy was like "no sir let us see what we can do we don't want to loose you etc"
Long story short I got it taken care of and we're All good now but here is where my OCD sets in.
I've been ruminating and freaking out that my car company is going to terminate my lease or ban me from ever purchasing or leasing from them again because I threatened to get a lawyer involved or something. I can't stop ruminating and trying to convince myself that won't happen and that I won't be banned from ever purchasing this brand of car again or that they'll take my vehicle back
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OCD
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Does anyone here have experience with free/affordable online courses for coding that you or a friend took with relative success? This is something I've always been interested in and have tried a few times but never stuck with.
I'm a graphics professional who would like to learn web design type stuff as well as software coding for automation in my day to day tasks/maybe some app development type stuff.
Thanks love you
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ADHD
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Had my new bed delivered today. I wasn’t home alone or anything. My mom was at the top of the stairs and my brother was in his room right across the hall.. It was two guys, both very kind. I have no idea what it was but I felt the panic rising.. I tried to push it down and did until it all built up and finally came out with full on ugly crying.
I don’t know if maybe they looked like an abuser or if they said something. I can’t remember. I just can’t shake the panic and I hate that I don’t feel normal yet.
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ptsd
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I had a good day today, and decided I would try to respond to a bunch of the new posts to help. But I don't know if I'm helping, or if what I'm saying is making it worse. And does it even matter? We all die anyways and in a few generations most of us are totally forgotten
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depression
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So I went to the psychiatrist a few months ago to get diagnosed because I am having a lot of trouble with chores, academia, and being depressed because of it so I told them what I am having trouble with and they said I cannot have ADHD because I was a good student in elementary school and I was in gifted classes I believed what they said because I was not really knowledgable on the topic back then and I did some googling and turns out a lot of people with ADHD and have been doing well in elementary school get turned down from being diagnosed with ADHD and much later in life they would get diagnosed, so I went back a week ago and told them that I cannot focus on my school and I have no issues focusing on engaging video games it's just anything that is boring I cannot do. they're still not convinced but they put me on atomoxetine 25mg (i used to be on escitalopram 20mg). I asked for ADHD questionnaire and emailed it back to them. I am not sure what to do, I am really comfortable with them and I think they're really good at their job it's just outdated views on ADHD, what should i do?
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ADHD
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All my life, like clockwork, the same few shitty things keep happening again and again. I don't know why this has been the case, but it makes me feel like I'm living in hell. Maybe venting to the internet will help that feeling a little.
All my friends and family have abandoned me at some point, except my grandma. All the pets I've been closest with have been taken away from me prematurely. All my relationships have ended in me being cheated on. Over and over again throughout my life I've been deprived of a bed and forced to sleep on couches or futons. (that last one may sound small but trust me you do not want to spend 12 years of a 23 year life on couches, especially when you're 6 feet tall. I have scoliosis with a 12 degree curve in my spine because I never get to stretch out, and I've become a chronic insomniac).
Right now, all the loops are repeating. I caught my live-in partner cheating, and she abandoned me and our years of partnership as soon as I confronted her. She took all my friends in the city, leaving me with literally no one I know in this entire state. She took all our pets away, including *my* dog. She took away the fucking bed, leaving me alone in an empty house with nowhere to sleep but a couch that's too short for me. Every morning I wake up after about 5 hours of sleep, with my back and my legs in searing pain.
So yeah, it pretty much feels like I'm living in The Bad Place™️. I doubt anyone will even see this post, since that would pretty much fit the pattern. :/
edit: and yes I know, my problems are extremely first world and whiny. I know I'm being a baby about it but when you've been surrounded by flakey people and the kind of physical pain only the elderly are supposed to feel for as long as you can remember, it's hard not to be a baby about it.
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depression
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What do you do in situations when you have to do a compulsion that’s outwardly very odd, but there’s people behind you waiting for you to finish
Like I know it’s looks and seems super stupid and I feel really judged because of it but at the same time I just have to do it, whoever behind me literally has to watch me and wait and it makes me feel super uncomfortable.
How does anyone else deal with this?
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OCD
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my ocd primarily manifests in indecisiveness and it ruins my life. i have been on fluvoxamine for a bit, switching to sertraline tomorrow. i‘m just curious whether medication has helped anyone struggling with a similar manifestation of ocd?
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OCD
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I know asking how to manage my time better is a million dollar question, but has anyone found any helpful ways to get through an insanely busy and stressful time? I’m in my last year of college and this semester is wrecking me - some of the classes I’m taking are pretty intense but I’m also working two jobs on top of school and I’ve never done that before. I have no option to quit anything or lesson my load, as one of the jobs is also counting toward credit as an internship, and the other is a magazine at my school and I’m in a management role so I can’t just quit mid-semester. But I have way more than I can manage right now and I’m super burnt out already. I constantly feel behind and like I’m slacking on everything. Has anyone gotten through a time like this successfully and have any tips to share?
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ADHD
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But I'm exhausted from lying in bed for 2 days sleeping and not eating or drinking water.
I need to shower. It's been over a week.
But I don't have any clean clothes to change into.
So I'll have to do laundry.
But first, I really need to eat something and rehydrate.
I don't have much that wouldn't need to be cooked. I really need to go grocery shopping.
I don't have any clean dishes.
I guess I can have some peanut butter and crackers. Not much of a meal.
As for the laundry... before I go to the laundry room I'll need to at least brush my hair and teeth, and hope no one comes in and sees how disgusting and grubby I am.
Once the laundry is done I still have to shower. Put on clean clothes. And then somehow I'm supposed to drag myself to the bus stop, to the pharmacy, and back home. Right now I can barely muster the strength to get up from my bed. It's going to be dark in a few hours and I don't have much time.
I think it would be easier if I just went back to bed. I can try again tomorrow.
Good night.
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depression
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Do you ever feel like you're losing your fucking mind? Because I do sometimes. My anxiety comes out physically through when I'm aware of it and sometimes I'm not.
I was experiencing tingling in my arms from the effects of my medication I was on (last year) and I thought I was having a heart attack that I hyperventilated, almost passing out. Other times, tingling from maybe wearing a hair tie for too long gives me anxiety (stroke.) I have poor posture and it affected my back so when I sit, my back felt like a "burning sensation" that went away when I stood up. Immediately thought of Gilda Radner who realized she had cancer from pain (mine didn't hurt.)
But all of this combined gives me the worst anxiety. But when I work through it with my therapist, eventually the physical symptoms just...stop?
Anyone ever experience reoccurring symptoms? I even went to a neurologist who said my symptoms were somatic.
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ptsd
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I've been suffering from general malevolence/harm OCD and most especially the banned one for 3 years and only recently found out about OCD. I fulfill pretty much everything, intrusive thoughts, isolation, doubts, depression etc.
2 weeks ago my obsession topic randomly changed completely. It's still about me being a bad person, but mixed with real event OCD. I'm thinking about opening up to a friend since he's the only one I can talk to about these memories (before going to a therapist), but I'm unsure how it would go. I would not mention the banned topic unless I am 100% sure he believes me. However saying you're scared around knifes or scissors because harm OCD still makes me question what the reaction would be even after showing him multiple sites/explanations.
Thoughts?
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OCD
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Hi All,
Just as the title says, life’s been pretty tough and I hate work beyond any words that could be used to describe how much I dislike it. Has anyone got advice and what is your job?
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aspergers
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I noticed something about myself today, a part of me is worried ill forget - I'll forget to google this thing or watch this video unless I do it right now. So I bounce all over the joint. Have to learn to have more faith in my ability to remember, and not worry about keeping the thought in my head while I do something else.
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ADHD
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Hi! this is my last resort to getting answers so PLEASE reply. I know negative self talk is an intrusive thought but is negative talk about other people one too? eg. "i hate you" "f you" "i wish you'd get hurt{ in this specific way}". I've researched so much and nothing has come up on it .i dont really think these things and get disgusted when i do, i try to get out of places where im around people as quick as i can and its usually my family which sucks. its like a seperate brain but now im getting worried if it isnt an intrusive thought. please help
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OCD
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The show is about a PhD reading facial expressions to determine emotions in criminals with the purpose of preventing/solving crime.
It has been a really interesting watch for me to learn a little more about spotting expressions (I am not sure all the info in the show is legit but it feels like it could be)
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aspergers
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I've had a lot of changes in teachers this 2 months, I've had 3 math teachers and 2 language teachers already. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I wake everyday late to school get there sit down try to talk with my friends and stare at what we are doing then get distracted with the ipad (we use it for school). It feels like the class ends so quickly and I haven' t learnt anything, I just bore and confused so I try use the internet as a source of scape but it doesn't work as it used to.
My friend keeps distracting me and I don't want to get mad, but it drives me crazy. She is always so organized and stuff and she keep talking about the homework she has done that I haven't, she explains to other people what we are learning while the teacher is still talking so I have like 30 conversations around me, she makes noises and even if I tell her to please try to make it less noisy because it makes me anxious she says that it's just her habit and to deal with it (tye noises overwelm me a lot)
I think she is kind to explain people things and help others, but I feel she understimates me when I don't have work done and she just wants me to copy hers, or if we have work to do that she has already done.
It would be good if I just wanted to copy, but I'm already confused in every subject we have and it doesn't help. The fact that some classmates cut the teacher off because they already know the material it's negative for me, because that means the teachers would stop trying to explain it deeply and slowly.
I'm just so friggin confused, it's like torture because I can definetly understand the subjects but I just seem to hear and see what is happening without processing the information. I have 4 exams next week and 2 projects due that I haven't started working on yet, and I'm going crazy.
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ADHD
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In this situation, I feel I should die to get better
And I still have a lot of walls left so I feel like I can't help me anymore
Well, I will listen to people's opinions and decide what to do
The reason is that it is more likely that I will go in the right direction if I listen to people's opinions.
I apologize for my bad English
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depression
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It was painful, I am still shaking, but so glad I did them! OCD, you're NOT taking over my life!
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OCD
|
This happened two years ago, March of 2017, but really, it started way before that. My dad was and still is an angry drunk with diabetes, and the two do not mix well. He was constantly abusive, controlling, stalking, violent and even more things with my mom. He is a big believer in the right to own guns, so needless to say he had a lot. Since I was a few weeks old, he would abuse me with almost the same intensity as my mom. He would hit us, threaten us, scare us half to death, you name it, he probably did it, and I've seen it all. I'm not an only child though, my two sisters are younger than me, but they were never mistreated as much as we were.
One night after an argument between my parents, my mom left the house to her friends place. My dad asked me to come downstairs and into the garage. He unlocked the safe over in the small walkway, and took a shotgun out of it, and gave it to me, saying "If I lash out again, I want you to do what you need to do, to protect family." This was strange for his behavior, but I accepted.
Eventually, he lashed out again on my mom. This one was serious though. Much louder than ever before. I went downstairs a little bit during the confrontation, and I knew he was going to do something by the way he was acting. He told me and my sister (Who was also listening and arguing a little bit) to go back up to our rooms. I did as I was told, but it wasn't long before I had enough. Something snapped in me, and I picked up the gun. I contemplated going down to say something, and I made the dumb decision of doing so. Once he saw that gun he charged at me, I still see the image in my head to this day. I could've blown his leg off, or even killed him. He took the gun away and wrestled with my mom over her gun she had, not knowing what would happen. (I'm leaving out a ton of small details, I know.) He left for Arizona the next day. Skipping over a bit, like him coming back and us having to go to a woman's shelter, skipping school and getting bronchitis, it's been a few years since. My mom lost all her local friends, and I'm currently in the same boat as her. I've started going to EMDR therapy, and that's helping a little bit. I've tried telling the friends I have left about it but I feel like they would leave me. I've been getting less and less sleep recently. Whenever I try to sleep I keep getting the images of my dad coming at me again. I know this all sounds vague, and I'm sorry. I would put more details in, but it's 12 o'clock and I just needed to vent. If you have any questions or anything, I'll get to them as soon as possible. I just wanted to share my experience.
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ptsd
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I am a bit upset that my collegues have their own friends and my wishes for them being really good friends kinda fails since they are closer to people they are at dorms with and hang out I really just wanted better connections but as someone who lives in the city college is at I dont know much people and I cant do but join clubs and people are not that active so since i am not at dorms I am fucked and it really hurts me how they talk about constantly partying and playing games. People always saw me a different way but for whatever reason in school certain people really made my life hell, I went through stalking, ruined personal objects, them throwing in the trash my presents, throwing food at me, basket balls, laughing at everything I do, and asking for help was hard since usually teachers made it worse and I only asked for help when i was in severely bad state.
I am never a party person and will never be and I feel like I missed out on everything cool since my classmates in high school were abusive and no one wanted to hang out with me so the only people that didnt treat me like a tumour were the people outfits of school but it really hurt while i was a teen, my own classmates that excluded me to talk near me about going tothe beach or going with cars somewhere but no one thinking about me.
Like the class in 12th grade once ran out and no one thought of me and some people wickdly laughed at me since i didnt have a car and boys just didnt like me so they accepted only whores I usually got home wth the bus, even though it was a 1 hour ride but that really stung and it made me cry the whole ride on the bus since i didnt really need that and by the time.
I was 18 I was so fucking done with the bullying that even hearing their voices made me shake I never managed to develop any friendship with those that didnt bully me and it was like the class was in groups, but all somehow seemed to get along except for me since I didnt fit their standarts of normal, which was never studying, always partying, being mean, and even if some people were not bullie, they werent bullied since they were liked by the bullies And I dont know kinda weird to be 18 have a boyfriend/girlfriend have a car and generally be a whole adult ready to leave high school and still acct ike you are ten and be bad and laugh at people and think it is funny like okay
I dont own a car why laugh at me, maybe I just have other priorities in life at 18 like take care of my mother with cancer so if guys dont like me romantically or at all, it is not my problem. Idk to me bullying is a childish thing and the fact that people dont overgrow it is really weird, because you do not win anything by bullying a girl who suffers from mental illness and doesn't have friends, no one to talk to or defend her, a boyfriend and generally shallow things. Like she doesn't have anything, great job at making her even more insecure until she wants to kill her self. I really can't understand why they didn't just pretend to like me or at least act civil and continued to bully me until prom and I spent the entire prom alone on a table until two boys pitied me and sat but didn't talk to me, I begged my father to take me since I felt like shit and they still acted cold and shitty to me on prom too. Okay, I get it. You don't like me.
You made the life of a girl hell to the point until she tried to kill her self, happy? I just personally feel bad because no matter what I did to prevent it ''or correct my self '' or fit in, it didn't work or make people bully me less and the worst of it all is that i had high morals and didn't bother anyone and was overly nice which somehow translated into me being weak and meek for whatever reason. I also struggled to have friends but on the other hand it is not my fault, I can't force anyone to be my friend or sit next to me, but being alone, like existing alone on a chair, in my life was always an invitation for bullies and idk why.
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ptsd
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Hey everybody, in my journey to heal from PTSD I realised that focussing in the here and now is really important. Since a week, every evening I try to think about the positive things I encountered that day. Instead of only focussing on the negatives I want to ask you as well to share what made you smile this week? :) What did you hear, feel, and see at that moment? I will share mine as well: today I met an Italian Greyhound for the first time in my life. It is my favourite dog breed, and I love dogs. We were outside in the fresh air and I saw a beautiful landscape (autumn is truly beautiful) and I was surrounded by people who start friendly conversations with strangers easily. I felt comfortable and happy.
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ptsd
|
Hi! I’m a uni student and we’re getting closer and closer to the end of the semester. I have a hard time to keep myself motivated to study and turn in assignments/reports. ADHD makes the while thing an absolute chore. Apparently, wanting to be successful or wanting good grades just aren’t big enough motivators to keep me going.
So, what are your tips and tricks to stay motivated and see tasks through?
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ADHD
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So I got diagnosed with PTSD today by my psychiatrist yesterday. I looked up the symptoms and my therapists explained some of the symptoms so I understood more about it. I took a test and I already panicked when there was a PTSD questionnaire. The symptoms were mostly not applicable to me, but the ones that were, made so much sense. So even then I knew somewhat that I may have it. I always thought I had PTSD, but I didn't experience flashbacks or nightmares. So I thought I didn't have it since I didn't have those. I guess I was wrong. I don't know how to feel about it. Like on one hand I'm relieved because I can know more about myself mentally and know more about how my body reacts. But at the same time, I don't know how to feel about it. The cause of my trauma is my mom. She "disciplined" me super hard as a child and I guess my mind got fucked over by that ever since. I also had bad experiences at a daycare where the family in charge abused me. This was when I was like 3 or 4 I guess and I didn't even have the maturity to know what was going on. I just feel so fucking useless. I can't do anything because I don't get pleasure from everything and my source of my trauma is still healthy and vibrant with no signs of slowing down. At the minimum, I have to stay with her for 2 years. I have no other living situation if I even graduate from high school. I just want to go live in a farm and raise animals and grow plants and no one knowing I exist or caring about me. I just want to escape the outside world. But I can't because I'm not even useful enough to get funds. I'm that incapable of being productive in society. Sorry. Just really tired and mad at my situation and the pity life I have.
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ptsd
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My dumb OCD ass hide the scissors so well that I can't find them when I actually need them
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OCD
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I’m starting strattera and Prozac sometime soon and just curious how it’s mix affected other people? Been reading some stuff online that’s kinda concerning just wanna hear some personal experiences so I can get a better idea of what to expect. My psychiatrist hasn’t really said anything about it and this is the first adhd type med I’ll ever have taken so I’m a bit scared tbh.
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ADHD
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ok basically, i'm a nearly 22 year old U.S male that suffers from severe PTSD (sexual, physical abuse, seeing all the corpses of my loved ones besides my dad and brother [my abusers], watching my mother die of a drug overdose at 16, bullying) depression, anxiety, probably OCD and asperger's.
i have decided that i'm done with people after what happened this month. i was sexually assaulted by A last year and subsequently lost all my friends and was called crazy and ostracized (that's what you get for speaking up as a male), and eventually this turned to me being accused of sexual assault/rape. that night was the first time i blacked out and i am still trying to quit drinking.
i asked someone i was friends with the girl earlier this month if i could talk to her. they started berating me and calling me obsessive and a psychopath and halfway through they said "why don't you just call her then?" (that was what initiated the conversation, me asking if i could) and screenshotted a bunch of shit, called me a rapist and said it i contacted them again, their "people would be coming". so i got on FB a few days later and saw that they'd accepted the FR from 2 months ago (meaning they were just looking at my shit), and i messaged them "no, stop, i do not want to be stalked [blah blah blah] the Freemasons are coming, beware" and apparently this person believes that i have a hand in Freemasonry and can just sic them on people, and took this as a fucking threat rather than a satirical rerort to "my people will be coming"
i got a message from my step-sister while she was at fucking work that this person messaged her telling me i was harassing and threatening them. i checked the screenshots she sent of a post accusing me of threatening them and i was being massacred in the comments and people speculated i was autistic (yes) or schizophrenic (totally believable if you don't view the context of them saying their 'people' would be after me), etc. i have since deleted all social media and decided that people are mostly bad and i'm a problematic person and paranoid autistic people shouldn't use social media. seriously, if you have it delete it, social media fucking blows for the socially inept
in 2020 i held a job down for 6 months but eventually quit due to social pressure. i got too involved with workplace drama, and you all know as aspergers that being bullied, manipulated, and taken advantage of are all parts of the package. i could start school in the fall/spring as a Junior but idk if i can do it. i have no job. i drink a lot to reduce my anxiety and am addicted to Xanax
i am not going to Joker out - but it is clear society doesn't want me. i'm just simply done trying to fit in. i don't want to go to bars, travel, work exciting jobs, etc. i would just like to live a survivalist lifestyle with no qualms with anyone. i guess what i have are a gym membership, a big house, a $30k car, $10k+ in the bank, guitars and cats.
i hate going to the gym and seeing people i know and making bullshit smalltalk
can anyone help me?
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aspergers
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Does anybody get anxiety about ocd and sleeping? Just woken up from an awful dream and trying to reason with my thoughts rather than letting my brain get triggered.
Also any advice to combat or help manage is very welcome
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OCD
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Not sure if this at all is within the realm of ROCD, but I've been having a lot of intrusive thoughts related to my therapist and the therapeutic alliance I have with her. I keep thinking that she hates me or doesn't think that I'm acceptable. I don't ask her for any reassurance, but I'm noticing that I haven't really been able to tolerate or accept the thoughts, either, despite having them for weeks.
At this point, it's almost like I WANT her to tell me that she hates me or she will get really pissed off at me during a session and tell me to stop whining about my problems. As devastating as that experience would be, at least it would give me certainty 🥴 Instead, she just keeps up the usual non-judgmental, relatively neutral persona ... and my mind just freaks out trying to figure out her "real" perception of me. So sick of this.
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OCD
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I’ve tried communities such as r/autisticpride and certain discord groups but I always end up feeling like I’m not enough of an activist.
What I mean is, within the autistic community there seems to be a great deal of identity politics (ugh, I hate this term). A lot of folks get really riled up about things pertaining to autistic rights and perceived ableism and while I agree that these are very important issues, it’s just *exhausting*.
I’ve been told I’m being ableist for saying I have Aspergers even though I was diagnosed 18 years ago and for me it’s an easier way to communicate exactly how I am. I’ve scolded as being privileged because I can get along really well with neurotypical groups and dare to make the suggestion that they aren’t these bad “others” I often see them portrayed as.
This is just my personal experience, and I just wanna hang with some fellow Spergs without the baggage of social activism dragging me down.
Again I hold no beef against the community at large, it’s just that it seems very standoffish and easy to offend at times.
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aspergers
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Been dealing with this theme for years now, I usually have a theme for a couple months then another one comes along for example, I was afraid of going blind, getting herpes, loosing my memory. I would have compulsions with all of them like i would check if any parts of my vision had dark spots 24/7, cleaned the toilet seat before sitting down in my own house, try to remember my whole childhood but they would eventually replace themselves with something else, I would still think about them occasionally but my compulsions got better with time. But this ocd theme sucks cuz I can’t watch horror movies or listen to loud aggressive music without thinking “ima start to believe in some of the vulgar things they say or do and go manic” even having the fan on triggers me I always think “ima believe the fan sound is some alien tryna communicate with me one day” even having the fan off and having my room quiet triggers me, it has me in my thoughts all the time and they’re all over the place i get hyper focus on any noise that happens. Also when it’s quiet I can hear my ears ringing since I have tinnitus problems it makes me go insane with the thoughts. On bad days I would have to check if I’m seeing anything that I’m not supposed to (hallucinations) or even hearing anything. I would casually try to ask whoever was me something along the lines, “oh you hear that” “oh you see that man standing selling mangos...kinda want some”, so they wouldn’t question me. This ocd theme slowly progress to more manic themed fears and I researched more mental illness and slowly feared multiple personality disorder, bipolarness and even dementia, even tho I’m 19. It’s gotten significantly better. I have good days and absolutely bad ones but there hasn’t been a day, in the past almost 3 years, where I don’t think about going insane. Anyone else deal with this theme and how have you improved ? I started some medication about 5 yrs ago, used it for 2 years, it really helped me with my depression and the fear of going blind which is second on my worst theme list after my fear of going insane. I was on and off after those 2 years might go back on them soon but I wanted to see how I can improve without them first.
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OCD
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That's a bit too much sometimes. Anyone else find this to be the case? I am much better at speaking when it is something I can recite rather than something I need to think about.
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aspergers
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Have any of you observed an unhealthy habit in yourself and trying to fix it (overcorrecting) has lead to rather extreme OCD. I have ocd (doesn’t rule my life now as it once did) and I firmly believe that it all stems from overcorrecting, and an attempt at perfectionism.
For example, I used to be pretty untidy and sloppy. I then begun copying healthy habits from other people, but I became obsessed with being this new ‘perfect’ version of myself, that the formerly healthy habit was now extremely mentally unhealthy.
I’d like to know if any of you had had experience with this? 😳
I guess it requires a certain level of self awareness? I’m finally learning to relax and just let sloppy me be as natural as possible, but keeping tidy where I can etc Just basically not getting hung up and obsessional with things.
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OCD
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I have OCD and ADHD.
I just have so many things I want to do and its becoming very difficulty to do all of them which causes me to become paralyzed by the options. This need for perfection has caused a feeling of missing out and always feeling some kind of inadequacy.
​
Not sure hwo to get rid of the feeling of missing out
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OCD
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I know this post is gonna be confusing & sound absolutely crazy but please give it a read it would be the world to me.
Hello, I’ve been dealing with severe OCD/ intrusive thoughts for basically as long as I can remember (I’m 21 now). Usually when I have OCD fueled thoughts I can tell they’re probably irrational despite how awful they are. But currently I am having potentially OCD thoughts that feel more real than ever & I feel like I’m bordering on complete delusion. I’m gonna do my best to explain my thoughts because they don’t even make complete sense to me so here we go. I’m sorry if these thoughts sound completely self centered & insane but these are the genuine thoughts I’m having at the moment.
I’m having thoughts that I’m either above or completely separate from everything & everyone. Some of these thoughts are telling me my way of thinking/ analyzing is beyond other people’s thought processes & I see things in arguments/ situations that other people can’t see or can’t understand. Some of these thoughts are telling me that I’m so damaged (due to my extensive past with severe mental health, trauma, being very sick for the past year without doctors being able to tell me what’s wrong, & other unfortunate life situations) that nobody can or ever will understand me or be able to fathom what I’ve been through. Lastly some of these thoughts are telling me I’ve lived the worst life of any other human to ever exist and have experienced unfathomable pain. I guess these thoughts are working together to completely isolate me from everyone & everything. I’m not sure if my brain is telling me I’m above these things or if I’m just so damaged that these things in life serve me no purpose because I’m so isolated from everything & everyone.
Obviously these thoughts are very scary, confusing, and sound delusional but they feel so real & powerful. Has my trauma & current mental illness destroyed me this much? Are these thoughts my genuine thoughts or can they just be my OCD coming on more powerful than ever. I know OCD attacks the things you fear the most and this is definitely very scary to me. I also know OCD uses thoughts that are very hard to figure out in order to keep you stuck in the same loop of thoughts. All I know is I don’t want to feel or think like this I wanna be just like everyone else. I want to be able to regain my empathy I once had and let go of these thoughts and feelings of isolation. Can very intense OCD make you feel/ start to believe something this strongly? I’m very scared & feel so isolated & lost. Is this just powerful OCD/intrusive thoughts, some sort of other type of delusion, or my genuine thoughts? I want to be able to move past this & heal from what life as put me through. I guess one last note would be is that I also suffer from depersonalization/ derealization that also make me feel pretty isolated at times. Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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OCD
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Really at my wits' end and don't know what to do. So I suspect I have asperger's but I'm still on a waiting list for assessment. I'm 35F and moved back in with my parents last year. I had been living on my own and managing to get by, although I struggle a lot with executive dysfunction. I guess I managed by cooking things that were easy even if they weren't healthy, by spending hours at a time building up the energy to do simple tasks and then spending hours recovering, and things like that. Then I would be exhausted and sleep a lot. I wasn't able to earn enough money to live off so my parents were helping me with money.
I am trying to improve myself and get to the point where I can be independent. I'm in therapy and on medication for anxiety. I'm trying to eat better and exercise more to improve my physical health. I've taken some classes in editing and I do some unpaid writing and editing for a website - I'm hoping to eventually set up a freelance editing business.
I've recently stopped taking an antidepressant that was causing some bad side effects. However, the withdrawal has also been causing side effects (fatigue, brain zaps, nausea, an upset stomach from most things I eat, some "flu-like symptoms") , so I've had a rough couple of weeks.
This morning my dad started saying that he'd moved some of my stuff, and I pointed out that he'd put a table leg on top of the wire from my laptop, which can really damage it. I figured he would apologise and try to be a bit more careful not to damage my stuff in the future, but instead he said that it's my own fault if my stuff gets damaged because I have too much mess in the living room, and he and my mum both started getting angry at my for not having tidied it up yet.
Some of this mess is stuff that I haven't organised or found a place for yet since moving back home. Yes it has been a long time, but I did already put in a lot of effort and I organised and put away about 80% of the stuff that was originally there. The rest is in some neat-ish piles, fairly out of the way. Obviously I struggle with executive function so it will be a huge amount of effort to organise the rest, and on any given day I have to choose between doing that or prioritising working towards my business (which will get me out of my parents house faster), doing my own chores and cooking (so my parents don't have to help out as much with that), working on my health (so that I have more energy to take care of myself), etc. I feel like I'm constantly just trying to figure out the most effective way to reduce the burden I'm putting on my parents.
Of course, eventually I will get around to organising my stuff, but every time I've seriously talked to my parents about it, and about what I should prioritise, they have told me to prioritise other things, like working towards my business or working on my health. So I do that, and then they get angry with me for it and imply that I should have done the opposite of what they said and prioritised organising my stuff instead, and that because I didn't, I deserve to have my belongings damaged.
Another thing that confuses me is that throughout my childhood and when I was a teenager, the house was always completely full of mess. Not because I wasn't putting things back in their proper place or anything, but because things didn't even have a proper place, my parents never tidied things up, and they never asked me to tidy things up. There were always just piles of random stuff all over the house - that's just how my parents kept things. So it confuses me that my parents are suddenly so angry about things being slightly messy, when they were fine with things being much, much more messy the whole time I was growing up. When I asked about this discrepancy, my parents both denied that there was ever any mess in the house when I was growing up. I know that there was, just like I know the sky is blue, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm going insane. I feel like my parents are gaslighting me at this point, though I can't really imagine them doing it on purpose. I'm just so confused, and I can't come up with an explanation for them so blatantly denying reality, but I find it really upsetting that they are.
Now, some of the mess in the living room (a few books piled on a table, and the laptop itself) is just from stuff that I'm currently working on. I have wanted to move my laptop and my working area upstairs to my bedroom where I would be out of my parents' way, but I struggled to motivate myself to sit at my desk upstairs and work on anything. I would put off tasks rather than getting them done, whereas I could get them done much more easily if I did it in the living room, sitting on the sofa. I asked my therapist for help in motivating myself to work in my bedroom, and she told me to just work in the living room if I find it easier. When I pointed out to her that some of the strategies she has me using aren't sustainable in the long run (mostly doing things in a way that's easier for me but more inconvenient for my parents), she tells me that I'm not supposed to worry about the future, and that she can't help me with that.
I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do, and I'm feeling so down, confused and hopeless. It seems that no matter what I do or how hard I try to figure out the best way to improve things for my parents, they won't be happy with it and will just get angry with me and say I should have done something else instead. I don't know what I should be prioritising any more.
Right now I need to take my anxiety medication, which of course would be simple for a lot of people, but I have to spend a huge amount of time and energy just building up the executive function skills to be able to go and get a glass of water and take the pill. So there are three alternatives. I could spend all that time and energy on taking the pill, but if I do things like that, it obviously means I'll end up not having enough time and energy to organise and tidy my stuff in the living room, which is apparently what I'm supposed to be prioritising. I could dedicate that time and energy to organising my stuff instead, and not take my pill. This would obviously worsen my mood, and my mum has specifically said that I should keep taking these pills rather than risk going through another withdrawal while I'm already in the middle of one. Or my parents could help me out by bringing me a glass of water and helping me to motivate myself to take the pill, so that I'm not spending a ton of time and energy on overcoming my executive dysfunction, but they don't seem willing to help with that right now, so I don't think that's an option.
I'm just so confused, I struggle so much with making even small decisions because of the executive dysfunction, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to calculate the best things to do each day in order to be less of a burden on my parents. But when doing this still gets me yelled at by them for apparently having done the wrong thing, and gets me told that I deserve to have my property damaged, it just leaves me completely stuck and paralysed because I have no idea what to do now. I feel alone, I feel like everything is pointless and there's just no point in even trying and no light at the end of the tunnel.
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aspergers
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Hello im 17 and my stepfather has ptsd from mutiple different experiences in his life including but not limited to the military. I do things that im not conscious of that sets him off like for example.
1.Moving my hands in jesters which he interprets/ begins to feel nervous because it looks like im going to strike him. I do that because it helps me talk easier and slower.
2.I make quick motions like "snatching" somthing out of their hands which I dont consider as snatching but ill accept that I probably am bit I dont consider how much strength I use.
3.I ask questions to understand things but he interprets that me questioning his authority when I just feel really uncomfortable doing somthing without understanding why im doing it.
Im fine with learning to improve but he cannot correct me when I do things that setshe him off because they immediately get angry and to stop themselves from lashing out in a way they will regret they just "let it slide" but keep thinking about it. They may not ever bring it up again and when they do I completely forgotten that happened or how I did something even if it was less than a minute ago. So I cannot really learn from it, it just keeps happening over and over and over again. What should I do/encourage him to do for us to get along better if we cannot even communicate in a way that will let me improve.
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ptsd
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For reference, this was the actual comment, in response to a post asking about intrusive thoughts:
I have autism, but some overlap there. Sometimes I have thoughts of sexually harming the kids I nanny, but I know I'd never do that. I also have thoughts of random people I see naked, and stuff like that. Part of it could be due to sexual trauma I went through. But I know that it's just thoughts, and I wouldn't never take advantage of a person in any way, and I'm even careful with consent to the point where I ask people if they want a hug, I never say, "Can I have a hug?" Especially to kids. So I look at my actions, and notice that it's different from my thoughts.
And someone on r/fakedisordercringe decided to find that comment, and quote only "Sometimes I have thoughts of sexually harming the kids I nanny," in a discussion post about this girl and her boyfriend who were "stimming" together. Just because this person felt like it I guess.
It's just like, if someone is on the ocd subreddit, obviously they are struggling with intrusive thoughts, so why would you make it worse for them? Like now I feel like a freaking pedophile even though I know I would never hurt a child in any way.
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OCD
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About a year ago, I finally had had enough of my anxiety and sought out therapy that specialized in anxiety. COVID was new, so a lot of what I was feeling was worry about getting sick (being high-risk) and struggling to find common ground with people in my life. I was upfront about looking to help manage anxiety and help with conversations that I found challenging - basically asking for what I needed.
I was closely following CDC guidance at the time, including following hand washing guidelines. I also was pretty nervous about being made to work in person (again, being high-risk and based on unsolicited recommendations from my PCP). My therapist diagnosed me with OCD, which was new to me but I rolled with it. I went through some ERT and they were honestly surprised by how quickly my "obsessions" resolved - I wrapped up therapy with them in a couple months.
My struggle with "accepting" my OCD diagnosis is that in many situations where I was looking to be a better advocate for myself, I was instead told that I have a mental health disorder and shouldn't respect my boundaries. I understand that OCD is a legitimate disorder, but I also believe that people operate on a spectrum of what they are comfortable with. I'm not denying that I might have OCD tendencies and some of the tools I learned were helpful for re-grounding myself, but I also feel like my diagnosis took away my power to make decisions about my body in all situations.
Examples I was looking for support on being a better advocate for myself was conversations with new sexual partners about STI testing, situations with drunk/distracted drivers, or asking my employer for remote work based on recommendations from my doctor. Instead I now feel like it's my fault that I might care more about something than someone else, have no right to speak up, and continue to make a lot of one-sided sacrifices.
Has anyone else struggled to find a balance of still respecting yourself with an OCD diagnosis?
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OCD
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I am angry because no one told me the details, no one told me that I have to be a great team worker and be firm and confidant, and I put a lot of bullshit on my resume about being a dynamic social team guy I didn't expect anyone to actually believe it and take it literally.
I am terrified I because I might screw up badly, i am terrified because I don't what other career options do I have, I am terrified because because I don't know what else to do, I am terrified because I don't know if I can adjust and learn to be ... A non aspie
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aspergers
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I have been trying to get my driver's license and it's always been tough on me. Today the lesson was particularly difficult because of all the things I had to pay attention to and act on at the same time, looking right, left, and behind for other cars, looking where I'm heading and directing the car towards it while keeping an eye on the other cars and having my signals turned on and off correctly, keeping my cars positioned correctly on the lane, and starting and stopping and shifting gears every couple second, all of which I was doing incorrectly and the instructor told me each thing simultaneously, sometime having to take control over the car because I was lost as to what I should do. After an hour of this and being very confused and feeling incompetent and just unable to understand what it was I had to do I was tearing up and then the biggest panic attack I have ever had ensued. I couldn't breathe properly, was choking, trembling, ticking, etc. like never before in the middle of the street and headed for the closest hospital.
After a while I got to speak to a nurse and psychiatrist and just unloaded everything about feeling inadequate and being misunderstood by many people, being told I'm slow, having trouble understanding seemingly simple instructions etc. They couldn't do too much except give me medication for anxiety and a list of therapist to try and talk to. But this was the first time for me talking about everything autism related and how it's affected my life so far. I've always been afraid of being wrong about my self-diagnosis but for once being able to lay it all out kind of made it feel like it didn't seem like total nonsense.
Anyway this was a pretty bad day. The panic attack lasted for 1.5h before they gave me medication. But hopefully the good medical care that I received today could be the first step towards something maybe better.
This happened just a couple hours ago so I'm still very tired and may have made some typing mistakes or maybe the phrasing isn't quite fully coherent.
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aspergers
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Hi y'all! I really wanna share this with you: the important part is in caps, the rest is explaining.
I hope this helps someone out starts a significant discussion. It blew me away.
Today I had an epiphany and would like to share and discuss with you lovely people.
I was looking at my cluttered music room and thinking I should clean it up and play more. Then I thought no, I am saving up for a down payment, I need to focus on work. No time for fun & games.
Problem is I play actual video games 1-3 hours a day! Obviously I would swap the two at least partially. My brain is smarter than that, but just leading me astray and creating an irrational barrier. I've caught myself in this before, that's nothing new, but I'm really trying to be solutions-based and pay attention to myself to figure my way through this.
In the grind of brainstorming this situation and how I know there is neurochemistry behind it I had a huge realization:
*NEUROCHEMISTRY DOESN'T HAVE A NARRATIVE, BUT YOU DO.*
Your brain is blocking an essential part of a functioning transfer of readiness-action-completion and instead feeding extra stress hormones. Your brain looks for a narrative to put this into perspective of your life and to you, you "don't feel like doing it at all/at the time" or just blank it out of your existence even if it's something you know you'd enjoy or greatly benefit from.
That can't be your narrative to others because it just sounds "lazy" and there's so many stereotypes, stigmas, etc Idon'tneedtoexplaintoyouguyslol, but your brain only has its self knowledge and contents to connect with your feelings and when there's nothing there, it will fill the void with something maybe stupid or half baked or one tracked or one sided or whatever as long as there's a facade that in a glimpse(because that's all it takes to effectively distract from an anxiety task) looks legit enough to move along from.
Anyway, I felt like this was an important thing to share. You guys have helped me so much I want to share back any way I can.
💗💗💗
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ADHD
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Life is shit for alot us even worst there is no fix to our problems staying alive feels like being tortured on a daily basis. Real clinical depression never leaves it's not like breaking up with somebody and being sad for a a few months and then finding somebody new and being happy again. The older you get the worst it becomes at least for me. I hate that society tries to make us feel guilty for wanting to end our lives we are either called weak or selfish it's BS. People that are suffering with long term depression should have the right to die it's inhumane IMO to keep us alive. Some of us just don't give a shit about living anymore and would like a peaceful exit we didn't ask to be here in the first place.
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depression
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Does anyone tend to push their friends away then feel guilty and try to reconnect after ages?
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aspergers
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I feel like I stole $5 bussing a table at work. I got the fear when I touched the money. I just pushed the money together and continued working till I checked my wallet in the bathroom and discovered $5 in my wallet.
I did think that I probably got the $5 from when I withdrew $20, spent $10 on it, and tipped $5.
Then, someone dumped s load of plates in my tub and I thought, "I'm glad I stole your tip" or along those lines.
I've panicked off and on all week about whether I did or didn't and the need to pay restitution as demanded by my religion, Catholicism.
I retraced my steps, panicked when the ATM wasn't giving fives like I remembered, and when asked, the very irritated barber said "you gave 10, just 10" which doesn't fit my memory, but her boss had called her up on her lunch break to ask.
I then began to think I took it from the server who dumped.shit in my tub. I recall it happening after my panic attack, but my feelings say otherwise.
I've concocted schemes about paying restitution secretly, but when hearing the whole story, the priest noted:
1. My uncertainty.
2. I don't know who I allegedly stole from.
3. Jesus cares what's in my heart, which I demonstrate to be good by tryyto do the right thing.
4. Give $5 to charity as restitution
5. Absolved me and said I needn't worry.
I felt immense peace for a half hour, then started worrying again, then I felt my anxiety come back, and I said in my head, "Lord, I did it" a bit later, and now I once again belief I did it and need to pay recompense.
Is this normal OCD behavior? I'm so scared I delude myself when I tell myself/God I didn't do it and replay my memories over and over.
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OCD
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My dream since I was a little girl is being a doctor but studying always seemed impossible. I was a really smart child but since i got older my ADD sypmtoms have worsened and I was diagnosed at seventeen (i’m now 18) i’ve been on medication ever since and it has helped my schoolwork massively! My other symptoms have gottwn better and i’m in a better headspace ever since. I think I’ll be applying for med school next year. So are there any doctors or medstudents in this subreddit who can share their experience?
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ADHD
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Just curious mostly.
But specifically
Negative YouTube:
this "autism family" video got recommended to me. It looked pretty quickly like it's bad. I don't like the channel description. Most videos call autistic kids "autism kids" for some reason. It claims it's educational, but it's a vlog that centers on children that can't consent to their personal stuff being shared like that. That's always abusive and concerning, let alone when you claim to be educating others about someone else's experiences, needs, and story. And several videos seem to be about documenting "meltdowns", brushing off criticism, and claiming autism is "being diluted" and he's got a "5 signs you aren't autistic" video (the one recommended actually)
I haven't seen any of the videos because the surface looks so bad. But i haven't really seen anything specifically calling them out (though their video titles seem to imply they've been accused of exploiting autism and probably had backlash to the meltdown ones).
So i was curious if anyone knows if they're better or worse than I'd imagine
Positive YouTube:
Yo sandy Sam seems good, but kinda entry level. She was recently diagnosed I think, so no criticism (even if she wasn't, the entry stuff being accessible is good.)
I was worried about the girl autism thing, but it was more just her experience and how autism is typically overlooked in afab childhood especially. Actually one of few that acknowledged that autistic people can be low in empathy. (I often feel demonized by autistic people claiming to represent vehemently declaring that it isn't true and actually it means more empathy. Kinda like when bi people throw shade at non monogamy and especially bisexual non monogamy. I get it's not *you*, but it's still *some* of us)
So yeah support her and others like her
I just was looking more for someone that talks about things like neurotypical supremacy's impact internet culture or something more in depth like that. ( Like how many internet based insults are just round about ways of insulting low social skills, having an intense interest especially in something niche, perceived discomfort or physical inability to "properly groom"being "detected" and judged on the regular [eg: neck beard] perceived dependency/inability to work outside the home, and even unorthodox thinking general being heavily mocked and shunned by many)
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aspergers
|
My psych doesn’t have any way to contact him over the weekends. I’ve been on Concerta 54 mg for a week now and while I had some appetite suppression at lower doses this is extreme. I’m not exaggerating, I cannot force myself to get more than 400 calories a day. I’m shedding weight like crazy in a bad way. I’m taking Zofran for nausea but it doesn’t help this at all. I constantly feel sick because I’m not eating and my guts HURT from starving. I’ve been trying to force down throughout the day saltines, eggos, occasional Graham cracker, and toast and it is such a struggle. I have a pre-existing medical condition where if I don’t eat enough I get violently sick and it can last days before I’m back to normal. And I take a lot of other meds that require food. I feel like I’m wasting away and just feel awful. Please please someone tell me what to do!
|
ADHD
|
I've been on Elvanse (UK name for Vyvanse) for nearly 6 months now and omg why didn't I switch to this sooner?! My only complaint is my sleep. I can usually get to sleep OK, but I tend to wake at 5am. Which sucks. And lack of sleep somewhat negates the beneficial effects of the meds. Even if I take melatonin or diazepam, I still wake up in the night and/or earlier in the morning. The last good nights sleep I had were after I'd drunk wine in the evenings but that doesn't always work either (I know part of it is related to my menstrual cycle, I sleep worse in the last 2 weeks).
I've always been a good sleeper as an adult, get to sleep easily, sleep for 8-9 hours, until going on meds. I got back to a decent sleep quality once I got settled on Concerta. But it's not working with Elvanse.
I don't take anything to help me sleep most nights, only when lack of sleep is having a cumulative negative effect after a while. And even then it only makes a marginal difference.
Cheers!
|
ADHD
|
My great uncle had trouble reading as a kid and she worked one on one with him to get him caught up so he wouldn’t be held back a grade. His son is autistic and she provided so much support while he was in school, helping him keep up. My sister didn’t learn to read until age 10 and great grandma was the only person who really worked with her. She was so good with kids who had learning difficulties. I wish she was still here.
|
aspergers
|
I had a civil deposition against my previous employer this week. Basically a manager there harassed and assaulted me and I've been suffering from ptsd since. It was absolutely terrifying having to tell lawyers what happened to me. Every detail was like pulling teeth. It took so much for me to admit what he did. I was so stressed that I nearly passed out. My lawyer tried to help me calm down but I ended up breaking down and crying. I was able to finish the deposition and it felt like I got a lot off my chest. I felt like I could breath again, but now I feel like I'm going through a ton of emotions. I feel annoyed, irritable, and on edge. I get pissed over the smallest things. Has anyone went through this. Just felt like sharing, it's been a rough week.
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ptsd
|
Today I tried charging my phone in the wall and the charging cord isn’t letting me charge my phone. I keep plugging the charging the cord in and out of the wall charging port and it keeps charging and uncharging with the charging sound going on and off. This is a charging cord that I’ve had for awhile and have been very careful with it. I also keeps having to plug and unplug the charging block and it keeps doing the same thing. I also tried an extra charging cord and block and it’s still having issues with charging. I had a meltdown with frustration and anxiety from the chargers not working. I also screamed and cried. I can’t stop thinking about the phone charger because I wish I wasn’t having any issues with it. I need my phone to charge so that I can text my friends and in case of an emergency I need my phone to work. I have also ordered new charger cords and bricks from Amazon and Target and I hope they work when they arrive. I hope the shipping is fast.
|
OCD
|
My psychiatrist is wildly unhelpful and I lost all trust in him. My new psychologist doesn’t have time until late January. I’m pretty sure they’re both on Christmas holidays now too.
I just feel really bad and I got the thought that maybe my dosage is wrong. The kind I take isn’t addicting, and you don’t need to up the dose cause your body gets used to it. I just got to try out 10mg a pill and felt a difference, so I figured it was the right amount.
I got up and felt fine, took the pill. I kept forgetting what I was gonna do, what time it was and I kept dropping _everything_ and kicking things over.
I accidentally kicked one of my empty cans over and ended up kicking them all cause I got so frustrated. My whole body was trembling and I was getting pissy. I closed my bedroom door which then sprung open, so I turned around and slammed it shut. At this point my mom was like “I’m gonna call you back” to whoever she was on the phone with for the past hour. This was even more infuriating cause then I had to actually talk to her about it. I’m not really allowed to be anything but happy.
So I just said “I feel so bad all the time” and slammed the front door after me. It’s not to punish her or anything. All she picked up on was “felt bad”. I’m 22, I feel so childish when I get like this. But idk what to do.
I’m on my way to work now with teary eyes and I can’t really think of anything else. I tried calling my dad but he said he’d call me later. I can already tell I won’t pick up out of spite cause I’m angry. I’m also going to work so I can’t.
Have you ever felt like this and it ended up just beyond your dose that was off? I have no one to ask for help or advice. Just got these pills stuck in my hand 3-4 weeks ago.
Edit: meds are Ritalin (methylphenidate)
|
ADHD
|
I live in pheonix Arizona and I always sit at the bar of random bars and pray someone will come interact with me. I’m an introvert but want people in my life, I have no family or friends but I’m so lonely. I just want to know if anyone related or want to hear of any of your guys loneliness stories please…. I’m at the bar and just need an excuse to look at my phone to looked like not a no life loser. I’m begging
|
depression
|
Everyday I struggle with finding the reason to live. I am only alive because I don’t want to be a burden to the people I love. But I no longer see a future and I can’t find anything to look forward to or be excited about
|
depression
|
One day I'm gonna kill myself. Like deadass I've had a gut feeling for years that it's gonna happen even when I don't feel suicidal. I tried to a while ago but unfortunately it didn't work. I have pretty much everything I could want in life but it's not helping and I still can never feel happy. I don't want to kill myself, but it's all I can think about sometimes. Fuckin sucks. I'm sorry for posting this, I'm just drunk and don't wanna bother anyone that I know.
|
depression
|
oddly enough i feel nothing right now. i can’t tell if this is good or not. i kind of like it i think. i don’t remember anything that happened this week. im kind of just numb and my days are going by fast. it feels nice to not feel sad for once? i wish i had more days like this. sucks that this probably won’t last much longer
|
depression
|
I'll start with mine:
-Sleepwear: Except on hot summer nights, I need to be fully covered with full-length pajamas under a duvet, otherwise I'll get cold and won't be able to fall asleep. I will never understand people sleeping in underwear or naked (!!) because it would be impossible for me.
The pajamas shouldn't be too loose or too short, the fabric needs to be quite fitting; many times I was thrilled to receive new pajamas and after two nights I realised the top was too cropped or the pants waist was too wide and I kept adjusting it during the night so I had to throw them away. Also, I can't stand the feeling of my skin against my own skin, for example my arm touching my leg.
-Environment: My bedroom needs to be completely in the dark, with no electronic lights on.
I need complete silence so I sleep with earbuds every night (I live on a busy street).
-People: I'm not able to fall asleep if someone is awake in the same room as me, looking at their phone, reading etc. Same if someone is awake in the room next to mine, because then I know that at some point they could make some noise and wake me up, so I'm not able to fall asleep peacefully.
Basically I need to know that nothing will potentially disturb me otherwise I can't be peaceful.
In my previous apartment, my neighbor would often throw parties and I would be in panick state because I wouldn't be able to sleep even with earbuds.
So, that's quite a lot of requirements indeed. I admire people who can just fall asleep in every conditions.
|
aspergers
|
I'm mostly on reddit cause I'm in Facebook jail for a month but without an hour that's over. Which one is more mental health friendly you think reddit or Facebook?
|
aspergers
|
My biggest fear are humans. I feel like I know way too much info about crimes, d33p stuffs, disturbing movies. I looked up for the iceberg of the grossest movies and now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m pretty sure I accidentally watched C P on Twitter. I’m just 15. I know researching about those stuffs will affect me more, but I can’t stop doing it. I keep thinking “What if r@.pe, m*rd€r, etc, aren’t bad things but society made us believe they are?”. I feel so different. I keep questioning my OCD, what if I’m a bad person and I’m just hiding it with OCD? My “intrusive thoughts” don’t even scare me anymore
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OCD
|
i know seeking reasurance isn't going to help me however I don't really know what ocd works like properly. I'm currently facing tocd and today the thoughts of me being a man felt real and like I wanted them, like they were the only escape to feel like myself again. However when I had these thoughts I was constantly crying and thought I have to kill myself now.
edit:also when i finally feel happy and a little bit like a woman I get a feeling telling me "you're trans you know it" or something sitting at the back of my head is this thing still ocd?
|
OCD
|
I am always trying my hardest. Like I brush my teeth, every time I remember that I have teeth. I have all the stuff at work too. I do all the laundry I can stand to do till I am exhausted. Everything I don't remember till last moment... well that's all I can do but at double time. I force myself to do things with the last shreds of my ability constantly... and yet I am called lazy. I am called the slacker. Fuck that I work balls out as hard as I possibly can just to be more or less mostly left behind. /endrant
edit: great replies everyone not looking for advice just venting, glad to see people venting right along with me
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ADHD
|
I went to my first OCD support group last night.
I kept putting it off because I was scared and didn't want to face the fact that I have OCD.
I feel so liberated right now!
|
OCD
|
I know I just posted a DAE but sometimes it's a little necessary to state things and have other people confirm that I'm not crazy.
I know I have ptsd, I've gone as far as seeing the weird "overlay images", where you see something out of the corner of your eye from a traumatic event that isn't really actually there. But (TW) my ex tried to kill me recently, and since then I've had a weird involuntary headshake when I think about certain things, I can't get certain thoughts and images out of my head, it's not a fun time. And the paranoia is unreal. Is this relatively normal? Last time it took a while, but the symptoms eventually passed. These symptoms are new and different but I'm hoping for the same thing to happen
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ptsd
|
I’m curious if it’s just me or if this relates to a lot of people with ADHD… do you have a “designated messy area”? I’m not a messy person, I keep a clean house and clean car but I have one area that is just mine and usually it’s complete chaos. It’s (hidden in) my nightstand drawers. Anything I don’t or can’t deal with I just throw in a drawer. Today I cleaned it out for the first time in almost a year. Not sure what made me do it today. I upped my med dosage so not sure if that played a part. I had a lot of emotional stuff in there, that I’ve been avoiding like paperwork from the hospital, sympathy cards, cremation paperwork, etc from when I lost my son back in April. It was hard but I did it and I love having that clean space again although I can never seem to maintain it long-term. My mom is a hoarder and I feel like my nightstand is my hoarding place but I make sure not to let it spill into the rest of my home, mostly because of my excessively tidy husband. I was definitely messier before we got married. Anyways, just curious if anyone else has something like this.
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ADHD
|
I've been depressed for 30 years. I have ptsd for childhood sex abuse and been in therapy and on meds since 1992. Nothing has ever felt better. I haven't felt good a day in my life. Now that I am in my mid life and never experienced this "better" or a will to live, at what point can I stop trying. I don't have any friends, but I have family that would be hurt if I was gone. At this point I am basically waiting for my mom to pass away before I go. Sadly she is only 18 years older then me and will probably be around for a long time.
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depression
|
I am absolutely the safest and happiest I have ever been in my life. I am loved, and free, and far away from my old life. But I'm having nightmares suddenly, after a long time of not having regular trauma-related nightmares.....
I just want to be left in peace. I thought it was finally Over, even the PTSD for the most part, that I could just Be Done with it all and move forward...... but these nightmares have me in thought spirals even while awake, and my work/hobbies have suffered. It's hard. I don't know
A part of me, I think, will never be able to accept that the people who hurt and manipulated me all those years will always have a different 'story' or what happened. And will spend the rest of their lives telling people whatever they decide to believe that day, that I was just crazy, that I randomly turned on them, that I 'betrayed' them, that I never did this, never did that, intended to do this, intended to do that......
I spent half a decade explaining myself, defending myself, defending Them, talking things out, trying to resolve things, trying to get through, hurting myself and sacrificing my own needs for their sake over and over....... and constantly, endlessless, combatting lies and manipulation, lies upon lies upon lies, defending and explaining and explaining and defending......... to no avail. And to no end. There was no end. And there will never be an end.
They will spend the rest of their lives utterly convinced of whatever fantasy theyve conjured up of me, and of what happened, where they never have to confront or own up to what they did to me, ever. I know this. I know it's futile to try and fight it, that's why I finally escaped. I know. But it still haunts me. The urge to say "no, thats NOT what happened, I never did that, you never said that, that's not what happened!!!" is powerful and being unable to say anything or stop it is so, so painful.
I'm so fucking tired of defending my reality. But i cant let it go. It haunts me. I wish I could just move on
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ptsd
|
Starting medication has changed my life, but every month I have some sort of difficulty getting my prescription filled. This month, my insurance had two separate pre-approvals it required for me to get my medication, and I was told I was refilling my prescription too early (even though I've been out of my meds for two weeks now) *and* my pharmacy hasn't had it in stock for over a week. Does anyone know how to make this process go more smoothly?
|
ADHD
|
I’m not sure if this is ocd so please let me know. Whenever I leave the house or walk in public I always tap my pockets to make sure I haven’t lost anything. I got a tracker for my wallet and keys but that hasn’t helped. Anyone else experience this or have anyways of coping? I also adjust things so they are square and can’t touch certain things.
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OCD
|
Hello. I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's at 34 years old. I still don't know much, and I am reading a lot. Apparently, most my behaviours that I thought unique to me stem from my condition. Funny. I never considered myself a normie (for an Aspie anyways 😅)
I couldn't find info on one matter and I am wondering. This behaviour exists in childhood too. If a person does something intentionally wrong or hurts me unintentionally and won't bother with fixing the situation, he/she loses my trust completely. I tell "sorry, but you are harmful to me. Please keep your distance and don't talk to me" and never talk or look to this person. Is this behaviour a result of Asperger's syndrome?
Addition: this happens to close friends too. No matter how much they try after the breakpoint, I just ignore.
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aspergers
|
How do you help yourself when your mind seems to be taking over? I’m spiraling and it’s scary.
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depression
|
Do you sometimes try to imagine the one thing you're trying to avoid, no matter how messed up the thoughts get, just to see if you like it or you're actually into that stuff? Just to get a reaction, like a groinal response. But when you do it, you only end up feeling worse, and possibly further cementing the ugly truth that maybe you are a monster?
Am I intentionally doing it to fantasize about it?
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OCD
|
We don't argue all the time, we've been together almost 10 years though. Anytime he brings something up from the past or asks me to explain what I meant when I said something months ago, I can't. I can guess what I meant but that doesn't usually go well because I've lost all context. He thinks it's bizarre and then the lack of memory turns into another issue like I don't care or I'm malicious. I literally just don't know. I want to know. I can't fucking recall.
What's worse is when I'm accused of saying something that goes against my character and then when I deny it because I know it's not something I would say and absolutely is a mix up on someone else's behalf, it still falls on me because I'm the one with the faulty memory. This extends outside my relationship. In my work place, happened growing up, I doubt myself constantly. This shit is awful sometimes and I wish I knew how to recall things better but there is just a void.
People look at you like you're dumb or not empathetic but knowing how untrue both those things are just hurts when you start to fixate.
|
ADHD
|
So I take Sertraline and it works but I specifically got it just to keep off the worst of it. Basically I made it so the hole that I get stuck in is only 10 feet deep and not 30 feet deep.
So I guess what I'm looking for is how do I keep up the motivation to get out of the hole? It's been a struggle for the past few days. Unless if I keep my body occupied completely I stay feeling so out of it.
I don't think what I have is clinical depression but it reflects the symptoms. I'm sure that if I was to change my way of life things will improve but thx to the holidays, other than retail, my career is taking its sweet time to tell me if I got the job or not.
|
depression
|
Hi I am seeking an affordable psychiatrist located anywhere between that I can visit and transfer a current prescription to. I am a Kaiser patient but my primary care physician won't prescribe me my meds anymore if I have THC in my system. I am willing to pay for my meds and doc out of pocket to avoid Kaiser doctor's draconian view on cannabis use. Any help would be appreciated! I am also open to using an online service like Ahead but from what I've seen it can be quite pricy.
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ADHD
|
Hi :) I’ve never posted on reddit before so please be nice :’) I just had my follow up appointment with my psychiatrist today to discuss my ADHD medication. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and BED, and I’m currently taking 40mg of Vyvanse and have been for two months. My concern with my psychiatrist was that for me the vyvanse doesn’t last as long as I need it to. For instance, I take it around 9:30/10 AM for my college classes in the morning and to get me through my work day, I usually work until 5:30/5:40. Usually by the time 5:30 comes around I feel like a dead slug and have no motivation/energy/concentration to do any school work or cook/clean when I get home. Also the urge to binge heavily increases once the Vyvanse has worn off, compared to me having more impulse control during the day.
The solution to this given by my psychiatrist was to prescribe me 10mg of Adderall XR to take along with my 40mg of Vyvanse. She explained that I could play around with the times that I take them in hopes that they would last past 5:30. I found this to be different than what I usually read on Reddit about how people will usually get an Adderall IR booster with their Vyvanse, but I got an XR.
I’ve tried to find posts of people with a similar experience, but I couldn’t really find much. Has anyone combined these two medications like this before? If so, do you take the Adderall XR before the Vyvanse or after? Does the Adderall help lengthen the Vyvanse? Does Adderall help with BED as much as Vyvanse does? How do you feel when taking them together since they’re both extended release?
Sorry for the lengthy post, any input would be helpful :)
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ADHD
|
I got out of an abusive relationship five years ago. I would understand that some things will still affect me. However, we tested the alarms at work today and i had a panic attack. I thought something like loud noises would be something i would be over by now. I never really had a good therapist and don’t currently have one, so maybe thats part of it, but still...
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ptsd
|
does anyone here workout/exercise? and do you think it helps with overall OCD symptoms?
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OCD
|
I have Chronic PTSD from life long trauma in my childhood, a severely broken family, and adulthood trauma.
One of the biggest issues with my condition is trust with women.
The two major women in my life, my mother and grandmother have given me good reasons not to trust them, and by them being the main women and the toxic women I've had in my life, it screwed my trust for women... My mother was narcissist, drug addict, and a whore and my grandma was a religious narcissist control freak...
One reminder from a woman I'm with and it triggers me and my trust for them is all screwed up...
For instance, I'm 32 the woman I'm with is 23. She is still full of energy and likes to get out and socialize, while I on the other hand do not. Her mother reminds me of my mother and has shown me things to make me believe that, so I don't trust her with her mother. I don't trust her around her friends either... These people do not like me and tell her she can do better and to leave me alone. Due to a broken family past, I'm not a family oriented person, and do not see the importance of family gathering or any of that, and my trust issues go through the roof when she does this family function bs...
I'm old school and believe my relationship should be based on old school morals, rather than this confusing and destructive moral set we see today... I believe in old school teamwork and stability, the man should provide and protect while the woman cooks and cleans... I believe the only family we need to focus on is ours and building it... Instead, she is interested in drinking, slumber parties, and get togethers with these women who not only do not like me, but also women that I do not trust and as far as I'm concerned and learned, birds of a feather flock together...
Her on the other hand, does not have a clue what that means and fights, argues, plays victim, and gives me a guilt trip when I try to get her on board with this... She says I'm controlling, but when we first met, I told her bluntly about my condition, symptoms, and where it all comes from... I figured we had that understanding and she would support me... However, just like a lot of women I tell this too, at first it was all support, but in the end I'm a monster or controlling...
Recently, my relationships go for 1-2 years before im fed up with repeating myself, my concerns, my issues, and reminding my condition is chronic and the only way to better it is from real support. I feel like I'm constantly punching myself in the face and giving myself triggering flashbacks when I do that...It's like you tell someone you have PTSD, and now they think your stupid...
Maybe I am controlling... If I am its for the right reason as far as Im concerned...I don't ask her to do anything illegal or immoral...
This relationship has been going on 1 year and 6 months just like this, and I'm ready to call it quits and just focus on bettering myself to be better for someone else in the future...
But when I try to move on, she either uses suicide or pregnancy as a way to stay in the picture...and honestly the girl needs help and guidance and I try to give her that, but after 1 year and 6 months of trying, constantly repeating myself, and fighting over it, I'm tired of trying to help someone who can't help themselves or don't want the help...especially while I'm struggling trying to help myself to better health...
I told her she is contributing to my PTSD and thats the opposite of what I'm looking for from anybody at this point in my life...
|
ptsd
|
I am lonely and so many of my friends are suggesting me to get a pet since I cuddled with their puppies, cats and hedgehog whenever I came to see them. Its also possible now as I'm living on my own and for the first time I'm staying in a building that allows pet. However with my ADHD I'm a little concerned on which animal to have. I'd love a puppy but I never actually raised and took care of one before (my parents took care of our family dog). I'm also scared I might neglect them or not doing a good job with a puppy since it sounds like a lot of work. I used to have a cat with my ex and I love cats too. How about other pets such as hedgehog or bunny? If you have experience having a pet (as in take care for them well) while having ADHD, please let me know. I've been thinking about it for a long time but also afraid that my executive dysfunction might get in the way and make it too overwhelming. Thank you so much.
|
ADHD
|
I wonder if anyone else does this and wanting too share what and why they bought it.
I have this problem and I often use way too much money on things I don't need but I often see things that are very astatically pleasing to me, so I buy it. Anyone else just buy things because you like the look or want to know what something feel like?
​
My recent, bought a bottle opener shaped like a squid/ the Kraken but I never open bottles! I love the feel of it and to fidget with it, no idea why but it just looked interesting and I got this feeling that I *needed* it.
|
aspergers
|
This is an odd one, but for me time just goes. I tried to figure out how I spent my time today, and looking at activity trackers, YouTube history, Steam time, and other metrics, I cannot seem to get anywhere near the time I’ve been up for. Time just disappears and it’s honestly such a worrying thing as a week will go by and it will only feel like a few days. Years go by and to me I feel like I’m missing most of it. I have a lot of time on my hand so maybe my brain doesn’t appreciate it as much, or this might just be another autism thing. It genuinely worries me as I care a lot about my life and to see it just go by in a flash is worrying.
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aspergers
|
Hi. Taking online businesses management classes for a business degree through University of the People.
The aspect of not having a to meet weekly, and having consistency with when assignments are due is very nice.
Thing is... Just. There is only a week to get it all done. Read, do discussion board posts, sometimes written assignments. Just. So much. And I've been really pushing at myself and trying to keep up with the work, but it's just so draining. In a constant battle of deciding whether to just do the work to have it for sure done on time, or taking the time to actually ready and understand what I'm reading.
Because I can definitely fake it if I wanted to. That's how I survived high school with good grades, I know how to memorize the info I need to get me through the class itself. But as far as actually learning got and applying it? Well, for this business program , I don't think I am actually learning as I'd like to be.
I just keep falling behind , even though I am seriously taking a lot of time to work on it and get when I need to get done finished. But I just can't keep up and it just affects me. If this program gave us 2 weeks instead of 1, I'd do I much better ..
I think I'm done ranting. Feedback work be nice. Support . Idk what to do because I want to really do this just to have that accomplishment. But I am worried even if I do make it to the end, will I really feel accomplished or will I feel I spoiled it because I know I don't really have a clue about a lot of the info I learned because I just memories about them, and didn't take the time to learn them.
Stuff is due on Wednesday and just feeling overwhelmed some . Because I know I can't finish my reading and get all my assignments done.
Wish school was more ADHD friendly. That I had a program catered to the time I need to actually learn it .
|
ADHD
|
This past week, I have been recent,y diagnosed with OCD and it was pretty hard to cope with. I just started taking antidepressants and antipsychotics as well. Was wondering if I could have some advice when it comes to my journey to recovery.
|
OCD
|
Should I write it down? I don’t think so. This is a very important task, with pretty severe consequences if I don’t get it done. Not only that, but once I make it a priority, it will take a significant amount of time and effort to accomplish. So with this being said, I don’t think I need to write this down. I’d be extremely surprised if I forgot something this important. So yeah, without a doubt, this is something I’ll remember.
It was indeed something I do not remember.
|
ADHD
|
Saw my primary care doctor about possible undiag used ADHD. I'm 30, was identified as gifted in school which masked a lot of these issues as a kid, but have struggled with organization and executive function for as long as I can remember. My doctor agreed it was worth looking into, prescribed me straterra to try while I wait on a diagnosis, and gave me a referral to get evaluated by a psychiatrist.
Referral 1- call, voice mail says they arent seeing patients at all right now, never call me back.
Tell primary care doctor. Get a second referral.
Referral 2- call, leave message. Call leave message. Call leave message. Finally get a call back- psychologist "isnt comfortable" doing evaluations for people who arent looking to become therapy patients/ are talking to their doctor about medication. Also they dont take my insurance.
Tell primary care doctor. Get a third referral.
Referral 3- they say they do evaluations AND take my insurance! Can get me in 2 weeks. Incredible. I am very clear that all I'm wanting is an evaluation, they say no problem. Appointment is this monday. Get a reminder email from the office on Thursday- I ask if I need to do anything extra to be able to do the evaluation while I'm there, any forms to fill out in advance, etc. They say no. I'm good to go.
Yesterday, doctor emails me- he's out of the office Monday. Can we do the appointment as a video call. Can you do adhd evaluations as a video call? If so, that's fine. OH, he tells me, he doesnt DO evaluations. Just therapy for people who already have a diagnosis. Does anyone at your office fo adhd evaluations? No. Does anyone in your organization in the entire city do adhd evaluations? NO?
..... why. Am I getting referrals to doctors that dont or wont do the *one thing* that I need them to do?
🙃🙃🙃 this shouldnt be this difficult.
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ADHD
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Hello all! I am 14 and have been diagnosed with combination type ADHD, depression, OCD, general anxiety, and social anxiety. I have extreme issues with doing literally anything, especially studying. I've tried all the study tools in the world yet nothing helps. My therapist's only idea is to do exposure therapy which seems to be her solution to practically all my issues, yet it is too draining for me. Does anyone have some advice on how to deal with this? I am already on meds (60mg of duloxetine and 2 of abilify) and am looking for a new therapist.
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OCD
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idk if this will help anyone else and it might be really obvious but i find that watching childhood tv shows as a distraction really helps me to be less anxious and is just quite comforting in times when i’m in constant thought mode. Currently watching hetty feather lol
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OCD
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I was diagnosed 2 years ago and did therapy before and after my diagnosis. I have healed significantly thanks to therapy and my own commitment. Where are you guys? What’s helped? Are you hopeful?
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ptsd
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So, I'm rather new to this subreddit.
With that said, does anyone else have OCD regarding home safety? I always had a bit of OCD (checking doors numerous times, being overly concerned about stoves being on... also a weird obsession with notebooks not being able to be used anymore if I made so much as one mistake) but as of late, I've had it more regarding stuff like thinking that there is things wrong with my house that will cause collapse or some other catastrophe. I spent twenty minutes just tonight trying to determine if the ceiling was sagging in one spot (which it actually is, weirdly enough) and every day it seems I find something new in the house to obsess over.
It's really, really badly interfering with living my life and I feel like it also sort of interferes with me being a present husband and father because while I should be and want to be more present for them, my head doesn't allow me to get past the illogical fears. My wife was able to convince me to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist, but it isn't until December and seriously, this feeling is absolute agony. It's like my brain won't shut up no matter how hard I try.
Sorry for the long novel, but I'm really out of ideas on how to manage this until I can see a doctor and hopefully start to work this out and get past it. If anyone has any advice or anything they can offer, I'm all ears. Thank you for listening.
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OCD
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Hi.
I just got diagnosed with ADD and i am 25 and I got prescribed concerta 18 mg that i will start to take tomorrow.
the thing is that I am sort of worried that after my diagnosis i am still the same. useless and unproductive.
before my diagnosis when i watch like youtube and i see some youtuber randomly state that they have add I wonder how they got so much done? like how? like i saw the tiktok girl dixi saying that she talked nonstop and nonsense in her interview because of her adhd and got me thinking how you achieved while having it? it got me thinking that i might be the same just more quiet after taking the meds.
it’s like there are people that adhd is like iron deficient or something not a disorder or there are people that have adhd and it’s like a personality trait really affects every inch of your life.
the other thing is the medication a life long meds or not?
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ADHD
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(There is a TLDR at the bottom of this post.) Hi all! I’m 24 and have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 15. I stopped taking my prescribed 20mg XR adderall around the age of 17. I am now on 30 mg XR as of October of this year.
Here’s my dilemma: I started seeing a mental health nurse practioner (NP) back in August of this year. I told her that I want to focus on my ADHD diagnosis and she said, “I need to see that you were diagnosed with ADHD”. I had to find my old psychiatrist and ask their office to send my paper work to my current NP. Before I was able to be treated for ADHD, my NP diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder (BD) Hypomania. Between the months of August to October, I was not on any ADHD medication. I was only being treated for my BD and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I take Seroquel and Hydroxyzine. Fast forward to October, my NP finally received my paper work that stated my official diagnosis of ADHD.
She initially prescribed 10 mg XR of Adderall, I later messaged her and asked to increase my dosage. I found that 30 mg XR is perfect. For some odd reason, she only prescribed me a quantity of seven 30 mg XR. After I ran out, I started to become more hyperactive, less focus on my work, more anxious, and my execution function decreased A LOT (I’m still taking Seroquel and Hydroxyzine). I find that Adderall grounds me.
5 days after of not having/taking my Adderall, I felt compelled to plan a trip and it cost me a little over $3,300. I told my NP of my plans (I bought everything on the same day of my appointment). My NP said that I might be experiencing a manic episode. She later then suggested, “maybe it’s because you’re bored?” I replied with, “I can’t differentiate whether it’s because I’m bored or if it’s because of my possible hypomania/mania episode”.
After we discussed that I may be experiencing a manic episode, she prescribed more Seroquel. I asked if she will refill my ADHD medication and she said, “let’s wait until next week and see if this episode rolls over” (not entirely verbatim but very similar to that). I said okay and I tried telling her that I may be experiencing this “ manic episode” because I haven’t had Adderall in 5 days. Idk I feel like she thinks I’m under the influence and I promise, I’m not 😭.
Is there any psychiatry/psychology literature on whether untreated ADHD can manifest or be mistaken for bipolar disorder?
To add: I love to travel! I’ve traveled to many countries before this.
If y’all need anymore information or I should put this in a different subreddit, let me know! This is my first post.
TLDR; I haven’t had my prescription of Adderall in 5 days which have pushed me to purchase a $3,300 trip, and now my nurse practioner thinks I am experiencing a manic episode. She won’t prescribe me Adderall right now because she wants this “manic episode” to die down. Is there any psychiatry/psychology literature on whether untreated ADHD can manifest or be mistaken for bipolar disorder?
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ADHD
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