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Why do people keep pretending to care... saying they will always be there but then disspear next weak, or saying they want to understand but never trully try to... Makes us even more fucked then we are, when people keep appearing in our life giving us the smallest glimpse at some sort of exit from the hell hole we have dug ourselves into.. only to then disspear just as sudden as they've appeared.
Had this one good friend i've meet and we kinda started something telling me that She's sorry that she had to throw a saving rope in that pit hole... because she didn't save me, she just gave me the rope, let me climb a bit and then threw a piano on my head.. in her own words. Why do people keep doing that?
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depression
|
One of my biggest things with OCD is my health,I’ve had chest pains and other random ish for long since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so it really took a toll on my perception of my health
All the bullshit surrounding the vaccine got me fucked up because of this though, I know its elderly people wanting to feel oppressed so they have a cause to fight for smth, but god damn are they good at triggering me lmao
But aye, even with all that ish abt blood clots, a wham trigger for me, and everything else, I got my vaccine booked at 9:15pm
I’m gonna hang out with some mates tonight as a distraction, and then take it as it come
Idk lmao I’m jus proud of myself
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OCD
|
So this habit starts when I was in high school, I don't listen to what my teacher says in lesson and rather doing my own stuff. I read the materials during the lesson or in other time. It works pretty well for me, that I can finish the stuff the teacher would taught in half or even less time in the lesson. For the remaining time, I am quite productive that I work faster than at home for doing my assignment.
With no surprise, when I get into university, I still attend the lectures via Zoom, but I don't listen to my professors. When I mentioned this to my parents, they are really angry and accused me for not being serious about my studies. I have talked to my psychiatrist and counselor about this and both of them don't think it's a problem.
This term, I want a fresh start and try to pay attention to the lesson. It still kinda works out at first, but only for a few weeks. Later, I start to be late almost for every lesson, and thus I don't understand what the professor is saying, so I give up and do my own stuff every time. So I find myself in a pattern that if I understand what the prof says, I get bored and start doing other work; if I don't understand, I feel frustrated and end up doing other work.
Now, I kind of feel that I am wasting my time on traffic to school when I am basically gonna be late and also won't listen to the lesson. It is obvious that punctuality is an issue. What about not paying attention in lesson? Is it better for me just to skip the lesson? (though my parents really hates me skipping my lessons)
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ADHD
|
Hello! I‘m fairly new to this sub, so apologies if this has been posted before!
I‘m pretty sure I have ADHD, but because I am from a small town, there are no suitable therapists available. I was wondering for the ones of you who are lucky enough to have a therapist/psychiatrist what insights they gave you that helped you a lot or any tips on how to improve the ADHD symptoms.
Right now I m in university but have trouble with the coursework and am already failing one course… I have difficulties with concentration, motivation, consistency and emotional regulation. However, any help would be appreciated!
(Basically people with ADHD sharing their therapist based knowledge on how to handle ADHD for the ones of us who dont have outside help)
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ADHD
|
As the title says, I want to get tested for PTSD when I go first see my new psychiatrist in September. How do I get them to test me? How do I bring it up in the first place? Any tips? Any help is appreciated :).
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ptsd
|
I do it so much to the point where I spend hours on it. When I try to clear my mind it feels like I’m still trying to ruminate subconsciously. Any tips to work through this or help myself work on it?
|
OCD
|
Hello! What have you guys found that helps you work out consistently? I feel amazing when I move my body but I haven’t been able to do anything that works consistently. I do best when I work out in the morning. I have a routine that I can do right at home and it makes my body feel good. Doing workouts with someone else is helpful. Is there a an online app or other way to find an accountability buddy that could check in with me virtually, and do early morning my time (I don’t have one irl that could support that schedule)? Thanks!
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ADHD
|
What is your opinion on weed consumption to regulate your mood and relax when you are depressed?
|
depression
|
Note: I don't know if I had ptsd but I experienced a lot of the same symptoms and I did exposure therapy to help me heal
​
So in 2020 I almost lost my best friend to suicide and while I didn't know if he was alive or dead, I was playing a sport game. Now after a lot of therapy, I have been doing a lot better but recently I've been playing a sport in a high stress environment and I still feel physical symptoms that I experienced during the game I thought my best friend was dead despite my head recognizing that the traumatic event is a memory and I'm not reliving it.
Now when I play, I feel like my body is freaking out for no reason and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I've had trouble breathing and I tense up a lot for no reason. I've been playing terribly and I can't focus on solely the game while playing.
I was wondering if there was a temporary way to stop the physical symptoms for a practice or game. I find that coffee has helped and I'm going to try cbd drops.
|
ptsd
|
I’ve started feeling more and more alienated on Reddit. I’ll spend time writing out a post only for it to be instantly erased because I’m clearly permanently disrupting the community. A reason suddenly materializes, it feels like.
-not enough karma
-no user flair (when you don’t even know you need one or how to get one)
-violating some community guidelines, which is some novel length page separate from the rules
And I’m not even trying to break the rules, I’m just trying to have a normal, organic discussion with like minded people. I feel embarrassed because it feels like people are targeting me or that nobody likes me.
Like, I just want to jump in but communities feel overpoliced.
Although I’ve never really took it out on anyone, I wish I didn’t react this way.
|
ADHD
|
14 years ago I watched a documentary about tinnitus and got scared so much that in the next weeks I was checking all day long my ears and guess what? I listened some background noise !!! I was convinced I had tinnitus. I was depressed and had to go to physiatrist. I took meds and because I had a huge also family support I managed to stop obsessing and stop fear of having tinnitus. and For the next 14 years I was an Happy father and husband. Unfortunately 3 months ago I noticed a real tinnitus sound in my left ear when I pressed the tragus. Disaster. My old obsession come back and this time worse. Now it is easier to search through internet so I read all horror stories . Tried to get again meds but this time I read that antidepressants can cause tinnitus so after 2 weeks I stopped as I started to hear that background noise and now after 2 months is all I can hear. I constantly focus to my ears. And I believe that after sometime the brain follow your fears and create new sounds. It is a complicated mechanism of course but stress and fear for sure make things far more worse. I am not sure if I hear real tinnitus if from my fear and obsession I have created those noises. Does any body had such an experience?
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OCD
|
My recent therapist is leaving the practice I attend, and they have zero openings left. My only options are pay out of pocket to follow my therapist to her private practice or do online/apps. Has anyone used the apps (ie. BetterHelp, etc)?
|
OCD
|
Hello
After working from home for almost a year, I'm back at the office. In adition to Asperger's syndrome (diagnosed), I nearly meet the criteria for ADHD and I'm terrible at remembering names and recognizing faces. People I've only spoken to on camera seem to recognize me, but I don't always recognize them (I pretend that I do if they say hi or start talking to me). Also, although I manage to work efficiently, I find it distracting when people are talking in the background. I managed to work for years in an office prior to Covid-19, but I've forgotten how to cope with background chatter.
Does anyone have any tips on how to ease the transition back to normal a little bit? 🙂
|
aspergers
|
Well, a while ago I quit my first, and tolerably intolerable job at Taco Bell.
I really didn't mind it as long as I wasn't on drive thru. I hated the headset, I hated the rude customers, I hated that there was often no gaps in-between orders to slip a thought in.
I didn't have too much trouble with my coworkers, they said I was the "good kind of weird". But eventually, the old coworkers I liked slowly got replaced and I quit in hopes of being a stocker, I figured that'd be the best job that I could have now.
I wasn't able to find a stocking job, and even though I insisted I wouldn't work in a fast food environment again, I decided Wendy's wasn't too bad, because my friend who was working there was working there.
So I decided to apply, and I got an interview down and everything a few months later, but the week of my interview, my friend quit, but I didn't care because I wanted a job anyways. Nothing was gonna stand in my way!
Young and naive, I went for my "interview" last week. Maw the boss who I met forgot she scheduled me for an interview and hired me immediately.
I was pretty excited and glad I didn't have to talk about myself.
So I was told to fill out my tax forms online, and call the store when I was done.
So I did that and whoever answered the phone wasn't really sure, and told me Kak the boss would call me back.
I waited a few days and texted Maw the boss, wondering how it was going, but she told me she quit! Nice meeting you, I said.
Well, then I got a call finally from Kak the boss, asking if I was still interested. Yes! I was still interested! He asked me my availability again, and I gave it to him, starting in the morning, not too many days. I didn't want to get overwhelmed too fast, I'm trying to take better care of myself.
He said He'd call back again.
I waited.
Probably a day later, I got a call back from the voice I've figured must be the coworker Car (I've met them now and know that was their voice) asking me if I wanted to be working soon, what days, and I said I don't want to work too much too fast.
"3 days a week ?"
I said that was fine, but I was actually hoping for just two, but I didn't want to argue.
Then Car asked what times and I said starting at 9am, and Car told me it would be 9am - 4pm. I said that's fine. It wasn't fine, but I guess I was just gonna deal with it. What doesn't kill you!
Kak the boss called me again too and I told him the same availability, and he told me Wednesday 9am-4pm, be there or be square. I was NOT gonna be square, I pride myself on reliability.
I was already pretty worked up about starting, hoping I wasn't gonna get super overwhelmed and have a meltdown or faint. Lightly expressing my concerns to some of my friends, they told me everything was gonna be fine, and it wasn't gonna be as bad as I assumed it was going to be. It's just fast food, after all. I became a capable professional over the course of working at Taco Bell.
Wednesday morning, I was nervous and excited. Ready for money and training, and a new routine of walking down one of my favorite streets in the morning.
(This morning as of writing)
It was rainy and I had my umbrella, I was walking around my favorite trees, almost to Wendy's.
I got a phone call, Car's voice, asking me if I was still coming in and I said, yes!!! I'm walking as we speak!! Car stated they would see me soon.
So I show up, and three of the working employees told me to go on back, I felt like an intruder.
Car saw me and said to go sit in the office, so I did, and I started playing with my bracelet, reading everything on the walls, waiting for Car to come and tell me what to read to familiarize myself with the Wendy's brand.
Car was just a 21 year old manager, not the boss or anything, I dont think they knew what to do with me yet. We talked a little bit, but they were mostly just doing their job and whatnot.
I asked what I could do a few times, because I felt dumb and useless, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing.
Car asked me if I knew how to take orders, and I said I did before at Taco Bell, but I didn't know how anything worked at Wendy's. So I was given a headset and told to take orders.
This is where it gets really bad;
Nothing was familiar to me, the drink machine was not the same kind as Taco Bell, they didn't sell the same drinks, I didn't know if we had what the customers were asking for. I didn't know how to make the special drinks.
The order screen was not the same, I didn't know the menu, I didn't know how the payment methods worked.
I made a mistake with a man's change, and put in the wrong amount, and I asked Car what to do, and they weren't very helpful, and seemed annoyed with me.
I was ordering people the wrong food and giving them the wrong drinks, some people seemed really mad, and some people seemed really confused and concerned.
I was getting extremely upset, and didn't know what was going on the entire time; No one was helping me or giving me any clarification.
About 40 minutes into this, someone I go to school with came through and was immediately clear to the situation and was appalled, but there was nothing they could do, but I didn't want the coworkers to hear, because I was afraid of being rude.
The whole time I just kept going, because I thought it was all on me, and simply wasn't aware. I didn't want to be rude.
Eventually, I wasn't breathing right, my hands felt out of control, and my eyelids were moving on their own.
No one was even making the orders I was able to put through.
I abandoned the drive thru and found Car, and told them I felt unwell and had to sit down, and someone else should take over.
At one point during this, one of the coworkers assured me someone would clock in soon to help me.
I went back into the office and started questioning my reaction and why I felt that way, I couldn't help but shake a bit and rock, and bury my head in my sleeves.
Kak the boss came in at 2pm instead of 4pm.
He saw me and was surprised I showed up for some reason.
He asked if I was okay because he didn't think so.
Kak looked at some of my papers, and that was all he needed to do and said I could leave, it was only 2pm !!?!
So before I left, I timidly asked about Friday, the next day I was to come in, 9-4.
He said he will call me before Friday to let me know if I am coming in.
I left and it was pouring rain, I figured it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask my dad for a ride.
Something was really wrong though, I kept groaning and making unhappy noises, so I walked to the Marc's right nearby Wendy's and sat out of the way of the rain by the pumpkin display (i love Halloween!!).
I sat down and couldn't help but start intensely rocking, and I felt more relaxed around all the old people shoppers and the storm, I didn't figure anyone would pay any mind to my meltdown.
I was being little out of control, but kept to myself, not causing problems or anything, just a bit of a sight.
I wasn't sure if anything I was feeling was justified or if I was overreacting, I wasn't sure if the Wendy's issues were actually issues, or if I was being a baby.
I called my grandma for perspective , still making funny sounds, and not making any sense.
She was horrified !!! She told me I should not go back, and got a hold of my dad to come pick me up, he didn't answer the first few times.
But eventually, everyone agreed it was not good.
I'm still mad at myself for having a meltdown by the pumpkins outside of Marc's, but I didn't feel half as much judgement from the shopping cart people, as I did within the Hour and Ten Minutes of the drive thru fiasco.
TL;DR: First day at work goes horribly unexpectedly wrong.
Fast food is a burden to society, low wage jobs need a revamp.
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aspergers
|
I'd loved to get diagnosed but I'm so intimidated by it I don't know where to start. I feel doctor will judge me and ignore me, or ask me for too much paper work, or just think I am an impostor. Can anyone share their experience through the process from thinking of getting diagnosed to when It actually happened? What do they do to test you? Sometimes I just wish I had the access to the right medication to help me get through life. Thanks so much!
|
ADHD
|
Have you ever seen the movie Poltergeist?
You know when there is just all kinds of crazy shit going on all around them, and there’s like a huge rain storm, and then Craig T. Nelson realizes his house was built on graves, and corpses are popping up in the pit where they’re putting in a pool, and there’s like disturbed spirits and that little lady with the weird voice shouting, and the kids are screaming, and it’s just total chaos?
It’s like that inside me. Times a million.
And it never really goes away.
Like, the movie gets paused sometimes. But then any little thing happens and it’s right back to that part.
It’s actually a pretty good metaphor. They moved the headstones, but the bodies are still buried there. And then, when something happened to disturb them....
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ptsd
|
No amount of vegetables and vitamins will magically cure OCD or other anxiety disorders. However, I do strongly believe doctors when they say that taking care of your body will help you in dealing with your mental health. I have experienced this personally: my obsessions pop out more frequently and more strongly when I am hungry or did not sleep enough. At those times I am also less strong, less able to calm myself down and resist compulsions.
And that is why I thought it would be good to write this post... as a sort of a reminder for myself and for anybody else who might care:
* Eat (healthy foods). First of all, don't forget to eat, don't skip a meal! People often do this because of outside factors such as a demanding and stressful job. Think ahead and prepare yourself foods that you can cram into your mouth on the go, if you don't have time to sit down. We all need the fuel to function. Second of all, try to eat healthier. If you are unsure about how to do this, take time to research foods a bit. There are numerous subreddits dedicated to how to do this on a budget. Start small, introduce 1-2 new healthier meals a week, it will amount to a bigger change over time.
* Drink water. Again, it will not cure anything, but, you will feel stronger and less foggy in your head. Count how many glasses a day you are drinking, it might be less than you think.
* Avoid alcohol and coffee. Seriously. Just pay attention to how you feel a few hours after drinking alcohol and the day after, and you will see for yourself that it is making you worse. Coffee may also be your enemy, depending on how often you have it. Try reducing it and see what happens. You may be tempted to trade its negative effect on your mental state for its effect on your work productivity. Try to resist this temptation!
* Sleep. You CAN improve how much you sleep, despite the anxiety. There are so many guides and tips online, do some research and find what helps you. For me personally it was getting a sleeping mask and listening to wind downs and sleepcasts on the Headspace mobile app. Also, no coffee after 2pm!
* Exercise. Science has proved again and again how good it is for us. Just do it. Right now, do as many jumping jacks as you can, until it hurts! Long term, if you are struggling with making it a habbit, try and find a buddy, keep each other accountable.
* Nature and sunlight. If you can at all, even just a short walk in a city park will do you much more good than binging another episode, trying to distract yourself.
Hopefully some of this brings you a tiny, tiny bit closer to regaining control and leading a happier life.
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OCD
|
To preface this, I was raised without religion and I continue to be an agnostic atheist to this day. I wouldn't consider myself a "hardcore atheist" because I don't think I'm capable of knowing if there is a God, but I have yet to be convinced of the validity of any religious claims. I was also diagnosed with OCD at 12 years old and I'm in my 20's now.
A couple years ago I had a period of a few months where I was completely consumed by the fear of going to hell. Now it seems like it's back.
There are just so many different religions in the world and they can't all be true, and there are very intelligent religious scholars of various faiths and denominations who have contradicting claims on life after death. I go down these rabbit holes of reading Christian articles online about how I need to accept Jesus as my personal lord and savior if I want to avoid being tortured for eternity. I also go down rabbit holes of reading Islamic articles that tell me I will be tortured for eternity if I do not accept that there is no God but God and fulfill Islamic lifestyle requirements.
What if there is a true religion and it happens to be one that has eternal punishment? What if I never become convinced of that belief system before I die? I keep going on Christian subreddits and reading posts and comments from people saying I have to believe in Jesus Christ in order to avoid hell, but I can't just choose to believe in something if I'm not convinced of it. Nobody can just choose to be convinced of anything. That would be like "choosing" to like or dislike a certain food.
Now I'm spending all day every day thinking about what might happen if there is a God out there, but He'll only love me on the condition that I'm convinced of the correct thing. I don't understand how I'm supposed to do that when there are so many different religions and denominations.
I actually have extended family members who are Mennonites who believe that my whole side of the family is going to hell. Sometimes I can't help but think, do they worry about going to Islamic hell? They're just as convinced that what they believe is true as any other believer, so how am I supposed to trust any individuals' personal spiritual experiences when they're all so different?
One time at a past job a Filipina co-worker invited me to a service at her church. I looked up her denomination, Iglesia Ni Cristo, and found out that they believe that they are the only true church and all other Christians but them are going to hell. I turned down her invitation after learning this because I knew it would freak me out. I also couldn't help but think, does my Mennonite extended family ever worry about the possibility that Iglesia Ni Cristo is the only correct Church and that they're going to hell for following an incorrect denomination?
This fear of hell has induced a lot of anxiety and negative self-talk for me. I'm constantly telling myself how stupid I am for not understanding something that billions of people around the world seem to be able to. Now I'm also constantly asking myself if I'm an abomination because I'm bisexual.
Is this something that any of you have dealt with? I remember when I went through this period a couple of years ago I eventually got rid of the anxiety by reading about religious history and coming to understand that all this heaven and hell stuff is really about control over the population by religious bodies. But now I can't help but think, what if I'm wrong? If I were to believe in biblical inerrancy like my extended family does, then it seems obvious that God would have no problem punishing me for eternity when He committed so many horrific acts in the Old Testament, but apparently He also loves me. I just don't understand any of it and nowadays I'm pacing back and forcing my bedroom nearly having panic attacks while telling myself over and over you're so fucking stupid you're so fucking stupid you're so fucking stupid you're so fucking stupid you're so fucking stupid. And this is just on the topic of Christianity. Part of me wants to be more well educated on Islam, but I also don't want that because I know it'll provoke so much more anxiety about hell.
Has anybody else gone through this? What helped you deal with these thoughts? I would like to hear people's honest input, regardless of your faith. I am seeking reassurance, however if you believe that I'm going to burn in hell, please tell me why.
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OCD
|
My mother is the least ADHD-brained person I know, but her brother and 2 of her 3 nieces/nephews have ADHD.
She's also a scientist who literally studies genetics.
And though she's never denied my neurological condition, it still befuddles her that I, her daughter, niece and cousin to multiple people with the same brain structure, have ADHD. She says I must have gotten it from my father's side (which I highly doubt).
I don't understand the disconnect. My sister (non-ADHD) and I were discussing it yesterday. The denial is just. . . Weird. Can anyone relate?
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ADHD
|
Does anyone else have moments where intrusive thoughts just completely kill your enjoyment for certain things. Often times when I’m watching a movie, playing a game, or out with friends I find myself having the most bizarre negative intrusive thoughts regarding the genuity of my experience I guess. These thoughts make me doubt my interest in a lot of things and make me question myself as an individual. As a result, I often end up having compulsions in order to prove to myself that my interests and experiences are genuine. For me It can be as small watching a show and when my favourite character comes on screen, my brain makes me constantly question my interest in them and eventually I start getting compulsions in order to prove that my interests are real. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense and it’s really hard to explain, but I was wondering if anyone has any similar experiences and if this is to be expected.
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OCD
|
For me personally, I would do things like pull on my eyelids repeatedly and I had made up this game around the time I was 9. The game included me tracing how many straight lines there were in every letter of random words I’d see/hear, and if the number at the end wasn’t even, I’d capitalize the entire word and try again or add new words if that failed. I remember checking on my siblings breathing while they were sleeping, same with my mom, and I was generally very cautious of things safety and would frequently jump to the conclusion that something would kill me. This was essentially the prelude to my paranoia-based OCD...
What about you guys?
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OCD
|
Hi there! right now I'm 21 y.o. and at the start of the year I've got my diagnosis (unfortunately private, so I'm not even able to get accommodations or other helpful support), even before my diagnosis things weren't all that well in my family and I went to the point of having one of the big and bad autistic breakdowns every week
I thought that having a diagnosis would help and smooth things in the family, but turns out that it hasn't helped a single thing (and I was even yelled at for having seen a therapist without saying anything to family members)
long story short, I'm an uni student (in theory I'm at my last bachelor year, but I've got so many exams to do that I don't even think that I could complete them in this year), my breakdowns are growing back again to an unhealthy amount that makes it impossible to both stay well during the day and to study for my exams, I've tried talking the situation out, but it's pretty much impossible.
so here I am, incapable of deciding anything... should I complete my 1/2 or even more years of uni in an unhealthy and stressful environment or should I screw it all over and run away (realistically, search for a job, I mean, I wouldn't literally run away lol) before it's too late but with all of the complication that this will cause?
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aspergers
|
An autobiographical work of literature written by sacocrapninja420
I still have to be there. For me. For you. For them. For God. There’s no clean cutting this, I have to fight tooth and nail to be a better man than I was yesterday. At least I have the experience. Time is of the essence, were you a successful person who is victorious today?
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ptsd
|
I have not been diagnosed with ADHD yet, I started the process of getting an appointment so I can be assessed. All my life I hace been struggling with motivation to do things. I just simply can’t get myself to do the things I know I have to do. I get anxious at the thought of missing deadlines but still I can’t convince my body to start doing the things I need to do. It just started getting a lot worse since I started this semester at college and I can’t bring myself to do any of the assignments I have to do. I struggle to even get out of bed to make some food even if I am starving. I’ve spent the past days crying because I realized my behavior is not normal at all and I desperately need some help and some assurance that I am not just lazy and making things up, but instead that I may have an illness that is preventing me from functioning. I feel so lonely, I tried explaining this to my boyfriend and he told me I should start exercising so I can channel my bad thoughts into something else, but I can’t get myself to get to the gym either.
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ADHD
|
I wish more people just understood the multiple layers of fuckery that is caused by having ADHD. It's not a simple "I can't get this bill paid", there are so many deep-rooted mechanisms in the brain specifically built to avoid "paying that bill" that makes the person physically unable to pay the bill.
And to the person that can't pay the bill, they can't work out why they can't pay it which induces anxiety, stress and sometimes leads to depression... which just acts as a catalyst to the whole process.
It's not a matter of being lazy, not being bothered or not caring - the person is psychologically wired in their brain to not be able to execute the action that solves the problem.
The complexity of ADHD is worsened by the fact that the above example will not be experienced by every person with ADHD. Every ADHD experience is different, and though traits are shared (and so are awesome revelations on here), and most suffer from similar problems, the range of problems are so diverse that different people with ADHD suffer from different problems than others with ADHD.
I'd also like to quickly add that ADHD is something that impacts every minute of every day. No day is easy. Having traits of ADHD sometimes is normal for normal people (everyone is sometimes late, sometimes can't do homework etc..) - actually having ADHD wrecks your entire life to the point that you're asking what the fuck is wrong.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
​
​
(ps this won't apply to everyone and does not cover all people with adhd. I just needed somewhere to get this out because this is how I feel. sorry for longish post)
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ADHD
|
I feel like I can't tell anyone I have OCD because they think my condition isn't that bad since I'm not constantly organizing and cleaning. Nevermind the clicking or poping sounds I have to do with my mouth, nevermind that I quadruple check every part of the work I do, nevermind that I have to look in every room's doorway I pass or that I have to touch the corners of walls I walk by, and all of this is a huge improvement with meds. I can't tell others of my intrusive thoughts without being considered as weird or scary. I still miss days from work a lot because it feels like something terrible will happen and my anxiety is unbearable without sedating meds. I guess I just feel alone. Those who aren't as judgemental just say sorry but can't understand what it's like to feel this way. I feel alone.
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OCD
|
Good afternoon all,
TLDR: I compulsively withdraw and lie even though I don't want to. Do you have these symptoms or experiences and if so, how do you cope?
Possible light trigger warning (Just mention of trauma type)
This is account is for this particular post.
Let me start with some background:I'm a male in mid 20s with some early childhood sexual trauma. I had done the standard thing of bottling it up until I hit my early 20s, at which point I went through counseling and gradually came to terms with, accepted my trauma, and even gotten to the point of informing my parents (I had kept this from them).
I've had issues of my symptoms being super stubborn. I get overloaded and silently withdraw from the world. It will be one little thing at a time until it cascades into full blown withdrawal from work and family. The worst part is the lying. I don't want to lie, but I spent my whole life lying about this trauma. When people ask me if I did a thing or went to work, I'll say yes, even if I didn't do that thing or took a mental health day from work. In my youth, I would forget schoolwork the moment I walked out of the classroom, and would lie to my parents about not having any because I didn't want to tell them I forgot. It's gotten to the point where I forget to do my taxes (I still pay them, I just don't file for my refund). The forgetting and lying compound on each other. I spent most of my childhood/teenage years grounded for not turning in school projects, but all my standard tests and quiz scores were great. It was one of those "you have the potential, why aren't you using it" things everybody tells these poor suffering children.
Fortunately, I was on the right path before this pandemic and subsequent lock-down hit. I had a good job (I'm a Sys-Admin, with a broad range of IT experience), was about to get a primary care physician and get a recommendation for a new therapist. I have a fiance and cat whom I love dearly. I have an ok car and love my immediate family. Everything was looking up, I was almost done crawling out of this pit.
Well, here we go again. I just got a call from work, and I'm pretty sure it was them firing me. I'd write more, but this is already a wall of text. I need to go ask for help, but I don't know what help I need or how to even get that help right now.
Does anybody else compulsively lie to their loved ones? Does anybody else have a hard time keeping a full time job? What has and hasn't worked for you in trying to solve these problems?
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ptsd
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I feel so beaten up from this disorder. I don’t even know how I’m gonna begin to recover. I don’t enjoy anything anymore and I feel like a terrible person. I miss enjoying life and not having to worry about stupid things all the time. Have any of you recovered from it? Does anyone here feel happy now? I just need some motivation I guess.
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OCD
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I know I don’t want it, I know it’s not me, but if I don’t reject it enough I feel like I secretly want it. Y’know the feel?
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OCD
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I’ll give an example : at work i sometimes worry if i pack peoples online shopping orders wrong (give the wrong person the wrong item) and if they have a severe allergy and then eat that thing they could die. but i shouldn’t even be thinking that far ahead :( THEY need to be aware of their allergies not me. if this was my colleagues and they packed their online shopping orders wrong, the most they’d probably be worried about is getting in trouble with a manager. why do i think of things/make connections so deeply. i’m exhausted.
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OCD
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When you help someone find out how they should be treated you expect them to not look back at the ex who treated them like shit right, apparently not, because no matter how much of the world you show them they will stay in one place, and it hurts, you showed them a better life, you watched them grow and realize more about life and their depression is lessening as is their anxiety, because they got back into the hobbies they used to do, but now, they are slowly dropping back to that void you helped them out of and they only push you away this time.
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depression
|
Why do they always start every text with "It seems that", "it sounds like" or "it feels like", and then just repeat what I've said? Are they trying to harvest data on my depression from me, but can't use the actual content of my texts?
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depression
|
My boyfriend has depression and hardly talks to me in a day but I still update him about my day and I sometimes ask if he's okay and he says he's just not in the mood and he doesn't know why and when I try to talk to him and ask if he wants to o on a call with me he says he doesn't want to because he's too lazy. What should I do?
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depression
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So I’ll just say right now that I don’t want to hurt myself at all I swear! However I’m so scared that it will happen in the future! But does anyone ever get the listing compulsion where you feel like you need to list all the reasons you won’t kys but if you don’t get the right feeling then you get super anxious and feel like it must be true then? Im not majorly depressed at all I’m just worried that maybe I’ll stop caring or something! Ugh this sucks man anyone else have this??
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OCD
|
I dont know if this is the place for this question, but I’m kind of desperate I guess. I tried googling this problem, but all the stuff that comes up is articles about “curing” ADHD through vegetarianism, which is NOT wat I’m going for. I just want to be a vegetarian lol.
I’ve been wanting to change my eating habits for the longest time now, cause I hate what the meat industry does to the planet (not trying to make anyone feel bad, it’s just how I feel).
I’ve tried going cold turkey, I’ve tried starting with certain groups and then excluding more and more, but it doesn’t work. Any time I’m out to dinner, or if I’m offered something, I somehow forget about this big thing I’m trying to change and eat meat anyway (and then feel super guilty about it).
I’m wondering if anyone here has tried and succeeded, and if they have advice. Also: why is this so frickin hard? Not just this but any habit I try to change, I have such a hard time.
Cheers and thanks.
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ADHD
|
**Questions and TL;DR:**
(1) Do you find todo lists better or schedules/time blocking/time boxing?
(2) A better question may be also, *when* or *under which circumstances* do you use either?
(3) How do you consider, during (a) planning and (b) execution, the *emotional* challenge of actually **sticking** to a plan?
— — — — — — — — —
* I'm *overwhelmed* by all the choices I can make at any given moment.
* This is why I need structure & planning. However…
* I'm *overwhelmed* by all the choices I can make when structuring & planning, too!
* This includes not only the many choices of what I actually need to do, how, and when; but also what method of structuring and executing I should use under which circumstances.
* For me personally, the one big symptom of ADHD is extreme difficulty with *automatic/intuitive* decision making and momentary agency, as opposed to the *intellectual/deliberate* decision making which I and almost everyone is capable of, but which incurs a much higher mental cost.
* And then of course, actually **sticking** to a plan is so hard. That means resisting urges that are caused by discomfort, fear, and also past traumatisation.
**Resources—the tools that are already there for me and working:**
* Quite functional in most other areas of life: no forgetfulness, good social life, intelligence, secure job, availability of working medication, weekly psychotherapy, living in a country where almost all medical services are covered, availability of an ADHD-specific coach in a couple months' time.I struggle mostly with the emotional intricacies of decision making and execution, compared even to all of the many people with ADHD that I know personally.
* True mindfulness—not just meditation, but actually being present without expectations during everyday activities and not dissociating for 16 hours straight—appears to be an immensely powerful resource that I haven't explored enough.
**TL;DR** The first three questions :-)
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ADHD
|
I went through a lot of change recently and the last month I've been finding myself in a slippery slope towards getting hypersensitive to everything again. The past week it reached all time high and I almost didn't leave home, and rescheduled all meetings. This week I could keep rescheduling.
So few of the things I needed to do required me getting on a bus in peak hours, which I've been now totally fine with for years... And then bam, this week I'm all hypervigilant again. And being on the bus like that made me suddenly feel a heat wave and getting nauseous. I've been panicked before, but this got bad fast and had I not asked someone to take their seat I would have sat on the floor this is how quickly my knees gave out.
Someone on here recommended me a book for ptsd which I think will be helpful, and on one app I found the official ptsd workbook and I plan to go through both of these and do any exercises in them. There is mental health center I can go for free for counselling, just need to be a bit better. Last time I made the appointment I freaked out about the bus thing and couldn't go. But I will do my best to do it soon. Anything else I can do? I am really frustrated with myself.
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ptsd
|
I recently got prescribed Adderall XR 10mg. I have an alarm set every morning for 10 am to take it so that by 11 pm I can take my night meds and go to bed.
But here I am, 11 am, and I have no clue what to do with myself.
I have nothing particularly important to do until like, 1 pm? My husband is still sound asleep, so I don’t want to rummage through the room cleaning and wake him.
But also I’m still so new to it, and I don’t want to skip days because I want my tolerance to go up so that the side effects go away.
And it’s almost every single morning, and I throw myself into an anxiety attack because I’m not productive. My hearts beating just a tad bit faster and a tad bit harder, and I feel like I need do things to compensate with that.
Now reminder, I’m not working or going to school at the moment either. I’m just sort of existing, applying for jobs, that’s about it.
Does anyone else experience the same problems or am I just unmotivated?
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ADHD
|
This is currently happening to me. I had an unexpected meltdown on Saturday night after a fairly productive, good week, and since then (its late Monday morning now) I’ve just been in a state of dissociation.
I feel much more depressed, and I’ve been getting the urge to cry in random moments since, but it just doesn’t come out. It’s almost like I’m numb? On a couple of those occasions I have tried to let it out, but just nothing happens.
Can anyone relate, and if anyone has experienced this and has learned to cope better, how did you learn?
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aspergers
|
Does anyone else obsess over smells? About an hour ago, I was sorting through some clothes and lifted a shirt my mum got for me a few weeks ago. When she gave me it, it was completely clean and dry and when I lifted it tonight, this extremely strong smell was coming from it and I haven’t stopped obsessing about it ever since. I keep asking myself where did the smell come from and what was it? And for some really weird reason, it created this feeling of pure fear. I know that sounds so stupid but I hope someone understands.
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OCD
|
Everything started when I was like 12,I had sexually intrusive thoughts of family members and friends. They sometimes popped up during masturbation too, which always made me felt bad and disgusted. But for a certain period everything was gone until the age of 14. I was passing a few children and had a again disturbing intrusive thoughts. Since that day I can't even look at children anymore without feeling bad and weird. In the last few month it got even worse for me. Everytime I see a kid or just think about the word kid or pedophile my salivation incereases and sometimes feel a feeling down there (not an erection though). All this makes me hate myself so much, I don't know if I can take it anymore. I definitely like adult women and have only sexual fantasies about them even have a crush on the girl at my age, but all the weird stuff that happens with me lately makes me just question myself. I can't even sleep anymore with this guilt.
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OCD
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So I'm a pretty healthy individual (doctors are always impressed by my blood pressure, etc), bUT I do love me sweets. So of course my brain went 'time to make this into an obsession!" I've been scared of getting type two diabetes and obsessively would check myself. This has resulted in worsening my the Eating Disorder I already have.
Today is one of my bad anxiety days for a number of reasons. It was going to result in me not eating more than a banana but I managed to fight through it. So I decided to go back to the diet of my childhood self as a comfort. Hot dogs for lunch, some ice cream for dessert.
​
It's weird because right now I'm slowly going through my ice cream just to make sure I get calories in. I'm both comforted and also filled with dread, but luckily the ice cream is really starting to help relax me.
​
\*Note: I have the average diet of a person in their 20s. I'm also on T so I'm basically going through second puberty. I also use to check my blood sugar quite a bit and it was pretty healthy lol
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OCD
|
In the past couple of days, I was playing a video game and after I killed someone I heard this really creepy laugh that couldn't have come from anywhere because I was alone in the dark playing it. It sounded like a woman my own age (29).
Today I'm cooking a lasagna and twice now I've heard sounds of liquid boiling over and I run to the kitchen to find no problem.
I'm fucking scared, I thought this was over.
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ptsd
|
Hello guys, Im going through a tough situation rightnow, I hope someone can help me getout of this regret and feeling that I’m evil and not a good person. Immoral, in my teenage time like I was 14-15 years. I touched a cow’s vigina with my foot, I didn’t know if that was right or wrong at that point of time may be out of curiosity I could have done that but no matter how many times I tell this to myself and try to convince that Im not a bad disgusting person still my brain kind of making me regret it very badly
. But suddenly last month that memery triggered into my brain. And now I feel like, why I did that and Am I really a disgusting person…these thoughts repeatively stuck in my brain. I am worried about everything in my life now, I know from depth of my heart that Im a good person but then after sometime this thought comes up into my mind and then I get moodoff and I don’t want to do anything in life and I get stuck and can’t focus and all my happiness turned into sorrow and I feel terrible that no one would do this and In the whole world I only did this and Im a cruel person and subjected to be punishment. I can’t seem to find a way out to live my life again with same happiness before 2 weeks. How can I actually get rid of this memory, and I honestly did not had knowledge of what is wrong and moral and right at that age.
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OCD
|
Hey all, please don't call me stupid
Bipolar girl here with a diet that's pretty unhealthy at the moment because of poor coping mechanisms. I eat a lot of candy, cool drinks and chips to get that serotonin but was wondering (hopefully from your experiences) whether eating healthier actually improves depression? I'm taking initiative to feel better at the moment and have started light exercise.
Please dont call me stupid and thank you x
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depression
|
im so tired of getting these conspiracy videos on my for you page. it is so triggering and it is what triggered my OCD in the first place in 3rd grade when all the 2012 bs came about. i dont feel real right now and i feel so scared. please be careful on there. people always fear monger “something bad is coming” like they have said that over and over and then people chime in and think they agree but it’s bullshit. im so tired of living in fear. i feel like im losing myself. im so tired of living on edge. most of those conspiracies have anti semitic propaganda roots too. i just need help and support right now i cant stop panicking. i just want to feel safe in the world. words of logic appreciated right now.
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OCD
|
Hi Reddit, I don't know what to do anymore. I (23/F) live by myself with my cat and am very lonely but that's only the tip of the iceberg. I live in the smallest town in the smallest state (look it up if you'd like to. Hint, it's about 8 miles long) that hasn't seen a lot of terrible violence in a long time.
I moved to my new place in February and aside from some bumps (neighbor touching me, other neighbor thinking I'm insane when I opened up to them, etc.) I've been pretty good if not sad.
I believe it's two weeks on Thursday, there was a shooting.
Right. In. Front. Of. My. House.
A murder hasn't happened in this town in 18 years but this guy who was very well know, got upset at the bar and went home and grabbed his gun and blew the head off of another well known guy in town and wounded another before going home and engaging in a shootout with police.
I have PTSD already but my neighbor who was a good friend of his was screaming and crying and after he was dead she wanted to go see the body (she was very, very drunk) and me and another neighbor had to literally man handle her back into the yard.
After all this I went with my father to get mom from surgery (she had her gallbladder out) and the cops let me go. After I got back though they wouldn't let me back onto the street even though there were little old ladies sitting in the "live crime scene".
I went to the station but was very hyped up and when told I couldn't go to my house I banged on the glass. Next thing I know a guy (not in uniform, didn't identify himself) grabs my backpack and spins me around.
I panicked and punched him and suddenly I'm on the floor and he informs he he's a cop and I'm being arrested. Yes, I struggled a lot. That didn't give him the right to repeatedly bash my head against the wall though.
The Sargent who I sorta know came down the stairs and for a moment I thought I was safe until he starts screaming at me. They dragged me to the cell ("if you try anything you're going down again"), patted me down excessively after I informed them I'd been molested (the officer kept doing it again and again. I assure you, if there wasn't anything in my bra the first time there's nothing there the second and third), and sent me to a mental evaluation after calling me names and telling me I'm "bat shit fucking crazy".
Man, the bruises that stayed for weeks didn't hurt nearly as much as that statement. I went to the evaluation and I got told after five hours I was brutalized and could go home.
I now have a court date and mom has hired a lawyer but the cops refuse to check footage and insist I bit him and spit at him and punched him before he grabbed me (all of which is false).
I can't turn to the cops anymore for assistance, I'd rather deal with stuff myself. Honestly, the police are supposed to protect you but now.... Idk anymore.
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ptsd
|
Hi there, i decided to make a throwaway account to finally tell this to someone.
So basically about 5 years ago when i was 18. I started having a time in my life where i had a lot of panic attacks. Especially the first 2 times really stuck to me. First one was in the evening after the gym and first time i drank a pre workout shake.
Second one was really random when we were on vacation. We went on a walk in the evening and decided to have a drink somewhere. About 10 minutes after drinking a bit i started having a panic attack. I didnt know this was a panic attack back then and i suddenly had the horrible thought that something was wrong with my drink. I didnt say this to my parents tho, i said i'm really not feeling good and scared something might happen.
After this it all went downhill really fast. Panic attacks happened wayy too many times and i guess that's where my OCD really came out.
Eventually went to a therapist for the panic attacks but i didnt tell anyone about the following.
I eventually didnt trust anyone anymore with drinks or food, it started with outside stuff like restaurants.
But then also close friends and family. I had thoughts that they might put something in my food or drinks. I still feel horrible years later and i never told anyone. I was also undiagnosed at this time because in didnt tell anyone about my thoughts and compulsions. I was too scared, didnt know what OCD was and i thought i was going crazy.
When i ate or drank something i even remember checking my phone and thinking to myself, give it an hour if i'm still feeling okayy then. Then i'm alright.
Luckly most of these thoughts went away over time, but sometimes after all these years (now that i'm diagnosed as well) it can appear again.
I still feel horrible, i remember i even tried to hang out in the kitchen area. Just to make sure i can see what goes into the meal, because i didnt even trust my own parents?!
I guess some of this still stuck to me since i'm always checking every bite what's on there exactly.
Lately i'm thinking back to that times and damnn i'm really lucky it mostly stopped that exact thoughts. They stopped a bit after the panic attacks stopped.
I don't wanna know in what state i would be right now if they stayed or even got worse. I didn't know i had OCD and i didn't have the professional help i have now.
Didn't tell anyone because i didn't trust anyone at the time.
And now i really don't want anyone close to me to know this. (Also didn't tell my therapist this because i really can't bring up the courage to say it.) They're all the most wonderfull people i know and i love my family and friends soo much <3
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OCD
|
I went through 4 years of college writing crappy papers the night before they were due. They were always way below the page limit because I couldn't focus long enough on this activity I hate to write something substantial.
Now I'm in law school and that doesn't fly. I had so many sleepless nights and was brought to tears several times trying to force myself to learn how to write. Started having panic attacks for a while.
I'm finally getting treatment for ADHD and even though J still dont like writing I'm learning that it doesn't have to be a miserable experience. Writing my appellate brief right now and struggling to stay below the 30 page limit which would be inconceivable to me 2 years ago. I know I'm gonna get this thing done and turn in something g I'm proud of and it's such a relief
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ADHD
|
Hello fellow OCD’ers, or maybe not. I’m a junior in highschool and I’ve been thinking a lot about college recently. I have been pretty set that I wanted to go to a military college because it seems like something I want to do. Make friends that will last a lifetime and belong to something bigger than yourself. But last night my brother said “go with your gut” when choosing a college. This led to me researching what that truly meant and now I am in a weird situation where I feel as though I don’t want to go to this college and my “gut” is saying this college is not where you should go and you should attend a normal college. I have been so stressed because I had made plans to go here, visited, and was excited to go. But now I feel as though I’m not meant to go. Is this truly a “gut” feeling or is my OCD getting the best of me?
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OCD
|
I've tried my hardest to stop giving in to my compulsions, but the anxiety just won't go away. I've tried to wait it out for hours and then days. I was hoping that I would just forget and then the anxiety would just fade away, but I would still continue to obsess over them until I gave in and completed them. I'm feeling really defeated because it's not getting any easier. My birthday is on Friday and the idea of spending the whole day doing whatever my ocd tells me to do is making me really sad. I wish I knew how to beat this.
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OCD
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I haven't been able to cry for a moment, but I just feel so heavy, like I would actually like to cry and get in touch with my deeper feelings. Does anyone have some tips to help against emotional dissociation? Or what triggers it
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depression
|
I made another post describing my current struggle with HOCD and feeling the need to check myself as well as the desire/need to "undo an experience" (impossible, I know) by redoing it/reexperiencing it differently. I am making this post because it's another, simpler way to describe what I'm struggling with for several days now, and in hopes to increase my chances at getting a response (yes, I'm kinda desperate right now).
If anyone understands, can relate, or has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.
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OCD
|
Hey, been on strattera for 5 weeks approximately. It helps with anxiety and gives a warm feeling. Also quiets my head and i can read much easier than before, im also more motivated than before. However: its making me feel stuck in a bubble sort of, im much less down to earth on it if you get what I mean. I also have a hard time being serious on it and much more "giddy" and almost childish. I can't express my frustrations as well on it either, im acting like a teenager again. Im 30 btw.
Has anyone experienced this and is it something that will go away with time? The effects get worse the higher the dose btw.
Went back to 18-36 mg from 60 mg. Besides the previously mentioned side effects I'm also alot more tired/sleepy.
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ADHD
|
I’m not sure if this is where I should post this..
It’s been just over 2 weeks since the love of my life asked for a break with zero contact… we have an incredible foundation built on communication and love, by far the strongest relationship I’ve ever had. This has to have been some of the hardest days of my life. We haven’t had a bad day or speed hump till now and I’m not sure what to do, how to act or how to respond. She’s such a sweet girl, caring, loving and someone I want to build a life with.
She’s trusted me enough to tell me of her traumatic past, her depression and anxiety. All I want is to make her feel safe and loved.
Her reasoning for wanting a break is that she wants to seek help and work on the goals she’s set for herself which I encourage, going on to say “I’m not sure why, i just feel nothing”, which hurt more than anything. However, she described me as a safety net, which I took as something good at the time but have come to understand that it may not be as good as I thought.
I’ve already reached out once just to reassure her how much I love and care for her, and the response I received was “thank you Tibbers *heart*”, Which is the cute nickname she gave me. She recently liked a pic of mine and posted a cute pic of herself which I fought the urge to reach out again. I’d do anything to see her smile again..
I understand this is relationship advice more than anything but I felt as though there must be someone out there that’s felt this or had this happen before!
Thank you in advance!
(Update)
She called a couple nights ago crying because something traumatic happened to a friend, considering the circumstances, I didn’t bring up anything about us other than I miss and love her to which she responded feeling the same way. I wanted to attempt to end the break right then and there, but I decided I’d just say “I’m always here if you need me, I’ll be your rock when you have to be someone else’s”. I can’t wait to see her…
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depression
|
Hello, a bunch of sensory toys were donated by accident and now I need to get some more and replace them. Does anyone know where I can find cheap sensory toys? I mean like a dollar cheap not pack of 5 for 21.99
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aspergers
|
It doesn't matter how many times she says she loves me. I just don't feel like I deserve to have a girlfriend. It doesn't feel real. Almost like I'm just waiting for her to leave me, even though I know she won't. I still can't get past it.
I've had really bad experiences in other relationships so it's kind of ingrained into my brain now that I'll never be a good enough boyfriend.
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aspergers
|
Hello (obligatory sorry for the spelling, English is not my first language)
I weren’t sure whether or not I wanted to use a throwaway for this post, but I’ve chosen to do so, because I used to base my personality on my depression and now want to distance myself so not to fall back into that pattern. I’ve never posted here before, so I don’t really know how to format this, but I’ll do my best.
Around 7 years ago I suffered from depression and loneliness, I dealt with it mostly by myself, since my parents weren’t supporting/helping me with getting the help I so desperately needed. I ended up getting some help myself and getting “out of it” after 3 years of suffering. Everything went well after that. I lost some weight, got healthier, figured out what I wanted to do with my life, made a lot of friends and became sort of popular (based on what I was used to), but then around 3 years ago I fell back into my depression, and kind of had to start over. I asked my parents for help, didn’t get any and found it myself. The years after "getting out" again went well, but I’m fearing I’m falling back again. All my insecurities are back, I keep doubting myself and honestly just feel in a bad place. Many of the thoughts and feelings return from time to time. But I KNOW things are good, and I keep reminding myself that. But the loneliness and the emptiness keep sneaking up on me, and I suddenly get these days that feel exactly (or how I remember it at least) like my depression used to. Can anyone relate, or am I just messing other signs? Should I just brace myself for a 3rd round?
Really seeking any advice or opinion, I have friends I can talk to, and while they aren’t the best my family supports me as well.
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depression
|
I literally keep getting intrusive sexual thoughts about alot of people i know or i meet and it’s really tiring me, like my mind starts imagining sexual images about them for no reason and i can’t stop & i hate it so sm it makes me feel so guilty
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OCD
|
Hi there, thanks for taking some time to read my post. I take Adderall XR in the morning and I am prescribed an IR booster to take around noon. However, I am prohibited from possessing controlled substances at work according to their drug policy. Is this something that they’re allowed to do?
Feels like a potential ADA violation to me, but I wanted to see if anyone else had an experience like this. I live in Arizona. Thank you for any help or suggestions!
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ADHD
|
If I am a shit the people who want something for me are fly's?
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depression
|
My good friend of mine was just recently diagnosed by her therapist with mild OCD and just told me about it. She told me she has pretty mild OCD with her hands and liquids, where she says she's extremely uncomfortable with her hands being or feeling damp, and either needs them dried off or wiped.
As her friend, I want to be able to be there with her, so I've been researching more about OCD and ways I can support her. But, while I am trying to educate myself and learn more about OCD, I still want to be sure that I don't say/do things in ways that could hurt her or make her feelings feel undermined.
I've told her that I was going to research and learn about OCD and what I can do to be there for her, and I've also asked her what ways I can help her feel most comfortable/supported (e.g, I asked if me bringing tissues whenever we go out or having extra hand towels at my place would help her, to which she said yes!).
If any of y'all have articles or resources to recommend about learning about OCD and how to support someone with OCD for someone who doesn't have a lot of knowledge about it, please let me know as I would really appreciate it!
And if y'all also have any advice or tips on things I can do or behave as a friend with someone who has OCD please do let me know too, they would be greatly appreciated :)
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OCD
|
This isn't ADHD I think, but I was diagnosed recently, and Idk where else to post.
TL;DR, Emotions rub off on me really easily, but I'm used to having very little emotion. Wondering why, and how to fix it.
Recently I've realized that however someone else I'm near often responds to something, I eventually react similarly. I used to be incapable of rage, but now I'm mimicking it. The emotion is there, but I'm confused by it. Same with jealousy, recognizing unfairness, and being giddy. They always present themselves in a way identical to whoever I picked it up from. It's very weird and I don't like it. I didn't used to have any strong emotions, and that was better. Why is this happening? I'm wondering if it has something to do with how I consciously analyze data from people to better fit socially and find behavioral patterns? Have I gone too far and now the fitting in is automated? How do I make this stop, is there only just backing away from people for a while, waiting for a reversion to kick in? Please help.
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ADHD
|
Hey guys. How do you deal with being robbed of perspective? My particular depression currently is the result (I strongly believe) of benzo withdrawals. Due to the nature of the beast, I will have 'windows' of good days, or at least good hours (almost always on the evening). Then I will have days or weeks or crushing depression and anxiety.
When I'm in my windows, I feel positive, hopeful, like I will get better,that life is worthwhile and I can fight through this. Then the wave comes and I am robbed of all perspective and positivity.
How do you cope with this particular aspect of depression? The loss of objectivity, of perspective?
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depression
|
I am self-diagnosed, but I need a official confirmation and need help in dealing with the problems this condition brings.
Thing is I am really scared of being said I don't have Asperger's. Because without it, I have no way to explain a lot of my life, behaviors, and how I have felt.
Considering how much I can relate to the stories in this sub and symptoms elsewhere, I am pretty convinced of my self-diagnosis. Why, just when I came to write this post, I saw a post asking "Do you guys have imaginary arguments? " and thought "a 100 times, yes".
But I think another part of why I am scared is because I am tired of dragging my wife to hospitals. I also struggle with migraines and we have been to several hospitals looking for a cure in just 4 years of our marriage. She hasn't said a word or complained. But I don't want to be that guy whose
problems are the main attraction of the marriage.
But I recognise that I cannot fix all of my problems by myself and, after a lot of procrastination, I took an appointment with a psychologist for tomorrow. My heart was thumping when on the call. I know that's odd for a 27 year old, but that's how that went.
Anyways, I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Good night, everyone. :)
|
aspergers
|
It's so frustrating to slip back into bad days or weeks, especially when I can't figure out what caused it or it seems so petty and small to me, and because I've come so far in getting better and making progress. I just feel like all I can do is stay home, like I need to be away from everyone. No one feels safe to be around. And the more I stay away, the harder it is to reconnect and interact with people, so I keep staying away. I know I'll work through this again and get back to my normal life again, it's just so isolating and frustrating.
|
ptsd
|
Since age has affected my answer, I’m curious if it affects others’ answers?
- How many years have you been diagnosed?
- Would you wish it away if you could?
I’ve been diagnosed since I was 8 (so 20 years ago) and I honestly don’t know if I would.
If you had asked me 10 years ago, I would have exclaimed “YES!” without any hesitation.
But in college I started actually researching ADHD and learning about it, and (naturally) it turns out it’s not just not being able to sit still or having difficulty focusing. All my little “Quirks” (as my mother would call them) were all directly related to my ADHD.
Our entire brain structure is different, which means with this wish everything -even including how I think- would be affected with this wish.
And that, my friends, is terrifying. At 28 years old, this question terrifies me because on the one hand the super simple everyday tasks could become easy and painless! With an unlimited attention span I could do something cool like become a musician (of professional level of 1 instrument instead of right now where I’m beginner in like 6 different instruments). There are so many foods I would be able to enjoy!!! (I have a texture thing that pretty severely limits my diet). The possibilities are endless! I might even take over the world!
**But with a completely different brain I have no clue who I would be.**
And that emptiness, that uncertainty about my own identity is so terrifying to me that I now instinctively say “No.”
What about you?
DISCLAIMER:
ADHD is a spectrum, it affects everyone differently. Everything written above only applies to my personal experiences and opinions of myself.
|
ADHD
|
My entire life has felt like this, isolated, lonely, anti social and actively doing nothing. Ever since I was little, it's just been games, anime, cartoons, comics, graphic novels, movies, shows, computers, table top games that I've always played alone and I'm sick of it, crying right now because I'm sad about it, I've wasted my entire childhood and teen years alone and I really hate it, my only friends are online whom I respect and love dearly but knowing they don't feel like our friendship matters as much as I feel it does, makes it all worse, I hate being so lonely I hate it to death. You know what makes it worse? Knowing that although there are some people that do relate to me out there, probably will never meet them, I'll be stuck in this forever, I love all the things I stated before but I don't want to do them alone anymore, it just makes me sad. The feelings seem to have enhanced during the pandemic.
|
aspergers
|
I'm at work rn, don't have my weighted blanket and I feel so unsafe.
No particular reason, I am physically safe where I am but I want to hide between my desk and the wall.
How do you guys feel safe?
|
ptsd
|
I'm so hungry but my depression won't let me eat, I feel like I'll throw up if I do , how do I eat.... I wish I could eat
|
depression
|
One of my compulsions is ripping out hair (mostly on my eyebrows) and I saw in the mirror that I’ve lost quite a bit of hair and now I want to stop doing it but I feel like something bad is going to happen if I don’t
|
OCD
|
Hey guys, I have POCD, and Yesterday While watching p*rn I watched a video from the “twink” category, I always avoided those videos because they triggered me, but yesterday I said “fuck it I know its not true, they’re not minors” but my mind still told me they were, what if they were minors and im turning into a monster, im panicking what if this is the beginning i feel awful, I say I wont act on these urges but what if I do, what if im too good faking feeling bad and im just a psychopath that’s why i feel my words are empty, im so scared I can’t how do i prevent this. i knew this would happen i cant i cant i cant i cant
|
OCD
|
Hie just visited a walk-in family doctor n after meeting me for like 15 minutes told the doc how I’ve been feeling from 4-5 years but I’ve never told anyone about my feelings this is the first time I’m telling a professional doctor about how i feel low all the time n suicidal thoughts that i get all the time. So he said he’d want me to put on zoloft 25mg a does a day which idn how long. Idk what to do i havent been taking any antidepressants n there’s a stigma in my mind against them so is anyone taking them can you please tell is it safe cuz he said it’s not a street drug that you can sell you gotta have a proscription to take this med.
idk anything about these kindda stuff I’m skeptic in a way that I’ll be hooked up on these things.
|
depression
|
I get really really down sometimes when significant others or parents or friends say “you never listen to me”. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do listen…. Sure, elementary school I would listen and a certain word would trigger the avalanche of thoughts and I’d be lost. A little better in Highschool but not great. Eventually figured out how to cope with it in University.
I got really good at listening. Some people have a photographic memory, turns out mine is acoustic. Like a digital mp3 recorder. I can rewind, play it back, hear the words, the intunation, the emotion the intensity, the pitch and the volume (turns out that is also not always a good thing….) but I do listen and the audio file gets saved.
But when I’m under stress at work… that audio file gets lost. It’s like my brain makes room for the “work” directory by dumping files from the “personal life” directory. That’s why I never remember to make appointments for doctors, therapists, email people for Birthdays wish them luck for something or get concert tickets while I am at work. The second I walk out the office door, I remember. I’ll hear your voice saying “wish me luck for my 10:00 presentation to the board of directors “. The “personal life” directory file allocation table is suddenly accessible.
So I seem like a bad friend, a bad son, a bad boyfriend because it seems like I don’t listen … but I do. It’s just that those audio files are not always accessible. While I’m at work and things get stressful, they are just gone.
But I did listen, and I did care. A lot. And still do.
|
ADHD
|
I take Vyvanse for my ADHD (btw it loses the therapeutic efficiency with time usage) and I think it makes the overload systemic dangerous. It seems like I'm fainting, so I lay down. However, the pressure in my head still noticed and somehow my head spinning. And I just want relief and the only way I know it's passing out from benzos or cutting my skin. Sometimes overhearing it's combined with tinnitus which can trigger a panic attack because it can be permanent. I'm not a weirdo, it's just feels like dying.
|
aspergers
|
Today my husband and I got into a minor disagreement and then resolved it before he went to work. Then I went into the closet and saw that he had pulled a pile of my clothes down onto the floor. This triggered me so bad that I then sent him ANGRY text messages all day. The back story is abuse from my mother. She used to get mad at me and come into my bedroom and break my stuff or throw it around the room. So seeing the clothes on the floor triggered me. The problem was that for the entire day until about an hour ago I literally could not handle my anger towards him. I said horrible things. He is also claiming he was looking for something and he thinks the clothes fell on the floor. He says he didn’t mean to. Now I’m feeling guilty. Posting here because I feel bad. I don’t know what I’m looking to get out of it though.
|
ptsd
|
I'm not talking about having a memory that happened, but it's distorted, but that you have a memory of, for example, you being at a party on new year's eve and got into a fight when in fact, the event didn't even happen, you were just chilling at home watching a movie.
|
OCD
|
I have so much homework due today and I knew I had all week but I just can’t make myself start it until right now after having a breakdown and trying to go into hyperdrive. I was diagnosed with ADHD and I was just working when I got medication, it changed my life so much but now that I’m back in school (and it was switched to online last minute) I feel like I just got pushed back into a fucking pit and set on fire. I hate taking my meds because I have to eat before I take my depression meds and I want to take my ADHD meds at the same time but I don’t want to eat after I take my ADHD meds and I don’t wanna eat until I take my ADHD meds because I can’t put in the effort to make any food until I do that.
Also half the time my depression meds and my ADHD meds make me feel like I wanna rip all my skin off or throw up unless I just get lucky that day. I just wanna be normal, I miss when I was in high school and I was pushing myself to the brink and yes I wanted to die every day but at least I could be successful and do things that people expected me to do. That I expected me to do. I just hate this so much
|
ADHD
|
I'm feeling very depressed and I'm just wondering if it will ever get better? I'v tried so many pills and I'm just wondering anyone of them will work? I fucking hate everything and the only thing that seems to make me feel better is running, but that still doesn't make "love" life anymore. I guess I'm more curious about ssri's and if they actually made you enjoy life more? Because I feel completely empty most of the time and don't seem to want to pursue things..
|
depression
|
I have notebooks, a lot of notebooks. I use one and then contemplate do I use this book. I buy more with plans to use them and don't.
I write notes, a lot of notes. To do lists are an obsession of mine, usually I'll write, "create a routine" I have to do lists from over 5 years ago with the exact same thing on them.
I plan so much that I don't do what I was planning for.
I want to write a diary, I use one of my books and then I'll decide to use my phone, then voice record and then procrastinate which one to use. I'll break down and not want to do it anymore when realistically I need to vent.
I have severe diagnosed depression and am on Mirtazapine. I have had depression since I was 12 years old. Started medication 2 years ago, 21 now. I'm hoping to find out why I'm like this.
I apologise if this offends anyone.
|
OCD
|
I move things around a lot. I’m very intense about it. I want to slow down, but I don’t know how to reel it in. It’s hard on me physically. Today I ran up and down levels of my house carrying heavy containers of things, turned a room into a faux spa room, and rearranged the dining room into the living room. My body hurts after doing this for so long. My feet are bruised, my back hurts, and I have a lot of cuts on my hands. I’m 21 and healthy now, but I worry about my future health.
I feel confused and scared about how to wake up and not immediately start moving things. I want to slow down, but I don’t know how without being miserably depressed in bed. It’s like my only mode when I’m awake is to be moving things. I start ERP therapy in April. Until then I feel like I’m scanning for a glitch in the system.
Do any of you have some tips that could help me slow down?
|
OCD
|
Appreciate any thoughts on whether amphetamine salts can lead to tremor in one hand. Just began takeing them for adhd after a neuro eval came up with a diagnosis. It shows up when I hold my phone or try to pour a glass of wine. Seems to get worse after coffee which makes sense. I also read that smoking can create a tremor so wanted to see if anyone has had similar experience.
|
ADHD
|
I mean seemingly strange because NTs will look at you like your crazy but in your head it makes sense.
For example, yesterday my girlfriend said "Careful you don't want to break the glass table" and in my head it instantly went to the Simpsons quote "I can't let that happen, I won't let that happen and I can't let that happen".
It's funny and she finds it funny too but if I say these things out loud to some friends or family etc. they look at me like I have two heads. All day every day I make these random associations in my head, almost always with a tv show/film quote or songs. I wonder if it annoys people around me who don't get it. Particularly the music associations that I sing out loud annoy people I feel so I try to stop myself.
Other times it will seem ENTIRELY random and crazy because I'll hear something which will remind of one thing (that I don't say) then that leads to another association (that I don't say) and so on. Then when I do say what's in my head out loud, it's gone through 3 or 4 layers of associations and makes absolutely no sense to the situation whatsoever.
Maybe I really am losing it haha
|
aspergers
|
So I took a gap year from college last year and I’m that year I gained horrible new obsession that have plagued my life until now, I’ve recently started college and I feel so much better when I’m there, I’m doing my work and I’m away from my thoughts because I’m distracted and I only realised now how much anxiety I get when I think about going back home, it shouldn’t be like this, everyone should want to go home on a Friday to relax but all that does is fill me with dread, I think I have a compulsion of going to college? If that makes any sense since a compulsion is something you do to gain relief right? And it feels like the more comfortable I get being away from my thoughts in college the more anxious I get to go home. I don’t know what to do, I just want to be my old self who loved going home so I could watch Netflix or go on the PS4 with friends, I don’t know what to do with this compulsion man…
|
OCD
|
So I just got prescribed bupropion XL 150mg yesterday from my doctor and I’m curious on anyone’s experiences on this if they’ve tried it before.
I’m not on any other different stimulants, but I was originally on 100mg of SR and I felt a little bit more focused, but I got back to my normal self where I’m just disorganized and inattentive. Doctor prescribed me 200mg but I think that just made me feel funky.
I’m a bit scared for the XL. Are there any significant differences? What are your experiences with XL only?
|
ADHD
|
Im a 15 year old high-functioning male and ever since I had my first and only relationship, I haven't been able to enjoy anything because all I can think about is a make-believe world where I'm in a relationship where someone really loves me. My first relationship was an emotionally manipulative one, and even then, I still felt like I was on top of the world. I don't know if it's normal to feel like this or if I need professional help or if I'm just being overdramatic. Does anyone have any advice?
|
aspergers
|
I discovered two weeks ago that I have had OCD for the past 7-9 years. I can't stop thinking and it's driving me crazy. On one side, it allows me to analyze and give me the success I have as an entrepreneur. On the other, I can't stop thinking, I can't relax, and when my brain is so tired of thinking that I want to sleep, I can't tell it to shut up and just fall asleep. Now that I know it is because of OCD, it feels even more out of my control and I feel that I won't be able to work it out with meditation or techniques like a "normal person". It sucks..
|
OCD
|
I (25f) and my partner (24m) have been together for almost 2 years. I've had a few occurrences in my past (childhood and adult) where I was sexually abused/raped.
He has had an issue with asking for details about these occurrences from the beginning. I have always answered and told him everything he needs to know.
However, it always leaves it fresh on my mind when I actively try not to remember or think about these things. It makes me ptsd act up and I always feel sick after.
He struggles pretty badly with insecurity and has asked for details like this on my relationships with other people and my sexual past. But I don't know why he keeps asking for details on these stories.
I've told them to him multiple times but he always "forgets" and then says "can I ask you something about your past".
I feel like this is putting a wedge in our relationship because in a way I feel like he retraumatizing me. But I don't know how to handle this or if this is normal. How do I cope with this?
|
ptsd
|
I keep freaking out about the fact that food is just a bunch of cells. I think I am actually going insane. It makes me feel sick thinking about it - I have NEVER thought about this before and now it’s ruining my life. Can’t stop questioning how food exists and how it’s made up and how I can taste :( makes me feel like a lunatic
I fucking hate ocd. Any advice?
|
OCD
|
I've been at a new job for several months now. I have ASD, Generalized Anxiety, Depression, and Cyclothymia. Because of the size of the workforce, it's harder to get to know people. Masking (not the COVID kind) takes too much energy to be worth it, and I end up feeling like a shell of a person.
I like to be social, but too often get patronized when people sense something is slightly off. Letting people think I'm weird seems almost preferable to telling them about my ASD (it feels too personal to share, and assumptions get drawn). Wondering if it's my workplace or just working in general that is the root of the issue, and how to work on it.
|
aspergers
|
Ughh. So, I had a moment of rage the other day, literally 5 seconds, where I realized that probably my Mom was touching the packages I ordered that came in the mail and put the newly arrived packages on top of the ones I opened the day before and it pissed me off because the packages probably have all sorts of bacteria and covid on top of it crawling onto the new stuff I just bought, which was new underwear, and now the bacteria is going to contaminate my new underwear that I’m going to be wearing 😡. Granted the underwear inside little plastic bag was inside a paper bag, but bacteria can crawl in, I suppose, if left long enough. Though, the packages were so sprayed with alcohol and left by the window for 2 days.
So, having that thought while on my bed in my bedroom, I got really pissed off and hit the bed, then got up to go to the living room to remove the dirty packages on top of the brand new merchandise.
I passed by my Mom who was sitting down at the kitchen table, carefully looking at her as I was passing to make sure I didn’t hit her or passing by or something (which is another OCD thing...don’t want to accidentally harm them since they’re old and anything could be harmful at this age) and went to take off the packages from the new merchandise.
Then I passed by her again and went back in my room...then I got an OCD thought again, which is one I’ve been frequently having lately. What if in a moment of rage, I blacked out and harmed her. So I went back outside to record her with my phone to capture the moment so I’ll have something to look at as evidence for later that she’s still there lol. But then I think, what if they aren’t really my parents but like fake people put like when you reset a video game or something...(like those non-player characters in the new 2017 Jumanji movies.)
Omg!! I haven’t been out of the house since December, btw because of covid :/
|
OCD
|
I was absolutely terrified of mentioning it because I'm worried of there being stigma attached and subconscious bias, even if they can't legally discriminate. At the end of the interview, I asked how they could support me, and what resources they had. Their response was great, and I got the job!
I'm actually super excited to start, knowing my employer is willing to support me and is fully aware of my condition.
I never thought I'd be posting with this flair after the rough few months I've had, but things seem to be finally looking up!
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone else struggle with feeling comfortable in their own home? I always seem to feel a little on edge just in my home because of some germs I *might* have brought home months ago, and I've cleaned lots since then. I've avoided my public toilets since then and haven't brought any *public toilet* germs home since but I still feel sort of on edge in my own home because of *those* germs from 3 months ago, that I have now cleaned - I keep feeling like I've missed little crevices etc that tiny invisible particles from the public toilet 6 months ago *might* still be? I've cleaned as many places as I can think of but yet my brain will go "ah yes but you missed *underneath the mirror* or *the wall* or *behind/underneath the TV stand*. Yet when I go out,I don't have a problem at all, I have barely any triggers outside as long as I avoid public toilets, I'm fine. Im sometimes more comfortable out in nature or out of the flat than in it?
|
OCD
|
Just out of curiosity and and the wealth of experience and knowledge here, I’m curious how it might feel different and how you’d describe it to people.
I’m really new to meds and trying to figure out how to describe how I feel when I take them but also, clinically as a professional in mental health I never thought before about how it might feel for someone starting meds and having an understanding of how people might describe it. It is fascinating to me.
Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts with me. I truly appreciate it!
|
ADHD
|
Do you think getting a smartwatch would help stay organized and do tasks on time?
|
aspergers
|
Sometimes I feel as if I am not fully real and or my surroundings.
|
aspergers
|
how does it affect? Does it help to study for hours? Is there anyone can share their experiences with this medicine, after trying a lot of unsuccessful focus meds I'm so scared to not able to focus again, somehow concerta triggered me so much and give me a lot of unrest, I'm wondering if medikinet is gonna do the same affect or not
|
ADHD
|
I hate that my head can turn a simple situation into a doomsday scenario that requires the PERFECT response, like I'm diffusing a nuclear bomb and the world will end if I don't cut the exact wire in the exact way.
The problem? I emailed peer 1 directly last week to check in on a task we've been collaborating on. He hadn't responded yet. Task came up in conversation yesterday, and peer 2, whose new job is to coordinate between our groups, requested a chance to reach out to colleague 1 himself before I scheduled a followup. But peer 1 responds to me directly today. I want to CC peer 2 to make sure he's informed. *But then my brain starts spinning.*
\- I want peer 2 to know that I listened to him and respected it. But I don't want him to think that I'm so insecure that I had to follow up with him directly to explain myself!
\- I want him to know that I value him as a colleague. But I also want him to know that I'm still established on my own and don't need permission for every little thing that I do!
\- I don't want him to think little things like this ruffle me when they obviously (secretly) do. But I also don't want to seem unthoughtful!
\- I don't want him to think that I think he's not smart enough to look down the chain and see that this was a request made before he said anything. But I also don't know if he will or not!
\- I want him to feel addressed as a fellow peer. But I also don't want him to think that I think he's my superior!
Aaaaaand it's now been over 30 minutes since I received the email and I'm still sitting here trying to craft a response. What the fuck, brain.
​
edit: replied, OF COURSE it wasn't a big deal at all. Don't worry, this was less of a "what do I do" post and more of a "oh ADHD, you such a crazy bitch" one. :)
|
ADHD
|
I was recently diagnosed adhdpi, ive gone through many quizzes online all saying i had high symptoms corresponding with adhd.
​
I finally got a diagnosis and was officially diagnosed with adhd predominately inattentive. I just recently have started speaking with my specialist about what symptoms effect my life and she told me that since my symptoms are interfering with my live severely i could benefit from medication.
​
Even after all these quizzes and a diagnosis and speaking with a specialist i still feel like, am i really adhd or am i just lazy? and alot of it comes from me speaking with my mom about my struggling.
​
I just recently told her about the adhd diagnosis and that im getting medication and she tells me "ok good you can get medication and put all this behind you"
​
i dont like that response.
​
Everytime i tell her something im struggling with mentally she just tells me its all in my head and i need to learn to control it.
​
I have had straight Fs since like 4th grade, dropped out of highschool. She brought up the fact that when she woud get on my ass about failing my grades would then go up, but then theyd go right back down after.
​
Its just annoying that she believes that everything is all in my head and that all my problems go away with just exercising and dieting. I feel as though my mental struggles arent valid to her and its annoying to deal with someone like that.
​
i dont speak to her often because of the way that she is, and at this point debating if i should even update her on how my medications are helping me and how im doing in general.
​
Just venting tbh
​
side note: i believe my mom to be adhdpi and my dad to be adhd, my dad was able to say he could be but didnt care to get checked out cause he likes how he is.
My mom on the other hand when i bring up symptoms of her adhdpi that correspond with mine she claims that she doesnt do that or never has even though i have witnessed it.
Or goes on to say everyone does that and brushes it off.
|
ADHD
|
Answer is,i belive there is 2 types of OCD in humans;
1:The healty one: Who keeps himself distancing from others because he or she dosen't know if they have harmful dirt(bacterias,viruses) to protect whats importent for them examples;
:(their body and health,their belongins) and also have sick perfectionizm (as normies call) about what they love to do.
2:Sick one who thinks he or she has anxiety,addiction problems(masturbation is an addiction too),paronia,depression in conculusion sick one thinks he or she has a sickness that should be cured.
|
OCD
|
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