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I'm a nanny for a 9 year old. I've noticed a lot of ADHD symptoms in her and also mentioned it to her mother, but she completely shut me down. At this point, I think it would do more harm than good for everyone involved if I kept pursuing it.
That being said, I am wondering how I can be more accommodating for a child who may or may not have ADHD. This question is particularly about hyperfixations.
When she gets interested in a new TV show, it's literally all she does during her freetime. She's binge watched Friends about 3 times, she knows Sam & Cat by heart and her new big thing is Modern Family.
Should I encourage her to spread out her interests more, get her to do other things such as playing games, drawing, crafting (all things she actually enjoys) or should I just let her engage freely in her hobbies until she gets bored?
I am really sorry if anything I said is offensive, and I appreciate any input!
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ADHD
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I think I'm going crazy. I put so much effort into cultivating meaningful relationships and I don't think I receive the sane from my friends.
My circumstances aren't simple, I work on weekends and night, but I do try . When I do have a weekend off I try to organize something with friends ,, but the either leave me on read or they can't. The worse one was when they said yes but didn't talk to me fir day and they posted an ig story of them hanging out with people on the day we were supposed to hang.
I also reached out to a friend to see how she's doing , this was three weeks ago n I still had mo answer. She did sent me a video randomly , no words. I'm too bitter about it.
I was watching a video on YouTube about things people hate about modern society and one of them was that people are flaky. I felt validated at first, but now I feel hopeless. It's already hard enough making friends as an adult, now it's normal to be flaky? Fml
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ADHD
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Anyone who has overcome OCD and anxiety...do you want to chat?
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OCD
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To preface, I'm a 28 year old man and I don't think I'm in any danger of suicide or anything at this point.
I don't really know how to start this. There's no long standing trauma or anything like that, it's more just a case of me being 28, and while I've had spontaneous 1 night stands over the years, most of which I barely remember (Before covid, been about 2 years dry at this point). I've never even been on an actual date, never been in a relationship, never known what it's like to be loved in a romantic sense, or even to liked in a romantic sense. I can explain why this is the case, but it's not really too relevant to the rest of this post at the moment.
I've managed to last years with this being the case but recently I guess I just looked at my life vs the lives of my friends, and their friends and it just feels like I've been left behind. They're all in happy, fulfilling relationships, or have been going around being the ladies man for basically the whole of covid, and when I think about it probably about 3 years before that as well. I'm happy for them but whenever I hear them talk about how they can't do something because they promised they'd spend spend the night watching a film with their SO or something I just find it so hard to stand there and pretend I understand the struggle of doing something fun with someone who loves you. Must be terrible.
Salt aside, I get that if they see enough of each other they are gonna want a break every now and then, but I want a break from the opposite problem. And maybe there's problems under the surface, but fuck it give me even the surface, it's better than nothing.
I have aspergers. These days it's not all that noticable, but back when I was a kid it was very noticable. Enough that I was transfered to an all boys boarding school, which I stayed at until I was 18, after that I ended up working in IT. Where I work there are no women, so there's no meeting people at work. I hate bars and clubs because I like to talk to people and I straight up can't hear people in these places due to the music. Besides, I'm 28 now and I don't think it's appropriate for me to be hanging around 18 year old students in those places.
I've tried looking for volunteering and hobby groups and stuff. These things do exist but I don't feel comfortable using these options knowing I would actually just be using them to try to meet someone. Especially since in most of the cases I've tried I'm the youngest there by at least 10 years.
I've had no luck with online dating at all. I don't think I'm a bad looking guy to be honest. I've been told I'm handsome, which I'm happy about, but it's never easy to tell if that actually means anything. In practice I'm not handsome enough to score a match with anyone I matched with. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations, it doesn't feel that way. There is one thing that might be getting in the way though.
I have super fucked up teeth. They're straight enough but according to my dentist I had some kind or reaction to antibiotics when I was a kid that basically resulted in me having intensely brown rooted teeth for which whitening will have no effect. In theory fixing it would have been free on the nhs when I was a kid (I'm UK) but as the teeth were still growing cosmetic surgery wasn't an option apparently. So now here I am unable to afford an average smile. My muscle memory is trained now to smile only up to a certain point on my teeth. I'm terrified accidentaly smiling because I do still find things funny, but I'm constantly on edge around other people. I can't afford to fix this. There are finance options, and I think step 1 for me is going for those finance options, but it still feels so shit to have to spend £10000 just to be able to smile the same way everyone else I know can.
At this point I'm just listing reasons for the loneliness and I dunno why because that's not the point of this. My question is, is this depression? I have no idea what this is. I feel awful all the time, I'm sleeping about 12 hours a week, I have no idea what to do. I've tried the doctors but they can't see me for a few months. I've reached out to some of my family and friends and to their credit they've been very understanding. I don't think they can help with the issue, but I'm happy they haven't given me that "man up" bullshit.
I don't even know if this complies with rule 1 about the personal support request thing. Sorry if not. Everyone I know who I've teased this idea to has just said "We've all felt that way during the lockdown". It's not the lockdown.
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depression
|
I missed taking my ziprasidone and duloxetine 3 days ago. Didn’t double dose, just took my meds the next morning. Since then, it seems both meds have absolutely stopped working. I’m severely depressed, suicidal and have been considering going inpatient. I can’t handle daily life anymore.
Within these last 3 days, my son was diagnosed with autism. That’s been weighing on my mind heavily. I’m also in college and finals are all this week. This is my first ever successful try with school after 4 years of on-off enrollment. Between the two, I am the financial supporter of my family so payday (yesterday) drained me even more.
My question is this, am I having an episode or am I burned out or what? I’ve been crying more and my positive symptoms are starting to flare up, specifically those voices..
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ptsd
|
I've [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/pxhd7a/new_psychiatrist_doesnt_accept_my_previous/) a [bit](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/q48rvj/thank_you_stimulant_abusers_for_making_life_so/) before about my recent troubles in getting the medication I need to function.
tl;dr: I'd love to hear from ya'll what kind of B.S. a pharmacist has told you about your medications to avoid filling them.
I had an evaluation with a new psych that didn't go very well. He prescribed a month's worth of Vyvanse, but I did not like how he treated me so I exercised my right to a second opinion, and had an appointment with my old psych (he originally diagnosed me almost 10 years ago) the following week. The second psych was aware that I had seen the other doctor a week before, and was well aware of my body's fast processing of Vyvanse (I get about 5 hours of effectiveness a day since my liver is a BEAST). He prescribed a low booster dose (5mg) of IR dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine/Zenzedi).
Dextro is a little uncommon these days, but for those of us without physical hyperactivity, the levoamphetamine in Adderall can put us on edge all day. For anyone that isn't aware, dextroamphetamine is the same substance that Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine) creates in the liver.
Low doses of IR booster meds are also not that uncommon with people on extended release stimulants. Just because Shire markets Vyvanse as lasting up to 14 hours doesn't mean it actually does. Hell, the official Vyvanse website says you can mix it into orange juice as an alternative ingestion method when we all know citric acid can severely dampen its effects.
I'm in Texas, were we have a database of issued controlled substance prescriptions that all prescribers are required to review to make sure patients aren't double-dipping. He knew I already had some Vyvanse on hand, how many days I had left of it, and prescribed a partial month's worth of dextro to match how many days I had left of it appropriately. He didn't issue a new Vyvanse script, or give me a full month's worth of dextro. Everything was on the up-and-up, and followed state law.
CVS sat on my prescription for a full week. The status stayed in "out of stock, reordering" for a full 7 days. I went into the store after 3 days to ask about it, only to be told "yeah, we don't know when we're going to get it and can't tell you anything". I waited for a few more days, called around a few places to see if anyone had it in stock (no one did, but Walgreens told me that it's definitely orderable). I called my doctor and he cancelled the first script and issued a new one to Walgreens. Walgreens did have to order it, but got it filled in less than 48 hours.
(If a pharmacy doesn't have a controlled substance in stock, they can order it but it requires DEA paperwork to be filled out in advance, usually in the morning when the pharmacist is ordering drugs. This means that instead of a 24hr turnaround like with non-controlled medication, it's usually 48 hours assuming their supplier has it in stock.)
After doing some reading and having morning medication clarity today, I firmly believe that I was being lied to. I'm pretty sure the pharmacist saw that I had filled a Rx for Vyvanse the week prior, and was now filling a stimulant script from a different doctor a week afterwards. I understand how that looks kinda shady, but it appears that at no time did the pharmacist check the state database, try to contact my doctor, or even talk to me about it. He basically played a passive-aggressive move to avoid confronting me about it, and ignored the prescription.
Pharmacists lie all the damn time apparently, and seem to think they know better than your doctor sometimes. I'd love to hear your stories about times your pharmacist pulled some B.S. on you.
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ADHD
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15F I used to care a lot about how other people perceived me, I always thought “even though I am quiet, at least people will think I am nice if I smile a lot.” But I don’t have the energy to smile anymore.
People don’t look at me or initiate conversation with me anymore. Sometimes when they do, I don’t smile or make eye contact. they look at me funny and it makes me wanna jump off a bridge.
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depression
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I (31m) was diagnosed with combo adhd earlier this year and have gone through three non stimulants med options that didn’t help or had bad side effects. Last month I was prescribed Concerta 18mg. I have shown a marked improvement in many aspects, most importantly my anxiety is almost completely gone. But I still have symptoms that, might be reduced some, but I think are still having a negative impact on my life like poor impulse control and hyper fixation.
I go to my doctor tomorrow for the one month follow up and I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know if I want to give up something that has been very helpful for a whole month for the possibility that I might find something even better.
Has anyone been in the situation that one stimulant med worked fine and another worked great?
Would it be looked at like drug seeking behavior to ask for a dose increase?
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ADHD
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I have felt isolated since my childhood. I have OCD since I was a teenager. I fought those obsessive thoughts alone throughout life. Recently I opened up to my family about this. And I am on medication and therapy. I never talked about it to anyone before.
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OCD
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Hi everyone,
Firstly, thank you so much in advance for reading and any commentary you provide. I really appreciate it. Okay - let's dive in: I suffered from ROCD which then lead to HOCD and fatally damaged a very important romantic relationship of mine. Throughout the recovery process, I was scared of ERP, but through amazing work with a phenomenal therapist, I was able to get OCD toward a manageable state. Today, while I still have spikes every now and again, I am lucky to have the tools to know how to neutralize OCD.
I'm lucky to have gotten to this state after the critically mental state that OCD manipulates you toward. I am thankful for everything.
However, now, that I've currently been able to manage OCD, I've been left with a sense of emptiness - a sense of loss. I feel like this moment of OCD in my life changed me deeply, but i still have yet to unpack how. I'm not excited about that things I used to be pre-ocd; regardless of who deep of a passion they once where. I don't feel like I have that "spring in my step" anymore. I feel out of time - lethargic.
I will be going back to my therapist to discuss these themes more in depth after year-end, but I wanted to ask the community, has anyone ever suffered from this? I feel so lucky to get to a manageable place with OCD (especially knowing who deep of a depressive hole it can take you down) but I wonder if anyone has any thoughts around the sense of loss, sense of confusion, after managing OCD. Where you're grateful, but...off. Not quite right.
Looking forward to hearing!
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OCD
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Ik this probably isn't the right sub to ask, but whats y'alls favorite "horror, blood and gore" type anime? I don't have internet at my house (I'm way out in the cut) but what bone crunching, ear shattering anime are y'all into.
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aspergers
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I’m going through a rough time right now, and I’ll say I’m definitely deteriorating in some way or another. I’m just not sure if it’s catatonia or depression. Trust me, writing this is taking a A LOT of effort right now. My BF broke up with me a month ago and I’ve been handling it very well. I’ve been productive and getting back on track. I’ll say that my productivity has increased since the breakup. But every now and then I’ll start to feel really weird internally like a panic that was making my head feel weird. Like a mild headache? Well now, I can’t seem to be able to move at all. I’ve only been able to drink coffee and found my appetite has disappeared. I would really like to finish up a few things RN, but I cannot summon whatever to move. Can’t change positions either. It feels very difficult and my limbs feel heavy. I also have that same headache. I have noticed that talking to people has become a bit too difficult because I’m finding it harder to understand people. This started a few days ago.
I have noticed that I’ve started having recent episodes of freezing in the middle of activities and just blanking out. I think that I’ve been a bit depressed, and I think stress or whatever may have switched me to mild catatonia. Thoughts?
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aspergers
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I just spent a good 15 minutes writing about my depression and why I feel that way, then I deleted it out of fear that it would be more annoying to people than relatable. I don’t want people to think I’m seeking sympathy or something. I just want some support. My mum died 3 days before my 35th birthday in September and I’ve lived with her my entire life. So it hit me hard. And now I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt this sad and scared and alone.
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depression
|
Hi everyone!
Over the last few months, I've discovered I'm trans and my OCD reeeeally hasn't enjoyed that fact at all. I can't come out to anyone that can help cuz, apparently according to stupid brain, if anyone finds out I'm trans, bad things will happen to them and they will be really judgy and bad things will happen to me too which is always fun. I know it's not Trans OCD though cuz, if I were to choose how I looked and dressed without any opposing thought, I know what I'd pick lol. Right now, being trans and OCD are kinda feeding off themselves in making things worse: I have a bad day, dysphoria is bad. If dysphoria is bad, compulsions and thoughts arrive. It's getting annoying but, as mentioned before, I can't talk to anyone to get it actually sorted out. I'm still on the waiting list for CBT but idk what to do tbh and if they can actually help the trans part (the other OCD stuff tho, they can probably help with). Has anyone here had a similar experience? There's also the fear of reaction coming into play but, in the end, who's life is it? I've always been bad with doing what I wanna do cuz brain go brrr and I gotta do what others want so that something bad doesn't happen to them and me but idk. I've tried signing up to websites (Mermaids) but my brain stopped me at the "Personal Details" part cuz my brain is stupid. But ye, rant over thanks 4 reading, I appreciate it a lot. And any advice would be very much appreciated.
EDIT: [Yeah, coming out to parents sounds terrifying, was hoping to come out to a professional first THEN parents]
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OCD
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Told I was diagnosed ADHD when I was young. On Ritalin for about 5 years. Teacher took me off. Also, grew up in a fairly well provided but alcoholic family. Enough discord and conflict to upset and dysregulate any child. So I think either the dx was inaccurate or perhaps fabricated by parents to scapegoat effects of their emotional neglect/abuse etc. Now as 29 y.o adult I want a reassessment. Mother can't remember the psychologist and can't get contact details so I might have to be reassessed without original docs.
Wondering if anyone here has felt that their assigned diagnosis of ADHD ever felt "off" or wrong or whatever. I'm in therapy atm and I'm doing hard work in it. Curious about other peoples thoughts on false diagnoses.
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ADHD
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As the title implies...Can one be a military officer with a ptsd diagnosis, or symptoms of ptsd? Do any military officers have an experience with this? I was enlisted for 8 years, but now I am a reserve officer...and I am concerned about what it might do to my career.
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ptsd
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Hey everyone! So I live in a third world country so abuse is very common. So I currently am suffering from severe PTSD and anxiety, and mild insomnia. So there are two major events which I wanna talk about. The first one happened when I was probably 7 or 8. I was tired from a long day at school and I just wanted to sleep. So I went into my house and my father immediately started asking me questions like how was school, what did you learn, did you have a test, how much did u get, etc. So I answered him and told him at I was tired and wanted to rest. He said that I supposed to have more energy. I had a math test that day and I've never been good at it. So I'd gotten a 4/10. I showed it to my dad and he got livid and started shouting at me. I said I'm sorry and that I would try to do better next time. Of course being the sassy idiot I was, I told him that everyone else got worse marks and that he should stop picking on me. There was silence for 2 entire minutes. I ran to the room and my dad obviously got his belt. The abuse happened for 1 hour and I specifically remember screaming for help. Every time I screamed he would hit me badly. I started feeling dizzy and couldn't even stand up anymore. I begged him to stop and finally he stopped and left me in my room. I somehow struggled over to the bathroom and vomited even though I had eaten nothing in the past three hours. I don't remember much after that but I definitely blacked out on the bed. When I woke up my mom had returned from work and then SHE started yelling at me for not calling her to tell her what happened and for not locking the door and not saying no. Me, a seven year old who had no idea one could even feel such pain as I had experienced. For two weeks after that, my mom and dad never talked to each other. Now the day after the beating, I went to school and my skin was red and purple and long marks were clearly displayed everywhere. The teachers noticed and they asked me what happened I told them the whole story. What made me lose hope in my country's schooling system is that one of the teachers started laughing and said, " That's what you deserve, you study or next time he'll kill you." The school called my mother and my mother tried to explain why he did it. So I've never loved my father since then. I was seven...or eight.
The second incident was something that will haunt me for ever. I was 9 years old and my dad bought a dog. His name was Maximus and he was the finest rottie you could find. He was a very gentle dog and always comforted me. One day, he was sleeping in my dad's room. My dad wakes up at 12:00 PM in the noon. Max wanted to pee very badly and kept scratching at the room door for my father to let him out. He was 1 year old. Max couldn't hold it any longer and peed in the room. THEN, my dad woke up and hit him very badly, I begged him stop because it hurt more seeing my only friend get hit than when he hit me. Max went crazy from the pain strated running around. He hit his head very badly on the wall nearby. My mom wasn't home. She was on a business trip somewhere else. My dad announced that he was going to go buy something before that he put Max on his leash and tied the leash to the highest bar in the window so he was literally in the air hanging. Max started choking and I begged my father to let him down and that he made a mistake. My dad strictly told me not to let him down. I started crying because Max was obviously in so much pain. My dad left and I was alone in the house. One hour later, Max started coughing up blood and started passing stool and urine. He was dying. I desperately tried to remove the collar but rottweilers are very heavy dogs and it was very hard. The last words Max heard from me was, "You're gonna be fine, you're going to heaven, I'll be there for you." 😭 On September, 28th Max hung to death. I couldn't do anything. One hour later I heard my father's bike pull up and I shouted from the window, " HE'S DEAD" My father naturally didn't believe me. He went up found out and didn't even shed a tear. He just called the funeral people and they took away the body. I wanted to attend the funeral but I was 9 and my dad didn't let me. That was a long time ago. Now it's 2021 and for the first time, I talked about it to my mom. She doesn't understand. She said forget it and move on. I was the one who was whipped raw, I was the one who saw my dog hang to death. Not her. Ive never spoken about it to anyone after that.
Hope y'all are safe. Gosh I cried so hard while writing this.
Thanks for reading.
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ptsd
|
I feel so stupid. Someone had told me it was my fault for getting drunk I repressed this but remembered yesterday.... I hardly drank much it was a drug had to be. I got away. I'm so lucky I got away. I was alone at my neighbor for dinner trying to be welcoming to a foreign visa I thought his weird quirks were cultural faux pas but he ended up stalking me through my windows after and I'm lucky I don't want to think about what he would have done to me. I'm sad.
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ptsd
|
I broke up with my girlfriend a little over a year ago and I can’t stop obsessing about it. I obsess over whether or not I did the right thing, even though I think I ultimately did. I’m tormented by my obsessions, as I was when I was with her, and I recently saw she is with someone else now. I know it’s her life and I was the one who broke up with her, but my OCD with it is so bad. I just found this subreddit and I feel like I sometimes have nowhere else to go or share my OCD with anyone else. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but it is miserable. OCD is a miserable disorder and I pray for everyone with OCD
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OCD
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There is a manager where I work that no one likes and constantly asks people how they are doing, as an obviously corporate-sponsored way of showing people they care without actually caring. She asked me that one day a week ago and, being exhausted by the constant question and wanting it to stop, went over everything I could remember about my history exam the previous day and what video game references helped me remember what the answers were. It took a good 15-20 minutes. She hasn't talked to me since then.
I'm not going to say I normally keep my interests to myself, but I try to make my stories funny or interesting, and most of the time, the intended effect is achieved, or at least no harm is done. However, when I want to just annoy someone, I am going full Wikipedia article audiobook on somebody about a topic I know they couldn't care less about.
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aspergers
|
This has been a facet of my autism life experience since earliest times of my childhood. School ends on a Friday here. So on Friday has the end of the school day and week neared I'd be feeling much better as time went on. Then we'd be released from school and I was gone like a bat out of hell. Think of an F14 Tomcat being launched from an Aircraft Carrier by that catapult. SWOOSH = GONE!
Now I felt my best at 2:30 pm on Friday after we just left school. As the weekend wore on I'd feel more pensive and full of anxiety as Sunday approached. If we had to go back to school that Monday I'd be a frantic mess on Sunday Morning and in full scale depression on Sunday night because tomorrow I had to go be among the NT's in school again. I loved the learning part of school. I hated the torture by my peers and the forced socialization. Well and the noise. I hated the noise.
Even today I feel the same thing about my job yet I love my career in IT. I just dread dealing with NT people. I get a power spike of Anxiety when I leave the house as I put my socially acceptable autistic werewolf \\ human side mask on. I honestly get a bit depressed now when I go outside because people are so mean these days. Once I get to school or work I erect my defense shielding and get to it. I'm practiced at erecting barriers to keep my sanity in the NT world. I just hate using so much life energy to do it.
Today social justice movements make it everyone's job to validate other folks life choices an added stress that makes autism masking more difficult. Going out into the NT world today is often a bigger chore now than it was in the past. Validating others life choices is a new autistic masking power draining social requirement I reject. Everyone needs to learn to be self validating like me. I don't validate others I don't have that kind of excess life energy, Validating people who made special life choices is the job of their paid psychologists and psychiatrists. I'm not getting paid to validate the unique life choices of others so I seldom bother. No one can force me to validate others so it's not my problem. As my grandmother used to say, if they get mad then they have a lifetime to get glad! Not my problem!
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aspergers
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I'm diagnosed with mild ADHD, primarily inattentive, and mild anxiety.
Firstly, why does it feel that I have problems with impulsivity as well? Is it because I've been managing to keep them in check for the most part?
And more importantly, why do I have such severe procrastination problems and such, like almost failing school for not doing any homework, doing nothing at all at work for weeks at a time (it's a miracle I still have a job), when my ADHD is just "mild"?
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ADHD
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I'm wondering if anybody has taken non-stimulant ADHD medication (such as Straterra) in combination with a stimulant medication. I have been for a bit now, although my doctor was hesitant and said it is uncommon. Dr. Russell Barkley roeccomened it in one of his videos, and my doctor mentioned that SNRIs can be helpful with the "crash" some people experience with stimulants. Anybody with positive or negative experiences?
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ADHD
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​
I have music constantly playing in my head.
I first started noticed it in like second grade (around the age of 8) in class.
I can't get enough of music. I'm living it in and out (literally, lol).
The music in my head is like a radio. I can play entire albums in my head perfectly from the end to the beginning.
I can pull out entire melodies instantly just from 1 or 2 notes, or just by looking at their title. I even improvise to the melodies with instruments in my head
It makes me nod my head, I even dance to it.
It gets me so distracted from real life that I can randomly move parts of my body to the rhythm (very gentle dance just to not look crazy), or just make sounds with my teeth to the rhythm.
I feel like the side effects(like randomly dancing etc.) of it are getting wilder as I'm getting older.
I finally discovered my love for music when I was about 14.
I’m 18 by the way.
I also play the guitar, I love it, but for some reason I’m so lazy about it that I don’t even pick it up for days even if I KNOW that I have a great (very very great) feeling when I’m playing it. But it's not only with the guitar, it can be with anything.
Do any of you with ADHD have these symptoms?
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ADHD
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not sure if this is related to OCD but I have this problem where I can have something I really want to do, or I’m excited to do (watch a movie, start a project, etc) but I procrastinate starting it because I’m scared to fail or be disappointed.
for example if there’s a show that I think looks really cool and want to watch, I’ll keep putting it off because I get nervous, “what if it lets me down? maybe it’s not that good?” so I just never watch it. in a way I guess I preserve the anticipatory excitement I feel by never going through with it.
this is currently causing me distress since I bought a $300 online course four months ago and I haven’t started it due to me thinking “what if I fail? if I fail then that means I will never be good enough” :(
I know this is a pretty specific issue but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way.
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OCD
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I am taking both Concerta and Ritalin, at the start I was just using 36mg of Concerta, it didn’t really do much for me, so instead of giving me a higher dosage (56mg) they gave me 10mg of Ritalin, why is this so? What is the benefits of Ritalin as opposed to Concerta? I think I have noticed a difference in my memory (I don’t know for sure, I don’t know if it is the tablets or if it is me being used to what I am doing or if my mood was different when I was trying to memorise)
I really appreciate any replies, thanks a lot.
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ADHD
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I started prolonged exposure in therapy on Monday. Since then I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts, major depressive episodes, and bursts of aggression/anger. I've been under some stress and have been encountering sime triggers to other unrelated traumas and I'm just feeling very overwhelmed. I just want to give up. Any advice or words of encouragement? I'm pretty desperate for support.
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ptsd
|
I don’t know whether it’s the eye contact, the other persons mood or just the way my brain perceives human discourse, but I feel angry within my chest and this feeling stops me from talking to people. I want to speak to them but the thought of it makes this feeling worse.
Anyone relate?
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aspergers
|
Sometimes it feels like life is too hard, even as a kid i wanted to do something and nearly acted upon it, sometimes i regret not acting upon it, a few years ago i meet this girl who changed my whole life, she taught me how to life, taught me how to make music, draw and most importantly be kind to others.
2 years ago i lost her in a car accident, it was a horrible sight and i'm struggling to move on from that, when i was with her it felt like all my problems didn't matter because in the end, i had the one person i loved and cared about who actually loved and cared about me back.
Half a year ago i meet this girl, i slowly started to fall in love, she was kind, cute and funny.
We spent half a year together, we worked amazing, i helped her with trauma and her troubled past, because of what happened to my last girlfriend i was extra protective and wanted to make sure she was okay but not overly protective to the point where it would hinder her growth.
After all the fun stuff we did and promises she cheated on me, i poured all my love and care and she sucked off another guy, even when i tried forgiving and saying let's fix this she refused and slowly tore me down, she's currently with that guy and i nearly killed myself because i have no friends at all and no family.
what should i do? Only times i felt fine was when i had a girlfriend, nothing mattered because i knew i'd come home from a tough day and have the special someone to talk to that showed real love and care, i feel i can't trust that many people.
One and a half years ago i told some people in my class about my gf's death, they decided to tell everyone and make it seem like i faked it, i lost motivation to do anything, i can't even play my favourite games more than 4 minutes.
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depression
|
Everywhere I go I can't really escape from being on the bottom of the totem pole since it seems nearly everything operates on a hierarchical power structure. I honestly believe social capital is more important than economic capital in today's world.
|
aspergers
|
I just wanted to say hi.
I am not very talkative of my PTSD, but Im happy I found a community.
It is non-combat.
Does anyone have flashbacks, but instead of **the** event(s), it is something as simple as an embarrassing moment from the past?
Its weird, I feel like my brain got used to the pattern and has developed a muscle memory. I suppose it is better than reliving the event but it almost feels as bad and Im afraid of it snowballing to include more and more stuff.
My symptoms havent gotten worse but I live a very minimal life. Going out in public has me checking exits and examining everyone’s body language for signs of a gun, and keeping track of the trajectory of every person in my peripheral vision.
Does anyone else spend so much more time in their peripheral vision that they struggle seeing whats in front of them?
Thanks everybody
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ptsd
|
Hello I take pregabalin to reduce anxiety from ptsd and it kind of mute the emotion. The intrusive though still get a way. If I forget to take a dose, Holly hell, the anxiety is over 9000 and the thoughts is insane, I barely can go out, is that withdrawal effect of pregabalin, am I gonna be like that without it?
Also, I have trouble to believe that I have ptsd, even if my therapist said that I have almost all the symptoms, he seems to be a really trained therapist. I kind of fear leaving without it because I don't remember how to, is that common? Thx
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ptsd
|
I'm 18 (M), I keep dreaming about a girl that rejected me I still have hope left that we'll be together which i'm sure 100% we won't, It just i can't move on I tried talking to other girls but they all rejected me, I don't even fucking understand I just want to move on and stop loving girls I wanted a girl to lift me off depression but it seems it got worser ironically, Please guys help me move on from the girl who rejected me
📷
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depression
|
They diagnosed me with adhd a couple of days ago. I had no clue. For all of my life people called me lazy, dumb, unmotivated. I’ve always had problems with academic performance. Now all of this just feels depressing. I realized that I’m mentally ill. That being “lazy” is actually not my fault. That people who told me those things are wrong. But here’s the thing. When I didn’t know I have adhd I felt normal. Like there’s nothing wrong with me. Like I can change things, I can change my attitude, I can do anything if I want. Now it feels like I can’t. I can’t have control over my own life when I don’t take medication. And since I live in Russia we don’t have stimulants here like Ritalin etc, it’s illegal and you can get those only by a dealer or whatever, which means
1. It’s dangerous cause I don’t wanna go to jail
2. You can’t really say if this medication is original or has a lot of dangerous additives going on.
I started taking Strattera since it’s legal here but we all know that it’s not as effective plus you need to wait for a couple of weeks. I’m not quite sure if it works. I started to feel sleepy and nauseous all the time but do I feel different? Idk. So depressing to me that I have to wait for so many time for this to work or not to work and spend loads of money cause strattera is hella expensive here. Uni semester is almost over and I have a lot to do. I’m jealous of people around me. I’m jealous of my friends. I’m jealous of people from my classes. They can have normal life, they can study and be successful. They have the ability to make their dreams come true and those aren’t hyperfixations. I thought I can be like them too, but my brain won’t let me. Maybe I’m just being dramatic but that’s how I feel. I feel like I’m disabled
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ADHD
|
I currently have a PowerPoint presentation and test for math that I need to do. I’ve been doing quite a bit of work today but I have absolutely no motivation to do either assignments. Both of these assignments will have a huge impact on my grades. Does anyone have any good advice so I have motivation to complete my assignments?
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ADHD
|
I’ve heard that memory problems can be a side effect of trauma and PTSD. And it’s infuriating. I need everything repeated, I can’t remember dates for the life of me, and I can’t remember half of high school. And the hs experiences I do remember are out of order. I have almost no timeline for them. The worst part is that I’ve literally forgotten what my friends face looked like. And there’s a high likelihood that Ill never see it again because he died years ago and I’m not in contact with his family and all the pictures I had of him were either lost or ruined when my apartment flooded. I can’t remember my best friends face.
It feels like a nightmare. I can’t remember the good or neutral things but the bad memories never go away.
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ptsd
|
I recently had to fire my therapist and I need to find a new one. For the last two decades, I've tried pretty much every course of treatment (EMDR, meds, CBT, DBT, hospitalization, suppressing with drugs/alcohol). One thing I've not tried is somatic therapy and was wondering if anyone had experience with it.
Previously I've approached my trauma and mental illness with an inside out approach. I heal the emotions, I heal the effects it ravages on my body. But somatic therapy is sort of the opposite I think. Dealing with the body and how it relates to the mind. Not the other way around. EMDR is a type of somatic therapy I think and I've had great success with that, though it's utterly exhausting.
Anyway, would love to check in with anyone who's done this type of therapy.
|
ptsd
|
Hello, everyone.
Just a thing I was wondering if anyone else could relate to, I guess. Ever since I got cPTSD, I have a hard time remembering the day prior, but especially nights. It takes me hours to recall what I did or who I was with, or where I was. I know that I dissociate a lot, but I don’t know if if I’ve just been dissociating so often that I’m just doing it all the time now, or is it something else ?? Sorry, this is a pretty minor dumb thing to post about on here, but I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this ?
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ptsd
|
I'm sorry if this is too much to read, but I really need help.
As far back as I can remember, I've never felt secure. For some background, my sister, who was ten years my senior, was a heroine addict who slept with men for drug money when she was babysitting me. Growing up, she would shower me with love and make promises to stay with me just to disappear for months at a time. As a child, I craved her attention and my heart broke every time she left. By 20, i watched her deteriorate physically and mentally and whatever relationship that we had was gone.
My mother did her best to love me, but my sister's behavior constantly required my parent's attention. My father was neglectdul and would occasionally rampage about the house, screaming and shouting and throwing things out of anger. I always did my best to behave and do well but obviously my grades suffered, as did my self-esteem. I developed crippling social anxiety and keeping friends was difficult. This is still the case.
My father died suddenly a few years ago and one year later I lost my sister. I still don't know how to handle this, as they both died before anything was resolved. Since, I've left my controlling fiancee (also horrible, but a different story) , lost my childhood home, and more recently almost died from a blood clot that was caused by my birth control. I've had maybe one year between each horrible experience, and I have a difficult time coping. Aside from my boyfriemd, my oldest sister hates me (for reasons beyond my control) and mom is too trumatized to discuss the events...so I have little support. I'm wondering if this sounds like something that could cause cptsd or ptsd. In addition to anxiety, I have a difficult time remembering significant portions of my life. Connecting deeply with people is nearly impossible despite how hard i try, something in me just won't trust and it's horrible. I can't even enjoy tv shows, video games, or join any group because i have this strange voice in my head that tells me that I'm unwelcome- it's not here for me. I can't join. It's bizarre.
Luckily, I've managed to get my degree and work toward my second, find a wonderful and loving boyfriend and home, and keep a steady job. I'm relatively popular but can't seem to get close enough to call most of my associates friends. It's a daily struggle.
What does this sound like to you? Thanks all.
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ptsd
|
Hello! I've been going through these long periods of feeling extremely burnt out and under stimulated. Idk if that's the right word, but I can't focus on anything (it's gotten so bad I can barely focus on tik tok).
This sucks extra hard b/c I finally have a few extra minutes to work on my hobby and I just have nothing, no ideas. Which feels wild cause I have all this energy and motivation but nothing to act on.
The body is willing but the mind is weak. Do you know any exercises or have any tips so I can stop feeling like this?
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ADHD
|
# Introduction
Hi, I am a 18 year old male was recently diagnosed with ADHD back in late August of this year. Since then, a lot of my recent behaviors in life have started to make more sense. Before all of this with the ADHD though, I had been going through a very rough battle with depression and anxiety since September of 2020. I definitely feel better now, but I feel like I am not getting the treatment I should be getting, and a lot of that is my own fault.
# My Experience with ADHD
As a said before, once I was diagnosed with ADHD a lot of my behaviors and past habits started to make more sense.
Some of these habits are:
· Laziness:
Throughout my life, I have always been a lazy person, even though I was less lazy than others which was mostly due to how I was raised. My parents wanted me to succeed which is fine, but it ended up creating a lot of pressure for me and it made me feel like school was life or death and that if I didn’t do everything right, I’d end up being a disappointment. Of course, this mindset was not explicitly imposed on me by my parents, but mostly by myself and how I interpreted what it is that my parents wanted for me. So although I definitely am lazy, I am barely lazy for school. The problem with this is that anything else in my life I start to treat like a something that doesn’t really matter much. I don’t really feel like pursuing things that I really have an interest in, I don’t really think I need to learn how to do this or that, I don’t want to have to spend time with family and friends sometimes, because it doesn’t have to do with school.
· Lying
I lie a lot. As a kid, I would make up big lies. Slowly that has diminished into smaller lies that don’t really have much impact, but I still lie. “Did you brush your teeth?", “Did you clean your room?”, “Did you put on deodorant?”, “Did you call so and so for this and that?”. I would yes to that even though I didn’t and it still happens to this day. I struggle to brush my teeth daily, or clean my room, or put on deodorant, or take a shower and I absolutely hate it, but I can’t stop myself from lying about it.
· Fear of rejection
I have an extreme anxiety when it comes to anything related to the people I care most about. I feel that everything I am doing is never enough and that they all secretly don’t appreciate me at times. I feel like I should always do more, but when I actually do more, I am never satisfied with the outcome and makes me rethink whether they appreciate me or not. It’s a real struggle too, because now that I have a girlfriend, I want to be the best I can be, but I don’t want to drag her into my emotional struggles which is a major part of why I am making this post.
· Trouble explaining myself
This is possibly my most annoying quality that I have to deal with. This has been around since forever really. Trying to explain to my parents why I wanted to buy this thing, but never having the information come across as I would like. Wanting to explain my passion for a hobby, but not being able to coherently explain it is extremely frustrating. The moments where this affects me the most, is in my therapy sessions. I want to and have tried to explain how bad my situation is, but I can’t seem to reach them the way I want to. For example, recently, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist where I wanted to explain to her what I was feeling at the time (which I will get to later). The goal with this was to get her to understand that I needed a different type of treatment. What I mean by this is that I didn’t feel that my depression and anxiety medications were helping me the way they should and that I needed actual medication for my ADHD rather than having behavioral strategies that I would end up giving up within a few days just to move on to another. No matter how much I tried, I felt like I couldn’t explain myself well enough for her to understand what I wanted which ended up in her not changing anything about my treatment and instead just giving me more strategies to play around with.
· Forget things really easy
Pretty self-explanatory
# What I am Feeling Right Now
This is what I need help with and what I have tried to get help with for a long time.
I feel trapped in my own mind. I don’t feel like I have the ability to control it well enough for me to do the things I actually want to do in my life.
My symptoms of depression and anxiety have lessened, but only to the point where I feel like it’s a ticking time bomb in the sense that if anything remotely negative were to happen for me, I end up back where I started.
I don’t feel like doing anything if it doesn’t affect my grades. This makes me not want to pursue anything new or dive deeper into things that I am already interested in.
I feel that my personality has diminished since I fear rejection from everyone around me and am constantly thinking about what they think without ever trying to push out those thoughts.
I don’t feel like writing this anymore, because I fear that you might misunderstand it like many others have. (Props to you if you don’t though)
#
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ADHD
|
So my trauma has been giving me so many issues. I desperately don’t want to hold onto it anymore. Today I managed to make everyone upset during Thanksgiving because of it, and I am tired of hurting the people I love. It’s especially hard because no one seems to understand that my reaction is involuntary. I guess my parents keep trying to help me through their own experience, but maybe my ptsd somehow runs deeper? My mom also has ptsd from her childhood, and although it was different, it was a similar situation to mine. I guess she was shocked by my reaction today, as she seemed very upset when she talked to me about it, and it’s now made me realize how much it can /hurt/ people to have this disorder. From her perspective, she’s watching me go down a bit of a downward spiral, and I don’t want her to have to witness that anymore. It feels like I have it under control but it always comes back to help me realize that I am completely not in control. This is where the question comes in; should I get a specialized professional involved? There’s nothing wrong with my current therapist, it’s just that I guess I’ve felt no improvement or enlightenment about my trauma since I first started talking to her, which was at least 6 months ago. I don’t know how equipped she is to help my specific issues at all, I just know that she specializes in kids my age and is very well-known with helping families. I will eventually talk to her about it but I also wanted to hear different opinions. I’m scared of switching because my therapist has genuinely helped me in a lot of ways, but just not in the major issues I have, and I feel as if my reactions are getting even worse.
TLDR: In order to become detraumatized, should I switch from my current therapist to a trauma specialist?
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ptsd
|
Hi. Probably lot of people already posted something similiar, but I still need to vent somewhere. I never really talked about it with anyone, but when my parents were divorcing I was 8 years old. Too young to understand the whole situation and too old to forget it. At the time my mom was a alcoholic with angre problems. She always thought that dad was cheating, but he never did. My older brother and my uncle confirmed me that. One night my mother snapped and started beating the shit out of my dad. I was just sitting on the floor crying while watching it all. My dad didn't defend himself, because even after all that was happening he still cared for her. Often she came home drunk and was just lying almost naked on the sofa. My brother had to comfort me often and many Times even take me from the house for some time.
After the divorce I stayed with my mom, because brother stayed with dad and I felt sad for her. Another year was pretty much the same like with dad. She found a great guy, that is like a Best friend for me, but that didn't stop her from doing the same shit. After 4 year thing finally calmed down with her and as she is right now. That is the person I can actually call a good mother. Everything is okay right now, but I will never forget the thing I had to see. If someone actually reads all this, thank you. If someone has similiar experience, how did you deal with it?
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ptsd
|
Hello.
I'm very new to this and I have not been diagnosed with Asperger. But I friend told me he think I have it, and I must say I'm pretty surprised by my personal relation to the symptoms.
These last few days I've just been thinking that in a way it's really nice to know because then I might be able to backtrack my ups and downs a bit and rationalize to why things might have happened the way they did.
So how was your experience finding out? Did you feel relieved because some things in your personal life made more sense? Or did you feel like the diagnose 'trapped' you in / labelled you in a way ... ?
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aspergers
|
I’ve been on adhd medication for around 14 years and I’m noticing as I get older I’m increasingly becoming more paranoid and anxious. Would this medication be contributing to this? I know my thoughts are illogical but I still am very fearful. It was a lot different when I was younger. Has anyone stopped their medication and noticed it improved anxiety, paranoia, and rumination? Thanks!
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ADHD
|
I don’t mean when I actually have to multi task, just when I have enough things on my to-do list to bounce around between them all instead of needing to focus on completing one specific task. To me, the latter feels more daunting than a little bit of a lot of different work. Maybe because with different work to do I can switch around but still feel like I’m making progress? Idk. Newly diagnosed adult here...
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ADHD
|
Does anyone else see their ocd as one never-ending and traumatising game of whack-a-mole where compulsions and obsessions keep switching out the second you overcome them? Idk I feel like it’s a fun way of viewing this awful disorder
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OCD
|
Ok so growing up my entire life I always had the personality of the stereotypical ADHD kid. But I even though I always procrastinated and struggles with school work I always eventually got it done and did very well in school. Doing well in school is probably why my parents never thought I might have ADHD.
Now i’m in college and being on my own and having responsibilities is causing actual impacts on my life. I can’t keep track of my classes, my room is always a mess despite regularly cleaning it (sorry roommate), I rarely can find the motivation to do homework unless it’s something interesting like my comp sci courses in which i sometimes just get in the zone and finish. Not sure if this is an adhd thing but simply cannot find anything to do for fun. Instead I get like 5 minutes in to 20 netflix shows but never watch them, start like 10 coding projects for 20 minutes, or start a video game for 15 min. Nothing can hold my interest. Speaking of forgetting literally just remembered as i’m writing this i did not do an econ assignment i’ve had a week to do. 🤷♂️
Do you guys think going to get checked for ADHD is a good idea? If so where do I go/do? My school? Or an outside doctor. Also frankly what do i say? I feel like going in and saying I have ADHD to a doctor won’t get you taken seriously especially at my age.
Any advice would be helpful.
Edit: tldr. How and who should I approach to be taken seriously. I feel like the school psychologist would instantly shut me down thinking i’m just seeking drugs. As far as outside doctors i’m in a completely new town so don’t have a doctor or anything. My parents most likely won’t be on board if I said I want to be tested for adhd. I’m wondering if i should just get a therapist (which my parents would do) and just let the therapist come to the conclusion by me explaining my struggles.
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ADHD
|
To my knowledge, I have not met someone in real life who also has OCD. I feel like it might be helpful for the sake of social support, and to feel a bit less isolated.
There are a few therapy groups out there, but I am seeking a socially-focused, more casual setting rather than a clinical one. I've thought about going to the OCD Foundation meetup, but it changes location each year, costs a lot, and might be geared more towards healthcare workers.
So, is there a way I could go about meeting others with OCD? Or, how did you meet your friend who also has OCD? (I live near Seattle, if it helps.) Many thanks!
|
OCD
|
I want to die. I'm so tired in life. People keep on saying life will get better but I've been waiting for 10 years and everything is just getting worse. While looking at other people, I see others getting better but there are others who do not.
I'm tired.. I wish I could get a really good rest in this world full of suffering. :)
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depression
|
Here are some weird specific things I feel:
* I relate to teen movies/angst a lot even though I'm 23.
* I have this feeling of being unsure, so I end up oversharing and feeling REALLY at the edge of my seat, and when people disagree with me I feel anxious. And it might trigger the start of a panic attack. Which is nonsensical.
* I feel like a rebel when I make decisions without consulting anyone. I feel guilty and like a rebel even though I don't actually do anything rebellious.
* I also feel like a teenager more now than when I was actually a teen. (I'm 23) I have more liberty now, live by myself. But I feel like I'm always behind on my age. Like, if I were 16 with this mind I have NOW, I would make better decisions. Recent trauma between the ages of 21 until now also helped a lot me feeling this way. I mean real trauma. I don't exaggerate. I started to spiral and it's hard to stop.
* Maybe I feel my age? But I'm an artist (writer), so I'm not the "serious doctor" type of person.
* I am afraid of being treated like an adult because I don't feel ready :( I feel embarrassed when I act young though. Like I'm not allowed anymore.
* I really want yellow all stars. REALLY want them. But they're expensive and it seems very irresponsible to waste money on them. But I want them so much. But would I even be brave enough to wear them?
Words fly,
Worlds die,
in the little moments you ignore,
the little things you leave behind,
the dreams you leave on the pillow,
every night.
*(I wrote this)*
|
ADHD
|
What do you guys think?
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/pc195d)
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OCD
|
Boredom is always the most painful and crushing symptom of my depression.
I want to fucking explode and scream in a forest while getting hunted by bears or rob a bank or just have a truck load full of adrenaline rushing through my body so desperately. I'm angry and I'm tired of being stuck in this rat race: work, sleep, work, sleep. They try to drug us with junk food, games, Netflix and I admit, I'm a victim of all three. They give me this temporary illusion of life being fine but when the dopamine high is over, I'm back to reality.
Who else feels like that? Who else wants to scream? Do you have any plans to escape this?
Ive been bored for over 14 years now. The most exciting moments I had was when I did "forbidden" things or some light crime.
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depression
|
So, if you've read any other post of mine on this sub you know that I suffer from false memory OCD. As much as I try, a part of me still believes they actually happened. I feel like such a monster. I watch a TV show I am really invested in and I wonder "would the protagonist be forgiven if he did such a thing? Would the characters accept me if I did that? No, of course they wouldn't, no one would. I am the lowest of the low."
|
OCD
|
My psychiatrist and I have been searching for a stimulant that would work for me, and it’s been difficult. I have mild Tourette’s and issues with an anxiety disorder, which I hear could get worse with stimulants, and I’ve been paranoid about taking new medications in general since I’m already on 50mg of Zoloft.
Does anyone have any suggestions or recommendations? Is anybody facing a similar situation?
|
ADHD
|
I know ADHD people often have songs playing in the background of their head. I have one right meow, but I am not going to say because I don’t want to mess with your vibe.
If you can’t remember to song name, just write the lyrics, or attempt to write the beat (good luck), then we can try to help each other find the missing song.
Anyways what’s going through your head right now?
(Please see profile for more ADHD questions :)
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ADHD
|
My parents are gonna take me to the psyc which means I'm gonna get help for my ADHD but I'm holding on a string because I'm in a good school and I'm about to fail and if I fail they are gonna take me out of that school and my future will probably be messed up I have to hand in a whole period of works and homeworks in 2 days wish me luck and also if anyone wants me to respond to your comments I probably won't be able to because they are taking my phone away as a punishment which I guess is fair but holy chirst I'm scared of not being able to hand in all of this work lol
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ADHD
|
Disclaimer: I am on a waiting list to be assessed for ADHD, so it's not something I have a diagnosis for, but my symptoms fit well enough for my GP to refer me for assessment and from things I've read, I feel that it is likely I have ADHD.
I was telling my Mum today how I just can't concentrate and how disruptive it is and I mentioned that I am waiting for an assessment for ADHD. My Mum used to be a teaching assistant which included supporting students with ADHD, but she doesn't believe ADHD actually exists and is actually just an excuse that parents use for naughty children.
She then said that I'm not hyperactive, and if anything I'm really slow. I explained that my brain is going at a million miles per hour and all my energy is in there and I don't even realise that my body isn't matching the internal chaos. As soon as I said this, she said "oh, well that's what your Dad says when his bipolar is getting bad. Are you sure you don't have bipolar?"
And it's got me wondering. Is there a lot of cross over between the two? Genetically I guess it would be more likely for me to have bipolar as my Dad has it and nobody in my family has been diagnosed with ADHD.
Just wondered what people's thoughts are or if people have experience of the two.
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ADHD
|
My wife has ADHD and I think RSD. To sum it into a nutshell, I spent the first 7 years of our marriage criticized, ignored, not heard, and not supported. I knew there were issues so I continued to fully support her and do what I could in that time. I offered counseling (even towards the beginning) but that was never an option.
A year ago, I broke. I brought up the issues head on. She asked me why I never brought the issues up before. I explained that I did so many times over the years, but in more passive ways (but still direct). The conversation started to get serious at this point. I suggested couples counseling but she was not willing. We exchanged suggestions of what each person needs. Over the next months, I really did try.
About 5 months ago, there was no change since our first discussion. We talked again and things were getting more serious. It pretty much came down to an ultimatum. At first she agreed to counseling, then said “let me work on it myself first.” I was soft and said ok. She actually did start to make some progress but the at the beginning of this month, I cracked. Harder than I ever did. Unfortunately it was on our anniversary (which we both completely forgot about) but that didn’t seem to matter regarding the conversation. It was bottom of the 9th and she needed about 2 grand slams and then a few runs in order to meet me where I was at. It wasn’t until this point that she “woke up.” She recognized everything and was willing to be proactive in changing it all. Even work on the relationship she seemed to sabotage with my family (who always fully supported her). She now longs for my love as I did for all those years. But the effects of feeling neglected have made a big impact on me.
After this discussion, I was very angry. Why did she have to wait until such extremely measures to see me? Anyways, the anger has subsided. My feelings are still alive elsewhere (meaning I feel joy and contentment within other people and things) but I feel as though I have flatlined with her. Now she is doing everything she never did but had always needed her to do, but it doesn’t phase me. I now feel exactly how I perceive she felt for eight years of our marriage. I have also been wanting “out” for a long time. For at least four or five years now, I have had a feeling I n the back of my head where I kind of wished something bad to happen to me like an accident or a sickness as a weak-man’s way to get out.
There is a lot at stake. We have two kids. One of which has been living with us for over two years now and we just adopted last month. She also has some emotional needs of her own. We also own a house and co-own a small business (even though I work a full time job).
I’m willing to just do “this” every day for our kids’ sake, but will I always be this way? Is it wrong to call it quits?
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ADHD
|
Has anyone had any luck with those online "teledoc" services that claim they can diagnose and treat ADHD? My insurance does not cover full evaluations and I've been taking vyvanse for years without an official diagnosis. My insurance is changing soon and I figured securing a diagnosis and refill method online would be easier for my busy schedule. I'd love to hear your experiences/recs if you have any!
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ADHD
|
We’ve been together for 4 years over ups and downs, rough times and great times, but her OCD has been relatively manageable overall. But in January by a crazy twist of fate one of her worst “irrational” fears came true: a golf ball sized bacterial brain abscess formed in her brain out of nowhere. She had to get 2 brain surgeries and a heart surgery (partially related but long story).
Thankfully her physical recovery has been amazing, more than we could’ve ever hoped for. But it’s taken a huge toll on her mental health. She’s in an extremely dark place with just no sense of hope. All her sense of safety in the world seems to be gone, and the worst parts of her OCD are getting really bad. She’s spending time with her family out of state she hasn’t seen since before the pandemic, which I think has been nice in a lot of ways, but in some ways her family can be tough to be around. Also, the stresses since January on both of us have strained our relationship to an extent so I’m trying to give her space but want to be supportive in any way I can.
I would love to hear any advice on how I can support someone with OCD and provide any stability I can while not imposing myself too much. Thanks!
tl;dr my partner has been through some really difficult things this year, she needs some space but I want to be as helpful and supportive as possible from afar
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OCD
|
So yesterday all of the sudden I started to get a thoughts like “ am I trans” or “am I non binary. These happens very sudden as my whole life I’ve been very confident that I was a guy. In the past I have had some problems with ocd, like I just got over HOCD, and 2 moths ago I think as having ocd about hair loss. Note that none of these have been professionally diagnosed ocd, but I got over them like it was just a phase. I also did research about ocd and this is sounding a bit like it.
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OCD
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Hello everyone, I'm due to fly back home to see my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas from college and I'm EXTREMELY wracked with stress by the idea even though I'm not actually supposed to leave until Sunday..
For backstory I've flown back home a good handful of times this year and somehow the past 4 out of those managed to be agonizingly awful due to a mix of horrible executive dysfunction and coincidentally shitty luck.
To make matters worse, I've been stopped by TSA almost every time and the anxiety of everything going wrong the way it's happened before has got me to the point where I just stayed up all night because my mom started sending me the info I need to get to the airport, ect. From there the spiral just got worse.
I'm not sure what to do. I hate this disorder and I despise TSA even more. every time I see those rancid three letters as of now it makes me physically fearful to the point of sobbing. It's just become so stressful that I really never want to fly again...and I don't know how to handle it.
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ADHD
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r/autistic4autistic is a place to meet other autistic people for friendship, relationships, support, and more!
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aspergers
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I feel like I'm a "hypochondriac" and my OCD brain then scolds me for "wanting an illness". It's like I cant win. My OCD tells me I have cancer because of (insert symptom here) and then making fun of me for being afraid. OCD is so mean!!!
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OCD
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(TW: sexual assault)
I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 years ago after a sexual assault. As time went on, I have recovered from many of my more severe symptoms.
However, I still have some significant issues with hypersexuality at times that can lead me into very unsafe situations, as well as endangering the relationship that I’ve been in for the past 5 years.
I was wondering if anyone has tried going to a sex addiction support group to get help with issues relating to hypersexuality, and if it was any help. I know that sex addiction isn’t recognized as a proper disorder by the APA and there isn’t any official treatment, but I feel like a lot of my issues with hypersexuality fall under the umbrella of sex addiction.
So if anyone else here has tried going to a support group, did you find it helpful?
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ptsd
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Want to point out at the start that it's not really an eating disorder per se, it is more of a laziness thing, and was hoping for some advice on how to fix the issue. Also want to note that I have recently got on Vyvanse but the same thing happened last year when I moved out, I just didn't stay at my University much cause of covid. It also happens on the days I don't take it so I don't really think it's the meds. Anyways, I moved out for college and I'm not really eating. I'm losing weight fast and I hate it. I'm an active guy and have always been pretty well built and it's making me lose a lot of that frame. It's at the point where I have stopped eating nearly entirely. I have 1 meal a day and it's starting to get hard to swallow foods because my stomach shrank so much and it makes me nauseous. It is getting a little bit scary. THC seems to help a bit but that's not very healthy. I think I need easy, healthy, and light foods until my stomach are fixed and back to normal. Anyone got any good receipts to send my way. Any advice helps in the situation. Right now id say I'm eating under 1000 calories a day and as a 6-foot 180-pound guy that really does not cut it. I'm a little bit worried about my health and honestly, I can't afford to get off the Vyvanse with school. It would probably get a bit better if I got off it but nothing too significant because like I said it happened before I had tried Vyvanse and on days I don't take it.
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ADHD
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I've struggled with symptoms of OCD for as long as I can remember, but until recently, I was so used to it I was mostly about to ignore it to the point where I didn't realize it was a problem. Recently, it's evolved into mostly being ROCD-focused and has become distressing to a degree where I had to admit there was a problem. For three and a half months, it has been taking over my life, making me alternate between periods of starving myself enough to lose 5 pounds overnight and keep dropping weight and binging until I'm so full of hurts. I've had suicidal thoughts nearly every day for three months.
But then I started researching OCD as a possible diagnosis, and now I have a strange new obsession: that I will always be thinking, and that I will always be aware of the fact that I am thinking. All day, when I'm trying to experience my life, I have this thought in the back of my mind: I'm thinking right now. I know I'm thinking. For my whole life, I will never be able to think without being aware of the fact that I am thinking. I think this evolved as a result of always being aware of other obsessions and now has become an obsession in itself, similar to hyper awareness OCD like being aware of blinking or swallowing. Thinking that I will always be conscious of thinking, that I will never be able to fully experience my life in the moment without analysis—it's made me feel suicidal. Has anyone else experienced this?
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OCD
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Hello! I just recently got my diagnosis and haven’t started any therapy or medication yet. But I noticed that although starting tasks is a real struggle, it’s 100x harder to finish them. For example, I’m in college so I have a lot of readings/papers. When I’m able to force my self to get started, I can fall into a little stretch of hyper focus; however, once I get to that final stretch of the assignment, I completely check out. By the end, it feels like actual torture trying to finish it.
How the heck do you get yourself to finish things that you started once you’re at the finish line?!
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ADHD
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After 8 LONG years & after 4 months of medication, my OCD is gone. Oh my goodness does this feel AMAZING. Praying for everybody else trying to win, you will
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OCD
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This is getting out of hand. I now have high cholesterol. I'm like 20lbs overweight. I dont want to track what I'm eating because I just dont want to focus on that. It gets depressing. But then just gaining weight is depressing as well. But when I'm not eating my brain is just going and going and I want to shut it off. But I'm trying to not drink or do drugs. I can't run because my brain just obsesses over shit. I need help.
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OCD
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I’m nervous but I know this is my next step to recovery and feeling like myself.
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OCD
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I keep feel that God tells me there is going to be a specific "thing" somewhere, and then that thing shows up when I look.
Once I was in a library and then I felt that something about God and/or the Bible was going to be inside the open encyclopedia/dictionary and when I looked it said the word Sabbath. Or when reading the Bible I said to myself (or whatever happened) that Jesus was going to say He's God (and probably that I was going to keep believing keep if it did), and Jesus did say that when I read further.
But I think I also do this and nothing happens, maybe even most of the time nothing comes up, but I forget since I'm not very fixated on it. Is this a thing that people do?
I was thinking about forgoing anything that was about coincidence. But that night I was watching a show and I noticed how many coincidences happen in that show. Then I character in it said something was not a coincidence. During same night I was thinking about this, it felt liked I was stopped from giving it up. Although I have been thinking about forgoing coincidence for a while, but I was more serious about it this night then ever before.
Yesterday noticed coincidence written/said at least 2 or three times. Then I was reading comments online when I thought that one would be about coincidence. I kind of gave up fighting it and was basically or even literally like "it really is going to be about coincidence isn't it". When I read it, it was in a way (it asked if there was a connection between things they noticed that are similar, so the other option would be its a coincidence). This time strikes me as more serious because I consciously kind of gave up fighting it and just looking to see. Even though I think I give in a lot, and look to see if I'm right. But not to that point where I'm just like "alright, this is going to be about coincidence isn't it". But its hard to tell since I might forget a lot of the times. Maybe I do go that far a lot but just forget (I don't think so though).
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OCD
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TW
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.I'm only 15 and I have done evil things. Mostly when I was younger. I don't deserve to live. I feel like the only way out of the pain is to kill myself because evil people don't deserve to be alive. I'd never do anything bad again, I promise, I know I wouldn't. I didn't understand why things were so bad for me to do back then. I deserve to die a violent and painful death. I just wish I was never born and I hope I die soon.
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OCD
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AutisticAdults/comments/mjfs0o/functioning_quite_okay_as_a_recently_official/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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aspergers
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TRIGGER WARNINGS: rape, child molestation/rape/sexual assault, threatening, manipulation, intoxication
I should start with the fact that I haven’t been officially diagnosed with PTSD. I do have depression and anxiety, and plan on starting therapy hopefully in the new year and talking to a qualified specialist then about all of this for a diagnosis.
Also I’m on mobile, English is my fluent language, go easy on my feelers if I make a grammar mistake please.
Long story, bear with me. TL;DR down below.
Names, apps, and locations have been altered because I’m still in fear of retaliation. Ages have not been altered.
——————————————————————————
The Story/Background.
When I was 13, I was on an app called Cool!. Back then, Cool! had an in-app webpage thing where you could connect with people in your area.
My username attracted interesting people, my abuser (we’ll call him Bryce) being one of them. He contacted me first, and I engaged in conversation with him a lot. I told him I was 18, but once we met it was obvious I wasn’t and I told him the truth. He said he didn’t care though, he said I acted mature for my age. He was 36 at the time. When we met, we agreed to meet one evening in a little sort of park area in my neighborhood. It was a private corner behind some tennis courts, so no one was really going to bother us. We sat in the grass and talked, he put his arm around me, and eventually before I had to go back home he got me back into one of the hidden corners of the park and pulled my pants down. I let him do it. I didnt fight back.
After that, we still talked through Cool! and through various encrypted apps. As it progressed, he would be picking me up after school, taking me to his apartment, we would get high or drunk and have sex. Then he would take me home right when I asked him to. He was always good about getting me home on time, except for a few circumstances. That lasted for about a year. He didn’t have a job, and he had pit bulls he refused to get rid of, so he got kicked out of his apartments and packed his stuff and went home to Oregon for a while.
He eventually came back to New Mexico and lived with friends, but ended up going back and forth between New Mexico and Oregon. His ex got ahold of one of his dogs at this point, and he had to give one up to the pound. He only had one left that he took with him wherever he went. I loved that dog. We were sneaking around then, since he didn’t live without roommates. Usually all we did was just get rooms at various cheap motels because that’s what I was, for whatever reason, comfortable with.
After the second or third time he had to go back to Oregon, we stopped going to motels and he would just take me out by the lake or into the desert and pull off where there wasn’t really anybody and we’d have sex in the back of his car. One time, his car got stuck in a ditch along a desert highway, and it was too close to my curfew. I was in a dress, but I decided to just hitch hike and hope someone would come along and take me home. Thankfully, a mountain biker came around and went to get his truck. He brought me home, and I was safe. I realize how much more dangerous that could’ve been, but I got lucky to live in a place highly populated by religious peoples.
Bryce and I fought over the fact that I ditched him there, but it wasn’t anything new really. We fought a lot and it wasn’t the first time. I slapped him a few times and he got extremely angry with me but he never hit me back. It was scary though. His angry face scared me. He would go weeks at a time without talking to me, just ghosting me and then all of a sudden popping back up with a “hi” text. I was always stupid enough to reply to his texts right away, but I knew if I didn’t he would just get angry with me.
In summer a few years after we met, I hung out with a new friend group, and they made me actually happy. I had met someone there that actually treated me decently. I officially broke up with Bryce in early August, even though for months leading up to that I made it very clear I was uninterested, I no longer wanted sex so everything done was nonconsensual. From there, things just got worse.
He threatened me, would create fake phone numbers just to text me horrible things, faked a suicide on the phone with me, and guilt tripped and manipulated me. I changed my number at least three times, and eventually gave up and got a new phone completely, but he still got it through someone we knew mutually and texted me. I gave up, and kept him unblocked only because it was easier than blocking six numbers a day. It was minimal contact actually, maybe once every few months after awhile, and he continued to manipulate me when he did contact me.
A few weeks ago, he called me in tears telling me he’s going to show me why I should’ve cared about him, etc etc, saying he’s going to kill himself and it’s my fault. I told him I didn’t believe him, and he wasn’t going to find any sympathy from me because he was constantly pulling guilt trips like this, saying he was going to kill himself. I blocked him and he hasn’t tried to contact me since. It shook me up though, and I decided I should just come clean to authorities about the entire thing sooner rather than later.
The whole thing since I initially reported him has given me extreme anxiety and stress, I can’t sleep, I’m terrified of everyone’s judgement, I’m tired of living in fear of him going through with his threats against me every day. On top of that stress, authorities have failed to keep in contact with me regarding the case and it seems to have been dropped altogether. I’m afraid to reopen it because when I tried they yelled at me and made me cry.
——————————————————————————
What Made Me Come to This Sub.
I’m afraid still of him coming to my house and harming me or my family, I know he has access to guns and I know he’s addicted to drugs and isn’t afraid of losing what little he has. I’m afraid of going out in my town in fear of running into him.
At night, I keep myself up for hours on end thinking about everything he did to me. I wait for taps on my window or banging on my front door, for my dogs to go crazy. I give myself panic attacks just trying to do everyday things.
If I make plans with anyone, or even for myself alone, I have to make a strict itinerary and back up plans and I try to always make a way for me to get out of the situation should I need to. I end up writing, and rewriting, itineraries a thousand times before the trip straight down to the socks I plan on wearing each day. Even if I’m going across the country, I get nervous about going to the airport in case he stalked me and somehow knows I’m going to be there at 5:38 AM to catch a flight to so and so to land at 12:19 PM.
It’s just hard for me to do everyday things. Even driving through town if I pass the motel he had sex with me in when I was blacked out and unconscious, or down roads he took me to do explicit things, I have to go home and cry.
I’m tired of feeling like this, like I’m just a fool who fucked myself over to begin with anyway. I’m tired of being afraid, of dragging down the people around me because I can’t get a grip. I can’t wait until I can afford to start seeing a professional to actually pick all this apart..
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TL;DR.
When I was young and dumb, I met a much older man on social media who manipulated me for a handful of years. When I finally put my foot down, he threatened me for months. I relive a lot of the memories and I’m constantly afraid of him. It affects me heavily in things as little as trying to go across town or sleeping at night.
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ptsd
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I(18 afab) started to see psychiatrist about 4 years ago, because I think I might be ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the first or second session. The ASD diagnosis came around 2 months after the ADHD diagnosis.
After being admitted to university a year ago, I switched to my current psychiatrist as my university is offering the services for free (I still have to pay for most of my meds). I gave her the letter that the last psychiatrist wrote for my application of special accommodation in school at the first appointment. Months later, she suspected I have BD 2, but still need some observations (I know my mood swings doesn't fit the diagnostic criteria).
A few months ago, I asked her to give me a medical certificate to apply for a scholarship for student with SEN. She said there isn't much evidence that I have ASD and just wrote ADHD and MADD.
It makes me starts to think about whether I am really in the autism spectrum and thus who I am. Also, I will be having a new psychiatrist next month as she would be no longer working for the university. I don't know how to explain my issues with them if they ask about it.
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aspergers
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I just started doing ERP on my own (I have no therapist to do it with me) and it feels like the most anxiety inducing thing I've ever done to myself. I have religious ocd and my main trigger is any form of entertainment with magical elements. Im trying to watch shows or play games with witches, wizards, sorcerers, etc. and its so frustrating. I can't do it without acting out compulsions because I can't stand the fear. I wish I could just enjoy it without worrying but I feel like I could never successfully do ERP. do I let the intrusive thoughts happen and not act out any compulsions? how long do I have to do this for it to work? do I argue with the bad thoughts? do I let myself ruminate? please give advice :((
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OCD
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Felt like writing this post after saying goodbye to a friend who is moving to Japan after graduating in IT, learning fluent Japanese within two years and getting a great job when he turned 23. I stopped for a while after he left, and started noticing *I consider myself to be completely incapable of replicating even half of his achievements*.
So, I have a very heavy degree of the disorder, and I was diagnosed as a child. I remember always being the worst student in class. **I've only ever managed to finish one book in my life**, which had 300 pages and took me five months to finish as I would not compute the words I was looking at, and **had to re-read every page at least four times to process the story**. I would get scolded by my parents all the time for sucking at school, and back in 2009 I had insomnia for several months until mom decided to stop shoving Ritalin down my throat.
**In 2010, I somehow managed to fail every subject**, and until I quit college in 2019, I was always the last person to finish an exam, no matter what class I was in. Sometimes I'd fail the exams simply for taking too long. **To try and learn I would sit right in front of the teacher, turn off my phone, stare at him as he talks and... I wouldn't absorb any information whatsoever**.
I was studying advertising & marketing, and quit college because I got a very good job opportunity at a company that had a job opening that was too perfect for me. I worked at that company until this week, and **I'm quitting because I have to take care of some health issues that surfaced, but also because I feel incapable of doing my tasks properly, as I'll continuously get scolded by my boss for procrastinating for too long**. I love my job, I love what I do, and yet I can't focus at all. Boss says I do a good job making ads, but I'm too slow. He never wanted to fire me, I quit on my own terms, out of shame, fatigue, and necessity.
Those health issues (liver and heart-related) surfaced because I am also unable to set and actually follow a proper exercise routine. **I drop every routine I start after a week or so**, and I give up on things without even noticing. I don't know if that lack of discipline is tied to ADHD, but it baffles me how normal people can wake up, go to work, exercise, and keep the house clean, while having time for video games and fun. Me? I wake up, I "work" for several hours until I finish every task, eat something and go to sleep. **I'm fucking tired of never having a second for myself.**
My house is disgusting, **cleaning and organizing shit feels like torture**, my health is deteriorating, my coworkers' performance makes me feel pathetic and my old classmates' success makes me feel like a complete idiot. I'm also a commission artist (which is how I'll survive after I leave the office for good) and it's just so annoying how my artist friends are progressing way faster in terms of improving their quality. I also have 14 commissions in my queue, some all the way from June, and I can't finish them quicker because I lack the energy to focus.
**Now, I can't be this dumb, can I?** To be honest, I'm Brazilian, I'm 24 years old, my English is entirely self-taught through video games and internet conversations. I'm good at Photoshop, I make nice designs, and despite improving slow, I'm a good artist with lots of returning clients. Somehow I can't read a simple book, but I can write up a post like this without ever triggering spellcheck. I live on my own, I make enough money to survive and have some fun, and sometimes I silently judge some of my friends for being dumb — but that's probably just another, very arrogant and hypocritical way to cope. *But it just feels like I'm glorifying a small set of accomplishments that most people can do.*
A week ago I decided to get into a simple programming course (Google's Grasshopper) to see if I'm still a stupid moron, and I couldn't solve basic puzzles because I couldn't read a small description that actually had the solution in it. It felt... incredibly stupid.
**The question:** I'm wondering if anyone here feels the same; I'm trying to figure out if my case is worse than most people in this sub, or just average and I'm overreacting. If so, did you ever find a way to work around your ADHD-related issues? If so, did you go after medicine or did you train yourself to solve it the hard way?
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**TL;DR:** *I look up at... pretty much everyone else accomplishing basic shit which I find impossible to replicate and feel like a defective, incompetent, inferior human being. Can't study, can't keep my house clean, can't keep a routine to save my life, can't work without losing focus for literal hours, can't really read anything longer than a cake recipe, can't remember to do recent tasks without an app helping me, can't remember things that happened yesterday, etc. I don't have depression and I'm actually very positive in general, for a person with this kind of perspective. I don't feel doomed, I just wanted to be capable of accomplishing more. I've had years of therapy, and I don't feel I improved much at all. And I don't wanna go back to Ritalin because it fucked my childhood and I'm traumatized. I want to know if you feel the same, and how you deal with it.*
Sorry for the text wall. I made sure to write a TL;DR and highlighted some words to make it easier. Thanks, Reddit.
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ADHD
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I’m sure some of you can relate. I was recently diagnosed at the age of 31 and the more I learn about ADHD the more absolutely devastated I am that I was undiagnosed for so long. Things I just attributed to crappy personality traits were symptoms of my condition.
I can’t help but think, could I have been a successful person? Would my family not resent me? Would I have had a better quality of friendships? There are droves of things I can think of that could have been fixed if I’d known what this was. All of my teachers, my therapists, they would list off my issues and now that I know better, those all spelled out so plainly what I was going through, they were just never linked.
So many people screaming at me, telling me I’m a disappointment, calling me lazy or dumb… the list goes on. 8 year old me had no idea what she was in for and I just hate that she could have been spared of all the pain and loneliness this condition can carry with it.
I swear, every day I learn that something I’ve always done was actually a result of my ADHD and it just continues to make me crumble. I know time will help with the grief this is causing, but right now it’s just so overwhelming to realize that I could have had a significantly better chance at being happy all this time. I’m sure it sounds silly but I’m mourning how different my life could have been.
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ADHD
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The rules don’t say whether discussing characters and whether we think they also have aspergers is allowed, so I hope it is and that this is welcomed!
I watched this show all the time as a kid. It seems like it’s been making a comeback lately. I started rewatching some episodes from season one on YouTube. And I can’t believe that more people haven’t noticed or aren’t talking about the fact that Cleo definitely seems like she has aspergers. I noticed in the very first episode of the show.
I didn’t pick up on it as a kid, but as an adult it seems obvious to me, the same way other characters like Sheldon Cooper or Abed Nadir are obvious to a wider audience. Cleo doesn’t fit the exact same aspy traits as those other examples, because she’s a girl and shows more “girl-asperger traits”, less of the nerdy loner guy type of character that I think is usually what most people tend to associate with aspergers, especially when it comes to characters on tv.
So I’m thinking that a lot of people might not pick up on what I have, being a diagnosed woman who is more familiar with these traits. That’s why I came here to talk about it, to a community of people who are more familiar with what the condition actually is, who are closer to the same place I am to notice and understand these kinds of things.
I want to know if anyone else watched the show lately and came to the same conclusion? Is Cleo an autistic mermaid icon or am I reading too far into it?
(The episodes are all on YouTube in full for free, btw!)
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aspergers
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My bottom front teeth are aching from chewing the inside of my mouth. Any tips to help control this?
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aspergers
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Basically, title's above. Any OCD theme is horrible, I know. Real-event OCD seems to be the worst for me, personally. But my deeds, well, damn. They were actually bad. Is it still justified to stop obsessing then?
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OCD
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I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I can only write what comes to mind. Locked, restrained. Which, is very frustrating actually. But its tranquilized. Locked, again. I want to break the world. I’ve wanted to do so ever since I moved to a different continent as a child. A continent of which I did not know the language and was treated like shit. I was bullied for years, and my parents did not take it seriously. ‘He’s a child he’ll adapt’, that’s the feeling I got from them. Meanwhile I was afraid almost every night, knowing I have school tomorrow. I had to find ways to relieve myself from the constant anxiousness. I found a way to release dopamine by watching porn. I still watch it now, to find comfort in times of distress and anxiousness. I never seemed to heal from what happened those years I was abroad. Its tucked away somewhere, and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever find it again. I don’t believe people who tell me they enjoy my company, or say that I’m strong, or compliment me in whichever way. I say I do, and I convey my gratitude but, I don’t feel nothing. It’s always cold. And one person has shaken it’s foundation, but I can’t break it. It’s what allowed me to cope when my heart was open and able to receive. It’s closed now, and I don’t think it’ll ever open. I can’t connect with people, truly. I don’t want to. Sex is repulsive to me, and I find parents are ugly. That may sound odd, but I think their characters are selfish, naïve and ironically childish. I feel socially rejected, and my thoughts reflect that. I assume that anyone reading this would reject me all the same. And maybe that’s me. Or maybe it’s the identity and role I’m forced to play in order to explain how I feel about myself and the world. Even though society won’t accept me, they’ll place me in a category, and I’ll understand what is expected of me in relation to that. In the end I feel like we all just want to understand our place, and be content with that. I don’t know if I’m content with this but at least I understand, and can behave accordingly. At least I’m not as lost as I was as a child in an environment I did not know. At least I can live as such, where I cannot be taken advantage of, because I know what I am. I thought writing this out would help, but it doesn’t. jlkjkljkjdlkjlkjjlksfdjlkdjlkfklkjlfdsljkjljk;
I’ve looked up for some kind of wire with plastic around it, so it wont cut into the throat too much. I hope maybe it will be more comfortable that way. Eventually cuts the oxygen and allow me to pass out. I won’t have the courage to do it though. It would have to be really impulsive, and that’s not who I am. Maybe if I damage myself to the extent where I’d be more susceptible to impulsive behavior, I would. I think I sound sick, but I believe I cant be cured. I’ve spend years in therapy and in clinics. It works a while because you’re put in a bubble. But eventually they all burst. Sometimes I think I’m better off in jail. Where people just condition me. I’ve got too much time, too much freedom to hurt myself. Society looks after the collective, not the individual. Good luck mfkjglj
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depression
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Already in the process of working towards the right medication with my doctor but I'd like to hear if anyone else has experience going from Concerta to Adderall?
I was taking 18mg Concerta and 150mg Wellbutrin for about a month. 18mg Concerta and 300mg Wellbutrin for a month after. My experience was that it would work well for a 4-5 hours, crash hard in the afternoon, and then get another round of energy around 6pm.
While I had a lot of energy (probably from the 300mg Wellbutrin), my mind was calmer than a Hindu cow on that combination, which helped me think, concentrate, and fall asleep real quick at night. But the energy fluctuation was too much for me, especially when I have stuff do in the afternoon. By the time that second round came in, I was mentally checking out for the day unless I had a project to do.
So I started on 5mg of Adderall for a month and I'm currently on 10mg of extended release Adderall and 150mg Wellbutrin. Don't feel too big a difference on 10mg but compared to Concerta, I feel more impulsive, takes longer to fall asleep, and it's harder to start work. I feel the pick-me-up but the mental clarity just isn't there, at least not yet. I usually end up focusing on the wrong things...like this post.
I understand there will be tradeoffs, I just hope maybe a higher dose will work. Also just brought my cycling trainer into the apartment so I'm hoping some aerobic exercise will help too.
I'd like to hear any similar experiences.
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ADHD
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I have schiz-OCD. My intrusive thoughts revolve around common delusions (government conspiracies, reality being a simulation, imposters, etc).
My compulsion is completely internal- I HAVE to focus on the thoughts and “pay attention” to them or else I’m afraid I’ll believe them. I have to do mental checks to make sure I’m not hallucinating & I will freak out if I misinterpret something, fearing it’s a delusion.
*The hardest part is putting faith in yourself.* Trusting yourself to be able to handle the anxiety- the “what if’s”, the screaming OCD begging you to preform the ritual.
But I’m making progress. Yes I have days where my depression is overwhelming & I feel like I have to punish myself for being too stupid to figure my way out of my OCD. Some days my fear and sadness is so strong, I terrify myself. But I have made so much progress. I’m able to have days where only a single IT crosses my mind!
Keep going guys. If I can do it, you can too.
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OCD
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I've been in the waiting list for a year and I new last month that I'll be starting in May 2021 but for some reason they just called me and said I'd be starting on Thursday! I can't hold my happiness! The beginning of the end of this very long journey, I've suffered PTSD since childhood and this is just the happiest moment in my life, just wanted to share with someone that would understand.
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ptsd
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I’m watching a movie about rape, and as stupid as this may sound, I remembered when I was attacked. I rarely think about the incident but the way this particular show is going, it made me remember. At the time, I didn’t feel anything but fear of reprisal when I testified in court. Not only was I homeless but I would be in the vicinity of his friends. I was dragged through the mud by the defense attorney (a female no less) but it did result in a conviction. I guess I didn’t feel affected because I had been physically and mentally abused by my husband, guns put to my head and the victim of an armed robbery while employed as a store clerk. Today, so many years later, my life is spiraling down. I know I’m bipolar, but I wonder if I’m also affected by PTSD. How would I find out?
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ptsd
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So I was watching this tv show named Rick and Morty and there was this line that I got OCD to check where I'm going wrong in understanding.....here's the line and what various kinds of meaning I'm understanding
Crows : We train ourselves to stop training,trained are untrained ,all training is complete
Rick : Bcuz no training is needed
__________________________________________________________
The meanings I understand are down below :
First meaning: training completes they become untrained
Second meaning: trained becomes untrained
Third meaning:trained becomes untrained bcuz training is complete
Fourth meaning : trained becomes untrained ,we are trained
Fifth meaning : trained becomes untrained ,we are trained (so now I understand why the character said no training needed)
And now I got something else and that is....they stop training bcuz they r trained which is the original meaning but I'm still little cloudy
What I'm trying to say is whenever I get confident and happy that I got it what it meant only at that time some different meaning I get understand.....and the chills I get from it is bcuz damnn like I will whenever try to get these things I won't get it exact and it feels that I'm getting it exact....is this shocking reactions my mind will continue giving me ? By disappointing me ?
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ADHD
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Hi everyone,
This is one of my past traumatic experiences that I've struggled with in an ongoing basis. A few years ago, I had dropped out of my last year at Uni and failed two courses. I had previously been in the Dean's List for three years straight and had published research in peer-reviewed medical journals and IEEE (acclaimed engineering journal).
I just felt really lost and sad all the time. I had a really difficult life at home with my overbearing mother who didn't believe in depression and would force me to stop using meds (which I actually needed).
I started a job at a min wage call center and came across some really nefarious people. I feel like a lot of decisions I made when I wasn't in my right mind actually made my depression worse. One of these decisions is to hang out with James\*.
James was much older and at first he would spend time with me in a local coffee-shop where I would pour my heart out and he would listen to me and console me. But slowly it escalated in him wanting to spend more time. He would call me beautiful and intelligent. Then he would get upset when I would talk to other co-workers. He would get upset when I "used" him and not spend time with him. I didn't think much of this beyond him being eccentric; I still lived with my parents who were very overprotective and he was in his late 60s--it never ever crossed my mind that someone would think of actually pursuing someone so much younger, and especially someone like me who had a pretty solid family and support net (although at the time I was blind to it and was going through issues with said family and some friends). There were times when he would say that we should elope and become lovers and then we would both laugh at how ridiculous it was. He would tell me that he's just trying to "jolt me". Ugh!
I would sometimes buy him meals and take him to restaurants because I felt guilty at "using" him to listen to my problems. He would constantly touch and squeeze my arm etc...I would tell him to stop and he'd say "sorry" and I'd always shrug it off as him being of a "different generation" etc. The whole thing culminated when he sent a sexually explicit email about wanting to sleep with me outlining in explicit detail what he wanted to do sexually. I was mortified and when I confronted him he said that "I lead him on".
Anyway, I don't see him or speak to him anymore and he's long out of my life. I'm not traumatized at what he did but rather at how STUPID I was at allowing him to groom me like that! I wasn't a child and was in my LATE TWENTIES! What the hell was wrong with me?
How do I get over this? Today, I spent the ENTIRE day hating James and this is a continual re-occurrence where I spend hours on end reminiscing, hating the guy, and feeling guilty at how I let myself be trained like this. It's been a few years and I can't overcome it!
If you went through something similar, please let me know how to get this shitbag who is living rent-free out of my head! I just sit there paralyzed and fascinate how I can kill him. I know I won't do anything and end up in jail but it's so draining as I'm unable to snap out of it and do anything else.
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ptsd
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Hello everyone. I was curious if any of you have any tips or tricks to stay consistent with your hygiene? I have noticed that with ADHD, I have struggled all my life with small tasks like brushing, flossing, washing my hair. I so badly want to get myself into a morning and night routine with skin care and everything but I find it just so hard to stick with it for more than a few days.
I would love to hear any tips or practices that any of you have in place to help with this? Thank you so much in advanced.
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ADHD
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Just wondering, maybe we could have a chat or group chat, im m25
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OCD
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It's okay if nobody replies, it's just 2:30am and I'm up feeling bad, just need to not feel alone, so posting where I know people will understand.
I've had a great three weeks. Had some great breakthroughs in my EDMR therapy, had a few good chats with friends, got more grounded, but I feel it all slipping.
Nightmares every night this week. My twitch is back. Hypervigilance is ramping up. I'm on edge and bitching at the people in my house despite trying my best not to.
My old friend suicidality is talking to me on my shoulder, telling me this will never be over, you'll just get worse again and be a burden to everyone, best pack it in now.
I know that voice is full of crap, but it won't shut up, and the longer I feel like shit, the more it gets to me.
What I need is sleep, and uninterrupted quiet and rest time, but with the kids home due to Covid, I won't get it, I'll have to push through.
Anyone else triggered by their own kids? The noise and sudden movement gets to me and frays my nerves.
I'm okay for now, but I need a goddam break and can't have one. I know my healing comes in waves like this, but I am tired of surfing them. Can't I just be frickin healed already?? Bet my abusers aren't feeling this shitty tonight.
And there's my tired bitchfest. Hello to anyone else out there staying up late feeling shitty, you're not alone. Wish we could hang out together and play a really dark game of Cards Against Humanity together or something.
PTSD can go suck an egg.
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ptsd
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i’m new here. my name is jamie. i have psychosis and ptsd and i’ve found this community which is helpful it seems. hope i’m welcome here
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ptsd
|
(I apologize for any mistakes, English is not my first language)
I'm a 20 year old guy and I still live with my parents. 10 minutes ago my mom popped in my room and told me that I need to clean my room, because a guy is going to visit our house and... err... Set up window blinds in my room? I think this is the correct way to say it.
But the thing is, I only found out that I have to clean my room now, because I didn't know when the guy is going to come. If my mom had told me earlier, I would have had time to prepare myself emotionally before doing the housework (I really need that time!) I made different plans for the day, and I was only told about cleaning my room now.
Right now I feel like... I can't recover emotionally. I feel as if my mom came into my room and beat me up with a belt. (No, my parents never used to beat me up, I'm just describing the way I feel)
Can anybody here relate to that? Do you need to be told in advance about any activities? Because I know cleaning your room is such a simple job to do, but I've become so emotional right now that I need time to recover.
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aspergers
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Everything has been derailed. I thought I was handling things well. My husband just lost his job. I’m 8 months pregnant. We have a 3 year old whose birthday is in 2 weeks and we can’t afford anything for her. We now can’t afford rent our bills or groceries. Christmas is in a little over a month and I have no clue how we will get through that. We went from doing ok to absolutely screwed over night. The worst part is that his own father fired him because my husband hurt his back at work and his POS dad was mad that he can’t work as hard because of it. My husband now probably has to have back surgery because the herniated disk he has is so severe. I’m about to have a c-section. We just got a newish car a few months ago that we can now no longer afford and our rent just got raised. I haven’t been suicidal in over a year until now. I won’t do anything because I am pregnant and I can’t do that to my kids but I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff. We have no savings or anything. What do we even do?
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depression
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My bf has confirmed asd for a long time. I didn’t. I kept trying to say I am NT just because I trained myself to talk in social situations, even though that always drained me.
I know my bf kinda sees asd as a harsh thing in life, thatms why he said he may not even want kids, to not make them like him. I’m aware he struggles a lot too.
He always hoped and wanted to be an NT probably. Most of his social circles are NT people.
Staying with him I realized how much I relate to everything he does and say so I started to see a professional in this field. I ran a lot of tests, therapy, etc just to find out im on the spectrum too, very heavy on the sensory motory side and mild to communication side(since I kinda forced myself in time to get better at it, i thought im just shy)
Now, my bf doesn’t know about the fact that I also got an asd diagnosis even though our spectrum is different he is heavier on the communication area and mild on touching sensory area.
He seemed to hate his condition so much he only stays around nt people. He sees it as a curse. And he said if he will ever have kids he will have with an nt woman so the chances for a kid to be nt to be higher.
He always said im nt. He wont care or believe me if i tell him differently but my only fear is that he will distance himself from me just because i wouldnt fit his reality anymore - of being an nt woman for his kids
He always rejects anything that doesnt fit his ‘world’. He tries to adapt but in the end the decision comes from within his mind.
I will be still the same with or without asd diagnosis so i was thinking to not tell him as he believes i may try to “copy him” to’understand him well’
I do need to form a closer bond but he kinda rejects ut saying asd people cant be more than he is already. He seems pretty stubborn and rigid in general
Do you tend to form deeper bonds with nt or nd people in general?
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aspergers
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Hi!
I just started (today) taking prozac for my ocd. I take it in liquid form, fairly small dosage.
I have always, and it’s an ocd fear, been so scared of dreaming. yeah, i know it’s irrational, the majority of ocd fears are.
But i was reading up on side effects, and i saw that abnormal dreams are a common side effect. This triggered a sprial, and I’m now scared shitless to fall asleep. And i feel obsessive, which makes me discouraged because I’m supposed to be feeling better with these meds.
Anyone have any tips?:((
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OCD
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I get angry and anxious when I feel hopeless Yesterday I received some constructive criticism on my tinder profile. I got told that I need to smile more and that I looked like I saw a ghost in one of my photos. Now that I think about it the criticism wasn’t even that bad.
What is bad is that I am on prescription meds and the person that I told to pick up my refill. She didn’t pick up my refill so now I have to wait for an hour and I know that seems like a short time but I have autism, and I need to be continuously stimulated and not have things racing through my head 24/7.
Does anyone else have this domino effect in life where one thing goes bad the next thing goes bad?
I really wish I had a girl as a friend that could be honest and help me take photos so I’m not so insecure about my face shape. Sorry this was a vent but I need to get this off my chest.
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aspergers
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My trauma happened to me when I was 8. And then a bunch more shit happened repeatedly at different ages. I was put on so many anti-depressants at the same time, and now ex (boyfriend at the time) said it seemed like too much but I brushed it off bc wtf did he know he isn’t a doctor? well I got a third opinion, which is when I found out I was heavily over medicated and actually have PTSD not depression.
and I’m too scared to tell people. my ex left me a few months after I tried to kill myself, because I did it in the same place he witnessed his mom try, and it reopened all of his trauma.
I know I shouldn’t blame myself but I do. I miss him terribly. And he got a new girlfriend right away to mask it all, but since then he’s been so back and forth with me. and I love him so much, and I know I deserve better and whatnot but what if people are telling him he deserves better than some girl with PTSD? he probably has it too, it’s all relative isnt it? it’s bullshit. it’s hard, and my nightmares are so bad, and I get sick every morning after I wake up from them, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. No matter how much help I get I can’t escape the pain of everything, I can’t get over what’s happened to me, and I can’t get over losing him.
Bc as corny as it is, I felt like I could get through it all when I had him, and now I have all the shit PLUS the pain of losing him and the pain of knowing I hurt him.
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ptsd
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