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I literally wasted 4 loads worth of washes because I feel they are not clean enough by putting less detergent in it or, I put too much detergent and it’ll get stuck into my clothes resulting in it not rinsing out translating to not having clean clothes. I don’t know anymore. I use HE Tide and I have an HE top loading washer.
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OCD
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So I made a post a couple days ago about my traumatic birth experience. And I sometimes feel like I’m okay, sometimes I don’t. Like at some moments, I feel like I’m perfectly fine, and then another moment, it comes rushing back to me. And all I want to do is talk about it, but I don’t want to at the same time. I’m probably not making any sense whatsoever.
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ptsd
|
Long time lurker first-time poster - the r/ADHD community has been a godsend thanks to all who contribute!
Today I met with a Psychiatrist for the very first time.
Going into the meeting I was/am convinced that I have ADHD.
He was particularly interested in why I was seeking help now, I'm 25 years old.
The conclusion of the meeting was a prescription for Zoloft.
He feels that I may have OCD that is triggering my anxiety.
Before the meeting wrapped I circled back to my examples of ADHD-type behavior.
He told me I very well may have ADHD but he wanted to start with this first and follow up in a few weeks.
I'm curious if anyone else in this sub has had a similar experience and has any thoughts.
Thanks in advance!
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ADHD
|
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who smugly says 'my generation sucks!!' for a waft of superiority. Rather, I just feel completely *lost*. I'm a zoomer at 21 but I am clueless about zoomer 'culture'. I don't understand fashion trends, I have no idea what music is popular, I never understand viral memes anymore. I don't have any online friends, I don't use social media, I don't have TikTok, I don't even know how to use Discord. I've never played Minecraft despite it being absurdly popular among people my age. I didn't watch popular shows or anime while growing up. I'm so disconnected to the standard zoomer experience, I literally feel like a boomer in a zoomers body.
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aspergers
|
I'm 15 and whenever I'm in school most of my teachers and friends doesn't know what's its like to have adhd, they just reprimanded me whenever I have trouble staying in my seat or focusing on class, my parents told them, I told my friends, they neither don't know or just don't give a single shit. And to be honest, I'm scared for my future when I'm working.
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ADHD
|
Hey guys! This is less of a vent post and more of a questioning/thought one. I’m using my experience to provide examples more than anything.
I know the hallmark of PTSD is probably fear and anxiety. Because why else would you develop a fear and trauma based disorder? I have no proper diagnosis and I have experienced traumatic things that continue to fuck up my way of thinking, but one thing that I’ve noticed is missing lately is fear.
I was a very nervous driver from the get go, and throw in a few almost accidents and one actual accident and some road rage from other people and I was paranoid to the point of corner-of-my-eye hallucinations, whether it be cars or people flipping me off or anything. But at the end of last year I was in another accident. My car hydroplaned down a decline off an exit on the highway and everything gave out. Breaks, steering, nothing worked and I smashed into a median with my girlfriend in the car. This was at the peak of my driving anxiety.
And for some reason it completely vanished. I don’t know why. I was to the point where I was having dreams about it frequently and after having another accident it just completely fucked off. I don’t even feel slightly anxious anymore when I drive unless something is actually going wrong. I haven’t dreamt about it since. But I still have those residual ticks, like flinching and gasping when I drive, or holding my breath when I switch lanes. But no anxiety is attached to it.
The same goes with other life events. I had two nearly back to back (as in within the same three week period) traumatic experiences and I feel like my brain just... doesn’t react right. I don’t get scared anymore, at least about the direct incident. But my muscles burn and twitch, my heart pounds, and I find myself running in circles about different things, or the stress worsening my other mental illnesses. (OCD, schizoaffective so you don’t have to dive through my gratuitous vent posts).
But I don’t know. I feel like the driving anxiety erasure could be PTG (post traumatic growth) but my life didn’t get significantly better; I just felt like now I knew. I knew the sensation of a car accident, of losing control and slamming into something, and that put it to rest. I was okay with that being a possibility from then on out.
Last month my workplace had a shooting incident. I was jarred, rattled and very emotional and suicidal especially after trying to share about it and getting pretty much nothing but eye rolls and nitpicks from my parents. But after that it just left me. Yeah, I still have moodswings. Yeah I get twitches at work sometimes, yeah thinking about it in detail makes me kind of nauseated. But I feel like I just can’t fear for my own life like I used too, like with each horrible incident I just lose more fear of death but accumulate more cognitive and practical issues.
Have you guys experienced this? Is this considered a reaction to trauma outside of ptsd, or within the perimeter of it? Thanks for reading of course, and have a good day.
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ptsd
|
This is going to be a longer post. I want people online to know the real me. Some of the content is LGBT so fair warning if you don't like that. I was diagnosed in 1999 at the age of 14. It was a very transformative time for me since I had just started special education at a new school since my local school didn't know what to do with me. I graduated with a IEP diploma but went back and got my GED. I've struggled with depression for a long time. My hobby/escape is a tie between movies and playing The Sims. One of the earliest movies that fueled my love for movies is Edward Scissorhands. I always found Edward to be relatable. I came out as bisexual in 2013. Luckilly my family was accepting. I do have a addictive personality especially when it comes to alcohol. I still live at home. My moms my best friend. I like animals more than people. My cat Dude is my therapy animal. Food is another big thing in my life. Especially asian food and sushi. My taste in music is very eclectic. Queen was the band that started my love of music. Anyhow I would love to make some friends here.
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aspergers
|
I turned 24 on the 6th of november, my 2,5 year long relation ship ended a couple months ago and now she is movin out her stuff right this momment.
I have a home office job i didnt attentd to this week because its all so crushing. Im an addict with a broken family and my gf was my only grip on life. I smoke 2 methyl ap 237 (research opiate) and take clonazolam (reseach benzo ) to sleep... im left alone now that my ex is almost gone and i cant stand this ongoing ... last year around the same time i was in rehab too but i couldnt stand beeing alone over christmas so i left early just to end up in a worse spot then before... should i go again and just forgett about christmas and holidays... how will i cope beeing alone in the hospital, staff probably is on vaccation so i cant expect to get best counseling around this time of the year... should i go? All i do is lay around, cry and get depressed at everything i see in my home.. i cant find the will power to turn my life around and im stuck in a job that leaves me more depressed but i need to pay of credit debt i have accumulated over the last 2 years.... how do i proceed if i go to the hospital they wont just stop my debt will they? And how do i go about finding a job that wont leave me depressed and sad after just one day... im so done for... any advice on how i should proceed i would be very thankfull
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depression
|
it's the first time i talk on internet of my OCD that i've been suffering since 6 years now. I had some good and bad times during this years but this time i just lost a girl i loved probably because of it and i'm like ok i'm done i have to do something, i just can't support this anymore.
it's hard but i think the thing is that i "just" don't accept this FUCKING uncertainty. i watched an interview on youtube where a french actor said that he maybe is a serial killer and everyone laughed about that.
so that's just this ? have i to accept that "maybe i'm crazy maybe not lol" ? that maybe the door isn't closed and all my stuff can be robbed and my cat that i love be killed ? that maybe tomorrow can be fucked up or maybe not ?
what a life it's hard
i remember when i was a kid i used to have big anxiety attack about what's happen after death because the answer is just "we don't fucking know"
ahhhh my my my... it seems to be so simple for other people to accept that
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OCD
|
I have just started therapy and my therapist immediately thought that I needed medication. I thought I would try cbd gummies first with no thc rather than getting a prescription. I am only taking 10mg twice a day. I started feeling better, my fatigue went away and I have energy that I never have. But I am also wondering if I am getting energy from my anxiety being calmed or amped up? I feel like I crash a bit before bed. But before I was having anxiety/panic attacks then immediate fatigue. Has anyone experienced this with Cbd or know if it regulates out? I have only been using it for 3 days. I also could just be overthinking whether it is working properly or need a higher dosage.
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OCD
|
Long after my marriage was falling apart, a marriage counselor suggested I might have ADHD after listening to my wife's complaints and the many things I did to frustrate her and make her feel like my care-giver. Note that she was already "done" at this point, and attended just as a formality to try to help us communicate better as we have kids, and she knows "co-parenting" is our future, at the very least. She was dismissive of the suggestion. Maybe I do have ADHD, but that's not why she's leaving me, etc.
I was referred to another psychologist within the practice of our marriage counselor, and it didn't really go well. He was nice. Offered some tips for identifying patterns and trying to set up systems for myself to overcome some common traits, but I never got any understanding, or explanation as to what and why I was possibly feeling what I've always felt for as long as I can remember. He sent me a bubble-sheet test to take. I never returned it. And i'll sheepishly admit that I made up something about it getting lost. Obviously a mistake, but at the onset of trying to process my marriage in shambles and this guy asking me what frustrated me about my boss and deadlines, it just felt hopeless. The bubble-sheet just felt like a lackluster attempt to boil my life down to some bubbles about how I feel standing in line at the DMV. It's SO much more than that. and it felt like a joke.
Fast-forward several months and despite countless hours in tears, researching, reading stories, listening to podcasts, reading books, etc., I can't seem to find anyone near me that I would trust for diagnosis. I resonate with just about everything i read on the subject, but am really struggling to take the next step.
For one, I've gravitated towards those that understand adult ADHD and marriage relationships. Reached out to 4-5 of the top within the Philly/Mainline area, those that are published or contribute to publications regularly and all are booked, not taking clients, etc. As soon as I feel like I might trust someone enough to schedule, I'm turned down as they're full, not accepting clients, etc.
I'm losing steam. It takes me a long time to work up the courage and trust to reach out. I call with trepidation, finally getting the motivation to do something or take action, and the constant "no" I'm getting is really just deflating me.
Part of me feels like this is just my process, but part of me also bears the weight of how important it is to get diagnosed, and my seeming inability to even get that done, or schedule an appointment just makes me feel very inadequate.
I care deeply about repairing my relationships and gaining insight into many of the things I struggle with, but the longer I go without finding a good match, the more it makes me feel like a failure all over again.
How does one find a good doc for diagnosis? It just seems like an insurmountable task for me right now, despite how internally I know it's important.
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ADHD
|
I have no family but my 2 kids and husband, and grandson. I have whats considered a long term terminal illness. My baby's dad fights me over everything. I barely had enough money for gifts this year, but I can't work a regular job due to illness. But when I do work no 9ne is available to watch my son like magic. I dont have insurance so im in pain constantly. Mental and physical. My husband wants me to save money but refuses to buy groceries. So we are at Ramen and tuna. My mom was a narcissistic cunt. But.. I love her.. and gate her. Its confusing. Im just so tired. Tired of breathing. Waking up to the same day
Its like groundhog day of gaye and misery.
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depression
|
Our tax advisor apparently told me about an outstanding payment that my fiance had. Well guess who forgot, and now there's a fucking late fee on top of that.
This was before I started treatment btw. Literally have 0 memory of this conversation.
I've reached out to the office and informed them of my ADHD status and asked for 2 accomodations.
1: Any information about him also needs an email to him.
2: I will email recap our meetings to have them confirmed, thus making a data trail.
This is the kind of situation that would normally make me hate myself, but that has no positive outcome so I'm writing out this instead. Shit like this is why I got treatment. I cannot change the past, I am creating solutions for the future.
But also, ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Also some tears.
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ADHD
|
It's a hard one to explain but someone pointed it out to me and wondered if it's an Asperger's thing.
I am right handed. I write, play ball sports and play guitar right handed BUT if I eat, drink , carry bags, use tools or play a batting sport like hockey/baseball etc. it's always using my left hand. A fellow worker pointed it out and thought I was left handed but when I told him I wasn't he was surprised. I'm definitely not ambidextrous as I can't write at all with my left hand.
Is this common due to the way our brains are wired or am I just a one off case?
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aspergers
|
I feel like I know what I need to do (roughly; exercise, 1-2 hobbies that I can get reasonable at and take pride in, mindfulness, gratitude journal) and I can do these practices for a day, a week, maybe a month; and then I just… lose all motivation to do them, forget to do them, find a new hobby, get depressed etc
How have you made changes that stick? Or do I need to change jsomething else? I’m very exasperated
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ADHD
|
I don't want to feel good anymore. I don't want to feel not alone. I'm comfortable in depression because it's literally all I can remember. I no longer have an interesting in healing or wonder why I am this way.
It's getting darker (I've never had sudden urges to violently injure myself before at my job before, that's new) and that makes it more painful than I'm used to, but the idea of waking up with a desire to live life is so much scarier to me.
I have a fear of getting in a specific kind of accident in my work building. Everyone at my job who knows about it laughs at me, "oh, that wouldn't kill you, don't worry." And I've come to realize that the fact that it wouldn't kill me is what's scary to me.
I am not afraid if death; I'm afraid of surviving.
This fear of living is my driving force, bizarrely. It's like I force myself to live a normal, high-functioning life to disguise myself as normal, out of fear of people around me learning that I'm afraid to live. And it's so exhausting.
I don't want to get better anymore. I just want to be done.
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depression
|
So I am not diagnosed OCD, but I suspect I am.
My parents used to observe me doing things like taking an extra step to make sure I took an even number of steps before I walked across a threshold. Or if I touch one finger to my thumb I must touch them all. Or playing card games where you have some of your cards face up on the table, I had to meticuliously align the cards so the overlap was even and the runs were evenly spaced. These are just a few examples. I was often teased for this sort of thing, but nobody ever thought it was a sign that I might have OCD or something else.
I've recently talked to my doctor about ADHD, and he has changed my medications to something that is supposed to help. But TBH I've always found that OCD fit me as well. I am very meticulous of how I put things away. Cups in the cupboard have to have their handles aligned, and they must not be scattered, but all tight to each other. I obsess about patterns and sequences in the spaces around me.
I feel like I swing between a more ADHD mode where I can just let my home become disorganized and messy, and then to OCD where EVERYTHING has to be clean and orderly. Like those two parts are fighting each other.
Oh, and add to all this that I'm finding a lot of traits that also fall under the autism spectrum. To be honest, I don't really see a boundary between these 3 disorders. Can anyone else relate to any of this?
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OCD
|
As a disclaimer I'm not seeking medical advice or a diagnosis, just want to throw some ideas around.
In the last several months I've developed cold extremities, it comes and goes but is usually worse when drinking coffee (I have literally just 2 low-strength cups per day, though.) There have been times I don't have it though, or otherwise don't notice it, caffeine or not. I can't identify what factor explains the "off days", as yet.
There MAY also be a thyroid disorder going on, I've multiple other symptoms, along with generalized "extra cold sensitivity" even absent cold extremities, it's like my ability to handle cold has rapidly changed for the worse. I've got also skin and nail abnormalities showing up, drastic lack of energy, hair loss, among other things.
But regardless of a possible cause for my Raynaud's, I'd like to look at what I could do for it right now. It's never been this bad either.
For those familiar with Raynaud's, is there anything that helps besides quitting coffee? For further reference I've never smoked (said to be the single biggest factor) and I do not drink alcohol. I do take a one-hour walk literally every day, however other than that, tend to be very sedentary. Can't remember the last time I had a high-intensity exercise--it would have to be 2 years ago. In case that is a factor.
Anyone? This is driving me nuts lately, and I don't want to quit caffeine entirely. Lemme know...
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aspergers
|
I've gone untreated for inattentive type ADHD for nearly my whole life. I was diagnosed at 19, didn't continue the help I needed and I'm now 26. I have been on 40mg of Biphentin for 4 days now after starting with lower doses. After years and years of barely scraping by and my ability to cope with my symptoms getting worse and worse, I decided to take a small but huge step of talking with my doctor and starting me back on meds and will be starting therapy shortly.
At first it was really difficult to tell how it was benefitting me because I didn't know what to do or where to start with this sudden change in my brain. Once the meds kicked in within about an hour on the first day of 40mg, I felt immediately calmer and focused, but I had to sort of train myself on how to use the benefits after years of being untreated and following the same behaviours. Don't get me wrong, things are still difficult (especially without therapy) but I find it's easier to just do things and keep focused for longer. It's relieved a lot of anxiety caused by years of struggling and because I was unable to come to a realization. I still have a long way to go though.
I woke up this morning with what felt like hope, I took my meds, and tried organizing my thoughts and tasks one by one (as much as I could). I managed to clean all of the kitchen, scrubbed the stove, cleaned the dishes, did my errands and cleaned the interior of my car within 5 hours! I'm actually proud of myself for once! I feel a weird satisfaction from doing these things that I didn't feel before, it would take me hours to complete and keep focused on simple and boring tasks and today felt so productive and the day is only half way done!
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ADHD
|
I'm having a bad moment tonight. I've been having a fixation on this topic for what seems like a year or so. I've always had the fear of death and what happens after so I know that's not going away but I also am really close with my parents and considering that I'm 16 - I have the hugest fear of losing them. As someone who fears what happens after because of both religion and personal reasons - I can't help but overthink it. I wanna see my parents again after I pass away but I have a huge fear of the afterlife and past lives (which is also extremely complicated because I don't wanna lose memories of this life, have everything about me being thrown away or something I don't remember, I don't want to forget about my relatives, I don't want to forget about my pets, etc.. and I know there are supposedly ways to remember past lives but that still doesn't comfort me. I just don't and can't imagine myself being someone else after this life and I don't want to because I don't want to lose these memories. The only thing I'm okay with is if the people in my life currently are connected to me in other lives, too. Same with my cats!) so the thought of dying and immediately becoming another person hurts me - same with my parents and relatives. How can I stop fixiating and obsessing over this? I wanna be able to think positively but it's so hard. I already struggle with my agoraphobia/panic disorder/OCD/etc.. but I just wanna be able to be a teen, go to stores (agoraphobia), and etc.. It's so hard. It's geniunely so hard. How can I start enjoying life? How can I stop obsessing over these thoughts? I know it's very complex. It may not make sense but I feel so alone about these thoughts.
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OCD
|
Hi everyone! To start off, I am not a native English speaker, and I don't know all of the correct terms pertaining to this illness.
I got diagnosed about 5-6 months ago (the inattentive kind), and I am still having a hard time coping with it. I constantly feel like I must have cheated during the DSM-V. Like I somehow don't have it, and maybe I am just lazy?
I am also not properly medicated. I have tried Strattera for a month and a half, and these last days I have been easing out of it. My psychiatrist said that you could quit it cold turkey, but she wanted me to be eased out. I feel horrible now. I haven't been able to sleep right, and I don't know if it has anything to do with the medication. Part of me thinks that I am just "bad" at having ADHD?
I know I need to trust the process, but it is so difficult. I haven't been to school today or yesterday, and I am scared that I won't be able to graduate.
If anyone has any advice or just general support, I would be so grateful.
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ADHD
|
I can't stop thinking about shit that I know makes me depressed. Its all stuff that I cant change or just fucked myself with in life. I want it to stop. I try so hard to think of other things and distract myself but I can't. The thoughts just won't stop. I'm tired of suffering every god damn day. I wanna kill myself so badly but the only thing keeping me here right now is my cat. I dont give a single fuck about anything or anyone else. The day he's gone is the day im gone. Cause I cant keep doing this. Pot used to help but even thats stopped working. I'm so exhausted from this. Please
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depression
|
Hi! I’m currently taking Prazosin at night (up to 3mg) for nightmares but I’m curious to know if anyone takes Prazosin during the daytime to help with PTSD?
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ptsd
|
I was diagnosed with OCD last year and I've been working on learning more about it. So far, I found more about Arithmomania, which is something I've had my whole life. I was wondering if there is a term for feeling uneasy about empty space. It's hard to explain, but for example, if I have my fingers open and I move my hands, I have this really strong sense that there was a trail left where there was negative space, and I have to put my hands back to where it was, close my fingers, and go back over it to "catch" the trail. I also fidget with things like my pop socket, where I have to run a finger over the smooth surface over and over until it feels like I made a smooth pass. The thought that I left empty space in like the crack of my knuckle or something really bothers me. Is there a way to classify this so I can read up on it? Thanks!
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OCD
|
A recent review (meta-analysis) by Philipp and coworkers (see [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30456821/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30456821/)) shows that the self-help concept myMCT (stands for metacognitive training for OCD) improves symptoms of OCD. The concept is available **at no cost** in various languages from here: [www.uke.de/mymct](https://www.uke.de/mymct) myMCT seems to blend techniques from different treatment rationales (acceptance and commitment, cognitive behavioral therapy, metacognitive interventions) . For more severe cases, I presume a face-to-face therapy is still needed
|
OCD
|
No core values, no morals, confusion, doubts, anxiety, depression, mood swings, personality disorder....my own brain ruined my life.
So close to ending it all.
This is the most disgusting thing that could happen to a human.
My feelings, thoughts, behaviors are all affected. There's nothing I can do instead just be a fuckin piece of shit and misserable.
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OCD
|
Like i will be listening to a song i like and all of a sudden my brain will connect it to something in my life without me wanting it too. like it happens on and off, sometimes i can listen to music with it just being music and sometimes i just can’t without being overwhelmed by the things i’m trying to escape from.
Like i just want to listen to a song and just enjoy the music but my brain will relate it to ten thousand things at once. But anyways does this happen to anyone else? Thank you for reading this btw i appreciate it :)
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OCD
|
I only work three days a week (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and its taken me months to build up to that after a burn out but on the other days, I literally do nothing (plus I need to recover a bit as I find work mentally taxing and overwhelming). For the last 4/5 months and increasingly over the last 5/6 weeks I will spend hours in my day just waiting for time to pass. I can't wash up, I can't tidy up, I physically can't force myself to do anything (even things I would enjoy because then thats pressure to do something well) so I end up just looking around thinking of what I could be doing and just scroll through my phone for hours at a time.
After I finished university last year and after the pandemic, I completely lost my drive and ability to use momentum, stress and deadlines as motivation. Is this something that I can relearn how to do? I kind of feel like I'd prefer being in a heightened stress state and be able to get stuff done at an unhealthy rate like before rather than this. Anyone else had periods like this were they feel like their life is at stand still but they can't implement doing anything to help get out of the cycle? I feels physically impossible to engage my brain into just doing even a tiny bit of tidying.
P.s. I am currently on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment but it's 1 year away and I feel like my life is now in \*waiting mode\* until then, which also doesn't help. I feel like I have to do nothing and wait for that assessment before I move on with my life. It's really annoying. I've gone from manic hyper focus, hyper stressed, people pleasing non stop whirlwind to couch potato since the pandemic, there's no in-between.
Any tips? Any experience with this and how to navigate life procrastination? I have so many ideas and I want to start my own business and so much I want to do with my life but I can't stop phone scrolling and getting overwhelmed.
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ADHD
|
So disclaimer what I am about to say is totally stupid but I have the urge to do ticks, and if I don’t im afraid I will be transported to another dimension where my fear is true. Please help me get over this irrational obsession. :)
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OCD
|
Like some of them talk in a really weird manner but I've never experienced that and I have yet to find another example of anyone autistic who also don't have any of the characteristics of what I see shown so often
|
aspergers
|
I keep having dreams with children in sexual connotations/this one specific situation and having a groinal response. I HATE MYSELF. This must mean something right? Once fair enough but now it's been 2 or 3 consecutive nights. I honestly don't know what to do and I feel so sad and lost. I don't even think I think about intrusive thoughts as much as I used to so it's probably not because of that. It feels like my true desires are showing now.
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OCD
|
I'm seeing a specialist on Tuesday to get a differential diagnosis. For background I'm diagnosed with CPTSD, anorexia, and bipolar 1, and I'm confident in the accuracy of my first two diagnoses. the bipolar 1 diagnosis is up in the air though, because my psychiatrist told me after two years that he couldn't tell if I genuinely had it or if it was caused by another disorder.
all my other diagnoses have had a direct impact on my mood regulation, executive function and attention span, but I'd been struggling with those issues even before my PTSD started. I dropped out of university four years ago and haven't been able to get my life back on track since, and all my friends with ADHD (which is to say 90% of my friends) have been urging me to get an assessment to set my mind at ease, so here I am.
what kind of stuff should I expect for a two-hour evaluation? do I need to prepare a list of all my symptoms beforehand cos god knows I'll forget key issues in the heat of the moment? how much sleep should I get, and should I avoid medical mj for the next few days? also, how are differential diagnoses usually carried out? I've only had evaluations where I was slapped with a ton of diagnoses at once, never one that looked at the differences as well as comorbidity that might occur, so I have no idea how that looks. is there a questionnaire that differentiates between bipolar and ADHD and helps determine whether you have one, the other, or both?
thank you so much. this community has helped me a lot over the past few days.
(also, funny thing to note — the specialist has already been making wry comments about how much I procrastinated to get this process rolling, and how difficult it is to reach me by phone 😂 I think he's already beginning to suspect something)
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ADHD
|
That’s it, that’s the post. Wish I could say more, much love everyone.
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depression
|
Hi all! I am so glad I found this community. It was recommended to me by a therapist I just started seeing. I always assumed what I was experiencing was simply anxiety, until this therapist connected the dots for me.
My main compulsions are researching, reassurance-seeking, and magical thinking. Does anyone else here do a form of magical thinking where you think that if you think of a bad outcome enough or often, you can prevent it from happening?
It’s exhausting being hyper-vigilant but I also recognize the ways in which OCD has protected me from grief and dealing with uncertainty.
I’m looking forward to connecting and reading y’all’s stories.
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OCD
|
I've this Exam in one month, tried many years I failed so many times, I changed many things this time usually I study like two weeks before and mess up everything somehow I need to clear this time. This time I Completed almost all syllabus early but now I feel I forgotten everything and revision seems huge , why I can't revise anybody help me
For two weeks I studied nothing I am anxious I can't study/revise Pls help
How revision be interesting, I learn new things but can't revise
I dont know were to post this so I posted here
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ADHD
|
So there was a rape incident happened around 2 years ago. all my friends put stories on jusitice for the victims. I never use to post such stories. but now I have false memories of supporting the abusers. I feel like I enjoyed that. I know that is not true, but the what if question just kills me. I feel like a shit. I don't know what to do. I feel like dying.
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OCD
|
I do find it easier to get out of bed and I don't wallow in my sadness as much which is great since it is an anti depressant so thats working and my thoughts aren't intially running right when I wake up. I've found just slightly easier to finish shit but I can say that my adhd is now very evident and it is now making me angry, I feel stupid a lot and even like I'm slowing shit down for people at work. It's getting to my self esteem now. I'm wondering if I should get off Wellbutrin and try something more specific to adhd. My psychiatrist doesn't prescribe Adderall, I'm wondering if I need a stimulant.
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ADHD
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Dear internet,
I failed. I failed myself. People love to talk about success and showcase it in this type of way but I failed. It's time to showcase my failure. I had a 7 year relationship, that failed. A 5 year career, that failed too.
​
I am back to where I was when I left home exactly 10 years ago. When I turned 12 I thought I'd rule the world. I had this much confidence. My depression started at 11, shortly after I started menstruating for the first time. I get so sick of repeat
ing my story but here it is one more time. My perspective about my life may have changed throughout as I matured into adulthood.
​
My life isn't flat, nor is it the most interesting. From the outside, I was a regular 27 year old who has a corporate job and is struggling to discover their purpose. On the inside, I am a dreamer. I am writing this today to celebrate my mediocrity. I write this with regret because I spent a large amount of time convinced that I am special. Proud to admit that I have read 0 books in my life. You can't blame me, I have a severe case of ADHD. One that is depleting. Writing this makes me feel like absolute fraud. Shouldn't I be an avid reader to have you, the reader, engage with me? If I had a wikipedia page I'd like for it to mention everything I've failed at. Why is it that only successes are worth mentioning? Here's an idea of what it looks like. Isn't it genius to list honorable mentions of your failures?
​
Let's call me "Xi Kamal"
About
Xi Kamal is a non-binary mediocre person. Born in the gulf in 1994 as a stateless Palestinian. Xi finds refuge in dreaming big dreams and not knowing how to kickstart any of them. Xi grew up in a small conservative town and never knew they'd suffer like they are today. Xi has no one today who understands them. After kickstarting their career studying Visual Communications, Xi later went on to work a mediocre corporate job as a junior graphic designer and later a graphic designer. During the time after graduating from University, Xi went through surgery and was miserable for two years. Xi's personal life has always been so unresolved. Their only relationship which lasted between ages 16-23 ended after years of fighting to keep it. Xi later went on to realize how trivial that relationship had been. Xi soon realised working in a corporate is not for them and quit their job in hopes to follow an unknown and vague passion. 2 months after they quit their job they were no longer able to afford rent and decided to move back to their parent's. Here, they do nothing at all. Their parent's house is an unstable place where all their insecurities were bred. Xi is currently miserable. They do not regret leaving their job, yet they are very frustrated with themselves on where to go with their life next. Their ADHD is not a daily life thing. It infiltrates into their everything they are capable to achieve. Their focus shifts from one thing to another and they become completely crippled. As they write this they feel helpless and unsure of where they want to go in life. The opportunities are endless, yet there is no clear path. The goal is success.
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ADHD
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Good morning everyone. I need advice.
I am a mom with untreated ADHD, with an elementary age child who *is* on medication, with severe ADHD (his neuro developmental MD put the “severe” on there).
Our pharmacy has cut their hours so they aren’t open at all on weekends. Every single time we call in a refill / MD faxes it- it takes them over a week or more to fill it.
This has been going on for over a year.
This is completely unprofessional in my mind. I need to know if I have a leg to stand on - or if I’m getting too heated.
It’s our local Walgreens. I was treated poorly by them when I was receiving stimulant medication. They did the same.
Is this common for many here? Do most pharmacies treat you like this over your *necessary* to function med?
I’m not exaggerating when I saw my poor kiddo cannot be expected to attend to school properly without it. It’s entirely unfair to him, his teachers and his classmates.
Never mind that as a parent I refuse to set him up like that - it’s just way too unfair.
We have CVS here - have any of you found them to be any better?
Sorry to vent- it’s this ableism judgy McJudgy stuff I despise, from behind the pharmacy counter. I’ve been through this countless times.
Hope everyone has a great day today
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ADHD
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I'm a case of a later diagnosis (diagnosed this year at 30 yo), and due to being untreated for such a long time, work for me is associated with feelings of fear and doom.
I've been prescribed medication (Vyvanse), and it has helped me focus on certain types of work in a way that nothing else ever could. It was an amazing experience, with no abnormal anxiety, and so I'm quite convinced that at least in principle the medication is right for me.
However, once I have to work on a topic that is even barely associated with thoughts and feelings of fear, shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, or failure, these are intensified. And this is the case with almost everything.
This then results in a state of "paralysis", inhibition, and avoidance — and even when I manage to start, I then can't focus, feeling distracted, nervous, and most of all, "scattered".
While anxiolytic medication has been discussed with the doctor, I want to ask you all here:
* Do you have any advice on how to overcome this fear?
* What has helped you in a similar situation?
**TL;DR: Stimulant medication works well for work that I don't fear, and the medication doesn't appear to create anxiety out of nowhere; but it intensifies fear of work built up over decades of being untreated, resulting in avoidance and lack of focus. What has helped you?**
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ADHD
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I’m severely underweight. My BMI is 14.52. I need to gain 25-65lbs to be in the healthy weight range. Any advice to gain weight while not being all that hungry? I’m breastfeeding too so it has to be a safe method, nothing crazy lol. I’ve only been on adderall a few months. I’ve always had an extremely high metabolism but I have never been this underweight. 20lbs would at least bring me to my “normal.” And I really want to gain it fast, I feel gross and unhealthy and bony.
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ADHD
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Has anyone had or encountered an executive function problem like mine? I am *terrible* currently at doing abstract tasks, tasks pulled off a to-do list, tasks that have been waiting to be done for months, or tasks where I have to learn something new just to get started on them.
But I am still very responsive and helpful when someone says to me, "Hey Erica, you know something about X, right? I need to do Y. Can you tell me how to do Y with X, or add something to X so I can do Y? Thanks!" Then I can jump on it and do whatever they asked me to do to solve their problem, like I can absorb their motivation and use it as my own.
There is something magical about the combination of a specific task for a specific person to do something specific that they want to be able to do, right now, in a domain that I already know something about.
I should also add that I was kind of OK at more general tasks for a few months earlier this year after starting T3 thyroid hormone, but lost it again after lowering my T4 thyroid dose after a blood test showing that the combination had made me hyperthyroid.
Does this ring a bell with anyone else?
(Edited to add: my problems are mostly at work, where my manager really wants me to be able to just do the next thing on the list, whatever it is. I'm more OK with not being able to solve my own problems, because the only person I'm disappointing there is myself. But not being able to get things done at work has consequences.)
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ADHD
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This is honestly embarrassing to even type out as it makes everything more of a reality for me but i deal with contamination ocd. I had a huge boil on my thigh this week and by friday it had opened up due to me being in a warm shower. Which caused me to have a whole breakdown because of the bacteria inside the boil and not being sure if that bacteria was on my legs due to the water running down them. I had also gotten out to grab something from my closet before noticing the break so my mind jumped to the conclusion that the bacteria is all over the floor, the shower floor and the rugs i have in the bathroom. The bacteria is called Staphylococcus aureus, ive read it is everywhere and normal for humans but then when reading on boils it says that the pus can infect other people and cause boils.. im just so fucking scared and so embarrassed. ive never felt so helpless, ive even contemplated taking my life. im just here to ask for some clarity and if anyone knows if that bacteria really is everywhere or if it can really infect others. i only ask because i live with my parents still and i worry about passing anything onto them. thank you for reading and i appreciate any feedback~
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OCD
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Having a big family, food came first this month. I went 5 days without my meds. I am having issues, 6 days back on. I am getting stuck in loops. disassociating... Example: Staring at the red box for 30 minutes, until I realize I am stuck and pull out.
​
UHG... I won't go into the emotional rollercoaster from hell I am going through being off meds for days and days SUCKS... And I thought they did nothing
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OCD
|
Hi guys,
Earlier this week, I was so devastated by my visit to a new psychiatrist in my area. Just a trigger warning that this might come off as very triggering for some.
The psychiatrist was an asshole to say the very least. It basically shattered all my hopes for a better life and chances for recovery. Let me break down what he said:
1) He said that he was surprised to know that I’m in university as people with OCD rarely even get into universities. That was one of the first things he said when I entered his office.
2) He said that my OCD is very horrendous, given that my obsession has to deal with violent themes. In fact, he also said that OCD with taboo thoughts (the so-called Pure O) are harder to treat than the more “normal” OCD (u guys know what I mean)
3) He said that the manifestation of my themes (harm OCD, false memory OCD) are worse off and scarier than themes dealing with checking and counting. In fact he said that the checking and counting themes *do not* contain fear as opposed to my themes.
4) He said that counselling and exposure therapy doesn’t work for me, as my compulsions are not physical.
5) He wanted to prescribe me tranquilizers, and said SSRIs won’t work for me.
6) He wanted me to seek reassurance from the “right” people...
7) He outright told me my manifestation of OCD is chronic as compared to others.
Basically, he left me even more hopeless than ever. I even contemplated ending my life after I left his office. But my dad through the phone begged me to not do it and come back. I paid $256 for a consultation with someone who has had over 30 years of clinical experience and claimed he knew OCD and yet telling me that OCD involving checking and counting and washing don’t have fear that drive these compulsions. I asked him if these people with my themes of OCD would kill themselves, he kinda implied yes.
Basically, he confirmed that I’m the worst and most fucked up person with OCD. I completely broke down after that. I’m not sure why he would say all these things - it’s as if he’s just intentionally trying to devastate me. I’m so hurt by these mental health professionals there’s no words I can describe my hatred towards them.
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OCD
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I feel like i need help with my aspergers, my depression, and my anxiety, i need support from my friends or family, but whenever they ask me what i want I have no idea how to answer. Any help is appreciated, thank you :)
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aspergers
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I have to watch a documentary for my history class and then write a 1-2 page response paper. only problem is, the transcript tool on YouTube isn't working (its just displaying a loading symbol) and there's no captions available for this video. Just having the audio is making it nearly impossible for me to focus, especially since I really don't like history as a subject. I'm halfway through the documentary, but I'll probably have to start over as i haven't written a single word. any advice?? it's due tomorrow (tuesday) at midnight and I'm working all evening tomorrow....
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ADHD
|
My boyfriend's (17M) father was not a good man. He was violent towards my bf's mom and never really contributed anything towards their family. He is estranged from him and divorce proceedings are underway.
My boyfriend told me earlier on in our relationship that he has OCD, he has regular intrusive thoughts about how he is a bad person, he will become like his father and all his studies and attempts to be a good person are futile.
His OCD is self diagnosed and this happens everyday. He says he has these episodes whenever he tries to focus on something. He can't write notes during class because of this , is this legitimate, asking respectfully, does this really happen?
I've always been supportive of him. His mother is a doctor who knows about this. But my concern is if he really has ocd, why isn't he doing anything for it. It's been 3 years (since i have known, maybe more), he's never had therapy he says he vents it all to me because I'm his therapist. But I fail to see how is this helpful for him. What should I tell him? I don't wanna seem him I'm telling him he's using this as an excuse for not doing this work.
if anyone had any similar experiences do share, I wanna know what can I do to help him through this.
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OCD
|
I’ve (24F) had depression ever since I was 12, and possibly some anxiety sprinkled in.
I swear the older I get, the worse the depression and anxiety becomes.
When I was in college, my anxiety was at its worst. I was having panic attacks each day, crying a lot. I got sick of it, so I decided to “re-wire my brain”; whenever I was in a situation where I felt anxious, I forced myself to become numb. I did this over, and over, and over. Then, I no longer had to force myself, I became numb, even in situations that would make normal people anxious. I failed to realize that what I did had consequences. I could no longer feel extreme happiness/joy/excitement over positive things. I was 19 when this all occurred.
I ended up dropping out of college because I was too poor for it, and joined the army. Met some cool people along the way, but the army doesn’t help with my depression; they claim to care about soldiers mental health, but they truly don’t. They expect me to find a therapist, but military healthcare sucks when it comes to mental health, and they won’t even find a therapist for me.
My boyfriend of 3 years (who is also in the army, we live together), insists that I get help and that he will pay for me to see a therapist. Although I appreciate that offer, I feel it’s just kinda wrong to have my SO pay for me to un-fuck my mind. The idea makes me uncomfortable for some unknown reason.
As a kid, I grew up with a narcissist mother, so I have it drilled into my head that I’m useless, suck at just about everything, etc. She would always compare me to other kids, even my friends; “Jessica gets straight As, why can’t you do that?” Or “Oh, you want to work for the FBI? That’s too hard of a job, our brains don’t work like that”. If I ever strived for something, she’d verbally swat me down immediately. It got worse in my teenage years, she would get drunk, become nasty, I’ve had objects thrown at me before, a kitchen chair being one of them. She even put me in a headlock once and tried to choke me out. There’s much more she’s done, but I won’t get into it. A year ago she got diagnosed with breast cancer, and she has changed her attitude towards me, probably realizing that she wasn’t the best mother. But it’s too late, 23 years too late, the mental damage is already done.
The depression of course runs on her side of the family, how ironic because she never showed sympathy for my depression. All I got was a “suck it up, that’s life”.
So here I am now, my self-hatred getting worse each day. Got laid off back in October, have applied to so many jobs, and still nothing. Got pulled from a college class due to lack of participation (because of the depression) I feel like such a useless piece of shit. My boyfriend works, he is supportive of me, and I appreciate it. Yet, no matter how many positive things he says about me, I never believe it. I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of loving myself.
I’m not suicidal per say, but I do fantasize what it would be like if I had the balls to do it. Normal people are happy they wake up each morning, while I’m disappointed that I do. I wish I could pass in my sleep, or die in a quick freak accident. I don’t dare tell anyone in my life that I think about these things.
It keeps getting worse. My boyfriend and I rescued a dog from a shelter, and I’m a big animal lover, but… not even that has improved my mood.
I try so hard to keep my fake, happy facade around people, while in private I have mental breakdowns and just cry. Im not usually one to cry about anything in general, so this is how I know the depression is getting really bad.
How long can I take this? Im so sick of it all. Sick of living my useless life. All I’m doing is wasting oxygen and taking up space.
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depression
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I just turned 19 not too long who and I feel so empty, lonely, and socially inept. Most teenagers/young adults my age usually go outside, have fun, join clubs and groups, party, drive, play sports, etc. and I just stay home doing nothing but scroll through my phone and sometimes look after my phone. I also stay in room 24/7 and most of them time I feel so depressed and bored and my mind is always in a frenzy. Recently I have been having thoughts and everything is just so complicated.
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aspergers
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My mood is so reliant on my interactions with people
Today at work I was being so so loud and couldn’t focus I literally couldn’t sit still and now I’m hard core thinking everyone will think I’m a freak and Un fit for the job.
Someone asked if I had adhd and I didn’t want to lie so I said yes and now I’m freaking out they will judge me.
I over think every social interaction
This is exhausting as fuck
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ADHD
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My son is on Vyvanse and although we have insurance, it is not covered so we pay in full. The pharmacist at Walgreens told me to use the Vyvanse savings card to help offset the cost. For many months, it saved us $50/month so we paid $299. Our Walgreens has a new pharmacist now and she won't allow us to use the Vyvanse savings card. Her reasoning is that it is for uninsured families and even though our insurance will not cover this prescription, she won't allow us to use the savings card. Last month she made us pay in full. This month she made an exception but after I left, I received a text from the Vyvanse savings plan that Walgreens had deleted our savings card.
I am so confused. Does anyone know if this is true? Is the Vyvanse savings card only for uninsured families?
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ADHD
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I had sleeping thing so some people told me to here rain sound sometimes it helps [https://youtu.be/Aezw7IaZDAU](https://youtu.be/Aezw7IaZDAU) this video really helped me I hope it will help you guys
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ptsd
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A little about myself. I'm a recent college graduate with what most people would say is a good job, with no girlfriend and never have been in a relationship, I live with my parents, go to the gym almost everyday, and with my other spare time I play video games, watch TV shows and movies, or browse reddit, YouTube and Tiktok.
I started streaming an old favorite show of mine, Malcolm in the Middle. It starts to remind me of all the better times back in grade school. The social different types of social groups, trying to be popular, sports teams, the schoolwork being better than work, hanging out with friends, trying to impress girls, and the most important part of all was being given the chance to have a good future.
I feel really scared. I feel like that I'll end up old working pretty much the same job, but with a higher job title and more pay, with no wife, and playing video games and watching shows at home.
I'm thinking, that if I just tried harder back in grade school, I could've attended a good college and done something spectacular after school. If I participated and tried more in more sports and clubs in school I could be working in a more meaningful and fun job. If I just talked to more girls in school, I could have a girlfriend right now. If I participated in social media more, and socialized more I could have more friends that I'm still in contact with. And maybe I would have somebody that I could say is my best friend.
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depression
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I'm suffering from HOCD and occasionally TOCD now and why does it always feels so real despite me knowing its not? Why can't I stop thinking about it like does it mean something? I have low self steem and have low energy which might have a factor in it but sometimes it feels like I might have awekened something very late even though I don't want it at all. I just wanna be a guy who gets girls and ends up marrying one.
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OCD
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What do y’all think of it ?! I take 70 mg a day and it only seems to be slightly touching on very few of my focal points (adhd traits)
Also the duration window for me is about 5-6 hours no matter the dose. I’m guessing that’s why my dr moved me up to 70 per day. She did tell me I could break up my doses prior to this when I was on 40mg she said add another 20mg mid day when the first wears off . Kind of just felt the rest of the day was dragging out with irritable and emotional mood swings just feeling blah.
Now I’m just in 70mg once a day and nothing has changed about my mid day crash except for that it’s more intense .
I see many ppl love this medication and swear by it?! Has anyone ever had a similar response to it as I do? If so what was your next move after that ? Tia 😊
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ADHD
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I cant fucking pretend to be in a good mood everyday at work and school anymore. I customer even pointed it out. He said I really looked like I wasnt feeling it (or something). And thats because im not. I wanted to die since eight grade. Im a freshmen in college now and i still want to die. It doesnt get better and the only escape that I have is death
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depression
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due to some negative side effects, I had my prozac dose lowered last week. since then I've been feeling my symptoms going back to how they were before meds, and I blew up at my friends over how I perceived them as not caring about climate change and they've sort of stopped talking to me. I don't know what to do, I most likely won't be able to get my meds changed for at least another month.
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OCD
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Okay weird question- what kinda of OCD is there? I mean like relationship OCD etc.. could somebody make a list for me (and tell me what it is) because I have OCD but have no idea what kind because it varies so much. Thanks a lot!
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OCD
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I'm not sure how to determine what's considered reasonable and what's over the top in regards to concerns about floor dirt. Specifically dropping items on the floor or else dust from dirty carpets that has gone airborne and spread onto my belongings. While I know that touching the floor won't cause any harm, I'd think most people wouldn't eat spilled ice cream off the floor either because it's generally considered unclean. Various articles I've read haven't helped my mindset, with some saying that dirt tracked in from outside contains fecal bacteria which is now distributed all over the floor. So I'm thinking that anything I put on the floor or that comes into contact with rug dust has various disgusting particles all over it. I don't know how to determine whether I'm being unreasonable with my concerns about rug dirt ending up on my belongings, especially if it's an item I cannot wash easily like a phone or computer. Is it normal to put various belongings on the ground and not worry about it? Or walking barefoot on visibly dirty carpets? How does one know what's a reasonable level of concern and what isn't?
I'm on the verge of no longer using a new laptop after it came in contact with carpet dust. I know nothing will happen if I touch it but I've been having trouble convincing myself it's OK and wash my hands every time I touch it. I've stopped using numerous items that I've dropped on the floor if there wasn't an effective way of cleaning them (electronics, paper, etc.) I'm less concerned about getting infected from germs and more so about the presence of small particles of unknown (and possibly disgusting) origin. I know it's unreasonable to abandon an item if it's fallen on the ground, but if I'm not able to wash it, wouldn't it be as dirty as the floor?
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OCD
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been depressed since like 10 years ago.. the depression and anxiety I have its happen gradually through the years. Now I have no interest and lately it keep getting worse. I dont feel like doing anything at all. It kinda feels like I don't want to wake up the next day After going to bed. Also its like there is something in my chest that sometimes make me hard to breath and my body feels shaky too. I hope we all gonna make it..
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depression
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Last night I saw my ex having fun at a club and it triggered me to the point of forcing myself to vomit. Even though I’m not fat, I still see myself as fat. I just don’t want to eat so I can be thin, unfortunately I feel like i’ll never be thin. Since the beginning of 2020, I lost over 100lbs, but it left me with excess skin around my belly area. Even though I’m thinner, I’ve felt so unattractive with that extra skin. I’ve been told that even if I worked out, my skin might be to the point to where I’d need surgery instead. It frustrates me so much…then seeing my ex, who wears clothes just a size or 2 bigger than me, who wears a small, who looks attractive, I feel like I can’t compete. An 8 year, toxic relationship left me with bad ptsd, so I feel like I’ll always be fat and ugly…
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depression
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Lately I’ve been really, really wondering, if it is even possible for me, who has OCD, to find love. I am 26 years old, but I have yet to be in a relationship because of certain reasons (maybe I can share if someone cares enough to PM me 😐)
That being said. I do believe in recovery, and that this is not the status quo for the rest of my life. However, I dunno if I’m deceiving myself, that i *deserve* to be loved, that I can recover. Cuz right now, I really really really want to be loved and cared for by my friends, my potential partner etc. I have the love of my parents, and yet I still feel ignored by society.
Haha well look who’s going off tangent… anyway, thanks for hearing me pour my heart out. Hope all of you guys are continuing to fight for happiness. Don’t let anyone tell you if you don’t deserve of anything good :)
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OCD
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Do you not?
It feels like it might as well be considered a part of my personality. It's basically a part of everything else. My daily life and every other aspect of my life.
What's the point. It'll never change. No one gives a shit. And the only people who do give a shit have no idea what to say because they know just as well as I do that there's nothing that can be done to fix this never ending nightmare. A nightmare no one else wants to know exists. I might as well be invisible or hated for being such a god damn problem.
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ptsd
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The video I am sharing goes into the TPN(Task-Positive Network) and DPN (Default-Mode Network) of our minds. Understanding these parts of mind can help people with ADHD with a coping mechanism I learned from the video. I thought sharing this subject matter could potentially help some people on here.
https://youtu.be/fGMy4FDGUek
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ADHD
|
My mom signed me up for a social group without my consent and I need advice on how to get through this
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aspergers
|
I’ve been struggling with rocd and I don’t know if it can cause and/or fake jealousy and insecurity.
An example of this is that me and my girlfriend were playing twister with our friends and I felt uncomfortable with the idea of her being close to one of our guy friends in the game.
I want to know if ocd can cause this or if it’s something else I need to sort out
If anyone has experience with rocd please let me know
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OCD
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Does anyone ever been broken up with due to rocd? My now ex boyfriend did it 3 times before and always came back. He suffers with rocd and intrusive thoughts and did it again the other day and I don't know how I should deal with it because when this happens I never know if he will or not come back and it is so difficult to me. Please help
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OCD
|
Do you also have problem eating food whilst on medication?
Most of the time I have to force myself to eat something, and sometimes if its not tasty enough, i might not even eat it. If i dont take the meds sometimes, i deffinitley feel the difference and I consume considerably more food. I work in the office now so I have some nuts and fruit on my desk and i try to snack on that because otherwise i never feel like i want to go and eat a big meal.
Do you also have this problem? How do you deal with it?
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ADHD
|
TW: race
Hey y’all. I am here to admit that I have race pure ocd. I’m struggling a lot with this.
It all kind of started with the rise of the black lives matter movement to be honest. I have been very mindful of the people of color in my life and so much so that the mindfulness has turned into this. I think of what I shouldn’t do and my brain has to say it. Then that thought rolls in my mind for hours. To the point where I am convinced that I actually think it. For example, one of the biggest intrusive thoughts I get is “what if you said the n word” and my brain actually says the word over and over again and I am worried because I am thinking about it that I’m actually going to say it. Which would be very harmful to my friends who are black. That one word is separating me and losing my friends. But my brain wants me to say it. These intrusive thoughts have made it very uncomfortable to go outside or to even see my friends.
These thoughts are opposite of how I actually feel and I’m so scared of my own thoughts. It also doesn’t help that I also have bipolar disorder so at times I am fully convinced people can hear my thoughts.
I really don’t know where to start to get help with this. I was officially diagnosed with ocd this week. It feels relieving but I’m also scared these thoughts are going to go on forever.
Please if anyone knows of how I can start getting help for this I would love to hear any advice. Thank you.
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OCD
|
I'm usually very good at covering my PTSD in public, but today at work I couldn't remember where I was, or why I was even there. My confusion bought on a panic attack, and I'm ashamed that my manager saw me in this state. In all honesty, I don't even know how I got home, I don't know if I even told my manager I was leaving - I just don't want my coworkers to see me as a freak, and am worried this may have done it. Seems superficial when I type it out, but I know what people can be like, thats why I try and hide as best as I can. Sadly, I think today's events will mean another trip to the doctors office, to get a check up.
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ptsd
|
You love the relief. When you finish a ritual, and you feel the wave of relief, that everything is now okay, it is fantastic. You're addicted to relief. You're addicted to simply feeling sure that everything is okay.
If you stop listening to your brain, and move on, you are going to experience an immediate withdrawal. Unlike being addicted to recreational drugs, the withdrawal from OCD is instant in its onset, but short-lived. It can all end, in one extremely anxious and fearful moment, if you stop listening, and move on.
This is a behavioral problem, and the solution is known. All imaging studies of OCD show a return to normal with this change in behavior; not listening, and moving on. It can all end. You can have your life back. Exposure to the obsession, followed by moving on, not only not performing the compulsion and waiting for the anxiety to subside, because that does not work, but physically moving on and forcing your brain to move on to the next activity; this will set you free. Exposure, followed by preventing a response by moving on, is the cure.
You cannot run away from your own brain. You may as well stop wasting your limited time on earth trying to do so. Face your fears.
The relief of completing a ritual does not compare to the feeling of forgoing a ritual.
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OCD
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today i went and got tested for stds, which was kinda unessecary in the first place, but I couldn't sleep and my brain wouldn't shut up about the fact that I had all sorts of things and I was going to die. Now I'm worried that the examination tools might have given me an infection and I'll die from that.
Honestly I can't do this anymore
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OCD
|
I’ve had 4 triggering events this week. 4. Each were quite significant. I’ve gotten through it, until now. It’s Friday, I feel like I’m holding in a guttural howl that wants to vent itself into the universe. The noises in my head, I can’t differentiate from the world. My chest hurts. The noises in my head, the distance, I am so far yet right here. My chest. My breath. I’m drinking. I didn’t all week, but I can’t be in this body anymore. I just want the blissful release from my thoughts that the alcohol and benzodiazepines offer. I hate this.
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ptsd
|
Is anyone capable of dating and/or marrying while having OCD?
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OCD
|
I posted part of what happened during my tortured stay at St. Rose. Is it okay that I posted a part 2, because otherwise I couldn’t tell my experience. If I did something wrong I’m sorry. I just want to post everything that happened. It’s cathartic.
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ptsd
|
I struggle a lot with my social life , which made me analyze every bit of other people's behaviour to learn how to attract people into socializing with me , i found out the best way is to have a sense of humour , the problem is that i can't crack a single joke , and sometimes i just go " oh so that's the joke" to a joke i heard a week earlier .
So people with aspergers who does know how to joke around and have fun with people , how do you do it ? i think sarcasm is really what many of us need to have a better life , but learning it is really hard .
Does this make sense to any of you , am i being foolish and should i work on other aspects of my personality ?
give me your best tips , also sorry for my english .
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aspergers
|
I don’t have an ADHD diagnosis (I have a bipolar diagnosis I’m not entirely convinced by) but the more I read about ADHD the more I recognise myself in it. Though I never feel like it’s “enough” to justify a dx.
One area where I feel like I don’t match what I’ve read at all is lateness. I’m rarely late because I almost always _massively_ overcompensate, and turn up at least 30 mins if not an hour early to things. I once turned up two hours early for a job interview (that admittedly was a big train ride away) and had to just wander round an industrial park for ages. I’m not sure if this is overcompensating developed because of a recognised deficiency or if it’s just something else entirely.
So my question is: do other people on here find that they turn up ridiculously early to stuff? Or is lateness pretty much universal in ADHD people?
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ADHD
|
one second it tells you one thing, once you’re sure of that thing, it tells you another, makes you doubt, then you doubt, then you’re sure again, but in reality, it’s all a fucking illusion trying to mess with your head. that’s how i know it’s bs because the thoughts are never consistent. once you’re reassured, it moves onto the next thing 😭
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OCD
|
I accidentally went off my meds for a month & went through one of my phases where I completely indulge in my ocd (which is that I say phrases to make my bad thoughts & emotions go away).
And mannnnnnnnnnn does it NOT work. Like in my head I think alright OCD we'll try it your way & immediately I realize how much worse it makes everything. But if I can avoid my emotions for 30 seconds I'll give it a go because they are so strong. Sometimes the emotions are so strong I feel like I'm almost blind, like nothing else exists.
And it's kind of crazy because I'll try to reason with myself & say ok just feel this bad emotion now & desensitize yourself so you feel better. But my minds like yeah or I could say "I hope I die" outloud in a public place 5x & dodge the emotion & repeat that all day.
When I was on my medicine & really working hard to stop my phrases I was kind of shocked at how second nature they came to me. Even if I didn't have the thought I would say "I hate myself" just out of the blue like I was possessed. It felt like well I haven't said anything for awhile so just in case??? And I would sit there like this is F-ed up.
Just a late night wondering who else is like me.
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OCD
|
yesterday I lost my balance and fell in the grocery store. that's not that big of a deal (unless of course I keep falling), but what I didn't expect was the ptsd response that resulted from the bruises and cuts that were caused by the fall.
I was doing so well. now I feel like I'm back to square 1. nightmares, agitation, panic. everything is the enemy and everyone would be better off if I didn't keep ruining their lives.
therapy is out of the question for the main reason of if you can't work with a therapist don't waste the money.
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ptsd
|
When you see compulsions online on OCD google photos, most people are seen washing their hands,
my last psych said i didnt have ocd because he observed no compulsions such as hand washing which is bullshit. OCD isn't a stereotype.
​
all 4 other psychiatrists agreed i had OCD.
​
this post is not about me, but can compulsions also be considered as reassurance seeking, and not just washing your hands or counting blocks or books? or needing to check the door.
For example, can you have an obsession about a sickness? and than use the internet to somehow reassure you, that you do not have the illness, and feel you need to do this over and over, is that considered a compulsion too?
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OCD
|
this is not a rhetorical question. my compulsions take up the entirety of my day, every day. nothing is ever a simple task!! most of them are nonsensical too and they cause me SO much stress and anxiety. however, i hardly have any intrusive thoughts, so i have no idea what all these compulsions are battling!! has anyone else experienced anything like this, and if so, do you have any advice??
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OCD
|
Honestly it’s quite refreshing for me to finally see a movie this summer. We’ve haven’t been at a theater since may and it’s gonna be nice to finally go back and see a movie again. Also if anyone’s curious it’s that new movie called “Old.”
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aspergers
|
I’ve been having such a hard time with speaking and writing. I stumble over my words in about 90% of the conversations I have or forget the word I want to say and then completely lose track of what I’m saying altogether. In writing I’m all over the place. No complete sentences, changing topics mid-paragraph, improper use of words and punctuation unless I spend time double checking before I hit send. I’m 24 and I’m feeling very embarrassed especially in a professional setting or out in public. I seem to be a bit better with speaking when I’m talking to someone I’m comfortable with (my mum, best friend, partner) does anyone else experience this issue and have any tips they want to share?
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ADHD
|
So dog hairs get stuck on the soles off my feet and it’s painful. Not kidding. Can’t get them out or see them without a bright light and tweezers and can’t walk properly with a dog hair in my foot. Also had the old iPhone earbuds and the tiny hole on the inside hurt like hell. Maybe neurological issues have an effect on the skin. Many off us are baby faced and get weird aches and pains. Certain muscles stretch very easily while others get locked in place almost. The tip toeing and weird walking.. Am I imagining things?
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aspergers
|
Does anyone else talk to their pets and that brings you enjoyment?
I especially like when you say “treat” or “outside” and the ears perk up on my dog. It’s interesting because I am teaching my dog to be bilingual since my wife is Spanish speaking (the dog was hers and then became ours) but it’s a little awkward saying phrases in public that people around us don’t understand 🤣🤣🤣🤣 like “venga” which means come here
|
aspergers
|
i think that's where I'm at. (small vent ahead but i'll say the bulk for my therapist.)
i feel like people can sense negative energy from depression after a while and then gradually disappear from you. the general mantra you hear is surround yourself with positive energy but then by default people with depression drag people down as they're going through problems and don't want to be possibly associated with people with depression.
i don’t offload that on other people or if i do i make sure to respect other peoples boundaries as i have my therapist, have my outlets for relieving negative energy, but not quite sure what else to do.
i'm at a point where i'm comfortable doing stuff by myself. i do the usual...i workout, read, and explore hobbies i'm into all by myself. i just wish i had company of others. i don't want friends out of pity, but just want to feel some sense of joy/comeradery with others again really.
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depression
|
There are a lot of male rape survivors (where the predator is a woman) that don't come forward. As one, do you mind sharing your two cents as to why? For me, it's because I was never taken seriously, even by therapists. Do you have a story? I want to hear it, I want more males to tell their stories.
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ptsd
|
I recently paid for another Disney+ subscription, and I honestly can't watch any of it. I get so anxious looking at the menu of items to watch. I'll just click on Lion King, and for some reason my brain wants to make excuses not to watch it, like "it'll just be a waste of time", or "I've already seen this 1000 times", or "I'll just end up focusing soley on little tiny details that make no sense and not pay attention to any of it, so it'll be a waste of time". When I play video games, nothing really matters as much, I can just focus on mining stuff in Minecraft or playing a fighting game or whatever.
I also don't feel the same way with YouTube. I watch a ton of OneyPlays, memes and flash animations and I don't feel bored at all watching them. I think it's easier for me to digest something that's like up to 5 minutes long vs a 120 minute movie.
...It honestly feels like I'm a mental patient now that I'm saying this out loud.
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aspergers
|
I’ve had a number of wet dreams related to some of my sexual fixations that keep me up at night.
There’s this part of me deep down that knows the only reason why I’m experiencing these dreams is because it is my worst fear.
Regardless, it feels like the worst possible form of torture, and I’m always wondering how other people deal with the subject matter of these disturbing sexual dreams.
|
OCD
|
Anyone else here suffer from both ADHD? I'm not on medication for either at the moment and was wondering what people's experiences were regarding them.
I used to be on medication for OCD but they killed my sex drive or made me sleepy so I stopped, since they also didn't really help my compulsions.
I've never been on ADHD meds but I've heard it can make OCD worse, has that been anyone else's experience?
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ADHD
|
A few months back I nearly died, I’ve recover physically but I see that i’m living in 2 hells, at night when I sleep I have nightmares so I don’t sleep and during daylight hour I function in an insane society that feels like it’s about to collapse
How does one want to continue living like this
|
depression
|
This technique is really helpful when dealing with intrusive thoughts:
[https://medium.com/@ocdasmr1234/coping-with-intrusive-thoughts-ball-in-a-pool-metaphor-8cab95f78264](https://medium.com/@ocdasmr1234/coping-with-intrusive-thoughts-ball-in-a-pool-metaphor-8cab95f78264)
|
OCD
|
So my OCD takes the form of extreme perfectionism, even if it means something is perfectly imperfect. I'll sit there and rearrange something over and over again until it looks "right." Even if there are things in the trash that don't look right, I'll almost pick them up and drop them back in until it looks good enough. I know that the trash will be incinerated in days time, but it doesnt matter.It interferes with my job which is an issue because my job requires speed.
Anyway, at home my room is in complete disarray. My bed isn't made at all, I have clothes piled up on my seat. There's shit all over my desk. I have plastic bags everywhere that I haven't bothered cleaning up. Does anyone else have something like this? Another thing to note is that I have also been diagnosed with melancholic depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder, but the last one is pretty vague.
|
OCD
|
So context, i liked a girl and she rejected me and my overthinking lead me to feel like i'm not good enough for love at all cause all i do is make shit complicated and confused. No one really likes to talk with me about anything deep as most surface level things are just dull for me and i dont got the best in the looks department either. And i just cant give up cause my parents are emotional children who cant do shit without fighting with each other and i have to deal with them.
So when will someone prove me wrong when i get the slightest hint of their love, i dive in head first to find out i dove into concrete?
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depression
|
Hello,
I am going to grad school in Southern California and it is bright and sunny all the time. Every day I come home from school, I find myself absolutely exhausted from the experience of commuting. I think the sunlight really impacts me because I not only have to walk about 2 miles per day, but I also have to wait for the bus and metro in the very bright sun.
The other past few weeks, I was having too much social contact (ie talking to people in between classes and messaging people on Facebook, in addition to meeting people 1 day of the week). I am used to social contact once every two weeks max, and I had a hard time adjusting. Since school's started I have scaled back on the 'chats' between classes and I don't eat lunch with people anymore, because I found that I get exhausted.
I also find myself really overwhelmed with my backpack and having all of my things for school. (Right now my backpack has too many pockets and it's driving me insane).
The thing that gets me, is that I have been so exhausted from commuting to school and being at school, that I don't find I have the energy to write. But I also know that I push really hard and maybe don't give myself enough time to recharge (don't know how to do that lol).
Does anyone else have these problems? How do you cope with school and sensory overload? What are strategies you deploy to avoid having too much sensory overload?
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aspergers
|
This might sound crazy but I was wondering where my mom was and then I opened a water bottle and it cracked and I thought do I want to crack my mom to death. Later I was eating a sandwich and I thought should I just go in there and crack her and It really bothered me and I was wondering if that was an intrusive thought or I thought the thought to see if I would enjoy doing that to make sure I wouldn't. Then later I was at a light an a thought slipped into my mind of "I would sell my soul if this arrow turns green" and of course it did. Does anyone have any tips to manage these horrible thoughts about harming family and just intrusive thoughts in general.
|
OCD
|
My OCD and intrusive thinking has gotten horrible lately and I can't stop it. I haven't been to the therapist in about a year because I thought I was stable. But things have gotten so much worse now and I don't know why. Yesterday, my mom came into my dorm and laid down on the bed. I felt disgusted and angry at her for lying there and lashed out and we had a bad argument. The truth is, I hate people (besides sexual partners) lying on my bed. It makes me uncomfortable, especially when it's a relative. Then I feel like I can't lay down on that bed for sexual purposes because a relative of mine was sitting there and I get horrible intrusive thoughts about this. When this happens, I get the urge to take off all the sheets and wash them before laying back down. How can I deal with this? It's driving me crazy.
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OCD
|
I woke up to get ready for work and the girl I was talking to **and** said the *L word* to posted on her Snapchat story that she misses her ex, and still texts him.
I was doing really good after going through a lot of failed relationships and then this happens. I feel used. I can't go on with constantly feeling like my efforts go down the drain girl after girl.
|
depression
|
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