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I have such a deep sense of sadness, loss and loneliness. It's with me constantly. I do my best to distract, to run, to hide. I fool myself. At the end of the day though, I was raped and made into a sexual pet by my "father", then I was just with my mother as her only child. She loved me for several years before she also began abusing me. It was very very bad and pushed me to a suicide attempt at 9yo. This let to me being taken away by CPS (THANK GOD). I then bounced from foster homes and eventually was adopted a couple years later by an emotionally unavailable and emotionally manipulative family.
I was rescued from hell but never got the help I needed as a child.
Now here I am. No wonder I feel deep sadness. My parents all failed me in extraordinary ways.
I wasn't even treated as *human* for years.
No wonder it's hard for me to cry. I wasnt allowed to feel for years.
Why?
What did I do to deserve this?
As a kid I saw other families and the way they loved each other. How *safe* the kids would feel with their family. I felt such immense envy and sadness every time.
There is no God. I prayed to anyone out there when the monsters preyed on this innocent sweet child. I shouted out to anyone to save me, to make it stop, to help me!
Fucking nothing.
Fuck my adopted mom who said "God has a plan for me". Was this his plan? Was this to help me be "stronger"? Are you fucking kidding me mom? I didn't need to be strong. I needed to be safe.
I just needed to be safe.
I don’t know how or if I will ever be "good".
I don’t feel completely hopeless, but I'm not good at taking care of myself. Right now i have a gf who, through her i can love myself more, but if and when she leaves, because everyone in my life has left, I dont know what I will do.
Dear God, please let me die young, because you've left me a life that might be hardly worth living in just a little while.
|
ptsd
|
Hello everyone,
My name is Ly, 25M. Quarter through my life and I feel like I've gotten to a place where I can function and feel the **emotion of happiness.** I only want to share my story as a beacon of light, and also offer some science-based recommendations to potentially help anyone out just a little bit with their mental health. Here's my story:
​
I was born in Vietnam and immigrated to Ontario, Canada at the age of one. I grew up in an immigrant Asian family who was able to provide for me, so not much I can complain about on that end. However, certain life choices that lead to life styles in my younger years set me up for mental health issues/addiction/substance abuse for the coming years. I started playing video games at a young age, and was hooked instantly. I would spend every waking hour on my gameboy, and eventually computer. The effects of chronic video game addiction were subtle at first, but became more apparent as I grew into a young adult. Idk if I had an addictive personality from the beginning, but I realized I got hooked on stuff really quickly and was really impulsive. I think my mental/physical health started to tumble when I was 13 years old. I didn't really realize this until recently, but that was when my grandmother died. She took care of us a lot growing up so I might have been too young to realize how much she really meant to us. I started developing eczema, anxiety issues. When I was 14, I exhibited symptoms of a typical hypochondriac which eventually spiralled out of control. Specialist appointments, urgent care/ER visits because "I thought something was wrong with me." OHIP on the edge of dropping my ass.
​
95 average student, athlete of the year for 3 out of 4 years of high school, valedictorian, dating a hot girl, I was the man in high school. However, when I started studying at McMaster, things started to go downhill. Obviously school was harder but I could manage. The problem was my girlfriend and my video game addiction popping its head back out of the grave. I started prioritizing gaming over her and wasn't spending much time with her. I was also kind of stressed cuz of her because she brought bed bugs over to my house and I think I had a problem with black mold too. All these problems kind of compounded and she broke up with me, DURING EXAMS. I had a 3.9 average in my first semester of second year, but ended up not studying for my exams and failing them all because of this girl. Ended up with 60s and 70s that term...
​
The january following our breakup, I lowered my course load, stopped going to school, and was hooked on gaming again. I didn't leave my house for 3 months? Then, I reconnected with some friends in high school and we started hanging out. I think this was a good time in my life because I never really connected with school friends like that although I had alot of chances growing up. I was introduced to drinking, smoking weed, popping molly.. My addictive personality (which is likely a result of my addictive habits growing up compounded by a nutrient-lacking diet, and substance abuse). The alcohol and drugs didn't help when my body was subpar. I was binge-drinking so much to the point that I actually caught shingles as a 20 year old. My eczema was also at an all time worse when I was drinking alot.
​
Fast-forward, I graduated university in April 2020 when COVID was first starting. I didn't have a job right afterwards, and I got waitlisted then rejected from grad school. I honestly didn't know what to do with my life. So instead I used all my savings and blew it all on dumb shit.. I'm talking ounces of weed a weed, hookers, reckless investing... Family life was poor because I started smoking weed at home and asian parents view it as a hardcore drug. I also got into a relationship with an international-student who eventually moved in with me and my family.. That was a nightmare. When we eventually broke up and she left, I was probably in the worst shape mentally ever. I wouldn't be able to sleep properly and I would just sit there all day ruminating on my past..... Then I started working at a warehouse, recommended by a family member. This job requires alot of walking and light labour throughout the day which is actually a part of my "recovery." As I started working again, I was spending my time doing something useful and also being reintroduced to society after a year and a half of COVID lockdowns. I started eating healthier (no processed sugar, minimal processed foods, alot of whole foods, well-researched supplements -- sample diet below), weed IN MODERATION, drinking tea and/or coffee with no additives (so green tea alone, or black coffee) and the gym. All these things collectively improved my sleep as a whole so that definitely sped up my "recovery." Smoking or ingesting weed with a combination of THC and CBD seems to be the most effective for those with mental issues IN MODERATION. The supplements I take on a daily basis are: magnesium glycinate, vitamin D because its winter, probiotic, and sometimes fish oil when I didn't eat enough omega 3 foods in the day.
​
Before: overthinking, no confidence, low testosterone, erectile dysfunction, socially awkward, skinny, didn't fear death because it seemed better than living, would wanna sleep to avoid reality because the dream world was more fun, single
Now: focus on myself, good libido, talking to people and women with confidence, more built, looking forward to doing things in life and fearing death, feeding the homeless and interacting with them, flirting with a cute girl
​
This is by no means a way of gloating, but sharing a personal story with some educated opinions and facts included. I hope this can help you in some way as there is always something you can do everyday to improve your mental/physical health.
"" recovery is used in brackets because depression is a spectrum. I'll never be fully cured but I will get to a point where it no longer stops me from enjoying my life.
​
Comment below with your story or if you wanna interact with me on the topic of mental health.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Food recommendations:
WHOLE FOODS -- eat it in its most natural state when pulled from the ground or whatever they do. E.g potato, sweet potato, broccoli, kale, carrots, cucumbers, avocado, blueberries, oranges, almonds, cashews, eggs, meat cooked in olive oil
Supplements:
pure encapsulations -- magnesium glycinate ONLY 120mg
" " -- vitamin D3 1000IU
jamieson probiotic
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depression
|
Just genuinely curious, though I have no intention of making my thinking or washing worse in any way. It's interesting for me and trying to see how some of it can build up, ect. Knowing this won't let us stop developing anything though, needless to say.
So technically it is possible (mostly intentional), but to what extent? Can you really bring something new into your obsessions and encourage it to build up? Then at some point you won't have control over it (otherwise ocd can be countered with "just don't do the thing" or so)
You could try raise fear of it and paranoia, which can cause possible rituals or your brain beginning to show symptoms of said thing if applicable. Not within a short period of time
But how would one make that happen?
Obviously it can be unintentional picking up things, but perhaps it has a pattern that actually makes it work. Unless you can't if it's "fully" willing, because it could be that you have a stronger mind in that moment.
Thoughts?
|
OCD
|
Yesterday I had to leave my house cuz my mother and I had an argument and she just wouldn’t leave it alone. Afterwards I called a friend who kinda hurt my feelings earlier that day and the first thing I did was address why I was upset at them cuz it didn’t feel right just acting like I wasn’t hurting. So I did and they didn’t give me anything to work with and just said they think I should go back. Afterwards I hung up and started having suicidal thoughts. I felt like I quite literally had nowhere to go. I wanted to just disappear.
Everyone keeps telling me the same things and I feel like they’re never really listening so what’s the point. When you try to tell someone what’s going on they start to assume things and say, “well that’s what it sounds like to me”. Idk if I’m just being stubborn or maybe im jus going crazy cuz that’s what it feels like sometimes. But idk if I’m in the wrong or not and that’s worse. I’d rather just not be here then be in constant battle with family friends and myself…
|
depression
|
this is kinda dumb but now i’m thinking that i found a kid adorable and cute but i didn’t find the other kids cute (IN A NON SEXUAL WAY), and then i am wondering, does that make me creepy? is it weird to think some kids are adorable and other kids are... not adorable? does that mean i’m preying on them??
i have POCD and as a compulsion when i see kids i will have to say “aw that kid is cute” to reassure myself it’s not sexual. before i didn’t think anything of this, i didn’t even like kids that much before but i could recognize adorable kids in the same way i thought cats and dogs were adorable (like in a parental way)
|
OCD
|
I’m a melancholic person ever since. Always had a certain sadness surrounding me since I was a kid and I constantly felt some sort of melancholy, be it heartbreak, existential crisis’ etc. Sometimes I enjoyed the pain.
This feeling increased due to bad stuff happening around the world which made me think whats the point. Also a recent breakup poses questions such as, every persons broken and how should I know I am going to marry the right person.
Now I cannot remember when was the last time I was happy. Not just laughing with friends, but enjoying life, loving what I do and who I am.. I don’t want to spend my life unhappy and indifferent.
|
depression
|
Hi everybody,
I’ve been taking Vyvanse 50 mg for a few years now after taking Vyvanse 40 mg for years before that. It never occurred to me to take it before I eat breakfast. I figured like any other drug that is broken down quickly (alcohol, caffeine, etc.) it’s best to take it after eating. I just read on Vyvanse’s website that it supposedly can be taken with or without food. I’d like my Vyvanse to kick in quicker, but I hate the feeling of “tweaking” I get when I’m hungry on Vyvanse.
From personal experience, what does everyone prefer?
I’ve heard anecdotal evidence of Vyvanse lasting longer if you take it with food, but not having effects for hours and sometimes not being able to sleep because of it kicking in too late.
I’ve also heard anecdotal evidence of Vyvanse kicking in quicker and lasting just as long even if you take it an hour or two before breakfast. But I’ve also heard of people throwing up after taking stimulants on an empty stomach (I’ve heard this mainly about adderal, not Vyvanse).
For me, I’d be taking it either immediately before or immediately after breakfast, I eat breakfast every day right after I wake up. I’ve only ever vomited after taking Vyvanse when I definitely overate during breakfast and took Vyvanse immediately after.
Any experiences, advice, or tips would be helpful! Ive also heard of people not taking the pill but opening up the capsule and drinking it in water. Anything outside of the box that works for you like that is welcome.
|
ADHD
|
In school I love science and my entrepreneurship class and have 95+ in both classes. However in my English and math classes I can’t focus at all and my grades suffer as a result. I have a 63% and a 75% in English. I try to force myself to focus in math and I get a hard to describe sensation in my brain. It’s like my brain is burning but it’s not painful. This attempt at focus usually lasts less than 10 minutes. In English my main issue is turning in long writing assignment. I have been trying for years now to break them up into bits and pieces and working on a little day to day however I never actually follow through with these plans. When it comes to the night before the essays are due I try to write them but I just don’t have the stamina to write more than a paragraph at a time.
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone,
I don't know how else ask this other than just say this, how did you ask for help because I can't do this because I don't want to be a burden to anyone and I act ,, normally'' but for the last few months it has been too difficult and I feel myself breaking down. I'm alone in this and my mind is blocking me from asking for help . I want to stop existing or for this to stop
|
depression
|
Hey first thing I guess I need to say is TW and second I’m not too familiar with what PTSD is and if it fits my situation but just wondering if I need to look into it? I’m 20M
At a young age I was abused physically by my dad up to age 10 or so then he went to jail when he finally got in trouble (well a little trouble) by children’s services.
To keep a long kinda gross story short as possible I had to move in with an uncle along with my mom and was sexually abused pretty much daily for a number of years (till I was 17)
I am 20 now and dealing with a lot of the physical things it caused, I had a few broken bones that were never treated and have to have surgery on my arm. Also because I did not eat a lot it caused a stunted development so I’m im also seeing a endocrinologist to help with that.
Is PTSD something that develops from a relatively fast traumatic experience or can it develop over an event that lasted most of your life? Like I feel happy and rarely get depressed but at times I have some anxiety that one of them will locate me. I left my home at 17 and keep very little contact with my mom, who is not going to get mother if the year anytime soon. I also stay off social media (not counting Reddit) for fear of being found.
Should I seek out some kind of PTSD consoling or is there an area that would be better equipped? I have days I feel like I’m a mess but generally I’m okay. But this is a dark secret for me and have not told anyone about the sexual abuse and few know about the physical abuse.
Thanks so much and thanks for sharing your experiences it has helped me a lot!
|
ptsd
|
I’m not posting here to seek reassurance, I just don’t want to be alone in this instance of resisting a compulsion.
I have an irrational fear of getting ill and sometimes when I’m really anxious that I might get ill from eating ill make myself sick so the food is no longer in my body. This obviously is unhealthy for numerous reasons.
I have had a Chinese tonight and one of the chips tasted buttery for some reason. I’m vegan and have been for about a year so it’s likely I am intolerant of dairy now. I’m worried I will get ill from this and I want to throw up but I also know this isn’t good for me and so I am trying to ride the anxiety wave.
|
OCD
|
The apartment she lives in triggers her all the time and I started to fully grasp the severity of the illness. It's draining me as well to be around her while she is suffering. I am always there for her and want to be there for her. I told her to get therapy but it was to expensive she claims and she says that she can do it all by herself.
I've been giving in to her reassurance seeking thinking it was ok, but now looking back it at I know was just aiding the illness.
She claims that this won't transcend when we move in together, but I doubt it.
I won't leave her I will stick with her, but what else can I do? Therapy is the biggest thing to help her.
She makes me go thru the cleaning rituals every day. I can't even open the refrigerator, get in the shower, touch the cabinets etc.
Can anyone explain what's going on in her head and how can I help her? Thanks.
|
OCD
|
You wanna stay in bed all day but you know that will make things worse. Every task takes a tremendous amount of effort because not only are you doing the tasks but you're fighting the thoughts and emotions that are telling you to just shutdown. Once the tasks are complete you try to sleep the rest of the day off but there's only so much sleep your body can take. Even just lying down can feel like climbing a mountain because what's worse than doing something is doing nothing and being stuck with your thoughts. You'd distract yourself but nothing's interesting. Really your just wondering how many more days of this can you take. Wondering which will end first: the depression or your life.
|
depression
|
Motion Designer/Video editor/Videographer here. I spent the last two years earning an MBA through my work. I currently earn $51,500 before taxes ($36,000 take home after taxes, healthcare, 401k contribution etc.) and I work from home. Currently have $56,000 in a 401k, $2,800 in stocks on Robinhood, about $4,500 in an Roth IRA, $2,800 in the bank account and no debt. I will be turning 30 in April of next year.
I feel like I should be much farther ahead in life than I am. I desperately want to buy a house and begin growing a better life for myself. Tired of renting the same 550 sq. ft. in-law suite I've been living in since 2015. Tired of being turned down for job opportunities. I've applied to over 150 jobs. I send personalized cover letters to each job listing and include a note to the recruiter on Linkedin. Three times I got all the way and was denied at the last step for another candidate. Some jobs I've actually turned down because they were not what they advertised or the workplace was clearly toxic. I don't want to trade down, I am looking to move up and get ahead. I just need someone to give me a chance. I am smart, talented, organized, a good communicator, can move anywhere (I have no lease on my place) and am single.
I hate my job. I like the work, but it's a dead end. I've exhausted all possible growth avenues there are there. Since graduating in December 2020, I have spent all of 2021 applying through Linkedin for a new job in motion design. I have over 7 years experience working in an e-learning company creating education videos for accredited universities and 10 years experience freelancing as a motion designer and videographer. I am overqualified for what I do. The turnover here is immense. Everyone of quality who's ever worked at this company has left for better opportunities. The only reason anyone is still there is because it's the best they can do for now or they're waiting for something better to come along.
I know I am just a stranger on the internet, but it feels good to put these thoughts down somewhere. It probably sounds very petulant complaining this much. I'll take agency over my life and try to cultivate some perspective. I'm not doing poorly, just wish I could do better. I have options, and a support network of friends and family. I can do this. I just have to keep on trying and not give up hope. Someday I will buy a good home, and be happy.
|
depression
|
I was verbally, physically, and I believe although my memory is blurred, sexually abused growing up. I bit my tongue and moved out at 18 and since then I have somehow managed to continue to have a relationship with my parents with a lot of distance involved. Every time we come to a point of understanding or they want to do something nice for me, I feel this extreme like, paranoia about what their intentions actually are. I never have trusted their reactions to anything I do but especially since I’ve moved out and they’re no longer a physical threat to me, I feel so anxious and cautious and like I can’t trust them, or even my siblings. This has extended into my friendships and my family friends, like my boyfriends siblings for instance. I love them all very much and I hate that my brain rationalizes everything this way. I feel like everyone has ill motives against me and I feel guilty for thinking that. Has anyone else dealt with this and how do I stop my thoughts from going there?
|
ptsd
|
So I was diagnosed with PTSD after I lost my younger brother to suicide, being the one to find him as he had lived with me, and then having my place broken into, and having my brothers things stolen. We got those things back, but the damage was done.
After the break-in, it left me with extreme paranoia. It’s to the point that I have a hard time leaving the house for more than an hour. I’m so irrationally worried over someone breaking in, even thought I know that statistically and logically there’s nothing to worry about.
I’ve been working with my therapist on how to overcome this, but it’s just not helping. With thanksgiving around the corner, we’re planning to travel to see family, and I’m just freaking out over the idea of the house being empty for more than an hour. It’s bad. It’s to the point I almost don’t want to leave so I can be home. I don’t know to overcome this paranoia.
|
ptsd
|
hi, i'm 15y/o, and i recently discovered that i have symptoms that seem unrelated to my already-diagnosed depression. for example, i have really bad sensory issues (especially sounds), i cannot focus for the life of me (no matter what i do i always seem to find a distraction), and i have maladaptive daydreaming. i'm fairly certain that these aren't related to my depression as i'm doing really well with it,,, mostly.
however, i developed these at different times? i've always been bad with loud noises, but started a couple months ago it's spread to anything from pen tapping to chairs moving to a lot of people talking indoors. The focusing issue started around the same time as my depression started showing (7th grade), and i've been maladaptive daydreaming since 8-9 years old.
very long rant/infodump, but has anyone else not had symptoms until they're older?
|
ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with PTSD a few months ago and my therapist and I have been working towards “reliving” where I will have to go through my trauma as if I am there again.
My therapist has mentioned this is a very effective treatment for PTSD. Has anyone had this kind of therapy before and any tips on what to expect?
|
ptsd
|
So I leave the hotel my mom and grandma do there thing I'm left alone all day with little to no wifi and $200. On my adventure I ment this one guy who was asking for money for charity and it was probably a tourist trap but I gave the dude a 20 but he seemd official. My original goal was the Disney store first but I missed it and got confused as to where the fuck I was. So I then decided to head into a starbucks connect to the wifi and reroute to a book store, so I try to navigate there and I then find it by luck.
Some guy was asking for money but I told him I was broke then proceeded to go and spend $55 on books. I feel I interacted fine yes sir, yes ma'am thank you have a good day. I try and make my way back to the hotel but I get stuck in a little fancy mall and eventually spend $100 on cologne lmao. Before the book store I saw a firestaion I wanted to check out but I was dead set on finding this damn book store. I then found a Halloween store before the mall and it was eh.
After all that was target I brought myself some water and a Gatorade. I then spent an hour trying to find the hotel but I was just straight vibing. I find the hotel go back upstairs message a guy I've been talking to. Overall I was anxious to leave the hotel room and go out on my own and when I did I was glad because now I've got a story to tell. Plus I ment a few cool people, the stair guy who almost stepped in the puke, book store guy and helping me find a specific interest of books I was looking for and I brought both. The $20 guy who told me to stay safe at the beginning of my journey.
My days not even done yet I got a pizza coming and I'm going back out it's only 7.
10/10 would do again but more navigated and prepared.
|
aspergers
|
I never post here I just usually lurk but I just need a place to rant about all this! I go on tiktok pretty often and have noticed that whenever there's a topic about neurodiversity, it never includes people with OCD and it's always ADHD, autism, BPD etc which is fine because they are neurodivergent but then it makes me feel invalidated and that I'm probably just overreacting with my thoughts
|
OCD
|
I feel extremely lonely to the point where I wanna cry myself to sleep I also feel suicidal atm
|
depression
|
Title
​
I am a 19 year old college freshman, and I am like the textbook definition of OCD.
​
​
Why do people treat OCD as something that does not exist?
|
OCD
|
Hello, first time poster here.
I have BP2 and I think I might have a comorbid OCD?
I've read a lot of articles and some of the posts here, I want to ask:
I have intrusive thoughts about a lot of harmful things, some time lasting for weeks and it doesn't go away. I don't have rituals to alleviate the problem but I just go into the scenario of what to do if something like for example: what if my SO decide to break up with me? And my mind start to make up all the fake scenario to try and control the situation like:"you're gonna go back to your mother, find a psychiatrist there, find a part time job, probably not gonna seek another person because you don't really need to, you're not gonna cry about it, it was bound to happen... Ecc...ecc"
Sometimes I need to prepare my mind to go out of the house or need to sit into a specific place or get up otherwise my anxiety goes crazy. I always called it "space anxiety" because I have no idea of what it might be.
If someone knows something about this I would appreciate the help.
I'm on medication for BP and this episodes are really mild but still I find it strange.
It feels like it might be OCD but also it might be anxiety (which I have?)
Sorry for the long post.
(Edit for clarification)
I already talked with my doctor, I just wanted to understand a little bit more about it since we're focusing on my anxiety and Bipolar for now with meds and sessions. I'm obviously gonna weight a lot more his opinion than replays on Reddit.
|
OCD
|
I am a victim of CSA. For the past several years I've had this phantom feeling of my abuser's hand between my legs. I saw in an article it may be an type of flashback but it doesn't have a trigger so I'm not so sure. It happens when I'm on the toilet or in the shower but it also happens any other time randomly. It's very distressing. It's almost impossible to distract myself from it. I haven't seen anyone else mention this kind of thing. Can anyone else relate? Does anyone know what this is, like clinically?
|
ptsd
|
Has anyone else experienced their trauma(s, and you feel ok/are healing, but then more crazy things keep on happening that are unrelated to the first trauma?? In the most eloquent terms, you keep on getting sh*t on.
I’m so tired of this.
|
ptsd
|
I was reading today that teenagers use technology a lot and forget about the real world, and I remembered that I've been like that for years, because I can't leave the house because my father doesn't allow it, so I started to remember that before I started dating I just wanted to start enjoying life, without commitment, make new friends, and hang out with them (with my mom's permission), but then I met my boyfriend and I didn't want to go around wanting to be with others anymore, and when I started to date, leave my few friends aside because I was very focused on my relationship, and sometimes I felt that they judged me and didn't understand me, one told me that OCD is crazy, and for several things I walked away, But the point is I feel like I miss having friends, I want to go out to parties, I want to drink and dance with friends, but I don't want to kiss other people, I feel relief that I don't want to, but I feel like I can enjoy life and the world, i would need to be single, no I want to feel this, because I love my boyfriend, it's been a long time since I've seen any friend or friend, because I walked away, (I walked away from the boys because just talking to them as friends I already felt the ROCD attacking), I think I miss a friend to talk to, but the point is that I don't want to break up for that, I also feel that I want a lot of friends, I want a lot of people to know me
|
OCD
|
To the people who’ve given mindfulness and meditation an honest try—did it work? What specific techniques or practices did u do? What changes did you notice?
|
OCD
|
I am responsible for the death of someone I love very much. Because of an oversight on my part my three year old grandson got out of the house and drowned in my pool. Everyone says "oh it was an accident or it could happen to anyone" Well it was an accident but it could have been prevented had I checked that the latch (which we installed for that very purpose) was locked. I don't know how I am going to live with this guilt and the trauma of finding him and trying to revive him. This only happened 4 months ago. I feel I hurt my son and his family beyond repair. Not only do I grieve for the loss this precious boy but knowing that it was my fault is killing me. I'd like to find a support group for this sort of trauma and guilt.
|
ptsd
|
[**This**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/6dgta7/typing_this_from_a_dream_please_help_me/) is the link to my OG post in this sub
[**This**](https://youtu.be/S2lrtI-65vg) is the link to my latest recovery video
tl;dr/w:
not recovered yet, but its a lot better than when it all started
please if you read this do not stop trying!
|
ptsd
|
I’ve been disassociated literally all day because some fucker thought it would be super funny to just scream for a video or something before my class started. And this shit happens literally all the time and I’m fucking fed up with it. It’s not like this is some obscure ass trigger either like why do people think it’s okay to do this??
|
ptsd
|
I am so done. I was slut shamed almost till when I remember. I was and still am a virgin never even kissed a guy nor can I even flirt I literally have haphephobia (fear of touch). The past story is just too long and I am tired of explaining myself and the story. It hurts it hurts. It's been years and character assassination hurts. The worst part is today my parents did it just because I called 2 guys and 2 girls at my place to study after asking them. Just cause my door was closed they said the filthiest stuff ever cause my neighbor questioned why does she have boys coming at her house. This is not what triggers, the fact that my parents don't trust me, the fact that I am judged by my every move..hurts I am so done I just can't anymore it hurts every vein every beat and every breath. I tried suiciding before I tried everything therapy everything nooooo it hurts they don't get it no one does. I feel useless I feel broken I feel judged I feel dead inside. I just can't do it anymore.
|
depression
|
It just sucks. Something has happened and even if it is a directed act of vandalism against me there is nothing I can do. My camera did not get good pictures of it. Just the last pic before dark of it being good and first light pic of it being damaged. I cleaned the cameras, they are showing the spot clearly now. rasa frasa frickain frackin#$%\^&\*()\_
|
ptsd
|
I don't mean like I hate existing in woman form,. I'm fine with that, but I hate the world does almost nothing to change already. Every fucking day not only do I need to deal with men being insane and staring at me as if I am created just for them and causing flashbacks in public, but because our culture making me exposed to all kinds of bad stuff I wouldn't have to endure if I was a man.
This is just today's example. I accepted one male linkedin connection, and today he sent me simple message hi :). I was little on the edge because usually messages on linkedin go straight to the point but I thought, well, maybe he wants to be extra polite before talking business. I sent him hello :) and the next message I received from him was - do you have an instagram :). I swear this feels like office sexual harassment, or triggers sexism flashbacks I already endured many times. I went into helpless mode right away, and I always have trouble getting out of there. So fucking ridiculous! I can't imagine men receiving something like that. It's repulsive.
Also, today I discovered a new trigger - it's being asked how old I am. It is a trigger purely because it sends me into flashback when I was a girl and sexually abused and felt powerless because I thought men are authority and I thought that I have no right to speak for myself as a little girl. 🤮😭 To this day I have trouble thinking that's NOT how the world is supposed to function.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Ffs, my life is literally shortened because of trauma and all these situations ate making it even shorter with new stress. I want to escape, I am overwhelmed dealing with this non stop. It's insane.
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ptsd
|
Has anyone else had this where you keep wanting to prove to your brain that you still love something or someone? I have a special interest rn and I’m worried that I’ll end up not liking it in the future and I know it sounds silly but it’s really important to me :(( I feel like I keep wanting to mentally check to make sure I still like it or not!
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OCD
|
I’ve had depression to various degrees throughout my life, though I’ve never been seriously suicidal. I guess I’m lucky in that way. I think I can at least partially attribute that to my family support system. I know that if I ever hit rock bottom and just give up on life my parents will be there for me. I know that the worst think that could happen to me is institutionalization (which I know can be hellish for some people, but I’m confident my parents would be careful to pick a place that would actually help and not make me miserable, whatever the financial cost). I’m wondering if there’s anyone in a similar situation, with severe depression without suicidal ideation, and what you attribute that to. Or, for people who are suicidal, do you lack a similar support system? What do you think would help you no longer want to die?
Also, I should mention, I feel like I’m doing a lot better these days, I don’t even know if I still have MDD.
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depression
|
Hi fellow ADHDers,
I am a 40 year-old, married, father of two (soon to be three) and I was just diagnosed with ADHD a week ago. The psychiatrist got me started with a low dose of Straterra (25 mg) last week but so far, I have not seen any significant improvements in attention span, whereas I get really drowsy at certain times of the day and I really feel anxious at times (don't know if the anxiety is related to the meds or not).
I always knew that I was wired differently from other children, and was sort of an outsider, with no social skills to speak of. As I grew older, I became more and more sociable however, when I got to college, I really struggled with courses which required a series of steps to be repeated again and again (like accouting). It was then that I realised that there was something wrong with my brain (but didn't know about ADHD back then).
Since then, I've done relatively well in my career but to be honest, if I were more organised and cruel prioritise more effectively, I would have progressed in my career further. Now that I'm thinking of my own startup, I get anxiety attacks on whether I will be able to handle that kind of stress and the endless list of tasks. I always regret the time t
My question, is what has been fellow redditor's response towards Straterra / other medication, anything I should watch out for? What other resources / tips and tricks for a newly diagnosed middle-aged ADHDer would you guys recommend?
Thanks in advance, this community has been a great resource for me.
|
ADHD
|
I know now how horrible it feels to hear someone use it like that. I used to use a lot of edgy slurs back then. Everyone around me did. They all just meant ‘dumb/bad’ to me. I think in my mind so long as the people it references didn’t hear me say it there was nothing bad about it. A friend of mine had a younger sister on the spectrum and I’d always avoid saying it around him. So clearly I must have known it was bad, but I still did it anyway.
This has been eating me up lately. I feel so horrible about it. I just wanna say I’m really sorry, I know it’s messed up and I can’t take it back but I promise I’ll be better from here on.
|
aspergers
|
It’s awful, because I like closeness but can only be really touchy with my boyfriend. When I stand too close to people, I am constantly terrified I’m going to confess my love for them or kiss them when I don’t want to. It feels shameful, and embarrassing. Intrusive thoughts are the worst,
|
OCD
|
Just looking for hope, kind words, and anyone who would like to share their experiences. I started developing what I believe to be OCD symptoms in 2019. In the spring of 2019, I developed an obsessive fear of raw vegetables and anything uncooked for fear of contamination. Not even washing fruits and vegetables throughly (sometimes for half an hour just standing at the sink, it was dreadful and embarrassing) would calm down my fears. That obsession has since calmed down (thank god), but since then, my other symptoms have progressed. I can’t touch anything someone else has touched without wanting to immediately wash my hands, I have fears of getting extremely rare diseases and infections. If I don’t wash my hands or clean something I feel is contaminated, I won’t stop thinking about it until I wash/clean to my satisfaction. I’m at the point of washing my hands 30+ times a day and often have to wash them in successions of 3, 4, etc. otherwise I don’t trust that they’re clean. I also have developed a repetitive sound sensitivity where if I hear anything such as snapping, tapping, or whistling for longer than five seconds, my head begins to feel hot and I begin to have severe anxiety until the sound ceases. I’m constantly filled with anxiety to the point where I grieve situations that haven’t even happened. There are so many other symptoms I’d be here forever typing them out.
Every time I’ve tried talking to my family about it, they just laugh at me. It all feels so incredibly exhausting and embarrassing. I feel like a complainer and I feel guilty thinking I’m too privileged to be able to even think about or worry about such things. I want to reach out for help from a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I’m scared they’re also going to invalidate me or just try to immediately prescribe me medication, which I’m not entirely comfortable with. It just all feels like a nightmare being stuck in my own head, worrying all the time. Any encouraging words would be wonderful.
|
OCD
|
Does anyone have good books about PTSD/Trauma? I’ve read The Body Keeps The Score, and i’m looking for more.
|
ptsd
|
i think i am pretty fortunate and there’s nothing really stopping me from getting better except for myself so i feel a constant pressure to do better. i think this would drive me but every time i try to do anything at all to take a step away from depression i just can’t imagine living a long life. i have things i want to do later in life but if those are stopped by taking my life i wouldn’t really care. the point is that i don’t think i could have the courage to actually try to kill myself but wow i just cannot imagine being here in like a year. it just seems absurd that i would stay around into my 20s. my 20th birthday is next month and i just can’t see myself growing to be older it just sounds insane and almost laughable. i want to hurt myself and i want to die but i don’t think i can kill myself.
|
depression
|
I'm a 16-year-old male and recently been scared I'm gonna develop schizophrenia even though my family doesn't have it. This all started when I had an auditory hallucination trying to take a nap like hearing my name but no one called me and my first response to this is "I'm developing schizophrenia" I keep going to sleep late because I keep trying to distract myself from it. I even heard something when I'm taking a shower. I keep seeing something in the corner of my eyes like a shower or something black but when I turn around it's just nothing. And just recently I was going upstairs and thought I saw an arm until I notice it was just shoes. I really don't wanna get schizophrenia I could never live my life like that especially when you know your parents are against medicine for mental disorders. Even though i have gad and depression I always think my brain fog is linked to this because its bad I just dont know what to do anymore or who to even tell or talk to about this. I researched this way too much for my own good I think I ruined myself
|
OCD
|
I know that there is a lot actual microdosing section but I still would like to hear about personal experiences. I am a first responder so my ptsd is a result of my profession. I am curious as to how was the first time, what happened, how did it feel, how often you do it, do you have to do it for life? Any side effects, does it help with depression, does it affect exercise, sleep appetite?
Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences I really appreciate it!
|
ptsd
|
So I know ADHD in itself won't get worse and only its impacts worsen through life and get more noticeable, but can executive dysfunction speciffically get worse? I'm 15 now and the struggle I have to "just start" or "just do" stuff is something I don’t think I really had when younger, or if I did, it wasn’t as exhausting as it is now.
|
ADHD
|
I am late diagnosed with ASD ( F84.5, F40, F40.1, F90) and I often thinking about what is an autistic trait and whats anxiety. I laid on my sofa and overthinking like a pro whats happend the past few days and why I am not able to do what i want (i don't know what I really want, but thats another story...FOCUS!!) and suddendly it felt like an overload, how i know, in public situations. I have to cry and can't really say why its so overwelming for me, its just too much for my brain.
So may I can ask you... I am able to get an overload because of my own thoughts?
Thanks for your help.
|
aspergers
|
I’m going through cognitive behavioral therapy (the writing type) and my therapist told me to hand write everything to prevent dissociation. I’ve heard of dissociation but only the most severe types with fugue or losing time etc. I’ve lost time before but I never really thought about it or even knew what it was until a recent job interview I don’t remember actually doing, just going in and coming out. I’m rambling because of insomnia, sorry. I’ve always done this thing where I sit in the back of my head and dispassionately observe my physical reactions to emotional events. Like even if I’m physically sobbing I don’t feel it in my head if that makes sense, I just watch myself cry and keep analyzing the situation and just sort of ignore my body. Is this dissociation? I don’t want to know what to do about it, I’m going to therapy and she’s amazing, I’ve just got a few days before my next session and I’m curious. Because now that I’ve handwritten my trauma narrative I’m not doing that and my brain is fuzzy as fuck and this goddamn hurts. So hopefully actually feeling this can mean the boil is lanced as it were? Anyway, love y’all and I hope your day/night is pleasant and restful.
|
ptsd
|
I lost my grandpa about 2 weeks ago, got involved with an ex and my life is a mess right now.
I'm the most unhappy I've ever been in my entire life, and yet my brain is fully cohesive, clear and able to make intelligent thought.
And all of those thoughts are clouded and negative. This, fucking sucks. I just wanna play guitar, play video games, spend time with my family and have a good night but, nope.
goddammit.
|
depression
|
So my psychiatrist told me he's retiring 6 months ago and in true adhd fashion I've not organised another doctor yet.
Will I have to go through the whole diagnosis bs again?
I really hope not because the only way I got through it last time was my ex. Parents denied I have it the first time I tried and it took 4 more years before I got it confirmed.
No school records, hardly any social circle to vouch for me, I can't go through another 4 years of hell without my medication.
From Australia if that helps.
Thanks everyone
|
ADHD
|
Hello, I am quite unsure of who, where, or how to ask the questions I have so here I am.
Years ago, I suffered from a traumatic emotional event. I knew I was not quite okay after it, but I didn’t have any access to any sort of help or therapy. I tend to downplay my emotions anyway and chock most of them up to my already diagnosed anxiety disorder. So I never really did much by way of trying to heal.
Which brings me to now, several years later. I didn’t really think to consider having ptsd from it until one day I had sort of? An episode? I guess? I’m not sure what to call it. I knew logically I was not where I was before but I still felt unsafe and like I was there again, and was constantly on edge even days after. I still don’t like certain sounds or situations related to the incident (it makes me kind of “itchy”?) That whole thing had me bringing it all up to my SO, who suggested looking into ptsd.
I still don’t know, really, if this is what it is. Part of me - a big, bullying part lol - is convinced that I’m just overreacting, but I owe it to at least my SO if no one else to look into it. They’ve been really great about it all, so I want to try. Buuut I’m poor af. And I can’t afford a therapist, so I’m not sure how to get an official word on it.
Does anyone have any maybe resources for more affordable therapy? Or even sort of like. An idea of how I can go forward? Any advice is welcome. I’m sort of in over my head, it feels like.
Tldr; I’m not sure if I have PTSD or not, and I have no way of going to a professional at the moment. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you:)
|
ptsd
|
Howdy. I’m trying to make this as short and sweet as possible, you don’t really need my entire mental health background lol. Basically I’ve been to therapy on and off since I was 16 and got the one size fits all anxiety and depression diagnosis. I’m 21 now and earlier this year I admitted myself to a hospital because of depression, but I ended up leaving after one night because I didn’t have access to the things I use to ease anxiety. I opted for going to therapy 2 times a week for a month. My problem here is I am 100% certain that I have OCD, but in therapy I felt like I couldn’t say that because they would think I was lying??? The therapy ended before we could actually get into anything other than the general anxiety/depression. I guess what I’m asking is can I go to a therapist and list off my symptoms so we can get this treatment show on the road? I’m sort of equating it to going to a medical doctor after diagnosing yourself, and they hate that. So do therapists also hate that?
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OCD
|
The psychiatrist told me I already have PTSD but they recently followed up with me about the final report and how my therapist can access it. I asked if I could read the report and they said they typically don’t give them out but I could if I want to. Is that bad if I do? Should I?
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ptsd
|
It’s being alone, not lonely. People are often surprised I don’t have trouble with the amount of time I spend in solitude but I honestly enjoy it.
|
aspergers
|
Unless your kid has some poor reaction to the medication, being against medicating your kids honestly just seems like child abuse. If you refused to vaccinate your kids you are an anti-vaxxer. If you refused antibiotics for your kid you are a science denier. But somehow, people are ok with not medicating their kids? So, you don't want to treat their brain problems? How is that not child abuse?
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ADHD
|
Anyone else get told they’re being negative all the time when they start speaking analytically about a subject? Religion, mental health care, school systems, day to day things. Analyzing the issues makes me feel better I don’t feel negative doing it. But I can tell it upsets people and they tell me it does and I’m negative.
|
aspergers
|
Anyone else experience this? It's frustrating, it's like I go into into survival mode, and I keep myself awake the entire night
|
ptsd
|
Over the years I've been struggling with food intake more and more. I hardly find anything appealing anymore, food gets either boring or annoying. I don't like certain structures, tastes, sourness. I don't know. My food intake keeps declining and it's getting worrisome.
It's not that I don't feel hungry, I just don't know what to choose and nothing is really appealing to me anymore. Especially if I have to prepare it myself. If someone makes something I can enjoy it, but take away food is getting boring as well. After the first couple of bites I don't like it anymore.
|
ADHD
|
I went to pee today at 4-5:00am. I saw the figure of a man standing by the door and looked just enough to at least tell myself it was just an unfortunate formation of boxes and lighting. Then, I tried my best to go back to sleep, kind of did, woke up and heard one single gunshot sound. I’ve heard guns before (duh, that’s why this is the PTSD subreddit, right?), but I can’t tell whether I’m being paranoid or it was actually a gunshot. I’m having a hard time sleeping again. Just yesterday I took out my change of lock for the door because I remembered I had bought it, but I wasn’t able to set it up. My door is the only one in the house with no lock. That’s changing tomorrow 100%. Just needed to rant, I’m scared.
|
ptsd
|
I can't sleep. I'm a child, 17 years old. I am so weak. My parents do everything for me. When I take too long in the shower, they knock. When I take too long to get ready in the morning they complain about me being a lazy ass. I am so done with life. I have no real accomplishments so far. I stayed indoors for the majority of my life because I'm weak and too stupid to connect with others. Too lazy to understand what's going on around me. Its funny, I happen to be a co-president of a club, but wanna know why, its because my sister(the real president) created the club and gave me the position out of pity because she knows otherwise I won't get far in the college admissions process. I'm so unmotivated to work on my college apps so my dad is doing most of the grunt work, as a result he despises me. Who could blame him, having a weak and unintelligent son. FUCK ME! FUCK CONCIOUSNESS! FUCK THIS LIFE! Doesn't help that I'm an atheist....
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depression
|
I feel that casual talk drains all of my energy and I cannot stand sitting there being part of it for too long.
I like talking shit all the time, or about unusual stuff, or tell random jokes, anything that's out of the norm. I feel like I have a super specific "context" of communication (like how some cultures are high-context and others low-context, except mine is neither, just all-over-the-place-context) and can only enjoy communicating with people who are similar. Things just click.
This makes me feel bad, as for example, It feels unbearable to sit for longer than 5 mins with my grandma who just asks questions about the most mundane stuff, like what am I doing for work, how long does it take me to get there, etc...
It's like the potential people I can enjoy spending time with has been extremely narrowed down. Anyone with whom I cannot be myself with I have hard time being in close proximity to, and I wish I could form better relationships with a wider range of people.
Just wanted to share this.
|
ADHD
|
I feel like this may be similar to the post I made last night about struggling with the concept of positivity. For most of my adult life, I have never been someone who felt inspired to 'reach for the stars' necessarily. And I think I know why. It stems from memories of inadequacy and/or humiliation in various departments (physical, mental, emotional strength) That go very far back, and ended up creating a deeply engrained sense of Imposter Syndrome in my psyche.
So is it really that I don't want to do or have great things, or am I just so jaded that I've allowed myself to believe that I shouldn't expect too much from myself? In all honesty I think it's a mixture. There is a part of me that is genuinely introverted and doesn't like the idea of having to manage a lot of stuff/interactions because it would be overwhelming and overstimulating and probably cause me to meltdown or shutdown. There is a part of me that fantasizes about having a desirable, stable job that I would enjoy and has a sufficient salary, a part of me that wants to be to have the ability create and play music as well as my favorite ambient Black Metal artist or video game music like the dude who composed for the classic Final Fantasy games, a part of me that imagines finding a beautiful girlfriend who I could share my life with, and understand on a deep personal level, and for once in my life experience true love, intimacy, sex, etc.
I know the answer is, realistically, that **I have to work for it**. I have to make it happen and I can't expect these things to come to me.
And yet, my inner conscience keeps telling myself that it's all out of my league. That it's wrong/immoral for me to make an effort for these things because "You're too stupid for this.", "Your motor skills aren't good enough for that." "You're too unattractive and socially inept for any woman to like you.", "You cannot live up to high expectations", and "Someone else is more worthy and deserving of that than you, you'd be wasting valuable space." It becomes a toxic monster that creates a spiraling feedback loop of negative thinking, which leads you to remain in stagnation.
|
aspergers
|
In your experience wondering if you have found it appropoate to tell a Dr you'd like to switch from XR to IR. I want to tell her that with the XR it's like I take it lay down an hour then it works then it doesn't work then works then doesn't work but I take 2 irs for boosters later on and there's no problem it works throughout and kicks in right away
|
ADHD
|
I'm not depressed... I'm pretty sure.
I just, FUCK, WHY DO I KEEP WASTING TIME??? WHY DO I KEEP PROCRASTINATING?? WHY DO I NOT EAT FOOD EVEN THOUGH I'M BORDERLINE UNDERWEIGHT???? WHY DON'T I WORK TO GET GOOD GRADES EVEN THOUGH I LITERALLY NEED TO MOVE ABROAD TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE???? WHY DON'T I FUCKING CARE???
I don't... I don't understand. Why do I feel so much apathy?
|
depression
|
Hey everyone,
Hope you’re all doing well. So, I just had a doctors appointment and I made the appointment in the first place because I wanted to talk about ADHD because I know for a fact I have it.
The doctor came in introduced herself and asked me why I’m in and I don’t know why, but I just started crying. I told her I think I have ADHD but there’s some other stuff going on as well.
She started asking me a lot of questions, nicely, and then at the end of the questions and talking to me for a while, she said that she really thinks I need to be on antidepressants. She said she sees this everyday and can tell. She said I checked off 7/9 of the symptoms/indicators of depression that they have to ask.
Is it normal to prescribe antidepressants on the first doctors meeting? I’ve also never been on antidepressants before so is there anything I should know? Should I stop smoking weed while on antidepressants? Is it safe to take them if my diet is really not that well (university student so I eat a lot of junk. Not overweight though)
Any tips would be beneficial. Thank you all
|
depression
|
I’ve tried Adderall then Ritalin now I’m on Guanfacine at bedtime. I’m so frustrated and sad and just want to give up. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 34 - I just turned 35 - and in the middle of a career change. I feel like an absolute idiot every single day during work hours. I can’t even concentrate or focus during a 30 minute meeting, it takes me a week to read ten pages of a book, I forget things told to me an hour ago… I’m so tired of living like this. My mind is ALWAYS racing. My doctor has been incredibly kind and patient but I’m nearly ready to quit therapy all together. Why continue to pay for it if my brain can’t get it together? IDK. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve researched other meds including Vyvanse but I don’t have hope for that either. I’m just tired of struggling every single day…
|
ADHD
|
I recently got diagnosed with PTSD and my psychiatrist recommended DBT and EMDR therapy. I’ve called about 6 different therapists specializing in these therapies and trauma therapy but haven’t gotten a call back. I’m not sure if there are other resources out there besides local therapy to help myself heal.
|
ptsd
|
It explains so much. Why people would respond with "sheesh chill" and "I was just asking a question, damn" whenever I would talk to anyone makes so much sense now.
They think I'm intentionally being an asshole. That's what it looks like to neurotypicals. From the outside looking in, they hear me talk and think "they sound like a mean person, I'll avoid them."
I used to be so confused when people spoke back in a hostile way.
In reality, I'm horrible at controlling my tone of voice.
I'm working on tone exercises now that I can see the problem. For the longest time I genuinely had no clue people viewed me this way.
|
aspergers
|
I'm interested in historical shows ( I really want to watch I Claudius, Les Mis Masterpiece , the Pillars of the earth, and HBO's Rome ) , as well as historical inspired fantasy ( Game of Thrones, etc) . I really like the sets and costumes and the idea of battles and political intrigue. However, most of them rely on subtlety in how the characters act, their motivations, and the relationships between them, so I find myself feeling like I miss a lot of details . It's bad enough in modern day shows that don't have differences in culture and values, so I mostly just watch cheesy teen shows, but I want something more mature and nuanced , but that I can still understand. Any tips for shows I might like or ways to get better at watching the shows I already mentioned?
|
aspergers
|
Had a Kyleena IUD put in April, decided it wasn’t for me so I got it out in September. I have no felt the same way since the removal. I was pretty stable before all this. On meds and using the things I learned in ERP everyday. Got the IUD out and my past two menstrual cycles have been horrible. I can’t function. My ocd is so bad, all I do is sob all day. My medical doctor doesn’t believe it’s hormonal but I don’t understand how it isn’t. She did a full blood panel but I could see the doubt in her face. You would think they could trust you, after living with ocd my whole life, you would think if I say I feel like something is off with my hormones that they could believe you with out making you feel like you’re crazy. The second any doctor has found out I have anxiety, it’s always their answer to my problem. My psychiatrist has been on two weeks of Klonopin and I restart erp this upcoming week. This is has been so depressing. I’m hoping I can get some answers from the blood work. If anyone has had a similar experience with an IUD please let me know
|
OCD
|
I'm alive for everyone else, if I had a choice, I'd rather be dead. Thank you.
|
depression
|
Any other 9-5 workers *really* hate hours accounting software? Much of my day is spent waiting on people to reply and I can't work on everything at work at once and instantly switch tasks while waiting because my brain just doesn't work like that.
So what do I say for my hours? And it's worse when they estimate the amount of time it takes to do a project so if you're running out you have to fire off an email to someone to get more allocated to you. And then explain why you fucked up.
It's just unnecessarily stressful, why can't I just be given tasks, a simple deadline for each one, and then do them????
Because the only way I can keep my brain on a swivel is if it's my own personal projects that I have full control and understanding of. I think of starting a business in something but I know 90% of them fail and leave their owners worse off than before. /rant
I just wanna dive into making homebrew or hardware hacks for game consoles but work distracts me so much.
I have ADHD and my personality test came as a Virtuoso, so being chained to a desk and doing the same boring things over and over makes me feel like a boiling tea kettle. Have any Computer Engineers made a transition into the hardware or field service space?
|
ADHD
|
My first appointment with a psychologist is in 6 days, but I've already been recommended to start taking meds. Previously, I've been really apprehensive about taking SSRIs as I'm really scared of the side effects. Should I wait with meds and see if therapy is helpful enough on its own? Maybe you could share your experiences with taking meds? I've been recommended zoloft, but I might be able to ask for a different kind if I think I'd prefer that
|
depression
|
I used to be certain people treated me like shit exclusively based on the way I looked (skinny and asian), but then I got to high school where girls would cold approach me, a infatuation which usually died as soon as I started running my aspie mouth.
I also saw the fat, greasy unkempt guy with skid marks on the back of his pants to be more popular while my neatly groomed self was still the no.1 class-clown weirdo at school.
Just lol.
|
aspergers
|
Hey everyone, I have a favor to ask. I have a friend who has been repeatedly insisting that ADHD can be 'contracted.'
Not like a virus, but as a 'if you do x, y, or z too much, you'll wind up with ADHD.'
Could anyone point me in the direction of any studies concerning this?
Every time I start looking it up, I either get overwhelmed and open reddit, or fall down a rabbit hole and wind up far off topic.
|
ADHD
|
I'm having a very hard time getting up in the mornings. I'm barely able to get up anymore. The issue is definitely me not getting enough sleep but I can't seem to get to bed before 11:30 every night. Some information needed I guess, I'll be tired at work but wide awake when I get home. I just can't seem to get my self to go to bed because I feel like I'm missing out on time even though I'm not doing much of anything. I am an electrical engineer and my boss (in his 60s) has decided to complain about it now that I've been here 3 years. It's not like I'm an hour late, it's 10-15min. But I just can't get up in the morning. Currently off medication (didn't change this when I was on it) because strattera/wellbutrin did nothing but help stop me from getting mad at stupid stuff. Which I mean it was nice to not be furious at games when I die but I need help in other areas. So back to the Dr soon. I'm in the US, what has been people's experiences with this? Honestly I used to be super punctual job wise but I'm salary, don't have to clock in or out and frankly I feel like if they expect me to answer my phone at home and to stay or come in on my time then they should let me go. My previous job allowed you to swing hours indiscriminately and we had engineers working 10-6:30 or even 11-7:30. It's not like I have to immediately be responsible for things when I get in more than a few times a year. It's just frustrating because it's like nothing I do changes the time I get to work. Actually I did 3 weeks coming in an hour earlier and was here on time every day. Idk why I am having such a hard time with this, I never used to. Could it be the lack of me having to clock in now? That is a first for me.
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ADHD
|
For those who haven't seen one before, I'm providing examples (this subreddit does not allow embedded images, so I'm posting links instead). I have failed in every one of these tests, generally immediately.
[https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljtFHR7kz\_zI2QZhNug?e=8b7vy6](https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljtFHR7kz_zI2QZhNug?e=8b7vy6) (classic situational judgement test)
[https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljuoCzN90iVALWU1NxQ?e=mUtEcf](https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljuoCzN90iVALWU1NxQ?e=mUtEcf) (personality test question)
[https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljuoMPa1roWc9RpJIqA?e=0lty62](https://1drv.ms/u/s!Auje7TcceXJljuoMPa1roWc9RpJIqA?e=0lty62) (part of the Arctic Shores "gamified" test. This is just one of the 10+ sections)
Personally, I *hate* them, because they make no sense, are poorly or ambiguously written, can't ask for clarifications and have no relation to the roles I apply (usually in CS). And I fail them virtually every single time. Unfortunately, these kind of tests are common in the UK.
While I've never been tested (and hence cannot make use of any kind of exemption if they exist), I looked up these kind of tests on the internet and it appears that these kind of tests discriminate against neurodiverse individuals in general (which this subreddit is part of). What do you all think? Is there a way I can get rid of having to do them (or at least retain just the numerical parts)? Haven't seen any experience in this or similar subreddits.
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aspergers
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I have a huge project in one of my classes that I haven't turned in. It was due a week ago, im planning on doing it tomorrow but im afraid the professors gonna grade it before then/not give me credit. if worse comes to worse im probably going to send an email explaining that ive been having problems with mental health, but should I honestly even do that? this is the 2nd time I haven't turned in something big in my class and it feels like I keep giving excuses. how would I even go about putting this in an email. im really stressed rn.
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depression
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I have started taking sertraline, 50mg every day. It's been three weeks now. I don't feel the crushing sadness anymore, and I also haven't felt suicidal lately. The major downside is that I lack the motivation to do anything. If I'm late for work, I don't care. I'm super behind with my uni projects and I can't get to make myself do them. Not even food can motivate me, I will skip meals or just eat whatever.
Has anyone else experienced something like this while on sertraline? My doctor's appointment is coming, and I'm afraid these meds aren't right for me and I have to change them again. I'm just so tired.
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depression
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i had a very mentally and sexually abusive ex boyfriend 5ish years ago. just this past year i’ve realized it was abuse and it’s caused a lot of feeling to come up. i’ve only recently told my closest friends. i’ve been in therapy before but just started again this month. i’ve never talked to a therapist about this trauma of mine until my current one because i felt so safe with her. since telling her 2 weeks ago, i’ve been having nightmares...not even nightmares. he’s just a character in my dreams, or his friends are in my dreams, or something that reminds me of him. it feels like he’s taking control of my life again. i have my therapy appointment tomorrow and i will bring it up to her. but i’d be grateful to hear from other people who may have gone through something similar in terms or nightmares and what they did that helped. thank you so much
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ptsd
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Here is a question that some of you might be nervous to answer, do any of those on the spectrum have sexual issues, do you think about it alot, has it gotten you into trouble,are there things you kind of wish you didn't want? This is a safe space no judgement.
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aspergers
|
I am here to publicly claim that I do not believe in Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I do not think he died for my sins. It’s simply what I believe.
That’s all.
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OCD
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Dunno if that's an "I have aspergers" problem or not but it feels fucked that in my family insists on lying to each other (mostly my parents) but even more so they want others involved (my siblings and I) to validate their lie! But... I hate lying... I'd rather say nothing than lie. But if I say nothing then whoever needs their lie validated gets angry because if I stay quiet then everyone else KNOWS something fishy must be going on with the story being told so they get MAD when I don't validate their lie.
And I also don't like validating things I wasn't privy to! They go all "And then this happened! Riiiiight?" And I go "I wasn't there for that so I can neither confirm nor deny that but if you say so, continue." And they immediately act like I'm calling them a liar.
Honestly it feels like lying gets me an ulcer.
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aspergers
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as the title says... i have this and i was wondering if its common for depression to cause these things. I keep wondering if it's depression or something else. My doctor seems fairly sure that it's just severe depression. i sometimes have anger fueled outbursts. and before i upped my antidepressant dose i had what felt like coming mplete mental breakdowns where i became a danger to myself and others almost.
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depression
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Maybe no tanking but still are a big annoyance. I Just did an test exam for an upcoming exam and compared it with a peer. He said he got other values and I started investigating my solution.
I soon figured out that I make such stupid careless mistakes. It was an EE task where to calculate the force of two parallel plates. The first error I made was using the length of the plate for the distance of the two plates. The Second mistake I made was (1/4)\^2=(1/8) and the third mistake I made was reading current instead of current density and because of that calculating the wrong scaling factor. All in one single task.
It's just so frustrating. I know the stuff and yet I still fail it.
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ADHD
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Allmost all My life My parents have thought i had adhd because i have all the symptom but now that im older they think ADD, My teachers, My friends and My uncel that i hold very dear, he has adhd and he thinks i have it too. But im getting a test sometime in the near future and im scared shit less because if i dont have it i need to find out why i act and seem so much like an induvidaul that has add or adhd and I dont know what to think. because i myself think i do have one of the above.
Please i dont know what to think
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ADHD
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I [F22]love my boyfriend [M27], we’ve been together just over a year. We live at part and normally I come to see him 2 out of every 3 weekends, we normally have a great sex live and have done for nearly a year and a half. Which is a massive happy shock for me as I have PTSD from and physically emotionally and sexually abusive previous relationship. It took a lot of work for us to get here and for me to trust him but i do.
Or I did. (UK based) I came to his when the lock down was announced and I live alone and very far away from him and all other friends and family normally. We have a great time during the day and I’ll be sad to go home when all of this is over.
But at night everything’s wrong. I’ve been struggling with other aspects of my mental health but the PTSD seems to just keep getting worse the last 2 weeks. I was supposed to start counciling but it’s all been called off. And now I’m struggling to keep calm in the same bed as him. I feel him against my back and I hate it even though it normally makes me feel safe. I don’t want sex at all and I’m even scared to kiss him for too long now. He hasn’t changed anything at all from the way he normally is and is clearly confused and hurt by this as I can’t explain why I’m all wrong.
Help
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ptsd
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Idk if this is the right place to post this. People with older bad decisions might understand the trauma it caused them at least
My brother is only 25 and has been in the navy for 7 years. Hes currently being tested as a nuclear technician and if he fails his 8 hour exam he loses his job, gets reassigned, and loses all his current benefits.
Hes become so stressed out hes contemplating cutting his own finger off to get medically discharged. He talked about how when hes driving down the road he wants to just run into a tree. The navy wont give him access to a psych during his classes and his commanding officer told him to just get over it.
Im not sure what to do from so far away, but given alot of people have ptsd from the military maybe someone would have some insight on what to do.
I appriciate itt!!
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ptsd
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idk if this is the right sub for this/ i also feel like i post too much here but; some of my tics are getting unbearable. the most bothersome being i feel like my eyes get off center, for lack of better explanation, and my entire face including my mouth and neck twitch. im not sure what causes or triggers it. does anyone else have a tic like this?
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aspergers
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It have been a month and I never have been this lonely before. All my interest, hobbies, passion just went down to the drain and hoping the next day can go fast as it can so i can just die peacefully.
In the back of my mind, the bad memories keeps coming back. Holding my hand, rubbing each other as if someone is stroking me that everything that is fine. Another voice said how long must i endure?
I kept crying more than usual. I just feel numb at the end. I don't feel happy in my life. All the way from childhood trauma till now. Masking my anxiety and my feelings are not valid to anyone.
I'm just afraid and scared. Can i end this pain?
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depression
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I am a 14 year old boy and saw a girl an 11 year old girl with makeup and lipstick and eyelashes on my mind is telling me I think she is attractive but I don’t and I kept going back to prove my mind wrong but it just said the same thing I need help
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OCD
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Was going through a rough patch for the last two days but just existing here really helped.
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OCD
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Does anyone else have extreme difficulty with gifts? Giving and receiving. There's just wayyyy too much that goes into the concept. If I receive a gift and I don't like it I find it SO HARD to mask and make my voice and face do the appropriate thing and it's so uncomfortable. And logically, I don't want the thing so... I don't want it?
And giving gifts is just a nightmare because NTs think they're giving all these signals of what they want, or I should just *know* what they want, but I don't and it's super stressful and you can't just *ask* what someone wants because then it devalues the gift for some reason?? It's such a complicated social thing 😫
Just me, or is this a common ASD thing?
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aspergers
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My sister and I are fairly certain she's on the spectrum. She's incredibly intelligent, focused, organized, and has extreme, meticulous neatness. She has periods of obsessiveness over certain subjects, and is gifted in learning languages. However, she has difficulty picking up social cues, metaphors and puns go way over her head, and she's almost painfully blunt.
We both agree that she may be, in some ways, autistic, and these aren't new signs. Looking back, we were almost facepalming in exasperation. How did we miss these things? Why had no one told us about autism earlier? We were in public school up to fifth grade, and all of these signs were almost painfully obvious.
I understand that it's difficult to pick out autistic girls over boys, and that females are highly skilled at camouflaging to look and act like everyone else around them. But my sister has never been a conformist, and never will be.
My sister and I want to see a specialist, just to have confirmation. However, we're worried about our parents.
Will they see it as making an excuse for certain behaviors? Will they think we're shoving it in their faces, or passively slighting them, to tell them that they "should have known" ? What if we're just trying to find a "label" to slap on, only to parade around "uniqueness?"
I love my parents, and they love us very, very much. Maybe I shouldn't worry. Maybe there's no use in getting a formal look over.
What do you think?
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aspergers
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I don't want to wake up. I can't take it anymore. I tried meds. I tried therapy. Nothing helps.
My mind is a prison
My mind is a prison
I can't stand it
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depression
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A common theme of my OCD is wondering if I’m a narcissist, I feel like I actually could be. Sometimes I have thoughts like thinking very highly of myself and they bother me. Could OCD cause these thoughts?
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OCD
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I feel like this is a subject not a lot of people talk about. I have my problems and everything and I’ve worked in different jobs and some of them I’ve just had to let go because stress levels are too high. I am currently on low income now just making money doing doordash. I have worked jobs like construction welding and automotive tech (mechanic) and worked in all three fields for a while, during which many things happened to trigger traumatic events and memories and I just can’t handle jobs like that anymore. It’s so hard to try to explain that to my girlfriend because every time I get down because I feel like a worthless piece of garbage she just automatically goes to “well you might not like it but you should go to the oil field” and ima just tell y’all now I’m not gonna do that shit. I keep explaining its more than just not liking the job I literally can’t fucking function under a certain amount of stress. And it just feels like no one will ever understand that I just can’t handle high stress shit my brain goes blank and my body goes nimb. How can I ever amount to anything if that’s all anyone’s perception of me is gonna be. Just a low down poor idiot going thru life as a fucking loser
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ptsd
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Can OCD convince you to the point where you a hundred percent believe something is real and could it also manipulate memories and feelings ?
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OCD
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I’ll give a brief description and background of the events.
I go to a private coffee shop almost everyday for the last 2 years. I usually work on my computer mind my own business and keep to me self.
But the last few weeks a group of people have been coming almost everyday and I always sit in a section of the coffee shop that has a Tv that customers can use. Typically anyone can put whatever they want on the Tv, the group that comes always comes and puts really loud music on the tv I usually ask nicely to lower the volume and sometime do.
And then last week a new person started coming with their group and she turned the volume up loader and loader each time she came, I kept asking to lower the volume each days and one day I guess I offended the same girl and she decided to turn the tv off completely and give me dirty a look which I guess meant she was irritated.
And then yesterday I got really irritated because it was so loud I got up and asked the manger to tell the group to lower the volume. He went and ask them to lower it.
And then today before I got there the group was blast really loud music I waited 15 mins and decided I couldn’t handle it and went straight to the manager irritated and demanding someone lower the volume.
He responded by saying ok and then jokingly said do you need to see a doctor? Or if anyone has told me I need to see a doctor?
And that point I got really offended.... and honestly upset. I kept my reaction to myself.
How is asking someone to lower the volume make me crazy, or that I need to see a doctor ?
I mean I was at place of business and the group their should have general courtesy to know their are other customers and they can’t just do whatever they want and be extremely loud.
And how does that give the manager the impression that I’m crazy? Or even the ability to say that??
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aspergers
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So, I'm trying to begin an exercises routine(Started yesterday at night), but I'm also a student with ASD who bought Concerta, and I was using Concerta a little time ago. My exercise routine will include sit-ups, squats,stretching and warming exercises that make the heart beat too fast.
Is there a problem with it, considering that concerta affects your heartbeat?
​
I'm doing these exercises because it stimulates the body to release good hormones that help the brain, the mood, and general well-being, also because I want some muscles, and because it increases testoterone.(My first time in life doing exercise routine daily)
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ADHD
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***I was in a car accident in June 2019 I'm paralyzed from the shoulders down because of a drunk driver***
-My ear itches so bad and I can't scratch it. Just another reminder why I should just fucking die. I have no reason being here. I just want to die so I could be at peace. This is just inhumane. I'm fine to die I don't mind I'm ready! No one wants to assist me with anything. All I do is bother everyone. I can't have anything the way I like it. It's like I don't have a choice anymore it's like I don't have a say anymore tell me should I still be living a life that doesn't even feel like mine? I can't expressed my self how I want. This isn't life... It's like God for bid if I want to do something for myself I feel like I can't I feel like oh why does it matter it's not like she's worthy anyways.
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depression
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I’ve been this way for so long, and because I’ve learned to just avoid the things that make it worse, I function pretty well. I would love to not be this way, but the idea exposing myself to the things that make me anxious makes me want to cry. I don’t want to be this way, but I’m so scared of the treatment, it’s almost like I don’t want to get better, and then I feel like a terrible person because there are people who have it so much worse, and here I am, content to live with this nightmare because the alternative is too much for me to process.
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OCD
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