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First of all, sorry if my English doesn't sound too good, I'm French.
I've had therapy for nearly 10 years now (since I was bullied), and the subject of Asperger's only came up recently when I read about it online. When I told my parent about it, my mom said that they did in fact had suspicions when I was younger. The therapist I've been seeing since I entered High-School (10th grade in France), after I started having difficulties going to school, told me that she didn't think I have Asperger's because I can look at her in the eyes.
But the more I think about things I do/I used to do, the more I recognize myself in Asperger's. For example, when I was younger, before going to sleep I had the routine of going into 2 rooms in a specific order and I had to touch everything inside. There was even a mirror in one of those rooms that I needed to check every time for fear it would detach from the wall and fall to the ground. Before going to sleep or school, I also used to recite words in a specific way to my parents, where I told them that I love them, have a good day/night, etc...
Growing up, I managed to stop these routines, but I still have a few ones like needing to check my social networks apps in a specific order before going to sleep.
I don't have clear memories about this before middle school, but I never managed to maintain relationships, I always felt late compared to others and I spent most of my days at middle school alone. The only place where I'm able to have some sort of social life today is on Discord.
But all of this didn't really matter to me until I had my first crush 3 years ago, I started building sort of a personality based on his, and caring a lot about how people perceived me. Next year I started missing a lot of classes and ended up dropping out of school after the lockdown.
Since, a year and a half have gone by and I recently found a job thanks to my parents, but I still feel like I'm missing something.
​
Everythings lead me to think I do have Asperger's, but I don't have the most obvious traits like having meltdowns/shutdowns, having a monotone voice, having a strong interest in a specific subject (I do have kind of atypical interests, but they vary often), having little to no sensory issues (I'm only scared by loud noises and can't stand mouth noises), etc...
So here I am, thinking about this every day, feeling like an imposter for thinking I have Asperger's, while still feeling so different and lost.
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aspergers
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It seems like now that she's getting older she's becoming more and more delayed. Did you experience this with your kiddo?
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aspergers
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I really do idc what anybody says, I fucking hate myself and need to die
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depression
|
Hi there. Like most of us here, I move around a lot when seated. I tend to be most focused though when I can cross my legs. I have an awful cheap (£130) "gaming chair", with hard flared sides that dig into my thighs if I adopt this seating position. Sometimes the seat can be enough for me to not get any work done that day because I can't find a comfortable position, so it's important for me to get a good chair that will hopefully help me with assignment work etc.
Can anyone recommend a spacious chair with a flat (or nearly flat) seat base that is comfortable to sit in cross-legged for long periods of time? I don't mind spending a good bit of money if it's going to last years (although it'll have to come out of my maintenance loan). I do games design, and can be sat at my computer all day designing, making or playing games. I've heard the Secret Labs Titan chairs can be quite good, but haven't had the opportunity to try one out first.
Also, if you're a student with DSA in the UK, do you think it would get approved if I asked for the funding for something like this? Honestly even if it's going to help me focus for an extra ten minutes on a 40-hour assignment, I'd grateful accept the help. My DSA application has just been approved but I'll have the meeting to discuss my needs in January.
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ADHD
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Does anyone else occasionally have days where even when you're doing everything right, you still cannot focus? I'm finding that one every 1.5 - 2 weeks I have a day where focusing on a task is almost impossible. On those days I will feel very motivated and energized, but I just cannot put that energy toward a singular task. I'm noticing I will typically feel extra talkative those days, as well.
Super short bio: 36-year-old male recently (last 6 mos.) diagnosed with ADHD. Currently on Adderall IR 2-3s per day.
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ADHD
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Has anyone tried the over the counter NAC supplement (N-Acetyl Cysteine) for help with their OCD? After speaking with my psychiatrist today, he recommended trying it to help with my skin picking. I’m already on Sertraline, which is helping tremendously but it has zero effect on my excoriation.
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OCD
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a part of my diagnose process (about 8 months) was to do a series of IQ type test to see how i did and this was with a neuropsychologist. i did okay/normal at the verbal and memory ones but did really well at the nonverbal which surprised me. the neuropsychologist showed me a chart and i was at the top 2% of my age range. it was a really big surprise to me and he found it interesting too. it made me feel kinda happy though :)
did some reading after that and found it was quite common for high functioning autism and it’s really interesting to me.
how have you guys done with this type of testing if you have tried it?
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aspergers
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I keep trying to rationalize it away and say to myself that I'm just being overly dramatic. That I spent half of today on the couch staring at the ceiling in torment because I'm lazy. I guess it's easier to keep telling myself that I'm a piece of shit than it is to say that I'm broken.
I'm getting real tired of people being nice and helpful; I feel patronized. I tell myself that I could have done that thing someone else did, but I can't. I tell people "don't do that thing. I will take care of it." But after me not being able to take care of it for a few days it quietly gets done.
I feel like a leech.
Edit: thank you all. I had a rough night and really needed the support
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ptsd
|
I was diagnosed with high functioning aspergers in my late teens (I’m now 26)
My friend has self-diagnosed herself with autism in the past year. I don’t doubt that that she has it.
However, she has started using this as an explanation for certain behaviours. Her claiming she is no longer “masking” her autistic behaviour is also exacerbating these toxic traits.
Some of my friends have told me that her behaviour is narcissistic and that I should distance myself from her.
Some examples:
- Constantly talking about herself and constantly talking in a conversation. She always brings the conversation back to herself if I start taking. She doesn’t even know what my current job is because she never asked in the last 6 months. I say about 5% of the words in the conversation despite my efforts.
- Using me as a soundboard for her problems and obsessions: she is absolutely obsessed with the guy she is dating and talks about him non-stop. She telephones me randomly and wants to talk about him for extended time periods. She needs reassurance that he likes her and gets annoyed/massively insecure if I say something that she doesn’t want to hear.
- Being snappy and rude to me: Telling me rudely to stop talking if she doesn’t like a conversation topic (I was talking about Covid briefly), having a panic attack and shouting at me to bring her water, getting annoyed at me if I give her advice/ say something/voice an opinion contrary to what she wants to hear...
- It’s her way or the high way: We have to do everything according to what mood she is in. Even if there are time constraints. For instance, once we were meant to meet friends later and we ended up having to cancel on them last minute because of her bad time keeping and unwillingness to set a time to meet them later that day.
- Not always being thoughtful: I went to visit her in her city and she stayed up drinking the night before so even though I’d booked an expensive train there she was too hungover to meet up the next day until the evening. No apology. This happened twice on separate occasions.
- Telling her ex boyfriend if he was responding incorrectly to something, shhh’ing and interrupting him if he was telling a story that was too long (they did have a toxic relationship on both sides though)
Anyway, she is an old friend of mine and we do have fun despite the above, so I’m not willing to cut the contact.
I do find her behaviour extremely exhausting though. It’s becoming more so since she has diagnosed herself with autism as she no longer feels the need to mask.
This behaviour is very different to mine, which is why I struggle (as an autist) to relate it to autism.
Should I accept that this is something beyond her control related to autism, or is this behaviour narcissistic/toxic?
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aspergers
|
I have been looking for a psychiatrist so that I can get properly medicated but it has been a frustrating ordeal. I have tried calling people for over a week and nothing. I have tried 4 doctors that either end up in busy signals, 3 different listed numbers, that fax screeching noise, a hospital with a receptionist who doesn't even know the doctor that works there, or just wrong numbers.
I have tried setting up appointments online but they either never get back to me or call me and give me a number that I have already tried and doesn't work.
WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD!? It's not like I have a hard enough time making phone calls in the first place.... Jesus fucking Christ.
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ADHD
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Does anyone else miss hot drinks? I currently make 3-4 hot drinks per day. I DRINK 3-4 hot drinks per month.
It goes something like this......
1) Think about making hot drink for approx 90 mins
2) Eventually enter kitchen & make hot drink
3) Leave kitchen with hot drink
4) Put hot drink down
5) Forget about hot drink
I'm gonna have to go back to using travel mugs! 😂
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ADHD
|
Not sure if anyone else experiences this .. but I just wanted to share this because I recently got my hair done and I've been having multiple meltdowns every day over it.
I am a girl, and I love having nice hair. My hair is fairly long (a little above my waist at the longest point) I don't have a problem with spending a decent amount of my money on it once every year or twice a year ... but the catch is getting it done right and getting a stylist to understand me.
I don't let them know I have OCD (made that mistake once, and the stylist made it sound like I was joking around and saying "everyone's OCD about their hair"). But my OCD gets REALLY bad after every haircut or color. Usually after the cut, I'll obsess with it being even on both sides, or laying a certain way. If it's longer on one side, I've even trimmed it myself to even it out, only to make it worse. Usually my stylist can't fit me in the same day, so I'll have to wait anywhere from 1 week - 3 weeks out to get it fixed, but I can't help it! And with color, if it's not the exact shade I want, I'll keep asking for a re-tone. I know my stylists hate me, and I've jumped from stylist to stylist because I feel like they usually can't understand what I'm going through.
I've blown through a crapton of money to get my hair fixed, re-colored, and every time my roots grow out, it drives me nuts and I start to get panic attacks before the hair appointment because I don't like dealing with getting my hair done.
I tried dying it to my original color but I absolutely HATED it and it sounds so silly to complain about my hair constantly, but I can't help it!
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OCD
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I'm 22 years old, assigned male at birth, and I can't say I feel *wrong* in my body – I mean, I guess I have a few typical body image issues, but it's not gender dysphoria. I'm ok with my name and pronouns, and have no desire to present in a more feminine or androgynous fashion. In fact, I look somewhat stereotypically masculine (6'3 tall, beard, buzz cut, pretty significant body hair), and I think it's fine.
In any case, I'm quite sure I'm not trans or nonbinary or whatever. But at the same time, what I recently realized is that I don't really feel *like a man*, as in, I don't feel a very strong connection to *being male* as an idea. When I ask myself "Am I a man?" the only thing that comes to my mind is "What the hell does it even mean to be a man?" And the answer is "I don't know." For the most part, I'm just... myself. I may not complain about having a male body and wearing men's clothes, but my gender doesn't feel like a big part of my personal identity or like something that influences my personality. It's more about convenience and habit, I guess.
When it comes to my upbringing, I feel like my parents raised me in a somewhat neutral way. I was raised as a boy and girly stuff didn't really interest me, but overall it was relatively free of gender stereotypes and so on. They never told me that I should or shouldn't do something or think in a certain way just because I was a boy. And looking back at it now, I don't think I've ever been particularly "masculine" in terms of personality – I was an extremely sensitive and quiet kid who struggled a lot with social anxiety and isolation, so that idea of ultra-confident, loud, competitive, boys-club masculinity never resonated with me at all. In fact, I'm not really comfortable around this type of guys, and almost all of my closest friends these days are women. I hate this slight air of competition I feel around a lot of dudes, even if they seem to like me. And just to clarify, I realize that you don't have to be this kind of macho "alpha male" (lol) to be a "real man", but it's not quite about feeling like a "real man", I just feel a bit disconnected from the idea of masculinity as a whole.
So... Is this an autism thing? I've heard that trans people are overrepresented in the autistic community compared to the general population, but is the way I relate to my gender common among non-LGBTQ autistic men?
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aspergers
|
hi, i'm 19m and i suffer from ptsd amongst other things. lately ive been getting memories of possible molestation from when i was a child (as well as flashbacks to other things i do remember) and its been getting in the way of my daily life. i have to go in public as im an essential worker, and lately, ive been suffering attacks during my shifts. i am a stocker so i have to be around strangers all day. does anyone have any tips for how to avoid attacks/ground oneself in public? ty
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ptsd
|
Well, my secondary therapist. My psychiatrist was originally at a different clinic that didn't require me seeing an on-site therapist, and so i've been seeing my main (unrelated) therapist for four years... the second therapist became a requirement by the rules of the new clinic my psych moved to a while back. I wanted to keep seeing my original therapist, and so I ended up with two different ones...
*Anyway*, to get to the point: She's been about as uncaring as possible ever since I started seeing her two or so years ago, always rushing me out of her office as quickly as possible while also offering the bare minimum of effort. When our appointments moved to the phone, she did the same thing, attempting to get off of the call as quickly as she could... fast forward to around a month ago when I had another appointment, and she let the phone ring a total of three times before hanging up (writing me down as a no show in the process). Today I had another appointment to make up for the last one, and she never bothered calling at all; when my mom called her office and asked, the receptionist said that the therapist called and never got an answer, writing me down again as a no show. She said she'd tell her we called and that she should call us back, and here I am... two and a half hours after the original appointment, and still no call. She probably took the chance to make yet another "no show" to write on my records.
I've always strongly disliked her because it always seemed to me that she didn't care, and this pretty much proves it. Even though we've made almost no meaningful progress (I assume it's mostly my fault, though), my primary therapist is the complete opposite; always supportive and willing to go the extra mile, takes the time to get in touch if something comes up, etc.. They're worlds apart.
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depression
|
This was kind if mind blowing for me but it helped me understand myself better. One of the causes of ADHD symptoms is our lack of dopamine. This is different that lack of serotonin. Essentially, dopamine is the chemical in our brain that tells us "do that again." Not nessesarily a chemical that makes up happy.
For example, if I take a bite of something steeped in sugar, my brain goes "oh do that again!" Even I'm kind of underwhelmed with the actual flavor. In theese circumstances its pretty easy to go "nah, not worth the chewing effort" something like beer unfortunately is pretty easy to just.... do again. The first beer feels great, so I have another. The second beer didn't make me feel better, but my brain is stuck on the first one giving me dopeamine. "Do it again!" So you can be standing there, not feeling great, but feeling impelled to have another beer. Or another mediocre cookie. Or another piece of bacon. But those things might not give you serotonin, they just fulfill a dopeamine response. You can be miserable the entire time, but have an urge to satisfy the dopamine response over and over.
It takes alot of self control for me to take a step back and say "if I eat this I will just feel miserable later. What do I ACTUALLY want right now." Of course that forever feeling of "can't figure out what I'm really craving" is also part of adhd. And even worse, usually what I'm truly craveing usually turns out to be excercise. But excercise doesn't give me a dopamine response that says "don't that again!" So every single day I have to re make myself do it with no dopamine response. No matter how good it feels to do my brain never says "do that again!" But what excercise does give me is a satisfied feeling. Endorphins. Serotonin. So wouldn't it be great of I craved it? Very annoying.
It's like all the tools are there but work backwards.
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ADHD
|
This is a real issue for me, and I’ve been trying to exercise it away in a bunch of ways.
It’s like I’m simply unable to hear my real voice. I know that what we hear is not how it actually is to other people, but how much off can it be?
I keep hearing for it every single day. It’s a hard one for me to just accept and just try repeat myself when people go “huh? You’re mumbling”
Does anybody relate to this? It’s really all I want to know, but if anybody could point me towards something that helped you, I’d seriously appreciate it!
The only thing that helps me a little, is singing and rapping. I write and record a lot, that’s the only place I can actually feel free in regards to this, and use my voice in so many ways without feeling like I’m acting.
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aspergers
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So yesterday I was watching a video. I was imagining a scenario and now my heads making me think I saw this scenario in real life.
I am fearing developing schizophrenia
And now if this did happen ( I know it didn’t) like honestly I know it didn’t happen at all and I literally thought after I had this thought that my heads gonna make me think I saw it in real life and even laughed about it, now it’s making me think I did see a demon in real life and that I have schizophrenia.
I literally don’t even remember what the demon looked like cause it never happened but what if it did happen and I’m going crazy
Even writing this I know it didn’t happen wtf
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OCD
|
For the first time in years I'm going to go skating during the winter! Every year I want to go and every year the ADHD stops me because of all the steps involved. This year is even more complicated because of covid but I did it!
Here's what it involved:
Sign up with the community recreation website.
Find my skates.
Take my skates to get sharpened.
Find the public skate schedule.
Get gloves.
Log in online and book a skating time far enough in advance that there is still availability.
Every year I get stalled somewhere in the process and before I know it, it's spring again, but I did it!
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ADHD
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Not sure what my life has come to I don't think anything/Anyone else is gonna make me happy, all i do if try and find ways that people can make me happy when I think about it
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depression
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Im guilty of giving the "Benefit of a Doubt." I want to think that the people I meet have the best interest in me. Unfornanlity that not always the case.
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aspergers
|
So I went to see a movie in the cinema on Saturday night and when I was watching I started to notice that it looked like the movie camera was shaking - I kept wondering whether it was because it's playing on a huge screen or is the movie actually that way and now I'm totally obsessed wondering and thinking I need to check and get my loved ones to check for me and it's driving me crazy. Any advice would be appreciated.
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OCD
|
disclaimer: I am not saying ocd if about perfection. My point here is to talk about real event ocd and INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS and feelings.
no I cannot make mistakes. I can't even think awful things. I have to be perfect all the time because if I commit f**king mistakes I am done and everything is lost!!!!!!! it means my whole life is wrong. all my life I tried to be PERFECT. to breath perfect, to sit perfect, to eat perfect, to say perfect things, to THINK perfect things and FEEL perfect things because IF I DON'T even for one time EVERYTHING IS SHIT AND I SHOULD TO GO HELL. SO YES guess what, everybody is better than me. everybody acts, breathe, thinks, feels better than I do. So I should be better, right????? always better so they finally can be able to love and accept me. so I finally will be able to love myself and feel "RIGHT" because the fact is that i have never felt right in my entire life. ALWAYS there is something that feels WRONG. VERY WRONG.
SO NO! IT IS SO HARD TO ACCEPT BEING OCD. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PERFECT AND NORMAL, to be able to live in the world and society. I know I shouldn't but I'm 20 f**king years old and my entire life has been like this. I have been raised to be, act, think and feel perfect.
I can't run away from myself. BUT I CANT STOP COMPARING MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS TO OTHER PEOPLE AND THEY ARE ALWAYS MUCH PERFECT.
yeah for now I have sexual and moral (this one particularly I've been having during my entire life) OCD THEMES. but I have had harm, religious, just right and cleaning ocd before. also live with body issues my whole life.
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OCD
|
Dealing with OCD is so draining I feel as if I need to confess in order to live but I know confessing makes everything worse these thoughts r so bad these thoughts are everywhere they're even in my dreams I wanna confess so bad I just wanna say if you feel like this too your not alone we will get through this hang in there <3
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OCD
|
What hacks/tips/practices do you all use to prioritize tasks?
I've tried 100 different productivity systems (currently using GTD with Todoist and Asana at work) but all of them seem like they just provide an organized entry point to the same old issue, which is being unable to choose what to spend my time on.
I can't label, tag, and sort my way into being able to decide whether to spend my one available extra hour in the day on calling my mom, mopping the floors, connecting with my husband, doing more work on a big work project, doing some work on a smaller but still necessary work project, finally booking a dog groomer, or planning for an upcoming trip when all of those things are important to me and medium-time sensitive.
So when you've organized all your tasks and thoughts into projects, sorted them, and are starting at a next actions list with way too much on it for that day or hour or week, what do you do!? It's a constant source of stress, distraction, and anxiety.
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ADHD
|
We need to hear this and not just once. So often we hear the opposite and frequently it’s us invalidating our own trauma by comparing it with others.
I believe validating trauma says that compassion and understanding is also a valid response to that person. That it is worthy of treatment and a journey towards healing however that may look.
I hope this reaches one person that has been questioning the validity of their trauma:
Your trauma is valid and don’t let anyone tell you any different!
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ptsd
|
My mom and I aren't close, though I'm sure she tells everyone how "close" we are. I've been abused my whole life, literally. The last year I've been in my own place and single, by choice. One year I haven't been abused, in any way, by my family or a partner. My mom comes around like once a week sometimes every other week. I try to keep the contact to a minimum.
My maternal grandfather sexually abused me for 13 years. He had a very distinct smell. He smelled like menthol cigarettes and zippo lighters every waking second. Now, my mom does smoke, but never menthol, so I don't even understand how she smells identical to him, but she absolutely does. It's triggering me so much. Her car smells exactly like she does and so did his. He's been dead for quite a few years, so it's not like she was around him.
I've already cut most of my family out of my life and that's no exception to my mom, but I still have brief visits occasionally. She can trigger me like nobody else can, but I've never noticed this before. Trust me, I would have noticed.
I really just wanna never answer my phone or door again and ensure that I never smell him again.
Like...he's dead, why am I even dealing with this...
Tdlr in title
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ptsd
|
Hey guys so I’m in a lot of pain worrying my girlfriend did something unforgivable. Since I was a child, college graduation has been my only goal. I’m very sentimental and my girlfriend isn’t, due to all the loss in her family. So, in return she doesn’t get things like making something a big or big event, cause big events make her reflect situation and all the people that couldn’t be there. We’ve talked about these things before and gotten places, but it still came out alot, not as much, but still. She says things like “you talk alot” and stuff like that and “c’mon speed it up” if I’m rambling, but I like to ramble. She says she’s just busting my balls, but I’m super sensitive and that stuff shuts me up entirely, which I’ve told her before.
Anyways, on my graduation day I was giving my parents their own diplomas, because after being poor our whole lives I’m the first to graduate and they worked their ass off to get my there. I was giving a speech beforehand and then gave the diplomas, but felt like that wasn’t enough and I wanted to do more, but didn’t in fear of snapping from my girlfriend.
Now I told her this, and she said she wouldn’t have since it was a very important day for me. But, since it’s happened before in situations like that, I shut up and didnt. She then offered to help me recreate it with another party and gift for my parents, but I can’t help thinking it’s just gone and she ruined it and I’ll hate her or have a pending resentment forever. I’m so scared it’s super valid and were fucked. Please help out guys.
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OCD
|
Does anyone else mix up different streets/roads that are 'similar'? I frequently find myself going the wrong route in my car and relying heavily on a satnav. Also, my left and right?! Like, I can go in shop and when I come out, aim to carry on in the direction down the road but end up confused which way that actually is!!
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aspergers
|
Hello all,
during the past decade or so I have struggled with my PTSD becoming a full-blown crippling depression. Recently I discovered just how much anxiety has ruled my life and dominated my decision process and I want more than anything for that to change. I recently came across MindBloom Ketamine therapy and I think I am going to give it a try. Some of the testimonies sound EXACTLY like me. Has anyone here had experience with or ever tried K-Therapy? Does it really work? Either positive or negative let me know what your experience was. If this is only 10% as effective as it claims to be it could be a real game-changer for me.
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ptsd
|
This is a throwaway as I am paranoid someone might know who I am with my regular account. Sorry for a long post, but I just don't know how to make it shorter without leaving off most of what I am going through.
Either way.
So I have developed this weird freaking condition in the last year or so. I tried to research it, but I can't find anything similar as all OCD articles and publications I read are talking something else. For example, I have no issue with contamination, hoarding, counting, safety or order, or anything else that can be categorized as typical OCD.
What I have a problem with is probably some type of a fusion between magical thinking and intrusive thoughts, and no, not typical intrusive thoughts where a sufferer will get them about harming himself or others, or doing something else bad. I don't have any of that, ever. What I have is fucking weird and I can't find anyone with the same issue.
Basically I have three separate problems. **First** is some type of a phobia of certain numbers and my brain is convinced that these numbers follow me and they mean that something bad will happen in the future. The numbers I am talking about are iterations of number "6". So for example, 6, 16, 26, 36 and so forth. I mean even right now, I just glanced at the clock and it was 12.26 o'clock. Crazy, I know. My brain is convinced that I see number 6 way way way more often than any other number and that it means some type of an imminent tragedy or demise. I woke up today at 8.26 because someone messaged me at that precise time and I have been noticing things like this for a long time now. Like number 6 is following me and it's a bad number. The more I notice it, the worse and sooner something catastrophic will happen.
**Second** and which is probably a bigger issue to me than the first problem, is that I get crazy intrusive instantaneous thoughts about getting seriously ill if I don't perform a certain thing. The certain thing is never a compulsion, but it's almost always something that I have to "not do" that I want to do. Confusing, I know. let me explain.
For example, I want to play a certain video game or buy something. Right when I get this desire to do so, my brain sends me a quick message out of nowhere that will say something like "if you play this particular video game, or buy this particular item, you will get cancer or die of stroke, or get in a car accident, or whatever else". And it's very very very intense. It's so powerful that most of the time, I have to pick a different video game or a different item I want to do, or do a different task from the one I wanted to do originally, or else I am dead . This happens very very often. A lot of times if I want to do something today, my brain sends me a quick message screaming "if you do this today, you will die", so I end up doing it the next day or not doing it at all. Did I say how insane this sounds? Either way, let's continue.
**Third** thing, which always happens with work tasks, is that often, when I am about to save something for work, or do something for work (I work on the computer), my brain sends me a quick message saying "you need to redo this, or you will die", even though I've already done this correctly. I am getting this type of an issue only when I am performing work related activity and never something else. So often I end up doing and redoing some simple task multiple times and god forbid I save a file at the time when the clock says number six.
The funny thing about all this is that I've never had this problem before and I am almost forty. This has all developed in the last year or so. I don't remember having any emotional issues during this year and nothing bad has happened which might have triggered this, so I am at a loss.
So what I've started to do is that I've started doing things that I am scared of on purpose and write them down. This helps a little, but it is very hard and I always relapse. I also can't find anyone else with a similar problem as I mentioned earlier.
Can anyone shed any light on wtf is going on with me? Sorry for my French, but I am just frustrated and lost. Reddit is literally my only hope as I can't go to a therapist for different reasons. I need to figure this one out myself.
Thanks all.
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OCD
|
It ruins my interests in playing games my thoughts are about Minecraft skins they don’t make any sense please help me
|
OCD
|
Hello,
I am a neuroscientist based at King's College London running the ADHD research lab and I thought our current trial may be of interest to people in this group.
We are seeking volunteers based in London to take part in our research at London Bridge. The research involves a short screening survey and then a 2 hour lab visit. We offer a £22 amazon voucher thank you, unfortunately we do not have the funds to pay travel so are really looking for people who might be based in London. We are seeking adults aged 18-35 years with ADHD either not taking any medication or taking psychostimulants.
If you are interested you can do the screening survey and sign up here (the link also has further information): [https://tinyurl.com/exerciseADHD](https://tinyurl.com/exerciseADHD)
Research participation aside, if people want to follow our lab more generally we are on twitter and IG (ADHDResearchLab). We use twitter in particular to share ideas and findings. We hope in time to get more into Reddit as well!
Thank you,
Ellie
|
ADHD
|
So basically I’m a 16 y/o female and tomorrow I have my first appointment with a new counselor after not speaking to someone like that since I was 12. I am not diagnosed with adhd and when I was 10 I was diagnosed with depression (prescribed meds) and ocd. I haven’t been feeling very well and have realized that a lot of the things I’ve been feeling like I was being over dramatic about are symptoms of adhd and noticed a lot of shared experiences. I’m really nervous for when I start talking to this person because I do not want to be misdiagnosed if there is a possibility I might actually have adhd. But I’m also nervous because I don’t want to come off the wrong way but I’m just so stressed and want to figure out why I’m having the issues I’m having. I’m really bad at explaining things especially personal things and I forget a lot of things too but I remember all the negative feelings and get overwhelmed when they come back so I don’t really know how I’m going to explain what’s been going on either.
I feeling like I’m forgetting to mention stuff rn but my reason for typing all of this is to ask if there are any tips or advice or if I might just be being over dramatic. Also sorry if this isn’t the right place to come I’m just really confused right now.
|
ADHD
|
Absolutely petrified of my intrusive thoughts (F16)
I’ve never been one to shy away from talking about mental health. I don’t have a supportive home so my friends and I help each other. I’ve had depression for a while and I’ve learned to be comfortable with my sadness if that makes any sense.
A recent development of vile intrusive thoughts is throwing me a huge curveball.
I know they are not a part of me, but I barely got a wink of sleep last night. I did talk to my friends without getting too in depth about what I was thinking and I found reassurance that they could also relate. Doing some research I learned that this is normal and quite common. Yay! I even researched my scary ones that included horrific fantasies that left me nauseous and I found a Reddit post with many people agreeing and relating. Yay!
Today is a new day, I ignored the thoughts, did some research on therapists just in case this pushes more than just the fact I was triggered last night.
Every time I forgot about the thoughts, thinking I rationalized it. It comes back, wave after wave. Catching me off guard every time, I’m tired and it’s beginning to ware on me, I couldn’t attend school I tried to watch light hearted things to distract me. Kept coming back, it’s scary, I know this isn’t me, but it feels so real, I’m afraid the line between “just thoughts” and reality are blurring too much.
I would never act upon these thoughts, why do I feel like it’s becoming a part of me, something I like almost? I never would wish harm or abuse on anyone but I’m so scared to turn into what I hate. What do I do?
|
OCD
|
I've had to put in vacation time for this week because I have so many hours to burn before the end of the year. (Our company will only roll over up to 80 for the next year, anything over is use it or lose it and I have 2 weeks worth over that.)
Initially I was excited - mostly about sleeping in - but other than that I have NO idea what to do with my day. I usually use my weekends to be useless which I totally did, but now I feel like I should be using these days to have fun and enjoy my time not working. Especially since my husband is also off this week and we never have time off at the same time. I know if I don't do anything this week I'll just sit at the house tormenting myself with thought circles and waste it away.
TL;DR What do you do enjoy doing with your off time?
|
ADHD
|
Well. It's 4 am and my diagnosis starts at 11 am. It's been a year since a university student psychologist/counselor suggested I get tested for ADHD after telling her I've been having sleep problems as long as I remember not to mention the chronic low grades from middle school till now among other signs of ADHD. After a year procrastinating the researching, and the long waiting list today is the day. The thing is I feel like if I don't get any sleep then my lack of it is going to fudge the results somehow and I get misdiagnosed. So I finally decided to post here after lurking for ages. I am also worried that if I dont get diagnosed, what then? Am I just making this all up?
Sorry if this does not make any sense and for the run on sentences. I hope I can catch some FUCKING zzz's.
|
ADHD
|
(I’m writing this on mobile so bad formatting disclaimer)
I feel like I’m crazy. I keep hearing and seeing stuff but I know it not real and it just in my head. But even then I keep failing to shut them up and they convince me of things that I have no logical prove behind. I just don’t know what real or not. And it’s painful. Everything is blurred between what real and what in my head.
I know this is not really ASD related or anything but this is one of the best sub I’m in to ask for advice mainly from everyone here being so understanding of others.
|
aspergers
|
Idk I feel like everything is my fault even stuff that isn’t entirely related to my trauma and that I’m a shit person for some of the things I have done before and pretty much got my karma through experiencing the trauma. Ex: (7 years ago I body shamed someone because I was tired of them being rude to me or whatever and thought that’s how people are supposed to stand up for themselves by being assholes to people who were assholes because that’s what people around me told me to do and now I developed an ED) so yeah. Karma. I’m trying to avoid this guilt but it feels like I deserve everything I get. I mean it’s too late to control the past now but yeah idk when the guilt will go away.
|
ptsd
|
Hi everyone! So apparently some people on vyvense can't get drunk when they drink alcohol, not psychologically anyway, just the physical effects, and unfortunately I'm one of those people (got alcohol poison without actually getting tipsy... yay.)
Anyway, for people who don't get the psychological "drunk" effects of drinking while on vyvense, how long do you have to go without vyvense to feel them again?
(If it's more than a day it's not worth it but I miss getting tipsy at parties!)
|
ADHD
|
i have mental compulsions and i worry about when i inevitably get the flu or sick in some way: being bed ridden sounds awful, i feel like my compulsions will take reign over me if i stop for too long. what can i do?
|
OCD
|
1. Lack of motivation.
2. Feeling like you know exactly how someone feels about a situation.
3. Obsessing over certain people. For me it's about being their friend. I've also notice me obsessing over tv shows and the people in them for a while.
4. Feeling like your life is like a movie.
5. Hate going to the store alone. I feel so awkward.
6. I can be so shy and quiet sometimes but other times I'm so honest to people (mostly work people or bosses) about how I feel about something.
7. I come to life at night. I can even get a little to outgoing and weird lol
8. Does anybody else overthink how people feel about them? One second I'm like "yep, they like me" and the next I'm like "dang, they must hate me so much, what did I do wrong, how can I fix this?"
9. Laundry is the devil.
10. Feeling a little depressed doing fun things because they always seem to be a blur in the moment and you feel like you aren't actually living it up or you won't remember some things.
11. I'm sure there are others I forgot.
|
ADHD
|
Learn to live with uncertainty. Accept that you will never be 100% sure about what will happen. Dethrone security.
Most likely, nothing will ever happen. Just as it has likely never happened in the past, it won't happen now either. If anything does happen, you'll be able to deal with it, because we are stronger than our fears. But you have a mental condition. The same one that millions around the world have, with the same symptoms, and the same worries. So, It's wayyyy more likely that what you're fearing is just ocd exaggerating stuff, as it always has done and always will do.
|
OCD
|
I realised the other day that it's been months if not years where I've had more than maybe a day where I was worried or obsessing internally over something. I'm so tired of being so stressed all the time, I wish I could go back to a time when I had less to worry about, when I was just a kid who didn't have any responsibilities. I have my adult responsibilities and feel nearly constantly overwhelmed, I'm on a waitlist for therapy but the waiting time is literally over a year till my first appointment. I'm so sick of being overwhelmed
|
OCD
|
You can engage in self-delusion all you want. Tell yourself that autistic people get benefits and assistance because they need LESS help due to their SUPERPOWER, but the reality is - It's a bad thing.
Autism is literally brain malfunction.
I realized how much better neurotypicals have it when my symptoms were somewhat a bit loosened. Not having autism truly is a bliss.
|
aspergers
|
What happens for everyone when you attempt to reread the email before submitting to your boss or before you turn in a final essay? I’ve always been told by bosses that my “emails are so professional, but that I will have missing words here and there and a final check can really help”. I do check it over and over, filling in missing words in my head! Anyone else?
|
ADHD
|
I want to tell my best friend all the hardships. My best friend affirms me. My best friend entertains me and I'm very happy when I'm talking to my best friend. But my best friend is very busy. Who should I rely on when it's really, really, really hard? I often worry about midnight so everyone isn't awake
|
OCD
|
How easy it is to give up than to fight
against the screams over the head
I have seen it all
While I was drowning in the well of death
Raising my left hand up
Trying to let people know I need help
None but I found my self helping
As i tried to get above the sinking well
I saw those people two faced kindness ones
Who always insist they are there for everyone
And that kindness matters the most
But they kept reaching the pebbles from the soil
and pouring into the deep dreaded well
Drowning me yet again in the wider depth.
As for my final wish is to have a graveyard
Jotted with "I told you I was sick."
Who ever is brave enough to put the carving down
Would be thankful for until the epitaph fades.
|
depression
|
I currently take zoplicone for chronic insomnia (note I can stay asleep but not fall asleep) but after pro longed use (monitored and approved by psychiatrist) I’ve noticed a decrease in its effectiveness also it’s not a medication that you can take for years. I just wanted to hear if anyone with insomnia has had any luck with long term sleep aids and which worked for them?
|
ptsd
|
Can anybody share how they received an OCD diagnosis in Canada? I have a previous ADHD diagnosis from my family doctor, but I am wondering if I can approach this differently.
I am petrified of my intrusive thoughts and do not feel comfortable sharing them with my family doctor or psychotherapist.
I am hoping I could be referred to someone who specializes in OCD to share my experience/symptoms.
Has anybody been able to get diagnosed this way? Anything helps. Thank you.
EDIT: Was there a cost associated to your diagnosis?
|
OCD
|
Hiii I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I’ve had a very hard time with it for years. Now that I am on a trial for the medication I have set appointments with therapists and my doc and I have been trying to read more about tools and strategies I can use to help. Reading about everyone has given me some kind of hope and I tear up just thinking about a life where I don’t feel like I’m just out of control of everything so I just wanted to ask what has helped everyone else?
|
ADHD
|
I just got diagnosed for ADHD a couple of months ago and just started 20 mg Vyvanse yesterday. The doctor said he is going to increase dose to 30mg in a couple of weeks. Just wanted to know about everyone else's experience when they first started medication? How did you feel and how did that change over time?
|
ADHD
|
So I have been having issues finding a therapist I like since March 2020 shut everything down. I was taking Prozac for a while but when my scrip went out I went to my new GP to ask for a refill and she refused to give it to me so I have been without any meds since October.
I spent a lot of time trying to get a new psych/therapist and FINALLY go into see one yesterday. I have very mixed feelings about her but she gave me meds so I suppose I should be thankful? That feels very weird.
She was very high energy and trying to be as kind and helpful as I think she knew how but was pretty victim blaming (my PTSD is from childhood trauma, compounded by an abusive relationship and college frat-holes). She went on a whole thing about how drinking was my problem and if I didn't drink that wouldn't have happened. Also she wanted me to know not to trust my partner because they will leave me with kids, alone and with an STD?? Like wtf. I am glad I got the meds but this feels like a lot the more I sit with her comments.
|
ptsd
|
Hi, I am looking for OCD treatment online as I'm currently living in the FSU where such treatment offering first line OCD treatment such as ERT aren't available as of yet.
Any ideas?
|
OCD
|
Mid 40s female diagnosed 4 years ago. All my kids also have ADHD. I am on meds for depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I have tolerance issues with my ADHD meds and often have to switch them up or take drug vacations to avoid having them lose their effectiveness. When they do work, I function at around 70% ish.
I only I need therapy as the other half of my treatment. I only have one doctor choice here. He does his best but doesn't know enough about it to go further than he has. There isn't a knowledgeable psychologist or psychologist within 300 km of here.
I tried very hard tp find one online but they either had very little experience with adhd or had long waiting lists and charged $150 per hour. I know that at least in the beginning I would need it 2-3 times a week so financially that's not doable not to mention my health care doesn't cover the cost.
I feel like I just fight every day with myself and it's exhausting. I need the specialized counciling with someone who really understands this to get moving in a positive direction. But the truth is, there is a disappointing amount of mental health professionals who only know how to provide blanket type therapy a d that has never worked for me. At least in my experience here. When I spend more time educating then about ADHD, I know that this person isn't going to be much help.
I feel hopeless and depressed. Where is this help I'm supposed to be able to reach for? I just don't know how to get out of this hole.
|
ADHD
|
Well actually, I did a bit of OCD therapy for about 1 month in 2019, but a personal tragedy derailed that whole thing. With the pandemic and work and school I haven’t gone back since. But I can feel myself struggling more and more every day…
I know I should go, but I’m really hesitant because exposure therapy is tough (at least has been in my experience). I’m scared, and it’s really hard to imagine a future where the OCD is not intruding in my everyday life.
For context, I’m a 25 yo dude, I live in Atlanta (so I’d appreciate it if anyone knows about good therapists in the area), and I’ve lived with pretty intrusive OCD for 8.5ish years.
Idk, I know I should, and I can feel myself ready to do this, but I’m struggling to actually put my recovery plan in motion. I thought I’d post here bc y’all are awesome.
|
OCD
|
I am living out a nightmare. My favorite movie of all time has come eerily true for me.
For those that haven't seen it, the main character David Aames makes one decision that completely alters his fate - at the age of 32 while on top of the world, just after meeting who was likely the love of his life, he gets in a tragic accident based on one decision to get in a car with a girl who drives off a bridge. He is disfigured, in chronic pain and loses his mental state to where he can no longer attract the girl he longed for.
Myself, at age 32, had seemingly everything - the love of his life, great financial status, a nice childfree family with 3 animals, confidence and happiness. I made what I feel was a silly decision to let my neck be adjusted by a "gentle, never forceful" chiropractor who was anything but... he really fucked up and left me with chronic nerve pain. I didn't even have any apparent neck issues, but thought it would help align me from a car accident 1.5yr prior, injuries from which paled in comparison. This incident sent me into my first ever crisis/depression, and I was not able to be myself or be present for my spouse. This led to emotional infidelity, which broke our trust bond. My wife had lost interest in me and just started looking for the bad... she checked out and left me 1 year later with half of all the income I'd accumulated for us.
I just had a stupid self-torturing nostalgic photo session looking back at our last international vacation where I was so happy and healthy. I long for those days.
The main character David Aames says to his girl in the end "I lost you when I got in that car.". I feel like I lost my wife (and my life) when I went to that chiropractor.
"Consequences, David"
|
depression
|
What’s the most ADHD thing you’ve ever done? I just had a contender for the top spot this morning. I wake up to my alarm, go back to sleep, wake up to my backup alarm, go back to sleep, wake up to my back up back up alarm and finally get up. As soon as I get up, I realize my room is freezing. I leave my bedroom and realize I left my fridge open for around eight hours. The night before, I was supposed be loading some water bottles into my fridge and I guess I just got distracted and walked off while in the middle of doing that. This made me wonder about what kinds of moments you guys have had.
|
ADHD
|
It's not until more recently that I've actually become aware of my incapability to identify someones accent and age properly. I find accents more difficult to understand anyway but I'm really not good at identifying where someone could be from or where their accent is from. I also just cannot seem to get my head around guessing someones *rough* age. If I talk about someone and want to identify 'they are around this age' I often end up saying '*they're probably about 34 ish....but they could be in their early 20s....or maybe they're near 40...roughly...I'm not actually sure*' and the more I've recently picked up on it and thought about it, the more I realise that I most likely couldn't even roughly guess someones age accurately and with confidence unless they're a baby or really old.
I'm not sure whether this could be ADHD related but its something I've really picked up on in the last year. This year I've had so much more time to analyse everything I do and say and this is one of the many things I've now realised about myself.
So whether you're 26 or 43 and speak with a Liverpudlian accent or a Texas accent, I wouldn't be able to guess if you were to ask me to my face in most circumstances.
*\*I'm also not sure whether it could maybe be down to a lack of education or experience in hearing peoples accents?\**
Just thought I'd share as I'm quite an observant person but find it odd that I have this minor struggle with identifying ages and accents.
|
ADHD
|
when i am about to watch a movie , a serie that i like, or just smoke a joint, i have to check the whooole motherfucking house, every inch, everything have to be " just" and i start looking for shit to make it " just" all of this for no fucking reason, i am frustrated omg, i can't even have a happy moment in peace
|
OCD
|
So im very happy to have Reddit but im sick of my current situation.
I'm addicted to self erotism - Im quitting smoking hash because my lungs are pretty bad.
I don't have the willpower to do anything.
Just watching YouTube... Got stuck..help
|
depression
|
Almost 6 years after my ID became invalid, I'm about to get a new one.
I don't even know how I got by without one but I did mostly. I guess other forms of identification.
But this stuff makes me wonder what's wrong with me. I think my biggest problem is lack of sleep. I always wake up late and most important things and institutions operate in the morning.
|
ADHD
|
Hi I’m new here
First post on Reddit…
Anyway I’ve been caught in this thing called a “vicious cycle” I’ve always been a social individual. Love to entertain, make people laugh, the life of the party and so on. Anyway long story short here
I’m inching towards 30 and I’ve been caught in this vicious cycle for far to long where now it’s starting to put a tole on my home life and health. I feel I may have been chasing happiness my whole life looking for something that isn’t there.
I always looked to the weekend I would be depressed Monday to Thursday and no one would know, I was always the one cracking jokes and first to fill a room with confidence…. Unfortunately for many evenings after work especially when I’ve hit a manic state I would get home from work have a quick meal and crawl into bed on the daily routine until the weekend rolled around… than I started to feel a little better. Everyone wanted to meet up party stay up, laugh cheers all the good stuff. And I found my happiness in partying drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and doing copious amounts of drugs staying up every weekend until the sun came up and I was on a random patio with random people smoking cigarettes while the loser birds sang the morning song. This was a vicious cycle I’ve been caught up in for the better part of 10 years. I’m really trying to get on a better path in life in the last few years. I find that I hit these manic states where I legit forget about my entire life my loved ones around me everything I won’t leave bed for a week it’s horrible. And I Find it seems to chase after a night involving alcohol…. I’ve gained nearly 100 pounds over the last 5 years from the late nights and bad habits. To the long weeks and dark depression looking for a quick fix in comfort food and all the things that help you sleep at night.. I’d kick it for a few weeks be in the gym cooking meals feeling great. Than a social event would come around full of all the “fun stuff”
I mean the easy answer is quit drinking and doing drugs and everything bad for you. But the sad part is I find my self in these holes even when kicking substances for months at a time and I can never find or reach that happiness that I feel when I’m out being “the life of the party” it’s dark
I guess what time trying to say or ask is who else is out there caught in this vicious cycle . Can we help one another
Let’s talk… find peace to this .
Thank you for taking your time to read my post… sorry for my horrible grammar
Talk soon
Much love
|
depression
|
Is it just me? Is this an Asperger's thing???
My sister in law will say things (in a joking matter) but then later on I come to realize that I didn't like it. I'll tell her how I feel and it's always the same thing: "it's like I can't joke with you/you take things too seriously." Um, sorry? I've tried telling her that my brain is wired than hers without giving the 'I have Asperger's' excuse, even though it's true. (I have a nephew with very high functioning Autism, you wouldn't even realize he has it. His mom, my other sister in law, used to go around "my son has autism, my son has autism" like excuse after excuse or attention. I can't think of the last time she did this...so I'm trying to avoid being like her.) My stepmom actually agrees with her, that I take things too seriously. I guess so.
|
aspergers
|
I was leaving a busy main st in my city. Someone driving a uhaul literally starts backing up on the street and turns and takes the exit they missed. I almost hit them going 60. So as they're going to their exit I roll down the window and call them a stupid motherfucker. I'm worried that I'll go viral. Idk if they were recording me or not. Sorry if this sounds stupid.
|
OCD
|
Ever since last year I’ve had an obsession with possibly having lice (or ticks or any other bugs on me, but mostly lice). I bought a hat on amazon and decided not to wash it because it would be something new, but ever since wearing it for the first time I can’t bring myself to wear it again and am frequently checking myself to make sure I don’t have lice. I looked over the reviews and didn’t find any that mentioned lice but was too scared to look any deeper (however it is rated like almost 5 stars, and the bad reviews I saw were all about how the hat was easily damaged or smelled weird). I’m trying not to get so bad that I start obsessively scratching my head or asking someone to check my head multiple times a day but I’m absolutely terrified. I want to be sure I don’t have it but I know it would turn into daily head checks and obsessive scratching if I feed into it. This is so frustrating but I can’t stop thinking about it.
|
OCD
|
i fucking hate my teeth everything about them. As a kid my parents didn’t care, told me to brush my teeth but never really drilled it into me and so it went undone, and growing up as my terrible thoughts persisted i began to stop taking care of myself and my teeth would go in rushed for months. Then i’d go to the dentist, have cavities filled and my mom would yell at me and never try to encourage me. I know it’s my fault my teeth are like this but how am i supposed to take care of my teeth when i can’t even take care of myself? now i’m 16, glad masks aren’t a requirement so nobody can see just how atrocious my teeth are, they’re disgusting cavity filled and my back top right moler is practically about to loose it’s bottom half. Miraculously none of it hurts when i chew or anything, but it feels terrible to know these are in my mouth. I’ve asked my mother to get time to the dentist several times and she says she’ll call but she hasn’t, some people are telling me this is neglect but i don’t even know anymore. Please, somebody tell me what to do or how to do something to make it better.
|
depression
|
At least 15% of americans alone are on antidepressants. This is much more of an epidemic than the pandemic of covid. What is causing it? I know everyone isnt this broken to start, it cant be genetic.
|
depression
|
Hey everyone! I am in the midst of a flareup and feeling a bit hopeless. I would love for you guys to comment success stories where you have controlled your symptoms and (sorta) found peace.
|
OCD
|
I’ve let depression take control of my life for so long. So many experiences missed, setbacks, lost friendships, and ruined moments. I’ve finally had ENOUGH and I want to put in change. I am 18 years old and am enrolled in a community college where all my classes are online. I’ve found the transfer between high school and college to be very difficult on my mental health. I lost contact with a bunch of friends due to them enrolling in universities. I was embarrassed about the fact that I stayed in my hometown and went to community college even though there is nothing wrong with it and that my social life was slowly withering. I had all A’s in the beginning of the semester and was motivated to do my work so I can transfer to university quickly. However, my depression started to eat me alive. I never left the house, barely even could get out of bed, my body would be in so much pain constantly, and I’d cry almost everyday. It was unbearable. The exercise I was doing everyday I stopped even taking walks and I was slowly getting back into my old habits. After taking a trip with my family in order to help regain my mental health, I am just now starting to slowly change things for the better. I am giving my room a brand new makeover and am going to take my permit test so I can start driving myself places and to my college for future semesters. My relationship with my family has also gotten better. However, I feel an extreme overwhelming since of dread about all the assignments, exams, even midterms that I’ve missed due to my depression and I am afraid that I will fail my classes this semester. I know that if I fail I’ll take a huge hit and stop all the progress I am making and be even more depressed than the beginning. I am trying to work on everything else in my life for the better but I am finding my grades to be difficult to improve even with me doing current assignments. Hopefully everything works out in the end and the new treatment I’m seeking works great.
|
depression
|
Im a sneeze away from 35 and I haven't heard a sober "I love you" since never. Sometimes I get a nonchalant(used Google voice cause I'm a shit wordsmith).
Fuck, its weird being difficult in your mind.
Cest la vive!
|
depression
|
It's overwhelming knowing that I'll never enjoy life as much as I did when I was a kid. The music, memories, everything was just so perfect. But now nothing has the same sparkle as it did. This was only a few years ago, which shows how quickly everything went downhill. Nostalgia sucks
|
depression
|
I'm tired of being trapped in my life. Trapped by sleepless nights. Trapped by expectations. Trapped by others needs and wants that I am obligated to fulfill. My life has never been mine it has always been to please someone else. I'm so worthless my own life has no meaning or value to me. I want a way out of this trap.
|
depression
|
I believe I was diagnosed when I was in Kindergarten. I'm 36. I've been able to achieve various accomplishments in life, but dating has been very challenging to be successful at. I've gone on several first dates, but I've never had a girlfriend.
It seems like people like my "texting" personality more than my "in person" personality.
The other night I saw a woman for the second time, we went walking at the Zoo to look at the decorated lights, when I asked how she thought our outing went, she said it was nice but that I wasn't very talkative. She would have liked if I would have pointed things out to her that I noticed. She felt that she was the one exploring and I was just there for the ride. I guess maybe I'm just used to silently observing things in that type of environment and not talking about it because I am so used to doing things on my own. She mentioned that she has to put a lot of effort to get me to give her more than a sentence or two answer to a question. She said that sometimes I will pause for a long time when she asks me a question. She's really cool and we have a lot in common, but she definitely is the type to ask a lot of questions because she wants to get to know me and sometimes I don't always have an answer for her to the question.
I almost never get a lot of feedback from people, so this seemed pretty valuable, I just don't know what to do with it. I know that most people are going to want an active participant when they evaluate people for a friendship or relationship, so I know that I need to be better if I don't want to be alone, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do. Has anyone been there and solved this issue for themself?
I know there are people in here who have had success with partners, how have you been able to get there?
|
aspergers
|
**note: im a teenager in high school, not depressed or sad, in fact im really happy**
so basically im failing everything, ive lost all motivation. this doesnt bother me, because i know everyone is going through this, but what does, is the fact that i was once a very good student, i say this as humbly as possible, but i lost 6 marks on a test out of 350 in my first year of a course im doing at school (religious course, including translations and grammar of a foreign language etc), its incredibly hard but i was so focused and strong willed. even for our normal national curriculum subjects i was so hardworking, i would come home and revise my ass off for a week in advance.
i dont know what happened to me but i got 10.5 out of 40, 6 out of 10 (multiple choice quiz). for that last one i even got the answers, so i cheated and got that bad on a super easy test. i never cheat, ive been so so against it and for years my friends have been telling me im too uptight and boring and nerdy and rule-abiding. that was because of my Aspergerness and now ive changed into this rebellious teenager which i definitely am not.
|
aspergers
|
My college offers free therapy sessions and I feel like I should go but I also don’t know if I’m being dramatic or not.
Recently I just feel like I express everything on the outside and don’t really know if I understand what I’m feeling inside, but Ive been having a lot of anger outbursts and have randomly started crying in public\ at random times. I also feel my self worth completely deteriorating and I don’t want this to get worse and spiral into depression, but I also just don’t know if this is a common thing with ADHD that goes away/ other people experience, and if it is, I don’t want to take time away from the professionals where other kids with actual problems could be getting help they need. Any advice/ experience with this?
|
ADHD
|
I have been friends with her for 9 years. We live together now. And with her boyfriend. It's the weekend, so his sister is over to visit. They leave together without telling me anything. They are laughing, having fun, I can hear them from the other room. Nobody says a word to me. Not inviting, nothing. I feel like garbage, I want to disappear. In fact, I have been ignored by this best friend for several days. Or maybe since moving in. Am I a fucking ghost? She said she didn't need to spend time together. That she only needs her boyfriend. Okay, but why is she having the best time with his sister now? I wonder if she will notice if I kill myself. Maybe after a few days. By the smell. I've never been so lonely and hurt. It's been a long time since I wanted to disappear. It fucking sucks.
|
depression
|
So since the pandemic of course my OCD has flared for too long and it’s time we sort it, so.. any clue first steps.
I’m gonna label this as the start I gotta get past is being around civilisation comfortably again without having to be over aware of my surroundings as we all was before covid
|
OCD
|
Everything is exhausting.
I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
|
depression
|
I went to work for three hours (new part-time job, still learning the ropes) and I have dinner with my in-laws tonight, and I already feel mentally/socially exhausted. Being Work Social and/or Out-to-Dinner Social is way more tiring than being Friend Social.
I was going to go see my niece afterwards (parents are babysitting) but I decided to just go back home; my in-laws, husband, and I are going to dinner tonight for his birthday so i want to be recharged by then. I’m giving him space like he wanted since he got the day off and I’m glad to have some time to myself anyways. Idk, I’ve just felt weird and lowkey really anxious all day.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to make it through the rest of today without a meltdown or anything but ugh. You ever have those days where you just feel Extra Autistic? That’s kind of where I’m at right now for no good reason; I don’t usually tire out *this* quickly.
|
aspergers
|
I have a problem, that I cannot materially solve (my neighbor) for at least another year.
and this is triggering A LOT of sensory overload, specially in this rainy stay at home days. I am thinking on maybe getting noise canceling headphones so I can at least try and continue working from home. I could try and seek a co working place but I don't know if that would help, and I am becoming desperate, there isn't a day going by that I am not getting at least a minor crisis of it this is halting my life.
it also not helps that the fact that this annoying piece of shit is here is the reason my best friend, who was also acting as my body double a lot of the times moved cities (he is her dad, and just came back from England and "needed the house") and I can hear almost anything he does, I do not like this I am not fine. help me.
would noise canceling headphones at least help me?
|
ADHD
|
My main issue in that I ruminate.
I have a history of anger as it allows me to control things. When I'm not controlling things my anxiety flares horribly. I've done a lot of work and have been on various low-dose meds for a few years, which helps. I stopped taking my meds two months ago because I did not like how it felt and am waiting for my doctor's appointment.
In addition to flare-ups, I have been building up big arguments in my head. Something sets me off and my brain is building arguments and counter-arguments and getting angrier and angrier at something that has not happened. They are often rooted in reality, but I am making them into pitch battles. For example, I got myself really angry at my son's teacher. I crafted an email to her, which I forced myself to be nice about. She got back within 15 minutes with a reasonable response and it kicked the wind out of my whole angry being.
Currently, I am stomping around about my son, some work things, my wife.... I don't want to let go of it, either. I'm just waiting for someone to say something that "gives me permission" to then pop off, which is not really fair. Nor helpful. But I fear that if I sit down and have a rational discussion my needs won't get met. Say what you will, but anger gets results in the short term.
This is not who I want to be. I know from previous work the right answers, but right now I'm just okay with my built up rage and feel a power in people walking on eggshells around me. It is really unhealthy and I don't know how to stop. I've never been in this cycle exactly like this before where I just don't know how to jump off.
|
OCD
|
When I'm stuck with a compulsion (for me, it's repetetive checking) I have two notes that say
"It's not about gaining certainty but about being able to withstand uncertainty" and "More repetitions don't yield more certainty - on fact, they reduce it".
When I notice that I'm stuck in a ritual I take a step back to read these and then I usually get it over with.
What are our little tips that you recite to yourself?
|
OCD
|
Quite often recently I keep having episodes where I think something out. Go to implement usually work emails or client communications and as I'm typing out what I had in my brain everything does a 180 and my brain moves on to something else without my consent but my hands are still trying to finish what I originally started out. Then I go to read what I just did and I sound completely drunk or high.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
This used to happen a lot when I was younger but then it went away for a long time starting around the time I graduated high school. Now at 41 all of a sudden it seems to be happening with more frequency. I'm not talking about a long timeframe either. Maybe 60 seconds mapping something out in my head. Then 30 seconds into implementation and BAM! Squirrel! I'm pretty good at longer-term and reeling myself back in but that momentary lapse causes some major productive issues.
|
ADHD
|
… you realize you can’t hide like Zoom lets you turn off a camera
I went to my first in-person class today with an old professor of mine who teaches my senior graduation class and we were talking about first impressions about a few articles. This public policy college is known for not being the most economically studied, just because we make the joke “We’re here because we can’t do math.”
When it got to my turn, I started talking about economics but stopped because I saw confusion on everyone’s faces. I then ask if what I said made sense. My professor shrugged. “I don’t know but I think so.” He said it in a tone I couldn’t quite catch but it made people laugh. At him? At me? Not sure.
The whole interaction just made me feel gross and embarrassed.
My question to everyone is if there’s a way I can be less sensitive to this sort of thing on the inside?
Edits: for context, I’m the youngest in class by a long shot (skipped a year) so I still have the eagerness of a sophomore and that might have put him off? I had also read the material just before class while it was fresh in my mind. Not quiiiiite sure I would call it bullying but it definitely stung.
|
aspergers
|
I'm in my late 20s and have suspected that I have mild-moderate ADHD for many years (mostly inattention). All 3 of my siblings have been formally diagnosed with it and take medication, but I don't think that it interferes with my function/quality of life enough for me to meet the criteria for a diagnosis. I have been discussing it with my sister and she thinks that I should undergo formal testing with a psychiatrist.
I'm a doctor now, so obviously have done well enough academically to get into med school and then complete it, but (at the risk of sounding very arrogant) I think that I was probably smart enough to get through by doing a lot less work than I should have, and I know that I studied a lot less than most of my friends/colleagues. I also didn't do particularly well in med school, I just coasted through and wasted hundreds of hours procrastinating until the absolute last minute.
Anyway, now I'm working full time and I don't think my possible ADHD affects me too much at work, I'm good at writing to-do lists, and the very varied nature of my work suits my short attention span. I know I am good at my job, so even if given a formal diagnosis I don't think I would want to take medication at work.
But I'm also doing a part-time master's and reaaaally struggling with procrastination. Even today, I was aiming to sit down and power through the weeks of lectures I'm behind on (lol). So I took one of my sister's ADHD medications to see if it would help me and instead I've become incredibly focused on researching ADHD and wasted the whole day reading about that... which leads me here.
**My question is: If I don't want medication, is there any benefit from a formal diagnosis? Can anyone share their experiences of how a diagnosis was helpful to them without medication?**
Note: I've done several diagnostic tests I found online, so I know that I do meet many of the criteria (constantly daydream, distracted, poor listening, poor short term memory, never listening in class etc), so I'm not here for an online diagnosis.
Perhaps I'm just after some validation that I'm not lazy and making excuses for my lack of discipline?
|
ADHD
|
Was on Zoloft from August 2020 to about Julyish of 2021 I felt happier, my anxiety levels were low and I felt better and more productive at work. But I broke my leg in June, but in the midst of all the medications and pain I completely stopped Zoloft. I’m back to work now and have felt my anxiety and depression take a jump so I continued taking my script and have felt somewhat better in the last week. But I’ve noticed some of the same side effects, like clenching my jaw while not realizing it. I’ve also noticed that I feel more withdrawn whirl having a conversation. Just earlier I felt like I could not respond because my mind just couldn’t focus on the conversation. Anyone else have this happen?
|
depression
|
Need to get some money fast
Need some cash
Need it fast
Too much Stress is not a blast
How long will all this stress last!
How long can I deal with this wrong, stressful stress is no pretty song
Stress ain’t weak, but it is sure strong
need less stress, too much stress, this stress it is like a pest
Might need pills, can’t pay bills
need some money, feel so crummy…
Too much stress, is not funny
But it’s stressful
Most jobs worked at, they were such bull
Not just work, but cause asshole
not just jerk, he was an asshole!
Not much pay, but worked all day
but lots a crap, did that prick say
that’s my rap so
Hope you liked it, or did that blow?
I do not know, this is no show
And I do not smoke…weed or pot. Hoe!
don’t assume I’m lazy,
if I don’t work job that pays me
Cause I have fucking O.C.D, and O.C.D is crazy!
so next time if you see me, and you think I need to work more
Maybe don’t assume shit, cause that shit I really abhor
really fucking so poor
I can’t rent a room even, or barley food at a store
Avoidance it is a chore, Obsessions make my mind sore
Lazy isn’t it or, lazy ain’t why I’m poor
So Next time if you want to assume, assume that shit no more.
|
OCD
|
So I have had a VR headset for a while now and I have been enjoying it. One of the things I really enjoy is socializing with other people over an app called VR Chat, which is basically an online game where people can play mini games or just hang out together.
There really isn't a typical age of people on the app and I've seen people as old as 27 to as young as 9 on the app. Generally I hang out with people my age, but some of the people I interact with are younger adults 18-20. Some of the younger adults hang out with teenagers around 15 or so and of course there are maturity differences. Lots of raunchy high school humor and such.
I am 23 and suffer from POCD. Normally I'd not have issues with interacting with younger people/minors but I get increasingly uncomfortable with the raunchy sexual humor and often ignore it or change the subject. My OCD had been quieter for a while now but now it is latching into the idea that spending time with adults younger than me by like 5 years is inappropriate and any interaction at all with minors is inappropriate.
I know this could also help via ERP therapy but I can't help but think others think that the age difference is not ok and that it reflects on me strangely. I graduated college/high school early and am pretty socially stunted as is, but is this interaction inappropriate or dangerous? Is it irresponsible of me?
Heck I've had friends at 18 that were a decade older, is it just a tad weird but otherwise ok?
|
OCD
|
does anyone else have a weird relationship with their perception of time? like, it's been almost two years since that night and it feels like it just happened yesterday, but it also feels like it's been forever. not sure if i'm the only one or not? i can't really wrap my head around the whole time-passing thing.
|
ptsd
|
>**U.S. Postal Service Issues 'Healing' Stamp to Help Americans Struggling With PTSD**
>
>Showing your support for military veterans and others afflicted with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is now just a lick away. This week, the United States Postal Service (USPS) released a new Healing PTSD stamp, with proceeds going toward the assistance and treatment of service members and civilians struggling with emotional and psychological symptoms brought on by a troubling life event.
>
>The front of the stamp, which features a green plant growing from a pile of fallen leaves, is intended to symbolize healing. The stamp is what the USPS refers to as semipostal, which is postage that sells for a premium in order to raise funds for causes thought to be in the public interest. The Healing PTSD edition is 65 cents, or 10 cents more than a regularly-priced first-class stamp. That money, minus the postage paid and the reimbursement of reasonable costs acquired by the Postal Service, will be distributed to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and routed to the National Center for PTSD.
>
>[Mental Floss](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/609772/usps-stamp-will-help-people-cope-ptsd)
* [USPS - U.S. Postal Service Dedicates Healing PTSD Semipostal - Dec 2019](https://about.usps.com/newsroom/national-releases/2019/1202-healing-ptsd-semipostal-fundraising-stamp-on-sale-today-nationwide.htm)
|
ptsd
|
fuck it i hate feeling this false ‘happiness’ under the illusion of my medication while all my depressive thoughts are still there hiding in the crevices of my mind only to surface occasionally and cause the facade of this ‘happiness’ to come crashing down its just too many ups and downs with medication i might as well just feel the downs i can’t be the only one that prefers my depression over facades of happiness at least with depression i see things as how they truly are.
|
depression
|
Hi guys. Today is a weird day and I have no one to talk to. I‘ve been eating way too much, I literally feel nothing today. I wish I could just be someone else somehow, I feel like I‘m not good enough in my old skin. I wanna lose weight, i wanna have healty hair and skin. I feel so ..idk weird.
|
depression
|
I am taking vyvanse 60mg, I thought it was working because it made me feel more "awake". But it only felt like that because I was getting 3 hours of sleep for 14 hour days. I saw all these posts about how eye-opening and emotional taking meds was for them. Not once have I felt this, I just feel slightly caffeinated if anything but no symptom relief. I realize that its partially in my hands to make the initiative and utilize it but I dont feel that is happening. Only thing I really notice is time going by faster than normal. If I want to catch up on sleep and sleep in, by the time by day has started its late afternoon. Is it my chronic exhaustion preventing the effectiveness of it ? I do have sleep aids that work effectively but due to my work-school schedule I cannot take them without interfering with my ability to finish school work in the morning.
\- I have an appointment coming up to discuss
\- How do I know its working ? My partner got the emotional moment at only 45mg. Say they feel more capable of starting tasks, motivated, and able to access thoughts easily. I feel no different, maybe more awake and time is faster. Maybe my depression is acting up ?
im just done idk what to do... I want my degree so bad but I cannot even study for finals they dont hold enough urgency anymore. nothing does, my brain want to dissociate but then gets anxious for lack of productivity and then cannot sleep because I forgot to take sleep meds/I feel undeserving of it as I didnt accomplish anything. I take vyvanse every day becasue I have so much to do all the time, yet i do nothing with or without meds. i dont even know if i want to continue, life should not be this hard. maintaining this asinine schedule just to have a roof and food and barley enough spoons to take care of myself ...society sucks we need change yet nothing is happening to get there.... i could go on forever but I simply dont want to or care im just done
TL;DR im done, society sucks it causes all my struggles. im burnt out. I am so burnt I dont think my vyvanse is working. how do I know it is ? I never had the emotional moment everyone else seems to have
|
ADHD
|
I am staying in a hotel and I am HORRIFIED I will bring home bed bugs. I checked as much as I could in the room I didnt really see any signs. I checked the beds curtains chairs floor around the bed and furniture. I am still horrified and freaking out. I do not wanna bring these things home if somehow I missed any signs :(
|
OCD
|
I bought a car a few months before my last day in high school. I have not driven it since that day, which was in 2018. I fear that I may end up in a life changing crash, run someone over, and cause severe accidents. I want to drive already, but i feel such extreme fear just by looking at my car. i feel so bad about it, just sitting there for years. how can i stop these thoughts?
|
OCD
|
So last night I got this anon on Tumblr calling out the fact that I watch Youtubers who have made some very insensitive and occasionally bigoted jokes in the past, including saying slurs (which they luckily have since apologized for and they have removed a lot of that content from their channel). The anon was vague and didn't seem like it was in good faith, so I responded by acknowledging that I did not condone those behaviors and explained why I still watched them and why I didn't think the ask was as productive as it could have been.
However this sort of thing triggers my moral OCD badly. I became convinced I couldn't watch the Youtubers at all, which often spirals into being afraid to enjoy *any* media. Seeking reassurance, I ended up venting in my discord server about how the anon was in the wrong, which ended up being insensitive in itself as I basically suggested that I was a Good Fan and that people shouldn't criticize the media I watch, which isn't what I truly believe. This understandably got people upset with me. We talked it over and I apologized and owned up to my own inappropriate behavior engaging in media, but now I'm torn because my feelings aren't gone. I didn't want to center the conversation around my feelings, because that bigoted behavior doesn't affect me, but I also want to rid myself of the moral anxiety without relapsing into the same inappropriate self-centered reassurance-seeking. I'm currently missing my own belated birthday celebration with my family because I didn't want to walk away from the conversation while I still had these anxious feelings, and I ended up yelling at my mom to leave me alone because I couldn't explain what was happening. I feel terrible for doing that as well, but I would have felt terrible if I walked away as if I didn't care about my responsibility to call out bigotry in media.
So my question is: How do y'all with moral OCD accept when you enjoy media that has problematic elements without lapsing into inappropriate compulsions such as reassurance-seeking? It's not healthy to flagellate myself over this but it's not healthy to completely ignore it either.
|
OCD
|
So I recently started a job that's majority admin. There's been a lot of overtime and I've been sincerely trying my best to keep track, to stay on time, and I thought I was doing somewhat ok. Today my manager suggested I reconsider logging my overtime because its work that falls within my regular job scope (and so many OT hours would reflect badly on me). This was a mainly for a few really busy days and I was relieved that even if I had to work late I'd be compensated. But him saying that everyone who had done this job had managed made me feel like the biggest failure. I'm still trying to work out the right levels of medication and strategies and I just feel humiliated that even my best isn't nearly good enough. How do you deal with setbacks like this and not let it discourage you? Any reassurance or advice would be very much appreciated. <3
|
ADHD
|
I suffer from ptsd due to multiple situations but the worst thing happened when i turned 13. I don’t like to go into detail but I have a friend who went through a similar thing when she was young and now obviously has ptsd from it.
I love her and help her through her panic attacks when she has them but every time all it makes me feel is awful. My response to what I went through seems to be to ignore that I went through a traumatic experience for months and instead I act numb and joke about it like it was nothing. It effects me on several levels but I’ve never had a severe and outward panic attack like she does and it makes me question if I actually have ptsd or if what happened was even that bad because I don’t react like that. I feel like my reaction and how I go day to day is too dull, and since I dont have too many major reactions to my trauma, that must mean I have none at all. It just makes me upset and confused and I dont know what to do
|
ptsd
|
I have been diagnosed with PTSD that are related to many different traumatic things in my life, especially when my feelings are invalidated. When I am triggered, I tend to transgress into childlike behaviors that are immature to an outside observer. In the moment, I can't react with much emotional sensibility until I have had time to cool off and process the moment. I've overreacted to things and laugh during inappropriate moments. I'm embarrassed by it and still need time to process these traumatic memories. How do you change these coping mechanisms?
I am perfectly capable to act with maturity and social awareness when I am calm but never when I am triggered. This is why I avoid having many personal relationships. My negative thought processes are constant and don't help a thing. I currently have a therapist that I can only talk on the phone with right now but not as often as I'd like. Will it be like this forever? I constantly struggle with this.
|
ptsd
|
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