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Since I was like, 12 I’ve barely been able to get out of bed and lived in this depressed malaise because of my depression around my trauma (and egg donor ((biomom)) furthering that Trauma.)
I want to be able to get myself out of bed at a normal person time. (7:00am since for work sometimes I’ve gotta he up at 6:00am)
I’ve tried moving my alarm clock across the room, setting 3 alarms, that app where you have to answer math questions for the alarm to turn off and even rolling out of bed and trying to let the pain of that wake me up. There’s more, obviously, but nothing has worked.
Does anyone have something that helps them get up? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
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ptsd
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I was wondering if anyone had tips for maintaining a healthy eating routine while on vyvanse?
Background, i’m on vyvanse and have been for a few months, recently got upped a dosage and it’s been helping as far as i can tell. I believe that i was put on vyvanse partially because of my weight and, even though i haven’t been diagnosed with it, i show symptoms of binge eating disorder(and adhd onviously). i might be wrong, but weight is brought up often during med visits. I do agree i need to lose weight, but i want to make sure it’s not from under-eating. it does decrease my appetite to an extreme, and though i do want to eat less, i’m worried that when i take my medicine i’m not eating enough. “too much”food makes me want to throw up, so i try to get at least something on my stomach for lunch and eat normal for dinner when it’s worn off, but the amount of food that my stomach thinks isnt “too much” isn’t nearly enough.
If anyone has found some techniques that have helped them with their appetite loss and has helped them eat regular meals while on medicine it would help a lot! I’ll ofc bring it up to my therapist but i’m not sure when i’ll next see her, and i want to see other peoples techniques and opinions too!
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ADHD
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are these common in people w/ ocd? I've been seeing 333 more frequently in the three weeks since quitting drinking and attempting. been feeling an odd 'energy shift' so to speak since july but can't shake the ideation and spacing out. 333 is is making 'more sense' and I can't rationalize my way out of it as before.
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OCD
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I had a good day and my mom told me to clean up and it just kinda ...worked? I spent half of the day not being able to do anything else, but now my room is clean. I just have to find a place for all the books.....
Also I made a strategy to remember learning vocabs: I placed all the vocab stuff, English, Latin and Ancient Greek on the head side of my bed so I look at them everytime I go to bed and remember that I have to learn them. I also found out that I can focus better (not really whatcha call focus, but my brain is tired and can't do three things at the same time then) when I'm tired, so I do everything related to school before I go to bed or already laying in bed. Sometimes I wake up at 4 in the night and get up so I can focus in school (also I can't sleep anymore).
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ADHD
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I feel like my life is a complete mess, especially right now. Lately, everything i do is self sabotage just like how yesterday , I didn’t take a test (last chance since I missed all the other opportunities given to me to retest) because I literally didn’t know anything about it. And yes it’s because I’ve been skipping her class and labs. I feel embarrassed and ashamed and I feel like I’m turning into my older brother (who’s “scared of success”). I’m in a loop that I can’t get out of. Now I’m considering self sabotaging again but this time, by skipping her class once again :( We have final exams next week and at this point I’ve accepted that I’m not just gonna pass her class.
I e been in therapy for a while and I meant to go to my college’s counselor because I really can’t deal with this feeling of being a failure. And it hurts even worse because it’s been nothing but my fault. And yesterday was my first day back from missing school last week, so I tried to motivate myself to do my work. As I’m attempting to do it, I literally felt as if I couldn’t understand anything! And that really blows because it made me feel even dumber. I’m honestly scared to go back to class because I let myself, lab partner, and professor down, who probably thinks i don’t care…. I mean I don’t anymore since I’ve made it to this point
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ADHD
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kinds of too ashamed to talk to anyone right now but i need a friend so badly. my psychiatrist and trauma therapist said it's normal for emotions to go haywire and stress responses to crop back up when you're concentrating years of trauma in one hour sessions so i guess lashing out is a human thing. but i feel like the biggest raging bitch and i want to disappear and i really hope the things i said don't get spread around.
I'm so exhausted with this drama.
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ptsd
|
I just started an accelerated after degree RN nursing program. I’m very excited to become a nurse but I’m also so scared that I won’t succeed because of my ADHD (in both the program and also the actual job).
I do very well in school but I feel like I’m often slower than other people. I’m medicated, and that helps a lot. I would say I’m relatively high functioning but I do have a lot of issues with anxiety, low self confidence, high stress, executive dysfunction. Im worried I won’t be able to take criticism or that I’ll make a mistake when im dealing with someone’s life. Im obviously going to work very hard to make sure this doesn’t happen and always take my meds.
Anyone who has ADHD and is a nurse how do you find it? How was school? How was the job? What type of unit do you work on? I am hoping my ability to hyper focus can be used as an advantage.
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ADHD
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Are you getting out of bed because you're afraid of the consequences if you don't?
Are you confronting a big assignment because you have no other choice?
Are you making a big life decision because you have to?
Interrogate your inner dialogue. Don't be mean to yourself. You have choices. You have control.
You can't always make hard decisions super quickly; sometimes it takes longer than expected to arrive at the answer.
Two days ago, I realized that I was struggling in school (well, because of my ADHD) and because I was trying so hard to do what my parents and professors expected. I realized that I had to finish school not to make them happy with me, but to fulfill myself. Reframing it helped me immensely. I'm doing this for myself.
You can do it for you, too.
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ADHD
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I think I am sinking back into a deep depression and in a very strange way this time around. Currently a law student and I am constantly feeling like I just don't have the energy to keep up the demands of law school let alone what a legal career will demand of me.
What do I do? I think I need antidepressants, but I've used them in the past and not only were they so difficult to come off of, but they made me gain so much weight. Do you all have any recommendations or alternatives?
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depression
|
I’ve had ‘HOCD’ since I was about 18, i’ve had OCD all my life, from the moment my mam gave me a phone when I was young and told me not to call 999 (the emergency services) and I had to wash the battery in the sink to stop myself from doing it, or obessing over it; I can’t even remember what age I was, I was so young.
I’ve experienced harm OCD, POCD, ROCD you name it but…
To make a long story short, I got my first job at 18 and my new manager kept saying ‘lol you are so gay’ and I was confident in the fact that I wasn’t up until this point. I spent sometimes full days googling stuff like ‘does this mean i’m gay’ ‘does this mean this’
I’m not here really seeking assurance, atleast I hope i’m not, for the first like 5 years of this affliction I led a straight life, girlfriend, lesbian porn etc.
But these last few months i’ve noticed my porn go to trans porn and finally to one perticular sub category of gay porn called frotting.
Now when I watch this stuff, it doesn’t feel like my usual nights alone, it feels alot more anxious, I tell myself when i’m looking at it ‘you don’t like this, you’re just checking’ obviously followed by ‘yes you do like it’
I just want to know. Am I so scared of being gay that i’m just pinning this on my OCD in a bid to just say ‘i’m straight its OCD’s fault’? Or is this part of my OCD?
I’ve never been sexually attracted to anyone but women, but these days my libido is just non existant and when I do think about masterbating my anxiety peaks and I think ‘you know what you’re gonna go watch and it ain’t straight shit’ and this just depresses me.
I’m not against being gay or bi really, but this feeling of ‘this just isn’t me’ ‘this doesn’t feel comfortable’ ‘this feels forced’ but at the same time i’d be lying if there wasn’t some arousal or perhaps again grasping at thin air here, false attraction?
It would really help if i knew someone who experienced something similar, or if I just knew what I liked. I always wanted to marry the women of my dreams and have kids etc. But if I have to accept a new version of myself then I atleast want to know thats what it is, rather than just blaming my OCD
Edit: i have seen 2 therapists in my life and have confirmed I have OCD
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OCD
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I wanna try to keep this sorta short. I’m a 25 year old female and strictly doing college right now. I haven’t been suicidal or had any of the red flag symptoms of depression, except sleeping in ridiculous amounts.
I feel like a walking zombie most weeks unless I get 12 hours of sleep. And sometimes that just makes the headaches not happen. The other 12 hours is spend int a sleepy daze.
Also, 12 hours has been an achievement. I’m being treat AS IF I have Rheumatoid arthritis with plaquenil. And now I can be up (not awake) for more than 6-8 hours.
For those that get fatigued, how often? How long do you sleep? How attentive are you when you’re awake?
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ptsd
|
Hello everyone,
I started taking adderall XR 20 mg in January and it has had transformative effects with the ADHD and depression. I am a med student and was basically about to be kicked out until I started and it has improved every aspect of my life and this year I'm doing way better in school.
This year I was working really hard and almost had too much energy to the point that I had to make sure I worked 8-10 hours minimum a day to have any shot of a good nights sleep (even before adderall I had limitless energy) and I even considered decreasing my dosage.
But a little over a month ago I broke my ankle and I had surgery for it during my first exam week. I'm a really active person so it was devastating but I didn't think about, just got ready for the exam. I worked harder than I ever have that week and ended up doing really well. After the exam I finally decompressed and completely relaxed but after a few days when I tried to get back to work I just kind of couldn't. And it's been 3 weeks now and all my intensity is gone, a month ago I was loving what I was doing and couldn't get enough, and now I have to force myself to do anything. I'm sort of drowsy all the time, but can stay up doing mindless stuff for hours. And I just can't seem to jumpstart myself back to where I was, which was the best time of my entire life even though I was working the entire time and broke my ankle. Before and now I obviously has to make myself work but before I could get into the zone and it was hard but fulfilling and now I’m just going through the motions which also makes it a lot harder to concentrate
It almost feels like my adderall has no effect at all, but it feels too coincidental to just be the meds not working. I've really made an effort to turn things around, I started taking better care of myself (sleep, diet, hygiene, etc), being more social, and I'm more active (still on crutches) but I'm still just foggy, all the intensity in my head is gone, like I'm empty.
If you have any ideas that could help me snap back into things I would really appreciate it or if this might just be depression from the surgery or something else. Thank you in advance for your help
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ADHD
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I’ve always been really averse to germs and getting dirty, and when I was a kid I would always wash my hands so much and try to keep my clothes and things as clean as possible all the time. Gradually I sort of grew out of that, but last year when Covid hit it really threw me out of whack again.
My contamination worries became so severe that I’d not only do the stereotypical hand washing a million times a day (for waaaay more than 20 seconds at a time), but I also began taking super long showers to the point where I’d be in there for over an hour, just constantly lathering and rinsing and washing my hands over & over again even in there.
My issue now is that I’ve been fully vaccinated, and I’m honestly greatly relieved and to tell the truth, it really has helped me reduce some of my compulsions as I’m not as worried about covid anymore. But I’m still struggling with lots of things, like sometimes I’ll make great progress and “only” take a 30 minute shower, or “only” take two minutes to wash my hands. But then other days I feel like I’m backsliding into my habits. I spent the majority of 2020 living in this terrible spiral of OCD, and it felt like my world got smaller every day. Now things are better & my world is getting bigger again, but I’m still carrying these habits with me and it’s really a big burden.
I’m sorry to write for so long, but I could really use some advice or tips to help break out of these habits. I tried talking with my therapist about this, but sadly he hasn’t been able to help me very much as I don’t think he fully understands what I’m experiencing. Thanks for taking your time to read this, I hope you all are doing okay and winning some battles against OCD.
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OCD
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So, my younger sister is 17 and was diagnosed about 5-6 months ago. She was referred to the adhd-center at a local psychiatric hospital, and the psychiatrist there prescribed her Medikinet (Methylphenidate).
At the beginning, she felt nothing and when they increased the dosage, she started getting headaches and feeling really tired and nauseous. She barely gets any positive effects. She is rather thin/slim but she eats properly and even started eating more when the psychistrist told her that it could help with the nausea (it didn't).
She has been on the medication for about 4 months now, and is at a point where she can actually study better without the meds because they make her feel so sick. She told the psychiatrist and asked if she could try different meds, but the psychiatrist said no, because all adhd meds are methylphenidate (adderal isn't available in our country) and therefore all work the same and have the same side effects. She works at an adhd center, so you'd think she knows stuff, but i've heard and read from so many people with adhd who said the exact opposite.
What are your opinios on that?/Did anyone have similar experiences and what did you do?
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ADHD
|
Hey y’all I have been struggling with PTSD for almost my whole life (21 btw) I had a very traumatic child birth, I was neglected and looked over because I wasn’t good enough, I felt like I had to be the responsible one in my family from the age of 6, I was whipped by a man who I looked up to like a father, I’ve been in and out of the ICU for years because my brain just shuts down whenever it wants (just dealing with so much pain it gives up), I haven’t been able to hold on to a relationship because i don’t trust anyone anymore, I was disowned by my extended family because I stuck up for myself when they doubted my trauma. I just need help and I’m going to a therapist but I don’t know if this’ll be the end of it. Is PTSD a lifetime battle or is there an end?
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ptsd
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Just wondering what everyone’s earliest OCD behaviours were and at what age? Mine was the typical ‘pick this up or your family is going to [insert terrible event]’ or having to pray for every family member in bed each night, probably around age 9.
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OCD
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Im back to self harm a having suicidal thoughts. I want to get better again but I feel so stuck. Please help.
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depression
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I’ve heard about this but been confused
If ur describing the size of something would you put ur hand up and show the size?
Or like if your describing a shot would you point to the place where you got the shot
Is it more of an adhd thing to use more hand signals and an Aspergers thing to use less
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aspergers
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Just an hour ago I walked up to my bathroom sink to do a partial handwashing to get some food off my hands, and I had an urge to reach over and touch the toilet so that I'd have to go through my whole hours-long handwashing torture. Why the fuck does this happen?
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OCD
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Is it an ADHD thing to have trouble with the names of things or is it just me? I know having trouble with street names is an ADHD thing. When I was younger I tried writing but kept stumbling because I couldn't describe the things in a picture even in the most mechanical sense. Oh uh what do you call the wooden walk thingy you walk on at a pier? Years later I learn it's called a boardwalk. Stuff like that.
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ADHD
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Hi you guys,
I feel like a complete pedophile today. I was watching a video about Japanese high schoolers and I noticed that one of the girls was cute. I kept replaying the scene of her over and over and over again, and no matter how many times I replayed it, my brain kept saying that she was still cute. I submit that I shouldn't be testing myself to see whether or not I'm a pedophile but I feel like the signs are showing. I even had a thought where I was her teacher and she'd be performing oral on me, even though it's wrong and immoral. I know that this is sort of textbook definition POCD but it's starting to grow more and more sinister that it's getting harder to accept the thoughts. I don't know what else to do, to be honest. I just feel like a total monster.
I'll keep trying to just accept them, regardless. It's the only way I can get better. I'm just having a really rough day today....
Thank you.
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OCD
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Like I strongly believe that that's one of if not the biggest role to play in why so many people commit suicide. It sounds like an extreme description but to me it's similar to not going for a wee, if you keep it in you're eventually going to end up making yourself feel really uncomfortable and sick, and it's very similar with bottling any emotions up that you believe are unacceptable to show around other people. That in itself will eventually leave you feeling weaker mentally/emotionally then if you just let the emotions out as soon as you feel yourself experiencing them
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depression
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Been experiencing IOCD for going on a month now longest any one of my obsessions has ever lasted its been ups and downs just as it gets better it gets worse OCD is poisoning my mind its like the very thought i despised has become me. I dont feel like myself. All i ever feel is anxiety, shame, hate and anger. People have been advising me on ow to beat this and while i thank them for their advice sometimes its easier said than done im still waiting on my so-called referral to therapy they said it would be 2 weeks its been a month im not trying to sound entitled but its hard not to get a little frustrated when my life is falling apart in-front of me and all I'm offered is "I'm sorry its taking so long we'll try get you seen as soon as possible" but i don't blame them as much as I am frustrated they are just doing their job
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OCD
|
Hi, I was finally diagnosed with adhd a few months ago and after so much deliberation with doctors and such I got prescribed concerta, and to my luck after like two weeks of waiting my insurance denied coverage.
So I made a call to my insurance to discuss alternatives and was told that some that didn’t need authorization was strattera, focalin, and quillivant.
I’ve heard bad things about strattera and it seems quillivant is more of a med prescribed to children, but I’m just curious what advice I could get from people who have been on any of these meds. I’m leaning towards focalin but I guess we will see. Please let me know your experiences with these meds! Thanks!
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ADHD
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Please suggest OCD books to manage my OCD. My theme is responsibility, hit & run OCD. OCD love to ask me questions like what if that happened, I can't recognize real from fake, I get a lot of intrusive images and clips. How to deal with uncertainty? How do you manage your anxiety? What to do when I do the exposure and then the anxiety comes, the what ifs, the intrusive images, thoughts and clips come? How to deal with if that happened or not? Is it my OCD or not? How to stop doing compulsions?
Also you can share articles, podcasts, Youtube channels, just everything that can help.
Thanks!
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OCD
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Anyone also struggling with "minor" obsessions? Like during some intervals despite being relatively free from health sexual religious relationship ocd, I tend to feel absolutely excruciating where anything that comes to my mind gives me that trying to push the thought, anxiety and panic feeling.it's like these are meta-obsessions, Like my dad uses the word "mind" and I become irritated cuz I become afraid I might be like the "insane" people in films where a word just triggers them and it is made known to the viewer and then when he says mind I and I am just fixated on it and I can lash out on him. Or they might think that I'm crazy etc.
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OCD
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lately i barely leave my bed or eat food and i feel very disappointed in myself for letting it get this bad. it’s like im watching myself waste away but i can’t even rly do anything about it. i rly want to better, but it’s so very hard to do simple tasks:(
my house is a disgusting mess rn cuz i haven’t cleaned it in a while and im not sure where to start.
it feels like ive dug myself a deep hole and i feel stuck and buried underneath, rotting away even more each day i awaken
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depression
|
First post so bear with me. I have been in multiple mass shooting scenarios, whether it was a shootout at a party or the Dallas protest that went terribly wrong. I was there. My car was actually hit with a bullet in that protest. I haven’t been in one in a couple years but I am always looking over my shoulder or just always prepared to exit the building I am in. It’s terrifying. Tonight I had a dream about my family & I being in a shootout situation. It ended positive Thank God but I am unable to fall back asleep now.
I don’t think it helps that my hobby is to read on Unsolved Mysteries. It is a hobby that I may have to stop reading on because I think it is triggering my anxiety.
Is there anyone that has been in a similar situation that can give me any tips on how to cope & deal with my version of PTSD?
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ptsd
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I’m so wildly anxious and just being hit in every direction I turn. Can anyone relate?
The smallest things trigger me and I lose time or panic.
Can’t sleep - bad dreams and I have extreme paranoia. I wake up mid panic attack with adrenaline pumping through my veins. I have prescribed benzos but I think I take too much so I hold off so I don’t get hooked. But I need sleep. Even if I’m ok, I still just wake up! Can’t win.
Take a bath to calm down? Triggered. I don’t have them, it’s too distressing. Can’t win.
Take a shower? Access to razors (I self injure in times of acute and chronic stress) but I have to wash. Can’t win.
Need extra therapy, the feeling of needing someone or needing help and asking for it brings on deep shame so I just don’t ask or say and suffer. Can’t win.
Need alone time, just to recharge. Just to breathe. I have children and responsibilities... can’t win.
Self employed, I’m falling behind because I have no motivation and CANNOT focus. Because I’m so tired. And so anxious. And falling behind makes me anxious. Can’t win.
If I wasn’t serious it’d be comical how screwed up I am right now. Just treading water through life! I’m trying to make to-do lists to make the days easier but I keep failing them too!
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ptsd
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Hey, anyone else notice a weird change in their sex drive? Like that underlying urge to do sexual things is there, but whenever I go to do the deed it's just kinda like 'meh' and the urge just kinda stops in its tracks right there. I'm closeted and trans, so I mostly did that stuff for the dopamine boost before starting meds. Is it maybe the case that I don't need that dopamine boost anymore, and that's what's causing the drop in sex drive? I'm not really bothered by it, just trying to get a better understanding as to what's going on in me noggin. Cheers!! :)
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ADHD
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I'm dissociating a lot. Flirting with danger. Tattooing myself because I really want to self harm. And when I admit to myself I'm mentally unwell I get upset.
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depression
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I have complex ptsd. One of the causes of my PTSD just got out of prison 11 months early due to covid-19. It's too soon. I started a new therapy in January. I started EMDR the first session was get to know each other. Second through fourth appointment was questions leading up to EMDR and describing the process to me. 5th appointment we began. 6th appointment was over the phone and since then it's been over zoom. The particular type of EMDR I'm doing uses two light up vibrating eggs I hold in each hand. It's not possible remotely. I was supposed to have a full year of this PTSD therapy before I had to deal with him being out of prison. I've been handling the pandemic relatively well. But I can't handle this. When things got too scary I could log onto DOC website and see his mugshot and see that he was safely locked away. Now, there is no way for me to know where he is or if he knows where I am. Logically he doesn't know where I am, but PTSD doesn't account for "logic" I went from slowly progressing and improving back to violent nightmares instantly. Since after that returning nightmare I haven't slept I jump at every sound. I'm more in prison than he ever was.
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ptsd
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22M. My dad passed last Christmas, he was my best friend and we did everything together, he was a huge part of my life and this is the first holiday season without him. Every time I see something in stores, or on tv about the holidays it makes me miss him more because I'm going to be alone. Does anyone have advice on how to cope?
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ptsd
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I don't think it's a compulsion because there's no "if you don't do that bad things will happen" kind of fear.
But I'm really afraid of laughing in inaproperate situations. It's because I always laugh when I'm unconfortable and this lead to an awfull situation where my friends were laughing at something awfull and they thought I laughed with them while I was telling them to stop because it was horrible..
From time to time whenever I have an "intrucive joke" or when I talk to someone about horrible things I have intrucive thoughts like "you have to smile right now!!" or "smile right now to be over with it". I always smile in these situations even though it makes me really unconfortable and realise secconds after that I didn't had to do that..
Is that an ocd thing or am I just dumb af?
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OCD
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It’s watching an anime on your tv and understand the perspective of every charter and wanting to understand them but before the episode is over you jump into some YouTube on your phone and next thing you know your kicked back trying to check out and listening to some music on Spotify. There is no rhyme or reason
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ADHD
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I don’t want to encourage or “make cool” any bad habits, but I’ve had aspie friends who are the same way and I see this a lot. I love coffee and cigarettes. Does anyone gravitate towards caffeine too? Maybe this goes hand in hand with “intellectuals” loving coffee and cigarettes because the stimulation it gives is right in line with an active mind? I’d be curious to know what you all think.
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aspergers
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I'm not officially diagnosed with Aspergers, but I've always felt like I have it. My whole life, I've put it down to the Social Anxiety, and I've never fitted in. No matter how much I try to be "normal", I've been told that I don't fit into workplaces, and I don't have any friends anymore. My life basically consists of making beats (I'm a Lo-Fi Hip-Hop Producer), and being at home with my dogs, if I'm not working. Apart from working at a pub for two and a half years, I've never been able to hold onto a job for more than two months. I'm only 22, so I know time is on my side, but it doesn't feel like that at all. I've been told that I'm normal, yet "wired differently". How does that make any sense? This post isn't about me trying to get a diagnosis by posting this. I just want to know that I'm not alone, and there's other people in this forum, that are just like me.
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aspergers
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i think this stems from my social anxiety, i hate the uncertainty of not knowing what people think of me or where I stand with them. If someone deletes me on socials or something similar i come up with all kinds of conspiracies about myself of why they did. I’m scared of people having the wrong impression of me and what they say behind my back so i reassurance seek to others about it. DAE struggle with something similar or have advice?
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OCD
|
Barring a Norman Bates-level blackout, do you think it’s possible to accidentally hit a pedestrian and not notice at all? High-speed, low-speed, u turn, right turn, left turn, anything.
I think general consensus on this question would help a lot of us who have driving anxiety. Thanks.
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OCD
|
In the past few years, I've been trying to fully conceptualize psychological resilience. I haven't found a coherent definition yet, but here's a small expressive write-up of what this journey of searching for its meaning has been like for me: [https://medium.com/@rose.mejia1998/the-felt-sense-of-psychological-resilience-51d78c8774ec?sk=13d81afa75a2c98f720a9e6087ca2854](https://medium.com/@rose.mejia1998/the-felt-sense-of-psychological-resilience-51d78c8774ec?sk=13d81afa75a2c98f720a9e6087ca2854)
​
I hope some of you resonate :)
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ptsd
|
Yea im disappointed. I didn't get the job I had posted about applying for. The thing that gets me is they declined me on paper without even bringing me in to see me or talk to me in person. This job has to do with gathering overdose data and doing other things with opioid and opioid overdose. This is my special interest. I had a doc friend type a letter up for my request for reconsideration.
The disappointment is real. I tried serveral times to contact them and let them know my passion for this before hand. Does anyone have any advice? Any thoughts on this? Im just really bummed.
I almost think the job was set up for a higher up's retaliative or loved ones. That is my paranoid thinking partly, but you never know. Thanks to whoever reads this. Thanks to who replies.
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aspergers
|
Usually I spend all day wanting to die,
but I just feel completely nothing now. I don't want to do anything, I can't converse with anyone, I can't leave my bed. There is absolutely nothing I wish I was doing right now either.. just laying here at peace doing nothing at all.
I've got nothing to do (I never do anything idk how I pass the day - Tiktok??), and I don't think this feeling is going to end anytime soon...
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depression
|
i’ve caught myself doing this a few times and i don’t know why! the feeling following getting triggered is something i work hard to stay away from but sometimes when i’m not doing my best i find myself doing it to myself. sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, just wanted to know if anyone can relate or if this is a shared experience.
(also- i’m new to this reddit or subreddit ((im not sure what they’re actually called)) and wasn’t sure what to post flair this as so i’m sorry if i labeled it wrong!)
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ptsd
|
Finally seeking professional help for my depression and anxiety unfortunately the first call to the GP went badly I said I was calling about my D&A and then asked to tell him about it and I didn’t know where to start what to say and I froze, broke down and had a panic attack my mother took the phone and arranged face to face for in 2 hours so not a good start.
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depression
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So short background. Have had mental health issues since I was a young lad. PTSD, you name it. Meds have not work, and I have tried at least 20 different ones. Talk Therapy has helped with coping mechanisms, but only works short term.
So, in my search for help I came across TMS therapy. The idea seems logical. my insurance will most likely cover it. But has anyone heard or experienced it? Did it work? Side effects? I am at my wits end on this stuff. Thank you for any response. I may copy this to other mental health subs as well.
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depression
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I've been dealing with severe ocd for a year now and only started getting treated about a month ago. My main struggles are POCD, harm OCD, and HOCD. I am terrified of acting out on an OCD thought or impulse, so I lock myself in my room to prevent being able to harm someone. I'm on prozac and although I feel less anxiety, the thoughts are still scary and I honestly feel worse cause I get less anxierty from the thoughts. I really need help because I can barely leave my room to grab food from downstairs and I cant go outside anymore without severe panic attacks. Also, I am dealing with false memories which terrify me.
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OCD
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I was diagnosed in my home country with ADHD and Anxiety. My psychiatrist, once I moved, wasn't willing to write up a small email explaining my conditions, that way I would of been able to share it with my new psychologist and a new psychiatrist in the US. I explained this to my PCP and she prescribed me with Vyvanse once I told her my horrible experience on ritalin/that's the only stimulant in my home country. The PCP asked me various questions and I also explained to her that when I'd take the Ritalin I would suddenly feel the world quiet down and I could actually do 1 thing at a time. I also mentioned that the effects after the medication wore off, I'd be way too irritable etc.
Should I still try and get diagnosed again with a psychiatrist? I mentioned this to my new psychologist and she's wanting to have more sessions with me before I do. I've been seeing her for 2-3 months now, once a week. The reason for this is because she says some symptoms are also present with CPTSD. My new psychologist, for now, has 'diagnosed' me with OCD, CPTSD and anxiety.
I am very conflicted and stressed.
TLDR: Should I still go and get re-diagnosed at a psychiatrist? Even though I have a prescription for Vyvanse.
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ADHD
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Hi!
I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts the last 4 months and it has been pretty awful. It all started when I got insight of my masturbation habits. As i teenager I started exploring my sexuality and I ended up liking a few REALLY weird fetishes, but i didn't see anything wrong with it. It was all fantasies, nothing that could happen in real life but a bit strange and gross. 4 months ago i realised how weird and strange it was and got a panic attack, like a punch in the gut. After that I started to get intrusive thoughts, which has been all kinda crazy thoughts about my self. For example I have had intrusive thoughts about pedophilia, cannibalism, going grazy, murder, suicide, rape, cheating, hurting others, sexual harrasment and much more.
That inturn caused a lot of anxiety, like if I was actually going crazy or if I could keep on going with my studies of becoming a teacher. It went so far that i thought i had lost my right to live because of all these horrible thoughts, since it revolved around my worst nightmares. But i have kept going on, met a therapist, looked up all sorts of treatments online, talked to both my partner and my mom. If i compare myself to what it was the first days, then i think i have gotten a lot better, but still a way to go before i'm completely okay.
Now i have realised it was my empathy that caused all the grief, sadness and anxiety from these thoughts, and that is all the reasurrance i need. I care so deeply for others, that these thoughts hurt me, and that is a part of having intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts has for me been being the monster in my worst nightmares, and it has been the worst experience in my life.
Today i feel better, and usually form these thoughts into paintings, try to support myself as my best friend would and try not to overanalyze the thoughts I get. What caused all these thoughts to trigger was the fact that i suddenly became disgusted by myself. The start of all this was that i suddenly felt shame and guilt over my porn habits, and specially what kind of porn it was, which I have realised. Now i can't change the past, and that is a part of why i get anxiety, it feels like i have ruined myself and become a disgusting person, even though i barely have changed at all. Now I have stopped consuming porn (since it only caused disgust) and the few times i have been trying to relief myself has been without porn, which has made it a bit better. Today i don't feel so disgust by myself, I have realised that the fetishes I liked when I was younger doesn't hurt anyone and is just a little mistake i did. I'm not trying to kinkshame, only accept myself for who I was and then move on.
I still feel the anxiety when i wake up because of these thoughts and my prior habits, but it as become a lot better. The pain over my chest and the feeling of almost being suffocated still haunts me, but I have had many days where these negative thoughts, feelings and trying to find reasurrance barely affect me. Writing down my thoughts, painting pictures with them in my head, noting how bad I feel because of the thoughts, are examples of strategies I use. Today I'm just trying to eliminate the shame and guilt i feel, and continue with my otherwise happy life.
I just wanted to share a story (English is not my first language BTW) about how i started my journey battling intrusive thoughts and give everyone here som hope of that it will get better, and that last of all:
You are not your thoughts.
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OCD
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I’m not sure if this is common with anyone else but it’s as if I can never go one day without obsessing over one health related topic. If it’s not one thing it’s another.
Last night whilst eating I got some bad pain in my tongue. I looked and noticed a rather large red/ purple looking swelling ulcer and instantly knew this would start up my anxiety.
Logically I know it’s probably trauma from biting down on a piece of my skin. But my ocd won’t let me accept that. I spend hours looking online, searching for endless possibilities of what it could be, reading things like mouth cancers or oral STD’s
I Get myself in such a panic and genuinely wish the time away to make sure it heals.
I always think worst case scenario and convince myself I’m gonna have to go to the dentist ( which I hate) and maybe get it removed.
I just get myself so worked up. Any advice on how to cope would be brilliant.
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OCD
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Medications are not a magic bullet to fix attention problems or ADHD. They can help but they are not a cure all. I see many posts of people wanting meds without a diagnosis. It is important to go through the diagnosis process. There are many other conditions that can have similar symptoms as ADHD and need to be treated differently. During the process they may rule out auditory processing disorders, depression, bipolar, anxiety, ocd etc or they may find co-morbidities. This may change the way treatment goes. Often people also need to try multiple meds before finding one that works. Also if you are dealing with depression, the depression meds often take at least a month before you see any affect. I also encourage people to seek additional treatments like CBT. This can be extremely helpful and make your overall treatment more successful. I know all this can be expensive but treating the wrong thing can make symptoms worse, or have other affects on your health. The health professionals you are working with should know everything you are taking, including herbal supplements and vitamins, as these can affect absorption and affectiveness of meds. Please do not seek meds unless you have been diagnosed and are working with a health professional.
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ADHD
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Hi! I have just started meds to treat ADHD. I’m 37f trying meds for the first time since all else has failed. Psych started me on 30mg. So, I get about 5 solid hours of heaven - focus, memory, I can make decisions, I can plan and prioritize, I’m efficient and Uber productive and I want to take care of things. By about hour 6 I’m feeling tired and getting distracted again, forgetting easily etc. I don’t feel energy during those 5 hours I just can focus and get stuff done so this isn’t an oooh energy vs no energy thing - I literally wanna take a nap tired is what happens. I’m on day 3. Avoiding caffeine and sleep 7/8 hours a night. Is this typical? Will it get better?
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ADHD
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Kinda didn't realize that Intensive Outpatient may not even have OCD specialization, meaning I could end up wasting time (and potentially money) trying an Intensive Outpatient thing, even though every provider I've worked with recently has suggested that.
Meanwhile, thanks to the recent bullshit my OCD has been pulling, I'm more aware than ever that the OCD itself is absolutely at the crux of almost every problem I've ever had in my entire life (that's just barely an exaggeration).
So I'm wondering if finding a proper OCD specialist, even one I'd have to pay out-of-pocket for, would be smarter.
I've failed out of exposure therapy twice in the past. The first time, I don't know what happened, it's arguable that religious trauma complicates exposure therapy too much for it to work. The second time, it was a very rigid program that I had trouble understanding and I quit halfway through because I lost trust in the therapist.
Since my OCD is primarily about non-religious shit lately, I'm wondering if I should give exposure therapy one last shot.
Or if I should just go into IOP, which... I can't imagine what kind of benefit it could provide if they aren't experienced with treating OCD.
I don't know what to do. I have no idea what to do anymore.
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OCD
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Growing up I was never diagnosed/never self diagnosed my mental health, but there were areas I was fishy about, as a young adult I ran away from the world and life so I never had to fully experiance my problems, I smoked and that helped, then my world came crashing down and I realised there were some problems, but they scared me and I didnt want to be schizophrenic or anything. A few years ago I remember thinking I had it figured out, I was OCD, and if I could just learn to manage that by not being obsessive my symptoms would improve, however now after a bad few weeks with my symptoms I feel like this is what I am suffering from. " **Repetitive, permanent inner narrative, with multiple layers?** " is the post that made me realise this. all the stories below that post are the same as me, does anyone have any advice? Should I seek a therapist, they have all been shit in the past.
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ADHD
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Why am I so unsocially skilled. People talk about how they peaked in highschool, or after or whatever, but I peaked in elementary school and it's steep slope downwards since. I had a terrible freshman year of highschool, with abysmal grades and literally no social life-i feel so "inhibited" if thats the right word. i can never understand whats going on in coversations and what to say, and i feel like opportunities are slipping through my fingers constantly. wierdly enough, at times i am suddenly the life of the party and are well liked but those are just very short blips that are occurring less and less. i feel like my brain is broken and that it is on autopilot 95% of the time.
I started taking 30 mg of ritalin extended release last summer, and got a 98 in my summer school class. still no social skills.
Currently, at the end of the first semester of my sophomore year, i have a 3.7 gpa, but still no social life. i see all these charming people and want to talk to them but for some reason i just can't, like theres an invisible brick wall in my mind.
I'm getting so sick of myself. My brain feels like a torture chamber and i feel like an antisocial zombie.
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ADHD
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Ironborn
Posted just now
Good day everyone, I hope you can or want to listen to my story / question with some understanding.
The thing is, I'm having a pretty severe revival of my OCD.
This is about covid.
I have not had a vaccine yet due to personal considerations. Now it is true that on October 12 I got mild throat complaints while I was at work, I thought nothing of this. The next day the complaints were so much more that I had myself tested in the morning and it was therefore positive.
Now I worked with a colleague at the office the day before, and I immediately informed this colleague the next day after my positive test. For the convenience of this story, let's just call this colleague 'A' for a moment.
I then stayed at home for 2 weeks to sick it out.
About 2 weeks later we had a covid outbreak at another location 30 minutes drive from where I had been in the office with Person A on October 12th. This corona outbreak has infected a number of people, one of whom unfortunately died on November 26, this man was 66 years old, and had not had himself vaccinated due to his own considerations. Let's call this person person "B" for convenience.
I didn't see or talk to this person B the day I got symptoms, or the days before. However, person A who has been in a room with me on October 12 is occasionally in contact with person B.
So now I have the idea that I made person B sick and that makes me a murderer. Person B can of course also have contracted the virus in his own private environment or via another route.
Now there is also another person in this story and that is a direct colleague of person B. For the sake of convenience I will call this person person 'C'. These 2 people sit together in the office every day in one room.
Both people have chosen not to be vaccinated.
Person C appeared to be walking around the workplace with a snot nose in the week of October 25 without being tested or the like. However, on November 1, person B and person C plus a number of other colleagues there had themselves tested on location and they were all positive.
Person B became ill on 1 November, ended up in IC a week later and eventually died on 26 November.
I am now constantly figuring out whether my infection on October 12 may have ended up with person B. I don't estimate the probability that high because on that one day (October 12) I was working in a completely different location. When I discovered the virus, I immediately called colleague A the next day, and he would keep an eye on whether he was suffering from anything, but he later indicated that he had not noticed anything, and that he had not been ill.
What is the chance that I have infected person A. He brought the virus to the other location without symptoms and infected person B, person C, or someone else there, which ultimately led to the death of person B?
By the way, I am now convinced that as soon as my recovery certificate expires next October, I will just take the vaccine. I just can't live with my OCD which constantly drives me crazy that I'm a potential killer.
I hope for some understanding in my story. Even though I am not vaccinated, I am always very careful when dealing with others. I have had myself tested up to 5 times as much over the past 2 years than the average person in my environment, and I also regularly perform self-tests.
Anyone have any idea how I can deal with this?
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OCD
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And often it's annoying when people don't know what I'm specific for and assume things although to be fair they don't know what's inside my head. For example I feel nostalgic for some years and some people would say stuff like "so what movies and songs from that year do you like and what major events happened?" No, that's not what makes a year good for me, rather it was the specific things I did myself such as a trip somewhere, friends I had etc though movies that came out can still play a role.
Or how for years I've enjoyed Ancient Egypt. Some might say "so you want to be the next Howard Carter?" No, I would be just as suited to being the next Howard Carter as someone who plays cod is suited to joining the army.
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aspergers
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Anyone else constantly sleepy but also sleeping too much with depression, any coping techniques? I’ve had MDD for nearly too years but I’m sleeping even more and feeling more tired, I’m even missing lectures now. Also hella weak too.
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depression
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How many people here enjoy writing stories? If so, what sorts of themes and messages do your stories have? Do you think your Aspergers influences your writing?
I'll go first. I find myself writing a lot of stories about people who spend lots of time alone in hostile environments. These people undergo a psychological transformation during this experience, either going a bit mad, discovering something amazing, becoming tough-willed, or all three.
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aspergers
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Hello, poorly developed frontal lobes.
Disclaimer: I am not looking for medical advice, I just want to know what is your personal, subjective experience on the subject.
I've been wondering what is the effect of ADHD meds on exercise. I have a pretty sedentary lifestyle myself, specially during the pandemic, so I have no experience on the subject.
Stimulant medication often raises the resting heart rate. The thing is, this happens when there is no increased load on the heart.
During exercise, the heart rate is also raised, but for different reasons and it goes back to normal after exercise stops.
What happens when you have a raised resting heart rate due to medication, and then start intense cardio exercise? Do you feel like your HR under load is even faster? Is this unhealthy?
I want to get healthy and start exercising, but I'm waiting for my next appointment so I can discuss this with the doctor.
Meanwhile I thought I should ask the more athletic members of /r/adhd how medication has affected your exercise habits.
TL;DR: Meds can make heart go faster. How does that affect exercising?
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ADHD
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Existing just feels like a chore.
I have zero motivation to do most anything anymore, including getting out of bed most days. I haven’t tried writing everything down in a while so I guess I’ll just start airing out all my shit and hopefully I feel some kind of satisfaction. But now I’ve been staring at this post for 4 hours, I’m on a fucking throwaway on an anonymous forum created to post this kind of shit and I still can’t hype myself up to post it. Congrats to me if you can see this I guess.
I’m just completely exhausted and burnt out, tired all day but wide awake anytime past sunset, on really bad nights I will lay in bed unable to stop thinking and crying about everything until the sun comes up. I’ve done multiple sleep schedule rotations. Everyday is starting to blur together because of it, I haven’t been able to keep track of things easily. Its getting harder and harder to socialize with people. My thoughts move so fast I can’t speak properly anymore, I stumble over my words on a constant basis and I have trouble trying to get my point across because I lose track of what I’m saying. I’ve just saved myself the hassle of trying and have just been using the one word answer approach for the most part.
I’ve stopped brushing my teeth regularly, showering regularly, and shaving regularly. I don’t really get hungry often, but when i do it’s difficult to keep food down. I haven’t gotten a haircut since my mom peeled me out of bed for errands a month or two ago. I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I suppose it’s not uncommon for people to have not gone out and about for the past few years but it still feels especially heavy on me, since this is how I’ve been living even pre-pandemic.
I find no joy in most of the things I used to like. My gaming pc burnt out the other week but even before it broke I just spent most of my time bankstanding on runescape or scrolling around YouTube because I can’t really think of anything better to do.
I’m doing online classes solely to make my dad happy, every time I open the class I try to buckle down and do something but I am completely disinterested and blow it off, which is making my grades plummet. I already failed out of university, this is a community college that I’m at now and I just can’t do it. I despise school and I feel like it’s just ruined me, higher learning is a massive scam but I’m being conned into doing it anyway because I need to be a full time student in order to get health insurance benefits.
My friends seem uneasy around me now, I only have 4 friends that I see regularly now, over the past 4 years I’ve seen the number of people I consider in my circle get lower and lower and it really sucks seeing people who you thought were homies dump you to the curb. It’s most likely the fact I made no effort to reach out or anything and just let most of them drift away.
I completely lock up and shut down when I’m around my parents, there’s some days where I can talk normally but most days I just feel either extremely irritable at speaking or too fatigued to answer, both options end up shutting them out of conversation with me or being as robotic as I can to try and not work myself up too much.
My dad has been constantly checking on me and I feel like it’s because he’s worried I’ve committed suicide. I feel terrible because he’s admitted to me he’s lost sleep over seeing me so defeated. I’m sure my mom feels the same way, she asks about how I’m feeling constantly and I usually have to shrug her off because I don’t think either of them have a grasp on how to deal with me. I hate the burden I’m putting on and it’s taking a toll on the both of them. I can definitely see a difference when my siblings come home vs when I’m here alone.
I have a nicely set up support system and I’m just straight up rejecting it for no concrete reason. At the same time it’s extremely embarrassing and I don’t want to publicly admit to everyone that I am extremely depressed because I don’t think they will handle it properly and I will end up worse off in the end.
My girlfriend moved away to work for an entire year so I have been trying to work long distance with her but it is really taxing. A 6 hour time zone difference plus the fact she is working with kids all day means it’s usually around 11:30 or 12 at night for me when I even get speak to her. On top of this, recently she’s been doing a bunch of things that really really irrationally annoy me, which I know is not good foresight for the future. This is making me extremely upset because before she left I was set to marry, now she’s doing things completely out of character and does not seem like the same person at all. She’s only been gone for 3 months. I’ve tried to tell her that I feel upset without her and I don’t really want to do anything until she gets back, she replied that what I’m saying makes her really sad that she decided to move and leave me high and dry so now I feel guilty. I haven’t spoken with her about how I’m feeling for the past month because of it. It’s really hard to talk to her like a normal person anymore because I’m stepping on eggshells trying to avoid making her worry over me. She seems extremely happy there and I really don’t want to be a mood killer because I insisted she go since it’s her dream to live there, and probably won’t get the opportunity again.
I can literally see people are starting to write me off. My cousin’s wedding was a bed of hot coals for me, I had to keep (unsuccessfully) explaining what I’m planning on doing in the near future, only to receive a patronizing “wow man that sounds great, keep it up”, then have them 180 over to my siblings and being really excited when hearing what’s going on with them. I don’t mind being the black sheep, it’s just hard when you recognize that everyone is starting to lose faith.
I’m constantly being haunted by everything I did wrong in life and I’m completely unable to distract myself from it anymore. I zone out of conversation or work often and I’ve recently noticed my TTM is flaring up again while I’m not paying attention.
I just want someone to tell me what I’m suffering from, I’ve been to therapy 3 times now and none of them are “capable of diagnosis”, which yeah I get they can’t legally do without a doctorate, but I just want something in the ballpark I can try and work with.
It seems like some devastating event is about to happen to me and I’ve been preemptively bracing myself for months for something that might not even happen. But as soon as I let my guard down I know something bad will happen.
I’m so tired of disappointing everyone important in my life and not having any sort of desire to do anything to solve it. I shouldn’t feel like this all the time, I’ve had a thankfully relatively privileged upbringing and I constantly question the validity of why I’m depressed. There shouldn’t be any logical reason I’m getting shit on by my own brain because everything was set up for me and if I just calmed down for 10 seconds I wouldn’t have crashed and burned so hard. I have no desire to die or kill myself at all, I just want to be “wonderful lifed” and no one will have to worry about it. I feel like I’m sabotaging myself and I can’t do anything to stop it.
Fuck this. I would never wish this feeling on another human being. It’s completely and utterly soul crushing.
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depression
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I have a problem where I mess up online bookings like all the time, particularly travel bookings. Like just now, I’m planning a trip to a new city, and booked a bike tour for the wrong week. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. Is this an aspie thing, or am I just incompetent?
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aspergers
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I had this strange OCD of leaving hedlights on after shutting down the car. I had an ocd of leaving also radio that would drain my car's battery and it wouldnt start the next day. Also I had the problems with parking, afraid that I accidentally hit a car. Also i used to check like million times if the car was in parking mode that it wouldnt drive off down the hill and hit another car. This debilitating ocd would eat couplr of hours as I eventually stopped driving because of this. Anyone experienced this ocd?
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OCD
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Is it a reasonable thing if constitution includes 'job limitation' for aspergers or adhd?
I am considering constitutional complaint(review)
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aspergers
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So I was diagnosed with OCD earlier this year. About 7 years ago I had a bad panic attack after something I thought was no big deal, but the next morning I woke up in sheer terror. Heart pounding, felt like nothing I have ever experienced, couldnt focus or anything. I was crying, unable to sleep, calling my mom for reassurance, a couple of select friends. It was god awful, but I didnt know OCD was a thing, I thought I was just crazy. This lasted for a couple if years, with a couple small incidents I shot down real quick so no problem.
I couldnt remember the last time it messed with me, until after the freeze of this year, I was sitting st my computer and this anxiety just came over me, it was so bad I had to step outside to breath. From that point forward, I havent been myself. I was riddled with anxiety, didnt want to work or eat or anything else. Just lay in bed and browse Quora because that was all I could stand to do.
I dont joke anymore, I don't have my wit I used to or anything else. Movies or youtube videos I liked dont do it for me anymore, when I'm at work I know I'm not the person people have come to know. I don't have my spark anymore guys, and that bothers me. I was on the verge or starting a new business before all this happened, now I dont want to do that, in a way because I feel like I'll give in to my fear if I do, and because I just cant bring myself to go out and do it. That's not me.
Now the anxiety is gone, not entirely but it's down to very minute levels. I'm still doing compulsions but they are weak. The intrusive thoughts are still there, and I just want my anxiety back.
I've lurked here for a while and finally wanted to post because I just felt like I needed to.
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OCD
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I don’t know who or what I am anymore. Most days I feel more like I’m just a walking body - empty and incapable of feeling. A zombie even, but instead of eating other peoples brains… I’m eating away at my own — slowly but surely.
There was a time when I could induce my sadness. I would spend night after night, forcing it upon myself. Because I knew it was a feeling I could always count on to show up. And it became an unhealthy source of comfort.
But life has appeared to have stolen even that from me. I barely feeling anything when I try my old methods. The sad songs or audio clips, looking at triggering pictures, etc. Nothing does the trick. Maybe the tiniest pang to my heart… or sinking feeling in my stomach. But I can’t cry. I can’t lose myself and let it all out.
Perhaps I’m so sad and depressed that I feel nothing else. Maybe I’m so used to it, that my brain just thinks I’m numb and not feelings things. But in reality, it’s all just consumed by too much sadness — so there’s no room for anything else. And all attempts fail, because they aren’t strong enough to penetrate what’s already there.
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depression
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It makes so much sense now, I wished I just have been diagnosed earlier so I wouldn’t have to have suffered as much as I did in school, parents don’t get their kids and they blame it on laziness or the fact I’m just spoiled or a “bad” kid. I had a lot of learning difficultly in school had problems with school, I couldn’t work in large environments, my parents legit put me in an extremely tough class which I failed, kept getting scolded and right before my 18th birthday I been diagnosed with Aspergers. My childhoods been a hell but maybe with this new acknowledgement I can start a new life. I think the main reason a diagnosis took so long for me was because my mother constantly lied to my doctors refusing to acknowledge the problem, it feels extremely neglecting and hard that even after my diagnosis she told my doctor it was all bull shit.... though my dad seems more understanding I guess.
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aspergers
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I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD so I'm not sure if I have it. But here's my situation:
When I was younger, my parents were both physically and emotionally abusive towards my sister and I. I have never been all that close to my parents because since I was born I was left in my grandparents care. A couple of years after, my sister ran away from home and I wasn't expecting it all. I didn't notice it at the time but after she ran away, I stopped smiling, stopped doing the things I liked, I became quiet and reserved and just in general lost my support system. I was also being bullied throughout all of primary school so I'm not sure if that affected much.
So as I moved into secondary school my parents stopped physically abusing me but there was still emotional abuse. My mum wasn't as horrible but my dad would say awful things to me everyday and I still didn't understand why. After that, I went to a therapist and talked my feelings out. I didn't feel at rest even after talking about the situation many times. I then went to a pastoral officer in my school who would talk to my parents for me, this ended up being a mistake. My parents were obviously angry at me and gaslighted me but they became nicer in a way? It's been about a year since this has occurred and I still feel an odd type of resentment towards my parents. I don't want to dislike my parents but I dont think I can ever have a good relationship with them, I may have an occasional good moment with them however it's usually hard to talk to them and try to spend time with them.
If anyone has anything to say I appreciate it a lot!
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ptsd
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I kinda have mixed emotions about it.
I see a lot of people being really mean about people who "trauma dump" and vent and basically saying they want that victim validation or how ever you would call it and on the one hand I agree to an extent. But I also feel like there's a better way to say that? And I also feel like that's not the case in a lot of respects.
But also like, some of those people are the same people that go on to say stuff like "why didn't you reach out to me?" When someone close to them is feeling down and it's uncomfortable. Because you already know their stance on that. I dunno I'm probs not explaining this well but it's something I've been thinking about.
I usually only talk about my baggage to people I trust or when it's relevant and I guess I'm kinda worried they see me like that and that maybe I should start pulling inwards again. I dunno, just stuff I've been rolling around in my head.
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ptsd
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Obviously therapist diagnosis is important, but I've heard plenty of stories of getting different diagnoses from different sources.
I've just started therapy and my therapist thinks I have anxiety and not OCD because I don't have a lot of compulsions, but I'm not sure if I accept this.
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OCD
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I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. But this feeling had been stuck forever. I feel like nothing. I feel empty. I don’t get what life is. I am constantly working to pay the bills, and I constantly worry about the future. And I feel this will last forever. And it’s making me very sad. I am just going to live with sadness, emptiness and loneliness. What’s point of living if I’m constant feeling like this? I have friends, I have family, I go on vacations but I still feel so sad during those fun times. I went for help and I’m on meds but I still feel like nothin. I sometimes ask myself when does my happiness come? When can I stop feeling like this? I am so grateful I have people I love around me, have a great job, have a great life but I am just feeling so empty all the time. Like something is missing, or something is wrong. The feeling I’ve had for so long will prob never go away. I try to think positive everyday and I try so hard to see the meaning of life. I hate this feeling, feeling empty, feeling something is missing, feeling something isn’t right, feel worried all the time for no reason. I hope one day I can overcome these feelings but I have no faith. I don’t know.
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depression
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Sometimes I enjoy going to the park and people watching. When I do this, I say to myself, "She looks like she would smell like mayonnaise."
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aspergers
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Hi everyone,
Saw a Jordan Peterson video a couple months ago and can't get these questions out of my head, due to the fact my life is basically in shambles (and upon reflection, has been for quite some time).
The questions are below:
1. Do you have a job? *I currently work part-time (kinda sorta not really) for an online jewelry company. I also am trying to get part-time work at a local supermarket and convenience store. In practical terms, I'm basically unemployed. I've also never really held a "career"-type job aligned with my education/professional background for more than 6 months.*
2. Do you have any friends? *I have 1 college friend who I'm barely ever in touch with. I have professional acquaintances/friends from a city I used to live in and I'm barely in touch with them as well. In reality, I'm basically by myself and friendless day in day out.*
3. Do you have an intimate relationship? *No. I don't really have any real sustainable romantic or sexual desire anymore.*
4. Do you have a health problem? *No, but I barely ever exercise.*
5. Do you have a drug/alcohol problem? *No, but I have an addictive relationship with the Internet and I lie and procrastinate constantly.*
Peterson remarks that if you have 3/5 problems associated with these questions, "it's almost impossible to help you". Based on my answers, I think I'm checking off 3+ problems, which has me really despondent and concerned. I'm currently 29, my family is having extreme problems with me under their roof due to my irresponsibility/general behavior, I may go homeless or into a homeless shelter soon, my circadian rhythms are all over the place, I'm thousands of dollars in debt, am basically inconsistent in almost everything I do, and keep descending into increasingly self-destructive and dysfunctional behavior. I should also note that a lot of what I'm referencing has been present and gotten increasingly worse over the past 3-8 years.
I'm aiming to try to serve in the military, as that may give me structure and a way out, but beyond that, I generally am starting to feel increasingly hopeless about my place in the world/my life going forward. My folks call it my "slow decline". My thoughts of where this goes long term have become increasingly dark. I seem to be drowning in chaos/lack of structure/bad choices, have increasing difficulty controlling my emotions, feel like I'm living in psychological hell, and it's hard for me to see a way out of this predicament.
Am I beyond help? What should I do going forward?
Apologies, but I feel really lost and would appreciate any advice anyone can give.
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depression
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i recently was prescribed an SSRI escitalopram and was advised i may feel 'under the weather' for the first 2 weeks or so.
it has been 4 days and holy fuck, i cant continue with this medication. ive had a severely low mood, incredibly tired, headachey, nauseous, shakey... pretty much every symptom under the sun.
this was my first time trying an anti-depressant and im pretty bummed its had such an adverse effect.
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depression
|
Whenever I think about sharing or providing happiness to those who are close to me, there is this feeling that me sharing part of my happiness or providing happiness from myself to people I care so much about will lead in the end to reach the bottom of my happiness and I'll be drawn in deep sadness. I'll be feel less not feeling anything that's the great danger of providing and sharing so much happiness and that I can't hold myself together anymore. From day to day I take my closet people sadness and give them part of my happiness and in the end I'll just be empty. This thought always hunt me day and night, at first it looks so dark like there no way back from it "one way ticket" but looking at from far away
Give me more happiness than I had before
Seeing my closet friend and my family smile, happy and in great condition, blows up the sources of happiness inside me that's the side I want to stay in. In the other side, the side that's darker than the space itself, the view from there looks like I've been Extracted from all of my feelings only one feeling remain which is sadness. Staying sad keep me safe from exciting events that might or might not happen in life. And by staying in it for long time it'll start to effect the people around me. So the balance between sadness and happiness is only one thin line that can be cut with just one tear or one deep feeling" a feeling that been buried long time ago.
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depression
|
Hey all! Curious how many of you have been diagnosed with ADHD and the role you believe that has played in wanting to avoid alcohol? I know I’ve used it as an escape mechanism in the past and notice that the next say my ADHD and feelings of anxiety/edginess are way worse after a night of drinking. Also-do you take any prescriptions for ADHD? Any information would be super helpful- newly diagnosed (previous thought OCD but it never fit right) and had 7 months no alcohol then have been having a beer here and there and don’t think it fits me anymore. Thanks all!
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ADHD
|
Each day I feel more of myself just slipping away; every hobby that I used to have is too much effort, and I look around at my climbing shoes and my oil paints and think "wow, i should really start again." but that's as far as it gets, just a lingering desire as i stay in my bed.
Every relationship I have is a mess; romantically, I have a lovely and tender partner who is so caring and kind, unlike anyone I've ever dated before but now I don't want it. I don't deserve to have him and be dragging him down with me, so I flake out of plans, panic and post these fuckinf awful things seeking to get demeaned by strangers. I never talk to my parents, and I blocked my eldest sister because just being around her makes me feel so awful all the time- I resent her so much, but its not her fault, I shouldn't feel that way to her, but I can't help it. She makes me feel so awful by just being close, or messaging or just seeing her. I'm just brimming with this resentment, and I wish it was gone; but it doesn't. My friends are all getting tired of me because I'm just not there anymore, I don't reply in group chats and I don't go out, one came to my apartment to check on me and I told her to fuck off. we haven't spoken since.
I'm just so awful all the time, I'm not passable as a person because I have no passions, I have no motivation or personality. I'm just a dumb animal that doesn't want to live. I barely leave my bedroom anymore, I just want to rot away in here.
Everything is too much effort.
I keep thinking about if I could see myself now, when I was 17; I'd tell her to kill herself, they were all right to bully me, they knew better than I did. I wish I wasn't such a coward. things are too hard. everything is too hard.
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depression
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I have never gotten along with a sister-in-law of mine (our husbands are brothers, we live in the same city) and quite honestly when we were all first married 20 years ago, I just kind of ignored her, that’s what I do when I don’t like someone.
Now that we are older and a little more mature I have apologized multiple times over the years, hoping that it would help improve our relationship, but it never has. I apologized again recently and told her I hope we can have a good relationship. I walked away still feeling like it wasn’t good enough. Part of me knows that that is a reflection of her and not me, but part of me wonders if I keep apologizing because of rejection sensitive dysphoria, never getting from her the forgiveness I have asked for.
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ADHD
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I dont know how to flair this, its not quite a rant, not seeking empathy, just sharing an experience with you.
I haven't bothered to share it all in detail because its not that big of a deal, the TLDR would be she asked what ive done since i went for a course in game design and what im doing about it now, i just explained that i have no opportunities where i am, i cant move because we dont have the money and by the time we do my degree will be outdated anyway so its a waste, and ill just bite the bullet and get something that pays well instead of being happy, she asked why i went for it in the first place and i said so i could be happy, and i need to give up and find somethinf reliable near me because my life is being railroaded into more children and more commitments and by the time i get to try for anything i wanted ill be 40 by the minimum.
Once she realised that its not just "me" being "me" (you know, we get reduced to our most simple, condescending and misunderstood conception of our behaviour, usually based on when we were 10 or something) but in fact i, as usual, have actually objectively outlined literal fact and an unbiased understanding of the circumstances, she realised theres no answer and we judt pretended the conversation never happened.
I had a relented laugh insode my head for a second or 2 then went back to my chores and to-dos before i go back to work.
🙂👍
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ADHD
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(Obligatory mobile formatting disclaimer, also, English is not my first language)
I am for the first time meeting someone with whom's help I hope to eventually find out what's, for lack of a better term, wrong with me. Since nobody I've talked do in real life understands what I feel, I turn to you.
So, I'm 17 years old and I'm failing school horribly for the second time. All throughout my school years I've had terrible attendance and I've often barely managed to scrape by with ok grades. Last year I stopped attending school entirely and come this year I had to start over. Once again I find myself falling into the same pit of non attendance, which has lead me to wonder *why*. Thing is, I love school. I am *indescribably* motivated to get good grades and I wan't nothing more than to pursue higher schooling. The problem is that I simply *can't*. Most days, simply getting out of bed in the morning feels like climbing a mountain. I lay there, rested and motivated, thinking rational things , yet I find it simply impossible to just *get up*. I'm never able to do *anything* productive. Just the thought of sitting down and starting an assignment is so overwhelming that I just shut down. Some days I find even the simplest tasks impossibly insurmountable, sometimes I go days without showering, or cleaning my room or doing just *anything* because the thought of "acting" something out just feels exhausting. Even things I *know* I enjoy doing like reading or video games often feel impossible. I've gone through around 4 hobbies in the past year all of which I've felt happy and motivated doing, but in the end I simply stop, because *starting* feels exhausting. I feel like I can do nothing but watch as I actively destroy my future. What I find most frustrating about all of this is the fact that I am so happy with life otherwise. I have an amazing girlfriend of over a year, a family that tries their best and a wonderful friend group. My inability to just *do* things is suffocating me.
So, if you managed to read my crazed ramblings I thank you for your time. Just to clarify, this is not the only "symptom" I have, though I haven't talked to a professional and I am taking everything I read on the internet with a grain of salt. It is currently 05:21 in the morning and this post has taken me well over an hour. If you have anything to say, please do so. Goodnight or, whenever.
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ADHD
|
Good morning,
Sorry, my english is bad. I amb Spanish' woman (This is text from Google traslate). I was diagnosed with combined ADHD un 2011 and the drug treatment did not work good with strong adverse effects. Recently, as a result of memory loss and acute inattention with anxiety disorder and depression, I had a 3 Tesla brain MRI for determine the existence of epilepsy (as a differential diagnosi...luckily I don't have that) and that same day I had headache and the next day I was very, very attentive and calm. I was positively surprised. The next day the effects were gone.
Has anyone else happened to you? Following this, I investigated and found current transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment research.
It was very nice not to have anxiety and to have attention in the people around me and in my tasks without feeling strange, without adverse effects and in the right measure ...Thanks you.
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ADHD
|
quarentine has made me have to spend time alone with my thoughts again and it's gotten so bad that I can't sleep because I'm terrified of the nightmares and the flashbacks, I'm back to avoiding anything that remotely reminds me of the event, and it's taken over again and all I want is to forget about it and leave it behind and I can't, I'm constantly having panic attacks and I don't know what to do. I don't know what I expect to get out of saying all this, I just needed to say it somewhere
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ptsd
|
ive been taking vyvanse off and on lately, kind of as need after three years of not taking amphetamines from having difficulty regulating my dosage
i had to finish an essay over the past 3 days and i think i took one 20mg vyvanse at around 3 pm friday, then again at like 1am on saturday, and then another one at around 4pm on saturday. obviously not the proper schedule for dosing
at 6pm this evening, i fell into a really heavy sleep and almost couldnt wake up, now that im awake im experiencing really weird symptoms, like shaking, muscle tensity, slight heart palpitations, brain fog, intense hunger and my body feels extremely heavy. its hard to pay attention and keep my eyes open but not out of a normal sense of sleepyness
im wondering if i could be experiencing a mild withdrawl just from layering my dosages and lack of sleep, is there anything i could do for the withdrawl aside from taking another vyvanse?
thank you!!!
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ADHD
|
I'm willing to seek therapy for my ocd obsessive thoughts but I'm scared I'll be judged by my therapist and they'll tell me something that hurts me and makes my mental health even worse. I'm also scared nothing will work and I'll end up sad and tortured for the rest of my life.
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OCD
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I’ve been handling my depression well as of recent but I feel like every Sunday it sinks in. Maybe cuz I have no real family to be with, no friends to do anything with, no girl to go to Sunday brunch with. I’m also not into football so some guys I am friends with are glued to the tube all day. Even if it’s a nice day when’s Sunday comes around I can’t muster up the energy to go outside and do anything, I just want to lie in bed all day. It’s almost like I’m just waiting for Monday to come so I can go back to work and interact with people again.
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depression
|
Hi ADHD community, I’m new to Reddit (this is my second post!) and “new” to the worlds of ADHD & SPD, as a recently diagnosed 31yo woman.
For context, I’m currently dealing with ADHD burnout (from years of masking and struggling), in addition to sensory overload (mainly auditory), while also beginning a lifelong journey of learning about being neurod!vergent and trying to understand myself to live a more authentic and gentler future.
I’d love to connect in the comments, and hope to learn something new and take stock of resources in the process. Arriving here hasn’t been an easy journey for me, and I’m so thankful for this online community that makes me feel like I’m not alone.
Currently, I’ve been eyeing the Loop Experience earplugs for daily activity (my auditory overload is at its worst excruciating) and am looking for recommendations of sleep earplugs (that’ll be comfortable with side sleeping and ear piercings) as well as weighted headbands that cover both the eyes and ears for total sensory deprivation - for context, I sleep with blackout curtains and 5 pillows (2 of which I wrap around my head to block noise/light and provide some soothing weight/pressure).
In addition to these, I’m looking to try a pregnancy pillow (to wrap around myself in a hug), and a cooling pillow and weighted blanket/insert to help me combat insomnia and sensory relief (for context, I sleep in a queen sized bed with a duvet insert/cover and can’t stand going to sleep feeling hot). Also curious about sensory swings for adults (I have always loved swinging and am curious if these are worth mounting indoors).
Finally, do you have any other tools or advice that have served you well? I just began weekly pottery lessons, and have gotten back into colouring and journaling. Additionally, I have hand putty to squeeze/stim, salt lamps and lightbulbs, as well as the two following books: D!vergent Mind, and a Radical Guide for Women with ADHD.
I can’t begin to express how much I appreciate you reading my post and commenting below. Thank you for your vulnerability and advice!
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ADHD
|
I just got back into my apartment where my now ex-gf and i spent all of our time and just broke down. We still care about eachother and some stuff didn't work out. We continued talking lovingly but it just had a toll on her. She decided it's best if we don't talk for some time. I've been breaking down every single day, but the moment i stepped foot in the apartment, it was the worst feeling i ever experienced. I love her a lot and i'd die for her no questions asked, but living like this is just suffering.
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depression
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Not talking about hyposensitivity. Could you have sensory issues, such as auditory, textures, etc, without being aware of them?
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aspergers
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Ever have intrusive thoughts creep into your dreams???? Ugh. It's still bothering me. It was a male Siberian husky um... Yaknow. Doing that to me.
I've had arguebly more disturbing imagery like with toddlers and all that in a sexual sense. One time I had this awful night where it was about an adult man convincing teenage girls to become anorexic and "the more anorexic" they were- the more "special they were" to him.
Shits just horrifying, man. I hate it. Absolute hell. I wish I could bleach my brain.
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OCD
|
Hi all!
I'm in the process of getting diagnosed with ASD right now. My nephew (who was in my custody for several months) had previously been diagnosed with ODD - a crap diagnosis try to explain behavior related to other undiagnosed conditions. I came across ASD PDA type and it just clicked - oh my god, this is his. 100%. He fits everything perfectly. I read more about it and generally feel worried about his future.
Do any of you have PDA type and have a successful traditional adult life? I am setting aside monthly funds for him for his future but kind of hoping for some hope. I hear about what this manifeston means any worry he will never be able to have a "normal' life like I have (a bit unique but still self sufficient).
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aspergers
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Often when I agree to a set of instructions, afterwards I might reinterpret one or more steps (instructions can be verbal or written). Any strategies to mitigate this?
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aspergers
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So I'm 26 and got my diagnosis a few weeks ago, ADHD inattentive type, plus anxiety. Woah, it all just makes so much fucking sense. My complete misconception of time, my ability to do 20 tasks but finish none, no prioritisation, 100 different topics in my head, SO much procrastination, addiction and very little self control, inappropriate comments and talking over people, the overwhelm and the worry and the neg self talk, the inability to focus unless I'm locked onto something for hours, there's lots more but yeah.
I confided in a few of my friends before I got my diagnosis that I thought I might ADHD or something else was up, and they both said "does it matter? It makes no difference, you're still you, you don't need labels blah blah blah".
After a few sessions with my psych and testing, I told they same friends, one just ignored it all together, like I hadn't said anything, and the other said the same thing, "it doesn't matter either way, you're just you, you're not going to take meds so whatever"
I also told my boyfriend, and he said "haha I do those things too, I guess we are all a little bit ADHD"
I cried a lot (I always do though) but my dual diagnosis has been a huge for me, I have always felt hopeless, or useless, or not good enough because of how I function as a human, feeling like theres something wrong with me, somewhere between crippling anxiety and perfectionism, or rushing to get shit done at the last minute, but never understanding why I'm like this. I'm not here to use either label as an excuse, but I feel like someone has given me glasses, and finally I can see. Let's hope I don't lose these damn glasses.
Is it normal for people to downplay diagnosis? Why? These are three of my most important people in my life and it hurts so much.
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ADHD
|
I can't remember a time in my life where I wasn't burdened with OCD. This year, I decided I am going to do everything I wanted. I got a house, I bought a car, I took the National Interpreter Certification test that I studied for 10+ years for, and now I will focus on conquering my horrible OCD.
I've heard others' testimonies on exposure therapy and I decided to give it a go. So far, I've reduced the amount of times I wash my hands and I no longer need to wear socks to protect my feet in the kitchen!
I'd love to hear your experiences!!
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OCD
|
Hey everyone im on 45 mirzaten and im literally about to drop out of school because i cant wake up in the Morning. I slept 14HOURS TODAY.Does anyone have any idease what should I do? I feel better because of mye medication but i just need too much sleep with it.
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OCD
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I am a 22 year old guy, and i recently was having major issues with social life and my work being customer service, a close aspie friend told me he noticed i have exhibited strong signs of being autistic and the curiosity got the best of me, went to 2 different psychiatrists before they agreed to test me and i tested highly for "Aspergers, ocd, adhd, and anxiety. I am very new to "knowing" i am on the spectrum and not realizing I've been masking everything in my life trying to act like my friends and family, have had issues all my life with every symptom you could think of but i hid it and masked my entire life i feel like 2 different people. I recently went part time due to my horrible social life and customer service skills because interacting with rude people everyday messes with my head alot. Any tips on what to know or how to deal with this? Im sorry for coming off so strong.
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aspergers
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I was watching a true crime video, and I don't know why but suddenly I just realized that the person the video was talking about was human. I just thought about how it would feel to have my own trauma just shared like a story out in the public without my permission, and now I just can't watch true crime anymore. What's especially bad is people's reactions to actual real life people's trauma. I'm not saying if you enjoy true crime you're a bad person; I'm just saying that there's a problem with it most people don't realize cause of cognitive dissonance, so it's not your fault if you don't recognize. Here's some examples of people treating victims and crimes like a tv show.
[https://imgur.com/a/kieYXYm](https://imgur.com/a/kieYXYm)
TL;DR: True crime treats victims of trauma like characters in a story and it makes me uncomfortable.
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ptsd
|
Anyone ever feel like they don't deserve anything like in my situation I feel like I don't deserve anything because I've caused a bunch of bad shit to my parents by accident (and your thinking how does someone do that? Well I'm a absolute dumbass) and sense I've done those things I feel like I don't deserve things,stuff,care,love etc and wondering if others would feel like this
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depression
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I just feel like what happened to me as a kid doesn’t matter. Other children had it worse, I feel like I shouldn’t be traumatized. I feel like this shouldn’t affect me at age 24. How do you validate your trauma? How do you get yourself to firmly believe that it wasn’t your fault? How do you stop minimizing and comparing your trauma to others?
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ptsd
|
Hi guys, I recently diagnosed with PTSD. One thing I find very frustrating is my inability to connect with others. I tend to overthink myself into a self-destructive “shutdown” mode.
Any advice as to what I can do to get out of this self destructive behaviour?
TIA
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ptsd
|
hello everyone. just wondering if a realization i just made about myself resonates with anyone else.
ive figured out, likely as a result of my childhood trauma, that i don't feel the sensation of received love. i make note of the people who say they love me and i attribute that to them, but i don't feel loved and safe for it. i will love others, but i just realized today that i didn't FEEL it in return.
as a result of this i'm very defensive and insecure with those who love me. if their love is validated to me by their attitude and actions and words, then changes in tone or mood will cause intense feelings of abandonment. im always protecting myself from those who love me as if im anticipating their disapproval or losing their affection. i don't approach hard conversations knowing my loved ones love me and because of that, we will figure it out, i approach them feeling like i must do everything in my power to not lose them. i feel like there's an emptiness in me where love and safety belong but i don't know how to fill it. so i lash out at people for not loving me right and i don't trust them not to hurt me. it's unfair to those who are there for me and love me.
i want to know how to heal. does anyone experience the same?
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ptsd
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Does exercise makes you sleepy? My insomnia is pretty bad but Ive noticed that if I do HITT work outs, it helps so much my sleep- but people always get surprised that I can sleep after exercising… what does exercise does to you? Does it have anything to do with my ADHD? … by the way, I do have severe ADHD
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ADHD
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