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My life is falling apart at 14. I can’t seem to get the energy to do what I need to, it’s not an unavoidable end. I know that already. I don’t know why I do this to myself, why I put off work and then get anxious when it’s not done and further ignore it until it goes away. But it won’t just vanish it’ll cause other problems I choose to ignore.
But I fill this void and fear with video games that’ll be useless things in the future; they make me happy when I’m lost but when I realize reality isn’t always going to wait for me to catch up I run the opposite direction.
I’m constantly feeling this empty feeling that the things I’ve ran from are suddenly going to come rushing at me. Like my life will suddenly be ruined and everything wrong will suddenly stop and I'll choose the option of death to finally console myself.
It’s not inevitable, I know. I just seem to like the comfort of being in this situation that I’ve been in so many times before. It’s always worked out then, but it won’t now. It’s scary to be this out of hope at 14, I’ve my whole life ahead of me.
I feel as though I’ll die tomorrow yet I don’t seem to want to change the fact. It isn’t running away, it’s simply accepting. Maybe it won’t be real death, maybe my spirt will finally be diminished and my life will go down hill.
I feel so empty everyday. My assignments for school all undone, an F in three classes. It isn’t the end of the world, the worst it would be is summer school. I just feel so much self hatred for not completing my assignments even though it’s not too late to do them. I’m self destructing and self pitying so much that I accept the fate of something I can change but won’t put effort in.
In the future when, or if, I make it to 18 if I continue on like this my life will surely be ruined. I don’t seem to be changing anytime soon I just want to die rather than fix what’s broken. I’m too tired.
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depression
|
I don't even know where to start but this theme has absolutely ruined my life and sanity
My OCD has convinced me that I might have sent something inappropriate to someone and this legit started out as a false memory of "what if i behaved badly as a child and can't remember, someone is suffering because of me"
that became -> Ok ok you didn't do anything wrong as a child but what if you did do something bad as an adult??
\-> ok maybe you didn't do anything bad as an adult but what if it wasn't bad bad but just harassment? better write a list of every girl you ever liked and check if you were inappropriate
\-> that's silly I know I didn't do anything wrong, but what about financial crimes? you didn't steal anything did you?? or you didn't do art commission and took money anyway? so your a thief and you'll go to jail
\-> that's stupid as hell that never happened, but what if you did something in the last 12 years? better write all the memories you can remember so your ocd won't corrupt anything and scare you anymore
\-> oh god what if you didn't do anything bad in real life but you sent something wrong to someone ONLINE
\-> better check discord, facebook, whatsapp, emails, line, skype from 2011-2021, every message, every picture and every audio/video file
I legitimately checked this one girl's dm for 3 years over and over again even though there was absolutely nothing all because she was under 18, it freaks me out to text anyone under 18 even a simple hi can i talk to you from someone in discord for something innocent makes me scared bc my ocd will one day ask me "are you sure you didnt say anything mean or bad?" and ill end up spending hours reading the same messages over and over again to make sure
I have spent hundreds of hours checking messages.. I've found literally nothing and when I did find something "bad" it was something like a harmless innuendo between friends and I'd end up apologizing or freaking out over it for days. Its ridiculous
I found a skype conversation with someone a few weeks ago and its become my latest obsession to find out what was in it bc im scared of what if something bad is in it. I've spend so many hours running file recovery stuff on my old hard drive trying to find skype database files pre-2017. I know there isn't anything bad in it but until I find out its like.. I can't even talk to my friends I feel like a horrible person because "if ocd is right, I don't deserve my friends and everyone will hate me"
I'm depressed. This whole thing has gotten way out of hand. The false memory thing affects me in every aspect of life.
I check roads over and over again while driving, wash my hands like 5-6 times bc i can't trust my memory that i washed it.. 10 seconds ago
If I pass by someone I feel like "what if your hands accidentally touched someone's thigh or something and you are a bad person" so i have to turn around and just stand in the middle of the street to check if i hurt anyone
I'm legitimately in agony, this disease has destroyed my life. I keep working everyday to stay busy and work parallel to OCD. Like accept the uncertainty that something may or may not be true, "I still need to make a living even if I'm thrown out of society" as a reasoning to keep studying/working. Its a depressing life to expect to be shunned by everyone you love. I feel bad you guys, I really need help
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OCD
|
I blog, participate in NaNoWriMo, but I never talk about what worries me. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I assume I have it because I am slow to start and gloopy (sad.) I'm beginning to wonder if I am not bonkers because I keep going despite nothing to live for.
Without going into a sob story, I'm 43/single dad, and among other things, my son is autistic, and I stress him out. Instead of the happy, goofy kid I used to hang with, now I get the raging-out, pretending to shoot me, lunatic version.
My real worry is that I keep getting up like tomorrow will be different from today. I don't get up hoping today I'll meet a woman or that I won't feel like crap all day. I worry that I'm so cratered and so deep in the trough that this acting like an automaton will be my life, short as it may be from heart failure.
I'm not suicidal beyond what's wrong with me that I haven't given in yet.
Here's my question, Reddit: Is this normal? Am I jumping at shadows?
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depression
|
How much does your current financial situation contribute to your depression and feeling of sadness rather then your life situation?
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depression
|
Hello! My loved one is currently undergoing Cognitive Processing Therapy and they're using something called ay PCL-5 to asses the amount of PTSD symptoms they're experiencing and document it as it decreases over time.
As I'm not in sessions with them, I'd love to hear an explanation of what the PCL-5 is (everything that turned up on Google was totally inaccessible to the everyman; it was mostly studies and research articles), maybe even how it was created and any useful info for supporting a loved one with PTSD. Thank you all!
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ptsd
|
I just want to know that I have done something unforgivable so that I could just end it all
I'm tired of pondering and catastrophising and ruining everything, but if I had really done something awful, it wouldn't matter, I wouldn't deserve anything more
I hate having OCD. I hate being schizotypal, I hate myself but I don't want to. I don't want to think about this but this is my curse
All the things that have happened to me are ripping me to shreds, every single day, my life was ruined from the get-go
My soul is impure and ruined and it will never ever be clean
|
OCD
|
[deleted]
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/p0119j)
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OCD
|
So I have lots of tricks I use in my life and thought some others might like to share theirs also
- When having to go through a lot of text quickly looking for a specific word, a trick is to look at the first letter in a big box of text. Also, keep the next 2 letters in mind so when you come across the first letter you can at a glance see if any more letters match.
- When you have to have an important conversation take a few moments before to think. Work out what are you trying to do, then consider your audience. What might upset them - what do they like, does any of that relate to what you are trying to accomplish with the conversation. If you can consider what might be a problem you can know in advance to avoid those possible issues. So consider your goal, what to avoid, what to include (likes that are RELEVANT), and what you are trying to get - and you can work it out like a map. It takes practice but you can do it alone often to get in the habit.
Anyone else?
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aspergers
|
I’ve only just recently gotten officially diagnosed with OCD. I’m currently going through a rough patch so my obsessions and compulsions have sort of gone into overdrive. I’m home with my family right now before going back to school next month, and their patience with me seems to be wearing thin. They don’t seem to understand that I myself am annoyed by this but am only just starting to learn how to deal with all of it. Things have been pretty intense for me, but it’s hard to explain to them what I’m going through and why I do these compulsions. It feels like they think I’m just being annoying or clingy and can just stop any time. But it’s not that simple and I’m still learning how to deal with all of this. They seem to swing between thinking I can just stop anytime and being crazy. :/
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OCD
|
I never gave it any thought before but over the years I'd eventually annoy someone for not paying attention when they were talking to me or I'd drive them away because I probably spent most of our social interactions doing most of the talking and it would be about myself or I wouldn't keep on contact much because I was always too busy doing other things.
Over the past few years I've always suspected that maybe I had adhd because I would tune out of conversations, id get bored easily, I'm always cutting people off mid conversation, to say what I wanna say, constantly talking about myself, constantly talking fast, I'm always thinking all the time (about alot of things), I'd forget where I put my keys or phone after I had it in my hand a minute ago, I would get excited about an idea and be obsessed with it and then at some point but never fjnjsh. I also can't focus unless I have something happening at the same time like music or TV playing in the background or at work I'd be doing something and then stop to look at my phone or look up some idea had and this would happen constantly throughout the day at work. I want to get tested but I don't have the money to yet tested. Also I don't know who to talk to to get tested.
Anyway I watched this video where s guy who has adhd said that alot of people identify with a lot of the symptoms because they are common and relatable but don't have adhd.
My question for all of you is who in here was diagnosed with adhd as an adult but never thought you actually had it?
And who in here thought you had it and was tested and told you didn't have it?
A part of me like another poster said here that they wished it was confirmed they had it because I also feel it would explain so much and maybe they wouldn't blame me for the things I do. People have always acted like I was into myself or a bad friend or just a weird person cause of the aforementioned but until I get tested I don't know for sure.
If it turns out I don't have it then they means I'm probably a bad friend.
For those that were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult did others become more forgiving of how you behave when they found out?
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ADHD
|
i have always had “mental illness”. but whenever i have had a psychiatric assessment, when they ask the OCD questions, i find that they way overgeneralize (“do you wash your hands 4 hours a day? no? ok moving on”) I find myself a little worried and somehow disappointed.
i have big issues with other people not believing me, thinking i’m a fraud, thinking i’m stupid and overreacting, and basically just invalidating myself.
i told my therapist i think i might have OCD. it took a lot of courage and i felt like throwing up the entire time.. not sure why. Part of me thinks “if i respond this intensely to it, it must be a sign that it’s important or that i do have it.” I am also a little horrified with myself because nothing is more disdainful than someone faking OCD. As if it’s something quirky. So now I am going over all my symptoms in my head and trying to reassure myself, taking endless OCD assessment tests online, hoping for at least a moderate score- not because i WANT to have OCD, but because if i don’t have OCD, i’m a fucking idiot for thinking my problems equate to such a horrible illness. Like, who do i think i am? At the same time there are genuine and significant reasons i brought it up with my therapist in the first place and i have significant symptoms.
I have always been horrified of strangely specific things: my car’s trunk randomly popping open and my groceries falling out and decapitating/severely injuring someone when they fly through their windshield (i open and close the trunk several times just in case), forgetting to lock a public bathroom door and being walked in on and publicly humiliated (i lock it and walk away but part of me says: what if i didn’t lock it? it’s not safe in here. so i lock and unlock it a few times. because the fear of being walked in on makes it impossible for me to go to the bathroom in peace.)
The list goes on but my point is that I see in my life many intense fears that come to mind sometimes randomly and sometimes from a trigger. And i have things i do to make sure they don’t happen. even if it’s totally unlikely. but many of these things are not the “traditional” OCD symptoms.
I don’t know how to feel. Does anyone have OCD but constantly feel like a fraud? I think: ok, i have a lot of these symptoms and they bother me significantly, but there’s no way i have OCD- that’s a serious diagnosis that should be reserved for people who are ACTUALLY suffering- and i’m a fucking idiot for actually believing my problems and anxieties are significant enough for such a serious diagnosis.
Does anyone relate or have any thoughts on this? I am keenly aware that I am posting in private hope of validation. (am i being obsessive-compulsive about having ocd? )
My assessment is in a few weeks.
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OCD
|
The obsessive need to check if something is how I want it to be is consuming me.
Last week I had to send out an application, after I was done, I kept wondering if I had sent out the correct documents and and I couldn't help but reach out to the company if I could resend my application, just to make sure I have sent everything.
I know it isn't great to feed the obsession, but I take photos of stuff now so I can refer to them later when I'm left wondering if I did it well.
This is exhausting. Sigh
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OCD
|
My adhd made school a huge struggle for me. I was overwhelmed with taking so many classes at once, found it impossible to concentrate in class because I felt everyone was staring and judging me, unable to work up the motivation to study despite knowing I really had to, and fear of getting screamed at by my parents for getting low grades. So, needless to say, I was a D grade student.
Anyway, I’ve been out of school fo more than 5 years now but I still can’t get over how stupid I feel for not getting good ones.
My sisters all got great grades, and it makes me so jealous. I can’t stand hearing my mom call someone smart because they got good grades in school. It just makes me feel so stupid. Like my mind is mentally deficient.
The worst part is that I hyper focus on this feeling. I just don’t know how to shake it.
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ADHD
|
I (19M), was diagnosed with ADHD three months ago and started on 10mg of adderall IR. I am now prescribed 15mg in the morning and 10mg in the afternoon (IR). Dosage got bumped up because I developed a pretty noticeable tolerance to the 10.
Throughout high school I never understood why it was so hard for me to focus on almost anything and why my grades were so fucked. I've always been a private person who hides his emotions so I never got mental health help. With sophomore year of college fucking my brain, I decided it was finally time to seek help.
Anyways, even with the initial "honeymoon phase" euphoria gone, I am officially a new man. I now enjoy my hobbies with real excitement and am able to do consistent 2-3 hour homework sessions each day. I feel like I am able to do what I need to do with true enjoyment.
While adderall took away ADHD symptoms, it also took away most of my depression and anxiety! I even feel way better while not on adderall because I know I conquered the day and will conquer the next day. For example, I didn't even take adderall today. I just have the motivation to write this post because being on adderall (even on off days) has made me a generally more happy person. I seem to attract more friends, girls, and positivity into my life. I'm also getting better at my hobbies much faster (mostly weightlifting, singing, and snowboarding).
I think this is a miracle drug.
Y'all have the same experience? I'd love to hear whose experiences are the same and/or differ from mine.
|
ADHD
|
We all know this one. You try to explain to someone what being autistic is like (trouble with small talk, enthusiastic about narrow set of topics, sensitive to certain stimuli, etc) and the response goes something like "I think everyone deals with that."
Just...no. No you don't.
I'm not asking (or wanting) a pity parade here or for you to cry me a river, but being an autist is not the same as social anxiety or depression or regular in groups and out groups (though it can definitely overlap with all of those). It is a fundamental, biological difference that makes me at least feel like a slightly different creature, not just a slightly different person than neurotypicals.
Is that what I say to them? No, but I wish I did. I don't want to hang it all on them but I have the suspicion that if I tried to explain something like, yeah, I have to deliberately practice facial expressions for certain emotions, they would think a) it's TMI and b) they wouldn't really believe me. And I know I shouldn't hang my hopes on NTs being able to see and understand us perfectly, but it would be nice. So much of the identify conversation revolves around race, sexuality, class, and what not which it all should, but each of those depends on the basics of human communication, emotional or otherwise.
I don't have that luxury.
I get it. Other people deal with depression, trauma, and psychological issues, too. I don't want to invalidate those legitimate conditions of other people.
But. They. Are. Not. The. Same.
I just don't know how to communicate that without sounding like a high-and-might, privileged jerk face.
​
EDIT: Wow! This blew up overnight. Thank you everyone for your awards, upvotes, and comments. It's encouraging to know just how many other people actually share similar experiences.
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aspergers
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I really don't want to infect myself, but expose myself to them.
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OCD
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Hi fellow ADHD'ers,
I have been on vyvanse for about 2-3 months now, started at 20mg, then doubled to 40mg. I find that the first week is great when the dose increases (0 to 20mg, and then 20 to 40mg), but then I experience tapering efficiency and what I mean by that is that it starts working well, say 90%, then slowly day by day gets less and less effective.
I am wondering if anyone else experiences this, if it's simply a sign I need to increase my dose or if I need to switch medications all together?
Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences.
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ADHD
|
There were always some people in my life, mostly girls, talking about sex and virginity and stuff. I would never know what to answer when I was asked if I was a virgin, because I didnt know if the rape counted. And I always felt terrible for having my "innocence" ripped away from me at that young age. How did you cope with that and what is your opinion on it? Does it count as virginity taken away from you?
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ptsd
|
Edit: thank you, everyone who commented and was willing to share with me, I will have more than enough to write my capstone
Hello, I'm a senior college student who is writing my capstone on PTSD. I need to interview someone who has experience with PTSD, and due to both the delicacy of this issue and my lack of access to people with this disorder finding people to interview has become an issue. We can talk via private message or if you want we could use skype for a voice interview. I understand that this isn't what this Reddit is for, but my professor has published students works before, so with the right infromation i might be able to help those that need help. Thank you and take care.
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ptsd
|
Recently I've been wanting to go to the mall to get some new clothes but I just can't bring myself to go. I get a lot of obsessions and anxiety and I can't take it with so many strangers around me, I don't want to think that I want to harm someone and I don't want to have racist thoughts. When I'm with someone it gets much better, so I texted all my friends asking them to go to the mall with me. No one wants to go and they're not even busy. I don't understand why. When I tried to explain how I feel and that it would help me a lot if someone went with me no one listened. Am I really such a bad person to hang out with? I think I'm open and happy around my friends. I don't understand why they don't feel the same. So I don't know if I should somehow force myself to go or just not go at all. I feel alone in this situation.
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OCD
|
I constantly feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.
Last weekend, I spent three hours working on a short essay for one of my classes, only to realize that I'd been editing the same three sentences over and over with no goddamn improvement or real progress. I realized that this was something that I'd always done with written assignments, why I'd spend all day working on an essay, then all night til the sun rises, only to be moderately satisfied with my results, the same satisfaction as if I'd only worked 2 hours on it. I can't bring myself to turn in anything that doesn't feel perfect to me, so I end up not turning in anything at all. I can't even bring myself to email my professor because drafting the message will take the same amount of energy– and I'm just... too exhausted.
I'm so frustrated with not being able to do something without worst-possible-scenario thoughts running over and over again in my mind, and not being able to let myself talk to anyone about it because it feels like I know exactly how they'll react. I don't want to even entertain the possibility of another person telling me "it's not that bad, it's just in your head". I feel so ashamed for being 'dramatic', like I'm a toddler whining about a bruised knee, and I'm so, so tired. I don't want to keep searching for answers to my hypochondria and intrusive thoughts, I just want them to stop so goddamn badly.
I look for diagnoses online and rant to my friends about my findings, just for the satisfaction from those moments of release to subside, then I have to repeat it again– and again. I want to talk to someone about it, but I can't handle being told that I'm not right. It just feels like none of the solutions I find are effective. But when I stop trying, I feel like an even bigger failure for not fighting for my own happiness. There's no right answer– but that's not the answer I want.
I don't know what to do. I want to make it stop. I just want to feel normal.
|
OCD
|
Something I noticed with me at least.
I was into acting since I could walk. I've been in every acting group from Kindergarten to Secondary School. Even though I don't want to do it professionally, I just loved doing it. The taking on of a different role. The dressing up. The mingling with other roles. The spotlight (even if its small). The mingling. Everything.
At first I didn't think about it as much. But now, the older I get, the more I realise how much theater has helped me socialising. Because of my acting, I've gotten used to controlling how my body "looks". There is a surprising lot of science behind theater which you passivley pick up -mostly about body language, but also way of speaking.
This helps me immensly nowadays. Every time I have to present myself, it feels like a small stage show. I can turn my "vibe" on and off -aka, you know how some people just seem to have an "look at me" aura that you notice them, and others an "look away" so you don't notice them? That's the thing I can control. I also learned about how to coordinate clothing and partially how to do makeup. And don't forget, I also partially learned to read the room and how to re-act on people's behaviour.
Did anyone else have the same experience? I'm no professional, but having met other ASD actors, I wonder if acting wouldn't be a good tool for young aspies to help them socialise better. Doesn't even have to be a stage performance. Just acting scenes.
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aspergers
|
My brain is just putting random words together and spitting random nonsense all day now. Like words and phrases that make no sense. It’ll pick up bits and pieces of Info or words I’m hearing/reading and add in some other words and make a sentence that is just gibberish.
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OCD
|
I find myself either intentionally or unintentionally saying or doing mean things to my friends that I dearly care about, but the thing is, I don't really know *why* I do it or want to do it. Most of the time I don't want to do it but sometimes it almost feels like a compulsion. It's harming my friendships and I don't know what to do. Help.
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OCD
|
Ever since June I’ve been trying to get assessed. I’m an 18 year old girl who lives in a fairly small conservative town where nobody knows anything about mental illness or disability. I’ve had to work tooth and nail to even try to get a referral to go get assessed, but to no avail. I’ve been lied to by doctors about what my assessment is for and where my referral went. I’ve been told by my therapist that all of their connections won’t assess adults. And I was recently told that due to my age and gender I essentially have no resources to get a proper diagnosis in my state. It’s scary. I’ve been told that I don’t need a diagnosis but nobody believes that I’m autistic if I don’t get one. There’s not even any resources for me in the capital of my state. I feel at a loss and am about to just give up completely on my search for an assessment.
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aspergers
|
So I was diagnosed with tourettes when I was in third grade, and someone I know was talking to me about how it's not uncommon for those with tourettes to also have autism or some form of it. I also have ADD which I've been told is also on the spectrum if that's also true?
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aspergers
|
When I was little my father was very abusive. I was under the age of 5 for most of it. I remember bits and pieces but they’re all very broken memories. My mom has been psychologically abusive to me for my whole life. I have been in and out of therapy since I was 8. This year I finally found a therapist who is really helpful. Her approach focuses on trauma (there’s a word she used to describe it but I honestly don’t remember what it was). Anyways, we have been working hard this year on my anxiety. I have horrible panic attacks, I always just thought I was an anxious person but it appears that it’s more than just anxiety. My therapist says she believes I have a degree of PTSD. If I hear sirens I panic, if a man yells my heart starts racing, going into my mom’s home on Christmas made me shut down. I stared at the wall for the 2 hours I was there trying to keep myself from hyper ventilating and sobbing. I am on Zoloft officially and I am trying so hard to heal from my past. I have started to think that cutting my mom out of my life is a necessity. It breaks my heart. I’m really struggling with it. I just don’t know how I am going to find peace when I am still dealing with the behavior that causes me so much anxiety and stress. Besides the therapy, Zoloft, and maybe making some relationship decisions I could really use some tools to use in the middle of my panic attacks. Tonight I had one for 4 hours. All I wanted was for it to stop. I am considering getting a weighted blanket, I also have some visualization coping skills my therapist has taught me, but to be honest once I get to a certain point those don’t help. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.
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ptsd
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It's been beyond tough today...this illness can be so extreme. Digging in to the deepest parts of me for strength.
​
I hope you guys are ok
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OCD
|
I'm a fucking waste of space. They could've never let me be born instead of letting me kill myself - if I dare to - and waste the time put on me. None of my parents have patience for me anymore. I'm one of the fucking eleven kids in my family including half siblings, my father has a second wife and ignore my mother and her children (basically), one of my brothers has cancer right now and he straight up doesn't care, another two siblings have coronavirus and my mother can't manage it at all, with her seven kids. If I die, maybe I'd lift some of the burden on her. My father certainly won't care.
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depression
|
After waiting for several months, I finally had my first appointment with a psychologist to get tested for adhd. But little did I know it was going to go very down hill from there.
I was very excited because this appointment meant I was finally going to get answers. I suspected I had adhd for a long time. I've done a lot of research, read a lot, etc and it all clicked for me.
So I go to this psychologist, and he first told me, "you know it's hard to get diagnosed as an adult, right?" That was what should have been the first red flag.
So he had me sit down and fill out that long questionnaire for adhd. He then asked my mom to fill it out too. He then took me to another room to take the TOVA test. And also to note, my mom had a very bad migraine that day and she knew that could affect her answers and said she was probably biased anyway since she's my mother. When I came back, I saw a glimpse of her answers and I noticed they were very different than mine. It felt like that was another bad sign. BTW, I do love my mother very much and she's very supportive in me getting a diagnosis. She also suspects she's autistic and I'm the same. As a side note, he also had me take the autism spectrum quotient where I did score in the range of having autism.
And honestly, the fucked up thing. He KNEW my mom was having a bad migraine. And before he knew my mom was in the car, waiting. There was the option of taking the questionnaire home. So my mom came in, let him know her answers may be biased and she has a bad migraine. And now thinking back on it, he could have brought up the option again that she could take the questionnaire home. So this tells me he's cruel and unempathetic.
So a few days passed and I get a text from him asking me what my GPA in school was. This was another red flag.
So the day for the second appointment came along and he gave me the packet with all the info and got to the point. "You don't have adhd," he said. Because I'm a gifted kid and there was no way that I could have it. But the reality of it was, I procrastinate so much, and without a deadline, nothing would get done. And even with a planner, I would entirely forget that planner's existence. I never liked to fail so I worked twice as hard to get good grades.
But here's what's wild. I scored -4 on TOVA where a score above 0 is normal. And my answers on the questionnaire were on par for inattentive adhd. BUT because I had a high GPA and my mom's answers were different and because I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I clearly don't have adhd. Oh and it could also be my anxiety he said. He also said that it doesn't really impair my function, but it does, it really does. I've been struggling so much. And no matter what I said afterwards on how much I've struggled, he clearly made up his mind. He even said, "You seem to want to have adhd." which isn't the case but I want answers and that made the most sense.
Also to add on, I'm also a woman so that probably made things much harder.
Tl;dr: Went to a psychologist to get tested for adhd but I got hit with the classic "even though you have all the signs for adhd, you did too well in school so you don't have it."
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ADHD
|
I'm in my thirties and just recently got diagnosed with ocd. I guess I should have known I had it but I always just thought my behavior was something to be ashamed about and mostly kept my compulsions a secret. One of the most self destructive and possibly dangerous is picking. Zits, hairs, scabs, moles all of it. I will pick it until it bleeds. Then be completely convinced it's not done, or gone. I have one that I'm completely ashamed of. It's on a place that can't be seen but I've picked it so many days in a row that I can see fat. It's super deep and I don't know why I do it. I can't stop. Then comes the panic that it might get infected and I would have to show a dr. Or that my wife will see it. I hate being defeated by my own brain.
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OCD
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And it's really affecting my personal life. I see my doctor soon. I've not received a diagnosis yet (haven't seen a doc in years), but I usually screen very high. It's hard to even hold a conversation much of the time. I'm starting to isolate.
Does anybody have any tips for the meantime? Anything helps <3
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ptsd
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I always feel like the least respected and least important person in the room does anyone else have this same issue with themselves? Like not being wanted or respected by other people?
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aspergers
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10 minutes of google searching and couldnt find anybody with similar issues so im asking here. i get depressive episodes (probably 2-5 times a month) that last only a few hours and then i slowly return to my normal self. hoping to figure out if theres a name for that so i can look into it further and maybe talk to a doctor about it. thanks in advance !
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depression
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Apparently i’m very bad at multitasking. Was on a video call with a friend and she asked why i couldn’t hear her.
I’ve thought about it and it seems like when i’m masking / trying to coordinate myself my hearing just like disconnects or something? it’s like i’m listening to gibberish and it’s really embarrassing XD
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aspergers
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Can’t tell if my meds are working or not
I’m diagnosed ADHD and prescribed Adderall for treatment. I’ve been taking 10 mg Adderall for a week now, and I was on 5 mg for week before that. I still find myself zoning out frequently every time I look in a different direction. I also constantly jump topics. For example of what I’m talking about, today I found myself thinking about quantum mechanics in History class because we’re learning about WW2 Japan and the teacher mentioned Hiroshima that led to the Manhattan project which led to me thinking about the physicists involved and that led to quantum mechanics. I don’t think this is supposed to happen on effective medication, so I’m wondering maybe I should get a new prescription.
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ADHD
|
I got into an argument because I hadn’t done my part in a rp for a while and I just felt that I couldn’t say I wasn’t able to do it
My friends are NT and refuse to believe I’m being serious when I say that I just can’t seem to admit that I can’t do it
It got me thinking about my other NT family members compared to me and my nana (who is definitely on the spectrum). I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence or not
All my family seems to be able to admit they’re wrong so easily, but I’ve noticed me and my nana both struggle to do that
So my NT family can admit they’re wrong, and my online friends refuse to believe that I just can’t seem to. Is this like...an autistic thing...? Or is there another explanation, because either way, I need a way to explain what I mean, I’ve completely failed at articulating my thoughts about this and why lmao
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aspergers
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I'm honestly starting to get really bad social anxiety and really hate being around people in general, because I'm always getting so depressed. 90% of the time, whether I'm with my usual friends or a new friend group, I'm the "odd one out." I'm always the only virgin in the group with zero dating experience. I'm always the only one who defies the gender rules; as opposed to acting all macho and tough like most guys I see doing, I am more empathetic and softer and just generally act feminine as well. I'm also the only one who never cusses, so there's that as well. I always feel like the child as a result which severely depresses me. My abnormality makes me extremely unattractive to everyone.
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depression
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I live in Germany and there is a German account on Instagram ocdland and the therapist says that if u enjoy lesbian fantasies its not hocd :-(. I am scared now. I dont enjoy it now, but before hocd i have watched only lesbian porn though i only liked men in real life. But now the therapist says I am in denial and dont have hocd :-(
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OCD
|
Can't enjoy anything anymore, wasted the past 20 years unemployed , not achieving my goals and going to become homeless.
Can't feel excited, enjoyment, pleasure. Chronic pure o thoughts and feelings everyday all day.
Life is not even enjoyable. I don't want to get to the finish line and achieve nothing, mine as well end it now before I waste my life in pain and suffering.
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OCD
|
I was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago (hi!) and, in the process of the assessment and afterwards, have of course been reflecting a lot.
One thing that just popped in my head is a memory of when I was a kid: my mother took me to an eye doctor after I asked about seeing "a bunch of tiny dots," primarily when looking at a blank wall, for example. My vision was fine, and the doctor said it sounded like I was just noticing floaters, but I knew what he was talking about and while I did/do notice those, this was/is something different. I was really young, and I remember wondering if I was somehow able to just barely see individual atoms lol.
I always assumed this is how everyone sees, but no one ever knew what I was talking about, and the eye doctor didn't seem to either. But now I'm curious again; It's like static but much, much tinier and so barely-there that it could seem like a hallucination (though I doubt it, because this has been lifelong).
Is this something anyone else has noticed? Could it be related to being autistic/focusing on details, and it's just how eyes work? Or is it probably something to do with my vision in particular?
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aspergers
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day 5 of vyvanse - 30mg, but will double in a month.
I am not slim, and have plenty of weight to lose, thank helm. I already didn't eat until lunchtime pre-meds - no interest in morning food. Coffee only until 12.
but I have lost 2kg on the scale already. Ok yes, this is good - but it cannot continue like this surely? I have had a proper high protein dinner each day after the meds wear off. Have had coffee, and forced down a protein bar or some crackers and cheese early-mid afternoon.
Did it slow down for you? I exercise a bit, should I not for a while? Or just the weights etc, not the cardio?
Any anecdotes please. I feel for people of normal BMI. you must have to mainline pb smoothies or something ugh.
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ADHD
|
I've had over the years incidents when I've been really sick (fever, etc.) and it felt like torture to bring myself to ask the boss to leave. In those instances, he said I didn't look too bad.
Do the facial expressions of aspies tend to hide the telltale signs of fever? How about anxiety, which I have been diagnosed with since 2016?
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aspergers
|
trigger warning: racism, intrusive racist thoughts
Hello all,
I've been having lots of thoughts about racism lately. I am still not sure if these are intrusive thoughts or not, but I want to be sure what the distinction between intrusive thoughts and actual racism are.
I was talking to a friend of mine about dating, and they told me something that was racist. They told me that they had a "racial preference" in dating and that they did not want to date black people. They told me that they felt uncomfortable around black people, and that they felt that black people usually talked in an aggressive manner that made them uncomfortable.
I felt a little bit put on the spot, but I tried to politely tell them what was wrong with their beliefs. I told them this "preference" was not the same thing as a sexual preference to a specific gender, and was instead affected by culture. I told them that not all black people talked in the "aggressive" way my friend said they talked like. I told them that dating black people is not intimidating in the way my friend was making it out to be, and that they should not avoid dating black people, because they may be missing out on an opportunity to meet someone that's perfect for them.
It just scares me because I notice that I have acted uncomfortable around black people before, and it makes me think that I am not much different from my friend. I remember having a period of time where I was not extremely fixated on racist thoughts and a fear of acting racist. Of course I still had racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. thoughts and stereotypes in my head, but there was not the fear that came with the thoughts. I could avoid fixating on them like everyone else can.
Before I was super fixated on these thoughts, I could have a normal conversation with a black person without thinking about it. Once the thoughts gradually took over me, a conversation with a black person would make my face go red, I would think about how uncomfortable my stance, my facial expressions were, even looking at my expressions after conversations in a mirror to see if I was acting uncomfortable and racist. When I was walking down a hallway and saw a black person, I would think about all the ways my body could be acting to be uncomfortable and racist, which would make me feel uncomfortable, which is racist. I even struggled with not feeling extreme stress when looking at an image of a black person, because I would tell myself that I was perceiving them in a racist way, even if I did not think of any racist stereotypes.
What I've been trying to do to address this problematic behavior of mine is to start talking to black people when I am out in public. I also noticed that breathing exercises from my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that are aimed at my ADHD and Anxiety are weirdly helpful during stressful moments!
With one step at a time, I seem to be improving my behavior. When I first talked to black people while out in public, I would get so nervous that my face would go red, but over time I stopped having this problem. On my less anxious days and I am walking by a black person down the hallway, I can let go of my thoughts that are telling me how uncomfortable I must be acting around black people, and just walk down a hallway like a normal person! I do not feel extreme stress anymore when looking at a picture of a black person.
Perhaps the difference between my friend and I is that I see acting uncomfortable around black people as a racist act that needs to be fixed and my friend does not? I try to talk to black people, and tell my therapist about my problem so that my therapist can help me to stop acting uncomfortable around black people, while my friend just tells themself that they are perfectly fine acting uncomfortable around black people, that this is a "race-based preference", and that this is "what black people deserve" for acting stereotypically black. But my guess is that my friend doesn't experience the same amount of anxiety with their "discomfort" as I do, and that they just see a black person, think of stereotypes about them, and never question those stereotypes.
What also scares me is that I notice that I sometimes have the thought "I don't want to date a black person" and then an stereotyped image of a black person in my head and how it would be "so awful" to date that stereotyped image. To respond to this thought, I would tell myself that I have seen racist stereotypes all my life, but that these thoughts are not reflective of what I believe. I have had crushes on black people and dated a black person before, so I know that I do not actually hate dating black people or am "incapable" of falling in love with a black person. I would also tell myself that not every black person fits the stereotypes of black people, and it is toxic to assume a person is a certain way because they are black. Black people face the emotional burden of those stereotypes, and black people are usually forced to go out of their way to avoid being perceived as that stereotype. So I now know that this thought is racist but not me, so I should just move on from the thought.
In other words, as a result of living in a racist society, it is normal for white people to have these racist thoughts and stereotypes in their heads. What matters is the *second* thought that comes after it: do I genuinely believe that this racist thought is true or do I correct myself for thinking of a racist stereotype? At the same time, I should not tell myself that I am a terrible person because I am having the thought, since then I will pressure myself not to think of the thought and then I will think of the thought even more.
Is this the appropriate way to approach these thoughts? I've been acting off-kilter for the past few years due to thoughts that are racist/homophobic/ableist/etc., and I've noticed that the intrusive thought approach towards my negative thoughts helps me to think of them less and get less anxiety over them. I just want to be sure that I am approaching this in the right direction and not acting the same way as my friend did.
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OCD
|
I got assessed/evaluated for ADHD two days ago. I (wrongly) assumed it would be a Q&A-type format (apparently that's next), but it was actually a bunch of random mini-tests over almost two hours. Figured I'd share what happened in case it helps someone else know what to expect:
* **Random trivia questions:** who wrote X famous classic book, who was the U.S. president during X major historical event, what's the circumference of Earth?
* **Spacial stuff:** I had to arrange 9 blocks with red, white, or half-red half-white on them into various shapes indicated on a diagram (I think this was timed)
* **Pole/disc test:** There were different sizes of discs stacked on three (or four?) poles. I couldn't put a bigger disc on top of a smaller one. I had to move the discs to different poles one at a time to mimic a shape on a diagram. I think she was counting the number of "moves" it took me to do this.
* **X/space bar test** (apparently called the Conners' Continuous Performance Test): Letters flashed on a computer screen one at a time. I had to press the space bar after every letter EXCEPT x. I think this measures impulsiveness?
* **Mental math:** standardized-test-style questions I had to do in my head, also timed. (If someone has 10 apples, then gives half away, then gets two more, blah blah how many apples)
* **Word definitions:** A list of words written down. I had to explain what the word meant. The hardest one was "palliate"
* **Word relationships/categories:** Two words, and I had to explain what they had in common (tongue and nose, anchor and border, etc.)--"They're both types of XYZ"
* **Number recall:** She said a series of numbers. I had to repeat them back to her in order, in reverse, or from low to high. This was really hard when it got to be like 6-7 digits.
It was REALLY draining and again not what I expected at all, but hopefully this helps someone else be mentally prepared!
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ADHD
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I can't anymore. I fucked everything up, i hate myself. I am done, I am going to end it all soon. I am so scared.
Please dont be like me, dont let it get too far. Take care of yourself.
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depression
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when i was 14, my therapist highly suggested that i talk to a doctor about going on antidepressants because of how bad i was getting. the doctor said that it wasn’t a good idea because of my age at the time, but now i’m 16 i feel as if i should bring it up again because i can’t live like this anymore.
only problem is i don’t see my therapist until mid-january, so i’ll have to speak to my parents about it. my mum is on them herself, however i feel as if i can’t speak with them about it because they get upset when i speak about my mental health that isn’t to do with anxiety (not in a toxic way or anything, just concern but shown in probably not the best way).
i keep using euphemisms to try and hint to them that i’m feeling really depressed and want further help, but it isn’t going through.
how do i bring up the prospect of me going on antidepressants without upsetting them? i don’t want them to feel bad or anything.
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depression
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I know about your more "classic" OCD, but ive only just heard about tourettic ocd. I have a vague understanding of it but not a lot.
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OCD
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Disclaimer: I am not diagnosed with ADHD, but my therapist told me about rejection sensitivity and observed how it seems to be a big issue for me. Since this RS is commonly associated with ADHD, I am posting here since I'm assuming a lot of you guys might relate.
So two years ago I found 2 craigslist roommates and it worked out nicely, all got along great. One of them would chat with me regularly about her day and was super nice. Next year I lived with a friend (big mistake) who moved out without saying anything to move in with her boyfriend she just met. Then ghosted me :( This reduced me to an emotional baby and I was practically glued to my bed picking apart our every interaction.
Fast forward to later in the year, I reached out to Nice Chatty Craigslist Roommate to see if she was looking for a roommate. She was and said she would be so excited to live with me, signed a lease for a dumpy apartment she liked that I honestly would not have otherwise done (if it weren't for her).
I graduated last year and am taking a gap year and she is still an undergrad, so understandably she is very busy. She now had her own established friend group (she was a freshman when we first lived together), parties every weekend. Still talked with me a good amount. I honestly would have been totally fine, 100% comfortable living here if it weren't for what happened next:
One night (several days ago) she had a friend over and was laughing it up super loud. I met this friend earlier and made small talk. So I hear her distinctly say "I like lopinthruthecosmos but.." *laugh then proceeded to list off how I dress/act funny and how she felt bad for me because I don't go out or seem to have any friends. Then, of course, more laughter ensued. Immediately burst into tears in my room, I just felt so humiliated.
My fears about how other people view/think of me were confirmed yet again. I've been stuck on this for days and feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome here. I dread having to go back to my apartment. I can't get past it and am now actively seeking someone to sublet my spot to.
TL;DR Overheard roommate who I thought considered me a friend make fun of me
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ADHD
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So my (mid 20s M) whole life I had most of the big signs of ADHD, I just never was tested or diagnosed with it. I’m not sure if I even have ADHD. But I do want to find out if I do. I feel like some of the symptoms I face regarding possible ADHD affects me severely in some areas of my life. But to be honest, I don’t even know who to speak to and how to go about making an appointment. And I’m so nervous about the whole experience as well. I wouldn’t even know what to expect. Any help/advice is greatly appreciated!
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ADHD
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I don’t remember a time when I truly felt alive. Because I’m always either living in fear or dark clouds are above me. I’m never just living. And I don’t know if I ever will.
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ptsd
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Hello and thank you in advanced for reading.
I spent six months in prolonged exposure therapy and am still suffering from PTSD. PE brought up a lot of other traumas that I’m now working through with CPT. I’ve been avoiding the worksheets all week. I feel exhausted, and like I should be healed already because of PE. I’m loosing patience with myself and am to the point where I’m considering stopping therapy. Why put so much energy in something that seems to be pointless? But logically, I know that I have to keep going and I have to keep doing the worksheets. Does anyone have any advice on disciplining yourself/ motivating yourself? I feel like I’m treading water and it’s not long until I decide to let myself drown.
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ptsd
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I feel trapped rn.
I want to die, but my best friends therapy was canceled and she's in a very bad shape at the moment. I don't want to be suffering any longer, I've been in therapy for 2 years to absolutely no help and it's not getting better.
I want to go so bad, but I don't want to leave her behind.
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depression
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Hi, my name is Michael and i suffer from depression. I ask here for help because i have nobody to talk to about this ( or i don't wan't ), and i am just tired, from crying almost everyday, insomnia, trying many times to hurt myself ( not suicidall thoughts tho), not eating, in the last 2-3 years even simple tasks like taking a shower and brushing my teeth feels complicated and overwelming. I can't go to a therapist because i live now in another country and im still struggling with the language, and it drives me insane.
If someone here, have some advices, im really desperate, im too tired. The only thing that keeps me going is the love i have for God, but even that feels hard sometimes, and if i lose it, i will lose myself.
Thanks for your time, God bless you all, amazing Community.
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depression
|
I’m from Scotland and in mid August i went to my doctors and together we sent a referral for ADHD to the community mental health team. I’ve been expecting a letter with an appointment date on it for the last 2 months and nothings came through. So I got in touch with my GP and it turns out that two days after she sent the referral IT GOT REJECTED!??
The referral had the ADHD questionnaire that’s used in Scotland along with a number of different examples and information I gave her to include in with it.
The referral was sent on the 18th and came back on the 20th as rejected. (1) I’m so confused as to how they can just reject substantial evidence of a disorder (2) I don’t think they even looked at it because surely they can’t have processed it within 48 hours considering the substantial influx of referrals that get put through every day… but most shocking here is (3) why the f*ck was I not notified of the rejection??? I’ve been waiting for a letter that’s never going to arrive and I’m so upset about all this. Feels like a total waste of time.
Really I’m just wondering about anyone else’s experience of adhd diagnosis on the NHS (preferably Scotland as online doesn’t have as much info compared to England) but either way any info is appreciated.
Private health care worth it?
Does anyone feel they need a formal diagnosis to legitimise the fact they have ADHD, and without diagnosis feel they can’t be open about it without fear of being called a fake ? Just feeling totally lost right now.
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ADHD
|
This is veryyy long so feel free to skip lol, just been holding this in for a while. Skip to the bottomish for my main point. (I tried to make this shorter but I’m known for talking too much lmfao)
I’m currently 18, a college student, and have been trying to get diagnosed/treated for several years. I’ve been told by teachers, tutors, close friends, and my sister “you should get tested”, “do you have adhd? i know lots of people” etc. I’ve always been the “quirky, extremely talkative, funny person” around my friends, but have been struggling so hard especially being in college now.
I have never felt comfortable talking about my struggles because I don’t have an official diagnosis, but feel somewhat comfortable talking on here, and hopefully my struggles are valid. I have always been “naturally smart”, so years of procrastination and completing things last minute during hyper focus got me pretty far up until sophomore/junior year of high school. During this time I fell into a depression and wasn’t completely sure why, and felt guilty for feeling this way and attributed it to a poor relationship with my parents and low self esteem. I felt extremely frustrated in my own brain and the way I thought and couldn’t figure out why until a little bit of research. I remember trying to take adhd tests/online screenings in the past but could never get through the questions because I thought it was dumb or lost patience (lol hence the short attention span). When I realized after a bit of research what could be adhd, the constant fidgeting, everything being a distraction, procrastination, excessive talking and interrupting, sleeplessness, caffeine making me sleepy, frustration, and lack of motivation all made sense (just to name a few).
In school I found myself understanding concepts and helping my peers, but performing poorly on tests because I didn’t notice questions, made careless mistakes, or even skipped entire pages without noticing. I could never read books or readings because i would get distracted and have to reread it. I couldn’t sit down to study — from memorizing the countries of the world to endless doodles to just fidgeting with what was around me. The pure defeat of knowing you know material and even could teach it but getting grades that didn’t represent my knowledge made me feel frustrated, upset, like I had so much wasted potential.
SKIP TO HERE
Pass forward to now -college— I find myself in a similar situation but am at the point where I am failing my exams and worried about passing the class. No one can physically watch several weeks of lectures in one day, and last time I tried, I hyperfocused for several hours until 5 am and ended in a raging headache and tears.
I want to get diagnosed/treated but am unsure how to do this, considering I am on my parent’s insurance. I have tried asking my parents in the past and my mom was slightly understanding but very questionable/not supportive of meds. Additionally, I just prefer not to do this with my parents— I feel very uncomfortable/weird relationships. My options are to
- Pay out of pocket for an evaluation/possible treatment, but am not even sure if another person is required to be there? If I were to be prescribed meds, I could maybe cover it?— have a decent amount of savings and small monthly income reserved ($400-$600) to cover it (keep in mind i’m 18) — I have heard no insurance through pharmacy can be difficult though..
- Or… I can get over the uncomfortableness and talk with my mom again (she will likely be supportive of the evaluation itself) and try to do this through insurance, but I really don’t want my parents to know about medication etc. and sort of brings up past trauma..
Anyways, sorry this was so long, but I just feel like I’m stuck and don’t know how to approach this and I really want to so pls drop advice!
TLDR; i’m pretty sure I have adhd and want to get diagnosed/treated but I’m a 18 yr old college student and still under parents insurance and it’s difficult to get tested/treated with parents- how to do this on my own??
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ADHD
|
TW: abuse and hospitals
backstory: i was in a car accident when i was young, was abused my mom for ten years and basically went through a lot of stuff.
almost a week ago a bunch of stuff happened that triggered emotions i had felt a few years ago during some certain abusive situations. i had a flashback of being choked a few months ago, and less than a week ago a flashback of being in the hospital. those i know for sure are flashbacks.
one of the flashbacks i was in my bed trying to sleep (and failing) with the blanket covering my mouth. all of a sudden i hear my dad’s voice from behind me (been dead for ten years but i didn’t find out until this year) tell me “close ur mouth” because when i was kid i would let my mouth hang open, and he woild joke about flytraps and tell me to close my mouth.
when i heard him say that, i thought to myself, “my mouth isn’t closed. how can he even see my mouth, it’s covered” failing to realize that my dad was dead. it took me a few minutes until i realized what i was thinking.
the next morning, my older cousin had come home and bought me chips, and threw it towards me so i can have them. it hit my shoulder, i immediately felt panicked and lightheaded, and for a minute i thought it was my mom standing behind me roughly shoving my shoulder. i turned around fully expecting to see her, but instead saw my cousin smiling and joking, and i remembered that i wasn’t even at home.
the rest are basically like that, just me forgetting for a few seconds where i am and who i’m with. time has also been blurring together a lot, i’m struggling to remember if some things even happened this year or five years ago, and i feel like, emotionally, i’m stuck in 2015.
are these some sort of flashbacks or am i just triggered? sorry this is long and maybe confusing.
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ptsd
|
I had taken a lot of opiods with alcohol and all it did was make me sleepy. I wanted to die as i just feel as though I'm not meant for this world. I miss the girl i love and i hated that i did everything i could in my career as a chef and as a partner knowning i failed. The only person i have opened up to is a friend from new Zealand (I'm uk).
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depression
|
Like for example I will feel like I have to rewrite something completely if I make a mistake or I’ll die but then I’ll also think that if I erase it then I’ll die so I have to pick the one to do that causes me less stress but I lose either way. I don’t know if that makes sense
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OCD
|
i feel kind of weird about it. part of me is really glad to finally put a name to this thing i’ve been dealing with for years and i’m happy that i’m finally getting treatment, but i’m weirdly sad for some reason. i’m a bit nervous about my therapy too. i’m gonna be doing group therapy and individual and one of them is exposure therapy, which absolutely scares me, but i know it’s effective. i’m also in the process of being evaluated for other mental illnesses, which gives me the same relieved/sad feelings. i don’t need advice, i just wanted to vent. i tried to talk to a friend about it and he care at all, and my mom got frustrated with me when she found out. thanks for reading this.
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OCD
|
Like my (undiagnosed) dad, I just love long drives on the highway. I wondered today whether it’s an ADHD thing. Anyone else?
Maybe the slight intensity of needing to focus on the road is stimulating and calming. Maybe it’s just enough to soak up some of the energy from my brain? Idk. Anyone else get a nice meditative feeling from highway driving?
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ADHD
|
Hi all,
Just before I post this I just wanna say I want to keep things positive.
I’ve just left my partner and checked into a hotel, my severe ocd has limited our lives to the point where it has destroyed our relationship, he has enabled everything despite us both knowing he shouldn’t. I understand his feelings and have always told him I would never try to persuade him to stay with me, the door has been open from day one. He has insisted on staying time and time again but things have started to get verbally in dark waters when he gets frustrated so I have left.
Im feeling a little scared as I don’t have anyone to stay with/am in a joint lease agreement.
I really really need a laugh right now, it feels heavy.
Has anyone got any fun stories or anecdotes/ stories of recovery to make tonight a little brighter? Thanks so much all 💖
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OCD
|
Often when I'm just trying to talk about something truthfully and accurately, like say a political or social problem, I get accused of ranting. I think I'm starting to see that many NTs view even the statement of negative facts as a problem. It seems like maintaining the belief that the world is all roses or that we can always solve all problems is more important than talking openly about reality to them?
Have you all noticed that as well? Because if its true, it might actually be super helpful in learning how to deal with NTs (so let me know!!). Also, give me all your tips on how to best understand how NTs think and how to deal with them please!!!
|
aspergers
|
I can't do this shit, I haven't been able to really sleep in 2 days. Every time I start to doze off its like a slap in the face with bad thoughts. Anyone else struggling rn so I'm not alone?
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ptsd
|
Why in the world I went against logic and watched eerie video of 45 min before going to sleep, I have no idea. Why I drank too many energy drinks knowing it will lead to hysterical anxiety? Beats me.
My eyes fucking burning from this crazy long day and now I'm just too afraid of falling asleep. Damn it.
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OCD
|
Hi,
I am awaiting an appointment with a specialist regarding my OCD. I had no idea there were so many different types, but I fall in many categories and wonder if I would had this been caught at an earlier age.
I’m 29 and for as long as I can remember I have engaged in activities like:
- Checking locks (3x per night) or else I feel extremely unnerved all night and cannot sleep
- Turning off all electronics before leaving the house/going back home to do so no matter how far away I am (or feel extreme dread that I will come home to the whole house on fire.)
- Discontinuing medication not with directions of medical professionals due to extreme health anxiety (high heart rate-assuming I’ll have a heart attack)
- Exhausting perfectionism- if I’m writing on paper, I tear up everything that isn’t to my standards, even if this is an important document. (This has been going on since I was in elementary school.)
** There are many examples of my need for perfection, but I’m too anxious/tired to list them
- Binge Eating- I always, without fail, will engage in a binge after I do not follow a strict diet correctly and then this becomes a vicious cycle that I can’t get out of
- Checking my phone over and over before work in fear that there is a NSFW tab that will appear while I’m on the clock
(Not looking for a diagnosis from anyone, but does anyone have a lot of these and know what type they have?)
I’m definitely stressed while cleaning because I need things to be a certain way to be OK, but I’m not obsessed with things being pristine. (This is what I thought OCD was all about.)
There are more things that I need to process, but I’ve never felt that my symptoms were anything but quirky personality traits. I’m really optimistic about the future after knowing what I’m up against.
I’ll be starting medication soon and exposure/CBT therapy. Wish me luck! :)
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OCD
|
I keep dissociating in class and im absorbed by traumatic memories or feelings when im home. Its really hard for me to practice advanced music theory and i feel incredibly stupid. Im managing panic attacks all day and can hardly think straight or ask for help. Im do emdr once a week and its been real rough for me
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ptsd
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Ever since I got this job my mood had changed dramatically to the point I’ve become depressed plus things outside of work and I just want to be myself again. I would kill my self if I could find a less harmful way because I’m tired.
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depression
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between october and january is weather that triggers my ptsd strongly. obviously i can’t avoid the weather, does anyone have tips on how to better manage?
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ptsd
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I recently started a new medication (quetiapine) and for the first week it felt like it was a miracle drug. I could focus again. I wasn't *happy* (I don't think I'll ever be *happy* again), but I was at least stable and able to accept the world around me as it was.
And then, for whatever reason today, it feels like it just stopped working. I'm feeling crushingly sad and having suicidal ideation again. I can't focus on work. It just really sucks.
I'm not really asking for any advice or anything here. I just needed somewhere where I could talk about how shitty it is to have a treatment start to work... and then stop working. In the last year that's happened to me with TMS, Ketamine, aripiprazole and citalopram. Everything seems to work great for a week, and then it's like my brain adjusts back to baseline, and I start hating everything again.
This is just so unfair and I don't know what to do.
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depression
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Where do I start ? My father was and still is very abusive. I grew up being beating up in a very violent way belt, electric cable, broom, hanger. One of many memories I still have was This one time when my father took the belt force me to lye down the bed grabed my feet and started to hit under my feet which super sensitive. I was not even 7year old. The reason why he beat the shit of me was because I said shut your mouth to one of my neighbor and she went and told my dad. I wanted to kill her after that. I think my father suffer from a mental illness or maybe expert trauma in his childhood himself. Because the things he use to do to me and my siblings were really crazy. He was like this until I was 17 years. Then the beating decrease but the emotional abuse persisted. My father was never nice to me and on the rare moment that he was it's because he needed something from me. He use to call me names every single day telling me that I am stupid, a piece of shit and kept threatening me to take me out of school like going to school was a favour or a reward. I am 26 years old I drop out of school after high school, I can't stay at school because everytime i sit in class or try to work on something i cant focus, I keep hearing my father's voice that I am stupid , that I am not enough , that I will do nothing with my life. I really want to at least finish my college but it's literally torture for me I swear. I keep having flash back of my childhood all the time, I freeze or just feel like hitting my self. I have anger issues , when I get mad I just want to hit anything, my Body have this urge that won't go away until I hit something. Now that I have a child it's Even worse it's like all memories are trying to come up some are blurry that I am not even sure happened. I get triggered very easily. When my husband yells at our child I loose it on him I become like monster I see all black. Once my son threw something at the tv my husband hit him.really gently on his handds saying no and I lost it was about the fight him he was in shock. How can I get pass everything I just want to heal...
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ptsd
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I haven’t gotten my script filled in almost a month. I switched to this local pharmacy that was out-of-network because it was closer to my house and it looked like a nice place (I don’t mind paying out of pocket because I am part of a small business myself), but in my first interaction with them I was told to transfer my script to a pharmacy that accepted my insurance, and that they were on backorder for my medication for about 3 weeks. Fast-forward two weeks later, I call them again because it seemed that my doctor didn’t allow another transfer and they gave me the same spiel, but now they were a week and a half on backorder.
I am relatively new to this so I am unsure of what actions to take to get my prescription filled without being annoying. ):
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ADHD
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Hi folks!
I got diagnosed about 6 months ago and after a bit of trial and error, found medication that worked for me - Methylphenidate XR 18 gm twice a day (8 AM and 1 PM). It worked extremely well - I got my routine back in order, incredible productivity and quality of focus - the works, basically. However of late the efficacy has been varying wildly. Some days I am like my early days of medication where I can sense my mind quiet down significantly and I achieve a lot through the day. However on others I'm like before diagnosis - PAINFULLY BORED, unable to read more than two sentences, mindless scrolling, and just restless and angsty. The worst part is that after having seen the other side, it feels extremely discouraging. Like I can never win over my mind. It has been more than a week of medication having NO effect whatsoever and I'm at the brink of tears and feeling thoroughly defeated.
I read on this forum that acidic food combinations cause efficacy to reduce. I have mostly been taking my morning dose on an empty stomach. I eat only after 2 hours of taking medication. I even switched my multivitamin tab to evening so it doesn't cause interaction with my med. This seems to work, well. However I can't do this for my afternoon dose (lunch) and I haven't been able to get any benefit from the medicine in the afternoon - which is when my work needs it the most.
Are there ANY suggestions (diet or otherwise) that can work around this? Really appreciate your help.
PS: I'm temporarily taking Lithium every night for a mood disorder
PPS: I am gluten intolerant
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ADHD
|
I came to my psychiatrist to kindly ask if I meet the diagnostic criteria for OCD only to find out that he has diagnosed me already on our last appointment, even though we never directly talked about OCD or possible diagnosis during our meetings (I talked about my intrusive thougths & occasional compulsions and in the beggining of our consultations he said it might be an anxiety disorder, that was pretty much it). I thought I'd have to pass some kind of official OCD test for him to seriously diagnose me and give me a special paper but I guess it doesn't always work like that where I live lol. He also said my case is pretty obvious so it makes sense that he just went with OCD without hesitation.
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OCD
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Like i really dont NEED to do anything, and so my mind just blocks me from dont things because i know it doesnt really matter
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depression
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I (31F) believe I have been misdiagnosed with Bi-Polar II for about 10 years now when really I have ADHD due to my family psychiatric history. I stumbled across some ADHD videos on YouTube and it was like I was watching my own autobiography. This happened about a month ago and it's like my entire world view has been shifted and it's been both positive and absolutely terrifying. I'm in the process of getting a diagnosis, but there's a 6+ month wait time to get an assessment in my area due to covid shortages, etc.
My nesting partner (34M) is the love of my life. I've been doing my best to openly and honestly communicate with him about my mental health struggles since we got together (2 years in Feb). That was a change for me because I tend to not express to anyone in my life how much I'm struggling because it makes me feel weak. It's also really hard because he's a super solid, functional, even-tempered person and I often feel like a mess in comparison. Because of that I've been bottling up a lot of my anxieties surrounding my potential ADHD diagnosis. Last night I finally blurted out "what if I don't have ADHD and I'm just lazy? What if this is just who I am and my life will be like this forever" and then had a breakdown.
He was really sweet and supportive about it. He did his best to sooth my anxieties and let me know that the diagnosis wouldn't change anything for him and he'd still be here. He thinks I'm too hard on myself and says he loves me for who I am, etc, etc.
I woke up this morning really worried that I'm laying too much on him. I feel guilty that I had a breakdown and he had to console me like that. I worry that I'm turning him into a therapist instead of a partner. I don't know how to find the balance. Where is the line with this kind of stuff? Is it reasonable to talk to him about symptoms and anxieties like this or should I keep it to myself more? I'm not sure if I'm freaking out because I've never had this kind of emotional transparency with a partner and it's scaring me or if I really shouldn't talk to him so much about this kind of stuff.
Can anyone offer advice on how to balance this? Some rules of thumb or something so I can know that I'm not crossing a boundary?
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ADHD
|
I don’t understand why people say this? I have noticed it a lot the past few weeks. Why do people say I am smart for being in college? Just because they aren’t? I don’t think that makes me smart. I don’t get it.
Edit: I live in the United States
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aspergers
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It just feels so real, it's like it wiped my memory and filled it with doubt. It's hard to make sense of it and when you try to it gets worse.
:(.
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OCD
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I have PTSD from being in a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship. I've experienced dissociative symptoms in which I feel like I'm a robot or in a dream for some time now, but I recently started experiencing a new one that is freaking me out. I feel as if my memories, particularly of my past relationship, are not my own; when I remember them, they feel like the memories of an entirely different person, like I'm remembering somebody else's life. Does anybody else experience this?
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ptsd
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Ever since i got ptsd my sex game has been wierdly awful, i feel like im out of sync with people I have had Sex with, even people I have had sex with before that has been great, first it takes always me social ability, then my memory and now my sexual performance ugghh, this is so annonying
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ptsd
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# Online Mindfulness Psychotherapy over Skype for Managing Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Intrusive Overthinking without using drugs
​
Mindfulness Therapy provides an effective treatment option for eliminating obsessive-intrusive thoughts and addictive behaviors by teaching you how to work with your OCD thoughts and impulses using mindfulness training and the techniques of Mindfulness Therapy.
One of the primary problems that prevents recovery from OCD is the habit of becoming identified with your obsessive thoughts. We have to break free from this conditioned habitual reactivity.
This is the primary focus of Mindfulness-based Exposure Therapy for recovery from OCD and is what I will be teaching you during our online sessions together.
So the way to break free from those patterns of emotional reactivity that cause our anxiety and that fuel our obsessions is to learn how to form a mindfulness-based relationship with them and to train with those those thoughts and the anxiety. We train ourself to sit with them without becoming reactive.
​
When you can sit with your emotions and thoughts without allowing them to proliferating further, then you are taking away the fuel source that feeds the underlying anxiety that fuels those intrusive thoughts. So learning to sit with your emotions and thoughts is the heart of the Mindfulness Meditation Therapy approach that I teach for overcoming OCD.
​
This approach is very effective and it's very effective because it's very direct. It is about working directly with your emotions. Just talking about your emotions is seldom enough to change the underlying reactivity that feeds your anxiety. You have to change your relationship to that reactivity directly so that you do not become blindly identified with it, blindly caught up in the reactive thinking or in the emotion itself.
​
The more you can develop this quality of objective consciousness where you can maintain your identity as your True Self, the Observer, looking at your emotions and thoughts as objects in the mind the freer you become and the faster the recovery.
​
With training you see the thoughts and the anxiety as simply objects in the mind that you can observe and respond to with compassion. That's the power of this teaching - it frees you, it liberates you from emotional suffering by allowing you to strengthen your perspective as your True Self.
​
[OCD Therapy via Skype](https://reddit.com/link/p6x0io/video/d9b9tad3s5i71/player)
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OCD
|
These 4 days are my personal hell.
29, 30, 31, and Nov 1.
Fake hair and costumes make me gag uncontrollably.
I hide in my room on those days, and prepare carefully what I eat and drink so I don't have to go out to a store or restaurant or fast food joint.
I constantly have to spit in a trash can because Bleh.
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aspergers
|
This isn't for me but my husband. I am having a hard time dealing with his mind and how it works but he finally got some help and we're taking the right steps. But I have a few questions.
Cerebral. At first we thought it was great but the prescribers refuse to give him any ADHD meds even tho he's gone through three different ones and none of them work for his ADHD. On top of it they have charged us 4 times this month and I was under the impression it was monthly not weekly. Anyone else experience this. If so what are better alternatives.
Wellbutrin. My husband's having negative side effects. Not only does it seem his forgetfulness has gotten worse but he's also experiencing very vivid and depressing dreams. It's almost like it's making him depressed as well. I know your not suppose to stop meds cold turkey but again his prescriber is almost impossible to get a hold of.
Any advice will help. Thank you.
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ADHD
|
I'm a lazy, stupid, piece of shit who does nothing but lay around all day. I feel like I don't deserve anything, so I've been skipping meals to just self-loathe and rant because I can't muster up any effort to put my life back together. I stay up until 3am despite having to attend online class from 8am - 4pm.
I feel bad for saying this but the stress of school has gotten to me, and I have so many due assignments that pile up every day. And it feels like every time I complete something, there's always something else. There's always more. I can never rest or take a break, so I somehow came up with the idea of: "Oh, everything here is useless! Let's not do anything productive at all, hooray!!"
I can't even do any hobbies I like because then I feel guilty for wasting my time actually enjoying something.
I've tried reaching out for help before with a school counselor but she just brushed me off saying: "Just make a list of things you need to do then do the most easiest task first" and "You're stressed? That's normal for a student."
And when I try to reach out to my parents, they yell at me that I'm stupid and lazy.
And maybe they're right. I am lazy. I am stupid. Sometimes I just want to kill myself but I can't. Damn it, I'm so self-absorbed that I've decided to rant here instead of trying to improve myself. What the fuck is wrong with me.
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depression
|
(M25) Hi everyone, from about a month ago I had the habit of watching gore content (mainly accidents videos, harming, etc) in fb groups mainly of boredom/curiosity/impresing sense, suddenly I watched a very gross video, just a couple seconds but very disgusting, since then im having a lot intrusive thoughts, not only of that video but most of the other content, they are not precisely flashbacks of the images rather a constant regard of i've watched all of that, like a feeling of guilt and a be aware that all of that exists, it overcomes about 4-5 times each hour so its very hard to have a normal day. For example I watched 1st episode of the Amazon series invincible and I couldn't tolerante the last scene of the episode and since then all this thoughts became more often, im afraid that my life cant come back to normal, im very sensible, I have bad sleep. Anyone is passing by something like this, any advice? Since I was a child I struggled with obesesive thoughts like songs playing in my mind, intrusive memories, etc but happening now is very hard to me.
PD im assisting to cognitive therapy but is not helping very much
My best wishes for everyone in this community
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OCD
|
I’ve posted on here before, but Im Sean, and im a 17 year old aspie. To give a little background, Im an only child. My mom has MS and is almost always in a wheelchair. She can’t work because of that, and my dad makes fluctuating income to make sure me and my mom are taking care of, all while taking care of my grandma with dementia. (Note: Were not poor, but we arent rich.) Knowing how stressful their lives were, I’ve stayed out of trouble because I know they dont need any more shit in their lives than they have.
I’ll admit that Im pretty entitled, and I dont need to be spoiled if I dont want to be. But recently I tried and failed to get a job, and Ive been helping my other grandma out with yard work and helping around my house. I know they feel like theyve spoiled me, but again, just because youre raised a certain way it doesnt mean you have to be that way. Being autistic, I know theyre the only people i really got. How can I do better for them? Im feeling like I havent done anything for anyone, even though I know I have.
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aspergers
|
So, have you ever started to count the unfinished projects that are still lying around but which you do not want to abandon or give up? I have. The score is excruciating.
4 novels
4 card games (design by me)
1 board game (design by me)
1 case made for my brothers board game
1 motorcycle drivers license
And these are just the ones that are currently not abandoned (yet). I really want to become good in designing tabletop games and perhaps even make a living out of it. But there are just too many obstacles that aren't actually there, but you know... ADHD. 2 card games are pretty far done but to actually get them up and running, i need to test it. And i just can't manage to get people together to test those. Also, i would have to start a kickstarter campaign, which is a project on its own.
Anyways, just spouting this here. I'm on track to get new meds (Evanse), maybe those will help a little. Because ritalin sure as fuck isn't doing anything more than give me depressive episodes.
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ADHD
|
I'm a grade 12 international student in canada and I have to apply for universities this year. I stress a lot about my assignments, tests, and my marks.
but every day, I procrastinate for a few hours until I realized that I really have to do my homework. I don't know if it is my ADHD problem, but it's just hard for me to face the reality and do the things that has to be done.
about my concentration problem
as I start to study, do homework, my mind just flows away very very very easily, thinking about games, social media, or even a fantasy world that suddenly came up to my mind. even I had already take medicine, it's still so easy for me to be distracted by my surroundings or my overthinking mind. that's what happened during my procrastination time. after typing a few sentences or a few lines, my mind just flows aways.
more serious concentration problems
I think part of the reason that I easily got distracted is because I don't really like studying and it gives me more excuse to avoid the fact that I have to study.
but what happens is it is also hard for me to concentrate during gaming time. I always think of tons of other stuff when I was playing, for example I could come up with what am I going to write for my next paragraph of my essay, when I was playing games.
it really lowers my efficiency a lot and wasted my time a lot. I could now barely keep up with my assignments and tests
is this really a part of my ADHD, what should I do to get my concentration back
p.s. wow I wrote a long post, thx for looking at my post, and btw are there anyone have the same situation like me
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ADHD
|
Most of the time that I start to experience trauma responses - I feel significantly better with embrace, gentile rubbing or some kind of physical closeness with another person (I had a partner that understood this was important way to co-regulate when self regulation wasn’t doing the trick.)
However, now I’m going through a period where I’m mostly living alone and I no longer have a partner to provide touch for co-regulation. Trying to provide myself touch for regulation is no longer working (sliding hands down arms, self embrace, weighted blanket, etc). I’ve discussed medication changes but nothing we have explored has ever made this feeling change. I have considered devices that stimulate the vagus nerve but the cost is steep.
Wondering if anyone else has navigated this and found a solution. TIA!
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ptsd
|
If something good happens, in your head you know it's a good thing, but no chemicals / hormones / feeling / sensation/adrenaline/ whatever you want to call it, never comes
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ptsd
|
My sister was in hospital for 6 months on the brink of death... that was around 3-4 years ago so I thought I was over it, but today a friend mentioned prolonged hospital visits in a humorous way and I just felt complete fear and dread take over my body. I have ptsd towards other traumatic events from my life but I didn’t realise that my sisters illness still stung so much.
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ptsd
|
I wanted to pray to Gods about something using my thoughts (praying thoughts).
A conversation between my brother and father drew my attention and my praying thoughts continued without me paying attention to them cause I focused on the conversation.
After 30-60 seconds, I started worrying without knowing exactly why. I randomly started worrying that I MAY have messed up my words and kept repeating the same mistaken word more than once, without realising it. That mistake maybe made me look like as if I was asking for something bad.
I cant remember making such a mistake. Maybe it is just an hypothesis just because I was not paying attention to my thoughts.
What if I made that mistake and I forgot it but my subconscious remembers it? What if Gods thought that my accidental prayer was a real prayer just because I kept repeating it in my head more than once? What if Gods thought that it was what I wanted?
Before that, in the past, I have said to Gods that mistakes may happen in my prayers and no matter what I say or think, with or without my will, NEVER ACCEPT THOSE THOUGHTS/PRAYERS and protecet me from them.
I wanted to have a safe rope so I would not worry for similar cases like this. But, what if Gods thought that I changed opinion and that "bad" was something that I wanted? I just could not focus on my prayers. I remember feeling a little anxious but I cant remember making such a mistake. I am not sure if it just an hypothesis or if I really made such a mistake.
I DO NOT WANT ANY OF THESE THINGS! I HAVE EXPLAINED TO GODS MANY TIMES THAT I WILL MAKE MISTAKES WITH MY THOUGHTS, PRAYERS ETC AND NEVER ACCEPT THEM NO MATTER WHAT I SAY! I SHOULD NOT WORRY BUT I WORRY! I AM TIRED OF MY OCD!
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OCD
|
I am a helper of my brother who has ocd. How do i deal with ERS?
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OCD
|
Hello! I have been on adderall for about a month now. I started at 10mg XR which was terrible for me. I switched to 5mg IR twice a day which has been a world difference for me. I am very excited that the IR has been so great for me, but I feel like being on 15-20mg a day would be the best for me. I haven't taken more than 10mg a day, but i have taken them close together and that is when i felt my best. Since i am so new on adderall i do not know how to go about increasing my dose without straight up asking for it.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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ADHD
|
So this is my second time taking this medication. The first time I took it I felt nauseated and I was arrogant so I stopped it right away. I started taking 5 mg this morning and felt nauseated within hours. I’m having trouble eating for days so I’m wondering if it’s an actual side effect, or the fact I am having trouble eating in general or just my anxiety. Anyone else experienced something similar?
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OCD
|
by this i mean basically health anxiety, but with mental ilness symptoms instead of physical symptoms. eg: sometimes i'll catch myself feeling bored and convince myself it's actually because i'm depressed and then focus on that thought so hard that i actually make myself upset to the point where nothing can take my mind off of it. that thought consumes my entire life and makes me overanalyze every second of my life to see if i'm actually numb like i think i am, and that overthinking leads to me tuning everything out and actually making my mental health worse. thoughts like "i feel trapped, numb, like i'm drowning" when i'm either neutral or having a good time always end up making me actually feel those things.
i've been having an ongoing episode with this for the past 12 days or so and it's still as bad as it was the first day
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OCD
|
Any first responders have tips for dealing with this stuff? I'm almost 3 years in as a dispatcher and two critical incidents where I work opened up a lot of things I've repressed.
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ptsd
|
I know what you are thinking of course it is. But wait just a second let me explain. You see I mean when people call me one but doing it more of a joke than actually to be mean. But you see this people don't know I'm autistic and I feel like people already treat me like a reatard. So I get super offended when people call me one because I don't know if they actually believe it are not. But I'm not a mean person so I'm not going to say anything to them. I'll probably just cry about it later but there never know it offended me. And the worst part is I take it so personal and it really hurts my feeling. Maybe I'm just a cry baby. So is it stupid are not?
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aspergers
|
TW// Harm OCD
I’ve had OCD ever since I could remember. Amongst other symptoms, I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, and I’ve had them for a really long time, mainly about k*ll*ng/hurting people. When I was younger, I remember saying “I don’t want to have kids because I’m afraid I’ll hurt them”, and I remember watching a horror movie and telling my mom to make sure I don’t go near the knives because I was afraid I’d hurt someone. This was literally before I was 10 years old, no joke. There have been other instances as well. I’m now 23, and they’ve relaxed a bit for a while, but now they’re back. And it’s hard to explain, but I used to have a full panic response to having those intrusive thoughts. I would cry and get really frustrated. Now, I think the intrusive thought and I don’t feel scared, or anything really. I don’t like having the thought, but I don’t feel as scared as I did. It feels just like a thought. This worries me. Does this mean the thoughts are real now? Does this mean I like them/it’s the way my brain is now?
I am so scared I am going to hurt someone one day. Sometimes I think because I watch so much true crime and I’m so fascinated by it that that means I’m a bad person. I also love horror and have wrote some pretty gruesome horror stories in the past. I always worry when I see a serial killer online and the article about them is like “this person really liked true crime/serial k*ll*rs and gory horror movies” because then I’m like terrified that means I’m like them.
I don’t want to ever hurt anyone. I do have a bad temper, and the other night I was mad at my boyfriend and he was sleeping and I literally just wanted to hit him because I was so mad. It TERRIFIED me, and I want to cry right now just thinking that I ever wanted to hurt him. I don’t want to hurt anyone at all. It’s my biggest fear. (I didn’t hit him, btw, but I really felt like I was going to lose control and do it. It was so scary thinking back on it now).
I do not have a therapist right now because I can’t afford it. But when I was 13 and told my therapist about my Harm OCD, the therapist told my family that I wanted to hurt people, which wasn’t the case. My family acted really concerned and it made me feel even more like a monster. It really scared me. So now even if I do get a therapist, I’m afraid to tell them about these intrusive thoughts that I have. Now I’m an adult so I don’t know what they do when they feel they have to break confidentiality.
Sorry for writing so much. It’s 12:30 AM and I’m up worrying about this. Does anyone else feel like this? Or have any advice? Please no mean/triggering comments!! Also, I hope this post is allowed in this community. I really am looking for advice or for someone to say I’m not alone.
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OCD
|
for starters, i work in a grocery store. as we all know grocery stores can be very loud sometimes. because of my ptsd, loud noises or shouts can really freak me out. i had an issue on sunday when i had another 8 hour shift.
this customer YELLED at the top his lungs to get my attention and after i helped him i went into full blown panic mode. i asked my manager if i could go on break and luckily they let me. it sucks that i cant even go to work without worrying that im gonna have a moment again.
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ptsd
|
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