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Everybody says they feel like they're just generally not good enough. I feel like I'm just not good enough at any of the specifics. Everything I try I'm never good enough. I thought I would be when I was grown up. I am grown up now and I'm still terrible at everything. I can't live being such a useless piece of shit. If I was murdered right now I'd thank my murderer for making room for someone worth living. Nobody needs me to be alive. I can't take this. I can't do this anymore. Everybody seems like they have something they're good at. But nothing I do am I ever good at it. I'm always terrible. But it mostly crushes me that I'm terrible at my passions. I love music but am terrible at it. I love to write but can't write to save my fucking life. I just wish I had talent in SOME area.
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depression
|
It's Father's Day today, it's already noon and I still don't know what to do (because I totally forgot about Father's Day but that's a different story). I could already see the dissapointment in my mom's face when I didn't do anything this morning.
It happens every time. If someone's birthday comes up and I didn't already start searching for a present a month ago I'm going to start stressing out and not find anything. It makes me so uncomfortable, even if I'm the one receiving the present. I just really don't see what's fun about finding random things to give to someone, it's only ever been a test to me, yet another way of not meeting someone's expectations of me.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling really pressurised right now and I had to let it out somewhere.
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aspergers
|
I’m having a hard time finding a resource or book that teaches skills to cope with deficient executive functioning for adults. My searches on Reddit don’t come up with much. I already know about setting timers/alarms and making lists. Is there anything else? I keep hearing that there are exercises or skills to learn. Some of the reviews for these type of workbooks seem to cater to children. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
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ADHD
|
Is it abnormal to have intrusive thoughts about your partner possibly being a pedophile ? Or intrusive thoughts about someone that had no basis in reality?
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OCD
|
Anyone else have a full-blown panic attack when getting a shot as a kid? Not just tears and complaining... I'm talking about screaming and pleading and barely able to breathe? Every shot as a kid seemed like it was 100x more painful for me than how other kids described it. It's painful for everyone, but it just hurt so badly when I was young. Mom had to coach me and hold me so I wouldn't shake too much. The pain was enough to make me want to cut pieces of my arm off. I'd jab pens and pencils in my other arm for days just to stop thinking about it.
I never thought as a child that I would say this, but now, I barely feel shots now. Of course, I'm 40 now, but it's such a difference. It's uncomfortable, but I look forward to getting my flu shot now.
Did this happen to any of you?
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aspergers
|
I feel like a fraud and inferior. Even amongst other autistic people. It seems like a lot of you are able to remain cool headed in a lot of situations. Meanwhile I'm freaking out and having mental breakdowns at my former job and house a lot of times due to not being able to handle all of the yelling and screaming all the time. I got fired because they got tired of me a few months ago. I guess it doesn't help that I'm much lower on the spectrum than others. I wish this didn't happen as daily as it does. I feel non functioning even compared to people here. A lot of people here has accomplished a lot and managed your disability well( with major difficulties of course) Plus I have no freinds at all so that doesn't help either lol. No one wants to deal with me. I'm an embarrassment to do and only useful for their own service or if they need advice. Family members also consider me worthless as well. I don't feel like I'm worth it. Its based on my general lack of functionality in society.
I managed to screw my life over because of myself and now I'm hating every minute of it. I wish I was even haft as functional as you guys are. This sounds like self pitying and it kind of is but I can't help my current emotions and loneliness. These emotions are irrational I recognize and I wish I can move on like a lot of people seem to be able to. Things happen in the past and you can't change it so you just need to move on. The feelings of inferiority even amongst others with the disability is also irrational since its a projection of your self hatred onto others. I know this rationally. But emotionally I'm a mess. I wish I was as cool headed as the rest of y'all are. I can't stand these emotions.
These self pitying and whiney emotions are pointless and in the way but its like my head won't let me let go of all of these things.
Go ahead and downvote.
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aspergers
|
Lets say i have an item that i used 3 weeks ago. And i am in deep fear to touch it again, because i fear that it will make me overwrite the compulsion that i did back in that day. So its basically works like a time machine for seconds in my mind. And i don't like to touch anything else again before i wash my hands. I am not sure, but maybe i read that this is related to existential OCD. Or is it a mix with contamination OCD? Anyone else experiencing this or something similar?
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OCD
|
So I tend to zone out a lot when I’m at work and not paying attention when I should 😬. I often go into my own world and just completely forgot about what’s going on around me. It sucks.
So today I was ringing up a customer and noticed I forgot to bag her groceries (people don’t bag their own groceries at the store I work at unless they insist). She bagged her groceries and walked off after I gave her the receipt. Then as I was about to move on to the next customer, she comes over and says “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day!” very angrily, and all I could say was “oh… I’m sorry…” and she said “you should be.”
I was in total shock and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m really upset.
I’m upset because I could easily get fired for upsetting a customer over not paying attention.
I hate my job, and I’m looking for a new one. I’m so close to having a mental breakdown on the clock.
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ADHD
|
I feel like I have no time to rest, and I have to be doing something at all times to keep my mind off things.
I'm 22F and I graduated in 2020 with a Bachelor's in Speech Language Pathology. I was really into it at the time but reaching graduation I didn't wanna go to grad school, at least not right away.
I got a job as an AT, which I did for one school year. While working, I was enrolled in a MAT program to get certified, which made the job even worse because I felt like they were wasting my time. When my school went on summer vacation, I decided that I needed to find a new job ASAP for many reasons. For one, I HATE being at home. It's crowded, loud, and I have no privacy. I'm very independent, and wouldn't have any trouble getting a place of my own but I need to help out a bit so I can't ATM.
Now, I work with kids with autism implementing ABA strategies to teach them writing, turn taking, self management, how to use their AAC devices, etc. I absolutely LOVE working with the kids, but I'm still second guessing things.
I'm also really passionate about linguistics, which has led me to become a polyglot. I have been doing language exchange and voluntarily teaching English since college. I decided this year that I wanted to teach ESL and enrolled in a TESOL program, which is to be completed next month. Now, I don't even want to do it anymore.
Some company reached out to me about translating for them, which I have now started to consider as well.
I feel like there's so much I want to do, and I get motivated out of nowhere to do it but when I actually get started on it, I lose all motivation to pursue that thing and want to do something else.
I don't really care about making a lot of money as long as I'm doing something, you know? I mean I'm going to hate every job anyway but I just want something passive that is straight forward. I am just so tired and I feel so lonely having noone to talk to about things or do things with.
Does anyone else ever feel like that?
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aspergers
|
I take 30mg daily, but it stops being effective if I take the full dose daily for too long.
Today I took half dose, and I feel awful. Unmotivated, sad, my thinking is foggy and slow. Can't focus or bother with any of my hobbies, or chores.
Is it common to feel like this on a tolerance day? What do you do on your stim vacations?
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ADHD
|
Hi, I’m a 19F who experienced few sexual assaults 2 years ago from my ex (let’s call him G) and this is the first time I’m confessing it to someone.
G and I were childhood friends. We met in 5th grade and basically grew up together (which explains why I trusted him so much).
He always had this toxic trait based on not showing his emotions or feelings except when it was needed.
We had a 1,5 year relationship and never felt comfortable.
G was a really handsome and sociable dude who girls seemed to like a lot which for my 16 years old ass (insecure in my own body and mind due to my marvelous relationship with my father) didn’t help much.
He kept comparing me to models he followed on social media and his ex S.
His friends were absolutely douchebags. They kept joking on the fact that he was still a virgin at 16 (like if age really matter) and how prudish I should be not to want to have sex with this “Apollon”.
I grew up in a very conservative family who didn’t (and still doesn’t) talk about sex, my mom had me at a very young age and I was just not ready to do anything at that time with this dude.
I felt pressured 24/7 by his constant requests. He made me understand that if I didn’t accept he would break up with me and you know... He was my childhood friend, my only friend since he isolated me from my high school ones (who he hated because they were saying that he was an actual bad person for me which was true).
I thought I needed him to stay to be able to live, to be allowed to properly live.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve never felt anything but fear towards him.
I’m struggling with severe anxiety (diagnosed) since the events and no one seems to understand why I always try to ruin it all until any kind of relationships gets too far.
I don’t feel like I deserve to be treated right because it always looks wrong, it always seems like the person will asks me something then.
So I prefer to forbid myself to feel deeper things when it gets too serious towards a person to avoid being hurt again, to kinda protect myself.
Protect myself from people (especially the ones that I date) that could destroy me as much as G did.
I don’t even know if I’m able to feel things (deep attatchment, actual feelings, not wanting to ruin ut all etc.) anymore...
Is this linked with PTSD ? And if yes, how are we supposed to heal from this ? How to let go again ?
NP: english isn’t my first language so sorry for the bad grammar and spelling mistakes .
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ptsd
|
I have been on Intuniv 2 mg for about three months now. I take it in the morning. Medicine works pretty well but the cottonmouth has gotten pretty unbearable lately. I have exams coming up at school and I don’t want to take them super parched and unable to focus.
Has anyone found that taking Intuniv at night instead reduces the cottonmouth? Or some other time of day?
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ADHD
|
So to make a long story short, these last few weeks have been really rough for me and I have been having a lot of flashbacks and fearing for my life for basically nothing. This time of year, I have a lot of trauma anniversaries close together, so it makes sense that I’m really stressed right now. Anyway, I’m in my first year of college and sat down to study for midterms and realized that all the information that I had been studying and practicing for the last 7 weeks is just MISSING. Like I look at my notes and understand none of it, even the most basic stuff. I had to go back and frantically reteach myself everything before my midterm, which I flunked. Im still passing my class but this is causing a whole new layer of stress. My question is, am I experiencing something like amnesia?? My memories from those few weeks are also really hard for me to access; almost like there’s a “fog” or something around them. The thing is, I’ve had memory issues due to the combo of ptsd and adhd for a few years now, but I’ve never had anything this extreme. Im worried that this will happen again and that I won’t be able to catch up in harder classes. Does anyone have any advice?
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ptsd
|
My tie dye phone cases tie dye design is still peeling off and the case is made of rubber. The design peeling off is getting more noticeable and is causing more anxiety and obsessive thoughts and images. I also do not know any ways to prevent it from peeling more. I am so careful using the case that I don’t understand why it’s peeling. How do I keep myself from being triggered by the peeling of the phone case?
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OCD
|
Ok, so hear me out. I don’t really believe in astrology and zodiac signs, but at the same time…i do. I try to avoid seeing posts about it as much as i can because it’s a huge trigger for me, but i can’t escape it with how popular it is.
I’m a scorpio, and my friends will sometimes send me memes of scorpio traits, and it will freak me out how much I can relate. I’ll try to look up traits/memes/whatever of other signs to tell myself “see, that sign is relatable too and these are just super generalized statements!” But then i will look at stuff for other signs and be like “nope, doesn’t fit as well as scorpio!!”. This then leads me into spirals of constantly looking up information to try to learn more about myself and other people based on their signs. It’s stupid, but i feel like i HAVE to.
Even worse i have recently dived into Chinese astrology. This one is different, there are 12 animal signs and yours is based on your birth year. I learned i’m a rat in chinese astrology, and i read that the rat’s enemy sign is a horse. The next year of the horse isn’t till 2026 and i’m already freaking out of “oh no this is going to be a bad year.” Right now we are in the year of the ox, and the rat and ox are supposed to be friends, so i’m like ok i’m safe for now! On top of this my bf and i aren’t a good match supposedly in Chinese astrology. The yearly prediction for my sign and his literally said that as much as we love each other we will just argue and that will break us up. Now i am walking on thin ice with my bf just because this horoscope said this of our signs and it’s like i’m always waiting for things to go bad. This worry then has me constantly looking up the chinese zodiac signs of successful celebrity couples to try to find evidence of what pairs supposedly should and should not be together. I spent 2 hours making lists of this last night. Hours and hours of googling birthdays. I can’t stop.
I also read it isn’t good to marry/buy a house/make any big decisions in your enemy year,so now i’m like “OMG I HAVE TO GET MARRIED BEFORE 2026” but then that gets even more complicated bc i am not engaged currently and my boyfriend’s zodiac enemy year is in 2023, so i’m like oh no we can’t do anything then either or the relationship will fail!!! It’s actually making me miserable. I try to stop thinking about it, but i can’t.
I have other ocd things, like i check my alarms on my phone before bed 10+ times just incase, when my bf leaves for work i have to blow him kisses as he walks away while the door is still open, if the door closes before then it means something bad will happen to him and it will be my fault, etc. I can live with those, but i can’t live with all the horoscope stuff and it is genuinely ruining my happiness.
I really don’t want to be put on medication, and i’m having a hard time accepting i might actually have to go to therapy. Can anyone relate to this kind of specific impulsion?
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OCD
|
I noticed growing up all the girls with autism had boyfriends while all young men in there late teens to mid 20s are incel every support group I go to it's the same dynamic, anybody hereexperienced this,
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aspergers
|
I just received a new book today from Amazon in the mail. I put it right away on my bookshelf and it was shipped in pristine condition. I went to look at the book and noticed a bunch of fingerprints on the back cover. I think this might’ve happened because I didn’t notice that my fingers were sweaty. The fingerprints are really noticeable because the back cover has a black background. I was disappointed because since it’s brand new and I’m really careful with books. Is there any safe ways to remove smudges/fingerprints without ruining the book?
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OCD
|
Hi guys. I have BPD wish obviously is different from depression but, I am legit so sad rn. Everything feels so numb….I lost my person. And now the world feels so cold and grey. I just don’t know what to do…given the fact he wants nothing to do with me or any contact and now is like 2 states away… I’m struggling and I just. Want everything to stop and I just need my person
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depression
|
I used to fight my ocd by making promises to God. Ocd was telling me to do compulsions and I did not want to do them. I could not ignore it. So, I was making promises to God that I wont do the compulsion and I was asking for punishment if I break them, in order to use the fear of the punishment to force myself stop doing the tiring compulsion. Most of these promises were intrusive thoughts. Some of them were uncontrolled but some other, I think I had some control. I did not want to make these promises. They were "fake" promises in order to persuade my ocd to leave me alone.
I explained to God that I do not want to make those promises and that a real promise would count Only if I understand what I am doing, if I mean it and if I validate the promise by doing the cross sign 3 times. I was trying to separate fake promises from the real ones.
There was a time that I was so anxious and ocd was not giving me a break. I made a fake promise to leave me alone but ocd knew the trick of the fake promises and kept bugging me. I was forced to try and mean the promise and tried validating it by doing the cross signs but I stopped at the second time. 2/3. I came to my senses and canceled the promise in the last moment.
I now, worry that I may have been forced by my ocd to validate some more promises and that I may have forgotten them. I probably never validated anything but I worry that I may not be remembering correctly. What if other Gods accepted thoses promises if in case Christian God is not real?
If I validated a promise by doing the cross signs 3/3 and had full control of my thoughts, does that promise count or can I blame it to my ocd?
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OCD
|
A few days ago my psychologist said that I have to find a physical element so that I can use it in managing stress and frustration. So I wanted to ask, does anyone use a physical object to manage their stress? And if so, what is it? is to get an idea. I hope you have a quiet day.
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aspergers
|
I've been working with therapist for years and she really did a lot. She helped me with my phobias, with codependency, with setting boundaries with my parents, with realising what I really want and enjoy in life. But now I'm ending our therapy (and not just because I have to pay for my teeth braces)
The approach to trauma is the problem. I'm really tired and don't want to deal with these things:
* The concept of "you're a survivor, not a victim". Well, I don't prefer to call myself victim, I use the expression "I have experienced X and Y...", but I don't accept the obligation to behave powerful and positive.
* "Yes, you had that traumatic event and it was bad, but only you choose what to think of it" Excuse me. All I can think about my trauma is: it was some horrible shit. It spoiled my physical and mental health and I deal with it daily. Sorry, but it doesn't make me a happy bunny. And I can't even take it calmly and acceptingly. I'm not an emotionless robot.
* I feel like the concept of "living peacefully and mindfully, forgiving and accepting your abusers and trusting the world like nothing happened" is suppressing me. I believe it is normal and natural to feel anger towards the person who hurt you and you can't just bury your emotions. And you can't just blink away your bad experience with certain situations. For example, I know people who chose to stop having sexual life after r\*pe and I think it's completely reasonable and valid decision.
* Therapy nowadays tries to make everything in life a person's choice and it often helps, except when it fails epically in some situations. You don't choose to be abused as a child and you can't react in many ways, you don't choose to be kidnapped/trafficked, you don't choose to be badly ill and you won't be able to feel light-hearted about it. There is misery and pain in the world. It exists whether you think positive or negative and you have to accept it.
* All these things listed don't mean I'm an evil and unhappy person who just chose to stay grumpy and miserable. I have a happy life with loving and caring people around and I'm productive in my favorite job, I communicate with people and enjoy my studies and hobbies, I care for my health. I don't let the trauma ruin my daily life. But I refuse to be hypocritical about normal feelings.
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ptsd
|
Part of my ocd is being very bothered by any bodily imperfection no matter how small and whenever I get a new scar, I become really focused on it and it doesn't stop bothering me how it will never go away. I also notice new body freckles bother me too. How do I stop obsessing over my skin being flawless and needing it to stay that way?
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OCD
|
It’s silly. But. I have no one else to vent to. I feel like my friends have their own stresses and I can’t even approach my boyfriend about it. I feel like my OCD has taken an absolute turn for the worst.
I can’t kick the thoughts. When I try they get worse. More unpleasant. Imagery I didn’t even think my brain could imagine. It’s so scary. Habits and rituals that make no sense. I kick one and it manifests in a new way. And on top of all that I can’t stop thinking about how I’m cursed with this stupid shit and sometimes I don’t even believe I have OCD in the first place, which obviously is me living in denial.
I got dropped from therapy, 7 or so therapists later I couldn’t stop smoking weed and I got refused CBT over it. Now I’m finding that if I don’t spend an entire day smoking, I self harm instead. I don’t want to do these things. But it’s like I have to. I am physically and mentally in so much pain. I just want to finish my final year of university. I turned 21 a week ago. I feel like if I carry on like this I don’t want to be turning 22.
It’s stupid and I feel so guilty even putting this on here. I’m usually the person everyone comes to when they feel shitty. This is probably a moment. By tomorrow I’ll probably feel fine. But at the same time this crap just keeps repeating its endless
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OCD
|
I was in art class and we were making printable stamps with our initials and I jsut finished a page. She came over and asked why it seemed like after every thing I just stopped and she said I looked really tired and unenergetic which i definitely didn’t feel either of those. I told her I found it hard to focus and she jsut told me to get over it or else or I’m gonna fail her course. I haven’t gotten tested yet but I have an appointment booked with a psychologist and I’m 99.9% sure I have it bc I have all the symptoms and it’s genetic in my family. She also randomely asks me if I’m ok during class when I’m jsut staring at the ground and I find it embarrassing and uncomfortable excuse it happens so much and I don’t get why. This has jsut made me depressed and I feel stupid and incapable. (Gr 10 15m)
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ADHD
|
A day I obsess and ruminate about having ocd and now it's gotten to a point where I don't even feel like I know who I am anymore. Every single thing I ruminate over thinking it's part of my ocd or if it's me. It to the point that I am starting to isolate myself again. I feel like I'm starting to go crazy
|
OCD
|
When my wife and I have dinner at home, I hate eating something different from what she's eating. It doesn't feel right and I just can't accept it, to the point that my wife and I may quarrel about it. In extremely rare exceptions I can accept to eat something different, but only if we have no choice. I wonder if it has something to do with AS. Does anyone relate with that feeling? Do you go through anything similar?
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aspergers
|
Hello! I don't use reddit much but I wanted to give it a shot to see if anyone can offer advice or suggestions. My assault happened back in late 2019 and I had a few months afterwards of in-person college before the first major lockdown happened. While I did struggle to keep up with my assignments in that semester, it was more bearable because I didn't really need to see anyone besides my close family since everything was online. Now that I have in-person classes again, I get scared of taking the bus ( I transferred from a community college to a university so longer commute on the bus) and actually attending my classes (a lot more people). It's hard for me to talk to people and whenever I start stressing in general, whether I have exams or not, I get flashbacks from my assault and get depressed. This has really messed me up since my grades are no longer good and now I just feel more pathetic. I use gaming to cope even when I know I should be studying but it's hard to find motivation. While I am no longer su\*c\*dal, my mind starts to wander off to thoughts like "What's the point of this?" or "Will it be worth it?" and no longer have much goals for the future. I've also been wanting to make new friends at my college because my friends attend different colleges, but I find it hard to converse with new people and the assault has made me a lot more shy than I was before.
Any advice is greatly appreciated! Sorry if this post is all over the place, feeling many things lately and its hard to think straight. Feel free to ask questions and I'll try my best to explain better!
(I am also in therapy but my therapist says to make a schedule for myself but it's hard to find motivation to actually stick with it. Regarding the feelings in this post, I only see them once a month and they believe I no longer need sessions since my goals in the beginning were to attend college and they think im coping okay.)
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ptsd
|
Its been a month since this intrusive thoughts started. And it has been affected my daily life. I couldn't function properly. I keep laying on my bed, no appetite to eat, im not really social. Should i get diagnosed? (+Medication)
( I have social anxiety, anxiety, overthinking, dpdr(not disorder) but all of them not diagnosed yet)
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OCD
|
I know Asperger's brains have got more neurons, more synaptic connections and that it creates a powerful engine, but that is a double edged sword. I have to constantly be active, by doing something, listening to music, writing and so on. It's a similar phenomenon with gifted people: We share this neurobiological feature, but I'd rather prefer of having a normal brain, that is less complicated to manage. What do you think about this?
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aspergers
|
So recently I’ve being thinking about what job I want when I’m older and I decided I want to be a doctor but I feel like it’s way too hard with adhd because you need great grades and even when you get in you need to work extremely hard.
But then again it seems like a great job for someone with ADHD because of the high thrill intense part of the job and the hands on action that you can’t get distracted or bored easily by.
Summary: Is being a doctor/surgeon a good job for someone with ADHD
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ADHD
|
Pm me if you want to talk and rant to one another 💕
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OCD
|
Background: I was diagnosed as an adult as having ASD not aspergers. I never told anyone
Sometimes in day to day life it's surprising what presumed NTs will 'get away with'.
Examples
* We can have a conversation that solely consists of me 'interviewing' them, asking questions about themselves, making an effort to add lots of 'why' and 'how', thoughtfully try and create back-and-forth, etc. I am on full effort mode. They don't ask a single thing about me or do a single thing in leading the conversation, not even something extremely basic in the 40mins or so.
* When we are sitting on the same bench and I ask them a reasonable question, and they will simply stare into space a full 5 to 7 seconds. Okay, they didn't hear me. I repeat the question. It turns out they did hear me, and they were thinking about the answer.
* I go to their office to ask them a work-related question. Rather than respond they simply stare at me. Yes, different person from above. I give them a 10 full seconds of staring. It turns out, for this person they were doing it 'as a prank'. I give them a 'what gives' gesture and leave their office. This is one of many pranks. Oh yeah, the other one is they would do a weird anime gesture at me in the hall when they saw me, where they pull down their lower eyelid with their finger and stick their tongue out. What am I supposed to do in response to that?
* We are in a shopping mall together on an outing. They hear a song from a nearby store and hip hop style start dancing. I am just standing there. What am I supposed to do?
* Not five minutes after meeting me, asking me 'what are your dreams?' Not normal.
* At college lecture, I say 'hey, how's it going' and sit down next to them. Rather then respond with 'hi' they seem to mean to say 'hi' but instead say 'aaahhh', a vowel sound, a primitive non-word.
​
Each example was with a different person.
None of these are bad, save for the mean spirited pranks. There are perfectly logical explanations for each.
​
It's just, the problem is I'm constantly being held to a different standard. If I do ANY of these things I will get called the R word. I have been called the R word or 'crazy' or \_\_\_\_\_\_ (weird, eccentric? more polite) for less. I don't call these people unironically-crazy, make comments about their mental state and neither do others. It's this double standard, do any of these while seeming ASD ish the social penalties are high. The everyday masking is exhausting.
​
It would be helpful to consider these people are not NT but based on what I know about them it's unlikely.
​
Does anyone experience feelings like this?
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aspergers
|
21M been depressed as long as I remember. Getting a lot worse. Agoraphobia, social anxiety, suicidal ideation. I don't see a reason for anything. I can't care about anything or feel guilty about everything. I'm so tired and just want the suffering to end but I don't want to hurt the few people who seem to care about me. I just want to sleep
|
depression
|
so I’ve been having the fear of being a pedo (like a lot of OCD sufferers). And something difficult about trying to avoid these thoughts are my logic. Whenever I see another girl of that age I think “you may have not been attracted to others but what if you’re attracted to them?”. So I was wondering, if I fear being attracted to young girls to the point of panic attacks when I have to look at them and breakdowns crying from being so scared. Does that mean I won’t be attracted to any? Or can I be scared of being a pedo around some but still be a pedo to others? Because if being scared around some proves I’m not one. But if it’s the other way around then I’ll never get out of this loop
|
OCD
|
So today I got up a little later than usual, but I mostly adhered to my normal morning routine, i.e. getting up --> stumbling to the toilet --> afterwards washing my hands --> swallowing my wellbutrin --> cooking coffee --> take a seat at my desk with my coffee --> start reading some news .... at this point I usually take one of my Elvanse(Vyvanse) pills out of the bottle, put it right next to the mousepad, and as soon as my coffee has cooled down enough, I pop the pill with a sip of cold coffee and walk to the kitchen to get me some breakfast. Well, somehow I got distracted and now I couldn't tell for sure if I already took the pill, even if my life would depend on it. I remember that I was thinking about getting it out of the bottle, but it could also be that this was the exact moment when I got distracted (by a really cool youtube channel btw) so now I'm sitting here... Already counted the remaining pills but this didn't help either cuz I don't remember when I started the bottle or if I forgot to take one during the last weeks.
Guess I'll have to wait if I start feeling the meds kicking in or not >.< Luckily it's the weekend...
​
EDIT: 2 hrs later, I'm quite sure now that I took it :)
|
ADHD
|
I don’t really have a choice though, ya know? I’m a single parent and I can’t afford therapy. Who knows what I would be like if I wasn’t fucked up.
|
ptsd
|
Ik distraction can be a compulsion, but I’m just trying to stop myself ruminating.
Anything you guys like to do?
|
OCD
|
I’m so angry and so hurt at this. It started because my brother was making fun of how sensitive I am but on the other hand how I make jokes at Christian’s expense. I calmly explained that where we live, Christians are not an oppressed group and satire =/= bullying in this case. He kept on at me for it, how I always make fun of Christians and how I’m so dumb and what have I got against Christians anyways?
And I replied, a little *shocked* “Did no one ever tell you? What happened at Catholic school?” For context I was repeatedly sexually abused and assaulted for *months* by classmates and the head priest basically said he couldn’t do anything because their parents are paying for them to be here and they have such great futures, God meant these boys to do great things. Basically it was about the money.
It was only when I was around 9I was doing dishes with our mother and asked her what rape meant. Needless to say, she threatened to tear that school down brick by brick and put me in home school (along with my brother who was only 6-7).
Now back to tonight: I asked if anyone ever told him why we were taken out of that school. And he just *scoffs* and says “Yeah, I know all about that. But just because some boy groped your butt doesn’t matter. I don’t care about it.” And I was fucking floored. It wasn’t a simple case of butt grabbing on the playing field. It wasn’t just bullying. And not only that, our grandmother is a horrible Christian! She would hit us if we said “I swear to ___” because it was blasphemous. He idolises her, says she taught him discipline. She verbally and emotionally abused me telling me I was going to burn in hell and she’ll always love me and the only things that I could do to make her stop were to be a blasphemer and/or a homosexual. She said this when I was SEVEN.
This wasn’t THE incident that warranted my ptsd diagnosis but it is a traumatic one that has shaped how I think and feel and act. And to have my own brother - whom I’ve always tried to support and love even if I didn’t agree/think it was a good idea - tell me he doesn’t care. He never did. It hurts so much and now I can’t feel I can trust him with the root of my ptsd. He’ll rip me apart.
“Good thing you didn’t join the military, they’d do that to you all day!”
“You’re so weak, how am I related to you”
“You’re so sensitive, good thing you didn’t join the military like I’m going to”
“You think *THAT’S* trauma? Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to join the military and got rejected?”
He’s never said most of this but it’s what I fear I will inevitably hear. Talks about the military like one talks about a god or a fetish. And he’s going to be moving in with me in my tiny little one bedroom cottage so he can join the British Commandos after the American marines rejected him.
Like it said on the tin, this is a vent. An angry and confused and betrayed vent. I didn’t know where else to put it. My brother stole my journal and threw it in the river a couple days ago so that’s 10+ years gone. I usually write this kind of thing in there.
Full disclaimer, I have nothing against Christians or Catholics. None. But from where I’m standing, a joke about a random scene in the Bible isn’t even punching down - it’s not punching at all. Not like one sarcastic comment could damage a whole massive religious group.
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ptsd
|
My intrusive thoughts started around the same time I completed a semester long weightlifting routine. I’ve read the lifting heavy weight changes the nervous system. Ever since lifting I’ve noticed I have an aggressive component in my mind, and take small setbacks much harder and get angry or feel the urge to fight. Also, my intrusive thoughts feel connected to that aggressive power. I never thought about these memories until I developed OCD (while being depressed) - diagnosed BTW - which started after the lifting semester.
Could lifting have changed my CNS and given my brain that ability to “fight” with itself, or otherwise brought on my OCD? Is there any precedent?
|
OCD
|
With Marvel’s Loki, What if…?, and new Spider-Man: No Way Home (spoilers btw) do you think OCD makes you feel more impacted by the events that happen in them? Like, the finale of Loki ends in the multiverse happening and it almost gave me an existential crisis thinking about it/it’s implications. Same with the What If…? scenarios and the new Spider-Man trailer. Is it just me or an OCD thing?
|
OCD
|
I used to be such an extroverted people person when I was little but through the years I’ve gotten so introverted and awkward. I get so depressed because I can’t form relationships because my conversational skills are in the ground and that I think that depression is one of the causes of my bad people skills. It’s all one giant loop and i don’t know how to stop
|
depression
|
Amazing is all I have to say so the feature overlays whatever sound is on your phone music or whatever with a sound of your choice at a volume of your choice so what I did was started overlaying it over white noise so combined the sound of a constantly running stream with white noise and quite frankly my head couldn’t feel clearer.
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ADHD
|
TL;DR
Hey all,
I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression. My anxiety improved a lot once I got the ADHD diagnosis and started meds. The past couple months it has been pretty awful again.
I currently take Adderall 20mg, Sertraline 150mg, and Ativan 0.5 as needed. At my last visit, my psych and I increased my Sertraline (from 100-150). It’s been a few weeks and I haven’t seen any relief.
I am always hesitant to increase my Adderall, but I’m wondering if that might help. The issue is that I sometimes struggle to know if my anxiety is from my anxiety, or if it’s a result of overstimulation/racing thoughts relating to my ADHD. I have also considered trying a non-stimulant, or a medication like Buspar.
Does anyone have any insight or advice in regards to managing anxiety and also distinguishing between that and ADHD symptoms? I do therapy weekly, keep a bullet journal, and do tarot readings which is like meditation for me. I love running which helps me a lot, but I have chronic pain so I can’t always do it.
Any support or advice is much appreciated! I am anxious every day for more than half the day. It is so severe it’s making it hard to not fall back on less healthy coping skills, but I want to avoid that. Thanks for reading.
|
ADHD
|
I'm fairly certain I have depression I just don't know what type, Ive noticed over the past few days while being back home I've been more miserable, not having an appetite, just wanting to sleep all day and generally just the normal symptoms of depression which confuses me as I was recently at my bfs for a week and was fine, I was happy and my mood was overall positive while there.
The only difference I noticed was the weather, where my house is its dreary and depressing, constant grey clouds and cold, where my bf is it was a bit cloudy with some sun, it was still cold but the weather there was sunnier than here.
So I'm just wondering if its seasonal depression or if I'm over thinking it
|
depression
|
So I've always felt like I was a bit of a screw up. I've spent almost my whole life as an anxious and depressed mess, but life offered me no breaks, I had two marriages go bad, lots of general misfortune, didn't go back to school because I was bad at it, but at least did okay enough at work to get middling jobs that let me live a normal-ish life.
Then in early 2020 (like two months before covid-palooza) I met an amazing woman with 2 boys, and my life changed big time. Fast forward a bit, and I decide I need to make more money to help my new family have a better life, so I go back to community college.
I had 3 classes, nearly flunked one because I misread due dates, and BS'd my way through the other two because I'm a skilled writer when I try. I'm a freakin' office professional! Why am I struggling with easy college courses??
At the same time I was trying to figure out why her 10 year old was the person he was (pretty reminiscent of me as a kid, but very soft and privileged as opposed to the feral child I was), and I started seeing more ADHD postings from people I follow on social media. And these posts were a little *too* relatable.
So I started researching, a lot. And by "research" I mean "watch tons of YouTube videos on it and scroll though social media because reading is physically painful sometimes." Figured out I had ADHD and always have, and the 10 year old has ADHD worse than I ever have. I wanted to better understand it and get treatment myself so I could help him, and make sure he doesn't struggle like I have.
Saw a psychiatrist, talked for a bit, and got the diagnosis I knew I'd get. She prescribed Adderall at the minimum level, and I was told to step up my dosage each week til I hit a dosage that works for me. I have the tolerance of a horse thanks to my out-of-work-linebacker physique, so it took me a few weeks to get there.
But I did. Things started to feel a bit sharper, I started drawing and doodling again for the first time since middle school, and I made a tabletop game in 20 minutes to entertain the fam, which turned out to be stupid fun, a concept that hadn't been made before, and I made a full prototype of it just 4 days later. Now I need to playtest the hell out of it with people, then get some simple artwork and photoshopping done, and it'll be off to Kickstarter!
I get married to the love of my life next year, I get to be a step dad to two boys that really like me, I live in an actual home that's ours, things are going well at work, and everything is looking up.
Getting an ADHD diagnosis was like a giant breath of fresh air. Suddenly I wasn't some unlovable, weird, awkward screw up, but there was a medical reason that no matter how hard I tried I would always make a mess of things.
But knowing there's a problem means knowing there's a solution. After only one month on medication things have already drastically improved. I don't actually feel much different, but my fiance says I'm more focused over all, my work has been more consistent, and my dormant creative juices are flooding back attempting to fill my long empty reservoirs.
If you think you might have ADHD, at least talk to your doctor about it. I don't care how old you are, it's never too late.
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ADHD
|
If the family is together (mom/dad/brother) my daughter seems to get worried about feeling left out. She will see the family together and get really worried about everyone being “happy” without her. But she doesn’t say this to us or say it at the time. She just stands and screams on and on while standing completely still. She does this with a blank expression and the scream doesn’t change sounds I guess. It’s just like she has this horrified expression and isn’t looking anything specifically she’s just looking right past people screaming “AHHHHH” and not stopping but she stands still while doing this. It seems out of her control. Could this be autism? I myself have adhd. I am not sure what could cause her to react like this.
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aspergers
|
I admit, I often feel towards woman my age or older. I often force myself to think about it (not sexually) in response to Homosexual or pedophilic intrusive thoughts. I have done this a lot recently to feel like I am keeping tight control over my orientation. I constantly fear that if I don't pushing away those Intrusive Thoughts, that I will have control over my orientation forcefully taken away. Does anyone else face a situation like this?
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OCD
|
Basically what the title says.
I got diagnosed with OCD at the end of last year. I was supposed to start Anafranil last year but was having seizures so held off for awhile. Once I got the seizures under control I started it. I was on 50 mg for about two month and noticed absolutely no difference.
I am off of it now and looking to try something new. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a couple days and looking for a couple meds I might ask him about and was looking for suggestions. I know everyone reacts differently to different medications but just wanted some opinions.
Anafranil is the only one I’ve tried so far so I have a lot of options as of right now. I currently was thinking about mentioning Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil.
|
OCD
|
Hi I keep having obsessive compulsive thoughts about the event and will get into modes where I can’t stop thinking about things and just lose a bunch of time invested in this. Is there a good way to snap out of it or stop the obsessive thoughts? I had a ptsd panic attack a week ago and it triggered an episode. I feel like the episode is dulling out now but I still have to deal with this. Thanks.
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ptsd
|
About a month ago we kicked off /r/CPTSDNextSteps, a community aimed at those in the intermediate and late stages of recovery from CPTSD. /r/CPTSD has had a persistent tension between newcomers who are blasting out their newly-discovered trauma, and people further along who are ready for more constructive, focused, and nuanced conversations about recovery. We have finally created a community specifically for those people, and our first pages of content are very promising, so please stop by!
We are also running a community project to create a FAQ, answered by people in the community itself. We've filled out many questions, and you can find the threads [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDNextSteps/wiki/faq) Here's some of the topics so far:
* Anxiety and CPTSD
* Depression and CPTSD
* Should I forgive my abusers?
* What types of therapy have worked for you, and why?
* What have your experiences with insomnia been, and how have you been able to alleviate it?
* Who are your favorite YouTubers that help you heal?
* Is being tired a part of recovery?
* What books do you recommend for recovery?
* Have you had issues with memory, and have you been able to fix them? How have issues with memory affected your recovery?
* What spiritual/religious practices have been useful for you?
* "I feel like I'm regressing."
If you're curious about CPTSD itself, check out [this wiki page.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/faq)
Thanks for your time, and thank you very much to the mods of /r/PTSD for letting me post this here!
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ptsd
|
I've been struggling with a terrible false memory for the past week or so, and I confided in someone close to me just to get it off my chest. Their reaction ended up being "What, you think you did XXX????" which has only made my anxiety a thousand times worse and making me start to question if I truly did what my false memory claims. I think I'm spiraling, someone please tell me that it gets better at some point
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OCD
|
I had an outbreak at my parents' house, I always wanted to work things out ... but they never called. i had an outbreak and "broke" some things .. actually i just got hurt, my dad came running and started hitting me and my older brother (18 years old asperger's) came to my rescue, i thought i would die .. my Dad was hanging me and didn't want to stop. my brother judged me a lot after I had the outbreak. like I want to try to work things out, but my mom doesn't care ... my dad already hit my mom too, he is aggressive and thinks that hitting is the solution. I just was born in the wrong place.
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aspergers
|
I've had depression for at least a few years and my "lowest lows" always look different. Well I'm there right now and I don't know who to talk to.
I'm graduating college soon, my few friends've already graduated and I really don't have friends near me. I see a therapist weekly, but I'm not making any progress and while it's nice to talk to her for that hour, it's mostly me wallowing in self-loathing. Looking for new therapist. I'm close with my parents but I can't tell them about this stuff constantly. I had a close friend for a few months, but I can't contact them anymore. Hardest of all, my sister used to be my confidant and she could always help me forget for a while, we talked frequently but she also has depression and she sleeps most of the day. I go days without hearing from her and she makes me really worry, and I just miss her. She used to be the only person I texted and now I don't even have that.
I feel so beside myself. I used to think I could get out of this depression eventually. I don't know how to make new friends because my critical voice has taken over my thoughts and actions, it's exhausting to talk about depression and I don't want to do it but I kind of need to. But I don't want to emotional dump on *anyone.* Sometimes I feel my own miserable company is all I deserve.
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depression
|
Is this common? Some NTs can look beyond my ASD to see me, and those who do act like I'm their best friend. Those who can't... well, *they* act like I kicked their puppy and treat me accordingly.
|
aspergers
|
Im 28 and been depressed ill say most my adult life. least since i was 17 as far as i can remember. it seems to worsen as i get older. I cant imagine if im here at 40 the wreck my mind will be in. Is there anything I can do? I need get back in physical i know for one.
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depression
|
This might seem pretty strange but as a newly diagnosed person with ADD, I'm re-evaluating all my medical stuff and wondering if it's under the same umbrella.
When I am asleep my partner tells me I shake violently but never wake up. I'm not talking about the general "I'm falling asleep and jerking awake", but more of a strong shiver that last awhile. Part of the crappy sleep I usually get.
Does this happen to you? Is it a known ADD thing? I'm unmedicated currently (working on it).
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ADHD
|
I've been on it for over 2 weeks now, and it's actually really good for me, as I've gotten a lot done now that I had been putting off for YEARS. But it didn't really feel like it was actually motivating me to do these things, but moreso making feel very uneasy when sitting down and doing nothing/browsing Reddit/playing video games. These things would usually be enough to get me through a day, which is really bad long-term of course, but now I actually start feeling kinda restless when I'm not doing something of value.
Maybe not a revolutionary post or anything, but I think it's at least somewhat interesting.
|
ADHD
|
I have memory loss from ptsd, and I so badly want to remember everything that happened.
I feel like I'm always second guessing myself on what happened, and if I was the one to blame, and I feel like remembering may help me.
Does anyone know any steps to take towards remembering the past? Any advice is welcomed.
|
ptsd
|
The biggest problem with my OCD is how it changed my world. I was so happy in the beginning of lockdown but my OCD affected that and everything including the relationships with my family and my friends and plain talking to people just changed because of it.
Right now I'm doing a hell of a lot better, which saying that would cause more pain. But I'm genuine, as I came to the realisation that since my thoughts were thoughts and nothing more, they don't have impact on my world and things I cherish, and so my life which I thought was paused was basically re-entered again. And man what an amazing moment. I was finally free. However, just because I was happy still meant my OCD wouldn't have changed and I'd still get intrusive stressful thoughts, which is okay. But my world came back to me and I was ready.
Because my OCD had effected my life I was depressed for half of last year and half of this early year. It was pretty agonising and soul crushing and now I'm thinking about how did I even survive. It didn't help how I have my own social/political views that I think even people before 2020 had, and that attitude was lost once cancel culture became such a massive thing to a point where Twitter became one of the worst platforms ever because of the woke babies inhabiting it. Has anyone felt like this? Their world changing around them? I was pretty aware of my world changing because I was kicking the hell out of myself for an intrusive thought of me being a narcissist. Which wasn't even true but I was tortured by, one of my earlier OCD times.
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OCD
|
Honestly this is just a rant or a vent… i don’t really have a support system besides my therapist to talk to and I’m just having a really tough night.
I’ve lived with depression for 11 years. I don’t say I “suffer” from depression because it’s been so long and it’s all I know so it’s just what it is. A year ago I got diagnosed with adhd as well as officially diagnosed with depression and put on medication (hello the sweet angel that is Welbutrin). From April until start of November I seriously felt like I had beat it. With exception of the odd depressive episode lasting 1-3 days that constant depressive background hum was gone! I was in the best mental space I felt like I had ever ever been in. On top of the world!
Cue season affective and a breakup and I’m now a month into a depressive episode that is all new territory. I’m so fucking low but not having suicidal ideation like I usually do and it’s fucking with me.
I’ve never been this disabled. Ever. I’m usually a messy person (adhd) but I just can’t clean my apartment. I have 3 week old dishes in the sink. It fucking stinks but I just can’t. I even thought of hiring a cleaner to come deal with it. I’m a total exercise and fitness and outdoors addict but I haven’t exercised in a month. For the first time ever I went 5 days without a shower because I just couldn’t find the energy. I can’t eat, I’ve lost 12 lbs 2 weeks (I haven’t weighed this little in 10 years). I can’t sleep. My job involves interacting with people who depend on me and they expect my usual upbeat bubbly self but the mask is getting so hard to wear and I’m so tired. I need time off work but I can’t financially afford to and I don’t have any type insurance or sicks day to cover time off.
I feel totally incapacitated. Im struggling. I’m miserable. I’m ashamed. I’m scared. I’m disappointed. Im tired of this. It’s been long enough. I’ve done my time. Just let me have a normal fucking brain.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
|
depression
|
Hi I am a 27M with Asperger's I have noticed over time talking to people I often get misentrepted or get different reactions that I expect, I think I have a monotone voice and most people quickly stop listening to me as being monotone and pack using range in my voice, I have since tried practing using range and recording myself, when I do it I feel very fake and not naturual and I also think comes off and looks cringey sometimes and can look arrogant sometimes, all this I think is because of my asperges, it doesn't come naturually but definately want to improve this as it impacts my relationships and social skills massively, I find when I am naturually in a good chirpy mood I sound more natural, maybe it is a case of trying to feel emotion more as I feel I have become quite surpressed/stiffled.
I feel as though my default speech is like kind of monotone low energy and that is kind of it, I find it is useful conveying or telling someone something or about something and that's about it, should I see a voice therapist?
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aspergers
|
Currently i cant talk to anyone for now, i have zero social life so i only have online friends but... I feel like im draining them from my rants. Im new here because of this reason, i have no one to talk to and my only coping mechanism is cutting my wrist and thighs.
These emotions keeps me away from doing anything productive (like modules and drawing) all i can do is harm myself and maybe clean the house to avoid harming myself.
My parents doesn't believe in mental illnesses so im not really clinically diagnosed with anything and I've never been to any therapist, i know self diagnosing is bad but can i really find an alternative for therapy? Or maybe a different way of coping?
Ps: my parents know my scars, but they turn a blind eye to it and say that im just doing it because its a trend or something and they just confiscate my gadgets whenever they see it...
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depression
|
I used to have very bad contamination ocd because of sexual trauma but I thought I was "cured". I haven't had regular compulsions in years, and I was able to control my intrusive thoughts. I've had a situation with an ill person recently that triggered both my sexual trauma and my contamination intrusive thoughts. I feel disgusting and I need to clean everything around me all. the. time. I can't sit or touch anything in my own house. I need to shower because I feel physically gross but I'm also grossed out by the shower because this person uses it too. My room is my only safe space and I still deep clean it every day.
I have to live with this person and they're not particularly hygienic. I can't even be near them. I thought I was cured but this nightmare is back again. Sorry for the vent, I figured only you guys could understand.
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OCD
|
F16 I have struggled with depression my entire life, but what always helped me was thinking about my loved ones and how much it hurt them if I were to suddenly pass away. These people have moved on barely talk to me anymore. They no longer need me. I am barely in touch with my family, I haven't spoken to my father or brother for years, I have nobody to talk to. I have a few school friends, but they're not interested in me; they just talk to me because they have no one else to talk to. The feeling of loneliness is excruciating and it is killing me, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot get close to anyone. Why is everyone leaving when I haven't done anything wrong? What else could be the problem if not me? There is no point in living a life that is so fucking boring. I no longer need to be here because I am no longer needed
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depression
|
Is anyone else diagnosed with Pure O OCD and feels like they’re lying because it doesn’t manifest like “regular” OCD?
I am 20 and my first two diagnoses were Bipolar II and “Pure O OCD” when I was 16. No one believed it, and I didn’t have the strength to fight it (also didn’t want to tell my family what was actually going on inside because duh, that’s kinda how it works). I’ve had about 4 different psychiatrists and 8 different therapists since I was 13, without counting the ones assigned by the hospital, and I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, Severe Depression, GAD, BPD, ADHD, soooo many things. The only thing that has been consistent is Bipolar II and now OCD. It feels full circle that this psychologist finally put work into asking the right questions and I finally was in a good place with my other conditions to open up about this, which I consider to be my biggest struggle somehow. I sobbed when she said it because I’m so scared of telling someone that has it and for them to think I’m another faker, or tell someone close to me and for them to think it’s another one of those wrong diagnoses I’ve had throughout the years that I overly identify with. I don’t feel like it’s as bad as the people around me who have OCD with compulsions, even though it’s really bad. It makes me feel really guilty to admit to thinking I have it for that reason. When I was 16-17, I tried CBT and exposure therapy and it felt even worse. My therapist now wants me to go into specialized care and try a more intensive exposure therapy with her. I’m doing it because I’ve dealt with this for at least 13 years and I deserve a break, but I wish I could ask for support without feeling like no one will believe me, that I’m just pretending for attention, or that within a week I’ll change my mind. I was just wondering if anyone else felt similarly. It would help to know. I also get a lot of comfort from sympathizing with people. That’s all. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe.
P.S. my therapist actually got excited to learn more about OCD with me to be able to help me and I thought it was really cute haha. I love people like that.
Edit: I’m also wondering if anyone with Pure O has some rituals that don’t seem as restrictive and harmful as with other people with OCD, but that are still slightly towards that direction. (For me it’s that if I move three times when I’m about fall asleep I won’t be able to sleep the whole night and my body will start to get itchy and I will obsess over it for the rest of the night. I also need to get up and check all my doors even if I’m falling asleep and that makes the first one even worse sometimes, but I think that’s the PTSD)
|
OCD
|
Ive been in 2 severe car accidents in the span of 8 months. I am so tired of being in a car when someone else drives and being completelty tense, over analyzing other cars. i cant breathe when someone else is driving. its been so exausting. i dont want to have panic attacks every time i am not driving. ive tried breathing exercises, everything. and the thing is the drivers are never driving bad, they are very safe but i cant help but to pick out tiny things that are wrong
|
ptsd
|
I got medicated last wednesday. First day on meds I didn't manage to go to school, but instead I did my dishes, laundry, washed my floors and cleaned up my whole bathroom. Yesterday not only did I manage to write a list of my long-neglected commissions and other work stuff I should have done weeks ago, I managed to *do* half the list once I got home from school. And then spent the rest of the evening working on a comic script.
It's like I've gotten two extra hours in a day, and I know those two or even three are hours I'd have otherwise spent laying in bed, trying to bully myself into getting up and going to do things, not managing to muster the mental energy to do so. Whoever came up with the analogy of spending hours of your day trying to start a lawn mower - you still exhaust yourself by putting in just as much effort as someone who can start theirs on the first try, but the lawn remains the same.
Having been up and about much more than I previously have, I woke up at 5:30 to my lower back aching this morning. I didn't have an alarm before 8 am (yeah I know), but after *two days* of managing to actually go to sleep at a reasonable time, it didn't feel like a problem to get up, pick up the kettlebell I've been neglecting for a year or two, and do some stretches and exercises.
It's now 7 am, I'm showered, dressed, taken all my meds and had breakfast, and instead of laying in bed for one more hour, I'm going to draw some commissions that I still have on my to-do -list. Actually managing to *do things* when they need to be done has cleared up so much mental energy, I feel like I did that time I randomly got into minimalism and purged a huge amount of clutter from my apartment.
Fuck, is this the way that some people live *naturally?*
|
ADHD
|
I (24M) started seeing this girl (20F) a week ago, we met on an app. We've met up a couple of times and have really great chemistry. But it's also exam time for her. I know she's stressed. I know it's a bad time for dating. But I can't seem to stop bringing myself to text/snapchat her every day. We agreed we'd go on a proper date once my work and her exams are over in a couple of weeks, but I work from home and have ADHD so it's very easy to get sidetracked by thinking about talking to her. She's said she doesn't mind, but you and I both know it's very easy to overthink a situation. I'm terrified that this is going to kill our chemistry, and she'll want break it off with me. I live alone so it's very easy to feel the sort of solitude that can lead to firing off a message.
Does anyone have any tips/mental tricks to keep themselves from overdoing the contact while dating? I'm talking literal mnemonics/catchphrases to remind yourself. She's worth the self-improvement.
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aspergers
|
Well here goes I’m going to be brief and very detailed as possible ,I’m 26 female and I don’t know if it’s pocd or the real thing .okay so for starters I do suffer from anxiety and sometimes depression from as far as I can remember,I’ve dealt with bizarre thoughts in the past ,such as intrusive thoughts.I remember reading something about an high profile person getting caught up in cp and that made me start thinking about should I watch cp?.what is cp?.but I quickly realized that is something I didn’t want. To do and it was wrong .I’ve been watching porn since I was 11.it was normal porn but over the years I started watching different types But I have never watched CP.and don’t want to.i have never looked or touched an child sexually or thought about them in that way.I love kids I’ve always dreamed of being a mother,but sometimes I used to be nervous of the future like would I be a great mom or what if I abuse my child ?.different things .but fast forward when I used to masturbate I always think of celebrities who are 18 .but I never thought it was an problem because I would think it would be fantasy and that I wouldn’t actually do it in real life .and I have been doing this for 2 years now .but I noticed that when I’m near my god kids I start having thoughts like what if I touch him ? Or should I touch him but I always dismiss it and move on and feel bad afterwards because I have never thought about any kids that way.so fast forward 2 weeks ago after I masterbated .I was watching a documentary or something and it triggered me thinking I was an p and I start feeling guilty of all the things I’ve masterbated too and I have thought some stuff I’m not proud of .but it was like it was sudden and I couldn’t sleep And it was like it just kept replaying in my head to the point I started crying and overtime it subsided but I keep having these thoughts convincing myself I’m a p and yesterday I was near my godson and a thought popped in my head saying touch him touch him it was like an urge but I resisted and I feel so bad because i love kids and now I don’t want to have any and I feel like killing myself I don’t know where these thoughts came from all of a sudden and why I couldn’t fight them off .I came across a photo of a preteen girl and while I was looking at the photo a thought popped in saying picture her in a bra and I immediately got disgusted and scared.I’m just on autopilot I’ve been googling and googling and just don’t know what to think .I’m just tired
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OCD
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Sometimes I have visions of my life in review. After being diagnosed late at 40, these have been coming more and more. Like every little situation where I couldn't understand how people could misunderstand me SO much and SO consistently.
Does anyone else feel like this? Like this is that last minute twist, that makes you see the entire movie in a new light that makes a LOT more sense than the first time around?
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aspergers
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It’s hard to accept but I know it’s the only way forward
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OCD
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Guys, i yust wanna silence my head and live the moment but i get a lot of bad thoughts about my self and im going trough this depressing loop:( i dont know what to do😔
Im sorry if my english its bad… its not my motherlanguage.
When i was young adhd was a escape from boring stuff but now i yust wanna be in the moment
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ADHD
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Before my boyfriend committed suicide he started a fight. He accused me of something I didn’t do. He criticized me for not doing something right and for not listening when he said he made what he said up. Now.. anytime someone criticizes or blames me for something I get super angry. I see red. I spiral into a bad place. I get mad at everyone and I’m ready to just end it all again. I’m ok now but this sucks. I’m different now, I can’t just shrug off blame and criticism anymore it takes me back to that place every time.
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ptsd
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**I am not a mental health professional. Please don't take anything I say too seriously!!**
Has anyone tried trying to purposefully obsess about something that you know is unrealistic, while you are having an OCD attack?
For example, last night a worry about checking the door came to mind. I tried to bring to mind another possible worry that I knew was unreal, something to the effect of "maybe I knocked over the shelf on my way back from the bathroom and my partner will fall over it". I tried to make myself obsess about this in the usual ways I would obsess about something. All the while I knew that it was not realistic and it never caused me anxiety. My worry about the door went away.
Have you ever tried anything like this?
Edit: In retrospect the shelf worry wasn’t a good one, because it is something I can imagine myself obsessing over. If I were to try it again it would be something far beyond what I would obsess over.
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OCD
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I made a post a whole back looking for advice to remind myself to drink water. I recently found a water brand called Liquid Death, it's a canned mountain water that actually tastes good to me. It stimulates my taste buds and it's so good. The can keeps it colder than a plastic water bottle would, and I highly recommend it if you have issues like mine with water. And if you prefer fuzzy drinks, it comes in sparkling. It's not flavoured but the sprakling helps with the texture for some people
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ADHD
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Throwaway account
I'm male, straight, and 16. I was diagnosed with autism when I was a toddler, but only about a few weeks ago have I started to realize that I might have POCD. It all started when I began to focus on these weird urges I was having toward young children, mostly tiny girls, and would usually try to shake or get them out of my head and move on with my day.
But in the last month, these urges and thoughts just sort of reached a boiling point in my mind, where they wouldn't stop coming into my brain. A youtuber in a video I watched a long time ago said that "if you let these thoughts fester, they're gonna become predatory". I happened to remember that exact quote and was scared that I'd be a p**o in the near or far future. I even started thinking about amputating my own p*nis and/or about grabbing a knife and ending it.
Prior to this, I wanted to have a family when I was maybe thirty or thirty-five, but I don't feel comfortable being in a child's presence at all.
In the midst of this was when the worst came: I stumbled upon CP (or was it?) one night while watching porn. (I've since been trying to stop the habit) I mouthed to myself "what the fuck?" and clicked out of everything on my phone. I prayed, begged with God, and eventually just went to sleep with my parents after I told them what happened. They replied that as long as I didn't go looking for it, I was fine. But the memory of the image still remained in my mind.
I started googling, came across the topic of intrusive thoughts, and then arrived at POCD. Before this, I was panicking, shedding tears and getting no sleep, at the thought that I might be a predator.
Nowadays, I get anxious at the thought of going to an event where children will be at, and I've since formed a habit of forcing the anxiety/fear/horror into my body, hoping to override the arousal (sometimes, I get aroused by an attractive woman and then suddenly turn to see a little girl, and then I'll get confused as to whether I was aroused by either the child or the woman) and find self-reassurance that I'm not a p**o because I felt negatively about these thoughts. I've even started to flinch partially on purpose whenever I see a little girl just so I can stop the (false?) arousal before it even starts. Other times, I have a few hours of solace and peace, especially when I'm alone or writing a chapter, before the thoughts start up again. Sometimes, I'll even be able to relax around children if I've been around them long enough.
But whenever I wake up in most mornings, I get the sporadic thought of children along with an erection, and I just don't feel like fighting it and surrendering to that side of my brain because I feel so exhausted in the morning. I still try to resist by doing the aforementioned habits, and ultimately end up masturbating to an image of an attractive woman to nullify the "attraction" to children.
In the last two weeks, I've been seeing a therapist, but it's primarily for anxiety - my parents' thoughts on the topic. I know the difference between the false arousal I get around children and the genuine arousal I get towards women. But, the topic of OCD or POCD hasn't ever popped up in the words of either my therapist or my parents. I'm probably the only one who thinks this is that. I feel isolated and misunderstood.
I'm now starting to wonder if this is the result of not seeing other teenagers my age for around a year and a half due to quarantine.
So, my question is: is this only the beginning of p**ophilia, or is it POCD?
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OCD
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tl;dr:
My boyfriend is frustrated with his inability to finish or stay hard and I want to help however I can.
Greetings! Long time reader, first time poster.
My (35/F) very new boyfriend (36/M) has been recently diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive). As a fellow ADHD-er, I've been following this subreddit for a while and know that difficulties with sex can be very common.
We've gotten naughty a handful of times, maybe 5, and he's never been able to finish, or sometimes stay hard. I literally **do not care**. I know it's not about me, etc. But he clearly feels frustrated and maybe a little embarrassed. Big dramatic sighs, miming punching his dick (a phrase I never thought I'd say), yada yada.
We've visited a variety of techniques, durations, and destinations.
Hands, mouth, hoohah. Lots of positions. Making out. Taking breaks. Long sex. Short quickie sex. We haven't ventured into anything too kinky yet.
My goal here is support. Whether that means helping him finish or just feel better about not finishing. I guess I want to know if y'all have any pro tips that I just haven't considered yet to achieve either of those things. Something you wish your partner would say or do to put you at ease or some secret technique that puts you over the top.
Our relationship is brand new, so I know this could maybe just work itself out or just be jitters, but I'm also nervous that the pressure he's putting on himself will compound and only make things worse for him.
Some acknowledgements:
- ED doesn't equal ADHD and can obviously be a standalone issue.
- He's not on medication (can't because military)
Gimme your ADHD sex tips!!
(Lawd I hope he doesn't follow this subreddit.)
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ADHD
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I am FURIOUS. He kept saying, "pay attention to the due date!" Which I took to mean, "Please turn in your work like normal because some of you aren't even doing it" (because he was complaining about 7 people not even turning in an assignment). He IMPLIED, but didn't EXPLICITLY state...
​
I sent him the ANGRIEST of e-mails. I didn't cuss or resort to insults, I simply angrily explained to him that SOME OF HIS CLASS IS NEURODIVERGENT. Ugh! He apparently changed the time because he was tired of people turning in work at midnight. Maybe that's the only time they have to do it BECAUSE WE HAVE JOBS. He keeps going on about some folks having kids so it's harder for them to finish work if we all turn it in at midnight. THAT ISN'T MY PROBLEM. Sucks you had kids, that's your problem to deal with. I shouldn't be punished simply because you have children. What the heck even is that logic?
​
I HATE IT HERE.
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aspergers
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So, I guess a recap of what has been going on for anyone who cares, I guess.
I started seeing a therapist. She suggests that I may have severe depression, bipolar disorder, and general anxiety disorder and here soon I am going to actually get diagnosed and put on medication even though it feels like it could never be soon enough.
I've always been extremely aware of my large overuse of escapism in the form of music, video games, and small addictions like caffeine and a cigarette every here and there, but I am becoming increasingly aware of how brittle the bonds with those forms of escapism is.
Pokemon, a little kids' game, is also one enjoyed greatly by me, but for some reason when I casually post something about it on its designated sub, and get the usual online treatment of being made fun of, just the usual random stuff, it feels like a smack in the face and suddenly a stupid little thing that made me feel better just makes me sad. Internet hate usually doesn't bother me but for some reason this time it did. I deleted the post and just want to cry over a stupid ass baby game. Why am I like this? I just want to share the things that I enjoy with people and not feel like I should hate myself for it. I'm definitely over reacting but I don't know if I can really help if this time.
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depression
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I recently have been seeing a therapist after being referred by a PCP and I got diagnosed with: Depression, General Anxiety disorder, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, and Schizoid personality disorder.
I am not exactly happy but I feel more whole and able to approach my mental problems with a decent amount of knowledge on them.
If you guys are suffering in the same way I am just know that THERE IS HOPE and you should get a diagnosis if you haven't already.
I am going to get rediagnosed later this month by a psychiatrist, they will also prescribe me medication which means no more drugs :( nevertheless I'm glad to be moving in the right direction
Edit: I was prediagnosed with depression and then actually diagnosed with bipolar, sorry for the misunderstanding
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depression
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I just backed out of the post I was originally going to make by accident lol. I'm too lazy to write another 2 paragraphs so:
In the past 9 months I quit my job, quit taking college courses, moped around while depressed for a long time, tried to apply for work but mostly got anxiety while doing nothing, got a new job by some miracle, found some motivation along the way.
TL;DR (?): I just want to hear your success stories for when I inevitably break down and panic about my terrible life choices, haha.
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ADHD
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Recently my therapist casually referred to the abuse from childhood that i have been working through as grooming, but i don’t understand because it wasn’t sexual. I am female and the teacher who abused me is also a woman. The case was known at the time locally and she lost her job for a period of time but was invited back but i always thought it was just plain emotional abuse, my therapist referred to it as grooming because the teacher, before becoming aggressive and at times handson, treated me as though special, she confided in me, and showed me off to older students and staff, she made me trust her so much, i almost worshipped her.
I was 12-14 at the time.
I am trying to process it now as among other traumas it effects my self view and attachment
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ptsd
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I consider myself to be a very intuitive person, and I can read people very well. I exhibit many autistic features, but after years of work I feel I can intuitively read most people and situations which may be uncommon for an aspie. I like to think of myself as a good person, and not in the conceited, "nice guy" fashion. I don't have to be friends with someone to be kind to them, I'm kind to strangers, friends and peers alike; however, if I find someone is going out of their way to be purposefully mean to me, my mind immediately jumps to the worst places. I'll ruminate for days about that person and put a lot of thought into what I see as their defaults and likely insecurities. Most of the time I never speak my thoughts out loud because I hate confrontation, but if that person confronts me, I can often use what I've gathered and hurl some of the meanest insults I've ever heard and feel little remorse or regret after. I feel like I save these for the true bullies I've encountered. My harshest example is back in high school. I was in a gym class and me and a special needs student in there became friends. He had some disability, and the bully, student X, would mock him behind his back. Seeing this, I stood up for my friend and student X took a disliking to me. I didn't back down from him, wasn't scared of him, and him and I would exchange words here and there. He even told me his 'cousins' would beat me up if I wasn't careful. I doubted that. This whole time I was doing my thing, ruminating about this guy and picking him apart in my head until I felt I had figured him out. Then, one day in gym he came up to me and started making fun of my longer hair I would hold back in a headband. I responded, "Dude, you look like your mother beats you." and he looked shocked and walked away. Someone overheard and came up to me and told him that they are pretty sure his Mom does hit him, and I made another mean comment like "good" or "I don't blame her.". I realize how mean that was to say, but I felt no sympathy for this guy who was bullying me and my disabled friend.
​
I guess what I'm most surprised about and wondering if other people can relate, is the fact that I can say these mean things to people I feel deserve it and not feel a hint of remorse. I know aspies can sometimes make really out of line comments, but I'm aware of what I'm doing and still go forward if I feel justified.
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aspergers
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Oh boy, yet another rant about school because I just gotta say some stuff. So right now my grades are... I'd say they're acceptable, my mom would probably say they're terrible lol, and my dad would just agree with her. I have all A's and B's except for 2 C's (one in English and one in Creative Photo). One of those C's was from my average getting tanked by a poor grade on an English paper, and the other was from an assignment that I physically didn't have the time to do because I was absent when we did it, and we did stuff every day during class.
Tangent aside, I was ready to accept those as my quarter 2 grades. The world's not gonna implode if only my 3rd out of 8 semesters in high school is slightly subpar, my psychiatrist can literally write something that tells colleges to ignore my performance during this part of high school because I wasn't getting the treatment I needed (Yes, he can actually do that. Really gonna miss him when he retires in the spring), and honestly I really don't give enough of a shit to be ridiculously stressed by it.
HOWEVER, my English teacher decided to be a fucking nice person and let us remediate our essays, and accept remediations until January 1st. So guess what my mom's gonna make me do over the weekend, because she has an unhealthy obsession with my grades and literally loses sleep over numbers on a screen that don't even affect her? That's right, I've gotta revise a fucking essay. And I didn't even plan for it either.
I thought since we were doing midterms, and it's about to be winter break, that I was finally done. I thought a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I thought for the first time in forever, I could have a breather during my massive fucking burnout. BUT NO! After beating me to a pulp, the school had to throw one last punch, just because it's a little shitter.
Now sometimes I feel like maybe I don't care enough about school, but according to like all my friends and some of the people of reddit (who I thing might be correct), my mom just cares too much and I feel like I don't care enough in comparison. I had a way to link this into my rant but I forgot it.
But yeah, my parents are in their room talking (probably about me let's be honest). I just need a break, man. I just wanna be able to sit at my computer and make Minecraft texture packs without it being in procrastination and feeling worried.
TL;DR I thought I was done with schoolwork until after winter break. I was wrong. Fuck this shit.
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ADHD
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I apologize if this isn't the right channel for this. I started taking meds for ADHD 2 months ago and I had issues with male sexual disfunction. I have tried adderall and I am currently taking Strattera. Are there any meds that might have less sexual side effects? I had sleep and anxiety issues on the adderall but it has improved with the Strattera. Don't know if this will help.
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ADHD
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I'm 46 and convinced I have ADHD (inattentive). I've dealt with fatigue forever (since I was a child). I do have mild sleep apnea, but even with a CPap machine I'm still dealing with it. I'm talking to my psychiatrist today about possibly getting evaluated and medicated for this. I'm already on Duloxetine and Buspirone for depression and anxiety.
My symptoms:
* Fatigue, but also difficulty falling and staying asleep at night (I have to nap every day to get through the day though)
* Difficulty doing tasks I don't want to do (have been a horrible procrastinator my entire life)
* Tendency to go down rabbit holes of things I do like
* Difficulty focusing for any length of time on work tasks (especially since WFH during COVID)
* Making systems and not sticking to them
Does anyone else here deal with fatigue as a major component of ADHD? If so, has medication worked for you?
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ADHD
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I have had OCD since I was a child, with some kind of “classic” symptoms like obsessive hand washing/germ phobia, intrusive thoughts/behaviours. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and put on meds, which kinda helped but I mainly learned to deal with things. I had a major episode after giving birth, and was formally diagnosed with OCD then, and put on Zoloft which has been a life saver.
But I find myself having “flair ups” once in a while, mainly with things surrounding obsessively reading news, rare disease symptoms (not COVID interestingly ... if it’s a real threat I seem to deal just fine), and will spend a whole night refreshing Twitter or googling things. Then it goes away In a couple weeks, like it never happened. Does anyone else experience these “flair ups”?
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OCD
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I started concerta about a month ago and ended up having a severe panic attack (I was also in the middle of finals, so some stress can be related to that) that I could not control. Since the concerta was helping a lot with ADHD, my doctor recommended that I take it with Prozac for anxiety. Has anyone had positive experiences with this combo? I’m just nervous about having another anxiety attack.
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ADHD
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I often hear about how people on post their positives, but I can't help but think that I haven't got any positives. My life is empty and I don't know where to start. I don't feel that anything I do will be worthwhile because someone else has already experienced better at a younger age.
I feel very silly about myself and incapable. I am discouraged and I feel very inferior. I'm not moving forward in life, I'm just treading water and losing my strength to keep my head above water.
I see the lives of others and I think to myself, I wish I were good enough to have a life like that. I'm disappointed and ashamed of myself. I have felt like this since I was sentient enough to compare myself to others, and it has beaten me down for the past 15 years.
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depression
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do you need a diagnosis to actually have ocd? and how do you get one? i have gone to therapy for obsessive thoughts and like stuff i need to do to keep thoughts away multiple times where i have been close to giving up bc i couldnt take it anymore. my therapist refers to it as ”your ocd” ”your obsessive thoughts” and we have tried different types of exposure. now, idk if that counts as a diagnosis? but even if i clearly have ocd/obsessive thoughts/something i have recently felt really invalid and like my struggles arent real just because i havent gotten a real diagnosis(?). my therapist has said i probably dont need medication unless i get a really really strong obsessive thought that i obsess over again so?
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OCD
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I read this quote on Reddit somewhere, and it has really helped me to be less afraid of my feelings.
A lot of times, we think strength is pushing down our feelings, being strong, or pretending that we won't care. But that's not true strength - and while it's necessary sometimes, true strength is being able to face our emotions and not run away.
When we fear our emotions, what we actually fear is ourselves. But how? Don't we trust ourselves and our minds enough to let our emotions run free? When framed that way, I know that yes, I do trust myself. I am the ocean, and so I trust myself enough to let myself feel my own waves.
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ptsd
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What's the difference between denial and having gay thoughts/feelings. Rather then the mysterious onset of homosexual thoughts and feelings towards the same sex?
My anxiety is stemming from having homosexual thoughts and feelings later in life compared to other LGBT people I've talked to, who knew they where gay early on.
I know I'm over thinking this , but I can't get enough clarity to figure out what's my true sexuality behind all this brain fog.
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OCD
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hello
i was walking in my house and my hand landed on my stomach bc i nearly fell and then i was feeling around my stomach (i have some eating issues) and i got these thoughts saying a neighbor might be watching me and that they think i’m doing something inappropriate when i’m not. at first i found it a little funny bc it’s absurd
then i was feeling my stomach and at the same time i got this thought that it will look really inappropriate and i still pressed it anyways. and i had this thought that the “neighbor” was some random young girl BUT THE KICKER IS WE DONT HAVE ANY NEIGHBORS LIKE THAT!!!! also WHO TF is going to be looking inside my house.
realistically i knew that having my hand in my stomach is not innapropaute or bad looking and at first i thought it was funny but then i feared i am reallt indecently exposing myself even though i know no one actually thinks that and i’m secretly a sick weirdo with this fetish who wants other ppl to watch me when in reality i’m embarrassed and it caused me anxiety.
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OCD
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Finding it very hard not to give in and ask my ex if we slept together whilst with my current partner. I have no evidence or remember anything up until a few days ago when my brain told me I did…I wouldn’t forgot about sleeping with someone…would I?
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OCD
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STAY AWAY FROM ROBERT BRAY!!!
I unfortunately fell into the hands of this man at a very vulnerable point in my life. I had just realised that I had OCD and had previously been working with a therapist who was treating me purely for anxiety. It became aware to me that my previous therapist didn't have the tools to help so i decided to look elsewhere.
Due to the fact that Rob insists that his reading list is fundamental in overcoming OCD, he strangely advises against reading books solely written about OCD because they don't understands what he understands (RED FLAG NUMBER 1). He bangs on about Albert Ellis as though he worships him like a God and claims that he has 'treated previous Ellis patients' and further claims that they said he was "better at treating OCD" than he was (another blatant lie).
As Rob raves about his reading list and markets it as the only path to recovery (he may not explicitly say its the only way but he's a smart guy and he knows how to market himself well so he can portray that message without having to say it), I found myself asking the next therapist I saw about Albert Ellis trying to see if she knew who he was. Unfortunately, she didn't which made me question he ability to treat me even though she had expertise in OCD and was FULLY TRAINED (unlike Rob). So I decided to take a punt on Rob even though I knew it was too good to be true.
I will proceed to list the problems with Rob as a person, his "treatment" methods and then the magical group chats that he bangs on about all the time (*spoiler* they're not so magical).
So, Rob as a person:
On his Instagram lives he does come across as quite charming and well spoken, I will also humbly admit that he does have some great insight into OCD when it comes to advice and so on BUT this does not mean he has the capabilities to give "coaching" in a safe and secure manor or any therapy at all as a matter of fact.
You will be aware that he labels himself as a "coach", this again is another strategic move. Labelling himself as a coach means he has no one to keep him and this is extremely dangerous in so many ways. He has clearly become a coach because he either was so delusional that he thought he had all the answers already or he did it because he was too lazy to train professionally and simply wanted to cut corners so he could start earning money from vulnerable people as soon as possible. Another way that Rob is able to draw people in is due to the fact that a lot of people go to quite a few therapist and still aren't getting much better (this is because a lot of therapists aren't expertly or specifically trained in OCD so they don't understand how to treat it most effectively). They are not getting better not because the GOLD STANDARD treaments of CBT with ERP. Rob is unable to perform ERP safely and there are numerous accounts from people backing up this point but if i went into the details I'd end up writing a novel.
Lets go onto the sessions and pricing:
So in short the sessions are not worth the money whatsoever. At the start Rob is more than happy to spend the full 50mins in the session with you to then get you hooked and rely on him for your emotional wellbeing (although your wellbeing will most likely be worse once he does this). After a while I began to realise that not only were the sessions getting shorter and shorter but the only time they lasted anywhere near the time I was promised was when Rob was speaking about himself (sound like a narcissist to you? Well he most likely is so that's why). There were numerous times when I could tell Rob wasn't listening to me as I would finish what I was saying and he just wouldn't respond, I'd then have to ask him to respond like I was some needy girlfriend. Most of the time I could hear Rob doing something else in the background, whether that was walking around the streets, getting into cabs or just fiddling around with something. There were also times when he would completely forget about my sessions and I wouldn't hear from him till the day after (remember, he wasn't just doing this to me he was doing this to various other people on a daily basis). I could tell he wasn't taking notes or keeping track of my progress or struggles because he would start our calls every time with the same line trying to trigger me but I never struggling with that particular obsessions in the first place. At worst there were times when my sessions would last no longer than 20 minutes as Rob would exclaim the the conversation was going round in circles and we should therefore end it. I wouldn't have minded this if he had promised another call in the next couple of days or if he offered an extra session but there was no offer whatsoever, just a simple "go away and think about what I've told you". Great Value for £200.
Rob seems to believe that Albert Ellis is the saving grace of OCD (He's not). Albert Ellis was the pioneer of REBT but that was developed 60 years ago, time has moved on and so has psychotherapy. Rob seems to believe that out of the thousands of people who have studied OCD and psychology, he was the only one that really understood what Ellis was preaching when it came to his methods of disputing irrational beliefs. This does not help OCD suffers it just fuels the cycle! Trying to accept going to prison as a convicted pedophile when you have POCD is impossible, you would only be able to do that if you were in fact a pedophile. It's funny because for someone who's "recovered" and doesn't experience intrusive thoughts anymore he sure does get triggered a lot. At the start of Covid he was on his instagram instructing people to "STAY INDOORS" "THIS VIRUS IS DEADLY" (Yeah deadly to less than 1% of people Mr Rational Robert). There was also a time where I was telling Rob a food poisoning story from my childhood and he said to me on the phone "wasnt that really scary?!", almost as though he was a little kid. He then went on to say the previous night he got "triggered" because he thought he may have had food poisoning from some fish. Interesting.
On to the groupchats. They DO NOT HELP. Listen, it's great to know that you're not the only person in the world who has OCD and I completely understand that but being in a group chat with over 50 people talking about their day to day struggles of OCD is only going to remind you that YOU HAVE OCD and you need to be doing the complete opposite - getting on with your day to day life and trying not to think about your OCD and remaining present. Being in a groupchat with 50 people who are untrained giving you advice is just going to make you worse. Unfortunately as Rob himself is untrained but professes that he's found the key to recovery and therefore doesn't need training, people in the group chat also take up on this idea and start acting like trained therapists in the group (Just because you've read a couple of albert ellis books doesn't make you trained unfortunately).
There is good news though. Word is spreading about this horrible man and what he's up too. He's losing followers rapidly because of this and some of his biggest moderators are leaving him which speaks absolute volumes. Theres way more tragic and shocking stories than mine from other people but unfortunately they are too afraid to speak up. It won't be long until this guy is in big trouble. I'm sure i'll be getting a response from Jade T or something singing his praises which is said because his disciples are too blinded by the cult set up and Robs consistent gaslighting. Just because you've had a good experience doesn't mean everyone has and i'd say the large majority have felt like they've been taken advantage of. It's funny that because they have.
If you are struggling with OCD or suspect that you may be suffering from the Disorder, I would highly recommend following accounts on Instagram such as NOCD and OCDaction. There are also many others but these are reliable and transparent accounts. OCD action are based in the UK and NOCD are in the US, they are backed by the TRUE leading brains in the OCD community such as Professor David Veale.
Stay safe out there on the inter web guys!!!!
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OCD
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What I mean by this is does anyone shower with a bit too much products. Like I would shampoo my hair three times everytime i wash it and almost every time i shower. All these soaps and shampoos have gotten so bad to the point where all of them dried out the palms of my hands to the point where the texture of my skin feels more like sandpaper than skin. It’s been happening for years and I feel bad because i’m wasting so much water and products and I just want to stop. Is anyone else dealing with this? If so, any advice?
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OCD
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Yesterday, I went to a restaurant with my friend and we decided to have a philosophical conversation.
We were speaking I guess a bit louder that someone else from the restaurant wanted to be apart of the conversation and they immediately pulled a chair up because they want to be a part of the conversation.
The start off by telling me…
“I can tell that your not normal…”
WTH… what gives this random person the nerve or stones to tell me I’m not normal…
No one asked this person for their opinion…
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aspergers
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And I keep on feeling like I need to look behind my back or that I’m going to see him around every corner. My dreams are shit. Im already on antipsychotics. What else am I supposed to do to get rid of this feeling like I’m about to be attacked at any moment
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ptsd
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I'm currently regretting something I chose not to do and I'm spiraling into insanity thinking about the fact that I'm going to miss out on it.
A month ago I was offered the opportunity to go to a really cool and special event (that's happening in a few days) and I turned it down because I would have to miss 1.5 classes and I'm a rule follower so I didn't want to skip.
When I turned it down, I was bummed out and didn't really think much of it, but now that the event is getting closer I can't stop beating myself up over the fact that I'm not going. Why did I think sitting in class for 2 hours would be better than going to this event that I was so excited for? I guess it's just typical FOMO being heightened because of my OCD, but I'm making myself sick to my stomach thinking about how dumb I am for not going.
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OCD
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I don’t know about you guys but I struggle deeply with tone. I’ll write things that I think are direct and to the point, but it comes off as angry. Fortunately I’m 18 so I don’t really have to write professional emails yet, but I thought this might help.
I got a grammarly safari extension, and it checks the (emotional) tone of your writing. So it just tells you how it might come off to NT’s. There’s a little symbol and the bottom right corner (of Gmail) that checks tone (and grammar) as you write it. Yesterday I wrote an email and grammarly said the tone was “direct” so just to make sure I added in some NT “fluff” (ex. How was your break?) to seem friendly.
Hope this helps someone!
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aspergers
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