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So today I saw a new Dr because I moved recently and after talking to me for 30-40 minutes his take was that my ADHD is “mild” and I would be better off taking Wellbutrin instead of Adderall, and I’m terrified. I think I’ve been doing well on stimulants and I don’t see why there’s any need to change. I guess he said it might help my anxiety but I think most of my anxiety is a result of my ADHD and years of trying hard to do stuff but not being able to and being called lazy. The fact that I got “descent” scores in college after working my ass off and struggling way more than I should have if I didn’t have undiagnosed ADHD doesn’t mean that my ADHD is mild! With the amount of effort I put in I should have gotten stellar scores not just descent. I feel so invalidated and bummed out. Has anyone had an experience like that? Anyone taking Wellbutrin as an ADHD treatment?
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ADHD
|
I was one of these idiots who avoided therapy for 2 years and in these years HOCD caused lot’s of damage. I feel anxiety without a trigger, my brain sends constant anxiety signals and I have a constant depressed mood.
HOCD changed how my brain works and my mood is constantly suppressed because my brain is by default in an anxiety state without a trigger.
Is there a way to get rid of this „automatic anxiety response/ condition“ and be happy again? How would you do it? I feel like I developed anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure.
This was definitely caused by HOCD. I feel like I need to learn to have fun, enjoy the life and feel pleasure again.
For those ignorant morons who are still not in therapy, in god’s sake get you shit together and find a therapist.
Nothing changed in the last years and nothing will change in the following years if you don’t look for professional help. The only change you can expect is that everything will get worse.
I developed also insomnia. My brain is 24/7 in a stressed/anxious condition without getting triggered. I can only sleep 3 hours, wake up, stay awake for some 1 hour, sleep again, wake up, push me to sleep again.
This is horrible.
Again: LOOK FOR THERAPY BEFORE TO MUCH DAMAGE IS DONE
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OCD
|
I recently posted in a different sub about the overwhelming onset of anxiety, regret, and guilt that hit me just as soon as I brought my new/adopted cat home. It's been less than a week now but as the feeling's been festering, I'm starting to understand that it's more likely the OCD I've had since childhood that's contributing to the way I'm feeling.
In short, I've been a cat owner for a long time and have been planning on adopting a second cat for many months. It was a well-thought-out decision and it felt *right* when I met my new cat at the shelter. Everything was ready to go for this new cat - new collar, new supplies, everything. I was beyond excited. And then...I drove him home, and felt this sickening feeling in my stomach that hasn't gone away since. It came out of nowhere, a small thought, and then I started to spiral shortly after.
I have another cat, so I felt guilty that I would be disrupting her life with this, too, and that I'd be changing the dynamics of everyone's routine forever. With this feeling in my stomach, I started to go down the rabbithole of "what if I feel like this and it never goes away?"
And instead of thinking, "it's a new cat, they need time to adjust, and so do you," I immediately thought, "oh God, what if I have to return him to the shelter? What if I can't live like this?" And it's ridiculous that I do feel this, because I made a commitment and I need to give myself time to adapt, but that's not how our brains work, is it? I hate the nauseating feeling of trying to push through this for a few months, but I also hate the guilt and shame of having to return him just because my brain suggested that I should.
I was so thrilled to bring him home, but ever since I did I haven't been able to feel this same joy or love. I'm unable to bond with him because I can't feel anything except anxiety and guilt.
I want to point out that this has happened before. I fostered a cat with the intention of adopting her, and ended up returning her because my resident cat was upset with me and stopped being affectionate and I became torn apart over the idea of me disrupting her life and her hating me forever. So I'm familiar with the feeling of shame that comes with bringing a cat back, as well as the guilt, because this isn't the kind of logic you can share with a shelter volunteer or the animal itself - I have no reasons to give them other than that I'm not a good person and thus am treating the animal like it's an object that I have no regard for. I keep telling myself that I should just never be adopting any animals, ever, that I'm stupid for even trying to do this again after last time.
I don't know if seeking reassurance was my goal with this post, but I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced something similar, and if so, how you coped with it. Puppy blues/post-adoption depression is common, but it's another level when you throw in OCD to the mix.
Edit: added a few details
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OCD
|
I’m not officially diagnosed but I’ve been suspecting it for a while now. Part of it was my social situations and how I feel.
I’ve always had the fear (true or not) that people only hangout with me because they pity me.
I sometimes feel like maybe I’m the kid in the viral videos that everyone lets score a touchdown so they can feel good about themselves.
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aspergers
|
as stated in my last post here i am not diagnosed with ocd (i haven't seen my psych in awhile) but i relate to you guys more than anything so i am continuing to post here.
my intrusive thoughts all take turns torturing me. when i think i'm rid of one another one comes to take its place. it's like i'm always looking for something to worry about, to obsess over and i can't stand it.
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OCD
|
Was just wondering if anybody else has a history of chronic lateness? This has been going on ever since I was a kid. I've been late to school, college, university, even primary school when I was old enough to get there by myself. I remember being punished for it when I was at school by being forced to come in earlier than everybody else (needless to say, I was late to THAT as well) and having responsibilities taken from me. I also remember being called into the manager's office at my second dead end job *more* than once for "seeming to be in a daze" and "constantly being late to work". Was glad to leave that one, hated it.
I remember one person in my class telling me that I "didn't get a say in what they were talking about because I was never there/always late so I deserved the grade I got" ~~rude b\*tch.~~ I just don't understand why the possibility of me having ADHD wasn't picked up on prior in tangent with my other symptoms, although going into all that will cause me to go off on *another* tangent lol.
I also find that my hyperactivity likes to move about which has also caused me to be late in the past. For example, if a bus was late or I had plenty of time until the next one, I would walk all the way to the next stop, regardless of whether it was far away or not because I can't stand waiting around. I would also walk all the way to a particular destination instead of getting transport for exactly the same reason. People have asked me why I bother doing this, and honestly I don't have an answer. Can anyone relate?
***TL;DR*** *I've always been "the one who is always late", and now I realise that this is symptomatic of ADHD. Does anybody else have the same problem?*
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ADHD
|
So I just got offered this great job, good pay, good benefits, with a really good company. I work in scientific research and have for about 5 years now. I have 3 years of experience with this specific job description but this new job is going to pay significantly more than the last one and I'm assuming they're going to want a lot more out of me and I'm getting nervous. I was never the strongest employee where I'm at now but generally okay a what I did. I noticed my ADHD (inattentive, not much hyper activity) affects my work performance pretty significantly. I feel like I only got this job because of personality and I had a good amount of revelant experience on my resume.
Does anyone have any advice on how to really give it my all when I start this position? I have about a month left until I start so I want to try and get into the habit now.
Also just before anyone asks I took meds for a long time but it made my anxiety levels go crazy and I haven't for a while. Im not opposed to taking them again but it hurt my social skills a lot while taking it (not that they're great without them) which also didn't help my working life.
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ADHD
|
Any book suggestions to help an adult manage aspergers? I am old but new to this. Thank you.
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aspergers
|
I started dextroamphetamine on the 4th, 20mg, by the 12th it had tapered off and was barely working, the last 3 days have been hell. Today i feel like my old self but even worse because for one beautiful perfect week i was capable and normal and able to get things done, i want to cry, i hate being in my own mind now.
Drugs stopped working after like a week, i couldn't feel the drugs by day 3 of taking them (felt real high day 1) but the change was evident in every aspect of my life, it was working and i was able to get SO much done in that week/10 days when it was active, i slept better than i ever had, i was getting stuff done and now...now life is utter hell, I have no idea how i lived so long feeling like this because I just feel trapped in my own body, it's frightening, and heartbreaking, I want to scream and cry, i want to break something, i want to sleep for a year but i doubt i can get 3 hours in.
How can i live knowing something DOES work, but it only lasts a week and then who knows how long before i can take it again?
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ADHD
|
As Dante said:
“Abandon hope all ye who enter here.”
Fixed it: Abandon all hope if you have OCD.
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OCD
|
I also overcame my other compulsion (fear of going crazy), for it to only be replaced by a new one, but I didn’t do any compulsions related to it today and was actually able to get stuff done that I WANTED to! Instead of feeling like I needed to do compulsions
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OCD
|
Long Rant that i wanna get off my chest because this is my only vent outlit
People are always like “wow you’re so special you can be so smart” or “its not a disability its a gift” or bs like that, it gets on my nerves. Like instead of being a dang super computer or elon musk having these problems are more like “i feel like ass everything is overwhelming i wanna lay down in the dark after going in public for 5mins”.
I have almost every mental problem that is related to autism or the sort, And i always get told i should be “grateful” for this but people fail to realize the worst of the negatives of having it, Like having to prep all day for literally going to the store, Shutting down randomly for no reason, overwhelmed for like 4 people being in the same room, (in the case of touretts which i have) Horrible Tic attacks that literally torture me, and i have like -100 social skills and many more things.
It pisses me off when people act like i am the second coming of Einstein or steven hawking or some smart person like that who is the smartest person in the room and after all of that i subconsciously put high expectations for myself and when i fail at stuff it makes me ashamed of myself.
Also they want me to Normal but also treat me like im about to snap which makes me annoyed and more likely to snap.
no matter what i do it makes me feel disappointed in myself because of these high expectations and stereotypes, If i do something wrong it feels like my family are judging me (they’re probably not but i cant get rid of the feeling) and when i breakdown i remember those “autistic people unstable and insane” stereotypes.
Sorry for the long post i just need to get stuff off my chest
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aspergers
|
This has always been an issue of mine. I experience a lot of sensory overloads. Definitely if im tired.
My girlfriend and i have been together for almost 10 months now. I’ve tried to explain to her multiple times what its like etc. But she doesn’t get it.
For example, In moments where i get a sensory overload she wants to comfort me. And she does that by hugging. But for me that makes the sensory overload worse. I know she really wants to help. So my question:
How do you explain to people what sensory overload is so they understand it and can help with it?
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ADHD
|
TW, self harm
I cut my wrists the other day, it was my first time, you don't get addicted from doing things once so why, just why do I feel like I need it. I don't want to, I don't want to fall down into this hole, but it's so hard to resist the temptation. I'm scared.
I'm so weak, I never grew up, or matured, I'm not immune to temptation like I thought I was. I need it.. I need it, I know it would make this sick feeling in my stomach go away, I know it... I hope my parents will forgive me for hurting their baby girl...
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depression
|
(Tw suicide)
Last year a few people made a 120+ page document detailing every wrong thing another user has done. They've been upfront in saying they can't get evidence of some stuff, otherwise I suspect it would be a lot longer. Nothing she did was illegal, it was mainly a collection of times she either lost her temper, said ignorant transphobic things, or made some Tweets about somebody else that look like they were probably lies. She made a failed attempt to raise awareness for #BLM by comparing real life oppression to the oppression in her online story, which came across as self-marketing-but even though she apologized 3 times off the top of my head and made a donation to make up for it, people are still dragging it up saying they'll never let her forget it.
I think the stuff she's done is worthy of criticism, but some of it was also 2 years ago. People are saying this is just accountability, but I think it's just bullying. There are people saying they hate her, she's a bad person, making entire videos about her, she's a piece of shit, never interact with her again...she has stated she's received lots of horrible messages and I believe her.
I was upfront and honest saying this isn't the way to deal with any of this and people need to cut it out. I said that this is cyberbullying that can tip someone over the edge, and if they refuse to change their behaviour then it will be on them if this ends in suicide.
I was not saying this woman will kill herself. I was saying that it is a very real possibility you have to take responsibility for when you upload a 120 page document of non-illegal reasons we should hate and avoid someone.
They said I guilttripped them and that this wasn't bullying, it was just accountability and consequences for her actions. They said I was suicide baiting them and it was an awful thing for me to have done.
My mental health plummeted to the point I deleted 95% of my comments defending her. I don't want to be manipulative. They said I was essentially using suicide to get what I wanted, which was for them to stop doing this to her.
I've been obsessing ever since. Was I wrong? My head keeps going over and over it.
|
OCD
|
I will reconnect with myself and the world.
I will fall in love with life.
I will feel worthy.
I will love and be loved.
Not sure where else to post this. I just want to remind myself that a warmer, brighter future is within reach.
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depression
|
Clarification: I’m speaking about how autism presents *to me* from *my perspective*.
I’m not speaking on behalf of all autistic people, or autism in general as some have assumed. Clearly there is a wide spectrum and some people struggle more than others.
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aspergers
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I cannot shake the intrusive thought of what if I did something illegal by accident that will land me in jail (despite not even remembering anything illegal that I’ve done accidentally). This is hell.
|
OCD
|
it’s been a year i stopped taking anti depressants and felt happy for the first time in five years, but now i notice i haven’t been happy all along, i just avoided it through material things and temporary joys, such as partying, going out and having fun. i haven’t gone out at all in like two months and now i realize i actually feel lonelier and sadder than ever. i feel like everyone’s tired of my shit and narcissistic ass and that’s why they don’t speak to me anymore. also my parents are mad at me for everything all of the time like they regularly used to, i thought our relationship was improving but the truth is i just avoided hanging out with them. i’m tired, i don’t know who to talk to since my “best friends” won’t answer. i miss my dad too, he died four years ago and my step dad has been a fucking douchebag lately, i wish my dad was here to kick his butt because my mom will always defend him even if he says really hurtful things to me. i really need someone to talk to
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depression
|
I can't even describe what's happening to me because everything is becoming more and more of a blur. I wake up, remember what I did and still have to do then feel like shit about it. Go on through the day feeling like shit but hiding it through a facade of a reliable oldest brother.
People tell me to speak about my problems and they will listen but it's really hard to do. And even if I'm close to spilling, I lie again and again and this repeats forever. Maybe I am a pathological liar.
I'm really sorry for not giving any context right now, but currently I am treading a fine line between suicide and living for another day. And it's even kinda funny how I constantly think about suicide but I try my best to distance myself from things that I might just suddenly use to off myself. That's because I know that once I start practicing it (slicing my wrists and all) and become accustomed to it, I might not be able to stop myself from going further. There are still some people that need me, but holy shit im really tired.
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depression
|
Everything was going well. Then I got thrush. I am in excruciating pain. Meds did not work. I got prescribed Canesten for ATHLETES FOOT instead of thrush and I thought that was normal but the ingredients are different. The pharmacy effed up and I’m even more inflamed.
Been trying for a baby. Last month didn’t work so that made me a bit upset (maybe another factor contributing to low mood). Can’t even try this month because of the pain and my fertile window is closing soon so another month with no good news.
I am uninterested in everything. Everything irritates me because I’m already in pain, doesn’t help when I have people yapping at me about things, which under normal circumstances I would entertain, but I just don’t have the patience for this time. I haven’t text anyone back in what’s coming up to a week now. Which is unfair as I’m on holiday and a great time to catch up with friends.
Just googled it and lots of studies supporting the link between fungal infections (Candida specifically) and MH disorder.
“As a result, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, dramatic mood swings and irritability may all point to Candida overgrowth. Chronic fatigue.”
Just ranting but I’m here to have a chat with anyone experiencing the same or have experienced in the past.
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depression
|
After 1 and a half years of going through the process to be diagnosed, I've finally got my appointment with a specialist soon! I've done little to no research other than i hear the medication for some people be compared to putting glasses on that you need for the first time. My question is what's the best medication to be on? What makes them different? I'd say my ADHD is pretty severe.
|
ADHD
|
Next month it will be 7 years.
I relapsed.
I miss her.
|
ptsd
|
My wow guild officers and GM had a meeting with potential recruits. long story short for those of you who know how discord works.
they had this meeting in a public open channel anyone could join. so I joined in to say hello.
I said nothing other then hello. they continued their conversation and I was looking for a pause in the conversation to tell them I'd leave them to their business.
but before I could do that I got moved to another channel by the GM.
no warning no nothing. and I wasn't even speaking other then to say hello.
so I have two issues with this.
1. he didn't ask me to leave. he didn't notify me. he just moved me.
2. they have private channels that only admins are allowed in and they can move people into the channels. if this meeting was so important that it couldn't be interrupted by a "hello" then why weren't they in the admin channel to begin with?
I was not happy. I called them out in guild chat and got a condescending "Oh koobear" in guild chat which is a nick name of mine.
so to recap they weren't in the proper channel.
they noticed I joined and moved me instead of them going to the admin channel.
then when I called out their rudeness I was dismissed condescendingly.
I'm not happy. I think it was classless. and it takes two seconds to show someone proper respect. a situation that again wouldn't have happened if they were in the damn admin channel to begin with.
now I'm wondering if I'm over reacting or not. I feel like I'm being taken for granted and not shown proper respect.
|
aspergers
|
I remember the last time I was choked by my step-dad who was playing dad at the time and continued to until I was able to leave the house
I had to have been like 5 years old but we were at a hotel. My mom was not there, of course - it wouldn't have happened if she was
My dad had picked me up by my neck with two hands and carried me, chucking me on the ground towards the bathroom. He then picks up my little sister by her neck and started carrying and strangling her.
But something changed. I knew it was wrong now, it suddenly clicked. I yelled at my dad to 'put my sister down!' (imagine that sad scene, 5 year old little boy) he did and I don't know the look he gave but he never choked us again
He was the kind of guy to hide the abuse. The second we knew it was wrong and were forming solid memories he realized he needed to stop. From that point on it became 25 hate filled lashes bare with a belt
Fuck that man and the fact that my sister doesn't remember everything. Then again I was the only one getting the whippings after that. She wonders why I cut him off now in my 20's (she is his full biological daughter - half sister to me)
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ptsd
|
My birthday is coming up next week and I turn 21 so my boyfriend us trowing me a very small party , I was planning on starting meds after my party so I didn’t have to worry about drinking too much , the thing is I really need to study for midterms since right now I’m behind in every single subject , so would it be okay if I skip meds on Friday drink on Saturday and also skip meds on Sunday to make sure I don’t die or anything, or is it okay to skip meds only the day I would be drinking
I’m taking Ritalin
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ADHD
|
Title basically because I’m genuinely not sure. I’m trying to mask less and less (yay more battery)…. But I really cannot NOT sound like a furious asshole sometimes unless I mask. So far, when I’m close to a “danger of trust broken” or “scared of being blamed” feeling… I need to mask or the intensity-spike is just AWFUL for other people.
Tips?
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aspergers
|
I have PTSD. I had a medication change recently and it made me become hyperaroused to the point that I was engaging in risky sex and re-triggering myself. I felt so dissociated that I was doing anything I could to just feel something.
Now I've had the medication situation rectified, but I'm feeling depressed and highly anxious and numb. The change in medication doesn't always make the numb feeling go away and I get so desperate to feel something - anything that I'm having suicidal thoughts and I've been burning and scalding myself just to feel kind of normal.
I don't know how to make it stop, reliably. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts that might help?
|
ptsd
|
hi there, i need help. i have been having anxiety flare-ups, morning anxiety, diarrhea, shaking, tight shoulders, tingling down arms since may 1st. this is the longest it has ever lasted for me. i upped my lexapro to 15mg on may 15th, and have been doing fish oil, vitamin b, ashwaghanda, probiotics, CBD oil, exercise, meditation, yoga, tapping all in hopes of relieving the anxiety. but nothing i helping.
the anxiety starts in the morning, and usually eases by night, but i am so tired of it and don't know what to do. in the past, i have had flare-ups but they usually went away in a week. this one keeps lasting.
i also tried acupuncture, but that seemed to stir up a lot of trauma response, and i cry every day now, along with the anxiety. i just started adding inositol yesterday. please any help will be greatly appreciated.
|
OCD
|
I tried many methods to deal with my adhd such as mindfulness meditation, yoga etc. but never seen significant improvements for my symptoms it was only little bit so that I was able to function properly socially and academically. My recently got prescribed medication but I am still hesitant whether it is a good idea to get hooked on stimulants. Is it worth it to take your life back in order? Or are there serious consequences of using this drug? Heart problems etc
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ADHD
|
tw sexual contents
well before, while watching porn, i used to like when women used to have a bald or a strip in the vagina. I don't used to prefer a hairy vagina, but still it used to attract me. now I feel like I no more attracted to a hairy vagina. am I a pedophile? because I have a lot of comments telling that exactly that is how a prepubescent vagina will look like. am I turning into a pedophile? do I indirectly like pre pubscent vagina? I feel like dying.
|
OCD
|
Without going into too much detail, my uncle was in an accident a week ago and I arrived at the scene soon after it happened. I saw his body and the blood. I later saw how bad he really was when I tried to keep my mum from seeing him. One side of his face was really messed up and his one eye was staring right at me in the moment my mum pulled back the car door. I made eye contact with him but he wasn't there anymore.
I'm a photographer and I was asked to look for pictures of him. I agreed out of wanting to take part in organising his funeral but also hoping that seeing his smiling face would erase my last image of him. But it didn't work and now I'm constantly getting flashes of his body, his face and his eye in my mind and I can't make it stop. I've been having some nightmares too but not many. My appetite has gone to shit as well.
I'm not sure if I'm experiencing a mild form of PTSD but if anyone could advise on what I'm experiencing and how I can sort this out on my own I'd appreciate it. Seeing a therapist is unfortunately not an option for me.
I've tried talking to my partner and close family about how it's affecting me but I guess I'm doing it wrong or they don't want to talk about it? Or they just don't know what to do about it? (In their defence, they have to deal with his death too) Idk but now I'm starting to feel a bit like a burden saying how I can't stop seeing my uncle's face.
I just want to know how I can get rid of these terrible images in my head.
.
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EDIT:
Hi Everyone, thank you so much for your advise. I didn't reply sooner because I actually wanted to try what you all advised.
I didn't see a therapist (financial reasons) but I did try to let the images come to me and didn't run from them.. when it got too hard, I would look at something calming (I have a little garden outside my window).. It's been hard and I've been sort of dealing with this myself, but I'm happy to say that the flashes don't happen as often.. When they do happen it's easier to deal with.. I'm really glad that every dark stain on the ground no longer looks like blood..
I'm truly grateful for your advise and support. You have all helped in the progress of my healing..
Thank You.. LOVE TO ALL.
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ptsd
|
I would probably still have no idea that nonverbal cues are even a thing
Also why is it only overthinking when it’s things that we do? Normal people will judge someone by their posture while walking but we don’t think of that as overthinking
|
aspergers
|
I think I’m getting depressed again…. It’s been over a year since I stopped feeling depressed but lately, I haven’t been feeling like me. The way I’m currently feeling is how I felt when I was depressed. I hate this so much. I thought I wouldn’t end up here again or never feel this way again but I guess I was wrong. Depression always wins.
|
depression
|
Basically the title. For my whole life ive always felt like showering is a chore, ive never wanted to and i never enjoy doing it, i never even really feel clean after showering. Is there anyway to get myself to want to shower every day? Like, get myself excited for it? I know this is probably a but gross but i need advice. I honestly dont even really wanna shower more at all, but i know that i need to and i want to get myself to like it and enjoy and want it.
|
ADHD
|
I have never been diagnosed but I think I have ocd. I can’t do anything right. “If u do this ur a pedophile but if u don’t it’s because u want to do this to a child” stuff like that. It causes me to end up looking at children innapropriate to and I think it’s just because my mind is so set on me not looking at children that I have to. Is ignoring it gonna help or will it make it worse.
|
OCD
|
Just a heads up for people looking to be referred on using Right to Choose.
I spoke to a rep from ADHD 360 today (very quick with the call-back) and they said that they’re booking in assessment appointments for new patients from January 2023 right now. They were apologetic about it and said that they’ve had so much demand for their services that this is the date I could expect to be seen.
Granted, that may still turn out to be faster than the NHS and she did say that they have a cancellations list, but just a heads up for people who are looking for alternatives to Psychiatry U.K.
I’m experiencing a LOT of issues thanks to my symptoms but am still tied up in waiting for my CCG to respond to my individual funding request (I’m in London).
|
ADHD
|
I dont know how to tell if i am giving effort anymore. Everything I do i feel like I fail at. And I don't know if it is people or my own thoughts telling me it is my effort to blame even though I felt like I was giving a lot of effort. Every time I feel like I have been making progress something comes along that throws me back to behind were I was before or at least that is what it feels like. I think I may have lost my ability to gague how much effort I am putting into something. There is do much clutter in my brain and I don't know how to get rid of it or ever how to organize it
|
ADHD
|
Hi guys,
I’ve been really stressed out lately with work, family issues and relationship issues and have noticed that I have completely loss my appetite with comments being thrown at me at work saying that I’m loosing too much weight. Literally everyone at work is commenting and it’s starting to really get to me. Is depression or being stressed out linked to weight loss?
This may be stupid but what made my appetite really go away is being rejected by the girl I like with a lot of drama involved.
|
depression
|
People who experience obsessions like SO-OCD, ROCD, POCD, etc, do you ever feel foggy and confused? I'm at a point where I don't remember how certain things should or shouldn't feel or how things felt before all this. Does anyone feel the same?
|
OCD
|
I just feel so alone with this. The guilty/intrusive thoughts of things done in the past that i cant shake. The irritation and aggression i feel when i let it get the best of me.
I dont get any text messages from anyone. No one calls.. My friends and family have abandoned me it feels like.
I have to be the one to initiate conversations.. Even with my parents. My kids don't miss me the way they miss their mom when shes at work...so it digs a deeper hole..
Sorry just needed to vent..
|
ptsd
|
So I’ve been having POCD but I realized it’s a load of BS. My response to these thoughts are the opposite of a pedo and i never thought of this until this fear hit. I realize it’s stupid. But I still feel scared that it’s not OCD and it won’t go away. How do I get rid of all the fear, false attraction, and thoughts? I’m more logical now but I still have these thoughts
PS: I also realized POCD can make images to get the exact reaction it wants. It can give you a image of a young girl with adult features. Give a young girl clothes of a crush you have and so on. So you have a reaction of fear due to the kid, “attraction” due to clothes or adult features, and confusion. OCD knows how to play this game
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OCD
|
After years (actually decades) of putting this off, I have put in an appointment for a test!
£695 for the initial asessment from Clinical Partners.
I wanted to go with Psymplicity but they didn't even call back. If a company who you want to pay over the price of a new car can't even phone you back to put in an appointment, they aren't getting my business.
It will be good to know, although I don't know what I will do with the information when I do. But that's in the future.
|
ADHD
|
So recently I got a weighted blanket and it's changed my sleep so much. It's miraculous. I think I need a heavier one but I'm not sure which one to get and whether a heavier blanket could cause side effects. I'm 127 lbs and the one I have now is 12 lb. Should I get a 16lb blanket or 20lb? Is it safe to go over the recommended weight?
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ptsd
|
I havent been bad with my PTSD. I usually just dont think about it and just try to move on with my life. But what happened to me in the past is still here in the world and I want to confront it and get I over with but when I think about going back to where it happened after more than a year of moving on and confronting it... It just fills me with terror like it was my fault and that I deserved it and that no one will listen to me.
I want to confront the people I told who didn't do anything but help the person who did this to me, but I'm terrified to go there cause of the "what ifs?".
'What if' the person that did it is there?
'What if' they dont listen to me?
'What if' they blaim me?
I dont know what to do but I do believe that I have to do this to start to heal properly. I'm scared as hell and I dont know if I can. I only have one person who I trust not to do anything rash to go with me. But still I'm scared. And thinking of going there made me have my PTSD moment and I don't know what to do anymore. But I know I have to go there and finish this.
This will take a lot out of me but I hope I can do this to help me finally heal.
|
ptsd
|
You know. It’s real nice when you find a medication that works for you. Your mind is pretty clear, your teeth don’t hurt cuz you’re not grinding, and life is alright. Until you find that one side effect that hits you like a train.
For some it’s the appetite. Or maybe you’re getting dry mouth to rival the biggest stoner in town. Or maybe you’re me and you’re getting ED from it. To add to this it’s happening when my wife and I are trying for a baby. I’ve been in straterra for a little over a month and just upped my dosage the other day. This is frustrating. Right when our bedroom issues seemed solved this happened. Now I have to work with my doctor for a different medication. I’m not about to add a new pill to the list.
Fucking hell…
|
ADHD
|
Long story but I'll make it short. I had severe depression about a month and a half ago. I noticed that I had sleep insomnia I would wake up in the middle of the night also having dreams every night. During the day I would feel low mood, cranky, tiredness, no happiness, hormonal imbalances, I would also try to workout and eat healthy but I just felt unmotivated not doing anything. So 6 days ago I went to the doctor to get a physical exam told them my situation and they drawn blood. After that , suddenly one night I slept through the night. I don't wake up in the middle of night and I stop having dreams. (Not sure It would had to do with anxiety as well). But I feel like my hormonal imbalances is still not recovered and not being happy with myself ? It changed my life and been through a lot. I'm not there yet. Never took medications. I want to know If someone had long recovery from this.
|
depression
|
Hey, I don’t know how to tell this shortly cause it’s a long story but I’ll try my best. Since I was a child my dad was hitting me and my older sister mainly. If he was angry I was afraid to be next to him, cause it would seem he’s looking for a reason to get his nerves out on me. Also I’m a trans guy, he’s not accepting me (I’m 19) and ignoring the fact that I’m suffering. I’m on T two months (it’s gel) I changed my sex on my id to male and i’m having top surgery on April and he don’t know anything about this. He kicked me out of the house when i came out for two days and asked me to come back because he thought he could “change my mind” and basically make me a girl. Now I’m just trying to be there a long as I could cause i want to see my sisters and take food to my apartment I have from national service at my country. When I tell my parents I’m doing all of this, (I will have to because soon I will change physically) he’ll kick me out of the house again. I’m so scared to do this. Any advice of just kind words will be nice :/ thank you for reading.
|
depression
|
TLDR: Dex (and vyvanse) has given me a rash for the last 3 months and I’m sad I’ll have to try a different medication. What else has worked for you?
—
I posted a while ago asking if anyone experienced certain side effects from Dexamphetamine.
Mainly I had experienced cold hands and feet, and being colder in general. That seemed quite common for a few people. It settled down for me and I don’t get that anymore.
However, I also asked about a rash. No one else seemed to experience getting a rash from Dex. I got a rash though and it has since been confirmed it is because of my medication.
This rash started on my ribs, was red and bumpy and very itchy. It spread first to my back, then eventually to the softer parts of my arms and legs. I have had it now for more than 3 months.
After having for about a month I went to see my GP (general practitioner in Aus, the first Dr you see in most cases who will then refer you to more specialists if needed) and he first gave me a script for a steroid cream. It helped the itch if I remembered to use it.
At this point I saw my neurologist (the Dr who diagnosed me with ADHD and prescribed me the dex) and we switched to Vyvanse. This does still have dex as a part of its ingredients though.
After another couple of weeks of the rash continuing I went back to my GP and he asked me to see a colleague who had a special interest in skin conditions. This Dr confirmed it was a drug reaction. Yay for rare side effects. Not. I was prescribed a month long course of strong oral steroids and another steroid cream.
The oral steroid helped tremendously at first, even though it gave me massive headaches, but it didn’t get rid of the rash entirely. I’m currently weaning off the oral steroid as prescribed and the itch is returning.
I’m really worried that I’ll have to stop taking vyvanse because the rash isn’t going away. I’m sad because the vyvanse has helped my ADHD tremendously (the dex was up and down and made me really irritable). But I can’t live with this rash. It’s driving me nuts.
What other medication have you tried that has been good? My son is on Ritalin and it seems to be working for him. I’ll go back to my neurologist to discuss this but I’d like to know of others first hand experiences too.
|
ADHD
|
So I’ve seen a lot of posts on here lately saying this so I wanted to give my opinion. Autistic here but I feel like autistic people contradict themselves so much with this statement. The people who say this are the same people who have a full blown meltdown whenever anyone gives them criticism or tells them something they don’t want to hear. I prefer people to be straight forward too but not “blunt”. I understand why neurotypicals tell white lies and dance around things, as long as people can get to the point eventually i prefer they soften the blow in some way. I think what most autistic people mean when they say “i wish everyone was blunt” was they wish that we can get away with being blunt to other people even after they get called out for being perceived as rude whether intentional or not, but if anybody is blunt to us it’s “ableist” or “i have rejection sensitivity whatever disorder”. If neurotypicals were comfortable being blunt the things they’re saying behind your back would be said to your face. Imagine how youd react if someone told you “you’re being cringey right now” or “you’re so annoying” or “can you please stop talking about the same thing over and over again”. I’m sure a lot of us HAVE heard those things and they triggered meltdowns or made up feel ashamed or embarrassed… well guess what that’s being blunt. Thats what would happen if it was normal to blurt out negative opinions. Like as an autistic person if you blurt out “your shirt looks ugly” or “I don’t like you” something like that you want to be able to back track it and say “im autistic try to normalize being blunt” well that shit hurts peoples feelings and theyd hurt yours too. I mean I know this sounds harsh but can we try to be a little realistic with this and not be so hypocritical? If you’re genuinely cool with everyone being “blunt” all the time i hope you have a handle on your own emotions and can handle when other people are blunt to you. Because being blunt doesn’t only come off rude to NT’s and for a lot of autistic people with hyper empathy and higher emotional sensitivity, which I feel is a lot of us, bluntness sucks for us too. We just don’t want to acknowledge that because we want it to be okay for us to be blunt to other ppl.
Edit: I should’ve clarified earlier sorry for the confusion! I don’t mean blunt as in being direct/straight forward. I think that healthy communication and instruction in regards to relationships, instructions, expectations, etc. is extremely important. I mean the type of blunt that NT’s usually say makes autistic ppl come off rude/disrespectful as in general negative opinions/side comments that honestly should be kept to ones self if hurtful. It wont compromise your “natural autistic way of thinking” to put in a little extra effort here and there to be kind to others. You really can make or break someones day with your interactions with them.
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aspergers
|
So I went to the doctor and mentioned anxiety attacks and OCD symptoms I’d been experiencing during the lockdown. He asked if I ever told my parents about it and I said no and he said maybe that’s part of the problem. He gave me 10mg Prozac and is referring me to a psychologist.
I don’t know if I was feeling the weird side effects of the Prozac but I started feeling extreme guilt and dread from a harm ocd thought about family and my Dad came to comfort me then I started crying and revealing to him everything I’d been keeping bottled up for years and he listened and showed me love. A lot of my OCD thoughts was related to them.
The next day, my hand washing obsession pretty much start to fade and extreme paranoia about getting hit by a car walking outside.
I just had a panic attack just now from obsessing about what if I have harm ocd thoughts about my parents and one move I make, they could die and reset like in a video game or simulation and the people I’d be seeing aren’t actually them. I’ve since calmed down now. Does anyone have similar feelings? Almost felt like I was going crazy and was scared I’d have to go to a mental hospital 😭.
The other day, I felt suffocated indoors like the walls were closing in. It went away when I took a walk outside.
Really regretting locking down full force during the pandemic now and really isolating, but I did it to protect my family. But now, my mental health is really bad and I didn’t really have this problem before. I may have had small doses of it that I barely noticed.
Not to mention today is the first day I got enough sleep. Side effects from the Prozac and vaccine have made me get only a couple hours sleep for 3 days.
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OCD
|
So my counsellor and I think I have ocd but I have a question. Sometimes if I’m sitting close to people or just walking I’ll just start thinking I’m gonna rape someone which I don’t wanna do but then if I make a sudden movement then I start thinking I wanted to rape the person sitting next to me. Is this normal? My ocd is themed around rape( if I have it)
|
OCD
|
I keep getting panic attacks thinking of my mums ex boyfriends shouting at me when I was 9/10 years old.
Me and my mum have a wonderful relationship now but back then she was more driven by finding a boyfriend. She wouldn’t stick up for me when they used to shout at me and treat me poorly.
It was so long ago. But for some reason those memories haunt me now.
My first step dad was an alcoholic. It was a volatile atmosphere. They had explosive arguments day in day out. He loved me but I began to resent him. I remember one time I put sticks and stones into his beer can lol. When they broke up I used to count the days he wasn’t at home. It was such a relief.
He’s the father of my half sister. She reminds me of him too much and we don’t have a relationship at all. I cut her out of my life completely a few months ago. My step father died in 2013 and it effected us all. I hated him for his alcoholism. I blocked it out my mind (his death) but these years later I miss him and regret not saying goodbye.
Her second boyfriend didn’t like or bond with me. He said he’d smash my face in and I remember one time he chased me up the stairs screaming and my mum nonchalantly said ‘stop it!’
I resented my mum for a while after that. Probably explains why I was such a shitty teenager.
It didn’t help that I was bullied at school. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I just let it happen.
I’ve just started a new job and I should be happy but old memories creep back on me.
|
ptsd
|
I have been in a relationship for a long time now but at some point before I was with someone else, she has always been in my friend group although I stopped meeting them all as much until she was having some issues and I was her friend for it all. Then I started to get really paranoid that I was having feelings for her again so I completely cut off the friendship although I did figure out it was just ROCD. I cant stop feeling guilty for thinking it was an emotional affair because was it? I do not like this girl, never will again. Every time I go out our friends always talk about our old relationship so I simply stopped going out anymore and only started to spend time with my boyfriend. What do I do to make the guilt go away. I wish our relationship never happend. Also, this happend many months ago when I started to get paranoid and haven’t been friends with her the same since. Every time we would go out I would ask my bestfriend, promise I didn’t do anything wrong and I acted completely normal around her because I get so paranoid.
|
OCD
|
I’ve developed a new cleaning obsession and have been sleep deprived and my family is so non understanding and got upset with me throwing out old appliances (they were dirty and I bought new ones so I didn’t understand!) and I ended up having a panic attack and took a drive which usually calms me down but it actually made it worse cause I was starting to feel like I wasn’t even driving my car and had another panic attack again wondering if I am schizophrenic. Im just tired. I just wanna relax but my ocd won’t let me. I also wish my family understood me, I just wanna live alone. I’ve been procrastinating calling a psychiatrist because of my social anxiety. Listening to music has been so therapeutic tho, thank God for music but man do I hate this disease.
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OCD
|
I’m so disappointed in my life. I just feel like I’ve imagined everything better than it could ever be in real life. I don’t think anything will ever live up to my expectations and I’ll just be disappointed forever. The thought of living my life the way it is for like sixty more years makes me sick. I just feel like I’m settling for everything and I’ll never truly be happy. Everything that I want is ridiculous or impossible so I’ve just set myself up to be dissatisfied. But it’s not like I can really forget about those dreams or expectations so I don’t know how to feel good about myself or my life. It feels hopeless.
|
depression
|
Let me first start off by saying I know that no PTSD is the same because no trauma is the same.
That being said I'd like to get some anecdotes.
I've had the worst seven months of my life. The most traumatic of which were a period of about 4 months.
I didn't have any of the "big" traumas like how PTSD gets branded.
My question is do you exist everyday where your trauma is present? Does something trigger it? Do you feel "good" for x percentage of the time and "bad" for y percentage? Does your mind constantly feel under duress? Or are there stretches where you feel in complete control of it and your life?
My apologies if any of this isn't kosher to ask. I'm pretty brand new here
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ptsd
|
In college, I’m pretty sure I just failed this semester and my financial aid will most likely be revoked.
I only live with a single parent and I’m working a part time job to support myself, as we’re struggling with money.
I stopped taking medications a few months ago and stopped seeing my psychiatrist because I didn’t see a point in going anymore.
My family doesn’t understand what is going on and I stopped trying to explain.
I can’t do anything right, I feel like such a failure. I feel so exhausted.
|
depression
|
Idk, I’ve been on meds lately, and it’s been better. My finances look better, work etc. I’ve been using apps to track chores and I have a pillbox to track everything. But then me and my boyfriend went to my place and then dinner. I left my keys at my place so he has to drive me home. And now I realize I left my jacket at the restaurant. I just get sick of feeling defective
|
ADHD
|
I'm 16 and I have a problem: I can't accept the fact that I suck at video games and that I will never be brought to them, and that destroys me emotionally. How can I do?
|
depression
|
I’m not happy there is nothing to do anymore no reason to wake up besides keeping my pets alive
|
depression
|
Hi, I’m new here so I’m sorry for my writing in advance, but I don’t really have anyone else to talk to because I can’t bring myself to talk about what I’m feeling. I’ve been trying to balance out school, taking care of my family, and my working a full time job wrecking my sleeping schedule since I’ve gotten back from a deployment, and so far I’ve just been feeling like I’ve been crashing and failing. I’ve always had my bad days and good days where my moods would go from happy to just not being able to stop crying. I’ve been having a lot more bad days and been having endless thoughts of being a failure to my family and I just don’t know what to do. Is their a right answer? When I try to open up about this it just feels like I’m suffocating and no ones their to help me.
|
depression
|
I have OCD and it is well, Pretty bad. I have a crippling obsession with my dog dying and it has become pretty disabling to the point of where I will avoid all raisins and potential things that can kill her.
A roommate I live with bought a pack of gum that contains the extremely toxic substance of Sugar Alcohol and now I am freaking out that somehow my dog will end up with it and I won't have enough money to treat her at the vet and she will die. Even though I know it is pretty common sense that people don't just give dogs gum.
How can I deal with this? I don't know how to deal with it and I am pretty worried that somehow something is going to kill my dog. My dog is my best friend, I love her very much and I am just in tears. I feel like that after this dog I will never get another dog due to the amount of stress and fear of them dying suddenly.
|
OCD
|
Few years ago I visited one of my relatives to hangout for a day or two. At the time they had recently (1-2 years recent) been diagnosed with ADHD. I don't remember exact details but they asked me if I think I may have it or not. At the time, I barely had a concept of it but had my own suspiciouns of it. I was handed a small amount, I would say it was around 5-10mg. I was told some of the side-effects it might bring such as a cold sweat and others that might result in a mild panic, *possibly insomnia.*
Almost at an immediate I started feeling somewhat different. I did feel what they did describe earlier as a cold sweat but the most interesting symptom; *I felt that my mind was clear*. It's like someone sweeped my headspace clean with a broom and turned the light off for the night. During it I was also playing a videogame, I wouldn't say I suddenly got professional but I definitely managed to be calm and focus. Something I am unable to do during games where loading screens or even a small 6 second countdown until I can continue playing again after a death prompt me to open my phone or tab towards a second monitor. Or worse, play a video on the second monitor to keep me occupied during the game. Though, I didn't need anything of that of some sort. They asked me if I am tired considering the idea of possible insomnia, I said no as I tired and fell asleep with no issues.
Now, I don't know what to think about this as I barely told anyone besides maybe four or five close friends, one having a diagnose of themselves. **Is this a strong sign that I might have ADHD?** I already relate to many posts on this forum to a strong point that I get emotional and I am happy my thoughts have an explaination. However, considering many around me doubt that I have it (besides friends and my partner), I feel as best said: Stupid, for even thinking about it.
​
TL;DR: Tested relatives ADHD medicine with permission with no personal diagnose, reacted positively. Calm mind and easier attention ability. **Is this a strong sign that I might have ADHD?**
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ADHD
|
So yesterday something triggered me and I just broke down completely. I was so overwhelmed and in a panicked state. I really felt like all of the feelings the trauma were happening again. But I didn’t realize it was a flashback. Then today when I woke up i look back on it and realized it was a full blown flashback episode. And what’s strange is that usually I’m able to tell when I’m having a flashback, anyone else experienced this?
|
ptsd
|
I don't know if this is OCD or me just being paranoid though.
|
OCD
|
I'm unemployed, single, 36 years old male and I just sit by my computer, playing my games, watching documentaries and read up on stuff that is my special interests.
I feel almost consumed by my special interests and have no desire to stop or motivation to do anything else, yet I feel like I SHOULD be part of the society and be productive, yet as stated before I have no motivation.
I'm having a rather strict daily routine with alarms going off like 6-7 times a day and I'm kinda scared to change things up.
Any tips, tricks that is not clichés?
|
aspergers
|
I can't say my OCD is cured...far from it in fact. But I can say that there is hope for people who have it. A year ago my obsessions were preventing me from engaging in school at all, and I thought I would drop out. Now, after a year of being on my recovery journey, I've gone from struggling to resist any compulsions at all to preparing for a huge culminating exam that seemed impossible before. Meds and therapy/ERP do help! Please keep fighting...you are worth it.
|
OCD
|
Whether I think about the date coming up or not, it hits me like a ton of bricks. As I heal, I am in a constant battle with certain dates. I will spare details but I had experienced the passing of multiple family members in traumatic and sudden ways AND in different times of the year. That being said I am in a constant state of preparation for anniversaries that also coincide with the holidays, my bday and changes in season. So when I get attacked by these memories, I get behind on everything in my life and that just increases the anxiety and depression associated with it. it just prolongs the episode. I can literally forget it’s approaching and my brain will attack me. Totally bs if ya ask me.
So I am a bit irritated that as I improve and work on freeing myself from these events that I apparently have no choice in the matter.....essentially I am a bit pissed about it today. I am bit livid my mom and dad chose to succumb to crappy decisions on opposing sides of the year. I am a just a bit mad about having no consent in how I feel and when I feel it.
That’s all! Thanks for reading.
|
ptsd
|
so i have this thing and i’m not sure if it’s OCD related or not, so i thought i’d ask and see if anyone experiences anything similar - i dont trust other people’s food, and i don’t know why. i mean, i trust food from most restaurants, food that my mum cooks, and food cooked by a select few of my friends, but generally if someone else has cooked something i can’t eat it without feeling grossed out or sick. it’s not even just cooked food, either - if someone buys food from a restaurant or shop and offers me a bit, even before they’ve started eating it, i usually can’t accept the offer because the thought of eating food that ‘belongs’ to someone else really freaks me out. sometimes i have to look at the food and decide if it’s ‘acceptable’ or not before i eat it, the ‘acceptability’ based on arbitrary, unfixed standards. i think this is because of hygiene and because i don’t know if the food has been prepared on a clean surface with clean utensils etc, but i’m not really sure. opinions on whether this is OCD/this is normal/something else?
|
OCD
|
So I broke up with my gf of 5 months about 1 month ago and I am finding out more things that well make me feel more numb. Btw this was an online relationship. So there was this guy that she wanted to ask if they had romantic feelings for them because she is poly. I was okay with this because I am not sure if I am poly or not so I wanted to try stuff out. She got rejected however still used 💜 emojis which for them means romantic. Now I questioned her many times on why she still does this because she got rejected and she said that she hasn’t moved on. I told her that not moving on yet is okay but you should try to stop. She said that she didn’t want to move on because it would be painful but everywhere I looked it said moving on was painful.
After that eventually we broke up because she couldn’t handle it anymore despite us talking 2 days before and she said she was happy in the relationship. I told her so many times to tell me if anything is wrong because I am autistic and I wouldn’t get things and even though i told them this all the time and the negative consequences of it, they didn’t listen. Now I learn that she and that guy have been dating ever since we broke up because of a friend I have and I feel like she probably has been cheating on me. Plus her new bf said I was a piece of shit publicly while I was on a break and thankfully that friend defended me. I don’t know what to do. I want to take revenge but I know that wouldn’t help anyone.
|
aspergers
|
Make next weekend my last weekend on this earth then I’m outta here. I don’t give a fuck anymore everything is shitty and nobody cares about me not even my parents it’s fucking sad. Follow my Twitter though lol @conmiguitarra_ I play songs on there n stuff
|
depression
|
Hey guys! I’m new here, but I joined because I could use the support and advice! I have a 9 year old son that has been showing symptoms of ADD for about two years now.
It’s now become a huge struggle for him to do schoolwork, stay on task, and focus. He’s a very awesome kid, he’s very kind and super creative and loves building and making things. Last school year his teacher told me he always had to be reminded to stay on task, and was easily distracted. I’ve noticed that at home as well, we have sat down talking about something and he gets really excited and switches subjects every 20 seconds lol. Otherwise his behavior was great at school.
Well this year, it’s gotten a lot worse. So much that the principal emailed me and said he was concerned with his school work, because he would step into class and see how easily distracted he gets and he’s missing a lot of work, and not finishing class work. We had a rough start because right when October came around, I caught COVID and my husband did as well. So we had to get through that and I didn’t have much energy to help with homework. Then my chronic stomach illness hit me for a week. So me being sick didn’t help at all.
Now that the insanity of October is behind us, I’m tasked with the job of getting my son back on track and making sure we do homework every night. I also made the decision to make a doctors appointment so we can get a diagnosis and go from there. I have a family history of addiction and I was just really worried about the possibility of him having to be on medication so young. It just hurts too much to see him struggle like that with school and I have to begin the process.
I parent in a way that I never pressured my kids too much when it came to school. I have always told them I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect them to try their best and do well in subjects that come easily for them. So I sat down with my son last night and explained what was going on, told him nobody is mad at him because we know ADD makes things tough, but that we do have to find tricks that will help. So I asked him to tell me if there was anything I could do personally to motivate and help him.
So my question is, what helped you? If you have a tip or trick that I can try with him, I would greatly appreciate it!
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ADHD
|
Does anyone feel like they missed out because they never had those experiences?
I thought I was Asexual for a long time because I felt no sexual desire and medication killed what little libido I had left. As I’m recovering, I feel inadequate because I never had the experiences.
How has depression affected your sex life?
|
depression
|
Hi guys, i’m thinking about my thesis since i just started my last year on university, i study communication design and i’m thinking about doing something about how to make it easier for autistics to understand communication (ads, commercials, identity design, etc). Do you guys have any tips or ideas so i can develop this further? As aspies, are there problems you have with ads/commercials/identity design/ etc? Thank you!!
|
aspergers
|
I had been putting off cleaning my bathroom until tonight. I cleaned the toilet with a bleach based cleaner, fretted about cross contaminating everything with bleach, washed my hands a bunch of times, then went to take a shower in a different bathroom. When I came back, I could still slightly smell the bleach when walking past the bathroom. I have turned on the bathroom fan in there (why didn’t I think of doing that earlier??) and it smells better, but I’m paranoid about all of the contamination that the gaseous bleach could have caused. My hair brush is in that bathroom and I need to use it. I’m sure it’s not enough to bleach my hair, but like my mind is saying “what if it actually is??” I’m also worried about putting on my glasses after using the hair brush and somehow bleaching them too. Can someone help me work through why this is illogical? If not that’s okay, it helped to just vent as well.
|
OCD
|
Whenever I try to post my story to this subreddit, it gets deleted. I have no notification that it was removed, and there is no evidence the posts even existed at all? I am scared that my abusers has somehow hacked my account. He did have access to my phone in the past, but I made this account with a new email. He does have some experience hacking though. I don’t know if I am just being paranoid though :(?
|
ptsd
|
Has anyone participated in EMDR therapy before? I am going to a new therapist who specializes in OCD and anxiety disorders and she has recommended it as my new treatment path. I have found some websites and scientific journals to read in attempt to understand it, but I would love to hear some personal stories as well. Thank you!
|
OCD
|
I waited simply too long to talk to someone, to seek medication, and to even accept I had a mental illness. I feel like I could have easily spiraled to the point of no return so many times.
I finally booked my therapy appointment and I cant wait. I saw a Psychiatrist already and told them I have told them my symptoms and he prescribed me fluvoxamine and its been working well.
|
OCD
|
Can any of you relate to this? I've never been officially diagnosed as having OCD, but this has been a problem for me for a while now. I don't know if this would fall under the category of OCD or maladaptive perfectionism; it may be the latter but the constant checking and fixating sometimes has me thinking it may be OCD.
I'm extremely careful with all of my belongings, and if anything out of the ordinary should happen that might damage one of my things even in the slightest, I get very upset, anxious.
Some examples:
1) "I closed the keyboard tray too hard... Did I make it crooked? Was it crooked before?" The question of whether it was like that before haunted me for days. I checked over and over again.
2) "I nicked my favorite mug... damn... damn... wait... did I nick it, or was it like this before?" This also made me very upset. It's a nick you can barely notice. I obsessed over whether the nick was there before, or if I made it while putting away the dishes.
3) "I plugged my headphones into an amplifier I probably shouldn't have, with the volume too loud... Did this damage them slightly? Has this changed the frequency response, or the left-right balance?" I obsessed over this for days, trying different songs on my headphones to check them. The idea that the frequency response may have been compromised somewhat and that I would never know the answer drove me crazy. (I also write and record songs - this is where my tendency to fixate really rears its ugly head. I'll obsess for weeks over the tiniest, most minute detail of a mix, and check it over, and over, and over again. It causes me great suffering and anxiety. But again, I don't know if this would fall under the umbrella of OCD, or maladaptive perfectionism.)
4) "I accidentally sat on my phone the other day... is it bent now? I feel like it's slightly bent." This is the latest one that has tortured me for days now. I think I've identified a half millimeter bend up top, but I'm not really sure. I keep checking over and over again. Now I feel like the phone feels differently in my hands now, like it's less 'balanced'. Is it just in my head? Are my eyes playing tricks on me? I'm fairly sure though it's now bent by half a millimeter. This has been very, very upsetting for me - to the point that I've considered just not using a smartphone anymore. I realize how ridiculous this is but it's so difficult for me to snap out of it. I fixate.
The only thing I've found that helps me is to tell myself, "oh ok, well, that little nick, or that little crooked part, that's how I can tell that it's mine. That's its little quirk. It's special now and different from all others." I might even name the object based on its flaw. This soothes the anxiety a bit and helps me feel a little bit better.
I've named my phone "Bendy Black The Straight Edge Jack." It's still very upsetting though. Even now as I type this on my phone, I feel like the phone doesn't feel right, not quite like it did before. I just can't stop thinking about it.
The end result is that I'm so careful with all of my belongings, I hold them in my hands like they're newborn babies or something; I'm terrified that something might happen to them. It becomes quite silly. What's strange is that I didn't used to be this way. Those of you who might have the same problem: were you always this way?
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OCD
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So i have a lot of rituals/compulsions that I do repetitively and constantly at the fear that not completing then will result in horrible things I don’t want to put in writing.
But I’ve never told anyone and although my family notice that I’m slightly different, I feel slightly weird about talking about it.
Should I go and get a diagnosis? It means I’ll have to open up about things I don’t want to talk about (because acknowledging them feels like it will give the thoughts some truth) so im not sure. It also means I’ll have to talk to my parents about it and that would be uncomfortable :/.
Any suggestions, any one gone through the same thing?
Thank you 🙏
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OCD
|
Then apparently the guy doesnt want to hang out, but youre friends start begging him.
In my head i scream.
The guy says "aight, ok"
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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aspergers
|
I have a friend with ocd..
How could i help her to get over it?
I really wanna help her..
|
OCD
|
I've had a lot of struggles with school. On top of adhd I had and abusive dad and toxic friends for a while. Graduating was really hard and yet last year I did it exceptionally well. I recently applied to university and got accepted into my second choice the day after. I feel so excited and proud of myself and I feel so much like I'm finally getting somewhere.
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ADHD
|
I’ve been battling this for years now and I still don’t know the answer. I feel like a piece of shit. I feel like I act like a piece of shit, but at the same time I know I try to act with the best intentions even though I don’t a lot of the time.
I really would like to kill myself to rid the world of my existence, but at the same time the guilt I feel having those thoughts and the worry that my family would somehow feel like it’s their fault, and in the off chance that they’d be sad I’m gone is keeping me alive.
I have no support group, no one to talk to to tell me if what I feel is true, and honestly I’d be too scared to ask for fear that my suspicions are true.
Idk what to do.
Another theory I have is that my depression is holding me back from genuinely being someone that people enjoy being around, but also I feel like that’s not an excuse and I should just suck it up and quit being a little bitch.
Just felt like I needed to throw these thoughts out there and maybe get some feedback I don’t know man. I’m just sick of feeling like this and having to think about it all day every day…
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depression
|
Does anyone else feel like this? Recently got back on Vyvanse 30mg after quitting it 5-6 years ago due to my Alcoholism and recreational random drugs I used. Granted, I know meds over time can wear off at certain doses and you need a dosage increase or a med switch, but damn I didn't realize how much I can't focus until I take the meds again.
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ADHD
|
Hi everyone.
Has anyone tried to lift their depression a bit by adding more colour in their home?
I have love hate relationship with colour. I seem to enjoy colour in nature, home decor I see on Pinterest. Occassionally I think maybe I can have colourful home and help myself bit more but by the time I get round to buy something more cheerful I’m back to thinking I should stick to few boring colours.
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depression
|
Hello im looking for friends
Here's a bit about myself:
.im a sophomore in college working on a major in English
.in my spare time i like to make music and write
.i also like spending time working out
.sometimes i like to edit photos
.my favorite genre of music is black metal and my favorite artist is leviathan
Hit me up on Instagram @lurker_of_malice
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aspergers
|
To give a rough overview of myself, I've been stimming for as long as I can remember when I was a child, but only when I'm extremely happy/engaging in my interests. It's pretty embarrassing when it happens in front of other people as I essentially flail my limbs around somewhat. I've never had a professional diagnosis of autism/Asperger's, although I have the initial appointment this Friday and will hopefully be able to get a referral. I've long suspected there was something wrong with me but I wasn't sure what for years until I read a description of Asperger's syndrome.
I'm simply looking if anybody has any methods or techniques for getting stimming under control, as the way I do it is pretty intense and extremely difficult to stop once it's started, and it just really hurts when people point it out as I can't control it.
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aspergers
|
I guess I will start off with my situation. I've never told any of this to an irl person but since its anonymous here I guess I might as well get into it.
My dad was in the military for until I was 3/4 and after that he had to work very long hours to support my family. I have six siblings and my mom doesn't work so it was very hard for him. I don't really blame him for not being around, but it definitely caused a lot of issues later down the road.
My mom has a lot of issues herself, she comes from an abusive family and I think the stress of having so many kids and constantly being on the verge of bankruptcy really tolled on her. She was usually really tense around us. A few times she would yell at me or my sister and she would throw us to the ground or push us against the wall while yelling (which she never did with my brothers). I honestly don't blame her too much for this, the worst part of it was that because she was so volatile and my dad was so absent I didn't really trust them and wouldn't come to them if I had issues.
This got very bad when my dad decided he wanted to become a pastor. The other girls would bully my sister and I badly and we found out quickly that we weren't supposed to fight back or even complain because if those kids told their parents that we were being mean, it might mean those parents leave the church and reject god and burn in hell for all eternity. I took the stress of this very hard and was constantly afraid of messing up because I didn't want my friends or even my bullies to go to hell and I didn't want to bother my parents because they had so many issues with the parents and money and general life stress anyways.
The first time my best friends (I'll call her J) brother touched me I was six, and I probably just didn't know any better. As I got older I was too afraid to tell my parents about it. I thought J would go to hell if I told because my parents would be mad and their family would probably have to leave the church. I thought my parents might not believe me because I didn't tell them when it first starting happening. Worst of all I thought my parents might accuse me of liking it because I would have told him no or fought him off if I didn't.
I should note I was homeschooled, I didn't have any adults who I felt really comfortable around. My mom was always pitting me and my siblings against each other (stopping us during a fight to call one of us out as a bitch who liked causing problems, having another siblings announce the answer to a test problem we got wrong and then saying the other sibling was stupid for not understanding the answer, etc). Because of this I never told anyone, it only stopped when I was 12 and his family left the church for other reasons. I am 17 now and no one knows besides two very close friends, who I have still told only the bare minimum too.
I have had bad anxiety nearly as long as I can remember, but it got really bad after he went away. I think I heard my parents talking about how desirable my sister was because of her many suitors (she is five years older than me so she would have been 17 at the time) and my friends bragging about their romantic encounters that I had tied my self worth up in the fact that he was doing that to me.
I started really closing myself off after this incident. I developed a fake persona to use around my friends and family who was nicer and kinda stupid so she could get out of answering questions. Because of this I started questioning who I was, who I would have been had none of it ever happened, if I had actual worth as a human being or if I was just some stupid sex doll or if I was even good enough to be a sex doll or just stupid and quiet and a pushover.
I started getting really bad panic attacks. Once on a fieldtrip I had to share a bed with my new friend, K, and even though I trust K more than anything the parallels to sleepovers at J's were very strong and I had a mini attack in the bathroom before bed. The worse part was that my chaperone wanted to make sure that we went to bed so she sat in a chair and watched over us and all I spent the next half hour pleading with myself not to make a scene because it wasn't him and I didn't need to freak out just because there was a shadowy figure standing over me. I didn't sleep well at all and spent the rest of the next day having on/off attacks.
J was a few years younger than me so she was in still in middle school when I started in highschool and I didn't really have to see her. Now she is in highschool with me and everytime I see her in the halls I have to fight down attacks or even disassociate as I have done a few times. She also kept trying to tell people about our history and how I was a bad friend but I don't think she ever realized what her brother was doing to me so I couldn't confront her. About the time this was getting very bad I opened up to K about it a very little bit (told her I had been raped, didn't tell her about J). I felt like absolute shit after opening up to her. I skipped school to avoid her and had one of the worst depression slumps of my life until K came out to me as gay and I felt better because I had an equal amount of dirt on her as she had on me. Terrible, I know, but that what my mind thought at the end of that week.
I started having nightmares. Nearly evernight I would need to turn on the lights in my room and check under the bed, in the closet, even behind the furniture to make sure he wasn't there. I would often do this in every room of the house before feeling safe enough to go back to sleep. Sometimes I would wake up from a nightmare and need to grab a knife and press myself into the coroner of my room and wait for hours before I felt safe enough to try and sleep again.
In 10th grade he tried to kill his wife in front of his baby and it got way worse. I was afraid for my life, I made passing remarks to my friends about how I was pretty sure I was gonna die any day now and I wanted them to know I loved them just in case. K confronted me about this and I told her a little bit about it. She did not respond how I thought she would, she told me that I had a moral responsibility to tell someone because he might end up raping or killing someone else and it would be my fault (she said it much nicer I know because she never told anyone my secret, but thats how it stuck with me). I had never considered it like this. His wife, his baby, everything that happens to them is my fault for pussyfooting around with this. Worse even, everytime I saw J walking around with friends I thought "They might be getting molested too and its my fault".
I had always had low esteem before, but at this point I started to genuinely hate myself. I started experimenting with self harm at this point. I also started wearing heavy jackets, not just to cover up the scars but because I found if people touched me I would be sent off into a panic attack. I am just barely getting over the jacket and the panic attacks are still there, I am trying to get over them but it is a slow going process.
At this point I met T who is now one of my closest friends. I told T far less than I ever told K but she seemed to take it more seriously, and said she was always there to talk too, something I fervently believe is true but will never take her up on. I also had closer to a month of feeling like shit after opening up like I did with K until T came out to me as bisexual.
It was at this point I realized the reason I gravitated towards LGBT people is because I am a lesbian. I struggled a lot with internalized homophobia during this time and at one point had convinced myself that it was a coping mechanism for getting over my abuser.
We went on another school trip, this time with K, T, another girl called N, and myself. I forget what set me off but I had a panic attack so badly that I hid in the hotel closet with the lights off for hours before T found me. I brushed it off as myself being quirky but quickly left the hotel room and hid in the hallway behind a vending machine to cry some more. I didn't return for a few hours but they didn't really notice.
This all happened in 10th grade, and 11th was admittedly a lot better. I came to terms with my sexuality, I started trying to be more authentic to my true self than to the persona I made to deal with my issues, I stopped self harming.
Then corona hit. At the very same time we found out that my dad has a lethal TBI which he gained during his military service and has five years left to live. I stopped interacting with my friends and it seems like everything got so much worse than it ever had been.
I spend days in bed, often clutching a knife in hand. The nightmares have come back. I spend hours a day convincing myself that T would hate me if she knew I never said anything even though other people are getting hurt. I had to get a job just to drag myself out of bed in the morning. I started failing all my classes which my parents are very upset about and I don't know what to give them for an explanation. I started self harming again far worse than before. I used to make little nicks on my arms just to distract myself, now I'm doing it because I have lied to every single person in my life and they don't even know what a serious asshole I am and I know they'll just leave when they inevitably find out so why not? Its what I deserve and it makes me think about the pain instead of how I've fucked up every aspect of my life possible for a few hours. I've considered suicide, but I don't want to go that far while I still have the hope that maybe it'll get better when I leave this city behind.
As the school year gets closer to ending I realize that I am faced with a choice: Tell my dad I'm gay and have him never talk to me again and probably not get invited to the funeral, or not tell him and force myself to be this stupid asshole who I hate for five years longer and then get disowned after the funeral. I spend literal hours lying in bed trying to decide. I do shit with my family and feel like shit because I know when they find out who I really am they will despise me and I can't even blame them.
And there we have it my lifes issues in a summary. I really don't know what I want from the people reading this but I just had to get that off my chest. I feel like shit and I have no one to talk to so I guess I just have to scream it to strangers on the internet. Thank you for reading all this.
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ptsd
|
I just recently switched from the short acting adderall to the long lasting adderall. I did fine with the short acting stuff but this is week two of extended release and I’ve noticed that as soon as my medication wears off my anxiety returns with a vengeance and I have really bad panic attacks and paranoia. My doctor said to give it a few weeks but I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. Has anyone else had these symptoms? Do they get better?
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ADHD
|
I’ve suffered from depression for most of my life, but just lately i’ve been having these episodes where i can be completely fine one minute and extremely sad the next. even now my whole family is enjoying each other and im upstairs because i don’t want to ruin anyone else’s mood or try to fake a smile. i just wish it was all over.
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depression
|
Well, these past few months I've been having these thoughts and I really don't like it and it's really making me feel like a bad person. When I get these thoughts, I'd be defensive over it and don't really want to accept it or I would just think it would make me a bad person, then overtime It stops getting as bad, and I feel like it is me becoming a bad person. May someone please help me?
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OCD
|
I’m a traffic controller working on a major rail project in Melbourne. I’m one of the newer ones on the project, so some of the more tenured people have been a bit cautious of me. However, I’ve turned most of them around and 99% of time we all have a great day at work.
Today, however, things did not go well. A woman who works on the project (let’s call her Wendy) is pretty cold and I’ve struggled to make a connection - no big deal right?
So today, there was a spare car parking space in her gate that she looks after. I walked over to her and asked if it was ok I moved my work Ute there. She said “yep that’s fine, just park on a angle so it easier to get in and out”.
“Ok” I said, walked over to my Ute, started it and drove over to the gate.
All of the sudden Wendy comes running to my car screaming (genuinely screaming) “WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CANT PARK HERE, MOVE YOUR UTE”
Clearly, very confused I said “Wendy you literally just said I could park here - what’s the problem?”
She said, again screaming “well you didn’t f*cking listen did you you idiot, move your f*cling Ute now”
I replied “ok Wendy, calm down - I’ll park somewhere else” and quickly reversed to get out of the situation.
Once I was parked, I was over come with the most intense rage I think I have ever felt in my life. I saw red. Who does she think she is talking to me like something she would step on? All I could think of doing was walking over to her a punching her clean in the face.
Instead I kept my distance from her all day and have refused to work anywhere that she will be from now on.
My question is around anger and ADHD. I have never once been an angry person, in fact I find it hard to relate to ADHD examples of anger. But today i felt genuinely like I could have done anything to make myself feel better and in that moment it was something violent.
In the end, I did not do that - I spoke to my wife and a few trusted people and explained the situation; they were all as flabbergasted as I was.
Long and short of it, I’m still full of rage and I’m not sure how to get on top of it.
TLDR: how angry do you get with ADHD? Is it minor or extreme? How do you over come it?
UPDATE: Thank you all for your comments and reassurances. It’s definitely made me feel like I’m not the only the only who can get like this. I’ve followed a lot of your advice and I’ve written into the office to explain what happened - I also spoke to my site supervisor and asked that I’m not put anywhere near her moving forward due to how she made me feel. He agreed so hopefully moving forward the distance between us will be big enough that there will be no interaction.
Unfortunately in traffic control, we are all casual workers so raising your voice when something isn’t right can sometimes back fire and you can find yourself with no work. If that happens, so be it - I will find another job because I don’t want to work for a company that would allow that type of verbal abuse towards another colleague.
I’m back on the project tomorrow so we will see what happens!
Thank you again reddit, you’re the best!
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ADHD
|
Hey I’ve been struggling with Real Event OCD and tried to do an exposure tonight on my own (I’m unable to get in with a specialist just yet but have been learning a ton about ocd just off research). I had tried on a shirt from Target and gotten a tiny bit of makeup on the inside of it. Nothing that shows on the outside and honestly somethin I’d still buy as a customer no doubt , it hardly showed. I returned it to Target and now I’m having mixed feelings. I was hoping it would help with my perfectionist mindset and my struggles with areas of grey. Was this a good exposure ?
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OCD
|
I don't see any more meaning in my life, before the pandemic I had objective dreams and now I feel lost I have no friends I feel very lonely I stay all day locked in my room just waiting for the day to pass Summing up my life is a loopin Me I feel tired and sad all the time No longer interested in anything and no one and to make things worse my family thinks I'm lazy I only think about negative things until suicide I've thought about it Even researched to see how it's done I currently don't see a future In my life I feel like a walking burden to my mother that makes me even worse I no longer have an appetite I've lost a lot of weight I don't care about my appearance anymore, I don't even have the energy to shower. It's been a week since I had a bath.
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depression
|
So for past years My main ritual compulse is writing down phrases or key words and/Or saying them a lot in my head so I don’t forget. Also stems from this worrying I’ll lose my data or memories. ( like all my photos will disappear etc. ) and these phrases are Almost like a to-do list. My brain is wired like this and I don’t know how else to think and remember. Is this in fact OCD and how can I stop this?
Background info. I have bad memory ( weed and I used to do xanny bars). Is this just my ocd or is it me trying to fix myself. Yet a combo of lazy comfort and bad memory disabling me ? Also I dwell in past a lot. I am a loner with no job also. Idk if that matters but yeah
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OCD
|
Just wanted to put this out there for anyone who may not have considered they may be having something else going on besides just ocd. For me I go into what I now understand are manic highs where I feel cured of my OCD, productive, excitable, and unstoppable. A few days or weeks later I either get triggered by reading something related to my obsessions or I simply feel myself fall back into a miserable spell of anxiety and sadness without being triggered by anything. And then the cycle repeats.
Lamotrigine has been a game changer. I am by no means cured of my OCD, but I would now describe myself as quite high-functioning every single everyday. I no longer slip into this crying sucidal spell. I can panic a bit and then get distracted and move on. I really hope as my dosage increases that it will improve things even more!
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OCD
|
a few months ago, i posted about how my ocd was taking over my hobby, which is digital art. some people reached out to me, and it helped quite a lot. so, to the people who helped me, thank you. this was one of my few hobbies, and my ocd completely prevented me from doing it for way too long. im now able to finish pieces completely digitally. while some ocd is still there, and i dont think it will ever go away completely, its so much better than, lets say, last october. last year i definitely wasnt able to do this. (i wish i was able to post a photo, but either this subreddit doesnt allow it or i just dont know how)
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OCD
|
Been on and off meds and in and out of counseling for years. Recently my OCD has gotten pretty rough - specifically obsessive and rumination thoughts (not so much random intrusion).
What's the best med you've been on to help this? I was on Prozac for a while and remember it helping but it definitely hurt my libido.
Also trying to watch out for side effects of weight gain as I am overweight and trying to lose...
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OCD
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