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[true kinda love](https://youtu.be/zTrMZEmQ8Zk)
it makes me acknowledge even though they are hardships there is still hope.
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ptsd
|
So I have ptsd I’m not sure if it relates to the problem I’m having but I’m desperately trying to figure out what’s going on. Essentially When exposed to a trigger big enough my brain short circuits or something. I loose a chunk of time where I can’t remember anything. I can look back at texts or ask people around me but it doesn’t happen often enough around people or where I text someone. It’s started happening more often and it’s starting to interfere with relationships and my safety.
When I kinda snap out of it or am aware and in control I can remember things I immediately go into a state of heavy dissociation and often I can’t move because of it.
It’s so disorienting and I can’t figure out what it is or how to stop it from happening. I can’t see my psychiatrist because of covid.
Does anyone else experience this or know what’s happening??
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ptsd
|
Does it feel like you'd engage in or be okay with engaging in what your OCD fear is? I have had an OCD fear of cuckoldry like I fear that I have a cuckold fetish. It just feels like I can engage in cuckoldry, like its a possibility I'll allow, Idk why this is happening to me.
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OCD
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My brain has just been looking for some life changing event to obsess over. As soon as I calm down over one thing, it will bring up another.
“What if curse”
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OCD
|
Hey everyone! I (mostly) recovered from OCD symptoms about 20 years ago but unfortunately this shit is genetic. My symptoms started when I was about 9 years old and became serious enough to warrant my parents’ attention at about 12. My son is now following that same path. He’s been taking antidepressants since he was 10, but since last year we were forced to add an antipsychotic to deal with the intrusive thoughts and obsession with those thoughts.
He is doing much better and is functional again, can attend school, isn’t afraid to go out in public, etc.. Unfortunately over the past year he’s gone from a healthy 100 pound 12 year old to a morbidly obese 180 pound 13 year old. I have done everything I can think of to help control his eating habits and appetite including locking up all the food and strictly limiting his food choices. Today at the doctor I saw he had gained another ten pounds this month. I am at my wit’s end! I was wondering if anyone here has had any experience with Latuda which is supposed to be more weight neutral. I know it’s not approved for children to treat OCD but I think we could figure out a work around as it is approved for bipolar disorder in children.
Does it help with your OCD symptoms? Did you gain or lose weight? Thank you!!
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OCD
|
I am so done. I feel so heavily depressed and suicidal. Like I won't actually go as far as to k*ll myself, but I pray every second that I would just move on from this life. Somehow I forget to breathe or God just decide to take me from all the sorrow I'm feeling.
I'm gay but I'm also religious. In my religion I'm not supposed to act on my "gayness". Meaning I have to be single forever or fake it with a women and be miserable. My family is extremely homophobic. Coming from Arab/African family, I would be killed if they found out. Like they will actually disown me. As a kid, I would hear them talk so much shit about any feminine man they see on screen. It's so fucking depressing.
I go out and see couples holding hands, longing to be loved and to be intimate with someone. I feel so let down by this life. Like why would God forbid me to be happy. There's this huge emptiness in my chest I can't describe. Like the emotional pain is so unbearable that I'm legit feeling physical pain in my chest and back.
I was also mol*sted when I was a kid. So it's even more sad the fact that my "first time" is not as beautiful and romantic as others I see and hear of.
I have really bad social anxiety that I barely go out. Yesterday I went out to the mall, trying to leave my comfort zone. I got so anxious over the slightest stares I would get. Got to the point of me almost having a mental breakdown. Had to sit down and just stare down at my feet. Saw so many guys my age. Hanging out with their friends in groups or would be with their girlfriends and i would feel so exiled and lonely.
This is prolly boring to read since I touched some random parts that I struggle with. But I really need some support. Idk, say anything that can help. My heart feels so heavy.
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depression
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i hate feeling this helpless with something so within my control… it’s just so exhausting to have to constantly do work with virtually no reward but then it all piles up.
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depression
|
I’m 15, diagnosed with depression in October 2020 when i was 14 years old. Struggled for many years before hand and recently been put on anti depressants. But oh my god. You just feel awful. I feel like such a burden to everyone, i must make everyone’s lives so miserable, my mum having to take me to 4 doctors appointments a week, having to pick up my prescription. My friends having to deal with my unstable emotions- my changes in emotions and how quickly they change. My boyfriend having to deal with everything, with my trust issues, with my constant need for reassurance. It’s an awful feeling, not only do i suffer with depression- i suffer with the impact I LEAVE on other people. It’s horrible.
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depression
|
TLDR; seeking recommendations on open minded, empathetic psychiatrist in Sydney.
Hi adhd redditors. Long time lurker, first time poster here.
I firstly need to thank all the people who have put time and effort into responding to the many questions that are asked here. I’ve been helped by countless questions and answers, particularly during the very tough months of waiting for a diagnoses so thank you. I look forward to a time where I have the time and mental capacity to help out here when I can.
Secondly, it’d be incredible to hear the recommendations on any Sydney based psychiatrists. I’ve been seeing a bloke who has helped me a lot however we disagree on a particular matter so would like a second opinion.
I am looking for a psychiatrist who is perhaps more open minded than their colleagues. Someone who is a critical thinker however empathetic and open to discussion. Any recommendation would be valuable.
Thanking you kindly in advance,
Long time lurker, first time poster.
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ADHD
|
I feel like before my OCD poked it's head out, it was a lot easier to get rid of my intrusive thoughts. Like yeah, now I know that the thoughts are thoughts and not desires, which is good. But, like I still focus on the thought more because I know that they're thoughts and I focus too much on letting the thoughts pass if that makes sense? Before I found out, most of them would fade away overnight/in a few days, but now when i get up, it's like, "alright, i gotta remember to not dwell on the thoughts about ______" and it's pretty annoying. Like I'm honestly okay with overthinking(not okay, exactly, but idk how else to word it) as long as my brain isn't looking for things to overthink about, which is exactly what it's doing. It's just too much unneeded mental strain. I'd like to just forget that I have OCD because even though I'd have more anxiety about who i am, it's still better than trying to not try(?) to not think about the thoughts.
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OCD
|
You don't have life after This happend. You wake up, i mean it's a lot to say, cause i know you didn't even slept. You were unable to. Constantly having this thoughts, you just can't forget. Family is telling you "you will be fine honey, go over it. But you can't. Nobody understands, sometimes you don't even understand. People make their careers, travel, just enjoy things. You don't, you can't remeber what is like to "enjoy" things. Constantly thinking on how to survive this day, and then another. Never ending nightmare.
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ptsd
|
Van varias veces que tengo crisis que me llevan a intentar suicidarme no se para que seguir no sé si tengo depresión o algo malo anda conmigo pero no quiero seguir sintiéndome así y no sé cómo parar.
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depression
|
My god, it doesn't get any easier. I was bitten by the self-improvement bug in my late teens, small larval-stage, incremental steps - exposure to difficult social situations, locking myself into arrangements (booking an acting class, enrolling at the gym, rsvp networking events). The promise was that eventually, one day, I'd 'get it', get over the hump, by jumping the hurdles, through diligence and commitment.
I'm 35 now. What's changed? Energy levels. Inertia and anhedonia are featuring more and vitality and lust for life is scarcer. I have learned a lot and I'm grateful, but it's still the basic things in life that perturb, that unsettle, I'm disappointed I'm unable to grasp. Everyday bewildered. Everyday inconsistent - empty of all thought or on high-alert. I get the feeling if I reach old age, I'll look back and think: What the actual fuck was that all about? I'm scared I'll think: It wasn't worth it.
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aspergers
|
Almost 2 years ago, I had a pretty traumatic LSD experience that has fuck me up since. The first couple months after was absolute hell which made me the most depressed I’ve ever been. I still have anxiety and mini panic attacks but they have SLOWLY been getting better. I’ve gone this whole time without telling anyone about this and now I feel I need to conquer this. Any conversation about drugs triggers major anxiety and I have to walk away from the convo if it get too bad. Has anyone gone through a similar experience? And if so, has anyone been able to subdue it with therapy? Medication? I’ve tried almost everything besides consulting to a doctor including a better diet, meditation, and exercise.
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ptsd
|
TW- bleeding
I got my iud placed in June of 2020, and it was great until about April of this year. It started with spotting, then all the time bleeding, and then one of the worst periods I have ever experienced (and mine were pretty bad to start)
BUT what I originally failed to notice, is that my OCD symptoms became alarmingly bad. To the point that I was broken up with by my favorite person. He had no clue what was causing me to be so out of the norm, I pushed boundaries that I shouldn't have, and I effed stuff up.
The day after we broke up, I was so tired of bleeding and didn't need birth control that I just....pulled out my mirena on my own lol
Within a few days, it was like I had all of the lucidity and clarity. I still have my normal OCD, but none of the extra nightmare I'd been dealing with. I researched and found a few case studies regarding OCD and the effects of a mirena.
So this is your PSA to speak openly to your doctor if you're going to be getting an IUD or have an increase in symptoms.
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OCD
|
I am a male who just turned 18yo. I've always had instructive thoughts, an anxiety problem for most of my life. I had a sexual act with my cousin when I was very young (she was young too). I've got into huge porn, masturbation addiction since when I was a young age (10or11). I tried to stop this but failed miserably.
Since a year ago I got into an adult voice work (just like porn but no video just ASMR) I would only listen to wholesome works. But long after I changed my genre to "incest", "younger sister" but I would make sure that "rape" is not included. I don't know how to feel about this because I know this is just voicework. Stopped listening to it recently.
So when I was 17 I was scrolling on TikTok in my bed and I watched a video about a warning from something. I was curious about that and searched it up and what I found was a video (underage girl masturbating). I watched it.
I knew what I was watching was a really wrong thing but I just couldn't stop it and started to masturbate. And I got huge excitement carried away by that and searched for CP, then I suddenly snapped back into reality and realized wtf I was doing. Reported the video and deleted my history.
I just moved on by telling myself that I would never search for things like that. I didn't really felt guilty or regretful about that maybe because I was thinking of myself as a kid too(which is the dumbest thing I've ever told to myself). Last year in October I've got into HOCD, and learned all the OCD things (it's still here but it got a little better compared to that time). 1 or 2 months later I had an obsession with if I am P or not. I would sometimes glance quickly at kids to check if I am getting attracted or not. I was trying not to think that much and just ignored the thoughts I thought I finally got over it.
Pretty much later, one day I saw a real CP pic in the betting site's community section. It was so sudden, I was in shock and triggered so hard. I reported it immediately. But I suddenly remembered what I did in the past. I felt so guilty and anxious my chest would feel heavy. It would take few days to get over it. I started to think what I did was because of all the porn I watch. I was pretty much bored from porn and the taboo thing just gave me excitement. Since that the instructive thoughts came back.
One or two months ago I was researching about P, like "How do I know if I am P", or something like that. And I found a cropped pic from CP site which is got turn down, it was mentioned for an educational purpose. In the pic there was a young girl in a very inappropriate pose and enough to tell naked. That gave me arousal and I lost control ready to search it up from dark web, luckily I stopped myself and immediately got panic attack, felt so heavy in the chest, so much guilt and anxiety, fear for what I was about to do and the thing did in the past. I couldn't even walk, my whole body felt so numb, I barely took a bath. I wanted to cry but the tears just didn't come out, wishing tomorrow I would feel better.
I've never sexually attracted to children. I would get angry with my friend when he jokes about something stupid. I genuinely hate P's. I even spent a whole 3 months with my younger cousin's when I was 16. Felt nothing didn't even care about them too much.
But now I don't feel any anxiety at all I'm just so tired of the instructive thoughts that comes in my mind, quickly glancing at every child I got across in the streets to check myself. I can't afford any therapist. I have entrance exams in 2 weeks I can't even focus on my studies. My only dream was to have a happy life nothing else. Even if I would get a good life I feel like I don't deserve it.
Sorry for the long post felt like it would ease my thoughts. Any help, suggestion would help me a lot.
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OCD
|
Shits so hard rn I cried my eyes out to my friends earlier and still couldn’t tell them what I was worried about cause I feel so guilty about it.
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OCD
|
The response to this article has been overwhelming over the two days since it’s been posted. As much as I’ve heard “this has helped me so much”, I wanted to expand it’s reach. Much love to everyone on this journey. You are loved. You are enough. It’s not your fault. ❤️
[A Step-by-Guide to Surviving Trauma. ](https://www.elephantjournal.com/2021/02/a-step-by-step-survivors-guide-to-trauma/)
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ptsd
|
I’m posting this in the hope that there might be some advice or help out there. I’m 28(f) and from the UK. I’m sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but I’m finding it difficult to write what I want to say.
There seems to be a surge in people with ADHD posting about their difficulties on social media, I’ve been watching a lot on TikTok. And the symptoms they describe resonate with me so much, and explain the way I feel. For example, my mind is so overloaded with different trains of thoughts and conversations, the same song on repeat. I honestly didn’t realise that not everyone always has a song in their head. I cannot sit still but perhaps not in an obvious way, I have to be moving; tapping my foot or playing with something. I get very very excited and focussed on one activity or hobby and make commitments that I cannot keep. There are various other symptoms but these are the main ones.
If there’s a chance that I do have ADHD and there’s something someone can do about it, I’d really like to explore that possibility. The thought that there may be a way I can quieten my mind honestly makes me want to cry at the thought of relief. But I just don’t know if I would qualify - I did well in school until university when I was in a traumatic car accident. So I fear any concerns I have over this will be put down to PTSD.
With the way our health system can be, I’m just too afraid to try. And I don’t think my family would be supportive - they would think I’m just being dramatic.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated.
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ADHD
|
I've written about a dozen posts about this on here. 7 months ago I watched a video about schizophrenia and then researched all the symptoms for about a month, now over half a year later I'm still nearly paralyzed with fear and have constant headaches because of it.
Fear of delusions have me pretty much fucked. Every time I talk to someone my inner thoughts suggest they can read my mind, and I'll feel as if I believe they can... I know they aren't, so then my brain brings up the truman show delusion to explain why they are faking like they can't read my mind... and I'm constantly stuck in fear thinking I'm going to develop full blown psychosis because these thoughts keep happening.
Before I researched about them, I had no idea these viewpoints existed, life was beautiful to me, everything made sense, science was beautiful, learning things was beautiful... now my mind questions every thought that pops into my mind.
I've done erp with a few "delusions" and got them taken care of pretty well... the ones that involve actual other people though, seem impossible.
I'll be having a conversation with a friend and then all of a sudden I'll remember a symptom of schizophrenia and on the spot replicate what i think it would feel like to be actually experiencing it...
They say with ERP you're supposed to go head-on into your worst fear... mind is believing that people can read my minds and life is a play mean't to torture me. So for ERP I'm supposed to just believe it... but the thing is, believing it feels dangerous as fuck. Feels like if I give it too much attention I'll actually do something drastic based on the delusions.
I've had a headache for 7 months because of the constant stress and fear, analyzing every fucking thought, then when I do have a "normal" moment or thought train, it gets noticed by me and then derailed by my OCD. Like, oh, remember you're supposed to be worried about this!
Thanks God.
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OCD
|
It's far too easy to disregard our self care needs in times we are struggling, whether our brains are too busy, we are too unmotivated or we simply feel as if we don't deserve it: but you do.
Please do something for yourself today, big or small or do many things and leave a comment below on what it was and how it made you feel.
I want to read them and I want you to feel worthy of this activity today. ❤
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OCD
|
Let’s say you had a weird or bad dream. Chances are you will ignore it upon reflecting on it in the morning.
Now let’s say you have a nightmare involving your greatest fear. It’s tougher to let go. And this nightmare recurs, every night. Now you might be afraid to fall asleep, or seek measures to achieve peaceful sleep.
You’re feeding your nightmare. An intrusive thought is like a bad dream. Obsessive thoughts and the compulsions to follow are like recurring nightmares, and worsen with the more importance (power) you offer them.
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OCD
|
i’m failing almost all of my classes as a freshman in college and i hate myself so much. the fact that almost every single one was online because of the pandemic made it worse. i already knew i disliked online class since i had had experience taking them before. my parents are going to find out sooner or later and i know they are gonna be so disappointed in me. i don’t know how im going to move on from this. i was diagnosed with adhd but my parents didn’t want me taking medication and they just believe im not trying hard enough when in fact, im trying so hard that i can’t enjoy any aspects of my life anymore. yet im still failing and left to hate myself for it. i know i’ll have to talk to my parents like within the next few days but im so terrified. i just want proper help and for my parents to finally understand that my ADHD isn’t me choosing to just be lazy but that it’s actually so detrimental to both mt grades and mental health. im tired.
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ADHD
|
So I recently graduated college and got my first job in an office. I was given my own cubicle. Now, I know a lot of people always hate on cubicles but as someone on the spectrum I really love it. It’s like my own little place to escape. I got to decorate it with things that bring me calmness and happiness and I get to avoid people when I’m not in the mood (such as not eating lunch in the break room)
It’s my own little getaway
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aspergers
|
Does anyone else here run competitively or just run for fun?
I did a ton of it in high school and later on. I think it’s a great way to stay jn shape, meet other people and just feel great.
They say running is great for brain power and function. Whenever I run I feel I can just “ keep it together “ or get the old job done.
Anyone else
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aspergers
|
i remember when i was obsessed with having the perfect singing voice. I spent two solid days on youtube and the web , watching and reading articles about music. The interesting part of it was after i was done with a video or i am half way through it i would find another one but i could never recall what i just finished watching or reading.
I was just passing through loads of information and ultimately learning nothing.
I can laugh about it now.
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ADHD
|
Hi, so I just started ADHD medication a little over 2 months ago. I see a therapist already but I’m talking with a psych once a month for medication and all that. How honest am I allowed to be? I don’t want to mess up anything with my meds because I know doctors can be iffy with that. I have a history of self harm and I recently relapsed again. I don’t know if it’s even relevant but it is mental health so? I don’t see her regularly so maybe it’s not worth saying. Sorry if this is a dumb question I’m new to this, thank you,
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ADHD
|
**\[TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH, ALCOHOLISM, DRUG ADDICTION LOSS OF CONTROL, DEBT, SELF HARM, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS\]**
Let me tell you a cautionary tale - so that others can recognise when they are going downhill and losing control, which according to my therapist, is the root of all OCD. I can understand this, and it certainly rings true with a lot of my compulsions.
In 2018, my da passed away. I was at university in Cardiff, and whilst my relationship and my family's relationship with him was complicated to say the least, talking to him on the phone every night was the only thing that kept me somewhat grounded, even though my head was away in so many other aspects. He stopped calling me a few days before I was due to fly home for the summer holidays. He was an alcoholic, and didn't have the most reliable...sleeping patterns. So for the first day, I didn't think anything of it - of course there were the thoughts that he could be dead, but I swatted those away as part of my OCD, part of which revolves around keeping family members safe. I used to creep into my parents' and my brothers' rooms when I was a kid, to check if they were still breathing. It's strange, you just consider that behaviour normal. I used to have nightmares about having to choose between saving my mum or dad. I am sure you can all empathise, if not with the behaviour, then with the thoughts behind the behaviour.
Anyway, apologies for the meandering. I am on strong painkillers for my tooth atm. I flew home, and me and my ma went to check on my da (they were separated). The way we found my da, I can't even type out. It's horrifying even looking back on it. Let's just say he had been lying in his apartment a few days.
The trauma of not only having a family member dying, but also being the one to discover their rotting corpse, shook me to the core. I took a mental breakdown, being diagnosed with paranoid psychosis and later OCD. My head was shook, and I took out like 3 loans, and spent the majority of it on weed, which further compounded my condition. I was spiralling, and needed help. I am
Whilst I was lucky enough to receive these services for free on the NHS, I was sort of scared of attending them. My CPN, let's call him Dave, is one of the nicest people I have ever met. Ironically, he is one of the few people in the NHS who actually listen to what you're saying.
I am still recovering now from my psychotic break, and I am medicated for both my OCD and my psychosis.
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OCD
|
I'm a backyard beekeeper, and recently extracted my latest batch of honey I give away to friends, family, coworkers. For some reason while I was extracting, the thought "this honey is bad somehow, you might make all these people sick." Now, I do use pesticides as per label to treat for mite parasites to keep my hives alive and clean, and now my mind is set on this being the reason my honey is "bad."
I gave away some of the honey, and for the past couple weeks I keep thinking of all these "what if" scenarios of how my pesticide treated honey could have gotten into this batch. Too confusing to list out for those who don't know, but I'm almost 100% positive I used everything correctly and there shouldn't be any way for that to happen, but it feels like my memory isn't reputable or what if I'm lying to myself and did something incorrectly?
I have messaged and called technical advisors, state beekeeper groups and apiarists, and none seem concerned over what I described. It gives some relief for a couple hours, but more doubt comes in then anyway. I'm at a point where I'm about to spend $150 on testing my honey to ensure there really is nothing.
But at this point people already have the honey, as since I was told by others that it's fine, I tried to not freak people out and hopefully he over my fears.
This seems like a legitimate fear, right? Poisoning people? I am getting rid of my bees and equipment this year, because I just do not think I can handle this every time I give my honey out. Terrified of what the results are going to be, and it will be another 10 days or so...
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OCD
|
The story is straightforward. I started on ritalin LA 10 mg morning and another 10 mg at lunch time. It worked well but gave me a lot of anxiety and palpitations. My doctor switched me to elvanse 30mg one in the morning. It works way better in controlling my symptoms but after a few weeks it caused me sexual side effects and sometimes a feeling of being high. Switched back to ritalin but I noticed it has an incredibly mild effect compared to elvanse, but the side effects went away.
My doctor has been involved in each and every step of switching, but last time he told me I need to decide which suit me better. From his perspective both work in a way. Now I am a little overwhelmed by that decision because I also do not know how to evaluate the safety profiles of both classes when it comes to potential neurotoxicity. My psychiatrist says it is an ongoing debate whether stimulants generally contribute to late parkinson's disease and that some research shows ritalin to be more associated with that risk, but nothing conclusive at all.
So my decision should be based on both that potential risk but also on how i respond to both meds. As i said elvanse it very good in controlling inattention and restlessness while ritalin has a milder effect but also lesa aide effects. Any advice I receive will definitely be discussed with my psychiatrist first
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ADHD
|
When I was a teenager, I became completely obsessed with a manga. I used to reread everything while waiting for the next volume to be published. I read it so many times that I memorized entire scenes and dialogues. But when the story was finished, I felt so lost. Nothing seemed to be as good as that manga. It's been 13 years and I still can't find anything else that makes me feel that way. I really miss that feeling of being so passionate about something. I still read it again from time to time, but there's nothing new about it and that makes me sad. How do you guys deal with an obsession that doesn't have any new content anymore? How do you find something to replace it?
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aspergers
|
Hey.
I'm 17F and I've never been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD-PI but I'm on a waitinglist for assessment.
I'm soon turning 18 and moving out. I already have the apartment and I've spent enough weekends there that I should know what to expect. I don't have most of my belongings there, just the necessary stuff.
When I spent the first nights there I was so anxious, because that place is not my room that I'm used to.
I thought I would get used to that place and just stick to my schedule but turns out I didn't.
Whenever I'm there, I can't stick to my routines at all because that is not the place I usually do my routine things. So I just scroll my phone all day, procrastinate doing school work and end up not doing it at all and even forget to drink water or eat enough.
I can't even immerse myself in my special interests, the one thing that gives me joy and peace of mind.
What if I just lose interest in my special interest because of this change? Because I have no friends and meet my family only 1-2 times a month, special interests and routines are basically keeping me from falling into depression. From previous experience, if I lose both of them, I'm almost guaranteed to become depressed.
How do you deal with big changes like this?
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aspergers
|
Hi all :) I was wondering, what are the most common symptoms that you experience with OCD? I don’t have the *typical* anxiety/ocd physical symptoms, it seems, but I have a constant weird headache/tension in my head, sometimes almost feeling as if my brain is being tickled lol! I feel like my thoughts overall are way better now, but the headaches can be quite debilitating at times. Thanks!
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OCD
|
I'm used to them, but I want them gone.
Last night I had a dream that my little brother OD'd and we had to look for his body.
My brother doesnt do drugs.
This is just one example. They can be about anything. But they are always disturbing and unpleasant.
I have been through some rough stuff, and have always battled depression. I would really like to not have these dreams anymore.
Do any of you have experience with chronic nightmares?
Ive heard some PTSD sufferers are sometimes prescribed a medication that lessens nightmares.
I would love some advice. Thanks.
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ptsd
|
I have what's likely a tic disorder comorbid with my OCD. Throughout my life, I've always had this sort of feeling of a "balance" inside me that would feel "off" if I did something "wrong" or unsymmetrically. Does anyone else experience this? Is this more related to tic disorders or OCD?
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OCD
|
When people are around me, I feel they are cutting my head. I can't really talk to people. What should I do? In fact, my problem is not just PTSD. It includes Borderline personality disorder. I don't want to fail the first two speech exam speeching in front of people and then trying to find out what I should have.
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ptsd
|
Needs a job with set hours or I’ll get nothing done —-> gets a job which provides structure—> feels trapped —-> wants
to abandon the ship immediately(I have impulsively just quit a few jobs)
Who’s familiar with that old cycle?
Feels like you can’t win
And I mean learning to live with structure is better than pulling the plug but it’s easier said than done
Or what’s your stance toward structure?
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ADHD
|
This is my first time on this sub. As I explained in the title of this post, I am asking for suggestions/tips and tricks to help me stay away from washing my hands raw.
I will clarify that I do not suffer from germaphobia. The way I see it, it's an extreme aversion to other people's "filth". The pandemic has helped in the sense that I have an excuse to avoid physical contact. I am perfectly alright with my own "filth", but as soon as I come into contact with somebody else's "filth", I need to wash my hands. I have managed to avoid freaking out by using hand sanitizer until I can get to a sink. Once I get there, I wash my hands to the point that they hurt. The skin on the back of my hands has been cracking to the point that they occasionally bleed.
I have been and am continually working on this; I have my shrink and therapist. I just wanted to know if anybody has something he/she can share that might help.
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OCD
|
We both have ADHD and I was concerned at first because he was so honest right from the start since it felt like love bombing.
I never saw my disorder as such a game changer until I read myself into it. I understand now how we live, how we act and how we do things different then other people without ADHD.
So I took the risk, wrote all of my thoughts into a very long message and sent it to him. The response couldnt been more honest, lovely and outstanding.
Dating someone who has ADHD makes it much easier for me personally. He isnt much of a texter but when he texts, oh boy it lights up my body. I always know what hes up to and he does the same.
Lets see how it turns out :D
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ADHD
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More than anything I wish to have friends and relationships in my life. I truly hate myself for having such a repulsivs personality, that I can offend people without knowing, fucking worthless retard. Whats the point. I will always be a fucking clueless retard so why even live. Friends and relationships are what matters. I cant get them. No matter what I do.
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aspergers
|
I’m officially just not where I want to be with myself. My house is a mess because I can’t touch the things that need cleaning, cooking is honestly impossible, I’m throwing money away buying things to replace the items I’ve thrown away because they’re contaminated… and it’s seeping into my relationship as a new theme and I just can’t exist this way. This living is impossible, and as I type this my hands just look so old… and tired, and I’m only 27. I just need help.
Has anyone had any success finding help for this lately? I know the pandemic plays a huge role but it’s just like… I cannot avoid this anymore.
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OCD
|
hi all. there was a shooting at my school a little over three months ago. the days after it happened were some of the hardest ever but i thought i was improving since. recently though it’s gotten so much worse. it’s on my mind almost 24/7 and i don’t know how to talk about it with anyone. our school system is complicated but basically there is a separate school that anyone in the county to sign up to take classes at. many students at my home school who experienced the shooting as well take classes there including myself. i am in a psychology class and we are learning about anti social behavior and my teacher gave us an assignment where we had to watch a video about if video games cause school shootings and then write a paper on it. after discussing it with some classmates i went to her and she exempted me but refused to understand or listen about how damaging this assignment is. many of the students who have her class and go to my home school have never had major mental issues before and are not aware of the signs of PTSD. they’ve expressed to me how much it hurts having to be reminded of it and they “don’t know why because it’s never happened before”. i tried to explain this to my teacher and she got mad at me for “going behind her back and talking bad about her”. i told my mother about this and she was appalled. i don’t know what to do here on out though. she insisted this was part of the curriculum and something the class had to do. am i making this a bigger deal than it is? what do y’all think?
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ptsd
|
Some days I am so numb, so desensitized. There is this ache that sits at the bottom of my gut that is a reminder of my own sense of failure. But most of the time that I drop the ball, when I am so burnt out that all I can do is sit on my floor and remind myself to breathe, I don’t cry because I can no longer meet the expectations of others. I cry because I no longer have the capacity to even give a fuck. It’s currently 2 in the morning and in 8 hours I have two assignments due, neither of which are finished. I have already skipped this class way too many times yet I can’t even care that I don’t have the energy to go tomorrow either. It just feels like no matter what I do I will never be able to be the person others want me to be so I should just stop trying. I cry because I can’t try anymore.
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depression
|
I did not get a diagnosis for ADHD yet (because of inconclusive/insufficient information), but my doctor is aware of my ADHD symptoms - and the extent of problems they caused; he decided to prescribe Atomoxetine (non-stimulant, takes a few weeks to start noticing changes) - and scheduled a followup appointment five weeks from now. I took my first dose just now.
For anyone who's tried atomoxetine: What changes can I expect? How soon? Did you eventually transition to stimulants like adderall after trying atomoxetine?
Any information is greatly appreciated.
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ADHD
|
I’ll be blunt - I am often horny, both at home and at work. Sexual thoughts permeate and linger quite a bit and oftentimes it gets distracting and it sometimes feels like it’s…too much. A quick Google search will tell you that OCD has a negative impact on libido, but my experience does not align. Anyone else having similar problems?
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OCD
|
TL;DR I'm wondering if there are any prominent African-American voices on ADHD.
Hi everyone, I'm a African-American (black) man with ADHD. Mental health is a taboo subject in the black community. As such, I'm used to not seeing myself reflected in those creating books, podcasts, videos, conferences etc about ADHD. I'm curious if anyone is aware of any prominent black experts on the topic of ADHD, thanks!
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ADHD
|
Ten months after coming out of a particularly nasty eyesight/jaw/tooth related obsession, I'm starting to get worried about (and this is so damn embarrassing to even type out in an anonymous submission) my foot shape and toe splay. My fucking feet.
I first read about barefoot shoes and related rhetoric about two years ago, however, it didn't really concern me much until about 2 months ago, when I started to want a pair of barefoot shoes due to conventional shoes causing me pain. Being the obsessive little shit I am, I immediately fell into a rabbit hole of researching barefoot shoes, which inevitably led me to all those articles about how Modern Man ™ has ruined his feet with shoes and it's the end of the world.
Now I've noticed that I'm frequently thinking about my toe splay and foot width, "adjusting" my gait so that my toes spread more, and checking my feet every few minutes. The incidence of such thoughts and actions have only increased over the past few weeks.
Given how horrible my last obsessive episode was, I'm starting to get real worried about this pattern. My junior year of high school starts tomorrow, and I want to keep up my GPA as well as run for student gov/similar positions--for obvious reasons, this would be difficult to pull off if I were stuck in an obsessive hell. And to top it off, the fact that I'm having a second body-related obsession is making me doubt my OCD diagnosis (what if it's BDD, even though my worry stems more from my possibly having developed "wrong" rather than a flaw in appearance)?
Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get this out there, to an audience wider than just my shrink. Does anyone else have similar issues they'd be comfortable sharing? If so, what helps you calm down and stop obsessing
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OCD
|
My partner works for a low-cost clinic as a psychotherapist and they referred several autistic clients to her because they know she has family members that are autistic, and that she is in a very happy relationship with me and we overcome our difficulties as they come. She feels confident and helpful in most areas, but really stumped when her young clients ask about their future in terms of studies and career choice. Does anybody have any good resources about this? What could help them and her?
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aspergers
|
Was I an abuser?
I struggle with OCD and intrusive thoughts. It’s gotten out of hand in the past year. I’m starting CBT next week so I’m hoping that gives me the proper help I need. Anyway I have constant guilty thoughts that really became out of hand when quarantine started back in March that I may have sexually abused a childhood friend without realizing at the the time.
I have no actually clear memory of anything but I just remember back than my friends and I (we are all boys I’m 25 now) when we were around 12-14 would rough house all the time. My friends and I would wrestle and do stupid practical jokes one of which was called ball tapping when you would smack someone in the nuts to inflict pain. It’s insanely stupid but we were kids and we all did it to each other occasionally . Obviously with clothes on it wasn’t like we were naked or something .
Another dumb game or prank was called a cheese curl where you kind of shape ur finger in the form of a cheese puff so it curls and you Jam your finger up a friends butt as joke. Clothes were on it wasn’t like I took off someone’s pants and literally inserted my finger into their butthole . We would do this to each other as well. I think we would dry hump too to be funny it wasn’t sexual just like we would all be goofy and so weird shit because we were trying to be funny.
Lately well for a year now I’ve struggled with so many intrusive thoughts especially this one because of a certain kid who I hung around with. We picked on him because he was a little smaller than us but he was a year or 2 older. I just get all these disgusting images in my head that I think are distorted memories that freak me out of me sexually abusing him . But I know that didn’t happen but the thoughts make me doubt myself .
There wasn’t like sodomy or oral or anything like that it was just the dumb games or pranks I mentioned that we all did to each other just to him a little more . I also have grown so much since I was a dumb immature kid that I think about the times I was mean to others and it makes me sick.
I reached out to this guy whose 27 now and we talked and I said I was sorry for any times I was mean or cruel and he seemed fine with everything he said we were kids and that it was kind of just something we all did to each other. We actually reconnected as friends.
I reached out to a lot of people I thought I wronged as a kid and all of them either said I was fine and shouldn’t worry about it or that we were just kids. Idk my intrusive thoughts destroy me
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OCD
|
Hey Guys,
I hope you're all staying safe!
As an individual with OCD, I experience weird thoughts that become compulsions, which I'm sure all those with OCD suffer from. But, I develop these weird assumptions regarding everyday daily things. To be more specific, right now, I have a weird assumptions that if i wear jeans, I'll somehow become 'dumber,' perform worse on my tests in school, and overall, lower in quality as a student. Rationally, I understand how this is completely insensible, but anyone with OCD knows that it almost never makes sense, it's just there. Today, I wore jeans to school, and my brain has this weird thing where if it thinks I'm trying to impress someone (which can often be attributed to wearing outgoing clothes, such as jeans, shirts, etc...), it automatically makes me feel less smart - and I experienced that today where I just wasn't able to answer questions in Biology class - ones which I normally would have been able to crack easily. I don't really know what to do in this instance, because I don't want to just give into the compulsion, and stop wearing jeans - that just makes me weaker in the realm of OCD and takes a toll on beating the illness overall. If you all have anything, please do let me know!
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OCD
|
Hey guys, I read a study by Moreno (I think it's his name)
and it showas that almost all of his patient, under the influence of psilocybin, got no OCD symptoms at all or so minimal. Not quite sure if its real, and I wanted to ask some of you with this experience and how it's meditative.
I did LSD, not once, and the feeling of not thinking in a intrusive way is just GONE, COMPLETELY GONE. Standing infront of my door tryna think about to lock it 5 times, nope dont have to, no need, no pressure.
it was peaceful
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OCD
|
Hey everyone, I’m currently trying to keep my day from going south. I’m currently home for the holidays. I live alone internationally and I’m very routine-oriented - otherwise, I can’t get anything done. Yesterday I decided that today I would get up early, watch a soccer game with my boyfriend, then go to the mall to get a piercing I’d been looking forward to, take my brother to get his ears pierced and Christmas shop for our relatives.
Well, my relatives decided to drive us when I planned to Uber. However, they had plans and a set amount of time that they needed to be home by. So I was rushed out of the house, which led me to forget my wallet and well, everything else. My brother was able to get his ears pierced but I wasn’t able to do anything I intended to. It was incredibly kind of my family to give us a ride and I’m happy to spend time with them, but rushing to accommodate them and not being able to get anything done has really annoyed me. And everything is getting on my nerves. Any tips on how to chill out?
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ADHD
|
Hi I’m really scared. My ocd is very severe now and I have an important day tomorrow so it decided to get even worse today and I just wasted three hours compulsively checking someones social media who was mean to me a few years ago trying to find some old tweet where they was referring to me (subtweet) after they had been texting me saying nasty things. I avoided that persons stuff for years but now I just exposed and flooded myself but in a compulsive way. Now when I finally thought I was done and had looked at more than one of their social media platforms a number of times (I count everything too), my brain is like “now go and block them everywhere or it’s gonna keep bothering you and ruin your day tomorrow” etc. so now I’m like woild blocking them help and keep me from looking at their stuff again or is this also my ocd and if I block them maybe I’d end up feeling a compulsion to then do it and undo it a number of times and then feel I need to unblock and then have that bother me instead. I’m going insane. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Is blocking someone a good idea or would that just fuel the urge to keep checking and redoing possibly? Thanks for the help..
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OCD
|
Sorry in advance if this seems incoherent. Ironically I'm writing about meds but have not taken mine lol.
I'm a black girl who was born in 97. I think my generation and the ones coming after have all grown up with the vague understanding that ADHD is seen as this over diagnosed, overmedicated made up disorder to generate profit for big pharma. And for black people especially, the understanding is that drugs like ritalin and adderall are prescribed indiscriminately to any black kid who's even a little bit hyperactive.
Now full disclaimer, i am nobody's medical professional. I do not have any empirical data to back up my opinions (though if any of *you* do, please hook me up). I'm also not claiming nobody but black people are affected by anti medication stigma. But from where I'm standing, it seems that the stigma towards ADHD meds makes it so much harder for people, especially marginalized communities, to seek the treatment they need. I think that most black kids actually fail to get much needed medications, and part of that comes from the stigma. "Oh you know these white people think all you kids have ADHD, you just playing into the stereotype/you can't take those meds, you'll look like an addict and they already think we all junkies/ADHD is a white people thing." These are all things i grew up hearing and my mother is a nurse!
I recently got my first prescription for Ritalin and Concerta. Even though i want to get better and am willing to accept whatever help my psychiatrist can offer, i was hesitant when he mentioned ritalin. i've never heard anything good about that drug and i also worried how others would percieve me if they found out i was using it. So much of being black already involves you policing yourself so as not to come off as a statistic or stereotype and that applies to those of us dealing with ADHD. We spend so much time already trying to prove to white people that we aren't lazy and stupid just to have this disorder trip us up. Now throwing medications into the mix makes you feel like you have to add an "i'm not another addict" disclaimer.
To any black people reading this, screw the haters. You know what you need better than anybody else. It isn't our job to avoid being labeled or disregarded as another statistic, it's society's job to stop putting us in boxes in the first place.
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ADHD
|
I was repeatedly bullied and abused at work for about 6 months ( From multiple abusers) . I changed shifts but so did the main bully. My team mates started picking on me for doing nothing more then trying to shine and be on top of everything. Some even tried to mind fuck me or get me to make mistakes. My job is stressful people could die if I fuck up. There's isnt even proper training. I lost all confidence and started double checking and asking all the questions I had already mastered.
Somewhere inside I knew I was deteriorating especially when my mind kept circling back to all the b.s. and then reanalizing other interactions. I couldnt stop talking it out w a couple work friends. It put me into the mindset of a poor kicked dog whining and pissing its self in the corner.
I started clearing off my back burner and taking care of all the medical crap I hadnt dealt with over the last 10 years. Got back on adhd meds because I heard a manager guessed and thought it would help me.
When I broke no one knew it was coming, I seemed irrational and paraniod. Nothing came out right or meant what I wanted it to be. Everything about me was hitting extremities and my hysterics pushed my friends away.
Could this be Ptsd related to work?
Could it have triggered ptsd from the past long term abusive relationship I ran away from and never looked back at. That was the first place I pointed my finger at but im starting to wonder.
I wasnt reliving the abusive relationship I was reliving the bad at work. The emotions might have felt the same as some id endured, but that realization was the breaking point not the start of my spiral.
Oh yeah I almost forgot in the last 6 years 4 employees have committed suicide. 1 attempt was made last year, and I know that person was bullied.
Edit after 10 hrs;
Thank you all for sharing. Ive had one therapy appointment so far and more to come.
In the hight of my break I was so raw and unbalanced everything was effecting me. Now thats its been a couple weeks and I'm not hitting the extremes as hard my rationality is coming back.
I feel I know the company is going to write off what happened to me as personal issues, regardless of how many others made complaints before me. But how can they leave such a harmful person in a place of power. Especially where said person is supposed to help and guide us at work and is an off branch of Hr. I know not all the work deaths are direcrly related to this individual, but the bullying happens , its seems like theyd rather blame me, other victims, or general work stress then fix the real issues.
Why is bullying/emotional abuse not aknowledged across the work industry. Why is it ok for someone to say if I had known id have been nicer.
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ptsd
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My friends are odd with the way they respond to me. Sometimes they respond in minutes, sometimes in hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks.
They usually tend to all of a sudden take way longer to answer when I write about something negative that im going through (i love how people run away the moment you need them...)
But a couple days ago i set a status on discord relating to something i was passionate about, my friend asked what it meant, and I answered and sent a few short clips relating to it and was joking around and everything. Super positive and everything.
2 days later...still no reply. The one guy is on winter break and has a job. Always on his phone tho. The other guy has no job and isnt in college. He sits at home and does nothing of major importance all day while his parents pay for everything for him....etc. We're all around 20 or so.
Why do friends randomly go silent like this? I felt passionate about something and wanted to share it with my friend who expressed interest and he just fucking vanished. Pisses me off so much. It makes me feel like he doesnt care or got weirded out or something.
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depression
|
Hello all I really need some help or insight. Usually these coincidences ALWAYS happen when I get a new piece of technology and it really sets me off . I recently built a new gaming computer which I spent a lot of money and time on just for one of these things to happen and mess it and make me feel as though my computer is contaminated. So I was trying to go to outlook.com but instead my internet browser said “www.Pinocchio.com can not be found” this set me off so bad Everytime I try to game in my computer I’m constantly thinking about it and it gets frustrating and annoying. I can’t seem to replicate how or why my browser would do that. I really need some help the only thing I can think of doing is dropping more money on a new pc just to set my mind at ease.
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OCD
|
I am blessed with PTSD, major depression, ADHD, anxiety, and panic which would be enough for just about anyone but my roommate/best friend has stage IV metastatic breast cancer too and I just cannot even right now. My therapist has suggested some books/stuff to buy/do more of but I have applied for SSI and am currently sponging off my dad and feel guilty asking him for what I need to survive, much less anything extra for wants. I was going to post my amazon wishlist in r/assistance but my account has been too inactive because I just cannot deal with other humans anymore apparently. Everything is so awful right now and it's only going to get worse, culminating in the death of my bestie to cancer and I don't want to be here for any of it. My suicidal thoughts had been a lot better for a while but now they're back and I just... can't. I'm so tired, everything hurts, I want to give up.
Sorry for ranting, thanks for reading.
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ptsd
|
Oh my gosh I don’t even know where to begin because I have been so happy for the past two months and I feel less alone because of my girlfriend. I just want to express my happiness here and I’m just excited because I used to be pretty alone before since I’ve never been in love before. I was very happy sure and I had a great life but I just needed a woman to share it with and I’m happy to say that I’ve found that woman. I’m so happy that she found me on the 28 of June of this year on Reddit and it’s so romantic but weird because we use Reddit as a dating app. She fell in love with me immediately because she said that I was her dream guy and that she finds me really handsome.
I fell in love with her when she told me how much she likes me because I’ve always wanted a girl to confess her love to me because I have difficulty picking up on flirting due to my Aspergers but I do know that she is really brave because she was not vague at all and I found it so attractive that she went right to the point and told me how she felt about me instead of flirting. I know the age gap between us looks a little weird at first but I’m turning 18 in January and she turned 23 on July fourth and honestly it doesn’t really matter to me because we are just so deeply in love.
She is so sweet and when she sent me a picture of her I realized that she was absolutely beautiful because she had blonde hair and brown eyes. Our relationship is just so incredible because I accept the fact that she is trans and I’m even supporting her on her transition by encouraging her despite the fact that her extremely conservative adoptive parents don’t at all which I absolutely hate them for but she is really strong emotionally so she doesn’t care what they think about her. She also accepts the fact that I have High Functioning Autism plus she says she understands Autism and she also loves how nerdy as well as romantic I am.
I told her one day that I’m so happy to have her as my girlfriend because I was scared I was going to spend my entire life alone without a wife and she promised that I will not be alone because I will have her. She tells me that I make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world but I honestly feel equally lucky and I feel the same way about her. Please keep all the comments nice because I truly love this woman and trans rights are human rights so please treat the love of my life with respect in the comments. She is my girlfriend, the love of my life, one of my best friends, my soulmate, and my future wife.
And Sarah my love, if you are reading this, I love you baby with all my heart because you are my everything.
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aspergers
|
I’ve had depression for a long time. Taken medication, seen therapists, and nothing has helped so far. I’ve been on my own for a little while and thought things were getting better, but now more than ever, I feel trapped. I am not the same person I used to be, and not in a good way. I know everyone changes eventually but I don’t like this path I’m going down.
I’ve lost interest in pretty much everything. I began painting at the beginning of COVID, and it was fun then but now even that seems like a chore. I don’t enjoy driving anywhere anymore, I have way too much anxiety on the road because the state next to mine (I live in a border town) is infamous for their shit drivers. I used to be energetic, optimistic, and loved to just do stuff…didn’t matter what, but I enjoyed having something to occupy my time. Now most days I sit at home and scroll through my phone or take long baths after work and just zone out. I think part of it is I am with someone who I thought had a similar energy level to mine, but turns out he doesn’t, and we live together in a town not close to any of my friends or family, so it’s not like I can go see them to get my mind off things. I just feel trapped. Our relationship itself is fine, but I strongly believe he has contributed to this change in me, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I want 2022 to be a better year for me, but I can already feel myself losing interest in the halfhearted resolutions I’ve come up with and know they’ll fizzle out. I just feel so fucking stuck.
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depression
|
*My background: I've had episodes of OCD throughout my adult life. Twice I had HOCD/basically an identity crisis but it only lasted a few days both times. I've also had "what if I have HIV/AIDS", "what if I go deaf" (when I simply had seasonal allergy ear congestion) "what if I can never listen to music again" (I love music, and I had hyperacusis/dyacusis (tinnitus) that distorted my hearing); another time (when I was triggered by thinking I heard the whistle again) I went to eat and thought things tasted different and thought I was losing my taste. During that same episode I also thought I was schizophrenic. I mean you name it and I've probably thought it lol. But through all of this I just thought I had bad anxiety/panic and then when it started to dissipate I thought I was fine.*
*After getting the COVID vaccine, I experienced negative side effects including tinnitus/hyperacusis and a blind spot in one eye. For 3+ weeks all I could focus on was the ringing, then when the ringing seemed to lower a bit (or I could handle it more) I kept focusing on the eye (which turned out to be due to a swollen optic nerve). But of course prior to having that diagnosis and even after the diagnosis, I was panicking "what if it goes to the other eye", etc. to the point I started seeing sparkles in both eyes and panicking that I have visual snow and that I'm visually hallucinating. I also felt like lights were way too bright, so I went to the doctor who confirmed I had extremely dry eye. It was around this time that I started seeing a therapist who told me my hypochondria is "health ocd", I didn't read into it too much since I wasn't finding much about health ocd as a category. I was "obsessing" over my ears and eyes and general health, and my compulsions/mental checks were checking what I heard/saw (even though a lot of the time I wasn't hearing/seeing anything actually, I just couldn't stop checking).*
*As soon as I got the dry eye diagnosis I calmed down, but that only lasted about a week, and then my OCD switched themes to ROCD. This stemmed from guilt of torturing my boyfriend through all this medical stuff (though he literally doesn't mind and is happy to help), and then it turned into "what if I don't love him" "what if I had a change of heart and lost feelings" "what if I want to be single", etc. and sometimes hyperfixing on imaginary "flaws". That was hell because he's so perfect and I couldn't believe that everything I (we) had dreamed for our future seemed to dissipate. Then I went through the numb phase where I wasn't overthinking and had minimal anxiety, I just had no eomtions. In fact I'm a big crier and my OCD hit me with the "what if when you cry its not genuine" and "what if you can never cry", so every time I went to cry I'd overthink and panic to the point I couldn't cry haha. The best was when I was about to have a panic attack from trying to WFH and my parents disturbing me and when I went to breakdown and say "omg I can't do this" my brain literally said "what if you can do this" - it wasn't inspirational at all, it was literally my brain contradicting my natural thought and in that case worst case scenario for my lovely brain was "what if you can't have a mental breakdown" lol. My god this disease.*
*Now my OCD is fixated on my ringing and kind of my visual snow. On the bright side at least I know I love my boyfriend again (most of the love came back, and I'm positive the other small part will come back soon too), but I can't deal with this ringing.*
Long story short: Years ago whenever I went through an OCD spell without knowing it was OCD and just shrugging it off as anxiety, as soon as my intrusive thoughts dissipated, I'd realize everything was fine and be able to move on sooner or later. But now that I know I have OCD, I can't stop obsessing over what will go wrong next. I mean theres no going back so I can't sulk on it, but if anyone has experienced something similar and has tips and tricks for breaking the cycle I'd really appreciate it. Thank you :)
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OCD
|
I have been on Adderall for almost 3 weeks now. When I talk to my wife about things in our relationship I feel like now I am able to understand what my wife is telling me and I am to internalize and understand my thoughts at a deeper level. Before I feel like I had a surface level of understanding when my wife told me things good or bad. Now I feel like I can take what she said. Process it and really know what she is tell me. Is this a rare feeling? I just feel like I can sit in my own head and break down stuff and understand the entire concept or thought.
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ADHD
|
I know video games is a common one. And I have definitely gotten obsessed with video games in the past, but my symptoms are so bad right now I think I've purchased like four different games in the last two months praying one of them would suck me in and give me an oasis but I don't get past the first 20 minutes of intro without getting bored and returning to drifting from reddit to trying to find the mental space to do the dishes to just laying in bed staring at the ceiling hating life.
I am open to the idea of video games if theres a particular one that is extra good for keeping the ADHD brain engaged. But also, if there are any other things you all do that are low energy-high stimulus that works well for getting you involved in ONE THING for more than 5 minutes, I would love to know.
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ADHD
|
This past year has been absolute hell for me. I’ve been in two or three failed relationships, had 2 grandparents diagnosed with cancer (one has passed since, the other still fighting), and had possibly the worst semester in school yet. I do all the work around my house and feel so unappreciated and unloved all the time. Most of my “friends” just take advantage of me and use my pad as a place to party leaving me with a god damn mess.
It’s all just becoming so exhausting. I don’t like talking to other people cause it makes me feel so weak and gross but I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been going on these spats of dangerous behavior - it started out small w/ just mildly dangerous driving and has been getting out of hand. I’ve been blacking out every time I drink (usually waking up in the shower or a full bathtub), cutting my own hair, giving myself piercings, hooking up with random people, smoking, and taking increasingly large doses of shrooms/acid (which has backfired horribly).
The anger has been the worst thing about this all - at first it was just me getting ticked off but now when I’m alone I’ll just scream my head off. It’s therapeutic but it leaves me feeling really unstable and upset with myself for having to lash out like that. I’ve broken a few things when really upset, it’s not good behavior but again it’s really therapeutic.
I’m not proud of any of it I just need to get it off my chest. I’ve been struggling with this intense emptiness on/off for 5 or so years and have consistent suicidal thoughts. (I first made this account when I was really struggling with suicidal thoughts, but siked myself out of posting) I’m just so tired of putting on a brave face. I tried to talk to one of my best friends the first year I really had issues with depression, and just got brushed off. The second time I told someone was an SO and the same thing happened again. Since then I’ve kept quiet, and it’s awful.
I’m not really sure what my goal is in typing this all out, getting it off my chest was nice though. I guess advice/tips would be appreciated. I just kinda had a breakdown for the first time in awhile and thought venting would be good - and I already feel a little better after typing this so two thumbs up I guess. I’ve got a lot on my plate today though so time to get back to it.
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depression
|
I’m to sad to even put the energy into a post. I welcome death.
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depression
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so ive experienced this issue my whole life but more now that ive started meds.
at random moments for seemingly no reason, my brain will tell me to make a certain hand symbol. they are often the middle finger or clenching my fist, and recently finger guns. they seem to happen more in social situations but they happen when im alone too. there doesn't seem to be anything i know of that will trigger it but if im talking to someone (especially someone im close to or like them) the middle finger urge will come. the rest seem to happen randomly.
a list of all the urged i can think of right now:
-middle finger (most often)
-finger guns (recent)
-putting wrists together (this ones been like this for a while)
-to kneel down (all the time when im standing, especially when talking to someone older than me)
-random hand movements/signs that dont reappear often, ive counted all of those as one just for simplicity reasons
Most of these have been present for many years and consistently bother me (exception to finger guns which developed in early September).
most of the time i just do my best to ignore it, its a bit tingly from the inside when i do (if that makes sense) and it feels weird, but if i get the hand ones i usually just cross my arms and do them into my elbows. if i dont itll go away in a minute or too, but its uncomfortable till it goes away
this this an adhd thing or shpuld i be concerned? i dont think its a tic....
edit: its not fidgeting. very different feeling.
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ADHD
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Delete if not allowed, of course.
Okay so there's a guy on here (I won't single them out) who is always responding to posts resulting in telling them to 'keep eye contact' as a solution to whatever the query is.
Now whilst that may be a okay tip to make, people who are on the autistic spectrum generally struggle with doing this. Telling them to do it is not gonna help. There's something that's telling us in our brain to not do it, training ourselves is not going to make the anxiety of eye contact go away, or even help us understand how it works.
I also want to say that there is way more nuance to conversation than looking someone in the eyes. Whilst I don't understand all of them fully, I know plenty of NT people that do not maintain eye contact. I've seen them with other people, looking at the ground, looking away. I'm very hyper-aware of these things. Some people struggle with looking away and end up 'death staring' a person, which not advised as this could happen if the tip is taken and done wrong.
Bro, if you're reading this you need to find another solution than just looking at a person whilst talking. It doesn't solve problems of context, not understanding jokes, over/under-reading. Heck you've even used it as a tip to see if a person trusts you a relationship. That's not right imo.
This is just a PSA. This guy means well, but eye contact is not the be all, end all of human communication and issues involving autism.
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aspergers
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I'm writing bc my primary dr referred me to a neuropych center for a 4 hour eval. The problem is that this place has an insane wait list of 6-8 months. My dr told me to call around to other psychologists to see if they offer the testing and they all either don't offer it, aren't taking new patients, or have the same wait list length. I dont get why I can't go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis without this 4 hour evaluation? Why do I need this specific eval? Can't psychiatrists diagnose this as well?
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ADHD
|
Without giving much detail, I was diagnosed late with ADHD (the fun of being AFAB) and four years later prescribed methylphenidate by my doctor. I don't really like this doctor for multiple reasons, but especially because she refuses to prescribe anything other than Ritalin, and completely denies the existence of non-stimulant medications. Anyway, I'm on 20mg as my normal dose (I re-dose with 10 mg two or three times a day since it's the short form), and still don't feel any significant reaction to it. At best it will turn a good day into a great one, but if I'm already struggling with executive function (aka the days when I need medications) I feel almost nothing. I don't think my dose is too high because I've tried lowering the dose (which didn't help), and even at 20 mg I don't feel any of the physical side effects (anxiety, high heart rate, problems sleeping). Is it possible that I just don't react to this kind of stimulant? If so, is it worth it to pay for a psychiatrist and new meds, or will I likely be non-responsive to those too? I'm a university student, so I need to know if coughing up the money for an actual psychiatrist is a good bet.
TL/DR: I don't respond to 20 mg of Ritalin (short-acting) and was wondering if anyone else has had the same problem, and what a possible solution is.
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ADHD
|
Anybody sometimes just want a normal life.
Its not that i hate being an aspie.i have a lot of strenghts like noticing detail most people would miss but sometimes it can be overwhelming.im not diagnised as having aspergers but have a lot of the sympoms of high functioning.can hold down a full time job which i am good at.
Some days i hate really sucking at any video games , not being able to play any sports growing up , struggling to make friends in people of my age , being told im a fussy eater when i just dont like the texture of some foods , walking out of shops without buying what i need and have to return to the shops later because i had severe anxiety with all the people there or walking out of church or a music consert because the sounds were just to loud.
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aspergers
|
I’m am currently going through a career change and have been accepted to do a social work masters. I’m excited, but also a little bit nervous about working in a field with a reputation for being emotionally heavy.
I am planning to avoid anything areas specific to sexual abuse, and am considering specialising in community outreach and healthcare, specifically supporting families with chronic health issues. I have worked in similar hospital settings before in admin roles, and generally have been able to cope.
Does anyone have any experience of working in similar areas while having ptsd?
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ptsd
|
I would sit in the middle of the street and hope someone would shoot me execution style.
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depression
|
CW: explicit mention of compulsions and negative thoughts/fears
So I have just started exposure response therapy and the first 'task' was to check/re-lock the door of my workplace only twice instead of 5-10 times. Obviously I did a double check while I was still at the door, but this meant that I was not allowed to walk back after having walked away from the door as I usually do.
I did not cave, but it was the worst. I had a very frantic internal conversation with myself. For some reason I was envisioning it as two versions of myself, where one version is very mean to the other (I imagined it the way people sometimes edit TikToks where they play two parts, idk why because I do not make TikToks). And this mean version was really going off about how much of a dumb bitch I am for not checking the door and that I am an imposter who is too stupid to even remember if she locked the door, so all of my academic credentials must be fake and I am probably this huge fraud. I also somehow felt that by imagining my thought process it in this TikTok-acting style meant they were in fact not real thoughts and I was actually just looking for a way to milk this thing for content or attention or something. Very annoying.
It was intense to notice how much of an impact it has if I don't do the compulsions I want to do, because up until this point I honestly thought that it was not that big of a deal and I was pretty sceptical about the OCD diagnosis altogether. But it was intense. I suppose it will get easier in time though, and it's definitely gonna be worth it.
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OCD
|
Sometimes, I catch a break. Forget. But it’s always there in the back of my head, that question I can’t seem to find clarity on, that itch I can’t scratch. I’m so tired of the self-doubt, anxiety, and inability of save myself. I look elsewhere for reassurance but rarely find it. I just want to feel good on a foundational level. Do y’all know what I mean? The feeling of freedom that comes with truly letting go of the past. I want to be present and happy, but I’m in a constant battle with myself. Just needed to rant. I’m so fucking tired. I want to figure this out so badly. Hopefully, I will someday soon.
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OCD
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Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts where I believe that my dead family members (I only say family members because nobody outside of family who is close to me has ever passed, though i’m sure this will probably be in effect for my friends/close people in general if any of them pass too) can read my thoughts but for my living ones, I have thoughts that say they will be able to know everything that I ever thought about them. This is so weird because it makes me feel guilty for having intrusive thoughts about them and feeling convinced that they’ll look down at me in shame, but the guilt is worsening my intrusive thoughts so it’s like a cycle. I’m not even religious anymore nor do I really believe in an afterlife where humans are concious and able to think, so I’m not even sure why these thoughts are happening and I believe that they’re nonsense but they still give me mild anxiety. This has been happening a lot these past couple of days which is weird, because these thoughts happen only every couple of months and these are one of the few intrusive thoughts that give me genuine anxiety instead of irritation. Does anyone else experience this, and if so, any advice?
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OCD
|
I found out about me having ADHD during my final year of college and was medicated shortly after. My grades went from the first 5-6 letters if the alphabet to A's and B's. For the first time, I realized that I wasn't dumb and it made all the difference.
Instead of going to a top 5 university in my state, I ended up going to a college that was super easy to get accepted to. There are moments where I wish I didn't have the disorder to begin with so I could actually thrive instead of me struggling for so long.
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ADHD
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Like, a theme usually appears and Im obssessed with it from two weeks to a few months, and when it finally goes away I spend a few days okay-ish, and then another problem appears and Im obssessed with it again and my entire life becomes about that
Im currently obssessed thinking I have an Oedipus Complex, and before that it was contamination, and before it was my religious ocd, and before it was my gender identity. And I feel like when the Oedipus complex one ends Ill start obssessing about being a psichopath and a manipulator (because it crossed my mind a few times these past few days). Honestly I hope it does end soon cause Id rather obssess about psicopathy than Oedipus
Ive been living like that for I dont know how many years. I jump from theme to theme and religious ocd almost always comes with it. Theres barely ever any relief. The worst ones last many months
Does anyone else work like that too? Has it ended for anyone here?
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OCD
|
I recently saw a psychiatrist about adjusting my antidepressants, and while I was talking with her the topic of OCD came up. She mentioned some things about it that were eye-opening, and since then I've been looking into OCD and trying to figure some things out. I've started noticing some things that I obsess over and some compulsions I wasn't aware of, but there's something that I'm confused about.
Sometimes I have, I guess, unintentional fantasies about things that really upset me. It's like my brain starts telling me a long story about imaginary arguments (I have bad social anxiety) or other things that bother me. I don't have any compulsions associated with this because I've never been able to find anything that will get my brain to stop.
Can that be considered an obsession? When I read about obsessions, it seems like they're usually singular ideas, like about getting hurt or hurting someone else or something similar. I've never heard anyone with OCD have obsessions that are like long stories that are totally disconnected from anything that's actually happening. I've also looked at r/MaladaptiveDreaming but it seems like that's about fantasies that you enjoy, things you want to think about to avoid upsetting things.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense or not, so let me know if something needs clarifying. Has anyone else experienced this?
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OCD
|
Here's what I overheard on my autistic son's zoom session with his speech therapist:
Son: What's your least favorite word?
SLP: Hibernate.
​
And I'm scratching my head, thinking, huh, that's an interesting conversation starter, and why would "hibernate" be someone's least favorite word? Maybe she doesn't like winter?
Until context and further talking made it clear that the exchange was actually "What's your least favorite chore?" "Ironing." Yet another notch in the belt of my autistic auditory processing difficulties. Maybe I should hire a speech therapist too (though I don't know if anything can unscramble that sensory traffic jam).
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aspergers
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Does anyone else experience depersonalization/derealization in response to sensory overload or extreme stress?
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aspergers
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My mom checks on me but I always turn her away because I don’t have it in me to explain how I’m feeling/ don’t know how to put my raw thoughts and feelings into words.
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depression
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DAE experience anxiety and tension relief from stimming? I’m relearning my stimms and have found that my shoulders will start to tense up as I approach sensory overload. My stomach will knot up and I’ll start to feel hot. If I am able to leave the space and go somewhere quiet to rock I can feel my shoulders relaxing and my stomach settle within a few minutes. I haven’t seen much about stimming and pain relief so I’m wondering. Is this just me?
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aspergers
|
I have ADHD and from an objective standpoint it probably is the reason for a lot of my problems, and I technically have a fairly above average IQ (although tbh that might be a product of an anomalous past interest in the subject) but like... I still would prefer it being higher than for my ADHD to just suddenly go away or something. I think the reason for that is a combination of values, the role I would probably consequently play in the world in either scenario, and the fact that I honestly don't measure up to the people around me in either aspect tbh and that's with the most generous interpretation of the data in both. I got a 120 in the WAIS-III (I genuinely don't mean to brag when I say that, I am just giving context for anyone who actually cares about this shitty post, but I see people talking about accomplishments far greater than that anyways here so tbh I don't even the that is fair), and a 29 on the ACT, above average but also not especially high at all, the highest score I got on something like that was a 96th percentile but from what I could tell it wasn't very accredited anyways (I think it was that one iq test like thing they give after taking the IOWAs, if you know what that is) . When it comes to most executive function, time management and numerous other qualities associated with ADHD deficits, I have actually a far greater weakness in every area, being well below average in all.
It sounds like I am reiterating myself but I want to make the situation clear. Now these qualities certainly don't qualify for twice exceptional from what I can tell, to have the first "exceptional" part you practically have to be like Steven Hawking's. For example "How to ADHD", that one channel I'm guessing you have heard of if you are here, literally scored at an average highschoolers level standardized test scores at THIRD GRADE, something I barely managed to do freshmen year, calling that "above average" is certainly putting it mildly. That may sound like I am just throwing a tantrum asking for special privilege's (idk how you can see it that way when I literally attributed it to a youtuber but I digress), but keep in mind this would be at the sacrifice of still having ADHD in the situation, aka what I just said is the objective cause for the majority of my issues involving life.
So why do I feel this way? well because I think it would add meaning to the struggle, it would make it more likely for me to actually contribute in a unique and interesting way rather than being another cog in the machine. What does being a "kinda smart but not really" normal person do, where those people end up going? Well unless you go full grind mode and just grind your way into places you probably would have been shut off from in all those countries where they preemptively screen for kids at a young age, pretty much no where. That's probably enough brain power to be some Leech passive incomer (you are on reddit so you probably know what that is) which regardless of political views, certainly isn't something I would be proud of being (and due to aforementioned executive functioning skills probably wouldn't be able to be anyways) but other than that its not a recipe for any sort of high level of achievement without a ton of compensation for the lack of intelligence in comparison to most of the modern highly skilled labor force.
And I can only confidently say how unimpressive that is because of how much of my immediate friend group clearly far higher levels of intellectual aptitude than that, I don't know for sure but just knowing them and what they have achieved, I wouldn't be surprised. Many of them performed better and from what I could tell didn't have extremely debilitating ADHD symptoms (or maybe many of them did, but they weren't immediately apparent, I guess it is a pretty common disorder) but I almost cared less about that than them clearly being smarter than me on top of that. The school psychologists actually had a gripe about this mentality, in fact they probably saw it as my number 1 issue, at least from what I could tell since I can't read their minds. I think at the time I was so adamant about it because my belief was the false notion that "intelligence" is just what we call literally every mental function ever, so to say that a lack is somehow not the main cause of my issues of organization I just took as meaningless incorrect statement rather than something I just didn't prioritize. I know that isn't true now, but I still hold on to that desire, only because I feel like that would be a more rewarding experience in general. If you were or are a 2e kid I don't mean to say that you somehow have it easier or have a better life than neurotypical people, whether they are somewhat above average or otherwise, but I think appreciating what you do have is important because some people who know and see its value would literally do anything for it. And the irony is despite people literally being willing to do anything for it, its impossible to obtain. Also just, have a happy life in general no matter who you are, hopefully that cools you down if you just got angry from reading my whining.
Idk why I wrote this like a fucking thesis statement. What I'm trying to say is I would prefer being this "misunderstood genius" or whatever than just Me without ADHD. from what I can tell I'm neither, or just a normal disabled person. I tried to explain why I feel that way, its ok to disagree just try not to be toxic. As far as I know I didn't insult you or even promote offensive view points, and if I did I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to. Thanks...Now I have to go to something I am late for (go figure lol)
edit: I didn't actually end up going to the thing, again go figure.
also ignore the incongruous flair, there weren't really any that fit.
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ADHD
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Posted here the other day and got some good advice, I tried taking a chance and I feel like it fucked me over, Now I feel like my compulsions are almost valid. I have contamination OCD, and often times that manifests itself with food (or blood), if someone else is handling it, fear of getting infected you know the deal. Well, I have been under the weather these past days and unable to go out. after starving myself the whole day thinking of what to do for food I finally convinced myself to order. This is a hard thing for me as someone else is preparing my food as well as someone is carrying it to me. A lot of unknown variables. But I pushed through and ordered. I was so hungry I didn't even inspect my food like I typically do, and after I finished my burger to my disgust I found what looks like hairs in the box where my burger came from (I uploaded the image). The thing is, I know this is something that would probably gross out a normal person, but obviously having OCD it's much worse than that. It could even possibly be an animals hair as I've seen cats roam around this restaurant in person. I'm thinking of every awful disease I could get now, and to top it off, this feels like it validated my obsessions. I need help...
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OCD
|
I just got diagnosed with autism.
But I feel like I don’t relate. I feel like I look “normal” with “normal interests.”
Is it normal to think other people on the spectrum are weird when you yourself are autistic?
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aspergers
|
I honestly don't know what to do. My OCD has gotten significantly worse and my themes are getting more and more upsetting. What is the most troubling to me right now is it constant gaslighting of myself. I take screenshots, pictures, and notes of anything I think I may question myself on later. And now I'm at the point where I question those as well. I'm at the point where I'm convincing myself I did something when I know I didn't do it. This can happen seconds later. Then I go on a long obsession period regarding that for days, even weeks.
So I'm asking you guys, people who may know, what do I do? I have a psychiatrist but I only see him every 3 weeks. There are no ocd specialists near me and even then I'm unemployed atm. I really think I need to check myself into the behavioral health unit of a hospital. I'm on medicine but I don't think it works. I really don't know what to do but I do know that the level my ocd is at now is a threat to my well being. Please advise.
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OCD
|
I (17F) allowed her to vent in tumblr messaging and she has around three times said that she wants to die or harm herself, i want to help her but im terrible with words and dont know what to say.
shes also around 30 years old and i dont know if she knows im 17, its there in my bio thing but i dont think she saw it
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depression
|
Oh my god, I'm so happy. Today was such a great day, I overcame most of my compulsions. I feel so free. It feels so great to have control over your actions again. Finally, therapy is paying off. I just wanted to share this small achievement! Thank you for reading!
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OCD
|
I don’t care if nothing happens to me in them because seeing them in my dreams makes it a nightmare because I feel unsafe. Keeps coming around because something in my waking life reminded me of how people like to overpower someone else in order to get gratification from someone else’s pain. How can I even trust people again? How can I stop dissociating everytime I go outside? This has been going on for a month…and I feel crazy
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ptsd
|
Just wondering if anybody has worked or had a part time job while attending university. Did you think it was a good thing or would you recommend not doing it to concentrate on your studies?
A bit of my background: I'm returning to university, to the second year of the same course I previously dropped out of 6 years ago. I found college difficult initially with how different it was from secondary school, but with a lot of stress, anxiety and extended deadlines I finished my first year with pretty good marks. In my second year there was a bad illness in my family and that on top of everything else had me drop out and try to repeat again the next year but it was all too much for me so I deferred my course completely.
I got a job as a customer assistant 3 years ago where I did well again, I was the best with stock related stuff but not so much dealing with people and up-selling. I've been on sick leave due to anxiety since the start of the pandemic.
During my sick leave last year I got a diagnosis of high functioning ASD.
My deferral period is up so I have go back to college now if I want to finish this degree but I'll get a lot more support now due to my diagnosis, especially with my executive dysfunction. I also told my manager at work about it and he said that there are openings in a larger store where I could try to transfer so I can concentrate more on stock management or even warehouse work.
I was initially going to leave work due to health reasons (as I'm still trying to understand what this diagnosis means for me), concentrate on my studies and then, if I feel like I'm able, apply for a job at the larger store after my first semester finished. The issue is that there might not be any openings in that store at that time as they will hire people for Christmas.
I'm worried that I might be giving up a good opportunity they are giving me to work in retail without very much customer interaction. But if I keep the job it could be extra stress and less time to focus on university. I know no one can make this decision but me but I would really appreciate if any one would share their experiences or opinions.
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aspergers
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Life was a bit less garbage for the last couple of days, has turned into pure garbage again, will try to pick it up again
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OCD
|
As so many I've gradually distanced myself from, well, almost everyone in my life over the course of the last few years. The pandemic made this even worse.
By chance I ran into a couple I used to be close with (we'd play D&D together etc) and struck up a conversation, as awkwardly as it probably was.
They were friendly but obviously not interested. The guy made a comment that they had lots of places to be and they took off. That was the first time in over a year I'd seen or heard them.
Don't think I'll be trying that again anytime soon.
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depression
|
Olay really trigger warning sexual assault I sorta go into detail?
Guys, I didn't know where else to put this. I have PTSD (probably CPTSD) from lots of other things, and I've been on this sub for a couple years. I just don't know where to go with this.
I was assaulted a couple weeks ago (like only 2 weeks ago). It wasn't violent, so it's hard for me to think of it as assault, but I said no. He heard me and even responded. Then he continued. So I guess that means it was assault? I didn't fight against him. I was scared it would make it so much worse. I just sorta mentally froze.
I'm struggling. So much.
I don't really have a support system. I can't talk to my only friends about it because they're too close to my family. I can't talk to anyone in my family about it other than my younger sister who lives three states away and has a newborn to take care of. Plus, she has her own similar trauma that I'm trying not to trigger, so I'm trying not to burden her.
I told my therapist who basically said, "yeah, everyone would be upset in that situation." And that was it.
I don't want to report it because truthfully, there's worse people out there that the legal system needs to go after, and he was extremely high at the time. Yes, I know that doesn't make it okay.
I just. . . I'm so lost. I want to reach out for comfort and support from SOMEBODY but I feel like I'm just whoring for attention since I dont want to report it, and shouldn't need support I guess? Any advice you can give me in this situation would be appreciated.
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ptsd
|
So I had a really bad flashback yesterday after looking at my phone for the time. I had always been told that I am slow and that my parents would leave me if it took me too long to get ready to go somewhere and I’ve always struggled badly with time management so even at school I was told I was slow. So now that this message has been drilled into me along with uplifting phrases such as “I’ll put you in a home if you don’t straighten up.” “Or Why do you have to be so lazy?” All of these things have culminated in my sense of self-assuredness being very flimsy. In the case of yesterday’s flashback, I looked at my phone and then the next thing I knew, I was about 8 or 9 getting ready for school. My fiancé found me 20 minutes later still in the bathroom crying my eyes out and hyperventilating. All I could do is keep apologizing for being to slow and holding onto him for dear life. I’m crazy lucky to have my love especially when shit his they fan. But the point of all this word vomit is just to see if anyone else has had a similar experience, and also, how people cope with a fear of time. I’ve been avoiding looking at the time but it’s literally impossible to do that forever.
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ptsd
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Found that out today. Now I have to hope the lab is legit and a medical review officer actually contacts me.
Pops hot for PCP for anyone interested.
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depression
|
Now that I'm in my late 30s, I'm just too far gone. I don't have any friends. I'm not in the career I want or feel like I belong in. And...tbh I don't want to live much longer in this existence. I don't see how without major changes that I'll get to see 40. It's mostly on me though, I get it now. I've known what my problems were but I just...never really put the effort in required to fix them.
Maybe I just wasn't meant to have a good life. Whether it was nature or nurture...it doesn't matter at this point. I don't feel like I'm capable of solving my problems and now that I'm old, I've run out of time. I wish I could say all I want is another chance to do it right but even if that were a possibility, I think I'd end up in the same place anyway. Fuck this world.
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depression
|
There's a lot of talk about empathy on here, which confused me when I started lurking on this subreddit months ago. I noticed that in English texts about Asperger's it is said that we have difficulties with, or even lack, empathy. And empathy is supposed to be a translation of the German word "Einfühlungsvermögen" which is used in German descriptions, especially older ones.
However, as a bilingual person I would not translate "Einfühlungsvermögen" as empathy. Einfühlungsvermögen is more of an intuitive sense of expected formality and social protocol. Which I think is a more accurate description.
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aspergers
|
Hi all,
I have Aspergers, I've been diagnosed since I was 7.
What I have noticed over the years is in the winter I am a diehard pessimist and I can get pretty dour and miserable, but the moment there's sunshine and warmth my entire mood magneticall flips until I'm a complete optimist and everything feels right with the world.
Does this happen to anybody else? I'm 28 now and beginning to wonder if it's a bit off-normal, even for Aspergers. I take Vit D every day so I don't think I'm deficient there.
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aspergers
|
Disclaimer: I'm getting tested for ADHD this week but I'm pretty sure I have it. Anyway this is relatable to more than just ADHD but it fits here!
My uncle has dyslexia, and possibly ADHD too. But I've always been "smart" so I couldn't possibly have it, my parents would say. So when he told me that the numbers would move, that he just couldn't "try harder" to see numbers right, etc - he said he remembered what I had previously said about mental illnesses: that you can't just "try harder".
He said it was really eye opening. I told him that it was really hard (not impossible!) for me to not have strong emotional reactions or to keep my room clean or do well in college even though I want to. I told him that it's not that I'm using it as an excuse, but that the usual methods that everyone else uses ("just don't worry about it, just ignore it, it's not important, just relax") aren't helpful for me. He said he gets it because "just reread it", or "just read the numbers out loud" doesn't help. Like sure sometimes it might a little, but other times you just need to do what works best for you and you're not gonna be perfect.
I'm really excited to see if ADHD is my problem. Even if it's not, I know now that I can depend on my uncle more than I thought!
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ADHD
|
So I just have found out I have Retroactive jealousy OCD. The constant intrusive thoughts about my gf’s past haunt me every day. It has made me emotionally abusive to her and I hate it.
so I’ve been dating a good girl for 4 months and I genuinely love and care about her. At the beginning of the relationship I had the urge to ask who her best sex was and she told me this guy but she also told me she preferred sex with me. This drove my insecurity up the wall as I have premature ejaculation issues so I never think I can be the best. I asked her about that guy constantly and it became a detriment to our relationship. I could never get this guy out of my head. she told me she tried anal with this guy and hated it and she wouldn’t do it with me, that bothered me even more. Just wait it keeps getting worse.
Fast forward and we got into a huge fight and we broke up for 2 days, during these 2 days while she was single I found out she was texting the same guy I was worried about and sexually flirting with him and planning to meet up. She told me she only texted him back after he reached out to distract herself from me because she loves me so much. We got back together and I tried to get over it and finally decided that she was single so I had no right to get mad about it. Also this keeps getting worse
Last week I urged her to tell me sexual details of her and this guy and she kept saying no but I kept persisting. She finally told me and what she told me will not stop haunting me, she said he performed acts on her that I was too insecure to try, she said they both climaxed at the same time often (we don’t do this), and she said he had sex like a pornstar and she said that was only 10% of what she revealed. I couldn’t handle all of this and still can’t. She continuously tells me she never said he was better than me, she said she has had the opportunity to hook up with him multiple times this year and chooses not to. She says she chooses me over him every single day. She says sex is important to her and if we didn’t have good sexual chemistry than she wouldn’t be with me. She has done everything to reassure me but nothing works, I just know too much now. And the fact that she was sexually flirting with him 2 days after we broke up I can’t get over. She says it’s my fault for asking because I couldn’t handle the answers. I just found out about RJ ocd and I’m trying to do ERP therapy whenever i have these intrusive thoughts but I feel it may be too far gone and I heard too much. Is there anyway I can salvage this? I think my RJ OCD is so bad because I am in love with her. Please. Somebody tell me I’m not alone here, I’ll take any advice
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OCD
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