body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
Yesterday, I self-harmed after a year of being clean. I feel like I failed and am so ashamed. I feel like I hurt my husband and made my sisters feel completely helpless because they were too far away to be there. I had to call him while he was at work and tell him I needed him to come home. He knew what was happening. I just really messed up.
But I finally opened up to my husband about one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. I haven't told anyone about it in great detail. I just let it all out, sobbing and shaking and wanting to run away. He just held me and listened. He validated my feelings and reassured me that nothing was my fault. I've struggled with it for so long, and it has held me back because so many things bring it to the surface again, and I don't want to deal with it. I don't know what brought it to the surface this time, but I had destructive results.
He didn't let me feel like I had messed, though. He reminded me that a relapse doesn't erase the progress I've made. He cleaned me up and sat with me until I was okay again. He checks up on me and reminds me that everything is okay.
I know he's really worried about me and I hate it so much. He'll feel like I can't be alone for too long. He'll check my body as inconspicuously as possible to make sure there aren't any new marks. I wish I wasn't so weak and damaged, but I guess that as long as I'm trying, it'll be okay eventually.
|
ptsd
|
im so fucking sick of just feeling like im about to fly off the fucking handle any time anything goes wrong. today one of the spark plugs in my car went as I was on my way to the city for a nice day out. i wasn't in the best mindset and it completely flipped me.
in that moment all I wanted to do was boot a fucking hole in my car door. if its not outwards out bursts its internal and brings back thoughts of self destruction and mutilation. i am so fucking tired. im just. tired. i work so hard all the time and I always struggle to keep up with the middle of the pack.
im having a hard time lately. ill be safe. i just needed to put this out into the world. im not ok and I hate that I have to pretend that it doesn't bother me or that it hasn't ruined my mood.
|
ADHD
|
I have Mental disorder. This dyslexia is hit me hard on college. I really wanted to be human rights lawyer. But the pandemic force me to choose other career
My efforts just wasted to her. Why the fuck I destroy my agreement to my future wife in long distance relationship? (That she ignore my message in a few month) because I'm acting to be hero to my highschool crush that have serious issue that I report to the fucking police. And hope that she will love me back but is fucking not
I already thinking suicide. I was a 3rd highschool and already attempted 2 times. Two fucking times
And my close friends don't believe me on this. I even thought this quantum suicide/immortality. But they don't still believe me(that I already lost him because of my serious record on the school and possibly police that a lot of people just stay away from me.) I wanted to tell my close friend, don't Blame me, blame the fucking school, they did not do something about bullying
Is just a fucking joke or expression about my disappointed of justice I received in highschool and elementary.
That my mother being me to psychiatrist and give me medication. Not gonna lie. I never feel clam and relax at that point of my time. Than the medication stop and my mother send me to counselor that he been talk therapy me (under pandemic and we rely on phone call) personally I did not all of my problem because the call was not good quality because of the signal
I even request my mother that I want medication but she don't believe me
Those fucking bastard just remove my loyal award Because I been that school kindergarten to highschool
At the beginning that I'm wanted to be human rights lawyer and now I'm already human rights activist
I fucking lose my faith to God Before the pandemic happen That different religions community fighting each other on our country. And is increase Anti-muslim sentiment in our country.
I just wanted to everyone
WTF, where is your humanity!
Lost few years. I already watch a video from YouTube that Good people are easy to get depress
And now I see the paradox. If you are keep surrender you will reach the point of suicide and If you are keep on fighting you will reach the point of no return, we call it murder
I don't know who I really am? And I don't know who I become
I'm worry that I kill someone because of my unstable thought and hate or I kill myself again and again
Or somewhat countrol myself again and again
Or my mother will belive me and bring back my medication
|
depression
|
Just as the title says. After talking about it more in therapy, things that didn't bother me that much before are really getting to me now. Wtf is up with this?
|
ptsd
|
TL;DR I don't know how to motivate myself to cook when I'm poor, struggling with ADHD, unable to clean because of the ADHD, and just general lack of motivation. help!
I have a big issue, and that is I don't know how to manage cooking with ADHD. I buy ingredients to cook things like baked potatoes or pulled pork or even hot dogs (y'know, super easy things), but every time I get hungry I lose all motivation to cook, end up making something small and suuuper simple like cereal or a breakfast bar, I eat leftovers from work (I work the closing shift at a Chick-Fil-A, so my supervisors sometimes let me take home stuff), or I end up asking my husband if we could just get fast food. It's very unhealthy and going out to eat all of the time can get very expensive, so I don't want to do that anymore. The issue is I get excited to cook when I'm buying groceries or looking at my cookbooks, but then I go to the kitchen and realize that we don't have clean dishes to cook with, or our table is messy because I didn't have the motivation or the drive to clean it, or just a simple, "this is too much effort, I'm gonna get McDonald's."
Motivation has been an issue for years now, but before this year I was either living at home with my parents, or going to college that had a cafeteria, so I didn't really need to worry about cooking. But now I'm married, I'm not enrolled in college anymore, and I have to be able to cook for me and my husband or else we won't eat (much less anything good for us). Are there any tips I could get from people on here?
|
ADHD
|
I feel like my life is pointless.
I have slight autism (Asperger's i guess) and i am rapidly losing my will to live.
I am incapable of talking to people due to being an introverted autist piece of shit that i am, and i am doomed to be forever alone, it fucking sucks, like i have been bullied every single year in school, my parents are good, i love them, but they tend to release their aggression on me, even further fucking up my confidence.
My confidence is fucked up beyond all recovery.
Due to lack of confidence i have became passive. I don't go to school. I used to cope with my problems by masturbating like 3 times a day, but now i am too sad to do it. I can't even get a boner due to how sad i am.
Advice would be appreciated
|
aspergers
|
Hello!
I’m trying to become more productive and builds routines for myself. It’s like I build a solid routine and schedule for myself and it works for like a week. And then there’s one “bad day” where I literally just don’t care about anything. Ill feel burnt out and like I need a break. But I feel so shitty because I feel burnt out from something that’s literally half of what a normal person can accomplish in a week. During my bad days, I just beat myself up for not doing anything, yet still being unable to just get it done because it’s just so boring. I’ll stare at my laptop and just see a bunch of words. Like I can’t push myself to focus on it. So I’ll go back on my phone and watch YouTube videos with self deprecating thoughts in the back of mind about how I’m literally not getting anything done. Next thing you know it’s the end of the day and nothings done. And then that one day turns into 2. And then 2 turns into 3. And then it turns into a week. It derails the entire schedule and routine I set up for myself and I just give up. Only to start again. Sometimes it’s the week after. Sometimes it’s next month. It’s like a cycle that takes up so much of my time that I could be using. How do i handle bad days and stop them from turning into even more bad days?
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone,
I (33 f) am pretty sure I have ADHD, but I was wondering how I would go about getting diagnosed. I hear it’s difficult to get diagnosed as an adult and even more difficult when you’re a woman.
Many years ago, my ex tried really hard to get diagnosed. Eventually he was able to get a prescription for adderall but it turned out he only tried hard to get the diagnosis so he could sell the pills. I recall him having to submit school records as a part of the diagnosis protocol.
I would be grateful if you could share your experiences, esp if you are an adult female in the US.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been feeling suicidal the last few days. I keep thinking about how I’m going to do it and the least painless way. Will this pain go away? I just want to fucking die
|
depression
|
I have anxiety and I tend to overthink every situation, especially if I have a lot of time to dwell on it. What are some tips you do to keep your brain from Not overthinking and keeping your anxiety at bay? I tend to go to the extremes and I make myself into a position mentally that I don't want to be in. I try to stop it by distracting myself but as soon as I'm alone I can't stop.
|
depression
|
I was diagnosted about a month ago, not taking meds yet (waiting for some exams). Its been really weird this time, at first I felt so realieved and everything made so much sense, I felt much less guilt about all those thing I always though was just not doing right or doing enough. But it has also been exhausting convincing my family that I really have ADHD and its not an excuse for being lazy and not wanting to try harder, only after the psychologist, psychiatrist and neurologist confirmed the diagnosis they kinda acepted it, but told me I shouldnt for any reason take meds and should try 'natural' solutions, like doing yoga, been more organized, taking suplements, etc. I'm still gonna take meds, but I cant help to feel like I'm not enough, like I should try harder, but the thing is I've tried harder all my life, but my 'harder' it cannot be reconized by the people around me basically because its on my head and they really don't know how much of a struggle for me is to just get out of bed and to take a shower.
Right now Im doing a masters on philosophy and its been so fucking hard to feel smart and dumb at the same time. I had to send an essay last week, my teacher gave me extra time (he's super nice). But I cant focus on doing it and Im very slow, but feel so tired at the same time. Sometimes I think I'm just waiting on the meds to save me and I feel so bad about it.
I'm sorry if this doesnt make much sense hahaha I just needed to let it out.
|
ADHD
|
So I’m on 100mg Luvox at night and it causes me to sweat at night SO BAD. I’m talking I wake up soaking wet every morning. I’ve tried sleeping without a blanket with a fan and nothing seems to work.
Has this happened to anyone else and if so have you found anything to help stop it?
|
OCD
|
So once I decided I needed ERP, I did an exhaustive search with my insurance and there's a ton of generalist who treat OCD, but don't know shit. I found one with a decent caseload of OCD patients with the intention to help me with ERP who after 5 sessions (after being on a waitlist for months, then a 2 week vacation) has ended my care because she wants to focus on EMDR and we didn't even do ERP in session (which I was frustrated with).
I'd pursued a single case agreement, but had an awful time with that (provider didn't submit the SCA after 1.5 months), but I feel like my only options for someone trained in ERP with decent experience is OON. All of the providers on IOCDF are OON/don't take insurance.
Is this my only option? I don't mind spending money on my mental health, but I would need a SCA because otherwise it's $200 a session for however long.
|
OCD
|
I get afraid that I posted something by accident. I’ll check and check my social media again and again and I’m still not convinced that I didn’t post something bad by accident
|
OCD
|
Currently I have a fear of hurting my mother. It’s so bad, I am afraid to fall asleep. I’m afraid if I might do something to her in my sleep. My mind tells me stuff I don’t want to hear, and it just goes on and on. I tell my self things to make my anxiety go away, but it just comes right back. My mind is always disagreeing with me, and it’s making me believe I actually want to hurt someone and my mother. This all makes no sense because me and my mother have a very strong relationship. I just want to make sure I don’t ever hurt her, or anyone. Is this ocd? Or do I actually want to hurt my mother?
|
OCD
|
Do you people get annoyed when someone screw up because they brute force a problem or judge book by its cover?I tend to be the guy whos slow and steady win the race kind of person. And usually indyploy my schedule if theyres a compromise.
For me , these kinds of people tend to get me into trouble, disrupt my future plans etc. I bet my plan for getting a 80s RWD corolla wont be possible due to brute-forced environmentalist.
Honestly, I love tweaking machines to see how far they evolved but it can be disappointment when I cant fulfill that.
|
aspergers
|
so i just started vyvanse, and i’ve been noticing that my neck and head muscles get really stiff, tight and tense, and i feel a dull headache and slight lightheadedness throughout the head and behind my eye.
for reference, i already have occipital neuralgia (type of migraine), but this felt like less nerve irritation/inflammation like i usually get and more like a traditional headache. i’m already on 20-30 mg of amitriptyline for my migraines and general neuropathy, so maybe the vyvanse somehow lessens the effect of it?
i really really need both the stimulant and the amitriptyline and hopefully won’t have to choose between the two. has anyone had experience with the headache side effect, or muscles getting tense and stiff? have any supplements, exercises, stretches, etc alleviated it for you?
thanks in advance!
|
ADHD
|
I'm kinda scared about this. I'm 15M and whenever find someone remotely attractive, OCD tells me I want to them. I took a lot of tests to find my gender and all of them say I'm cis/male but idk I just don't feel convinced that I'm indeed male. I also have really bad body shape which makes me feel feminine. I feel as if I don't care about the thoughts while I really don't want to be the thing that it's been telling me. I'm scared if I will get gender changing surgery in the future, I seriously don't want to be a woman I just want to be normal and not be obsessed about everything
|
OCD
|
TL; DR: Was curious if it is common amongst my Aspie brothers and sisters to ‘project’ my condition on others as a way to try to understand it.
I’m in the process of getting diagnosed (I get the final report Wednesday), but since I realized that I’m probably autistic and most likely Asperger’s I’ve been seeing autism all around me, my parents and brother, and my favorite comedians and musicians.
In fact, the reason I’m asking this question is I want to write a review of my favorite album(cd) of my favorite band, whom I’m positive are autistic as well. But I don’t want to offend anyone by suggesting they are autistic. Some more examples:
I moved back with my parents recently and on one of the firsts days I was back I stopped by a neighbor of my parents (who’ve I met before, a long time ago). I had met the husband prior but not the wife. I had assumed she was autistic as well and wanted to talk to her about it. I knew that she was a major introvert, that she was an amazing artist (yarn/textiles) (one of my interests, I’ve been tie dying shirts lately. So I stopped at their house rang the bell and asked if I could talk to her. I guess she wasn’t autistic (or wasn’t aware of her condition yet). They were very nice when I went to apologize to them.
My mom screamed at me when I got home saying “Don’t talk to our f-ing neighbors!”. I suspect she might be a ‘vanity narcissist’, she was definitely drunk at the time...although that was my last post...A couple days ago (see this post if interested:
https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/l8nbsi/an_aspie_raised_by_narcissists/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I projected autism onto my family, but soon realized that they are in fact narcissists (which I guess is a form of autism).
So if this is a common belief amongst newly discovered Autistics then maybe I’ll hold off reviewing this cd (Radiohead’s ‘In Rainbows’).
|
aspergers
|
How do you describe it in a good way so you it sounds good to a future employer and do you have any tips for someone who want to work in the hospitality and tourism sector that is on the spectrum?. (My special intrests is languages and culture/tourism )
I don't have any work experience to be honest with any type of work.
|
aspergers
|
Just needed to vent. I feel worn out and alone. Just mentally and emotionally. I just started a new job and idk if it's the right fit. Just trying to fit in with my new co workers and different pace than I'm used to..
Also feel like I'm always there for my friends who are never there for me back. Family is there a little of the time. Though I'm there for everyone when they need it. It drains you being nice all the time.. Videogames and Soccer are my outlets were I can usually de stress or at least feel happy momentarily. Lately though my friends or thereof make me feel like the odd one out in both.. so its starting to get to me more and more.
|
depression
|
My grandmother died when I was 19 but for some reason I still dream about her house and things going on in there. Mostly just people there talking. I dream about the tv room that I used to lounge around in as a kid. The couches, the flower wallpaper, the shaggy brown carpet, the popcorn ceiling, the way the room would seem like it would break if you jumped up and down (she had a lot of fragile stuff in that room).
I'd dream about her sometimes too, like nothing ever happened. It's so nostalgic, I just wish I could go back and tell her how much I loved her. Back when I had family who cared about me and politics didn't matter. I don't even know why I'm thinking about it now, it's been 10 years since her passing but for some reason, I still keep having dreams about her house.
I wish I could go back.
|
depression
|
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this subreddit. I've always known I had OCD but was diagnosed about 3 years ago. I used to be in CBT back in my undergrad days but since graduation have been seeing a different therapist. My current therapist doesn't do CBT or ERP, or treat OCD. I didn't realize how bad my OCD was and that's why I was comfortable seeing her. She's really great but I'm looking for another therapist who does CBT. I'm a little confused though. How does CBT/ERP work? Like I get that for fear of spiders you work your way up to holding a spider. But what if your fears are more abstract? Like what if someone has Sexual orientation ocd or harm ocd? What then? It obviously doesn't make sense to work your way up to harming someone or sleeping with someone you don't want to sleep with. But then is not doing those things an avoidance? I'm really just so confused and idk if I'm making any sense!
|
OCD
|
I long for a release, something to help me feel something - anything. I can’t feel happiness, or even sadness. I can’t feel excitement or amusement. I can pretend to, I can look like I am, but I’m not. I can feel pain though. I cut my skin and release some of this pressure in the form of my blood. I’m finally feeling something, and I can continue to feel something, as long as they’re new, and stinging. The ‘thing’ that makes me, me, comes back for a while, needing to tend to the pain. But it’s a bandaid for a bullet wound. The pain goes away, and so does the ‘thing’, no longer immediately needed. And where does that leave me? I cut myself again, and again, and again, longing for it to come back. I’m covered in the evidence of my own desperation to not be this way.
|
depression
|
im on social media a lot, and recently ive almost been going to comment really fucked up things that i “believe” for a second, then a split second later remembering that i dont agree with that at all. things like making fun of rape victims, saying people are faking depression, gay people are sick, etc. i hate myself for thinking them and i know i completely disagree with everything i think and i just hate it. makes me second guess myself and wonder if thats really what im like.
|
OCD
|
For example, I get a visual image of me cheating on my bf who I love dearly and then feels something in my stomach and adrenaline racing and like I have to do something?? Is it that an urge to cheat even though I definitely don’t want to? Or an urge to rid myself to the anxiety? It’s just adrenaline racing and I feel like I’m entering panic and flight or fight mode and I’m seeing this as an urge because it’s so intense but I’m not sure if it’s more so anxiety??? But deep down I definitely would never wanna cheat on my love and this scares me so much
|
OCD
|
It’s been 3 months of calling practitioners, cold emails, etc, finally seeing a therapist who I thought could diagnose me only for her to tell me she’s not licensed to do that, now I’m back to square one of calling up random doctors from my insurance page. There’s 863 of them to be exact and yet NO ONE can answer the call? I need to know what’s up with my brain before I get out of college bruh. Am I the only one for whom this is proving to be a never ending process.
|
ADHD
|
I work in television as a Production Coordinator. Half the month I'm 9am-5pm in an office in pre-production planning and logistics, half the month I'm 7am-7am supporting the production crew on set - while also managing a PA team.
It's so many balls in the air and I do think majority of the time I'm in the "zone" in either setting. In the office I am hyper-focus queen, I have my bujo list, do check-ins often, my manager is supportive, solution-oriented, and praises me often for my work performance. I enjoy the routine of it, though I could not imagine doing only that indefintley.
On-set, he is not there, and I act as liason between production and crew. The crew comes to me with all their needs/wants/problems, and I do my best to support them by coordinating the constantly moving parts. It's exciting, it's adrenaline pumping, it's problem-solving, quickly assessing, prioritizing and making decisions. There is ALWAYS a sense urgency on-set, which is great for staying engaged and on-the-ball, but the issue arises that I am still expected to do and produce the same kind of work I do in the office(ie reconciling receipts, research, logistical planning for a later date, responding to emails quickly etc) which does not have the same level of urgency. And has much more distactions, and I am constantly getting pulled away from my "office". So I forget or procrastinate.
I crush it on set, the crew loves me, I produce quick results and the crew is appreciative of my hardwork. But he doesn't see that. He only see's my falling behind and making mistakes everywhere else, and I feel like I'm going to lose my job. He says he understands, but I know this is an ADHD symptom, and can non-ADHD people ever truly empathize with how our brains work?
Looking for advice, because I told him i was overwhelmed as I was having to step-in and do a lot of PA work and get pulled away from my 'office', but now I just feel like employing me/someone with ADHD is more costly than employing an non-ADHD person who doesn't let urgency trump importance/consequences.
I'm having trouble with how to explain in laymans terms how to explain my issue, and how to support it without it sounding like I just can't handle the job. Because I can and want to.
|
ADHD
|
Thankfully this doesn’t stay in my head too long, but with the recent 1ye anniversary of my friend’s unexpected passing, got me thinking I’m the reason.
If I hadn’t met my Ex, I wouldn’t of had that BDay party where my friend “O” met a girl he ended up moving out of state for. My friend that died took it extremely badly since he didn’t say goodbye before he left. The drinking got really bad. Started detoxing, would be clean for a week or two then be drinking again. Well one of the times they detoxed they fell and hit their head or had a stroke and fell (no autopsy to be sure).
Hence my logic is if I never met my ex wife that “O” would not have met his eventual ex and left the state and my friend would be alive.
|
depression
|
I was recently assessed and it did not go well. The psychologist doing the assessment spent a significant amount of time (at least 30 minutes of the hour and a half long appointment) asking me questions about my early childhood (ages 0-8). I'm 38 years old so I honestly couldn't give him many great answers. In the end I was told the most he could diagnose me with was SCD because there wasn't enough evidence of restricted, repetitive behaviors especially in my early childhood. I know I have some now and even went over some with him but for some reason the early childhood ones seemed more important.
I'd like to look into a second opinion but before I do I want to make sure I have a better history of my early childhood. I'm going to ask my parents some questions but I don't really know what I should be asking then. Does anyone know of a questionnaire or survey type thing that I could give my parents so I'm better prepared for next time?
|
aspergers
|
I will need to talk to my therapist in two days about my real-event OCD. I am so scared and I can't stop obsessing and crying. I need someone to talk to ... I am so scared she will see me as a horrible person.
|
OCD
|
Just curious, as I was dismally depressed, suicidal, & had anxiety for about 30yrs. The depression just sort of faded away but the anxiety drove me to seek treatmemt. When I took the depression test I was on the low end of normal but recognized that I'd lived with the "no" questions before & just a few years ago I would have scored at the top end. My anxiety test was very high end, of course, which led to the CPTSD diagnosis when symptoms & history were assessed. I'm just really curious if this came up for anyone else? If so, how does this happen?
|
ptsd
|
(It’s a bit of a read) Hi, my name is savanna, this is the first post that I’m revealing my actual name because I want this to be accurate you don’t have to put your real name if you want to remain anonymous, I just feel kind of lost. I’m 15, female, and I have PTSD. I was abused my whole life by my mother, father, and grandmother. I have dealt with bullying all my life which I’m able to put up with now but I hadn’t always had the support I do now and I’m afraid the damage has already been done anyway. It’s not the bullying that gave me my condition (among many) but I was raped/molested/and abused by my father at age 8-11(stopped before my first period) and I was never treated for anything and still haven’t been. This has let everything fester and boil and grow and it’s taken over my brain entirely, I can’t live a normal life and I don’t know what to do. I live with my aunt and uncle and we argue a lot because I misunderstand everything bc of my triggers and it’s so hard. I was forced to grow up and nobody even knew about my sexual abuse until this year, I never told anyone because one day in middle school I was talking to my best freind since pre-k and I told her that my father abused me bc I couldn’t hold it in anymore without completely self destructing. She told me she didn’t care, so I never told anyone again for fear of what would happen until now, and I feel very lost. I had the chance at a normal life stolen from me along with many other things, I lost my chance to have parents and now I’m stealing that my cousins parents. I feel like I’m going to owe them for the rest of my life and I’ll ruin my cousins childhoods as well, I feel as tho me and my baby brother (8) are stealing their parents and I’ll never be able to give that back. Is there anyone like me? Are there any teens in here with the same experience? Adults? Why can’t I just be ok and happy now that I’m not in the situation anymore? I feel like I’m no longer in control of my own mind...
|
ptsd
|
I am hurt, I have lost every hope to live,I have nothing to live for, I don't wish to live. I should not live. But I cant kill myself, I decided that I will kill myself but I could not. I am such a coward. Oh God please let me die, please let me die, please let me die, I cant take anymore, please let me die.
|
depression
|
I’ve noticed that when I’m on vyvanse I’m much more likely to stutter. I’ve never had a problem with stuttering at all before, but some days on vyvanse it’s really noticeable.
Those of you who get this, got any advice?
How do you deal with it?
Is there any way to get rid of the stuttering?
(I’ve joined an org and we have a podcast, I’d love to stutter less for it. But not taking vyvanse isn’t an option for me)
|
ADHD
|
Hi! I'm 20F and currently undiagnosed but am quite sure I have ADHD (combined type). On mobile so please forgive crap formatting.
My story summarized:
I did well grade-wise in school but struggled a lot internally and never told my parents how difficult it was for me to do long-term assignments like essays, projects, etc (my least favorite subjects). My parents also did not seem to pay attention, or they brushed off whatever I said until they forgot about it.
I'm now in university, dealing with PTSD (diagnosed), and trying desperately to get diagnosed with ADHD. I have all the symptoms and struggles that people here talk about. The psychologist didn't believe me though.
I got evaluated by my university counseling center's psychologist but she put doubt in my mind from day one. My test results came back that I'm intelligent, but have a hard time maintaining attention, have disorganized thoughts, and am anxious.
She doesn't think I have ADHD, stating that "my scores are too high" i.e. "you're did well in school, you can't possibly have ADHD." It seemed like she didn't really actually know much about ADHD besides the stereotypes of rambunctious little boys.
She also asked my parents questions about my childhood as part of the evaluation process, but my parents don't even know/remember my childhood well enough to actually give truthful answers.
Now I'm sitting here sobbing because now I'll have to find another testing center, pay more money, and have to do all this testing all over again. I'm so sad. I'm on my own at university in a different state with parents that forget about me.
If y'all have any advice for how to deal with this, or could tell your diagnosis stories, that'd be great. Thanks :')
|
ADHD
|
I think I have had depression for over two years know but I havent gone to therapy mostly because my parents dont believe in that, covid has ruined me, and I dont know what to do I used to be this fun extroverted girl with a lot of friends and boys behind her, I used to be really happy with that life of mine, but when covid appeared all of that disappeared, now I hardly go out because I live with my parents who have quite some health problems and if they ever get infected they most probably wont come out alive.
I have become someone who says she enjoys spending time with her family 24/7 and watches anime but i genuinely dont know if I really enjoy this or if it is just my copping mechanism.
I miss my old self and I dont know if I will ever see her.
|
depression
|
Last November I witnessed my friend get in a major accident which resulted in my PTSD. Ever since then I've been STRUGGLING with showering and I don't know why. I've been forcing myself to shower so it's not like I have poor hygiene, it just usually takes hours of convincing myself and it's exhausting. I used to shower everyday and that's definitely not it anymore. I'm not sure why this is a thing because it's nothing related to the accident but I don't know what to do. Anyone have any tips?
Side note: I want to try listening to music or something to make it more positive but usually by the time I convince myself to shower it's too late at night
|
ptsd
|
I 30(M) am dating a 29F. I’m very selective with who I date and truly value her. However when I heard her partner count I became triggered and immediately felt less emotion / attraction. This has happened in ALL of my relationships… and then it lies dormant while single (while I think I wouldn’t care next time).
She told me that her number was 7, all of which were “relationships” I guess you would say. 4 of them were long term relationships and 3 of them were shorter relationships, 3-4 months, 5-6 months, and 8-9 months.
She told me that she very rarely had sex due to not desiring it and also that she was never really sexually attracted to any of her past partners but that after putting sex off for quite some time, she felt obligated because society enforces that “sex is supposed to happen in a relationship”
Now at 30 years old, I’m aware most others will have a sexual past, quite possibly more than my girlfriends, however that doesn’t shake my feelings towards this. I am in constant rumination, I mean 24/7… if I’m awake, I’m thinking about it. I know it sounds lame but it makes the world around me feel dark.
I’m starting to think it’s OCD and even considering medication. I’ve bought books, courses, had a counselor, currently have a therapist, and it’s still weighing on me heavily to the point that I consider breaking up just so I can be relieved of this constant sadness / depression.
The rational side of me says the number is quite low and to be thankful for an honest beautiful woman but the irrational side of me says that I can never take pride in her being “my girlfriend” or “my wife” because another man has had her before… which once again, any woman I date near my age will likely have been with other men.
Thoughts?
Does anyone else with OCD tendencies deal with anything similar to this specific subject?
|
OCD
|
It feels like I've tried everything.
Medication, therapy, mental hospital, ECT, exercising, meditation...
Nothing has helped. What else is there? Am I doomed to be miserable for the rest of my life?
|
depression
|
I hate that I have to deal with this stupid disorder and feel things and have thoughts that I don't even want. I hate it when someone touches my things, intrudes my privacy or argues about it. And with a primitive and conservative family who doesn't give a fuck about privacy whatsoever, it is so hard to cope with everything. I cry like 10 times a day because my brother is monstrous and enjoys how I can get triggered so easily and cry. My grandmother keeps telling my how privacy was never a thing back then. And my parents don't believe in any sort of mental health or therapy. I am so sick of living like this. Everyone thinks I'm being irrational and what I feel is not justifiable. I hope I die somehow, I can't kill myself but I hope something happens and I have a quick and peaceful death very soon.
|
OCD
|
Understanding of myself.
Sharing with those that understand me. In person or by voicecall.
No pills (I dont want drugs anymore, I want to know me better, to evolve)
Giving up addictions that make my reward system being a mess.
Forcing me to daily walking (I have an app) and some workout with dumbbells (healthy dopamine)
Eating without sugar, no junk food (it creates anxiety and affect the hormones)
Trying to help others or support them here in reddit.
|
depression
|
How to prevent stuff like not being able to play a game until I’ve played another etc. I know it’s fake but my mind makes up consequences that never exist and it’s scary
|
OCD
|
Some of the weirdest magical thinking distortions I’ve had are about specific numbers and days. I keep looking for a “signal” in the world when things will turn around and suddenly everything will turn out great and I will embark on a grand adventure and become super successful and beautiful and glorious.
I also have weird thoughts about the devil, and that’s weird because I am an atheist, but for the longest time I was convinced that my childhood Faustian pact would bring me wealth and success.
Oh well.
My OCD brain is so twisted. It’s always looking for a story to “make sense” of my life. To create meaningful narrative. A hero’s journey.
That’s what I’ve always wanted.
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone,
I have a question
Whenever u expect something but end up getting disappointed then sudden distressful abusive thoughts arise (or flash in mind) within a second
So do u consider these thoughts as intusive or intentional?
|
OCD
|
I've been over-brushing for years and now my gums have started to recede.
|
OCD
|
Alright I’m back again with this same question.
After urinating I can clearly see myself wiping and I count but after the OCD makes me think I didn’t wipe or that it wasn’t good enough or almost as if it just didn’t even register to my brain that I did as I’m seeing myself wipe. I will literally wipe my vagina like 30 times no joke. But why is it when I see myself wiping I feel that I didn’t and I get anxious to the point where I excessively wipe 30 plus times? How can I over come this?
|
OCD
|
I just want to know if I'm alone in this or if it's a common effect after therapy.
I suffer with PTSD and have cyclothymic disorder and have been having therapy for the last 4 months I left the armed forces in 2016 after 7 years of service where I was unfortunately in a few incidents that left me with some trauma both mentally and physically.
I have therapy monthly but after attending I am left for days after with this feeling of guilt and confusion , It makes me feel so uneasy and tbh scared that I'm questioning the process ?
I just want to get back to being able to apart of social events and feel some safety in being outside without having to have my fight or flight hat on all the time .
And be able to sleep a full night without having a night terror.
Is this normal when tackling traumatic events , will it get better ?
If anyone has any experiences they can share it would be appreciated.
Thanks all keep safe .
|
ptsd
|
I've started to say, "phew. that was spicy!" to myself after a particularly bad panic attack/flashback.
|
ptsd
|
I was talking to a friend who has High Functioning Autisim, and the way he approaches conversations seemed very similar to the way I approach them.
I’m very confident that I don’t have Autism, so I found it pretty interesting that we use the same coping mechanisms to solve two differing problems.
Specifically, I tend to over analyze every social situation and repeatedly go through checklists in my head about how I would react to a random interaction. For example, I’ll get stuck in thought loops of, “if they say this, then I’ll say this, which might prompt them to respond,” etc. I also obsessively track body language in other people and read a lot about body language. My friend who has high functioning autism said he did all the same stuff.
The interesting bit, is that we do it for different reasons. My friend said he methodically approaches interactions because he has trouble understanding other people’s emotions and found this way easier. Personally, I am good at sensing people’s emotions, but my OCD obsessively ruminates on every social interaction I’ve had until I’ve convinced myself that I made a mistake.
I vaguely remember having therapists mention that OCD and Autism are somewhat connected, similar to the way that OCD and ADHD are connected, is that true?
Do other people on here obsessively re-play all the things they say until their certain they made a made a catastrophic mistake (when they didn’t do anything wrong)? If so, do you have any good advice for overcoming that?
|
OCD
|
I’ve been seeing somebody weekly for the last 5 months. I picked him off of a limited list of providers because he does EMDR, and I’d been recently diagnosed with PTSD. Things seemed to be going well for the first 2 months or so, and I’d leave our sessions feeling optimistic. We tried to get into EMDR, but couldn’t get very far – he said I’m too dissociated to continue. So we scaled things way back, and took baby steps – or so it seemed.
For the last 6 weeks or so, I’ve left our sessions feeling dejected. We’ve been so stuck on my current state of depression, that all we talk about is how I’ve felt over the last 7 days. I’ve never been known to be very in-tune with my feelings, so the frustration of grinding over “I don’t know, I’m just scattered/stressed/agitated” every. Single. Week. Has me dreading returning for more. This last session, we talked about how I could change up my down-time with a new video game - after I'd just gotten done telling him I was trying really hard to reduce my screen time because I can't control how late I stay up on the PC. It was like he hadn't heard me.
Because I recognize that I’ve been wanting to avoid seeing him because of this, I gathered all of the courage I have and sent him an e-mail. (Feels like a monumental task compared to just ghosting.) I described my frustration, and asked if we could possibly dive a little deeper than the last 7 days. I also asked if I have a treatment plan, and if he could explain it to me. I explained that I’ve noticed our sessions have lacked the depth they used to and we seem to leave things on a bad note *every* week.
This is my first serious attempt at therapy, so I’m not keen on “quitting” unless it’s justified. He thanked me for my e-mail and gently reminded me that I signed something that said we cannot discuss my treatment outside of our sessions. I said I understood and then waited a week to hash this out face to face, which was not fun.
But the session never came, because he had “tummy troubles”. This is the second time in a month he has had poo-poo problems right before our session and couldn’t meet with me. Look, I know from experience that if I ask hard questions and then someone avoids me, it’s because they don’t know the answer and they're buying time until they have an answer I like.
Is it an overreaction on my part to find a new therapist? I have no idea if my expectations are too high. Is this normal? - Do you also dread your sessions? Please, any feedback is welcome. I know myself, and I know that if I quit, I’m likely to turn my nose up at starting it up again with someone new for a while. What would you do?
|
ptsd
|
Think xenu will kill me. Thetans are my soul. I dont get it.
|
OCD
|
I’m based in California and I feel like my diagnosis was relatively simple compared to some of the stories I’ve read on here. I had been seeing a therapist for 6-7 months who shared with me that she believes I may have ADHD. After that I saw a psychiatrist who did an assessment with me, asked me a bunch of questions about my current lifestyle and experience as a kid. And then I was diagnosed. Does anyone share this experience? Sometimes I feel like my diagnosis happened too fast but that may be my imposter syndrome as well. I researched ADHD for months before approaching a psychiatrist and genuinely believe I have it. I thought it may be helpful to get the input of others too to see what their experience was.
|
ADHD
|
I can't have fun, even watching movies, anime and etc...
I just enjoy things while high on weed (which I use once or twice a month).
Is there an inverted dopamine fastening to bootstrap dopamine production or something? I have no ideia.
|
depression
|
Has anyone experienced conversation in their head after drinking, usually the one that you had that night while drinking, basically a replay of words, sounds from that night? It's most noticeable before falling asleep or waking up.
I'd categorize those as intrusive thoughts.
|
OCD
|
I got off the phone with the suicide hotline about an hour ago and i gotta say it didn’t help one bit, i know it has worked for other people and glory to them but i honestly feel like i’m screwed. Going to therapy is an option but that’s just more expenses and for what? just to have them hand me a bottle of anti depressants and tell me that everything’s gonna get better? it’s not like the therapist cares if i live or die anyway.. I feel like i literally have no one to talk to and i wouldn’t want to trigger anyone in my life by talking about the things i’m going through. I’ve never had a friendship that hasn’t fallen out and i’m in uni now and everyone says it’s easy to make friends but it’s really not, i know people will grow tired of me over time and leave me like everyone else and i just feel so hated and alone and it’s becoming unbearable because it’s not like i have the confidence to make up for that. On top of all that, i’m basically failing school WHILE on academic probation and if i don’t pass this year they kick me out, i don’t know what to do.
|
depression
|
I was talking to someone to see about getting into erp, and he talked about working through "Torture triggers"
and honestly? That is one of the most VALIDATING things I have heard in such a long long time, it's the first time I ever heard it and it just clicked in my head and felt like, fuck yeah its a torture trigger, like this is big, this is hard, this isn't just some silly little thoughts some people make it out to be. I don't know why but it just did a lot for me to hear that.
|
OCD
|
I don't know if someone hit me on the head really, really hard, but I have done some sincerely smooth brained things in the past day. Not only did I impulsively delete my reddit account (which is actually inconsequential compared to the latter action), but I also tried breaking up with my girlfriend because I thought it be the best for her.. without. fucking. consulting her.
It took a few sobering reddit users and a bit of sleep for me to approximate just the size of the brain-bleeding stupidity I have employed within the past few days. It has been a LONG ass time since I've done something this fucking deplorable. We all do impulsive things, SURE, but NOT to this extent.
Dear God, I have a whole list of fucking mental disorders, but NONE could excuse the sheer fucking detestableness of my latest behavior.. and I acknowledge that fully.
|
ADHD
|
I have aspergers, depression, and anxiety. I'm tired of being autistic and it's genuinely destroying my life. I know aspergers has something to do with how the thamulus processes information, and that it usually comes out of a sensory overload at early development. There must be some way to fix the thamulus?
|
aspergers
|
on day 3 of no food and water. Nothing but pills and music. I feel the journey is finally takeing over. Luciddreams In synch with music. I could cry.
|
depression
|
Has anyone ever heard of/used guided reading strips? I’m not sure how I feel about the colors.. but here’s what has me thinking about them.
When I was younger I always used a bookmark or piece of paper to follow along with each line. I would move the bookmark down each line as I read. This really helped me focus on just the one line I’m reading at a time. Otherwise, my brain is overwhelmed by all of the words on the pages. I recently started doing this again and WOW I can read so much faster this way and find that I am FAR less distracted. I have no idea why I picked it up as a child and not sure why I stopped doing it.
I do not have dyslexia, but wondering if it is some other kind of visual learning difference. Could just be my adhd.
Don’t knock it before you try it!
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone, so recently I have been having this ocd where I can’t stop focusing on my thoughts. Like I keep obsessing over why did I just think that, did I just want to think that, why did I choose that thought over another. It feels like I’m never ok, something feels off, I honestly feel like I’ve focused so much on my thoughts and why I think the way that I do that I feel like something is wrong with me. I feel like I broke myself and I never feel ok or satisfied.
I now also fear brain damage from a concussion I had 2 years ago causing this - I fell and hit my head when I was drunk. I got an MRI recently and it came back clean but I’m still worried because I’ve heard mri can miss brain damage/CTE. I’m so nervous all the time and can’t focus and concentrate and that further reinforces the idea I may have brain damage that lead to this kind of thinking. I really can’t tell if this is all anxiety or if I have something much worse going on.
This is really weird and hard to explain but if anyone has any advice that would be great.
|
OCD
|
No matter what I have in life I can never be happy. I feel like I’m always running away from life. I wake up crying wishing it would end. The only thing that keeps me here is my dog. I don’t know what true happiness is, I just want peace in my mind and can’t ever find it. I fall for women, but as always I’m not what they want. The only success I know is my career. I can’t sleep, barely eat and just want to run away and end things. I have friends, but always feel alone. Will life ever get better? Why can’t I just be ok?
|
depression
|
Triggered by a TV show I stupidly decided to watch lol.
|
ptsd
|
Hello everyone!
Does anyone have any suggestions for improving their checking OCD? I’m always interested in learning more, and trying out new ways to improve and get better.
Thank you in advance!
|
OCD
|
Pocd is a living nightmare.
Even as I’m typing this, the awful thoughts are flooding my mind and giving me false feelings. I’m scared. These thoughts aren’t real right. A part of me knows it’s just nonsense, but the thoughts are awful and yet the thoughts are trying to convince me I like them or I’m in denial. It’s awful. My antidepressants aren’t even helping anymore.
|
OCD
|
I discussed this diagnosis with my psychiatrist, and she was more focused on my anxiety and depression. It all seems surreal to me and at this point after having 3 more sessions with my counselor, he has been hitting the nail on the head with all of the helpful tips and his assumptions about my behavior and how I perceive things. I really want to get a solid diagnosis, my psychiatrist said we’ll tell about it more next time but I don’t think she has much experience with asdh. My big questions right now are who should I tell, can I get help in college, and what are the ramifications for employment, disability and things of that sort?
|
aspergers
|
I can easily laugh at things, and sometimes things that are not considered funny to others, its as if I see some deeper meaning or connection with something that other non-adders wouldnt make and it can make me totally laugh, sometimes thinking about certain scenarios or conversations going a certain way can also make me laugh..
.. Anyone else here have this sort of thing going on?
|
ADHD
|
I am so sorry if this has been asked before.
Here is my current situation:
Last weekend I went home to visit my family. I love my family now but growing up I lived in an emotionally abusive environment. While visiting I had 2 night terrors and I haven't had one in months. To add to that, my already awful OCD just skyrocketed in severity. I can't even get out of bed out of intense fear and the need to do a bunch of compulsions. On top of this I ran out of my medication and when I went to get a refill was told that there is no medications on my file. To be fair, I am not medicated for my OCD but was medicated for my depression and anxiety, and being off my meds for that sure can't be helping. I am struggling a lot. I took a leave of absence from work because I had planned to admit myself to a mental hospital but I can't find a good one near me. I thought about going to the ER but I won't be able to afford that. I am genuinely losing my mind right now and have no idea what to do. (I also have called every therapist in my insurance network but the soonest I can get in to anywhere is at least three months. I can't wait three months.) Where do I go from here??
|
OCD
|
Hocd saying I’m lying about being straight my whole life
|
OCD
|
I’m trying to fantasize about women my age or above but I keep getting intrusive thoughts of characters from cartoons and anime that are 17. (I’m 19 btw) and I even get intrusive thoughts about the girls that are my age being 17 as well. Kill me.
|
OCD
|
So I am really interested to know my genes and what my future children might get from me. Also brain scan to see if you can recognise adhd brain. Ive read that toodlers adhd brain is more recognisable than adults. What are your guys thoughts? Did you go through brain scans, gene tests etc? I'd really love to know how much did they cost and did they really help. I've searched through my country's gene test options and it doesnt show the availability of mental health gene test etc, i hope to find if there's a company in europe that does it and what i might be prone to get later in life if my lifestyle or environment changes etc. :) ty.
|
ADHD
|
Once or twice a year, I learn something new about proper hygiene. Like I figured out just a few years ago that you're supposed to lather your hands first before washing. Or that your supposed to use a washcloth instead of a loofah.
I recently [read this thread](https://amp.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/99kqbv/what_are_some_poor_hygiene_mistakes_that_many/) and I realized how poor some aspects of my hygeine is . I feel so embarrassed of myself; on so many levels. Anyone here who can also relate and hopefully give me some more good tips?
|
aspergers
|
Hello all- one of my biggest challenges as an ADHDer is, as the title says, RSD. I get so much guilt and heartbreak at any sort of perceived disappointment. It's made it almost impossible for me to make new friends, or put myself in any sort of social situation. I'm so afraid of being embarrased, or be seen as stupid, that I always try to go above and beyond in anything and everything.
Needless to say, this is an exhausting way to live. I want to be kinder to myself, to breathe a little, to maybe not feel like I need to give everyone the world to deserve at least a sliver of affection.
Any stories or personal tips to share?
|
ADHD
|
25F. I need some advice. Actually idk what I am really asking for here. Maybe I am just venting about my frustration.
I’ve had ADHD diagnosed since I was 13 (luckily my mother has ADHD as well and recognized the young female signs of it and got me treated). I’ve been taking different medications and treatments since then. currently I have been taking adderall 20-40mg/day for the last few years which seems to be working but as of late I feel like my body has gotten used to it that it doesn’t work as much, but whatever, that is beside the point.
I am a healthcare provider… start work at 6:30am and have my own schedule of patients starting at 7am-5pm. We have been PACKED. Working late and through lunches to fit in patients so I have been exhausted. I am also taking classes to go back to school. My symptoms of adhd have definitely gotten worse but it’s at the point I can control it VERY well in the attention aspect at work and still provide above standard care and attention to my patients so actual job performance when I am present is not an issue. I’m very good at being a provider and a coworker at the office.
Background info-I had been having a lot of trouble hearing my alarm in the mornings and being late for patients around the beginning of this year in the Spring. I had some blood tests and found I was also very severely deficient in B12 due to absorption issues. Got on a high supplemental dosage of that and helped the problem almost 100%. (For those who do not know, B12 is essential for mental capacity, mood regulation, and fatigue)
Fast forward to now, I don’t know why, but my insurance is f*cking with me the last few weeks and won’t give me my supplemental dosage of B12 OR my adderall. My body is freaking out. Today I just woke up at 10am to a day full of rescheduled patients since I was MIA for the morning. The office manager, front desk, and the other providers are getting annoyed with me. I don’t know what to do or how to explain this situation in terms where my boss and coworkers would understand. Being without the adderall especially. My body chemistry is so messed up right now. I’m sitting here balling my eyes out and am just so disappointed in myself.
Has anyone else had trouble waking up to their alarms and in result affecting their job performance? It’s not that I ignore the alarm and sleep in. My brain literally DOES NOT even hear it and gets me in trouble.
TLDR; insurance won’t give me my adderall and i don’t know how to explain my job performance due to not having my medications to my non-ADHD office manager…
EDIT: typo
|
ADHD
|
Does someone even get cured from depression?
​
I have it for years now, sometimes it get better but usually is worse. I slept 12-15 hours today again, Im really tired.
|
depression
|
21 male here.
I have 5 months till my diagnosis. Should I suffer with my symptoms or should I already work on dealing with them? I have been feeling better with tips intended for people with ADHD.
However, I feel like a fraud for working on my (rather obvious) symptoms, without having the official diagnosis...
|
ADHD
|
I longed for my death for months now. I know some people have it worse compared to me, but some days, all I want is to venture the galaxy in search of myself and who I am. Cause all I do at night is listen to lofi music and watch the stars wondering what’s the stars shape and everything. I have been through depression for about 7 years. The first time I had mentioned anything to my family, they told me I was making excuses cause I was failing and I was an attention seeker. I locked up and shut my mouth to the point where I sit in my car crying for hours, not wishing my life was different but just to be happy. I recently have fixed my grades and am in a relationship. I turned away from toxic friends who ruined me, but somehow, somehow I still feel like shit. Everyday is another battle. The worse part is i’m losing. So I took a different approach, I am going to a doctor soon to get meds. I don’t care how fucked up I get, I just need something to keep me going. But I am afraid, I have been afraid of those meds, afraid of the afterlife, afraid of hurting others. I just don’t know how much I can do. Also, I know I shouldn’t have but I would try to drink away my sorrows, tried smoking weed and even tried doing dumb shit to see if it could kill me. I just needed to let this out of my head, thanks for reading. I hope to be happy one day:)
|
depression
|
My occ- therapist told me a few things. (these are based on my life adjust as needed)
1. For online asynchronous classes set the same time each week, go to the library and behave like its a real class.
2. if you are having trouble doing something dedicate 30 mins to it. Don't want to take notes for physiology class? Sit down for 30 mins, if at the end you still find it unbearable then you don't have to do anymore (at least you accomplished some). Most of the time you will realize its not as insurmountable as you thought and can go past the 30 mins.
3. \^\^\^ In addition, something is better then nothing. Doing a little bit of something and then listening to yourself and stopping is better then forcing yourself, getting overwhelmed and doing nothing.
4. Reward yourself. I know it sounds stupid but hear me out. I like expensive coffee, so, if I am having trouble getting out to class or the library I make a point to grab coffee on the way there or back.
5. Double body. Sit with a friend, get to a public space, facetime somebody, join an online study zoom. Even if you prof posts lecture notes go to lecture because then you KNOW you will take that weeks notes
|
ADHD
|
I dunno if I can put this in a way that doesn't make me sound like a total child but here we go
I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and possibly PTSD for basically my whole life and it's just absolutely rotten. most days I don't want to get out of bed, until I become so restless that I have to. I've been living with my parents for a while now. I quit my job without having anything else lined up and I can't motivate myself to keep applying. I don't eat well, I don't exercise, I'm 50 lbs overweight, I smoke, I can't even do basic things like brush my teeth or shower every day. I can't pick up on sarcasm or vocal tone or subtle social cues. I make people uncomfortable and upset. I internalize everything. I have the mind of a 7 year old
the other day I met with a psychiatrist, hoping to get put on Adderall or Ritalin or Strattera or anything, I don't care. I wound up breaking down in her office because I already take 10 pills daily (lexapro + hormones) and I hate the feeling that I need so much help to just get to a normal baseline. it's not fair that people can roll out of bed and have a routine, have motivation, have focus. meanwhile I'm popping pill after pill and going to therapy just so I can force myself to get up and get a minimum wage job
I have dreams. I have aspirations. I have things I want to do with my life. for almost a decade now I've thought about being a commercial pilot. it pays well enough that I could live comfortably on my own. I would get to distract my brain with flying, and see new places. I enrolled in a local community College that has their own flight school. I applied for--and was granted !--student aid. I went to meet the FAA medical examiner
Lexapro is one of the few SSRIs accepted by the FAA
I almost didn't make it. I still need to meet with 3 separate doctors including a neuropsychologist (who by all accounts will cost me upwards of $3k that I don't have and insurance won't pay for)
the psychiatrist didn't want to give me stimulants. she said I could do better with a mood stabilizer. I checked the FAA website. mood stabilizers are not accepted
ADHD stimulants are not accepted
i started crying again. here was a medication I was hoping would help with the problems I've been dealing with, and it turns out I need to choose between it and the one thing I've actually been able to inspire myself to pursue. it's not fair that I need all these medications to get myself to a baseline
i know there are other options out there, but if I can't be a pilot I don't know what im going to do. who knows how long it'll take me to come up with another idea I can convince myself to care about. when will I feel like i have control over my life ? when I'm 40 ? 50 ?? 80 ?? never ???
I'm going to keep trying, I will, because I know if I can pull this off it'll be the best feeling I've ever had. but good g-d do I want to give up so bad. I want to check myself into a mental home and just live out my days tied to a table with an IV in my arm. I want to join the military and hope I die in combat. it's too hard. it's too hard and too painful and I don't know what to do and I hate that I don't know what to do and I just ... don't feel like i can do this. my brain is too strong. I can't beat it. everything sucks and nothing goes right
my antidepressants haven't been working so well lately. I think it's because of my loving situation. I think all of this is because of my present circumstances. which doesn't make me feel better. it makes my distress feel inauthentic. temporary. silly. why am I worrying so much when all of this will go away when something changes ? I don't know. I don't think i have the answer to anything
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone else freeze when they come across a dangerous situation?
Examples of times I froze:
-almost getting hit by a car
-Sketchy guy approached me
-getting attacked by a dog
-many times where I should have stood up for myself
..... and unfortunately each time I was abused.
Why do I freeze and how do I move when I am afraid? I literally try to move and can't. It really scares me because I am a mother now and I can't just freeze in dangerous situations. I have to act quickly. When I am out I get approached by creepy guys often. I always come across dangerous situations it seems. I so badly want to get to the root of this. Thanks in advance 🤝
|
ptsd
|
I read recently that people on the spectrum can have tics, similar to Tourettes. Is this accurate? Do any of you have any tics that they would like to share?
I'm personally quite high functioning and don't have tics at all (that I'm aware of) but I'm interested to know if other people have them.
|
aspergers
|
I hate myself and don't know what to do. I feel powerless to stop myself and am concerned about destroying my health but have little drive to make healthy decisions. I don't know how things got worse than like 5 servings of panda express and an entire pie in one day, or an entire sleeve of oreos, or 4 muffins and a bunch of mcdonalds, but it seems like they have gotten worse, and I don't know what to do to stop myself before it's too late.
|
depression
|
Hi everyone. If you realised you had ADHD later in adulthood (especially if you're a parent who is 50+) I'd really appreciate it if you could look through this post and share your thoughts/experiences so I can possibly help my mum
Some background:
My mum very likely has ADHD and it makes her life really difficult. She struggles mostly with organisation, time-blindness, focus, and impulse control. She thinks she has ADHD and has thought so for a long time.
I'm 21 and I have OCD and possibly also ADHD or ASD (awaiting formal assessment). I've been in and out of therapy for around 5 years, and have had a decent amount of success with it. I have always been supportive of mum seeking therapy too, and potentially medication, but she really does not want to. I've accepted that I can't make her and it's not helpful to keep pushing her. So now I'm trying to think of other ways I could help her out.
Mum lives with my dad and my grandma. Mum and dad work full time in quite tiring jobs, so my grandma does most of the household tasks -- however, now she's getting older she can't do much
I'd like to preface that I'm not looking down my nose at my mum and judging her. She agrees that all of the issues discussed here are indeed issues, and her life is fairly dysfunctional right now. I really care about her and she doesn't deserve all of the stress she's under
Some of the struggles:
The house is small and a bit chaotic: my mum has many creative hobbies (part of what has made her an awesome mum) but there are dozens of boxes of various art supplies piled high on furniture and across the floors of almost every room. She also has a small online business, but her stock is mixed in with her hobby supplies and the supplies she takes into work, which makes it difficult to keep on top of things.
We have tried to designate weekends and days off to organise the house, but it ends up being too stressful. Often she and another family member will end up arguing because they think she's not trying hard enough (she is trying).
Mornings are particularly chaotic. It's hard for her to stick to her to keep track of time. Some days she'll remember at the last minute that she had to take something into work, and will have to rifle through all of her boxes until she finds it, and will cry, yell, and panic in the process.
Some evenings she'll get a sudden surge of inspiration and will be up doing crafts until 2am without realising it, and will then struggle at work later that day. She will often impulsively buy new supplies in the middle of the night, too, and then regret it -- it's a financial and organisational issue.
I'm temporarily living back at home right now, and I do as much as I can to help out: I get up pretty early so I can help her pack her bags and lunch etc., and help her calm down if she needs to. Throughout the day I do all of the cleaning, laundry, and general errands, and I do most dinners and dishes. I don't mind helping my mum, but I don't have the capacity to do it all: I do have my own job, responsibilities, and mental health issues that can get in the way. And I'm moving back out in around a month.
The other family members are aware of what ADHD is and agree that mum likely has it. It is well documented that it runs in our family. They do their best to help, but they only have so much time and capacity too, and they're a bit resentful of her unfortunately
As I mentioned earlier, mum doesn't want to bring this up to her doctor or seek therapy. She is well educated and very intelligent, so she's adamant she can self-help herself out of this. It's hard though, I've never been able to manage my own issues alone. Other people think she just needs to try harder, focus more, and "chill out" but I know it isn't that simple, as does she. But neither of us know where to go next to actually improve things
She is generally better when I'm home to help out, but as I mentioned, I can't do it all and I am not back at home for long.
I’m considering suggesting to my parents that they employ some sort of housekeeper/organiser/home help, but I’m unsure how to bring it up, and I'm not sure if it's even a good idea? I don't know anyone personally who has done this to help manage ADHD
I love my family so much, my mum has been an amazing parent to me, and I really want to support her however I can. As I mentioned, I am being assessed for ADHD and ASD myself, and OCD can cause a lot of executive dysfunction problems too -- so I empathise and want to help, I hold no judgement. If anyone's been in this situation, I'd love to hear your experiences
TL;DR: My mum very likely has ADHD, and doesn't want to see a doctor or therapist. I am taking on too much responsibility to try and help. I'm considering suggesting they get a professional organiser or housekeeper or similar, but I don't know where to start. I really want advice, especially from other people who realised they had ADHD well into adulthood and may relate to my mum's situation
|
ADHD
|
I’m making this post from a throwaway. M18, if that helps.
Why can’t my family, “friends” and gf just let me go already. I have silently dealt with depression and suicidal ideation for about 8 years now. It definitely started to come on before that though, as I can definitely see signs of it in me when I think back on it. I wasn’t open about it to anyone until I met my gf a couple years ago. Since then, I had only told a couple people who are important to me and a few people who were temporary. Recently, my mom called me during a mental breakdown. I tried to tell her not to worry about it but I wouldn’t be able to do what she was trying to ask of me. (Afterall, she was a big cause of my depression). I guess having someone catch me like that, dealing with something I’ve never been open about made me feel some type of way so I started crying. She then, hung up the phone and started calling people asking them to check on me and wondering what was wrong. This led to a wave of family members calling me, including my gf who has had anxiety built up around me committing suicide.
This is why I ask the question. I’ve suffered through depression for so long and have had suicidal thoughts since I was about 12. I’ve told certain people including my mom and they all hurt me over it in various ways, rather that be by not caring, invalidating my feelings or flat out telling me that it was my fault. I closed myself off, never spoke about it again. When I first got with my gf she wanted me to open up about it after I had an episode in front of her, so I did. After that, I’ve had so many family and friends begin to hate me over the things that my depression made me feel and the things it caused me to do. But fast forward to about 2-3 months ago and it began to become an issue to her (because I’m a fucking idiot, not because she doesn’t care). So I stopped sharing so much again. Until the situation I talked about earlier happened… because I chose to explain my struggles (admittedly, only because I was caught.) Why, if I’m such a piece of shit would all these people all of a sudden want to help me? And with my gf knowing my struggles, why can’t she see it as “putting myself out of my misery”? On top of that, it’d relieve the burden of helping me. It could be so easy if no one cared. I’m not even sure why I want to make this post, to be completely honest. I would prefer everyone forget I exist and just let me kms.
|
depression
|
I have mental images of monsters in my head I feel very sick, also morbid mental images and gore, my ocd is insane, I would like to know if someone happens to him, because I'm scared to death! :(
|
OCD
|
Hey, me (F) and my girlfriend have been together 2 years, and obviously she has ocd. I have anxiety myself, so I like to think while I’m probably not perfect I’m also not doing the whole “Just don’t think about it!!1!” unhelpful thing. We’re doing good, and I really see a good future with her. I also want to make sure that the future I’m seeing is realistic. I love animals, she is super disturbed by pet hair. The compromise is fish and/or reptiles (with a separate freezer far from her,lol). That’s like the guaranteed baseline. There’s also the possibility of a Sphinx cat. She’s been thinking of exposure therapy once her therapist gets back from the holidays. Can she manage well enough with that that maybe even a furry cat someday won’t be out the picture? Where she’ll be able to play with my hair? Pick up the stuffed animal that falls on the floor instead of exile until it’s washed? I think no matter what, I’ll stick with her. She just means too much to me to let the little stuff ruin it. I also want to know what little stuff I should expect to miss, however. Thanks in advance.
|
OCD
|
I’m 23 and i’ve been depressed for years and i have social anxiety deluxe. I am unemployed since a year and a half, and i have no idea what i’m going to do with my life. I already have quite a lot of student loan debt, but no usuable degree. I don’t have any passion about anything anymore, i only look forward to sleeping. I only want to stay alive for other people (my family) and not for myself. I don’t really care about anything and everything in the world makes me angry and even more depressed.
The highlight of the day is when i can finally take my sleeping pills and not be awake anymore.
|
depression
|
Its something that i had been going through for awhile, im still having trouble accepting myself for just being “different” that feeling tends to come and go depending on my mood. I had a bad time through middle school until my last year of high school, i was in the special ed i was 15 i guess. Because of this, i thought myself as stupid, retarded, basically incapable of doing anything, because people told me so, therefore they must be right, at the same time, i had to work my ass off just to prove those fuckers that i can do this. Thinking about my past and reflecting my true self makes me angry that i m like this. But yeah, just a rant.
|
aspergers
|
Normally, I get up for work at 4:45 am so I try to go to bed around 10 pm. As it often happens, I stayed up too late (12 am), but just figured I’d be a little tired during the day, nbd. Anyways, I woke up and thought the clock said 4:45 am, so I took my meds (including my Vyvanse), then immediately realized my alarm hadn’t actually gone off, checked the clock again, and saw it was 1:45 am! Now I can’t sleep and am totally screwed for work. 😰
|
ADHD
|
I’m wondering if there are any other queer/trans/enby people who experience obsessive doubts about really being straight or cisgender (or bi people who worry about actually being gay or straight / enbies who worry about being binary trans or cis). I know there’s a fair amount of talk about imposter syndrome, particularly among bi and non-binary people, and personally I don’t see a huge difference between that and SO/GI OCD except maybe the degree. Finally, do you think queerphobia contributes to this OCD? (I’m not calling everyone with HOCD a homophobe, I just wonder if these OCD types would exist if all identities were equally understood and accepted. For my part, a lot of my doubts sound like biphobic/enbyphobic things I’ve heard like “what if I’m just making it up for attention/trying to be special” or “but I’ve never dated anyone of X gender long-term.” I’m sorry if this triggers any “HOCD” sufferers, I’m really just looking to hear from LGBT+ people, or people who are as certain as they can be that they’re LGBT+)
|
OCD
|
I work retail and have ADHD (inattentive) and OCPD (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder) and I'm nearly always defensive whenever anyone comes in the store.
Part of it is my OCPD which dictates how everyone else "should" behave and when they should ask for help and how they should do it.
But when I'm able to be present and not worry about how everything "should" be done, I love it. I am helpful, gracious and kind.
Does anyone else have a hard time with being overly prickly and controlling?
|
ADHD
|
Hey yall, I'm having a rough time. My abuser beat me to the point of having a miscarriage 12 years ago. I was 14 at the time (he was just a bit older than me). From time to time, period cramps are kind of triggering as it reminds me of miscarrying. I just remember sitting in a field, alone (I'm from a rural area) and burying my jeans because the bleeding ruined them and putting on my gym shorts. The act of digging a shallow hole, alone, knowing that I was the only person who would grieve what happened still fills me with shame. Yesterday was the worst bout of cramps I've ever had. I was throwing up, having the chills, and in extraordinary pain. I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, maybe just to vent? Either way, I will take whatever yall give me. I'm just feeling not okay rn.
|
ptsd
|
This is a rant but there is no rant filter
I love reading and i love books and i love English and i love literature
But i struggle so much
Because i either cannot focus on the book or sitting at the angle reading requires makes me anxious/upset or my eyes stop working or i forget English
I want to read so bad but adhd makes it nearly impossible
I literally do not know what to do about it and there’s nothing i can even do to unwind except get excited to read and then not be able to
|
ADHD
|
Does this ever annoy anyone else. You're going about your day, enjoying yourself and life, you go to sign in and boom CAPTCHA. Then you're like, "oh sure why not it's for security purposes". Only to remember that some sadomasochist designed the program so when it says "Click all the pictures containing bikes", you then must scrutinize every photo. Oh wait, is this bike tire in someones garden around a plant count or is this shred of metal that resembles anything part of a bike. You click away, then nope, you missed one, do it again but with buses now. There's always a bus in the far corner of a photo and it feels like I'm playing Where's Waldo with these damn things.
Then when you get it all right: "oops, we are having a technical error, try again." Like hell I'd have an easier time returning something to Gamestop than this.
|
aspergers
|
This week, I’m at a family friend’s lakehouse with their entire family. Ive known them my whole life, and they’ve known me my whole life. However, theyre just like everyone else I know. Most of them hardly ever talk to me or do stuff with me, and they make me wonder if I really matter to them. I know I’m not a real part of their family, but I’m real close to all of them. Im just a day in and part of me just wants to ask my parents if we can leave. Ive spent my entire life trying to bond with people knowing Ill fail, and i feel excluded just about every day I’m around anyone. It hurts a little harder this time tho bc of how long Ive known these ppl. I love vacation, but at this point I feel like I just need to take care of myself. I cant live like this much longer. Rant over.
|
aspergers
|
15yo M diagnosed on 100mg of Zoloft.
I have a piss / diaper fetish mostly allocated towards females. When I was 13-14 I would sometimes masturbate to the idea of being a much younger female (iirc) urinating in one. I just thought it’s my fetish at the time but now I’m deeply concerned… can you guys just tell me it’s gonna be alright and that this is nothing but POCD?
I may have been mistaking it for just a regular gender swap / age play fantasy where I probably feel like I pictured myself too young for a bit. But I’m very concerned.
I almost don’t want to live
|
OCD
|
I don't want to lose my sense of hearing, or god forbid get tinnitus. I have a bad habit of using really loud music to stimulate and focus and I just want a better way to go about it. What helps you stim?
I'm decently confident some cures for some hearing loss conditions will be resolved in my lifetime. But I don't know for certain and I don't want to risk it.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been depressed for a long time- prolly over 20 years but these past 6-7 months I’ve gone through even more heck. I’ve had SI since July and I also have crippling anxiety. I’ve been in therapy for months now and I have so many coping skills I didn’t have before . Therapist thinks I’ve made so much progress even friends but I’m just feeling overwhelmed and exhausted .
I’ve had a chronic headache since about July which means I’ve had a headache every day since then. Sometimes it’s to a degree I can manage and other times I have to just cry. Pain medicine only takes the top off of the pain. My neurologist appointments all have been pushed aside due to other health problems I’ve had- had to have emergency gallbladder surgery - so no scans have been done of my head though I think it if we’re something serious I’d have died by now. And part of me really just wants to. My 10+ years of bloat after meals is gone now but it doesn’t matter.
I live in an environment where it’s a bit toxic, I have no where really to go and I feel trapped. I have friends who care, but they are distant. Or they turn the conversation to their own problems. That’s ok I guess. I am on a very low dose of Zoloft I could go up but I don’t even know. Meds don’t fix a living situation- and a toxic parent. I’ve tried so many things (meditation journal energy medicine walking distraction CBT , DARE) and it’s just what’s the point?
I also have PMDD which drags me into a special hell every month that I can’t even cbt at all and the meds I’m on for things like that doesn’t work either.
I have no partner nor job, I wanted to play EW but this headache spiked and so I can barely play that. I have horrible sleeping anxiety and then as my headache spikes my tinnitus acts up as well. Tinnitus has been spiking due to my stress levels I know. I’ve been sleeping poorly again .
When I do have motivation it’s just so fleeting and I’m struggling to eat. I feel like I’m dying on the inside and I cry every day.
I have talents and things I could do but I just feel like I’m walking in mud.
I’m exhausted to live
I’m exhausted to just be here
I know I don’t want to truly go but I am tired of this mental and physical pain-
I want my old life back and my old self
I am just too tired .
Then anxiety kicks in and does the rest.
I feel like that song “Bring me to Life” . Yes I’m 38, and I never thought I’d live to 18.
I don’t even know why I post this- but so it goes. Screaming into the void- yet another coping mechanism that isn’t working.
I don’t expect any advice I guess I just wanted my story to be heard- in case I finally just put my mind to ending this torture..
|
depression
|
Hi, so I feel like I’m the only human like this, I know I’m not as the odds are not as high as it may feel. I haven’t met someone who feels this way or find any literature on this.
When I eat, I have to not think about any other food other than what I’m eating. I can’t eat pizza and watch a burger advert, or have people discuss their food that they’re eating if it’s different to mine. I cannot watch a baking or cooking show while eating. It’s super annoying and will make me stop eating. You’ll be surprised how many food commercials come on during dinner time, or how many people talk about food while eating… does anyone have any links on this and any recommendations how to get over this, if possible? I feel like it’s gotten worse lately too. 😮💨
|
OCD
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.