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I happen to have a severe case of ADHD and at the same time a severe case of “I’m shit at art syndrome” :). I’m just wondering if these 2 are related since people with ADHD don’t pay attention to details… Does this happen to anyone else?? I keep getting lectured by my teacher that I need to put in more effort and slow down, when I literally have no imagination, or pay the closest attention to details…
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ADHD
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I have been completely numb for the past 9 months. I just don't feel anything. No appetite, nothing gives me joy and I'm afraid that it will be like this always. I am on medication and they do not help at all.
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depression
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I just turned 30, I live with my parents cause they can't afford to pay the house by themselves as my mom doesn't work and they are both illegal immigrants from Mexico.
But I just can't seem to hold a conversation with women, I can't do casual sex, I have too much anxiety to go out. I was able to when I drank alcohol but it was destroying my life.
I've let my self go since covid started and just don't see the point to stay in shape.
I feel like I'm gonna be stuck like this forever.
I haven't seen my friends in months, just because I can't take waiting for a table in these crowded hip places.
This condition is so hard to live with, the older I got the more irrelevant my band became, I can't form connections with the promoters so we never get gigs anymore, 1. Because our music is weird and 2. Because we're all akward and quiet, we're all on the spectrum.
I just feel alone, like no one understands my situation.
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aspergers
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Going on a bit of a Rant here.
I'm 23M, had a traumatic past and I have ADHD. I feel like when I open up to people they often try to one up me with their problems or try to give me a ridiculous solution when all I want is understanding. I find this especially with the case of talking about my ADHD.
On example is I was talking to my friend about it and he said "Well I mean I could have ADHD too, I hate math." And I'm like yeah well its more than that, its feeling like I'm separate from reality and having a tug of war with feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed. Life just feels like a chore all the time. I opened up to someone about my anxiety, and he said " yeah I mean I get anxiety too sometimes." I understand that everyone gets anxiety but I can see people functioning better than me I am not stupid. This just makes me want to keep my mouth shut cause I feel like I'm being dismissed as a coward who just can't handle it as much.
Or they will try to give me a tip and imply that I just haven't been trying certain things. Like "I mean what helps me is going over my test twice, that way you will avoid mistakes." Like yeah but the problem is I really don't wanna look at all that shit again, it was a battle getting through it the first time. Whenever I look at the test I get overwhelmed and all my memories fly out the window. They look at me like we have the same problem but I am just going at it differently.
I've tried making certain habits work for a long time and it usually doesn't stick. Like people act like I've never tried writing stuff down, I have tried so many times but I think my brain is just not built for it, I find repetitive routines super mundane and eventually I just gotta stop doing it. But the thing is that is okay, I'm not asking people for solutions, I'm already working on it. I just want understanding, am I asking for too much?
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ADHD
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As of recently, like the last 6 months or so, I’ve been feeling more and more depressed. My work life is just getting through the motions when I chose this career path strictly because of my joy for this workplace ( I’m a teacher) but the overwhelming amount of planning is really draining. When I’m able to plan ahead I usually am working on getting HW done for grad classes. My social life is not exactly flourishing either… my best friends since middle school have begun distancing themselves from me a little more each month leaving me sitting at home most weekends. When I do go out it feels like nobody hears a word out of my mouth.
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depression
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I had a few dreams that aren’t flashbacks of traumatic events. However, they seem like random stories or scenario that is irrelevant to my trauma. However, they still induce stress and anxiety for me. For example, I dreamt that an old man from a village used a mallet to hit people’s heads with it. It made me distressed as I worry their skulls might crack open. Another one was I was hiding from something or someone (which I can’t remember now) but it made me anxious. Whilst in these dream states, I would always seem to wake up sporadically after 4am.
I feel especially exhausted and irritable on days like this. I also become paranoid and would make things difficult for my boyfriend and my relationship.
Does it happen for any of you?
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ptsd
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i have been on vyvanse since april 2021 and i slowly went up from 10 to 30 mg’s (30 mg’s started around June) because i felt like the lower dose was not as effective for me. I’ve always had a hard time getting up/hearing my alarms/getting to sleep on time since i was a child but in August, i started sleeping through 10-20 alarms and would stay up for days at a time, i also slept like a dead person. I talked to my doctor and she said i was probably just adjusting still. But It continued and i have at least 3-5 nights a month where i don’t sleep at all - not all in a row but sometimes 2 days at a time. Because I work full time and the anxiety of falling asleep to potentially sleep through work is very exhausting, I tend to get into bed around 10 pm but can’t even begin to think of falling asleep until 2-3 am, but even by then i’m not even tired. I take my medication before 11 each day and still have terrible terrible sleep patterns.
On the other hand, I have found taking my medication before I go to sleep (around 3-5 am usually lol) actually helps relax me and helps me with the anxiety of not waking up. I wake up on the first alarm and jump out of bed ready to start my day, but obviously with minimal sleep (around 4-6 hrs), that “euphoric” morning feeling is very short lived and by 3 pm i’m exhausted and feel like i’m ready for bed.
I took my medication at 5:30 am last night , crashed early and got into bed at 9 but now i’m not even tired and it’s nearly 4;30 am again.
Not sure if i’m looking for advice or hoping someone relates but it’s extremely exhausting that even the medication that is supposed to improve my lifestyle is actually just making it worse?
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ADHD
|
I know this is a bit long I’m sorry I’m just very anxious right now.
So today I went to a guy friends house (he’s my age, a few months older) and I was honestly just expecting to play video games and shit and just didn’t rlly think anything of it, but then he began getting more touchy and stuff which I sort of just brushed off, but then I knew he was maki moves because eventually his arm was around me and like around my waist and shit and whenever someone came downstairs he would like immediately move away and pretend like nothing was happening. And at first honestly I wasn’t rlly against it I mean it felt nice tbh. He was a guy my age after all, we’re both 15 but he’s older. So I was into it.
He is autistic but high functioning. (Not sure if it’s aspergers, but some sort of high functioning autism, on the milder side.) I didn’t even know he was autistic, but I did suspect he was a bit different in some way, until I heard it from a teacher. As well as some adhd which makes it hard for him to pay attention in class and he gets in trouble a lot. But other than that he’s a pretty normal teenager.
And as far as I know there’s no problem with dating someone autistic as long as they can consent of course. I mean as someone who’s neurodivergent myself (not autistic tho) like my brain works differently but I have the same intelligence and ability to consent as everyone else my age.
Here’s the thing. After that whole that whole thing happened (it didn’t go any farther than that btw) I remembered a time like a few years ago where he said he was mentally 7, or had the maturity of a 7 year old. Now this guy does make jokes and stuff so he could’ve been joking but I’m scared like what if this was an official thing his doctor told him or something? Was I into being touched by a guy who apparently is mentally 7? i mean he’s physically 15. Taller than me and past puberty with a deep voice.
It makes me confused because he literally
acts and thinks like any other teenager. He likes gaming, memes, anime etc., makes sex and “that’s what she said” jokes all the time lmao. He’s hella intelligent IQ wise, he just does bad at school cuz he doesn’t try. I mean he was making moves on me and a 7 year old wouldn’t do what he was doing. Like he doesn’t act like a 7 year old at all. He acts alike any other teenager and in fact his intelligence is higher than most our age.
Now I’ve been freaking out that I could’ve taken advantage of him??? But then I calm down because I remember I made none of the moves, he was the one making all the moves and I told him to stop a bunch and he ended up sneaking back each time. It’s not that I didn’t like it, I just didn’t want his mom to walk in on us. It would be awkward. So that helps me feel better. But I find myself thinking back on what he was doing and liking it a lot. But is this ok? Am I allowed to like it or would i be taking advantage of him?
I have diagnosed ocd, pure o specifically. I worry about being a bad person in some way or hurting people. my pure o slips into every area of my life and it’s exausting. But I just need to know, is it ok to like him? When we did that I had no idea about the mentally/maturity level of a 7 year old thing. I didn’t remember until after the fact. He was just a guy my age who was generally attractive and I liked his personality. So when he made moves on me I did like it. Is this ok? I feel really scared I could be a pedo or taking advantage of him??? I still don’t know if he was joking when he said that a few years ago. Idk if this is ok.
I’m not at all trying to be condescending to autistic people I know you guys are just as smart if not smarter as anyone else, I’m more scared of how that one time a few years ago he said something about having the maturity/ or being mentally 7. It’s confusing because he doesn’t act 7 at all. He acts like any other teen.
I felt hearing from other people with autism might help me figure out if this is ok or not? Any advice is appreciated.
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aspergers
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I know I can’t worry about it if I can’t exactly control it but does it make me a bad person?
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aspergers
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I cannot poop until they've left and I bleached it all down. If I think they've pooped it takes me over a week of cleaning before I can
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OCD
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**warning:** This post is very triggering. I know what it's like to have OCD and just reading something can make people do "rituals" and try to ease their intrusive thoughts. main triggers in this post: blasphemy, satan, suicide, self harm.
It's a *very* long story and I won't go into detail. But basically I had OCD since I was in 1st grade. My OCD revolved around religion (my ocd is specifically named "scrupulosity"). When I was 9 years old my dad tried to kill my mom right in front of me. Ever since then, my OCD exacerbated. I became super-christian because I always lived in fear at home and loneliness at school. I loved god very much but it resulted into something very toxic. I would pray for hours. I would say the same word(s) over and over. For example, if I mispronounced any word in prayer like "amen" I would have to start all over again. My OCD became a learning disability at school and I would always re-read and re-write things. I was afraid of writing the number 6 and I had to make sure all my "t"s look like crosses.
My OCD eventually made me self harm. If I ever committed a sin or had a bad intrusive thought, I would hurt myself. I would make the shower hot, scratch myself, lick the walls etc. One time I couldn't bring myself to cut my own skin, so I asked my sister to do it for me...I was only 12 by the way.
My OCD was becoming too much. I revoked my faith as a christian. Because I didn't know I had OCD, I believed that religion was evil. I decided to act upon every intrusive thought that crossed my mind. If I had intrusive thought, like ripping the bible, I would do it. I didn't know my intrusive thoughts weren't my own. I gave my life to satan when I turned 13. I wanted liberate myself from my religion, when really I just wanted to be free from my disorder.
When I revoked my faith, my intrusive thoughts disappeared. It turns out all this time I was actually a gifted student. I got A's in school and awards. However, I eventually became depressed and suicidal when I turned 14. After suicide attempts and no sleep, I gave myself brain damage and now I'm very forgetful. I'm no longer gifted.
by the way this post isn't meant to say "religion is evil". It's not. The worst thing about OCD is that it ruins the people and things you care about the most. OCD doesn't allow you to live normally. My story shows how damaging it is to person who doesn't know they are suffering from OCD. I believed I was the worst person on the planet when it was just my OCD ruining my life. This is why people should stop using OCD as an adjective. Saying "I'm so OCD" is like saying "I'm so cancer".
I also wish OCD was more taught in schools. All of the problems I have today could've been easily prevented if everyone was just taught what OCD *actually* is.
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OCD
|
I have clinical depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I am on medication in order to treat those things. Before I got on medication, my life was hell. Impulsivity, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts and ideations constantly, homelessness, treatment, etc. I dropped out of college and went to live with my parents. I thought I would kill myself before I made it out my parents house, but I found a loving partner and we have built a great life together. Moved to a different city, have a solid community of friends. But the depression I have been running from since adolescence is still there. Sometimes I forget that I am depressed, and I have a completely normal day. I wake up and feel good about the possibilities for that day, I go about my day relatively pleasantly, I come home and enjoy my partner. Other days, I wake up and feel like I am not a part of this world. Or I wish that I wasn’t a part of this world.
I don’t equate this with having suicidal thoughts or ideations because it’s just a different perspective. Is it the healthiest thing? Definitely not. I would talk to somebody about this if I could afford therapy. Basically, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of dying since I was 13. That is also when my depression really started to develop. My mom said she new I was bipolar at that age because I would go into days long modes where I wouldn’t leave the room or talk to anyone. It was at that time that I realized that maybe dead people have it easier. I was a lonely child even though I had a sibling. He had developmental needs that took up a significant amount of my parents time and attention and I was very different than the majority of children at school. I first began to think of death as an opportunity to explore. Worst case scenario it would be worse than life. I still feel that way. I have, again, somebody who loves me unconditionally and somebody who I feel the exact same way about. My family has been generally supportive for the last few years. I know I have people who care about me. But every single day I want to die. I do not like work. I do not like the fact that no matter how much or how hard I work I can’t seem to escape the clutches of poverty.
I don’t like the fact that to make more money I allegedly need to return to school to incur more debt while at the same time working to feed myself and my family. I don’t see a career path in my current field: (I do, but i would hate myself). My body is falling apart due to injuries sustained as a child. The mental and emotional anguish that I’m in is near constant. Everything hurts all the time. The future looks more bleak than the present. I’ll simply get older. My body will feel worse. My job will become more monotonous. My problems will probably remain the same. But I can’t die. That would be the most selfish thing to do. At the same time, if somebody else did it for me I wouldn’t be mad. I’ve had dreams about being robbed and I told the man to actually just do it. I don’t know anything other than the pain that I am always in isn’t subsiding no matter what I do, and that the weight of life will not lessen no matter how long I wait.
My partner is extremely supportive and helpful, but they have their own issues with mental illness to the point where I cannot simply rely on them to help bear the weight of my pain. I’ve been to many different therapists since early adolescence and none of them have helped. I’ve been to inpatient treatment and had the worst experience of my life, and at this stage I cannot afford more therapy that I know will probably leave me in the same place. It’s just too much. I hope that I don’t actually kill myself, I can’t leave my partner. But if the world ended today it would be the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Posting this here because I don’t want to post it anywhere else and I have to get it off.
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depression
|
whenever i’m getting over an obsession, my brain just goes “well what if it’s true?...” and it gives me so much anxiety. even if i know it’s not true.
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OCD
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My parents get angry at me for believing OCD and say it's a choice. I feel like I have two brains: one that tries to be rational and say it's a super small chance and there's no way, and then the OCD that latches onto the small chance this bad thing did happen and I can't turn that fucking bitch off. It keeps nagging at me for hours on end and gives me anxiety to the point where I barely sleep nowadays. Is this a choice? Do I do this to myself? I don't see why I would as I hate this with everything I have, but I'm doubting literally everything. I feel guilty for believing it, though I believe it and I also don't and it's weird and I feel like no one normal can relate. When I try to explain to my parents they say I'll never get better if I keep believing in fairy tales and it's not like I want to worry about all this paranoid stuff, I wish it was gone with my entire being, more than anything. I feel awful when they say it, as if I actively choose these thoughts that horrible thing X or Y is true when I don't think I do... I just feel guilty for existing at this point. I don't know anymore. I just feel terrible. I don't know what to do anymore and I honestly feel extremely depressed and worthless.
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OCD
|
I do believe that I’m lucky Enough to have ocd only mildly but I think it’s gwtting worse. What do I do to stop myself developing more obsessions and making old ones worse?
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OCD
|
Since I was in my late teenage years I've had an obsessive and uncomfortable rumination about aging and getting older. I'm now 25 years old and it's only gotten worse. I'm constantly checking my hair for greys (none so far) worrying about if my hair is thinning, checking my face for wrinkles etc. Ironically I've been told I look really young for my age but still this fear consumes me. Anyone else similar and can share their experiences?
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OCD
|
I was told about spirituality and reoccurring numbers by friends and tiktokers. They kinda tell people to think positively or their low vibrations will attract bad things. So ever since this was brought up I started to see them more especially when having anxiety. I feel like I am loosing it and it stresses me out.
I unfortunately have issues with spiritual thinking and superstitions, and harm ocd. So now everytime I see these signs that these people have mentioned. My mind now associates them with my disturbing intrusive thoughts and its been a vicious cycle. I am seeking therapy but I am not really getting any responses. Most everyone is booked. Has anyone else had these issues?
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OCD
|
I always find myself going on my phone for hours before going to bed. I also end up eating, watching Netflix, etc., so even if I stop working at 11PM, the time will fly by and I'll always be in bed at 4AM. I'd really like to fix this if I can, since I genuinely do love being up early in the morning. I need an evening routine that helps me satisfy the craving for stimulation I get around bedtime.
I keep my phone on the other side of my room charging at night but it doesn't really work in getting me to bed early. Right now I take melatonin and helps in getting me to sleep, but a) it's really easy to ignore being sleepy lol, and b) I often just forget about taking it until, like... 2AM.
What's your evening routine to settle down and calm your mind so you don't need stimulation, if you have such a routine and manage to get to bed early?
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ADHD
|
I cannot get therapy or ERP, please don’t ask why as i’ve explained many times. What can I do to help myself then? Also, how do you get over the guilt? I myself struggle with POCD and struggle almost everyday at this point. Even on days when I feel okay, I still can’t move on because of the guilt and shame. How are we really so different from pedos? Have sexual thoughts about kids? That’s disgusting and it’s hard for me to remain confident in myself when I remember this and all the other shit OCD has caused for me. Arent these just the same thoughts pedos have? I try and remind myself it’s the OCD, but then I spiral because I do not have a diagnosis.
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OCD
|
My partner is doing the heavy lifting, when it comes to household chores in our home. I try to help, but I l’m not consistent and often she does the things I should have done.
I’m having a REALLY hard time managing the chores in my head. When to do what, in what order, allocating the time during the day to do something. I don’t have a problem in doing the chores themselves, but I’m terrible at organizing the tasks. It’s like everything is a jumble in my head and I’m unable to start.
Also I don’t notice messes or things that need to put away. It’s like I need to have a written rule:
1) If at 9 o’clock in the evening there are items on kitchen counter - put them away.
2) Check if there is dust on the shelf - if yes, get a cloth and wipe it clean.
Does anybody know a good system, excel spreadsheet or anything, that would help me to be a better partner to my girlfriend?
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ADHD
|
I wish I was able to move away from home without people worrying or caring. That I could just get drunk or high or something all the time and just self-destruct somewhere I won't hurt anyone or ruin anything. Had enough of being conscious. The constant frustration and doldrums have worn me down to nothing. Don't want to be awake anymore.
Sorry, I'm just moaning as usual, sorry if it's not relevant enough or just annoying, I'll delete it if so
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depression
|
I really do get the NHS is stretched but it’s such a shame that the process for getting assessed and treated in this country is so convoluted. Even after a consultant psychiatrist that does both NHS & private work carried out an assessment over multiple sessions that led to a diagnosis, my GP was straight in there with the road blocks when it came time to prescribing medication. I’ve ended up having to get it prescribed privately and it costs a lot to do so.
What I will say is if you’re in a position to go private, I would highly recommend it. Find a GMC registered psychiatry consultant that specialises in ADHD. Truth is even I was on the fence about how real ADHD was but after a year on medication, I’m 100% convinced it is an actual disease. I was unwell for for the as long as I can remember, started treatment (vyvanse 60mg) and now I’m getting better. It’s not a case that I can now learn a new language in a day or whatever other nonsense Limitless led me to believe, it’s just allowed me to bring better balance to my life. It’s amazing what you can achieve when you’re no longer sleeping 12+ hours every day. And it’s easy to get to work early if you don’t keep hitting snooze on you’re alarm. I also haven’t gone to bed praying I die in my sleep for absolutely ages.
My brain wasn’t working properly and I didn’t even realise it. I didn’t get how everyone could seem to focus on one thing and not have to be on their phone, iPad and laptop whilst watching TV. Or recreational drugs (I’ll leave that at that).
Be sure to take your assessment seriously and don’t try to BS as your psychiatrist as they’ll see right through it. Don’t just turn up on the day either, I’d suggest preparing beforehand. I wrote down all the reasons why I thought I had ADHD as well as why I felt I might not. My partner also had to fill out a questionnaire - I got her to do it when I was out and she mailed it to the clinic herself. I was completely open with my psychiatrist (including things I never thought I’d share) and when I read his report, I could tell he actually understood me. Definitely worth it for me.
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ADHD
|
It’s like I have a finite amount of focus juice for the week and I borrowed some from the next day in order to be really productive one day. And then the next day, inexplicably, I can’t focus at all. And I keep asking myself like wait where did my productivity go I did so well yesterday. I got so much done. I thought I’d permanently turned over a new leaf and this was gonna be me from now on. Productive.
Instead I’ve been on Reddit for like four hours instead of doing work. Because I was super productive and had my shit together yesterday.
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ADHD
|
Just curious if it's a stim or something else? Is the motivation behind it what defines a stim? I was doing this during a tense appointment I had and spontaneously noticed after I must've been doing it a while.
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aspergers
|
If anyone has questions or wants to be Discord friends (looking for people to text occasionally)
No academic classes, only life skills like social skills, cooking, apartment management, etc
I am on a sensory beanbag in a quiet room. It's gonna be my routine to be in this room once a day to decompress
They teach us how to grocery shop, cook, etc
Like 8 girls, 13 boys, I only have one roommate in a 4 person apartment. We get along. I need motivation to go to the social events.
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aspergers
|
[https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/understanding-pure-o-you-are-not-having-intrusive-thoughts-all-day-you-are-ruminating/](https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/understanding-pure-o-you-are-not-having-intrusive-thoughts-all-day-you-are-ruminating/)
"The truth is that the vast majority of what people call intrusive thoughts — almost all of them — are actually being thought or imagined *on purpose,* in an effort to prevent something bad from happening.
Here’s an example of how this typically plays out in someone with OCD:
A person sees a knife near someone they love, and it occurs to them that they could stab that person with the knife. This terrifies the person: What if they really did stab them?
So what does this person do? They try to figure out if they would actually do it. In order to figure this out, they *purposely* imagine stabbing their loved one in order to gauge their emotional response. And when they aren’t 100% sure what their response was, they imagine it again. Then they might imagine doing it another way, or start thinking about other violent ideas to gauge their response to those.
At this point they are repeatedly imagining stabbing someone, not even realizing that they’re doing it on purpose. This person will say that they are experiencing intrusive thoughts all day. They don’t realize that the majority of these intrusive thoughts are actually thought experiments that they are constantly running in their mind. In other words, this isn’t automatic thinking that they can’t control; it’s analytical thinking that they are directing towards figuring out if they might actually stab someone.
The initial moment when it occurs to the person that they could stab their loved one is the actual intrusive thought, or ‘obsession.’ How long does it last? A millisecond. It’s instantaneous. Everything that follows that flash of fear is compulsive mental checking, also known as compulsive rumination."
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OCD
|
Growing up was tough, and I remember as I grew up I took my anger out on animals don’t know why I did I was trouble extremely violent I did things to my dogs I’m not proud of growing up and it’s no excuse at times it made me feel
Suicidal cause I was so angry and dealing with everything all at once issue after issues but it’s no excuse it’s been months now since I’ve gotten a lot better I don’t hit I more rap if they misbehave or I hold him down by the color, I almost had a slip up cause I’m just dealing with life issues again. Put my hand on my dog throat because he wounding stop barking cause he will wake up my parents. But I always went to hard I felt it and I stoped my self making sure my dog wounding be in pain hell him down by the color to tell him to stop misbehaving I’m happy I didn’t hit I fucked up and it’s no excuse . Getting better each day . But I just wanted to vent. Anyone got tips for anger would be appreciated
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depression
|
About two years ago I was raped twice. It was hard for me to even call it rape for a long time because it wasn't violent. Afterwards I threw myself into work and drinking to numb the pain, after I was raped the second time, I ended up going to a rape counseling center and speaking to a counselor there for a few months. It was very helpful, but I only went sporadically and then stopped altogether, in hindsight I was naive in thinking that a few sessions cured my trauma. Over the last year I feel like I've regressed in many ways, I get nightmares frequently, flashbacks almost daily, intrusive thoughts about being raped, specifically the night of the rapes a lot- I try not to think about it, but it's like my brain can't help itself. Even though I haven't seen or heard from either of my rapists in a long time I get anxiety that they'll contact me again or that I'll see them. I get startled so easily now too, it happens almost constantly at work when I don't see someone approaching me, even though I have no reason not to feel safe there.
I know this is something a professional has to diagnose, but finding therapy during covid has been difficult. Sometimes I feel like I don't have any right to think I have PTSD, especially because I know how debilitating it can be for people, and what happened to me isn't as terrible, but I'm not sure what else to call this.
Hopefully this made some sense.
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ptsd
|
...to want a relationship. I know I'm supposed to want one, but I simply could not care less. I just don't have the energy. If anything, it would be a burden for me to have to meet the needs of someone else *on top* of my own (and the other person would be left unfulfilled, not knowing what to do for me, since almost nothing makes me happy).
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depression
|
i don’t do anything my depression makes it hard for me to even get up but when i am doing things i’m exhausted 24/7 no matter what. i feel like such a lazy and useless person being 17 and not being able to do anything because of my depression and anxiety
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depression
|
Hey guys,
I'm diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. My ADHD is very severe. Because of my ADHD, I have a lot of trouble with Executive Dysfunction. No matter how much I wanna do something, sometimes I really can't do it.
Combine that with being on the spectrum. Everytime I try to brush my teeth I have a sensory overload. Never a full on meltdown, but I usually cry. It just feels so terrible. I can't stand how the bristles feel on my teeth and gums.
I've tried countless kinds of toothbrushes, and nothing has helped. I haven't brushed my teeth in a month, I've just been flossing everyday. I'm so ashamed of my teeth, but I can't make myself do it.
If anyone else here has struggled with similar issues and have found solutions, I would love to hear them. I'm desperate. Thank you!
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aspergers
|
Happy halloween everyone! I wanted to share this story because it just happened 3 hours ago and it still puzzles me as to how i managed to pull it off.
My mom went shopping today and brought cereal because we were all out, so in the evening i decided i was hungry and went about making a bowl.
I opened the fridge, got an almost empty carton of milk, put it on the table and went to grab the cereal from atop the shelf. I then forgot mid-thought which cereal i wanted to eat, so i just grabbed the next best pack and put it on the table as well. I then realized i probably needed more milk than was in that carton so i grabbed a new one, put it down in the kitchen of all places because lord knows why, and then walked to the table where the rest of the stuff sat, empty handed. I then went back into the kitchen to grab a bowl from the cupboard, and brought the milk back to the table with me, but didn‘t put it down. I then went back into the kitchen *with the new carton of milk still in my hand* and opened a drawer to grab a spoon. Instinctively grabbed a knife instead of a spoon and brought it and the milk back to the table with me.
I‘m sick of the mushy wad of useless tissue inside my head not working the was it is supposed to. Like, i‘m actually at the point where it enrages me. If i‘m not living proof that there is no merciful god then i don‘t know what is.
And the worst part is, i don‘t know what to do about it myself! I tried the approach of planning every tiny step beforehand, only to forget the entire plan seconds after making it. Ritalin worked for me back in school but gave me depression, and i‘m at my wits‘ end.
Ans advice? This kind of behavior is going to ruin my chances of being good at any job, social interaction or living in general.
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ADHD
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I (25F) lost my dream job and my long term relationship of for 4 due to an affair when covid strike back in 2019. Then I started a relationship with someone 16 years older than me who was very narcissistic. It didn’t last long but it was very damaging. I met afterwards my today bf, he was a school friend. I started university and quickly realized that it was not necessarily what I expected and decided to put my efforts somewhere else. Then , I tried to start my own company (photography) and got played and lost lots of money creating a lot of tension in my already not so happy relationship. I dropped school and started working on night shift on a factory packing food, to help pay the bills of my boyfriend. I got pregnant and had an abortion. I change jobs and started working as barista in a local store. I was doing 40h+ , but my relationship got physically abusive. Summer comes by , I’m overwhelmed and overworked. Police got involved and lawyers as well , after an physical incident got out of hand and 911 needed to be called for my safety. I went back to my achoholic dad place , and less than a week I broke the no contact policy we had because after all that was my appartement. Lots of verbal abuse, trying to convincing me that I was the abuser and not the victim, videotaping me while having major meltdowns and monotorizing the calls with the police. Afterwards, he pressured me into becaming friends again with his friends even tho I was not comfortable and made it clear. Today I am a film teacher in highschool and elementary, but I am very very drained and don’t know where to start , I just feel that I’m going to sabotage the only good thing I have and that’s my job. I took this two last weeks off because I’m so unable to leave my house , let alone teach. I’m loaded on student loans
TLTR: I would really appreciate some insight, perspective and constructive feedback, thank you kind redditors
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depression
|
I've been waiting about a year and a half for an adult autism assessment and diagnosis appointment. I finally got the call last week that I had reached the top of the waiting list and I couldn't have been more excited. They said that the first part of the assessment was with a psychiatrist, they would speak to a relative who knew me as a child, and (when face-to-face appointments resume) they'll do the ADOS assessment.
Well I had the psychiatrist interview today and I feel like it couldn't have been worse.
They provided the weblink only minutes before the appointment time and I was super anxious because of worrying I would miss it, so I babbled like crazy in the appointment because he asked why I had been referred and I was trying to explain why I felt that I needed it and couldn't form sentences properly. The psychiatrist seemed totally uninterested in the whole thing and cut me off several times during the interview, rarely asking me to expand on any points. He seemed to ask me more questions relating to OCD than autism which was frustrating, and he ignored me and cut me off when talking about my family history of autism because he said it "was a guess" because it's undiagnosed.
He also said my previous assessment scores (I have very high visual-spacial skills scores identified during dyslexia/dyspraxia assessments) were "irrelevant" because of my anxiety (not sure how that makes sense?) and he also said that those scores are also found in schizophrenia (again, helpful?).
He seemed to mostly just take my work and education history during the call. It seemed like he asked very little about other things.
The appointment was supposed to last between 1 hour and 1 hour 30 minutes. He finished the call at 45 minutes.
I feel absolutely devastated by this. I've been waiting so long for this appointment and for this assessment process to start. To be just disregarded and tossed aside, it's really thrown me.
Has anyone else had a difficult experience during their initial assessment interview? How did you move past it?
TL;DR: I had an autism assessment interview with a psychiatrist today. He was dismissive and uninterested and I'm devastated.
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aspergers
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Has anyone here had experience with the OCD theme of cuckoldry or anything like that? Please do comment if you have, and please say how you got over it. I've had mine for over 4 months and I want it to stop.
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OCD
|
I’ve been waiting seven months for my referral to Psychiatry UK for an adult ADHD assessment. I scored 14/18 on the self assessment referral and my GP is in agreement that it’s something I need to look into. History of depression, anxiety, disorganised life, hyper fixations, mini-obsessions, difficulty following conversation, detrimental daydreamer, fidget, pen clicker. It’s all pointing that way.
Last week I had contact from Psychiatry UK to say I could progress to the next stage. They needed a little more information on me and the traits that make me feel that ADHD is part of my personality.
Well, I begin with gusto. Open my email and click on the link. I’ve set up my portal login. I have three, no four, new messages. Oh boy, this has been so long awaited. I open link one. It is 1/3 more detailed questions about experiences in my life- my whole 38 years- where I feel I struggled with organisation/attention/any of the other multitude of adhd traits we all display. Each question was easy to answer but they want EXAMPLES. Now I’ve got to organise my thoughts and find time to focus on the task which means making sure all the other tasks are done which is impossible because I’m a single mum who works full time.
So I freak a little. This is an unexpectedly big task. I’ve got to think of examples from my Whole Life. I’ve been grappling with the idea that I might have ADHD for only about 1year. I am NOT set up to tackle this kind of exam about myself! So now I’m confused, overwhelmed, guilt ridden because I’m not doing this assessment that I’ve wanted for so long. I’m PROCRASTINATING. I haven’t looked at it for a week.
Then it occurs to me- maybe this is a test within a test. Is there a timer running and they’re watching and thinking “classic- she hasn’t looked at it for a week. She’s stalled at the first hurdle. Tick that ADHD marker”.
Why is the assessment in different parts?! Why do I have to organise my thoughts?! This is hard work and stressful. And I know when it’s done it won’t have been as hard as my brain is telling me it is. What’s my password again?
*read this with a pinch of salt. I know there’s not hidden test, it’s just not an ADHD Friendly process!
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ADHD
|
some context : before my ocd was serious, i was an age regressor, and after a situation i had, i couldn’t do it anymore without it triggering a certain ocd theme
today however, since i’ve been getting better at ignoring my intrusive thoughts, i decided to log back into the twitter account i had specifically for agere for the first time since july and not only that but i was able to comfortably regress. i’m not cured, but i’m getting better ☺️
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OCD
|
I'm a dad with diagnosed adhd, 2 young kids and i've questioned if my eldest has had adhd or maybe just add for years. i got her tested at 6 years old and came back negative so i just assumed I'm lucky that she doesn't have it. yet i keep getting e-mails from teachers about behavioral problems i experienced as a kid.
She goes through crisis about just a starting a task, gets stuck needing to answer too many questions, is in a constant panic for any new or demanding task, cant stand noise (does the autistic hands over ears thing). she tends to cry a lot vs rationalize and try ect.
Now she's blaming stuff she does bad on hearing voices (worries me as my father is a diagnosed skitsizophrenic), yet i question if its just an excuse or game to her. My wife says she had similar things and believes the voices are ghosts im more rational so i don't believe in that, so would want to tell the family doctor about these issues, yet am worried they would take her away or stop her normal school progression.
She just makes something up or lies all time, cant seem to remember anything while having an amazing memory. i used to do this make up stories that were half truths to make my self seem interesting to others where i would belive in my own stories. now i tend to not make up stuff to embellish and just stick to facts as its easier.
Over all i just wanted life to be easier for her as it seemed it was going to be the case when she started school, her grades are good but she has more trouble learning and listening. im in my early 30's so have developed copping skills and i see her having to do the same and it saddens me.
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ADHD
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Hello. In the start of the year I borrowed my friend nearly 5000€ and he didnt send anything back yet. I am student who has part time job but now I am in really poor situation. I desparately need around 60€ and it seems impossible to find someone who could borrow me even though I can repay it in 2 weeks. I am so dumb I borrowed nearly all my savings
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depression
|
So for over a week I’ve been worried about a brain tumor. The back of my head hurt and after obsessing about it I felt dizzy and it felt tingly. My mom checked and there was an infected hair. A couple days ago when I left a restaurant and went outside my left eye started hurting and it’s a few days later and it still hurts. But it hurts the more I think about it and if I forget about it it hurts less. Today tho I got this feeling in my left eye. It almost felt like a small burning inside my eye for a few seconds almost like something was in it. Is this anything to worry about? I’m getting my eyes checked but it’ll be over 2 weeks before I can get in
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OCD
|
Have OCD and want to help further research?
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OCD
|
Just a check in: Still feel like shit. Been very anxious lately with my gf for some reason. If I were to lose her it’d be game over. Not sure I’d choose suicide, but at the very least an absolute disappearance and me falling off the face of the earth to everyone I ever knew. Guess maybe we’ll see. Hope not.
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depression
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My obsessions always hit me harder when i wake up that it makes me scared to even go to sleep.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/n40ocq)
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OCD
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Lately I feel like I'm going through cycles of being in a really good place mentally and being in an awful place. Sometimes I get a lot of things done, I take care of myself, I spend time working on my mental health. This good time lasts a couple of days to maybe a couple of weeks at most, then out of nowhere I have a flashback that brings me back to a horrible depressed state that lasts for weeks or months.
I feel myself being pulled into that depressive state and I keep trying to hold onto the happiness I felt yesterday. I'm not ready to let go of that good feeling, I just want it to last a little longer.
I wish I didn't have to live with this pain anymore, I can't do it much longer. My bones ache, my mind wont shut up, and I want to break my sobriety so I can stop feeling for a while. I just want some peace and to feel okay for longer than a couple days at a time.
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ptsd
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Currently struggling on food and having ADHD. Could I get y'alls suggestions on how you guys make it easier to successfully eat healthy and grocery shop while dealing with ADHD? I feel like I always worry way to much on what to eat then end up ordering unhealthy takeout. Or I will be at the grocery store and spend way to much time there and end up getting overstimulated and go home. Should also point out I have a HUGE gluten allergy.
thanks in advance!
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ADHD
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So I've been to a psychologist for the last couple of months, because of personal issues. After a few weeks, she suspected I had ADD. So now I took a test and after looking over it a bit, we're both quite certain that I do have ADD. Now, she talked about meds and the one I'm likely getting. For context, I am M/16.
She said it would take about 3 weeks of taking it to get used to, afterwards I could use it mainly to study, because that is my main issue. Apparently it also lasts pretty long, something about 8 hours, so I guess its a retar d (slowly releasing pill) of some kind.
It apparently doesn't respond badly to mixing it with alcohol/drugs, and there is low to 0 chance of addiction.
I am pretty sure she said something about it being similar to Ritalin, but I guess most of the substances are close.
Anyway, I live in switzerland and my next appointment is in 2 weeks, however I'd like to do some research of my own so i need to figure out which one it is.
EDIT: Holy f.... I just discovered this sub and basically saw all the shit I hate about myself. Always procrastinating, being absolutely useless in my free time and so on. This is just amazing. I just now realized that all my stupid behaviour patterns are just ad(h)d.
Thanks for this sub, i feel amazing right now.
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ADHD
|
I told my therapist that I don't think CBT and ERP will help me (I'm diagnosed with high functioning autism, OCD and social phobia). I already tried EMDR and it didn't work. My psychiatrist told me that psychoanalysis would not be useful for me. What other types of therapy can I try?
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OCD
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I have extreme COCD, like I have to wash my hands (at least) 8 times when I pee, washing my wrists and lower forearms on the fifth time. I also have severe social issues. Now, I was bullied in middle school by a kid I was really best friends with in elementary school and, as a trans woman, have extremely transphobic parents that I still live with as an almost 23 year old. Now I know that those two things are major causes of my social issues, but going through the memes on this sub has made me realize that maybe my OCD is partly to blame for my social issues. So my question is twofold. First, how many on this sub face major social issues due to their OCD? Second, from y'all's experience, what's y'all's opinion of my OCD being partly to blame for my social issues?
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OCD
|
How can help someone with ocd so that they could feel appreciated? Give me some facts you’d like someone near you to know about. What is nice to hear, what are strict don’ts ? Thanks
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OCD
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I’ve noticed that when I’m especially anxious I struggle not to dissociate a bit when I’m doing things like feeding my pets, locking my car, but especially when brushing my teeth. I scrutinise if I’ve put enough toothpaste on my toothbrush until I’m satisfied, but then when I start brushing I immediately think it wasn’t enough. Same thing when I spit and rinse, my brain tells me I didn’t actually brush my teeth and I feel the compulsion to brush again. I’ve tried to keep a checklist on my phone which helps for most other things but I don’t know how to overcome this one. It’s a hurdle I want so badly to get over but I don’t know how. I feel pretty alone in this - does anyone have similar experiences or any advice?
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OCD
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I’m 27 and from the US. I can’t function on my own. I don’t need people to do things FOR me, I need people to do things WITH me though. Only problem with that is that I’m always alone. I told this to my family and all they had to say was words of encouragement, “you can if you put your mind to it” etc. but it feels like nobody understands me.
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depression
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I’ve had this problem since I was like 14. Staying over at friends’ places was really hard and sometimes I wouldn’t even be able to sleep. Right now I’m staying in a guest house in a small town somewhere super far from where I live. Everything just feels so unfamiliar and I feel so unsafe. It sucks especially because I have a swimming session booked for tomorrow and I haven’t went swimming since pre pandemic. I’m worried about not being able to sleep beforehand which makes it even harder to sleep.
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aspergers
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Seriously what the fuck is this...
Anyone else deal w this?
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OCD
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I've been asked to leave a church for asking too many questions. (I wasn't a good fit) Anyone else have this problem? I have questions, and I'm tired of feeling bad for asking them...
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aspergers
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Possible tw, idk- Sometimes when I post here to express myself and look for answers, I rarely get what it is that I’m looking for. As a person with ocd, I’m ready to say that it’s POCD, because lately I’ve had obsessions different from what’s traditionally mentioned here. I obsess over this idea of contamination; As a creative artist, I’ve underwent a phase where I found myself becoming blindly associated with people who’ve been getting involved with mythical things and demonic themes in things such as art and music and video games, and after hard realization, I became overwhelmed from realizing the kind of attachment these people and their shared content has with stuff I normally wouldn’t get involved with. Looking back at what I allowed myself to accept made me feel guilty, and these days I feel like there’s so much wicked activity driven into most people that make them do or say or create things that are heavily offensive to god, and by being on social media, I run into things like that. I’ve questioned a lot on what makes people think it’s okay to like and embrace being evil and then claim to be a child of god after? To make a long story short tho, I’ve been obsessive over this for a few months now, and recently I’ve been almost stuck in my mind fighting scenarios and thoughts of things I shouldn’t have to be so focused on, and idk if I’m losing my mind or going schizo, cause phrases get said a lot as a compulsion of mine. Idk I’m just tired, and I want to go back to my state of mind where I didn’t let a lot of shit bother me but now I’m offended by the things I never been offended by. Any advice or talk would be nice
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OCD
|
had a video call with parents who live in Spain. (i am in England)
my mum is or was chronic heavy smoker for years and years. even despite developing severe COPD. she tried to give up a few times but yeh.
shit got really really bad a few years ago. couldn't talk for 5 minutes without horrendous coughing fits ....
my dad told me she went into hospital for a few weeks and well. now she has to be attached to a oxygen thing for 16 hours a day for the rest of her life. she apparently even tried having a ciggy when she got home from hospital and they had to get paramedics out because fucking DUH why would you think that's a sensible idea...
my dad is still smoking and has done so for longer than she even did... he said " well when it prevents me from doing things i like to do, I'll stop" .. i told him that that was SHIT logic because then its too late. i mean more kindly than that but still.
now, my parents .. my mother was 42 when she had me, i'm now 29 nearly 30. so they're an older generation... for many years my mum was basically liek a house servant, my dad wasnt abusive or anything just apparantly had no concept of like.. helping. with fucking anything. when i was odl enough i helped out with stuff and eventually so did he.. but...
i feel so much guilt. i feel liek the best years of her life were wasted A: raising me . an autistic fuckup who is still strugglign to figure out how to exist properly
b:takign care of me and my dad . and when they moved to spain, she got maybe 4 years of active adventures, she loves goign out and seeing stuff and going on walks. and now she has to be hooked up to a machine for 16 hours a day so.. how can that still happen, i dont think it can.
now its not my fault that she smoked so much. but i still just. i feel liek shit. i feel liek this horrible mix of guilt and immense sorrow. my parents are getting on. and i know they will pass but i hate that my mother only had a few years to truly live before this happening, and i know she probably doesn't have overly long left. its fucking me up quite a bit. and my dad still smoking is adding a certain amount of anger. you're fuckign watching the woman you love stuck on a fucking machien because of it. you doign it around her makes it even harder for her to not be able to. why would you still be fucking smoking i cant even process the stupidity of it and yet he's not a stupid person and isnt an unkind person either. . so im extremely scared for him too.
i also feel guilty because im fighting so much else right now, tyrign desperately to not be homeless. trying to sort shit out while being fucked around by the powers that be constantly. almost actively diligently fucked around with. have basically been trapped in what i have learned was a very abusive relationship. not in the sense of being beaten but in the sense of having absolute lakc of financial/personal independence/gaslit/ by someone who was far to ill with thier own issues to know they were beign abusive. which culminated in me being literally locked inside not able to go out or even open a window for the entire year of 2020. on top of basically a childhood full of abuse and trauma at the hands of peopel who didnt liek that i was different.. and being fucked over by government services that were supposed to help me. multiple times.
i was doing ok though. i mean, being able to actually talk to other humans and stuff. exercising and going out and stuff. finally got financial independence, but the fucking council are makign it so sifficult to get any kind of housing or support whatsoever. its like yanking out my ball hairs but with none of the intense enjoyment /s
it honestly has feltl ike the last 15 years has just been one big. fucking painful hurdle and its liek everytim e you get to the top and over. oh look. another great big fucking hurdle. and no matter how hard i try, shit keeps happening thats out of my control but nonetheless has massive knock on erffects on my general brain health/wellbeing .. t
i feel so many conflicting things at once, i feel like i should be processing this very important information because its my mother and i love her. but i have so much other stuff competing in my brain that i am struggling to process. that's on top of being autistic and finding processing shit like this difficult as it is. i dont know. i am aware that i am shit at typing in any coherent manner but i guess least i was able to vent.
tldr: how to deal with..grief?accpetance/juggling life being generally unstable and extremely tenuous grip on mental health.
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aspergers
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My brother accidentally broke his computer recently, and since its happened I have been obsessively checking mine and getting extremely anxious over if I am overusing it and stuff like that even though I know its fine. I hate when I get paranoid over stuff that I know is ok, or that is unlikely.
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OCD
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So the obsessive thoughts lead to an avoidance complusion, or me repeating different phrases in my head.
Any idea how I'd start erp with mostly mental obsessive worries?
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OCD
|
Is there any way you can do treatment for yourself if you cannot afford professional help? I have read lots of stuff online and watched lots of youtube videos as well as journaling and cbt and dbt workbooks but nothing seems to click for me and im getting desperate.
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ptsd
|
So I’ve had HOCD since September and since then I’ve done compulsions to test myself and see my bodies reaction, I didn’t do anything extreme like stick something in me but I let certain thoughts play and imagined certain scenarios, I haven’t been aroused from them and they given me reassurance but now I have a totally new obsession that’s even worse. It’s the fact that I’ve done these compulsions, what straight guy imagines the stuff I imagine?? I know they’re just thoughts but I’ve thought of some extremely graphic shit man and now it’s all tallying up, I started to think about all the compulsions I’ve ever done and I’m getting anxiety from it. Before I’d do compulsions and as long as I didn’t get a sexual reaction from it I’d forget about it go on with my day, I never cared about the thoughts themselves at all but now I’m realising how gay the stuff I’ve thought is, (I’ve even imagined myself receiving oral from a dude to see if I would like it, I didn’t but why tf did I think that, wtf???) I’m freaking out man
Now after I do a compulsion I keep ruminating about it afterwards, this new obsession has made everything 10x worse
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OCD
|
So I'm in the US working for a large multinational company. They have a large office in Asia and one in Europe. Although I'm remote at this moment, our interactions with the vast majority of my department has been mostly virtual even when we were in the office since the company has so many different offices around the US and the world.
I know that people with AS can be sticklers with their schedules and routines and although I'm probably a bit more flexible than most others on the spectrum, I really get thrown into a tailspin if any of the following is disrupted:
- My workday wakeup time of 6:30am (weekends are a different story even if I have to wake up earlier to, say, catch a flight or something.)
- My breakfast which should be within 30 minutes of waking up.
- My lunch which is at around 11:30am to 12:00pm.
Recently, my company has been having more and more required meetings. There was a guy from the UK office who I really need to meet for a project we're working on and for some reason, he can only meet at like 7am (which is like 1pm their local time.) The first time he made me meet him at that time, I had to make a sacrifice: either having to wake up early or to forego or delay my breakfast by waking up at my normal 6:30am. I chose to wake up at the same time but forego breakfast to attend that meeting (nevermind the fact that it was on a Monday of all days.) My manager was not too pleased since I wasn't at my 100% during the meeting, oblivious to the fact that it was so early in the day.
After that meeting, the host from the UK then decided to schedule yet another followup meeting on Friday (tomorrow) at 7:00am my local time again. This time, I straight out declined since I didn't want it to become a habit. He wasn't too pleased but we begrudgingly agreed to meet at 7:30am instead for an hour. However, my manager wasn't too pleased with this this time since it'll cause me to miss my [daily standup](https://geekbot.com/blog/daily-standup-meeting/) meeting with the team at 8:00am (which I've routinely attended with no issue ever since joining this company other than the occasional one-off conflicts.)
Is there any way to better convince others that you don't appreciate meetings that cause you to have to change your daily routine when it comes to your wake up time or meal times? I'm all pumped up and ready to use my rights to "Reasonable Accommodations" as my trump card (I'm diagnosed) if my employment is threatened due to not accepting these 7am meetings because they disrupt my schedule but I'm not sure if it'll hold any weight. Keep in mind I've not shared with my employer my diagnosis but I will if it comes to this. (And keep in mind I'd even consider taking the meeting at 7:30am instead of 7:00am as "reasonable".)
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aspergers
|
I’ve been seeing my current therapist for almost four years. She’s a DBT therapist trained in ERP and PE. When I think in my wise mind, I know she has my best interest in mind. But my OCD ... it just keeps telling me to not trust her no matter what she does and to be prepared for our therapeutic relationship to end. I obsessively check every week in session if she’s leaving her practice, if she’s moving to a different location, if she’s getting pregnant and having to go on maternity leave, and if she is going to fire me. At this point she knows this is my OCD checking so she generally tries to not reinforce my compulsive asking. I also frequently ask her if she has gotten her six year old son tested for pediatric cancer because I’m very paranoid that he may get cancer and that everyone will think it’s just growing pains when it’s actually bone marrow cancer or specifically neuroblastoma or glioblastoma. I ask her to check he’s healthy weekly by taking him to his pediatrician and getting full body scans to check for tumors and it feels very selfish because part of the reason I worry so much about him having pediatric cancer is because my therapist would have to stop working to take care of her son (which would not obviously be her fault but I want to be as prepared as possible in case our relationship has to end for any reason). My therapist says it’s concerning that even four years into our therapeutic relationship that I have frequent “ruptures” where I become totally shut off and refuse to be open because I don’t trust her. I don’t think I trust anyone. I obsessively think that I’m better off alone because I can be the only one to hurt myself instead of other people hurting me and that this way I’m in control. We have been trying for years to work on my paranoia about not trusting her and today I told her that I don’t think it’s ever going to get better. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop feeling paranoid that she will betray me or leave or treat me inappropriately. For example, she recently suggested I start coming to adult skills groups and I immediately asked her if she just wanted me to go so she could get paid more. I feel paranoid about not trusting people’s intentions and am always checking to find out if people have anterior motives.
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OCD
|
I’m 16. I picked up a smoking habit over the summer. I was smoking a cigarette outside of a petrol station and for some deluded fucking reason didn’t remember to put it out before tossing it in the petrol station bin (trash can if you’re American) I was talking with my friend when I realised there was smoke coming out of the bin . I thought ‘fuck’ and went over and fished it out and then put it out on the side of the bin. I’m back home now , it was a petrol station about 10 minutes from my house. I’m now terrified that I caused a fire. What if a fire has already happened and I have no idea. The ash might have made contact with petrol and caught fire. If I cause an injury or death I will never forgive myself . I’m so scared.
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OCD
|
I fell like depression has completely ruined both my short and long term memory. I can't remember things I was thinking about litterly like 10 seconds earlier. I also can't seem to remember things long term either. Not even the years before I became depressed. It all just feels like some kind of fog. I feel like my life is being ruined by me not being able to remember things.
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depression
|
I know this is not r/relationshipadvice but my symptoms are starting to make me nervouser and nervouser. And people wo PTSD probably won’t understand. Real questions at bottom explanations below:
So it’s a pandemic and im in a big city that’s not doing so hot. Partner doing fight/flight and they are waffling between “bug out” and fight by just piling work stuff/ hobbies stuffs but being a real huffy cunt about everything. I’m freezing. Having been in this state a lot I know that’s the safest least embarrassing thing I can do. Hobbies here and there but a lot of “deer in headlights” and then when work talks about “when we open” I just jog in place. I know how to do this. This has more or less been my “thing” (other than the pandemic part) since sentience. Those are the facts. Those are the truths.
Partner has just been none existent to me. I’m not expecting someone to sit with me all day or even talk to me all day. But the conversation on my end has been nothing of substance. Maby once a day/2 days. I’m very lonely. They are saying there is a lot of substance I just seem distracted. I’m known to lose time. I’m known to forget things. So I listen
I was fantasizing about how I loved having my own house and not having someone just judge my every move and think I’m lazy. (I relized it was I feel the need for permission for anything I do and they were not giving me that permission bc they didn’t know they had to) I explained what freeze was and that I was doing that to not do something embarrassing. They understood but I still feel like they are judging me. I see the looks, hear the remarks. They say I’m reading the body language and tone wrong. Ok, I listen. Questionably.
Dosent want me to go back to work..... and now I’m a cornered animal. They want me to get a new therapist. And other vaguely gaslighty red flags.
We’re in a pandemic. I get it. My partner was the first romantic shoulder I’ve ever had and I’m armored now. I don’t know if I should believe what I’m thinking, or trust them? They don’t seem so trustworthy these strange days. But I’m not trusting my brain processing.
QUESTIONS: (TLDR)
Feel like my partner is gaslighting me but they honestly could be not and I don’t trust myself I know the difference.
I actually don’t know what to do. I’m not at all in danger. But how do you get your head right? How do your clear the fog to see if your making a self-fulfilling prophecy, or seeing the truth?
|
ptsd
|
I used to sleepwalk a fair bit as a child but it settled down in adulthood.
Since experiencing something traumatic (diagnosed PTSD) I have been sleepwalking once or twice a week.
I seem to be acting out fear responses (leaping out of bed when I realise my partner is beside me, and trying to get out of the flat), but also fight responses (I’ve found a couple of bashed up saucepans in the kitchen that I don’t remember hitting things with).
I live alone so it’s pretty impossible to tell how often I’m doing it, but I do tend to wake up with random cuts and bruises which is concerning.
I know PTSD can fuck with your sleep and subconscious so sleepwalking more would make sense, I’m just slightly concerned that some of my “episodes” seem to be quite violent so I’d like to try and understand/mitigate them if possible.
Does this happen to anyone else? x
|
ptsd
|
even the smartest people on the planet dont get why i feel like a pathetic piece of shit all the time so idk man
i dont even have it half as bad as most of the people on here
everyone thinks im a weirdass anyways but i dont blame them god this shit is so annoying
|
OCD
|
Is it normal to have nightmares on things that you’re scared might happen in the future? I was sexually assaulted 2 times and I have a fear of being sexually assaulted or raped in the future. This fear leads to me having nightmares about “events” that take place one or two years in the future, where I am living my worst fear. Each time I have one of these nightmares my brain adds different or more details to the nightmares. The nightmares usually take place at night and in the same location. It goes back and forth between rape or sexual assault.
Is this normal? I know it’s normal to be obsessive over something but I don’t know if this is normal or not.
|
ptsd
|
Hi guys! First time visitor! How are you all doing?
Just got diagnosed (Yay for finally figuring out what is wrong with me) and my psychiatrist suggested 3 different meds. I was wondering if any of you can give some input if you tried them? I live currently in Germany, and don't know if the meds are significantly different outside the EU. The proposals were :
\-Methylphenidate
\-Lisdexamfetamine
\-Atomoxetine
I already did the bloodwork with all parameters being "fantastic" according to my doctor, have no issues with anxiety, OCD or paranoia, or any other mental stuff really.
Bonus points if the meds have significant effect on controlling hunger, since I am right now in the midst of the losing battle with ordering food and severely overestimating my appetite, which, coupled with the hate for wasting food causes me to overeat multiple times a week.
|
ADHD
|
For one of my courses I had to finish an assignment every week. I've actually managed to do this, and today I have to hand in the last one. Somehow, my brain is like 'give up'. Like, it's the last one, I could just not hand it in and it would not be a problem (yes it would). Always when I'm at the last few questions of a test, my instinct is to just wing it, even when I'm not sure the rest of the questions went well. Just the knowledge that I'm almost finished makes me want to rush and cut corners. It's frustrating.
|
ADHD
|
I've been struggling with a type of Pure O where I feel that I have to force members of my family to watch a tv show that I've watched alone, it's really getting to me and giving me so much anxiety, I know it doesn't sound like such a big deal but for me it's making me miserable, the truth is i don't actually want anyone to watch anything they don't want to watch, but I feel I won't relax until they watch
|
OCD
|
I have a lot of trauma from gunfire, and thought I finally found a quiet suburb to escape them (except, of course, nearly the whole month of July and weeks before in June). Unfortunately, a stadium sets off such loud fireworks I hear them with music on inside my home and miles away where they can't even be seen. It leaves me shaking and crying up to hours and on edge for days. I called and complained, but no one has ever listened to me this far in my life, so I was hoping to find a group advocating for an end to (or at least quieter) fireworks. Does anyone know who can help me with this advocacy?
|
ptsd
|
I've suffered from ADHD for the majority of my life (18M), and I've always sought refuge by doing construction or anything with wood or metal, but recently I don't think I'm very good at any of it. If there's any welders here or anyone in the construction field feel free to tell me how your ADHD has restricted or made your careers better. Thanks!
For clarification I've been welding for about three years and I don't feel as if I'm any good at it, or as good as I should be with the amount of time I've been doin git.
|
ADHD
|
To be a little more specific: I just recently got a job after months and months of looking.
I've started working in hotel and tourism industry, as a phone operator, which is terribly demanding and my boss has no empathy at all.
Never had any issues before in my other non-related previous jobs for when it comes to sensory overload, but truth is, not even a moth has passed since I started, my boss is starting to discredit me, even if I have accepted my mistakes when necessary.
I understand that my expressionless face won't help at all, but it's quite frustrating know that I'm doing my job, and probably someone else's job, but I always got to pay the check.
How do you guys manage to get through a job that is demanding/slaving?
|
aspergers
|
i recently got my nose pierced however i’ve started to completely pick at the piercings from the inside until it bleeds and i can’t be satisfied until it does, if i don’t feel like i’ve almost ripped my nose then i have to do it again and again until it feels right, i’m also doing this with other things as well i’m constantly clawing at the inner part of my ears until they bleed, i cant stop giving in when my brains telling me to do it
does anyone have any tips on how i can stop this?
|
OCD
|
Upon reflection, it is inadvisable for one's reaction to being told "your mental state is deteriorating" to be an outburst of laughter.
It was just... her deadpan serious and forthright statement of fact that others might have skirted around struck me in the funny zone. Not my usual doctor but damn I like her manner.
She looked worried that I might have taken offense but I explained that I'm not good at reading social cues so forthright communication was absolutely the right tactic.
I can't quite explain what was funny, but after the initial laugh it kind of self perpetuated by thinking of how incongruous it is to laugh at that sort of news, which was also funny, and so on and so on.
Anyone else had some incongruous/inappropriate laughter this week?
|
aspergers
|
Brain: Word *porn* pops in head
Me: okay wtf
Brain: *child porn*
Me: alright take it easy there.
Brain: *you’re a pedophile*
Me: I really don’t think so but okay.
Brain: *everyone in this room thinks you are a pedophile*
|
OCD
|
I'm not going to lie, Lizzie was not my favorite Baker this season (Giuseppe is my guy can I get a hell yeah), but I cried on my way to work this morning thinking about how hard Lizzie had worked this season while constantly hearing "it's messy, finesse! Finesse!" Or Pru saying she wanted to strangle her because she's so good but can't be neat and tidy.
Then Lizzie busts out that learning disability cake for her celebratory cake showstopper to celebrate her ADHD and other LDs, and it was magnificent.
As a parent, spouse, and employee who has bad imposter syndrome about this "kids disease" but in reality has seen it affect my family and jobs, it resonated so much to watch her struggle. And it was incredible to see her do something so amazing to celebrate who she is, even if it wasn't enough to save her. It sucks that people don't know or understand how hard it can be, and how hard we are on ourselves just to operate at other's normal level.
Go Giuseppe, though.
|
ADHD
|
I’m sure many of us have come to experience racing thoughts at some point. But I want to ask, for those of you that did experience/ or do experience, how long does it last? And what consequences has it led to.
Because I’ve been dealing with racing thoughts that have been mingled with rumination that have lasted months now. 24/7. The only time they’re not there is when I’m asleep. And even then they’re sometimes present in my sleep. This has led to a myriad of consequences such as a feeling of constant dread in the check, chocking sensation, stomach churning, loss of appetite, foggy brain, total loss of focus and short term memory, loss of personality, insomnia. Anyone else face/d this?
|
OCD
|
Since i came back from australia at march 2019, i had this feeling that i being stalk or watch with a group of organisation or goverment, i notice my handphone olso being mirror by them. And until now. I can hear got people hiding on ceiling of my rent room just to watch im doing. What should i do?
|
depression
|
Let's imagine that you're given a difficult problem. You obsess over it and after a short time you solve it. Then after a while, someone else gives you that exact problem but this time there's no obsession and enthusiasm left in you. You feel like you have no clue about it, or it takes some time to solve it again as if it's a new problem except that you're not in the mood at all this time. Now consider that this case might happen for example in an exam, and you might lose credits and you feel stupid afterwards.
Personally, I think that it's not worth it for my brain to spend time and energy on the same problem twice. I don't know if this makes sense.
Have you ever been in such a situation? Do you know what might be the cause(s)? So far I haven't found anyone that I know with this condition, so I thought it might be related somehow to being on the spectrum. Maybe not. Thanks anyway.
P.S. I think I should note that I'm known to be a good problem solver (at least in my field) and I have a good memory, so it might not be due to the memory malfunction. I'm not sure though.
P.P.S. The title is a related variation I made on this quote "all things are difficult before they are easy" by Thomas Fuller (or maybe Saadi Shirazi, the persian poet).
|
aspergers
|
So long story short I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago, I’ve been taking my medication and balancing everything so much better. To me, I’ve been going on this wild journey of being able to make connections between things that I’ve done/doing that are relayed to my ADHD. It’s exciting and as if suddenly so many things make sense!
Here’s where I am having difficulty: it feels as if every time I make connections and get excited about them, the people in my life respond the same. Today hurt a little more than usual when my roommate said “Oh my goodness, not everything can be related or connected to ADHD. Either everyone has it or it’s just something that normal people do. I’m not trying to invalidate you but-“.
I’m starting I can’t feel like I can talk about these kinds of things with people who don’t understand them, how do you guys navigate this kind of stuff?
|
ADHD
|
I keep forgetting what I’m doing, having to write things down, I even made the mistake of texting someone when I meant to do a google search. I’m only 24 and while Alzheimer’s/Dementia runs in my family, I’m not sure I could show signs this early…
I still feel like myself but idk i’ve never felt this helpless before :(
|
ptsd
|
I’ll preface by saying that I’m scheduling an appointment with my physician tomorrow to discuss with him, but I would like some first-hand experiences from all of you. I have PTSD due to childhood traumas, sexual traumas, and domestic abuse. I’m currently in therapy and fast approaching sessions dedicated to EMDR. During my session today, my therapist recommended I start using an anti-anxiety but one that isn’t a benzo, like Xanax, otherwise it could interfere with the EMDR sessions. I have been on Xanax before for postpartum depression and hated it anyway. I’ve also been on Wellbutrin and it made me paranoid. Aside from those two, I have no idea what’s out there. Anyone else couple non-benzos with EMDR and had success?
UPDATE: I was put on Celexa today. Here’s hopin’! Also, apparently I wasn’t on Xanax before, I was on Zoloft when I had auditory hallucinations. Steered clear of that, for sure!
|
ptsd
|
Is anyone familiar with this? I sometimes get the sense that someone got word of me and decided that it warrants treating me like a kid or like someone with an intellectual disability.
Another dynamic is that sometimes I get the sense that someone met me, decided that I'm frustrating to deal with or they otherwise just didn't like me, and they project pity and disgust onto me with this unnecessary and exaggerated way of talking down to me like a child. It's as if they think they're doing me a favor but subconsciously they found a way to treat me in a way that pushes me down and satisfies their ego at the same time.
|
aspergers
|
As unbearable as they feel when they happen, I'm kind of just used to them. They've been happening for as long as I can remember, so I have nothing to compare to. I don't remember what it's like to live without them.
I got recently hospitalized and was diagnosed with PTSD. I've had a hunch I might have it for a while, but to actually be diagnosed feels... unreal. I was told about emotional flashbacks. When I was younger, I tried to talk about these "waves" of feelings I get that appear, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere and sometimes seemingly triggered by something, but they got blamed on teenage hormones at the time. These "waves" would just disappear in a second, as if nothing happened, and I'd just go on with my day since I was so used to them even then. But they never went away, so...
Today I had a really bad one and I have no one to talk to about it. I don't \*like\* talking to anyone. I usually don't want to open up. The few times in my life that I've tried to open up, I've just ended up regretting it. But, I don't know, I guess today was just extra hard. Lately I've been realizing how my life was stolen from me before it even began. For the first time in a long time, I feel so angry.
What are your experiences with flashbacks, if you're comfortable sharing? Are there times that you're just numb to it, or that you're kind of just used to them?
|
ptsd
|
Its weird. So I was in my head like what is it? Whats the word? Whats this weird feeling?
|
OCD
|
To keep things brief, I'm listing instead of paragraphing.
Steps towards making my life better:
1.) Get vaccinated so I'm not scared to leave the house.
2.) Call therapist and make appointment.
3.) Apply for SSI (disability for those who haven't been able to do significant work ever)
4.) Talk to Mom about us moving.
Progress:
1.) Last vaccine Monday! (Wooo!)
2.) Therapist said I needed IOP (Intensive Outpatient Therapy) instead of regular therapy because my symptoms were so bad. $400 for one 2 hour session (I think several times a week for 3-6 weeks) instead of $75 per 1 hour regular session.
3.) While filing for SSI, I took a break from filling out the form so I could put together my extensive list of therapists and doctors. Somehow it submitted? When I didn't hit submit and then it got denied. I didn't even get to put my symptoms in. Waiting on paperwork in the mail to reapply.
4.) Mom is waiting on a loan so we can fix the house (that I've damn near ruined with my OCD). She wants to try to pay for my therapy with some of the loan money.
I feel like any time I try to make an effort, it just gets whacked up. I feel so helpless. I think this is the most helpless and dependent I've ever felt in my life and I hate it. Mom and my BF take care of me and I can't do anything anymore. I feel like my OCD has sucked the life out of us. I just want to be useful and not like this. I feel like the worst burden. I can't even fix it when I put my full effort into it. I feel like a waste.
Also, $400 for one session?! The Therapist absolutely deserves to get paid that much, but how am I supposed to afford that when I can't even work? How are any of us supposed to get help?
|
OCD
|
Like I find myself I am very impatient, whether its in traffic, waiting for a doctor, anything really. When plans change I can get upset. When I was younger I'd get really upset if an event or something was cancelled, maybe even crying. Anyone relate?
|
aspergers
|
Im scared im gonna spend years studying and then hate my job 2 years after starting work and change careers. Or dont even finish my degree
Previously ive worked 3 jobs and ive liked them when i started but absolutely hated them after a year or two. They were just hospitality retail so not terrible. But i always get really into a career path and commit to it then start to hate it and move on.
Ive been good at most career pathways ive tried and always know how to succeed in them but i just cant stick to them.
How do i find something i will love and stick to even for just 5 or 10 years. I always quit before i progress to any management positions.
I really love the degree im currently doing and am very good at it and the job that follows it and have already started working in the field. I have a few tears left of my degree but im scared im gonna hate it soon. Even before i finish my degree.
|
ADHD
|
Just curious about how it effects other people. I’m currently on 4 MGs
|
OCD
|
Burping triggers me. It freaks me out and I have to hold my breath from 19-35 seconds depending on the severity of the burp. I just bought my grandparents carbonated drinks bc I wanted to go to Sonic. We’re now sitting in the truck and they’re burping every few seconds. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Does anyone have any tips to mitigate this problem?
|
OCD
|
Hi , i recently found out I’m autistic through self diagnosing.
Everything now makes sense now , I would remember crying as a child because i couldn’t make friends. I would pace back and forth being frustrated or because of anxiety. I have a hard time focusing on stuff I don’t like. I would excel on everything I like and learn quickly. I’m very passionate with my current hobbies.
I just feel really disconnected ever since I found out I was autistic. Like if I were speaking a different frequency. I can’t connect with people , I don’t feel empathy or many other emotions sometimes.
I get really bad anxiety and stress even typing this out , I think I’ve had this issue my entire life I just didn’t know it. I burn out every week which is normal I think , I feel better after.
I like being alone , I’m usually always busy with training and my family business. But if I’m not training or working I get extremely bad anxiety and makes me go absolutely nuts.
My mom and brother are both on the spectrum too, but they have no problem with socializing.
What makes me happy is my boxing and mycology hobbies , I really put incredible amounts of effort in both.
Boxing keeps me distracted , I feel accepted there at least. Like how I mentioned I’m very passionate with my hobbies and that helps me train 6-7 days a week 2x per day. I aspire to be a pro boxer in the future.
While writing this made me go through a emotional roller coaster , I’m so confused.
|
aspergers
|
Never really had anyone to talk to about this so I thought I’d get advice here,I don’t even know if I have ptsd
ive had my fair share of childhood trauma and being held at gun point a few times (I live in a reallly shitty neighborhood)but this incident is really fucking with my head ,about a year or so I got involved in a shooting ,someone broke into my house with a gun (god knows what they could’ve done to me and my family )but I opened fire on him and struck him in multiple places(it was a justified shooting never had any legal action take place against me,was only detained not arrested ) ,he was hit in the chest multiple times and once in the head ,but he was still semi conscious as the shot to the head cracked his skull but wasn’t fatal,I can’t get the images out of my head or his last words out of my head ,he was basically saying help me and that he didn’t want to die ,but it was all distorted/gasping , I think he was hit in the lung as well,and he started twitching /seizing I don’t know what word to use ,I can’t get this night out of my head,I can’t unsee his brains leaking and him bleeding and twitching on the floor ,I can’t even properly sleep anymore as every dream I have is about that night or what could’ve happened that night if I didn’t shoot.I never wanted this to happen:(((but I was even more afraid of what they could’ve done to me or my family.I don’t really have anyone I could talk to about this as all my friends distanced themselves from me after this
Any advice would be appreciated,should I seek therapy ?or would this be a waste of theres and my time
|
ptsd
|
Today, while talking to my 'life coach' we came to a few heavy conclusions.
The biggest, which I already knew. Is that there's no solution for my ADD and I'm basically doomed for life and just need to accept life will always be hard and kind of sucky. She's already the second therapist who gets shocked a bit about the fact that it's so obvious that they cannot really help me aside from trying to help me accept that's how it is and always will be. And give me recognition for it.
Recognition is the second conclusion. It's something I'm constantly looking for and don't get from anyone. Nobody can understand how hard it is and how screwed I basically am. But it helps to be able to talk to someone and make them realize how bad it is. Instead of always getting the same shitty 'oh it will get better' bullshit answers.
Because the truth is. Having ADD for me, is the worst thing that could happen to a person. Because it limits me to be happy or to be able to enjoy things.
I envy people who can turn their ADD into a positive thing. Because for me it's worse than anything else.
I'm just thankful I'm a fighter and i still try to make the best out of life.
But I wish the world would have more understanding and recognition for how bad it is to have ADD, especially when it's so present as it is for me.
Is it selfish to say I think I should get some benefits, like other people with disabilities get?
Instead of having to pay so much money for therapy and meds from my own pocket every month. :(
|
ADHD
|
been experiencing this for two days and wondering if anyone else gets it as a side effect of their PTSD and how they manage it?
i'm at an intense point with my PTSD therapy: we've started going over the event itself in more detail, and my homework is to write out the event as if it's happening now (first person present tense). this is the most i've engaged with the memory in detail since it happened, and since therapy on tuesday i've been cycling between fairly normal to aggressively dissociating to crying faster than you can say "rollercoaster"
the emotions are something i was prepared for but physically this is new. i've never experienced dizziness as a symptom before, except for when i wasn't eating properly but i'm definitely eating enough now, and have been trying to have a protein bar and a glass of water whenever the dizziness hits just in case it helps (though it hasn't made any difference yet). i also have other new physical symptoms - getting intensely sweaty, for one, and shaking a lot, and bizarrely enough i've had the hiccups like four times in two days which i don't even know if that's related but it's annoying - but the dizziness is the one that's most getting in the way of things. its not exactly room spinning, more like my eyes are shaking and my vision is vibrating, and everything goes blurry and tunnel vision and it's hard to stand up.
i have to go run errands tomorrow and i have no idea what to do if it hits when i'm in public. would rather not fall on my ass/throw up/walk into traffic/etc. it's also kind of a vicious circle - it feels exactly the way my vision does when i've been drinking and bc i was drunk when the trauma event happened it's like the last thing i want to be experiencing physically right now, so it makes me feel even worse. any advice?
|
ptsd
|
It’s not that fucking simple, friend.
I hope you never have to experience the heartbreak and abandonment I’ve felt. That shit ruins you.
It’s killed everything inside of me.
|
depression
|
I've been at my job for 3 years and I don't hate it. It's the longest I've ever been a job and it's close to home. They pay for my college and the $/hr is the best I can get in this field. *BUT*
I've gotten a new boss recently who isn't as flexible. Long story short if I can't fix the zoning out by the end of the month then they'll have to let me go. My numbers are fine but the zoning out makes it look like I'm slacking off and that's "a bad look for the company ".
I want to work here again in the future so Is it better to quit or get fired ?
I should note that due $$$ (and a failed prior authorization) I'm not on medication.
Sorry for the long post.
|
ADHD
|
Just curious what the percentage is. No judgement on either side. Lets not turn this into a flamewar. I have a theory.
|
aspergers
|
It's been so long. Winter is changing to spring, and the anniversaries are kicking my ass. It's been so long. I don't know him anymore. I don't know whether he is the same. I'm not the same. I'm not there anymore, and I know that. I have so many good things, and yet when the seasons change, it gets worse every time. But it's been so long. How many years do I have to go through feeling like this? How long will it be until I forget everything? I've been able to move on through a lot, I've improved in many ways, but I'm still not fully over it, and it still hurts so much. I still feel so much fear. I'm getting nightmares again. I'm getting flashbacks again. How fucking long will it take for this to be done? I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to miss him anymore. He has a whole new life and has probably not had a single thought about me in years, and yet so much of my life is still fucked up because of him. I'm so unbelievably tired of this, I feel so dumb and pathetic for not being able to just live my life like a normal person. I wish it would stop, and I'm so scared that it never will, and I'll spend the rest of my life dealing with all this pain. I wish I could tear my heart out just to stop feeling it. I'm not suicidal, I don't want to die, but god I want it to stop. I really hope it does someday.
|
ptsd
|
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