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Male 20 here. Recently I visited an eap therapist fora short period and she told me that I likely had Generalized anxiety disorder. I did some research and I learned that GAD and OCD occur together with some people. At this current point I’ve become obsessed with searching up symptoms to try and really understand if I have it or not.
I feel the urge to know right now. A waitlist for therapy has really kept me from getting properly diagnosed. Sometimes I’m unsure if the way that I think is purely due to overloaded anxiety or something more.
The thing is I don’t have a lot of thoughts that I’d consider intrusive. There have been times where I have a short period of time where I get completely obsessed with something going wrong with my body. Whether that be if I have adhd, an irregular heartbeat or If I’ll develop schizophrenia.
These sort of thoughts go away though after that Initial infatuation. I can’t really tell if this is just my horrible anxiety or something.
The biggest intrusive thought that I’ve had is paranoia. It gets really bad at night or when I’m alone. For some reason I feel like someone has been living in my home and is lurking in the shadows trying to kill me. I have images in my head of them right behind the door, right behind the shower curtain. These thoughts completely disappear when I’m with my girlfriend though.
Sorry for this mess of a post. I’m currently past my bedtime venting. I figured that this would be beneficial for me to write out. At the least I could use this post as a bit of a road map on the topics I want to make sure to touch on in therapy.
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OCD
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I’ve suffered from depression since I was 12. The last few weeks have been the worst it’s ever been. Wake up either crying or full of anger. Really feel I can’t take anymore and could really use some words of hope from people who have been there and gotten better. Right now, that just doesn’t seem possible for me.
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depression
|
I was prescribed meds for my adhd a very long time ago and I really did not react well. I’ve been without medication for over 9 years and found myself having a hard time dealing with my adhd sometimes but not consistently. I do not want to be on a regular medication schedule. Is there a medication that can be taken only when needed and be effective in treating sudden adhd outbursts?
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ADHD
|
Hi friends, I'm have a hard time. I don't feel comfortable working at my job anymore at all. My contamination OCD is making this job very stressful and I don't know what to do. We need the money for food and necessities and to get on our feet but I constantly feel like I am being contaminated and that my stuff is getting contaminated. Especially right now. A coworker of mine has a GI infection of some sort and that is similar to what triggered my contamination OCD to start after I got cdiff from the hospital this year. The other coworkers here do not wash their hands and they touch the refrigerator, printers, drawers, papers etc. This morning I went to go pee ( I already fear going in that bathroom) and I see diareah splattered all in the toilet. I am panicking and I can't do this anymore. I have put in for other jobs today but I don't even think I want to come back tomorrow but I know it is best to put in two weeks. I don't want to feel defeated because of my OCD....but I don't feel safe here. This is the first job I've had in years because of my mental health. What should I do?
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OCD
|
I own 2 laptops, the first laptop is running Fedora (Linux) and the Second one is a chromebook. I prefer taking online notes, but I found myself getting distracted.
I decided to make some modifications to my Chromebook to make it what is essentially a Digital typewriter.
It took me an hour but I installed Libre Office along with MS Office Fonts. I modified everything to make it to my liking. I also installed Squid.
Squid is an app that lets you take handwritten notes.
I then disabled WiFi and Bluetooth by removing the WiFi card.
That’s pretty much it.
It works perfectly and it really helps me focus.
The storage is less and I use a thumb drive to transfer files to my main computer.
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ADHD
|
I'm on Zoloft 175 mg for MDD, GAD, SAD, OCD, eating disorder, excoriation disorder (dermatillomania). My psych said to go up to 200 mg (the limit for Zoloft) as OCD needs a high dose. If that doesn't help, then consider adding on another med. She was thinking of something fast acting, (don't think a SSRI), that would help with the depression, anxiety, and OCD. I'm wary of meds that cause appetite increase bc 1. It would trigger my binging/purging aka very bad 2. Weight gain would make ED so much worse. Also nothing additive (ie. No benzos). Approved for people less than 18. I'm not asking for medical advice, just wondering about other people's experiences
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depression
|
If I have an intrusive thought while eating (or even just while thinking about eating, like if I'm planning what to make for dinner later) then it feels as though that thought "attaches" itself to the food. So then it's like, well, this food *represents* the intrusive thought, so if I eat it, it's as though I'm bringing the \[thing I'm afraid of\] inside of me, and then as a "result" the thing I'm afraid of will come true.
So then I can either not eat the meal at all, or eat it and puke later. These both suck. I hate it. I hate throwing up. I don't *want* to. And it's really not about the *food,* it's like, I *want* to eat like a normal person, I otherwise have a very healthy relationship with food and I know it's not logical, but when this happens it's near impossible to resist the urge to "remove" the "bad thing" from my body to ensure that "nothing bad happens."
Anyways, I don't know why I'm sharing this, has anyone else dealt with it? Any tips on resisting or coping? I guess the thing to do is just... sit with the anxiety, but it just feels so *bad*, you know? How do you deal with how scary and wrong it feels to not act on a compulsion?
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OCD
|
I’ve had repetitive intrusive thoughts and constant rumination since I was a kid.
Ive spent the past 5 years in CPT with the same therapist the entire time. Worked though a lot of trauma.
Started circling the drain 3 months ago. Every once in a these things spiel out of control. This was one of those times.
Enough rumination led me to consider OCD. It was like someone turned on the lights. It fit the bill.
Told/asked my therapist. They passionately denounced the possibility quoting I wasn’t doing enough compulsions, and that this was GAD, PTSD, Depression.
This threw a red flag. Was the first time she wasn’t open to exploring or consider something I was trying to share.
And I don’t wanna be that guy who is like oh I’m OCD and isn’t. And it’s literally all I’ve been thinking about for the past 4 weeks What if?
So I made an appointment with NOCD. 10 minutes in they’re like yeah no for sure this is OCD. At the end, they said I probably have OCD but maybe PTSD, but that ERP would help regardless due to the intrusive thoughts and rumination.
Took the air out of my sails. In the beginning I was like yes finally some answers and by the end i was back to the beginning.
Feeling braid by my first therapist, guilty that I went behind their back for a second opinion, and feel like I can’t trust their judgement either because NOCDs business model is to take in clients and treat them. What if I’m just quirky/autistic and they’re just taking my cash?
So idk if it’s ocd/ptsd and frankly I don’t care at this point I just want to get better.
ps my CPT is solid but also uses psychodynamic models, which looking back May not be the best approach especially if this is OCD.
If you’ve experience in this I would love to hear your story.
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OCD
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OCD
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I just do. I tried to make a ‘joke’ about entitled people and rights and it got me banned from a subreddit just after my temp ban ended. I tempted fate and got bit.
Anyone else feel this pain of also never understanding the joke and then being the joke?
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aspergers
|
This emptiness won't go away. I feel this emotional pain straight to my soul. I need release. I have the urge to harm myself (not end my life or anything, don't get me wrong). I just want to feel some sort of release.
I'm so tired of this void. I just want to scream. I feel like the whole room is burning and i can't escape. I'm just ao fucking frustrated
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depression
|
I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Everyone keeps saying time heals all wounds... it's been almost a year and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I don't think I was made for this world. I was made as a lesson of what not to be, and what not to do.
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depression
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So I’m just starting to heal and I notice when I feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety I end up having random outbursts of feeling hyper instead of panicking. But it can quickly turn to me crying but I often feel like I have to get up and move around to get the energy out is this normal... does this happen to anyone else?
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ptsd
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I was thinking about charity of something and the number 13 came to my mind and since number 13 is suppostly the unlucky number ocd wants me to repeat it until i stop thinking about that number.
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OCD
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I’ve struggled with anxiety + depression. It’s gotten worse over the last two years and I started taking zoloft (sertraline). I am also an artist and noticed the meds started to affect my creativity and I stopped taking them to see if it would help my art. It did, but I think right now, I need a good mind instead of good art. I’ve tried to start taking them again - it took my four weeks of taking them consistently for me to notice any difference, but this time, I’ve been really struggling to remember to take my meds. Even when I remember I forgot, I sometimes decide it’s okay if I miss a dose. Or don’t see the point in it. It’s almost like I don’t know how to properly function or take care of myself anymore. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to motivate myself to do what I need to get better? Or even any app recommendations that would help with reminding me and/or motivate me to consistently take my meds? Thanks <3
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depression
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I'm 18 I would not say I am full grown up yet. But I'm working on it I only just graduated high school.
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aspergers
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So I took the last year off of college because of covid and I worked on my mental health a lot in that time. I realized that the way I was motivating myself to complete tasks was mostly by purposely generating anxiety by telling myself that I would fail and never be happy if I didn’t do whatever I needed to complete. This caused a lot of emotional problems and burnout, but hey, at least I got stuff done on time.
This semester I decided to try being kind and supportive of myself to motivate me to get work done. When I’m struggling, I tell myself “you can do this, I believe in you” or write down why I WANT to do the task ahead.
But it just isn’t working.
I have a pretty jam packed schedule (5 classes and a job) and its midterms right now and normally I would have gotten started a lot earlier, but I just haven’t been able to do any substantial work. Now I’m stressed anyway and honestly don’t have enough time to do the work I need to.
I guess maybe the obvious answer is that when I’m treating myself with respect, I just realize that I can only handle a lower workload, but I can only afford to go to this school by taking 18 credits a semester. And I still have to finish this semester.
I just dont really feel engaged unless I have anxiety, though now my anxiety come with difficulty getting a full breath, which also hinders my work.
TL;DR: how can we live a healthy life when we only complete tasks outside of our special interests if we can only engage when our fight or flight is triggered?
Have any of you had success with motivation that isn’t anxiety-based?
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ADHD
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The amount of fucking masking I do to try and keep her from worrying is actually destroying me. I’m self destructive by nature, I have been for a long time. I can’t explain it but I crave bad habits and have this overwhelming urge to just fuck my life
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depression
|
It was a peaceful death. She died painlessly, in her sleep, working from a home that she loved inhabited by her dear husband of twenty one years. She didn’t get to grow old and enjoy the fruits of retirement, or get to see me come home from college one last time to tell her how much I loved her and wanted to see her happy despite how much of my soul has been rotted away; but she was spared from the pains of growing old, the worsening health issues and the risk of dementia. I’m thankful that she died not having to experience that hell.
But now, me and my dad are on our own. Despite all the good memories and the amount of time I could waffle on about how it was the best way she could have gone, nothing’s changing the fact that she’s gone now. I’ll never get to hug her, kiss her goodnight again, or debate who loved each other more. She’s never going to get frustrated trying to call me down for tea. I’m gonna miss her corny jokes. A son is missing his shoulder to cry on. A husband is missing the light of his life. Two parents have watched their daughter ripped away from them, and a brother has watched his other half wrenched apart. She was, funnily enough, the person I went to in the middle of my throes of panic thinking about my own demise. She’d already come to terms with her own, and so had I. I knew it would happen one of these days.
I’ve been strong for my dad, lord knows mother’s death is hitting him harder than it is me, but it feels like the walls are closing in and I can’t breathe. It’s going to be a few days before my brother comes back home for a week, and even though my uncle is a phone call away, I feel so trapped. We’re alone in this fucking house. The air here is like the reaper’s stench.
I’ve done well writing so far but I just don’t have the energy anymore. I just don’t feel safe now that one of the four people I loved the most has just vanished from my life. I could go on and on and on but I’ll cut myself short. I’ll just say the handful of words that convey it all:
I want you back, mom. I love you.
​
​
Please, it's selfish of me to ask but offer me your strength tonight. I can't handle this on my own.
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depression
|
Anyone else get ocd with their eyes? Like I feel like I have to move them a certain way. There’s no anxiety, it just feel like I should
This doesn’t happen often but every once in a while I’ll get episodes. Anyone else?
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OCD
|
The past two weeks I’ve felt so many different emotions and so many different things. I haven’t really been posting much because I don’t really feel a need to post because I’m too lazy to literally say everything going on in my mind but recently things are a bit different. I have had many forms of ocd (hopefully) and all of them are just idek. The worst ones are my hocd rocd and this weird psychopath ocd. It’s like the past few weeks I see signs of myself indicating that I could be a serial killer in the near future and I see myself doing these things. I don’t feel like guilty or anything and I actually feel like I want to do these things. It’s like I’m watching a movie of a serial killer and I’m in his shoes like the way he thinks and everything. Also my hocd I literally think like my sexuality has changed, whenever I’m around my friends I jeep getting weird feelings and thoughts of me and them being alone and it could lead to having sex and shit. I don’t even like fight it I feel like it’s so easy to go do this shit and I have sex with guys now. I literally think I’m getting aroused from this like I actually enjoy it and it’s like I’m not even hating it. I have a severe porn addiction as well I’ve been trying to fight it but I now I have just given up idec anymore. I keep waking up with huge headaches like everything is wrong and something is rotting my mind. I can’t get any work done not because of the thoughts but because I can’t shake off this feeling that everything is wrong. Also my rocd , I can’t even talk to my gf anymore like I literally don’t know how to anymore it’s like she is a stranger to me. Like the conversation goes dry in a couple min even tho she used to be my bestfriend and we could do everything and tlak about everything. All of this is just so shit but I genuinely think in the near future I could be all of these things I just feel it.
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OCD
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I was trying to look up some stuff about hocd on reddit (when I probably shouldn’t have) and went too far and ended up on a fetish subreddit. And oh my god I had memories of obsessing over it before my ocd started, it was clearly very real. And I still feel like I have it now, like I feel something when I see it, but I DON’T WANT THIS, I HATE IT. I’m not even sure if this is ocd anymore, or me being in denial. I don’t know what to do right now, I feel like throwing up, I’m so done right now
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OCD
|
My step father has been taking his anger out on me and the rest of my family even more than usual and today was the day he kicked me out and told me to leave and bring my damn dog with me. All because I stood up for myself and family. Of course my mother isn’t going to help Bc she doesn’t care, of course my siblings aren’t going to help bc they don’t care, and no one in my family cares at all.
When my sister was going through her stuff for years everyone helped her so much, even when she kept having kids after the courts told her she won’t have custody of any of them. My mother doesn’t love me and she’s too ashamed to admit it out loud. I can’t even focus on college anymore Bc now I have to figure out how I’m not going to be homeless. The shelters out here are shit and everything is backed up Bc of COVID…. I honestly hate my life right now and wish everything was easy, that rape was never a thing in the first place, that people actually cared, and to know what a real family feels like. I’m trying to fix so many things for myself and nothing ever works for me, everything is so difficult again and I’m getting way overwhelmed this feeling is hitting me in the gut.
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ptsd
|
A lot of people to your talk about how society wasn’t made for us and how we have to adapt to NTs but they won’t adapt to us, which is a perfectly valid complaint
However, I think a lot of us are guilty of this too but in different ways. We often expect people to speak the language of our country or at least a major language that is spoken around the world. Someone who speaks on the English is going to get by better than someone who speaks fluent Navajo but mostly good English. Also, more related to disability, a lot of people do not know sign language, even though it would be greatly beneficial to deaf people for hearing people to learn and the fact that almost no one knows sign language further disables deaf people.
Generally, the minority has to adapt to the majority, especially if the minority is less than 2% of the population. The exception is if the minority is significantly more powerful than the majority, which isn’t really the case for disabled people.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything, I’m just planning out the truth of the situation
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aspergers
|
I have always been curious but my mom is anti-medication and i just want to get out of this feeling of hopelessness. Was wondering what other people have experienced… i have been unable to get a proper diagnosis because where i live physiatrists are booked for almost two years in advance. My therapist recommended trying with my PCP, (i am lucky to be able to even have a therapist and i am grateful for that part) but part of me feels like i’ll always feel like i’m not enough and antidepressants are not going fix me. I just want to know if there’s people out there who are actually on the road to healing and being happy/joyful. Tbh i feel so bitter and angry and hopeless most days, i just want to be actually happy compared to faking it all the time,
but anyways first rant on here thanks for reading if you have
also i’m here for anyone who needs to talk too
xoxo
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depression
|
I’d had OCD from a pretty young age. Although I only got a proper diagnosis a few years ago, in my early 20’s.
In the last 2 years I seem to have developed tics, some of which similar to what I’ve experienced before, but others a lot more severe. I also experience what I can only describe as ‘tic attacks’ usually after a day of suppressing my tics.
Has anybody else gone from having regular OCD to tourettic OCD?
Does anybody with tourettic OCD experience these ‘tic attacks’ after suppressing their tics?
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OCD
|
I had cut myself the night before. Then, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore.
Currently, my boyfriend and I are not in a good place. I texted him that I was struggling to live. He had a welfare check done on me.
I took 10 30mg of NyQuil last night. So when the cops showed up, they said I was fine even thought the medicine made me feel high as a kite. I couldn’t believe they thought nothing was wrong.
I texted my best friend this morning explaining how much NyQuil I took, and she said she also went to bed early cuz she had period cramps.
I can still feel the effects of the NyQuil on my brain. Im thinking of checking into a mental facility because I don’t know what else to do at this point.
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depression
|
I see a lot of reassurance seeking in this sub unfortunately. Wanted to at least put in a couple of words.
First, this shit is tough. No getting around it, only through, unfortunately. I know that accepting uncertainty is hard, but we have to do it. We already do it for all the things we aren’t worried about anyway. Take the same level of acceptance that you have about things that you don’t worry about, and try to apply it to your themes.
Another thing that helped me out was disengaging the thoughts, first emotionally (thanks Zoloft) and then cognitively by stopping rumination. Still working on the second one everyday.
You got this folks, keep plugging away.
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OCD
|
I always had a fetish for fat girls and got into feederism though I always found that weird. However I always had doubts about that and always questioned myself if I like them because I want to be secretly fat so I started doubting that and started to check the opposite stuff when a man is fattened and there was one story in the pov of a very dominant woman that felt arousing and after read that for a few times I got a boner but I was extremely anxious and it felt like rape. That basically started this particular obsession. I compulsively started checking other stories and pictures in the pov of the male but I never got any groinal response. However I got dreams where I either see others act out this and one time I was even trapped and raped in the body of an immobile man and woke up with an erection but had a total panic attack. I got to see a therapist and after I told him my lifestory and this problem said that he saw ocd which temporarily relieved me but the thoughts and images still flow around and it feels like denial since I already had this fetish just in the opposite way now these thoughts are extremely egodystonic since I always wanted to be slim and fit.
So yeah dont give reassurance if you dont want to but I feel like I need to kill myself.
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OCD
|
But I forgot my password...:/
Any help/advice on moving on or recovering my password?
|
OCD
|
I got invited a week ago to watch a livestream of a celebrity I really like that would otherwise cost quite a bit for me to watch. Now with about 5 days to go, I'm unvited because one of them has something unexpected in the evening and it would stress them out to also host me, but the livestream is from noon to 2pm. I'm sure they aren't dishonest, but it didn't help to second guess myself when I was already feeling f*cked up with my family creating more issues for me just 5 minutes before that text. I just feel pretty bad because I haven't been able to do much this past month and suffer insomnia and was fixing my sleep schedule just to be there on time next week so I can take the train in the morning after cycling there for 5km. It was the only thing I was currently looking forward to as I'll most likely spend Christmas on my own and limited opportunities because of my village and covid makes everything worse. To make matters worse I also was trying to suggest doing some stuff on the weekend or maybe next weekend as well since they don't celebrate Christmas and most likely would be free. But I then awkwardly tried suggesting to do something on Saturday and just see the blue ticks pop up 5 hours later with no response. I also got rejected by my dream college and watched my crush that I met there only respond okay to me asking him out and then watching him ghost me when I finally had the courage to try and catch up with him over text after he left to go back to his country. The fact that my family later decided to rub the rejection part in my face when I worked so hard is causing the relationship to break so hard that it's getting close to the point of no return and I just want to escape, but at the same time have no income flowing because of mental health. Being uninvited despite no ill intentions, felt like a big blow at this exact moment and made me cry a bit again for the first time in a while.
It all feels so bad, big F
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depression
|
I have asperger and a couple of months ago I went through a traumatic experience (violence) I’ll skip the details. I don’t for know for you guys but that experience kind of killed my empathy and during that time I was more able to identify (narcissists, sociopaths, ect). After therapy I’m back to my usual self how do you guys identify these types of people? I feel really vulnerable and I want to change that.
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aspergers
|
You can't speak, you can't concentrate, you can't do anything when there is too much noise. Like people talking too loud just next to you or a machine (anything you want) running too loud...
I'm actually typing this post in a break room in my highschool, people are talking too damn loud and I just can't concentrate, find the right words to express how I feel, all is confused in my head...
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aspergers
|
My partner and I were together for four years. I was diagnosed as ADHD inattentive at the age of 20, and have undergone therapy for years as well as medication. My partner recently got diagnosed this year at the age of 47. Prior to this last three months we have been going strong and working towards a future together. He has been going through a lot recently trying to begin a second act after losing his job. And I have had a lot of issues with my health and my job security. My partner kept beating himself up over his feelings of inadequacy and chronic overwhelmed. I continued to remind him that he is enough for me and to be open about how he felt as well as recognizing the highs and lows of life. He is now saying he doesn't have the energy to deal with everything. My ADHD reaction is to pour my heart out and basically hyper-fixate. How do I get him to realize that what he is feeling is textbook ADHD overload? That it is simply because things are just hard and not because things aren't good.
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ADHD
|
Link https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/mrf6bb/venting_about_my_break_up_but_also_seeking/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Also, please read the comments. They are more detailed than the post
Please don't hate me. I know what I did is wrong but I've been suffering from this for almost a year... I need a friend...
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OCD
|
I crawled out my car with a laceration to my upper eyelid. That’s it. My car is totaled. I really wish I could have died today in that car accident.
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depression
|
I have ADHD pretty bad. I am quite high on the hyperactive spectrum of it. I currently take adderal but at the most I will take 15mg a day because I crash way to hard. I have 10mg XR and 5mg IR and sometimes I will take just one 5mg or even ill split it and take 2.5 two to four times a day.. Sometimes I take the 10mg XR and 5 hours later take the 5mg IR. It helps me so much but I'm constantly dehydrated. I crash so hard I hate it..
I don't want off labels like wellbutrin or strattera. Wellbutrin did not help me. I am to high on the spectrum. I need a stimulant.
My questions is which ADHD stimulant has the least side effects? I've yet to try vyvanse.
I think it's the nonrephine that makes me crash so hard. If I could have something that released mostly dopamine and a little nonrnephrine that work the best maybe?
I have no idea how people take like 30mg of the stuff.
I took a 20ng XR adderal and crash Sooo hard. It kicked me wat out of the theruptic range.
So lower doses I have to do.
What do you guys think?
Which stimulant medication for ADHD would have least side effects.
I do need motivation, something to help correct my judgment, and focus.
Vyvanse?
Something else?
Thanks guys for your advice!
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ADHD
|
I (16M) am 99% sure I have ADHD, and to get diagnosed I have to talk to my mom about it.
My step sister got diagnosed with ADHD about half a year ago, and after she got her diagnosis my mom made sure to tell everyone in our close family.
If I wanna get diagnosed, I have to do it through her, and I'm sure she'd tell everyone as soon as I "came out". I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone looking at me differently because of it, so I haven't told her yet.
I'm also scared of getting invalidated by my mom because my step sister struggled more with it prior to her diagnosis. My sister (different person) has also been struggling a lot mentally recently, so everyones top priority is making sure she gets proper help.
I'm smart enough to get above average grades, and I go to one of the best high schools in my city, yet I never study and I struggle with paying attention ([This](https://imgur.com/a/aatJkbn) is what I do in class).
It's starting to take a toll on me, and my grades are slowly declining, but the fear of being invalidated is keeping me from doing anything about it :(
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ADHD
|
While completing homework I came across a video that made some sense. We form an image of ourselves not only from our own knowledge, but by our beliefs of how we are being perceived by others. To put it in 3 steps it would be:
1. How do I appear to others?
2. What must they think of me?
3. (revise how we think about ourselves) develop feelings of ourselves based on our impressions of their impressions and evaluations of us
It would be important to know that we are not being influenced by the opinions of others, but what we imagine the opinions of other people to be. So we develop ideas of ourselves based on correct and incorrect perceptions of what we think other people think about us.
[**https://youtu.be/bU0BQUa11ek**](https://youtu.be/bU0BQUa11ek)
In Japan they have a similar diagnosis to ASD with two hallmarks:
1. Fear of embarrassing oneself and
2. fear of offending others
For me those are two huge concerns. That and misreading social situations makes me think people think all kinds of things about me.
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aspergers
|
Hi everyone. Recently, I've come to the realization that I may have ADHD, or at least am experiencing some of the symptoms but I'm also beginning to doubt myself wondering if I'm just making myself think that I am. I've taken several of those tests online and most if not all have turned back with the possibility of ADD/ADHD. I also feel like it provides an explanation for a bunch of things in my life, but I'm also afraid that maybe I'm making it up or that if I talk to my GP about it that I may be told that I'm fine, even though I feel like something's not right. Some things that I've been experiencing for years are:
* Often running late because I overestimate the amount of time I have to spare
* Whenever I leave my house, about 90% of the time I end up going back inside because I forgot something, or think I did
* I'm unable to just sit down and study. I actually don't recall having studied much throughout my school years. I would just coast by with what I did remember or picked up on and would pass all of my classes that way. Lately I've been studying for a certification exam approaching in a few days and it feels like it's impossible to sit down and really study without ending up on youtube, or social media, or playing video games
* Speaking of video games: Growing up I had a phase where I was addicted to video games. To the point that I would forget to eat and would in turn get scolded by my parents, but to their defense, I was underweight for a while.
* Spans of time where I'm really into a video game so I'll log on right after work without fail, play for hours and lose track of time, thus forgetting to eat, putting off using the bathroom for hours because I don't want to stop doing whatever I'm doing. Conversely, other times I completely lack motivation to partake in any of my hobbies.
* Spending hours upon hours researching something I'm interested in. ie. recently bought a new computer and watched a ton of reviews prior to and after purchasing it. To the point where I would stay up for hours even when I had to go to school or work just to continue researching or watching videos.
* Being asked by my SO to do something and forgetting soon after, or not following instructions.
* General forgetfulness
* Oversharing. Sometimes I feel like I share too much and I can't help it. There's times when I tell myself that I'll keep something to myself and end up talking about it to my coworkers. About all kinds of things going on in my life or what I'm thinking, what I want to do, etc.
* Procrastinator for as long as I can remember
And that's all off the top of my head right now. I realize this may not all make sense or have anything to do with ADHD or mental illness but I'd appreciate anyone's input, and I'm sorry if something in here doesn't make sense. Thank you.
edit: I also don't want to come across like I'm actively trying to seem like I have ADHD. These are things I've been experiencing for years and convinced myself that I was just bad with time management, or lazy, or not applied enough to study, or irresponsible for forgetting important things.
|
ADHD
|
So much I need to do but I just can’t stop sleeping, dreaming. No matter the dream it’s always better than my waking life. I’ve come to enjoy nightmares too because I feel something. Im living my life in my bed. I can’t leave. I hate my phone. I’m slowly watching my life pass me by. I hate the person I’ve become.
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depression
|
It sucks. I've started school again, first time after starting antidepressants and seeing a psychologist, working towards a diag.
In most classes I'm doing great. In my whole life I've never been able to do as much homework without feeling horrid. I have people who help me with it.
But I am terrified of my math teacher, and I'm also just really bad at math- I get into math class and my brain completely turns off. I can't even really cheat because my understanding of what we're doing is so minimal.
Last year of school it was math + sciences that sunk me into a really really deep depression and also made me unable to work in all my other classes. I'm worried thats happening again.
The most frustrating is that bcs I'm scared of my teacher I can't bring myself to ask anything, and my brain shuts off and I'm completely unable to focus as soon as her class starts.
I'm just. Very lost.
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone, This may be a long shot but any advice is appreciated. I received an ADHD diagnosis from the Possibilities Clinic last March. Although I would prefer to work with them, they discharged me back to my family doctor to find a medication/dose that works.
Unfortunately, I don't have a good therapeutic relationship with my family doctor. I tried to find another one, but this proved to be difficult as not many doctors are currently accepting patients. I'm wondering if any of your have recommendations for supportive family doctors that I could reach out to in the GTA area. The clinic that diagnosed me has an option for the treating family doctor to have a consultation through OTN with the psychiatrist for guidance. I'm feeling stuck and hopeless, with a diagnosis and no effective medication identified yet.
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ADHD
|
I’m just looking for opinions if switching worked best for you. I know everyone is different but I’m just wondering.
(For reference) I was on 15mg 3x a day of Focalin ir for about 3 months and it was fine but then depression got worse so they took me down to 12.5 but then but concentration got worse. My doctor is now wanting me to try 15mg of Adderall 3x a day.
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone,
Please post a quote that inspired you or kept you going in your OCD recovery journey. Looking for some inspiration today. Thank you!
|
OCD
|
Do any of you do compulsions subconsciously now? When I was younger Id always get thoughts like "if you dont touch that doorknob four times something bad will happen" nowadays I touch the doorknob 4 times subconsciously without going through the thought process I also bend my knee in a certain way while getting out of bed back when i was younger Id do that cuz I believed if I didnt something bad will happen now I do it subconsciously and sometimes when I dont do it subconsciously I do it just because my brain tells me to for example
Brain: touch that doorknob 4 times
Me: no
Then after saying no I feel uncomfortable then touch the doorknob 5 seconds later I feel like Im forced to touch it my mind dosen't even threaten me or say "touch it or else" anymore it just tells me to touch it and If I dont do it ill feel uncomfortable and have an urge to to do it does that also count as magical thinking OCD and can any of you relate?
|
OCD
|
Hi all! Happy to be a part of the group. I’ve been dealing with OCD for as long as I can remember. I’ve been in recovery for the last few years and I’ve made a lot of progress. However, what I noticed recently is that when my anxiety is really high I start to do what I like to call “little rituals”. Nothing long and drawn out like I used to do, but I’m still doing repetitive things. I really think that it’s completely subconscious because I rarely notice that I’m doing it until I catch myself. Some of the things that I do is that I’ll touch the corners of the walls, I’ll tap the bottom of my cup a couple times on the table, I’ll start skin picking or fidgeting with the tips of my fingers until I feel calm. Sometimes I’ll count even numbers in my head when doing these things but not all the time. This all has become a normal form of emotional regulation for me that again, it’s usually something I don’t even realize I’m doing. Is this something that I should be trying to stop? Is this something that is prolonging my recovery? I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Thanks!
|
OCD
|
I’ve noticed in myself that when I’m deep into a shutdown, I often don’t perceive things people say to me, unless they speak to me very directly usually having to get my attention by touching me first.
An example of this is when I was emergency a couple of weeks ago, I was given a sedative and the doctor apparently explained to me that he was doing so and it’s side effects, but I have no recollection of this, I recall the side effects though (I felt like I was drunk).
Now I’m not implying that the doctor didn’t explain to me what he was doing, I just believe that because I was so deep into a panic attack/shutdown that I simply didn’t hear him.
Does this happen to others?
|
aspergers
|
Today has been weird. My memory has been funky. I couldn't remember basic tasks. I forgot how to cook an egg on a pan despite knowing I've done it before, many times. I feel so spacey, and just.. not here. And I keep forgetting things and I just don't want to deal with any of it anymore.
I'm getting paranoid that I'm dying, and I know it's not true. But then I'm also wishing that if I was dying, life could hurry it up because I don't want to deal with this. Every day, it's just going in circles without knowing anything, and having my perception of truth and reality being crushed because who knew some of the shit I experience is side effects of PTSD, anxiety, or depression. Who fucking knew. Not me. I didn't even know I had this shit until I had to literally be put into a mental hospital.
And all of these fucking emotions of just sadness and depression and hopelessness are just suffocating me to the point I feel like everything I'm doing I'm holding my breath. I can't breathe without paralyzing sadness simply affecting me. On days I don't feel anything but these suffocating feelings, I feel better. And those days are the days that I'm doing something 24/7 so I don't have to think or realize my feelings.
I want a break. I can't do this anymore. I can't wake up struggling to get out of bed. I can't wake up scared of everything, and I can't live every fucking day knowing that I might not remember it. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I can't fucking do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of fighting an endless battle with barely any results.
|
depression
|
I recently became 29....i was feeling extremely happy before that...with my appearence with my body. I already had a little depression and panic attacks but due to my university, not due to age.
After reading SO MANY BAD THINGS for women after 30, that they cannot have a child easily after 35, that in 35 you start to see aging signs, that your body after 30 is changing. SO MANY THINGS so many...that noone wants a women after 30...they always prefer a younger one cause WHY NOT.
They have caused me serious depression SERIOUS.........i cannot study i feel my life is gonna end soon !
Guys INTERNET is destroying me !!!!! I was already feeling old cause from my 28 my libido is almost DEAD. So i was already suspicious it was due to aging. Of course when i asked online they told me that libido decreases with age !
I really don't know why people do that.
If i didn't had internet i would be happy now.
What should i do?? Maybe not follow subs with personal stories? But those things are EVERYWHERE...if i read a sub about beauty someone is gonna ask "how she looks so good in her 30?" in ask reddit they ask "old redditors what happened to your life between 29-37"
I should just don't use reddit maybe! I don't know what to do! But they have ALREADY POISON my mind !
|
depression
|
I am both obsessed with and terrified of the places where my trauma happened. The church where most of it occurred is the place I’m most obsessive over, but also the wawa where one abusive ex works and the park where some other trauma happened. I feel like a gravitational pull towards all these places - I’ll change my route to drive past them or participate more in conversations talking about them.
Yet I’m terrified to step foot on the grounds. I can’t bring myself to even sit in the parking lot of any of these places. Thinking about them hurts. I have little to no memory of the trauma in some of these places, it’s mostly blocked.
DAE experience this?
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ptsd
|
Has anyone ever used or had experience with a therapist/life coach specifically to help manage their ADHD?
I am not even sure if this exists.
I'm not talking about a therapist that works with ADHD patients, but someone I can talk to and work with to specifically figure out ways to help me navigate through life with my ADHD.
I take meds and have been diagnosed for over 10 years.
|
ADHD
|
I was going through a very rough time. I got out of a 8 year relationship and lost pretty much everything. I was really down because I was at fault. I had a breakdown at the beginning of the year and was just so overwhelmed. I was grinding my teeth so bad it was straining my back. I started taking meds and working my shit out. I would like to say sorry to this community. There is hope for all of us. Sometimes it takes work or honesty but I believe that most of us with depression are survivors. I have enderd so much to quit now. I am alive today and I am so happy to be here. Some days suck but I feel like a champion when I make it through. We are all people and these are trying times... But just remember all of us are loved even if we don't feel like it. Weather it be family friends or even coworkers all of us will be missed. I encourage anyone reading this to reach out. I did and I was surprised at just how precious and valuable life is. I wish peace for all of you.
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depression
|
Did anyone else grow up not really having any close friends, but now as an adult you really want connection? I’m in my 20s and it’s all I think about sometimes. And like I got so used to masking that I’m afraid to show any personality, but then why would anyone talk to me.
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aspergers
|
I want to be normal again. I don't want it to take me 20 minutes to get out of bed or 2 hours to watch a 24 minutes anime episode. I want to be able to read normally. I want my head to stop hurting literally every second because my brain can't take a break. I feel so useless and hopeless and like a burden and none of my friends understand. My parents are very against medication and therapy doesn't do much.
I am sorry. I just wanted to vent a bit.
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OCD
|
Hi, I'm 21 years old. I'm suffering OCD since I was a kid, but year after year it gets worse. Since I finished high school, OCD and fear started to be important in my life. First, fear of sleeping or not sleeping, then my worse enemy, BREATHING OCD. Begun in May 2019, it's a long story. After 1 year of struggles, in June 2020 I finally beat it. But 2 months ago it came back and worse than ever, all my thoughts are terrible, I'm afraid of thinking of it but I'm afraid too of not thinking of it, it's like I want to be alive thiking in breathing. I just want no not have this anymore, I think sometimes that killiing myself is the solution of this pain, but I don't want to die, I'm afraid of death.
Sorry for my english. I just want to know if someone of you have this and how do you got over this
This is my first post on Reddit, I have a lot more to tell, maybe it's better, what do you think?
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OCD
|
I’m 19 years old, I have been raped sexually assaulted from the age of six have had a very bad home life have had relentless bullying and have had other awful things happen to me my entire life, I’m poor I’m i moved back to my birth place alone from the age of 17 away from old family I have random spouts or deep sadness and hopelessness and suicidal thoughts, I have no money what’s so ever and can’t afford a doctor. I’ll go into more details if needed but I can’t listen to songs that have anything to do with my past even if they have nothing to do with my trauma it pains me to look at old pictures even if they are happy times I can’t look at my old art or drawings because the past is so painful even if they are nothing to do with it. It’s unbearable if I hear certain words it brings me back. I know this isn’t a medical page or anything I need help I feel hopeless this is a last resort I need advice or opinions do you think it’s possible I suffer with ptsd ? I’m saving to go to the doctor I just need insight I feel insane, nobody feels like I do please help me.
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ptsd
|
Ok im 13 and my cousin is like 9 or 10 and when i think of her or she passes by i get a boner that i dont want like i just sometimes dont get it and im not aroused by her and when i dont think of her i dont have it the boner goes away i dont want to touch her or anything i have a crush on a girl my age and idfc about others and i dont want to touch kids nor do anything with them please am i a pedo ive been having thoughts that im a pedo for like 5 months now not just for this but for other things that i will talk about again in another post
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OCD
|
So I got this app called Habit and it was great for a while but I’ve noticed now I forget to use it to check off what I do and don’t get done in my day. Some days I don’t even bother opening the app but knowing people can see if I’m brushing my teeth or not I think will make me actually do it and check it off too so I’m gonna share my link in the comment so you guys can if I’m doing my tasks
Feel free to share your links too and we can keep each other accountable together :)
|
ADHD
|
A couple of years ago, my fiancé was sexually assaulted two times--once by a stranger and another time by a former close friend of hers. I don't want to divulge too many of the details of her experience, but lately I've been fixating on both events. I picture what could have happened, how it made her feel, etc. It makes me so angry, sad, and helpless. I've gotten fairly good at handling my other triggers (with slip ups of course) but this one seems to rear its head at least once a month, typically for a couple of days before I can move past it.
I just wanted to get this off my chest, especially because I feel uncomfortable talking to her about it. Although we have discussed her traumatic experiences extensively in the past, I don't want to trigger her by mentioning such painful memories each time I get anxious. I really appreciate all of you being here, and r/OCD means a lot to me.
I think a lot of people with OCD can relate to the idea that when you first start developing symptoms, it can be so isolating. It is cathartic opening up reddit and seeing thousands of other people who share my experience. Thank you.
I hope you are all happy and healthy.
|
OCD
|
i am new to this sub however i have general knowledge of how ptsd works.
i do want to ask how it relates to past environments.
​
for example ive had some issues with the current car im driving with being pulled over. even driving with suspended registration due to insurance lapse (long story). i would drive around with fear/anxiety hoping i wouldnt get pulled over.
even though i have resolved the issue now. by registering it out of state. i still get negative feelings when driving.
is this normal? can this be resolved?
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ptsd
|
As in, presume Z is diagnosed with X, and then Y tells him that he actually doesn't have X, but Z has developed an identity around X, and now he's in distress because he can only understand himself through the label that has been applied to him, which leads to an internal crisis and overall silly loop. Presume we weren't using labels, and everyone would simply just live life, going about their day, whilst ACTUALLY trying to understand each other, and respect one another. I'm not saying the classifications are flawed, or that the goal of psychology in itself is misdirected, but that you have to understand human behavior, and how the things you tell humans impact them. I've observed this behavior in multiple threads, here.
For easier reading I've used the generalization "he". Sorry for any inconvenience.
The idea centers around that your innate human nature is already set in stone by the time you're born, knowing that you're an Aspie, because someone confirms it , has actually little impact on you, unless you imagine its relevance, because you can now actually behave in an unrestricted manner, and you don't have to rely on mimicry going through life onwards.
Am I suggesting that psychologists should deny the classification to their patients?: Yes.
|
aspergers
|
Hello. I have Kaiser Permanente Insurance and my SO (M30s) has ADHD. He was diagnosed as a child, but never took medication. He tried some Medication months ago from a friend that was a doctor who just wrote him a referral of medication my SO thought would help him. It ended up making his stomach hurt incredibly bad and making him irrationally angry and because of this, has sweared off medication.
Now that my county provides health insurance, I was wondering if they can help my SO be on better medication that could help him or even just groups or therapeutic sessions for him?
I would love some advice and help!
|
ADHD
|
Hi All, just wanted to see how you are doing? Struggling today after getting some triggering news. So frustrated as I felt like I was making progress with my therapy. Currently feel like a leaky boat and each time I plug a hole I find another and another 😟
|
ptsd
|
The last 6 months or so I've been getting these reoccurring thoughts that I don't hang out with my friends enough (which I know is not true) and because of it I'm going to lose them. I would then react by getting out a calendar and going over all the days I hung out with them over the last couple months. This happens multiple times a day. I'm just a little confused as I can't seem to find anyone that can relate. Is this my OCD or something else.
|
OCD
|
So I have been having thoughts like "What is this?". Thought that questions what is reality, like literally what is this and everything. Its like I have my body, and my thoughts that are disconnected from my body. Its like viewing everything from third person kinda. It feels weird and I wonder if this is maybe pure-o, or am I going crazy?
|
OCD
|
So I’m a 23F and am currently working as a housekeeper working full time and I still live at home with my parents. This coming spring I’m going back to college after dropping out earlier this year due to the stress of going to college during when the pandemic. I’m planning on majoring in Speech Therapy, but I have some fears about going back to college that I need to get off my chest. My ocd makes me think illogically almost all the time and I feel like I can’t trust my own instincts and judgment because of it. Being a speech therapist clients are going to be relying on your judgment for almost everything. I’m scared I won’t make it in the field because of my thinking and it makes me suicidal as well. I take medication, but medication has never been 100% effective for me, no matter what I’ve tried. I feel like killing myself over this and I don’t know what to do.
|
OCD
|
Is getting frustrated by tangential conversation a trait of autism spectrum personalities?
For example: if two people begin talking about math to pass the time, and then one of them starts talking about cooking like "I remember 7x4 is 21 because that's how many cups of sugar I put in my cookie dough. Do you like cookies?". If a person got frustrated by the topic changing, and curtly demands resuming discussion of math, then would that be something someone with an autism spectrum personality might do?
|
aspergers
|
Although i'm not yet officially diagnosed, I'm on the waiting list. My symptoms meet the critera for diagnosis. I score very highly on the AQ test for autistic traits. My doctor is quite sure I must have it and has referred me to be assessed.
I also have subclinical hypothyroidism, which I've had since my early 20's. It's supposed to be extremely unusual for males to become hypothyroid, especially young males. My TSH is usually around 7 or 8 but and sometimes goes up to 10. I was diagnosed almost two decades ago and my condition hasn't worsened at all. I've been tested for hashimotos, negative. The cause of my raised TSH is a mystery and thyroxine doesn't seem to make any difference.
I've seen some claims online that there might be a connection. Does anyone here have both aspergers and subclinical hypothyroidism.
For anyone who doesn't know, subclinical hypothyroidism is a bit of a mystery illness. Doctors can't decide if it should be treated. The cause is often not able to be identified, such has been my experience.
|
aspergers
|
Good grief, it's a joke. I'm doing assignments less than an hour before they're due at night, which is shitty, but hey, I'm getting them done sometimes. So not the worst thing in the world.
But I just want to practice writing. I WANT to. I really want to. It's an obsession. But I can't. I could, but I can't. And it's not like I have some deficit in gibberish I could write. I've written one short screenplay, and it was for when I convinced my teachers to let me write a short script instead of a short film, but I haven't touched it once since then.
Pair that with my being so bored I just sink away whenever I'm not with other people. Yay. Very fun.
Any advice (that doesn't start with the word 'just')?
|
ADHD
|
Last week someone at my firm whom I really trusted completely betrayed me. Despite working closely with me, and us being a great team for years, and me always praising them and trusting them, I recently found out she was going to other firm members behind my back and telling them I hated her. She also went to our department chief and had all my plans and projects cancelled and changed to hers.
After being humiliated and having all my years of work cancelled, she then came to me and asked me what we should do moving forward, as if she hadn’t thought anything out at all, and after throwing me under every bus imaginable then wanted me to figure out what to do next.
I’m am so beyond frustrated and hurt that someone could manipulate another person so cruelly, and I feel like an absolute idiot that I didn’t see I was being buttered up and twisted, only to be stabbed in the back.
I don’t understand how people can act this way, and sometimes it makes me happy that I’m ND, since I can’t possibly understand how someone could be this horrible.
|
aspergers
|
This has probably been recommended before but The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk is a great book. Really put things into perspective and everything started to make sense. Hope this helps someone else heal 💗
Update: thank you everyone for your recommendations! I love this energy we are all healing!
|
ptsd
|
I don't know if I can post this here but I feel like I need to tell someone
I don't know if I'm the only one but does anybody else gets totally distracted during s3x? Like I have the most amazing boyfriend and he cares about my pleasure but sometimes I just can't focus on it?
I try to close my eyes to not get distracted by anything visual but then my thoughts start running around...
It kinda takes away the fun
Maybe someone experienced that before and has a Tip?
|
ADHD
|
So I'm still undiagnosed but becoming increasingly sure that I have some sort of ocd. I have a lot but not all of the symptoms associated, and I have friends with ocd who have had similar experiences to me. But I'm still not sure, and I keep trying to go back and look at memories associated with my various themes that I think may be ocd from before ocd was even on my radar. I keep trying to figure out whether these moments were just ocd related happenings that I was unaware of or whether those things I experienced were actually me and now I'm trying to justify them by saying they're mental illness things. Has anyone else experienced this?
|
OCD
|
To be honest I dont even have much friends, Im loner, and something inside telling me that I should just end every communication with everyone and be alone.
|
depression
|
Hey guys. Firstly im sorry for my broken English. Its not my native language.
I want to share my story with you. It may help some of you. Also you can help me with your precious advices.
Im 30 years old male. I've had depression, obsessive disorder, ptsd and anxiety since childhood. These ruin my life. Last year i broke up with my 9 year old relationship because of my problems. Also im stuck about my career because i have social anxiety. And my physical health effected a lot too.
I spent a year to recover myself after my relationship ended. After some time i've started to feel alive slowly. 4 months ago, i went to a party with my friends and took some mdma pills. Everything started that day.
Maybe some of you know the feeling the day after mdma. I was so depressive and started to feel guilty about my ex. It was not something like pain of love. I felt like she is dead because of me. It got worse and worse for days. I had muscle pain in my all body and couldnt sleep for 2 days. At last night i was like crazy. I paced at home all night and tried to escape from this thinking: she is dead. I had sweat, high heart rate and shaking too.
At morning i wanted to check online that what is going on with me. I realized that i have ptsd first time. Before that i didnt know that sickness i have. I knew that i had depression and anxiety because of my mother. My mother attempted to suicide many times when i was child. I was the one who try to help her every time she attempted. I was 8 years old.
Then i've remembered some old memories from my childhood. Like flashbacks. As i searched the ptsd, i realized that is the reason for everything i felt guilt all my life. I realized that i put my girlfriend in my mother's shoes. I lay on my bed and start to think about my life. I tried to think good things about myself to calm down. I was feeling better.
I dont know about you but i felt like hypnotized all my life. After an hour sun was shining. I got up. I was feeling like totally free first time in my life. It was amazing. I just learned about ptsd and i was like fully healthy. The day was brighter. I had full of positive feelings about me. I was feeling like myself first time in my life.
I decided to take a shower. The water felt a little bit hot at first. I turned it into cold a bit. Then a bit more and more... I didnt get cold even. It was strange. I used to take hot shower. But this time i was feeling so relax and i thought getting cold is half fear...
I took a notebook with me and threw myself out of home. The weather was nice and i was feeling superb. Guys, i was like enlightened. I went a place to eat breakfast. There was no any social phobia at all. I was feeling light and smiling all the time. Called one of my friend and started to talk about the night. He said ur voice sounds different too. I was so focus and positive. My breathing was deep and all muscles were relax. I was laughing to things that i stressed about before. The most important thing that i was feeling complete. I was comfortable thinking about the future. My self confidence was high. I was feeling mature. I took notes to do about my life. I was like newborn. lol.
Before that i was definitely materialist guy. I didnt know anything about spiritualism. But it was different. I felt deep connection with people around. I was looking the people like some of them suffering and wanted to talk them. I thought im seeing my real self first time and note it. My all fears has gone. I was calm and peaceful.
The night i slept early. I was exciting about the day after. I was feeling healthy. I woke up early morning and took shower. Generally i dont wake up easliy. I hate my life lol. Anyway. It was same! I wasnt getting cold. I called some of my relatives. First time i've spoken to them intimate and close. I made plans about the future days. I decided to change my life on some ways. I had only one problem. If my ex-gf saw me like this, she would return me. Guys i was still loving her.
I decided to write her. It was a stupid idea. I sent her an email and learned that she is engaged.
Guys. Everything came back. Like in a moment. I was same old me as concept. I felt all depression in my body. My all fears came back. My breath got shorter. I detached from the moment. I detached from myself. It was 2 days journey.
I have started read about my experience since. I read a lot of spiritual books like Zen, Buddhism etc. I found Eckhart Tolle. The guy who had experience as me.
They say if you get enlightened you cant go back. But its not like this. I know im precious and life is all miraculous. But the problem is i dont feel it deeply. I know that there is no reason to be anxious about people but i cant change my body respond. I don't feel confidence. I dont feel everything is ok inside me. After months i realized that was not a spiritual experience.
I found an article about memory re-consolidation. I believe most of you already know it. Also you can find a lot of online material easily. Shortly, you must remember the traumatic story and feelings. It makes the old memory labile. So you can change the feelings about your story. But there is one important point. Long time memory needs time to make these new memory traces stabile in your brain. The process was same as i did. I felt the all things deeply after my mdma experience and changed them. I guess i disturbed the process at second day.
Nowadays i feel so depressed and anxious about everything. Im not happy at all. Its harder than before. I saw my best version once and hate these pessimistic feelings more. But i wanted to share my story with you because memory re-consolidation can help you some way. Its magical. It can be hope for you. I like the lyric; ''this is not us, this is what is left from us''
Thank you for reading. Its good to share. You can share your advices too. I want to try microdose lsd or psilocybin. What is your opinions about it?
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ptsd
|
Throughout my life it seems I turn to caffeine, booze etc to deal with difficult emotions. What are people's better ways of processing them?
|
depression
|
I'm so tired that I'm always getting angry/anxious/sad about minor things, making myself ridiculous.
Hating the whole world and then hating myself for overreacting for anything that doesn't go in my way.
I can control my behaviors around my friends sometimes when I'm frustrated because I love them, with my coworkers because I have no choice. But I'm feeling like something's burning me on the inside, I feel the tears attacking my eyelids like sharp needles. With strangers, I can get so mad, like I'm out of my body.
I wish I was like all those "" "normal" "" people who are annoyed but don't scream and cry because it's no big deal. They may blow air out of their mouth and raise their eyebrows but that's it. "it is what it is" is the sentence that makes me even angrier. How is life when frustration feels bearable?
I wish people who say "it is was it is" could have a one-week free trial of 1000% EMOTIONS. Let's see how they control this.
I'm a 24yo child and life is unfair. That's unfair that some people suffer and are asked to act like their disability doesn't exist. I'm trying hard to not be toxic and stuff. I feel like I'm retaining 80% of the shit tide, but it's never enough. I'm exhausted. I'm poor. I constantly feel like shit. Sometimes I just wanna jump from a cliff to REST.
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ADHD
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I am a girl on the spectrum with a very odd voice (asked if I was sick, sad, on the spectrum, etc because of it). I also stutter sometimes and am a slow talker. Is it okay to just be quiet and maybe use a text to speech app? I am tired of being bullied or not being able to think while speaking
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aspergers
|
1. Can OCD bring up past memories which basically say that your current obession is real?
2. Can ocd make you feel like youre actually in Denial of being your current obession?
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OCD
|
In elementary school my parents yelled at me so often to finish my homework, that the question “Have you finished your homework” triggers me into rage. Nothing ever gets done unless I’m having anxiety about a time limit, so the only way anything ever gets done is if I’m torturing myself mentally. Now I’m in college and whenever I hear people self diagnose themselves with ADHD casually, it makes me want to throw their head into a wall. My entire life feels like a jigsaw puzzle that’s being rushed and also judged for quality, sometimes I can’t sleep for three days because I can’t stop thinking about all the things I have to do. My coping mechanisms are hitting myself in the face, meth disguised as medication, and denying that my brain is broken
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ADHD
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Has anyone here found a way to help them to give and maintain eye contact. It takes so much effort for me to give eye contact i struggle to take in what someone is saying when they are talking to me.
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aspergers
|
I'm not asking for medical advice, but just looking for people's thoughts and experiences out of curiosity because of my own recent experiences.
​
I took Concerta 18 mg + ritalin 10 mg in the afternoon for 6 months. It changed my life, and I stopped feeling like a total mess. But two months ago I started feeling depressed (lethargic, crying) and my psychiatrist decided that I should stop meds. She figured that I had been given a slightly too high dose.
The next day my depressive symptoms completely disappeared. But I still feel calm and organized - and I never felt like this for longer periods of time before starting meds last spring. Every day I have been waiting for the crash to come, but in a way I still feel medicated.
Have any of you experienced something like this before? I expect that I will go back to my "old normal" eventually, but could I just be riding on new brain connections for now or what's happening? I never felt normal like this without meds
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ADHD
|
I got out of the hospital yesterday morning. They took me off Effexor and put me on Prozac 40mg. I was on Effexor for nearly 7 years I’ve always been great at taking my meds but shit happens and the withdrawals of Effexor were too much.
I don’t want to eat and I’ve just been aimlessly walking around my house all day. My dad helped me put up my Christmas tree yesterday and I want to decorate it but idk. My anxiety is high but I feel numb at the same time if that makes sense? I was ok over the weekend and Monday morning at the hospital but now just feel… idk, numb and anxious. I’m not suicidal and want to live. I think I’m also processing the trauma of being in the hospital for a week. I had a couple wonderful psych nurses but most of the staff seemed to be burnt out to where they were on the level of nurse Ratchet (one flew of the coocoos nest)
Any encouragement that it will be better in a couple weeks is highly appreciated. That the Prozac just needs time to kick in. Maybe I just need to force myself into opposite action, but it’s so hard right now.
Thank you
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depression
|
I didn’t have anyone else to tell, so I came on here. Last night, I did something that I never have before and I never thought would be this hard. However. I’ve been suffering for years and it is what it is. I clicked “yes” when a job application asked if I had a disability. The background is that my PTSD started due to a job that I finally left last month because I just couldn’t do it anymore for my own health. This is my first time looking for a new job in 8 years. I literally cried when the disabilities survey came up in the application. I feel better now that I did, but I guess this is just something else that I’ll have to learn to live with..
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ptsd
|
I’ve had some enamel wear down or whatever to the point where my teeth are extremely sensitive to temperatures and sweets, and a lot of hard foods and textures, and during my last checkup, they determined I had no cavities, but rather too much tooth grinding. I have a nightguard from a while ago and tonight I’m wearing it again for the first time in ages. It’s so uncomfortable, it feels gross to close my mouth (currently typing this while my mouth is awkwardly open) and I hate the feeling of taking it off in the morning. Anyone else go through the same?
Edit to add: when I got my nightguard a while ago, it was because i would grind my teeth and clench during the daytime due to test anxieties and a lot of academic related stress. After my accident I’ve been having lots of nightmares where I jerk awake, even after starting prazosin.
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ptsd
|
I have reason to beleive I have asperger's. No Diagnostic(it is very hard to get for adults in Quebec, Canada). I cannot however wrap my mind on what it means to have this condition. Can youguys explain? What are the important things to know? Thank you.
|
aspergers
|
Hey.
So not so long ago I got high for the first time ever and it was a very bad high to the point where I felt like I was dying. Thought I was having a stroke, lost a lot of time and at some point had hallucinations. However. Since then, almost every night or every other night I've been having very vivid dreams of that night and still being stuck in that horrible high and have been waking up nearly, sometimes waking up to, a panic attack. Not only that but just being in the room where I was high in has been increasing my anxiety and making me anxious. I don't know if these are actual symptoms of possible PTSD or just general anxiety from a traumatic experience.
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ptsd
|
After a day of taking my adhd medication (I have been on pretty much all of them at this point) I have a comedown that is really hard to deal with. I’ve found drinking beer helps with it but I really don’t want to make this a part of my regular routine. I was wondering how other people deal with medication comedowns ?
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ADHD
|
On Tuesday, I get to go see my therapist again, he's gonna love hearing this.
I stayed up until past 2300 took my sleeping meds, STILL woke up wide awake at 0300. It's always the same time. I only get those 4 or 5 hours because it's drug induced.
My incident occurred around 0300, so he says that my brain in scared with that time as being "unsafe". The more I go on, the less sleep I'm getting.
I have to stop here, my brain is flickering and I've wrote about 6 random sentences that I had to erase as i typed this.
/rantover
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ptsd
|
TLDR AT END.
But I would appreciate the read.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but it is related somewhat.
I am a 16 year old grade 12 student in Alberta, Canada. Due to my poor attention and executive functioning, my grades have suffered. In 11th grade, my total average was 55% (below 50 is failing). I failed a few classes, but managed a passing grade in overall. This year it is worse. I am currently failing math and chemistry, and barely trudging along with English.
For example, we had 2 weeks to read up to part 1 (100 average-density pages) in the book Educated. After the two weeks, we were assigned questions about the book so far. I got a 0 on that assignment because I had only read to chapter 2.
I used to be a very avid reader but now, when I sit down to try to read a book, especially one that is boring like the one we are reading, I blank out. I locked myself in my undeveloped basement with nothing but a table, chair and the book. I still couldn't read. My mind blanked, and I ended up staring at the page for long periods of time, daydreaming and thinking about completely unrelated things. Attempting to draw my attention to the book is like pulling my teeth.
I have my second psychiatric appointment on November 23rd about a potential ADHD diagnoses. My psychiatrist and family doctor think I am very likely to have ADHD inattentive, but need a second appointment for confirmation. My parents don't believe in ADHD and don't want to give me any medicine.
I am trying everything to do good in school, but simply can't. I get good sleep, I work out 5 times a week, I eat well and I use every focus/study strategy out there but nothing helps. I will not acquire enough credits to pass class 12. I brought up the idea of dropping out, since it is no use going to school and getting suicidal thoughts because of my class work. They agreed and we are currently in the process of dropping me out. My IEP is not nearly enough for me. We have tried to get them to further the accomodations but the school says this is the most they can do at a grade 12 level.
I plan on getting my GED asap. The minimum age in Alberta to get one is 18. Then, I want to attend a community college to complete my nursing prerequisites and get a BSN. When I turn 18, I plan on persuing a potential diagnoses and treatment myself, since I will be of legal age. Between now and then, I will have a simple job at Sobeys saving up as much money as I can.
TLDR; Due to some severe ADHD symptoms, I cannot finish high school and am dropping out. I have a psychiatric appointment next month but parents don't want me on meds. I have tried everything to control symptoms but nothing works. Will get my GED and potential diagnoses/treatment myself when I turn 18
Anything else I need to consider? Any general advice? Am I missing something? Thank you for your time.
|
ADHD
|
Hey guys, I just have a quick question.
Is it possible to feel REAL physical symptoms when you have OCD?
For example, I read an article, and after I read that I've had symptoms for days..
I don't know if I'm losing it or something is actually up, or if I'm focusing on it and creating the issue!
I just want to feel heard is all.
|
OCD
|
I have a bad habit of buying food and basically forgetting to eat it until it eventually expires. I usually eat quick meals because, of course, they take minimal effort. Has anyone got any tips to help this? I usually try to buy healthy things, like eggs, fish, etc but almost never eat it because I forgot that I bought it/ put it off and say "ill eat it later". It's just a huge waste of money and I wanna get out of that habit.
|
ADHD
|
Hey fellow ADHD peeps, I was thinking about my ADHD traits earlier and was wondering if anyone else encountered the same thing.
One thing I struggle with is impostor syndrome, and it’s mainly with my ADHD - I struggle with thoughts of feeling like I’m “faking” having it, and that I’m subtly lazy. I’ll feel like things I’ve achieved through hard work are things I haven’t really earned, but have gotten lucky with achieving. Even when I am prescribed medication/am taking it, I feel as if the positive side effects are something anyone who would take it would feel, and the traits I have with my ADHD are super normal, non-ADHD things. Has anyone experienced this as well?
I’ve tried to research and see if there was any correlation and it seems to be sorta common, so wanted to see if anyone had any personal experiences with it.
|
ADHD
|
i wont go into details, but ive recently been having a lot of trouble managing my ptsd and new symptoms keep popping up out of nowhere. it started with me feeling sick/having panic attacks when i would see my twin sister and her boyfriend being touchy and doing pda and stuff, which is impossible to avoid because he’s constantly at our house and she’s always following him around at school. and trust me, its not a normal amount of pda, i can handle it in my friend’s relationships because they respect my boundaries and are aware of their surroundings, but my sister cant keep her hands to herself literally ever and it makes everyone uncomfortable. ive told both of them how their pda makes me feel bad a few times, but only mentioned my trauma once. they said theyre sorry and theyll work on it, but it definitely didn’t make them take me anymore seriously because absolutely nothing has changed since i first told them a few months ago. i keep reminding them, even if it’s just an uncomfortable look or interrupting them when i hear them doing stuff, but it seriously makes me want to cry and throw up everywhere.
it’s evolved into a deep resentment for the both of them, mostly my sister because im forced to be around her at all times. i found something gross in her car and accidentally walked in on them and i think since then i haven’t been able to even look at her without feeling disgusting.
is it okay for me to tell them that their pda makes me uncomfortable because of my ptsd? ive been trying for so long, even attempting to get my mom involved, but i just don’t know what to do anymore. nothing makes them listen, which is another huge trigger for me. it’s getting really bad and i want to be able to eat dinner or go to school with my sister without having panic attacks. yes im in therapy, but nothing ive tried has been working and i cant take this anymore.
|
ptsd
|
I'm sad, depressed and frustrated. My life is painful and I want to kill myself. I'm sad about it, a life that I want to end but I can't. Can someone help me finding a way to kill myself. I'm unable to find a gun, a rope. Nothing, I don't wanna live with only this objective.
I swear to god if someone could give me something to kill myself I would appreciate it.
Srsly, the only thing that helps are my dogs.
Probably the only reason why I wanna die with no pain ND not stab myself in the throat.
|
depression
|
**TL;DR** There is something called alexithymia that describes a person's difficulty with identifying the emotions of themselves and other people. This often makes them appear cold/distant. Fortunately, it's entirely treatable!
Recently I came across this lecture, ["How to Unsuppress Emotions"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70669ZJdmWg), and it really resonated with me and maybe it'll resonate for many of you as well. From this video I learned about alexithymia: an inability to identify and describe the emotions experienced by one's self as well as the emotions experienced by others (empathy).
This kind of emotional suppression most often arises during our developmental years, and is caused by:
* Trauma (e.g. bullied, childhood abuse/neglect) as an adaptive/protective mechanism. If a child lacks a guardian or parent in their lives that make them feel supported, loved, and generally good about themselves, the child will start suppressing their emotions because they don't want to feel like shit anymore. They also don't know how to healthily deal with their emotions.
* You hear a lot about how much "potential" you have or "how capable you are", which makes you feel scared and ashamed that you can't live up to these expectations.
* The parents can be loving and supportive, but it's not a substitute for emotional competence.
* Culture. It's frowned upon for men to be "emotional" and "vulnerable", and in some cultures familial love may not be as well expressed (Asian families). It's not uncommon for children to go their entire lives without ever hearing their parents tell them they were loved, even if they could feel that love.
I feel like many people with ADHD will have grown up in an environment that has these components, especially because of how predisposed we are to emotional dysregulation and our perceived "incompetence" when we grow up not knowing we have ADHD.
People suffering from alexithymia will usually describe their emotions using physical language, e.g.
* "a kick to the nuts"
* "a pit in my stomach"
* "my chest feels tight"
Or they may use umbrella terms:
* stressed
* frustrated
* overwhelmed
* anxious
[So what can you do about it?](https://youtu.be/70669ZJdmWg?t=1231)
1. Recognize that *you are feeling* ***an emotion***\*.\* It's okay if you don't know what that emotion is.
2. Try to "diagnose that emotion". Ask yourself what you might be feeling (maybe even go through a literal list of emotions). Or you can ask yourself what someone else might be feeling in your situation. We're far better at analyzing the emotions of others than ourselves.
1. "What would someone be feeling if they were rejected from their dream college?"
3. Now that you are *aware* of what you're feeling, it becomes actionable. I'll leave the rest of this to the video, as I don't think I can do it justice.
|
ADHD
|
I found this sub within the past year and it changed my life. I am certain (though, undiagnosed) I had pretty severe OCD when I was a child. I feel pretty disconnected from my reality as a child, it was much different. This past year I saw a TikTok of "What OCD really looks like" and I was shocked. I became so emotional between crying and smiling. Crying - because of the reminder of the difficulties and the pain and also simultaneously overjoyed with the fact that I was not alone. Like I said before, I feel very disconnected with how I felt as a child, my reality was much different. I always felt alone, I couldn't explain anything, I knew it didn't make sense, I was just weird. To find a whole community of people who understood my feelings and even into the realm of physical feelings - I can't express how grateful I am.
I am much better now and have zero recollection of the breaking point of "severe" to almost nonexistent. Though now, I am a lot more aware of little ticks that come from OCD than previously. My husband and I recently went on a hike and my toes were rubbing together/feeling stuck and I kept adjusting and it was miserable. And once you're aware - it is SO hard (impossible to some) to remove it from your mind. Luckily, since I am a bit better, I just forced myself to keep walking and talking until it let go.
This morning my toes were rubbing together again. I really, really hate it. Sometimes I wonder if it's the shoes, my socks, or just the way my feet are to fix it/avoid it. When my mind is there, it is so debilitating and I want to cry.
Not that it's relevant, but a lot of my OCD stems from being "even" or "balanced" in my body. Steps, swallowing, blinking, breathing (also why yoga can affect me), scratches, bumps, hits, heavier/leaning to a side, picking, etc, or even just touching something would make me need to do it to the other.
|
OCD
|
Today I finally got around to paying a gardener to come and take care of my lawn, so I thought I would celebrate here!
I hate mowing my lawn and it doesn't get taken care of very well to the point where it's damaged, so I just wanted to encourage others to, if you have the means, pay for a service that you can't manage yourself. It's so relieving knowing it's going to be taken care of without forcing myself to do something that is stressful and upsetting for me :)
|
ADHD
|
Inspired by a post on r/nextfuckinglevel in which a teenager with Down Syndrome bench presses 355 pounds.
I believe it’s just a myth created by NT’s to stereotype us further.
However, I have encountered fellow Aspie’s who’ve displayed feats of strength beyond that of a simple adrenaline rush when angered.
I’ve witnessed peers from special ed kick through the glass panes of heavy steel doors, a girl takedown and pin male teens twice her size, I’ve been pushed 6 feet back by a former campmate after accidentally enraging him.
So maybe there is some truth to what the comments are saying about us possessing inner bloodlust.
Be great if you guys could provide any examples of your experience with angry outbursts, or maybe even disprove the theory.
|
aspergers
|
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