body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
I have strong principles/opinions/rules. These are things that I really have thought through and totally make sense for me. Then reality hits against them and it makes me exhausted.
Example: I think I should not do schoolwork in the weekend, I already work 5 days a week on school, they already take a lot of time from my life and every week I am exhausted. I need time to relax and do what I want to do. I actually think school and work should not be the center of our lives, instead just a means to an end: getting money to be able to do the things you love. 5 days taken from your week is already a lot.
However, then I come in a situation where I have no other choice and this devastates me. I get really upset and then I go do it, because there is no other choice. Then I go do the work, but afterwards I still feel bad: saturday morning is over and I didn't do what I wanted to do.
Then I do a fun activity, but I'm still like: my morning is still stolen, I have to get more free time to compensate, because we only have one life. The result is that I deprive myself of sleep to compensate.
I then have lower energy, instead of gaining energy so that I can start the week again smoothly.
Principles like that are just so strict to me and I get a mental meltdown if I I can't follow them.
I cannot be like a river, going with flow of the situation and still be okay with that. It is so ingrained in me, if I try to change I get upset too.
Same with, for example, family: I believe in a fast and furious kind of family. You care about people not because of blood/surname, but because you really have history with them, a real connection. Then my mom gets upset if I don't want to visit aunts, uncles and nephew's. To her it's normal to care for people only because of blood/surname. I care about my parents, brother and friends because of the real connection.
Because of that, I have to vist them. I have come to terms with it by saying I don't do it for myself, but for her. However, it still is a drag because I'm basically going to family gatherings and have to act. They be like "I hoped to see you again, it has been a long time" and then I have to lie against that.
I also have more of these thoroughly thought through things that others just don't see the same way. To me it seems they are not really thinking or that they refuse to accept that someone feels/thinks differently about things than most people do.
It always has been depressing and exhausting me even since I was a kid. There is not much I can do about it. I am powerless.
I wish I had a device that would regulate happiness, so that whenever I am doing something conflicting with these principles/opinions/rules, it would give me happy feelings instead.
|
aspergers
|
Failed to get the proper things for a job orientation. I think I might still get the job, but I still feel like a loser. I'm already failing. I fail at anything that actually matters.
Disappointing rat.
|
aspergers
|
So, yeah, just trying to say I was sexually assaulted.
It happened. And that’s not okay.
But it’s okay for me to react the way I’ve been reacting since it happened.
And that’s really just it for now. It’s a small thing, but it’s the first time since it happened that I’ve said those words.
|
ptsd
|
Dear Reddit,
I don't know how I feel and how the fuck did I get here? I just feel kinda numb and kinda sad, not sure about what. Mostly I feel like not existing and sleeping all the time. Like all the time. I am not able to sleep. I am not able to function. I am not able to really make sense of life. Sometimes I sleep for 16 hours at a stretch- that is the whole day. I am really stressed about things.
I get those continuous, repeated flashes of the past and how miserable I was in those moments. They just revisit me regularly and I feel numb and more numb and numb. I do not know why I feel like this honestly. What even is the cause of this thing? The last few years I have only been in bouts in and out of depression but never really stabilised completely.
Someone pls help me and pull me out of this sink hole. What even is the best course of action?
|
depression
|
Hello to you all my disperse and usually highly intelligent fellows with ADHD. Sorry for the bad english, it's my second language and my first time posting on Reddit.
I was diagnosed with this beautiful disorder when I was 7, but didn't take any medication because my treatment at the time was routine-design based and back in the day there was a lot of prejudice with controlled meds. I grew up having routines for things that mattered (school, homework, swimming and music) but my parents understood the condition very well and it was a fairly free environment for experimenting on different hobbies and activities.
Back in 2018, when I was 27 and more responsabilities came over in my personal life (marriage) and professional career (corporate promotions) my symptoms got worse, so I started reading and investigating on my own for the first time and found out that I had been managing my life by juggling with these symptoms thinking they were long gone. I looked for professional medical help and landed with a Psychiatrist that prescribed me with methilphen (Tradea LP 20mg) daily and started creating a new routine-design treatment on my own (writting down everything, to do lists, depending on a physical agenda for due dates, etc). I also prscticed yoga daily and learnt to meditate. It all managed to control most of the symptoms for a while, and decided (with medical advice from my psychiatrist) that I could get off the medication a year after.
During this initial treatment life kept changing and I got divorced before the pandemic started (2019), quit my job by summer 2020 and decided to take a gap period to put my shit toghether.
10 monts later I found an amazing job at something I didn't have any experience with and moved out of my homecountry for it.
As you can expect from someone with our condition, juggling with the relocation, new job, new country and still processing my failed marriage, took a big toll on my mental state and I started feeling overwhelmed just like when I was 27.
3 months ago I looked for a psychiatrist in this new country and he understood everything since the first time I talked to him (super grateful for it). I got prescribed with Concerta 27mg, increasing the dose to 54mg two weeks after.
As you may tell this is much more of a higher dose than what I was used to and these are the things I've realized these past few months:
-I have a hard time sleeping and usually wake up in the middle of the night.
-I completely lose my appetite during the day, and have to force myself to eat at my usual hours (I set a reminder for it). Usually a high-protein breakfast makes the magic and I can eat healthier during the rest of the day as I don't have the "instinctive" feeling of overeating.
-If I didn't sleep enough, the meds causes anxiety spikes during the day and get a hard crash after 9pm.
-If I drink while on the pill I get drunk with one or two beers and have a hard time remembering stuff the day after.
-When I skip the meds during the weekends, usually because I know there's going to be alcohol involved, on Mondays that I go back to taking the pill, these anxiety spikes hit harder and last longer.
-Sometimes, even when I feel the meds kicking in, I still have a hard time concentrating and it takes a lot of brain power to force myself into doing my job. Music with noiseblock headphones work the best those days.
In my second session with the Psych I told him about all this stuff, except for skipping the pill on the weekends, and prescribed Bromazepam 1.5mg for "whenever I felt the anxiety being too unconfortable".
Have you ever experienced this anxiety spikes with Concerta?
Have you had trouble concentrating even with such a high dose in you body?
What do you usually do to get the anxiety off your system?
Should I ask for a change in my dose/meds the next session with the Doctor?
Any tips, suggestions or questions are more than welcome.
PD. I'm not a very active person and have a hard time doing excercise, but I think it might be the key to keep progressing through my tratment. I don't meditate anymore and haven't done yoga in a while.
|
ADHD
|
It’s so odd, a part of me really wants to just end it all, but another part of me is still grateful for everything that I have and i’m at a loss because I didn’t think it was even possible for someone to want to die yet live so much.
|
OCD
|
I know this isn't books related sub, but I thought it could be beneficial to ask this question here. We share many peculiar traits. Many of us are struggling and you can find solace in literature - whether it's fiction or non-fiction. Maybe your recommendations will help someone else to find a reprieve - even if only temporarily. And vice versa.
So my favorite book has to be Steppenwolf. I am Harry Haller in many regards. And even though my theatre will probably never come in such a splendid manner, for the longest time I felt like an outsider, unable to belong. The idea of suicide is also not exactly foreign to me. It's a hopeful read, filled with great ideas and insights into man's psyche.
My favorite writer is P.K. Dick. I always thought sci-fi is inferior somehow, suitable for "space nerds". Now I see how short-sighted it was. Sci-fi can often be well-written, thought-provoking, and wildly imaginative. He was very prolific and you gotta be selective, but you can't go wrong with his more renowned books (Man from High Castle being an exception). Fractured realities, characters with disturbed state of mind within. So many interesting themes to explore. Written in a simple yet not simplistic style. I bet many of you read him already, but for those who haven't, I'd say Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep is a good starting point.
|
aspergers
|
I sometimes feel like I'm talking to peoples (especially when there is several of them) in the middle of a battlefield, with loud noise everytime and ''events'' happening everywhere, and that makes it even more overwhelming to talk to someone efficiently.
|
aspergers
|
Hi guys.
I have been slowly spiraling into an episode of severe clinical depression. I can handle the rough moments and extreme anxiety, but what really disturbs me are the non-stop, constant intrusive thoughts of suicide playing in the back of my mind 24/7. The thoughts are so strong, they almost feel like urges. I would never kill myself and know I am capable of battling the depression head-on and coming out of it, but my goodness these thoughts are so strong and intense, it almost feels like I’m going to lose control and do it one day. Has anyone else experienced this? Or experienced any other intrusive thoughts that feel extremely real? They started off at maybe 20-30 minutes a day, but are now occurring nonstop 24/7, totally out my control. Thank you guys.
|
OCD
|
I was recently prescribed adderall again after having stopped taking it for over 4 years. I used to feel very energized every time I took it. Now that I'm prescribed it again though I feel very tired when I've taken it the last two days. I was expecting to feel a little bit of euphoria/ alertness because I remembered that from last time... this time though I've experienced none of that.
I read in another thread that this could be due to lack of sleep which makes sense since I have sleep apnea now and am waiting on getting a CPAP. Other people were saying that when you take adderall on a lack of sleep it can actually make you feel more tired.
Does anyone else have experience with this? I'm hoping it gets better if I get my CPAP but any advice would be helpful
|
ADHD
|
Hi, guys. I have been suffering from noticeable OCD-like symptoms since I was 5, but because my southern family doesn’t really believe in mental health, I didn’t see anyone about it.
I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t actually have OCD because my “obsessions” aren’t exactly in line with what I read.
My obsessions are usually and were originally about contamination and religion.
My questions are—How frequently can obsessions and compulsions change? Can it be situational?
Because I’ve had several OCD-like obsessions and compulsions over the last fourteen-ish years. The contamination and prayer have remained pretty constant, but the others last between one month and five years.
It’s like I get caught on these ideas and run in circles with them, trying to reason with them or get a set answer, but never can.
They consume so much of my time and energy and well being, until one day, suddenly they’ve lost their sting, and I move on.
I didn’t recognize these as potentially being OCD-related until recently.
Some topics have been believing the number six was “of the devil,” growing up, being a failure, accidentally offending people, my family being in car accidents, my sexuality, animal products, biting people, accidentally throwing things away, being brain-washed, everything being a simulation, being dead and not knowing, and dozens of other things. Most never overlapped. But I’m over most of these now.
They all came with related compulsions. I also have ADD, so my brain is always moving, but it circled back to these things for extended periods of time.
I can’t tell if these were obsessions, or if I’m just an obsessive person. Maybe I wash my hands nearly a hundred times a day till they bleed and pray half a dozen times over each meal because it’s a strange habit. Who knows?
Now, I have spent hours and hours each day researching OCD—reading articles, asking questions, taking tests, then rereading and re-taking tests. I just want to know for sure. Sometimes I think there’s no way I don’t, and other times I think I’m a liar. I don’t know what I feel or think anymore. I feel really guilty, if I’m being honest. I know I don’t have it as bad as most people. The medication is helping some, I think.
Does anyone have any insight? How often do your obsessions change? Can they be situational? Can the theme change? Are your compulsions very different?
Or am I mistaking obsessions for normal human worries. I’d really appreciate any insight, I’m really new to all this.
|
OCD
|
I am suffering from pocd and recently after researching the thing that I am afraid I saw that to be a p necessary to be at least 16 years old it gave me a temporary relief but then the thoughts returned saying that when I turn 16 (I am 15) something will happen and this is killing me i'm really scared of turning 16 what do i do my fear proceed ??
|
OCD
|
I got diagnosed with ADD (nowadays it’s apparently called adhd inattentive type) when I was 15. It’s not really that bad, but I do have a lot of comorbidities (like depression, anxiety, OCD, binge eating etc). My dad has two siblings, both in their 50’s, and they both have early onset Parkinson. I wonder if there is a link between Parkinson and ADHD and if that could mean that it’s strictly genetic in my case? I’m worried that I might develop Parkinson later in life. I’m 20 years of age today.
|
ADHD
|
I have this fear all of a sudden that makes me think everyone is out to get me. Is this common with Schizophrenia OCD sufferers?
I’ve never had this problem before, my mind just went today, “how do you know you can trust anyone with anything” because I was reading comments by accident of people making conspiracy theories of the covid vaccine (conspiracy or not) and it was like, well how do I know who to trust?
Then it expanded real quickly and is making me think in general, how do I know who to trust with anything in my life? How do I know what’s real or correct? How do I not know people are out to get me, they could be?
I haven’t got any other schizophrenia symptoms but this thought has really bothered me today and I just wanna know if this is a common thought people with OCD get because it’s something you have no clear answer for, thanks.
|
OCD
|
I realized that my meds never worked after years taking them.
I feel happy for one side because at least I realized that the meds never worked and if I never realized, i would keep thinking that “i just need to work harder” or “ah, this is just meds tolerance” like i did for years in Portugal.
For another side, i feel sad cause i spent hundreds of hours trying multiple things that never went right and blaming myself while the problem wasn’t the lack of effort, was just my brain or my organism or whatever.
So, here’s what happened:
I’m 19 years old and i only got medicated for ADHD when i was 15 years old. My childhood psychiatrist did put me on Ritalin IR when i was 4 years old and in the first day, i just got a severe allergic reaction to the medicine that almost made me end in a emergency room. Same thing when i was 6. I was put on concerta but turns out that i had a even stronger allergic reaction and ended up 1 week in s hospital bed.
So, for that reason and for some beliefs they had about the pharma industry they always refused to put on me on meds. Turns out that when i was 15, my Portuguese teacher just called my mother and kinda forced her to put me on meds: “he needs to be on meds for ADHD, if he don’t appear tomorrow on meds, we expell him from the school”
Turns out that apart of don’t pay attention in the classes, i was also one of the students that would disturb the whole class.
So then i got on meds. first it was Ritalin of Instant Release. I felt different. Calmer and could focus properly, finally!
Turns out that in a short period of time, i couldn’t focus anymore despite being on medication. I wasn’t hyper, i wasn’t disturbing the whole class, but i had side effects and my mind was in 1001 different places while my body was in the class room.
In a short resume: then my doctor did put me on Ritalin LA and was even worse because I didn’t felt any changes.
And the concerta, same thing.
None of them worked to help my little brain to just focus.
So, i just moved to Turkey in march and for the first 2/3 months i choosed to don’t be on meds because i was in a new country, and i felt that it was better for me enjoy the things around me with “my true self” rather than being on meds.
So, last month I enrolled myself in a intensive Turkish course in a public school and i just couldn’t focus or do anything.
So i asked my mother if she could get a ritalin la prescription in Portugal and send me because i just wasn’t able to sit for 2 minutes and study.
She sent and then i just realized that my body or organism must have some kind of problem or that ritalin wouldn’t work for everyone, because i got it on last monday and took every day from monday to friday. Result? The same. I did had side effects and wasn’t hyper but my mind was in another world.
And that’s how i found out my med just never worked after years.
Ps: Soon i’ll check a doctor and see other meds that i could try to help me. :)
|
ADHD
|
There are some things about my family life that I'm not sure about since I don't have a "normal" family to compare mine to. Looking back on my childhood, it was very obvious I am autistic. I finally got diagnosed as an adult 8 years ago after getting away from the influence of my family.
When I was about 4 years old, I was prone to running off. On one of these occasions, my dad hit me so violently I was mentally and physically shaken. It has been 31 years and I still remember it. I have not talked about this before with anyone. When I was about 5, I remember traveling in the back seat of the car with my younger brother. My parents were fighting about something like usual when my dad hit my mother. I still remember that day since everything changed after that. My mom left him and basically raised me and my brother herself after that.
My mom also used to hit me but eventually stopped doing that and never did the way my dad did. When I'd meltdown I would often hit myself in the head, my mom would freak right out and yell at me to stop. There were times she would grab my arms and demand I look at her. I couldn't, eye contact is very uncomfortable for me. As I got older I got to know when I was about to meltdown and would beg her to stop yelling and using sarcasm so I could calm down. She would refuse. Anytime I had problems with food, light, noise, clothing, shoes etc, she would dismiss it and tell me to get over it. I got used to being in mental and physical pain and ignoring it. When i'd go non-verbal she would get angry and tell me if I can't verbalize my issue then she doesn't care. She just didn't understand it is impossible for me to talk when I'm overwhelmed. I never had my feelings validated. Anytime I would express how I'm struggling with something I was being ridiculous and everyone else does that or other people have it worse. Any kind of stimming was met with yelling at me to stop and that "people are staring at you". Every time I would struggle with hand writing, remembering mutli-step instructions, completing school work etc she would always insist I am perfectly normal and these things are a failure on my part to work hard enough.
I thought most of this was normal until recently. I'm beginning to realize this might be abuse. There is a lot more I could add but I don't want this to be too long. I wish I knew I was autistic sooner for my own knowledge. I'm slowly learning to accept myself and to undo some of this trama and how it shaped me. Thanks for reading this far.
|
aspergers
|
My entire day (and you know I’m not joking) consists of a headache from CONSTANT compulsions that my brain feels like it’s twisted in a knot.
How on earth do y’all actually survive working a full fay
|
OCD
|
Just thought I'd share this here, since I know people will understand.
I have PTSD for a lot of reasons I won't go into. But a big trigger for me is loud, sudden noises. The louder and closer it is to me, the worse my reaction. Of course, like every 4th of July, I knew I'd probably hear some fireworks in the distance through the night. But not this night.
A group of teenage boys in two or three cars came into the parking lot outside our apartment complex. They proceeded to light off M-80 fireworks for about 20 minutes straight. I could hear people in the other units around me being disturbed too, other dogs barking. I have a rescue dog with some PTSD too, so he was huddled under my weighted blanket in bed. It was 1:30 in the morning and my dog and I were woken up and immediately triggered into trauma response by these fireworks. It sucked. It felt like they'd never stop.
Now, I'm an extremely non confrontational person. I don't handle conflict well, and I have no experience in standing up for myself or using my voice. I'm sure you can guess why, given the subreddit. But this night, I don't know. Maybe it's the PMS. Maybe it's the way I was triggered, literally woken up from REM sleep by loud, booming noises. But this time, it tapped into a wellspring of rage I have a hard time accessing normally.
I got up, titties out, hair a mess, and seeing red. I opened up my window, and I could see them directly, and the fireworks they were setting off. They were M-80's, which are VERY loud, especially for an urban but residential area at 1:30 in the motherfucking morning. And I yelled, in a voice louder than I thought myself capable of, and in very scary, impolite words, told them to leave.
And they left. They got into their cars and left! Cursing at me, of course, because I ruined their fun. But I, someone who was raised to not speak up, to not feel empowered, actually achieved this! I scared some asshole hooligans off. This feels very new and good, and I'm glad I was able to not only make a breakthrough for myself, but also helped all my fellow neighbors be able to get back to sleep.
I'll be thinking of you all, and for every person with PTSD, and know that someday we won't have to deal with this, because norms and laws will change.
|
ptsd
|
Me and a guy have been dating for a while now and it’s going very well. But I don’t have the guts to tell him about my awful mental state and what has been going on. I don’t know how to even bring it up… but he needs to know… help…
|
depression
|
I just cant comprehend what is "wrong" . i just feel like i'm missing something. and i worry about something that doesn't exist
|
OCD
|
I apologize if it isn't, but it just makes too much sense. It explains everything. There are things I've done all my life that turned out to be aspie traits. I've thought about getting an actual diagnosis, but don't know what to do or if I'll be able to do it.
Life forced me to get a job, which an uncle helped with. So I guess I'm okay for now, but the more I expose myself to the world, the more I find myself needing to explain my actions and behavior.
My depression seems to be getting worse too.
I'm lost and I don't know what to do.
|
aspergers
|
I've struggled with my mental health for the past 4-5 years and have dealt with suicidal thoughts, sh, reckless behavior, low self esteem, disordered eating, sleep issues, emotional outbursts, and easily become irritable on occasions. These things would work together and wear me down mentally and emotionally and cause me to isolate myself because I was either too drained to socialize or I was worried that I would get irritable and say something that would hinder my relationships. At my lowest, I was always arguing with my mom, in a relationship with a toxic guy, my thighs and arm were covered in cuts, and I had a plan to off myself and was on the verge of doing it before I ended up breaking down in tears, unable to go through with it. It's been 6 months since my atl and I've felt better, but still struggle with thoughts of not wanting to exist, still cut on occasion, have close to no appetite most days, immediately feel exhausted after waking up, struggle to focus on things, and have been struggling to attend classes and complete work for university.
I recently saw my doctor and talked to them about my mental health issues and concerns and they put me on medication for my depression and recommended that I speak to a counselor, and so I've also been seeing a counselor at my university. I feel like my problems aren't bad enough to need to be on medication or be seeing a counselor though, especially considering I've been able to deal with it on my own for this long. And sometimes my mood is significantly higher where I'm more bubbly than usual, get excited over simple things, and feel relatively okay. It feels like I'm just making it up and faking that I'm being depressed when I can feel such a large amount of positive emotions after going weeks or months feeling completely hopeless. Am I really depressed or am I just being dramatic? Is it normal to feel this way?
|
depression
|
I’ve found myself getting unreasonably angry at everything and everyone lately. Even the slightest inconvenience sends me into a spiral of anger and depression where I find myself crying over it for hours on end.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I can’t just be normal.
|
depression
|
Hi all. I am stuck trying to restart good habits that once upon a time I had. Specifically, exercise and meal planning.
I'm struggling with doing these things with a full day of work 'have-tos'. While my job is flexible to some degree and overall, I like it, my day to day is increasingly filled with things I have to do but don't always want to do. I spend less and less time on what I really like. Trying to fix that but it leads to other have tos.
I have done much better with exercise when it's a 'want to.' Running kept me sane in the past and I wanted to go do it, even in days I didn't really want to. I never stuck to a strict training schedule and ran wherever I wanted to go. I can't run anymore due to an injury. So I'm stuck with a stationary bike in the basement and I just cannot make myself do it. Not after being lectured by my GP about my health or my therapist telling me I will feel better.
Adding it as one more to do just doesn't happen. Likewise, meal planning and cooking. I used to enjoy cooking and now I just can't. Back when I made less money and worked way more hours while going to school, I just had to cook a bunch on Sunday to have lunch for the rest of the week. Now, I can barely figure out how to get groceries that make sense for meals I can cook each night.
How do you get yourself to do things that you need to that just aren't intrinsically motivating? Knowing these things are good for me is just insufficient.
|
ADHD
|
I have religious ocd and one of my obsessions has to do with thinking about fiction/fictional characters a lot. I also maladaptive daydream and pretend I’m talking to characters sometimes, or will just daydream in general about them. I appreciate fictional characters and think about them quite a bit, watch movies with them in it frequently etc., so does that mean I idolize them? I can’t tell if this is my ocd lying to me or me just being accurate for once
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone. I have a general question. I’ve never been diagnosed with ptsd. I keep having vivid and terrifying sleep paralysis episodes and night mares. I have a traumatic past and something recently happened to me (I do not wish to disclose). Are nightmares with ptsd usually specifically reliving the traumatic event? Or can they be general nightmares? I’m wondering if this is a sign that I may have ptsd?
|
ptsd
|
I keep getting thoughts that my life is ruined because of one reason or another and it makes me feel so insanely horrible that I can’t even describe it. And it seems like on a daily basis there is a new thought/reason why everything will go wrong. It’s like there is no use in anything because it’s all gonna lead to my doom anyway. Is someone’s life ever actually ruined? How am I supposed to know if there is impending doom or not?
|
OCD
|
I figured out that I had ADHD about a year ago, and ever since then I’ve been trying really hard to get my parents to believe me and get me the help I need. I really want to try meds because I have friends who have good results with them. However my mom is so against it because she’s scared that I’m gonna get a bunch of side effects from it.
ADHD is affecting my life so badly that I basically have daily panic attacks because I get so overwhelmed. A diagnosis would be great so I could inform my teachers and get some extra help on certain things. My mom keeps going back and forth on whether she’ll take me or not, and when she tells me finally that I can she makes up some excuse not to go for another couple months.
So the purpose of this post, does anyone have any advice? Either to convince my parents or just tips you have for dealing with symptoms?
|
ADHD
|
this disorder has erased all sense of self, anything somewhat unique or gifted or wonderful about me i used to be motivated and intelligent and enthusiastic and now i don't care i can't feel anything im not real and nothing is real or meaningful
|
ptsd
|
So I am male and I am horny. Unfortunately that means anytime I encounter a beautiful woman who is near my age, I find myself thinking: "Damn, she's hot." or even fantasizing about them
It's not that I want to bang every hot women that comes my way. But I can't stop myself from admiring their looks
I have a friend in wow that I've met irl many times and she is quite pretty. Several members of the guild have tried to hit on her the moment they met her. For myself though, I genuinely view as a good friend and many times, I've found myself forcing my mental state to go: "Don't think of her that way, DON'T think of her that way!"
It's not that I fear screwing up my friendship with her. We are both attached to great partners so neither of us desire to cheat. It's that I have boxes in my head which I put people into. This friend of mine goes into the "good friend" box and one stipulation of the good friend box is that I refuse to gaze, creep on, or even entertain the slightest lewd thought of her
I am curious to hear if anyone's the same
|
aspergers
|
Actually most times I don’t get around to doing these tasks I write
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/pc9db7)
|
OCD
|
Hi all - I’m sorry to bother everyone, but does anyone have any methods they use to prevent or minimize skin picking? >!Not to be gross, but I have lost several layers of skin on my nose, and my lips are a mess. I also sometimes make my head bleed.!< I’ve cut my nails extra short, but I still do a lot of damage. I would greatly appreciate any tips you can provide. Thank you all so much (:
|
OCD
|
Does anyone have any experience with this medication?
|
OCD
|
It's just one other side effect of feeling out of step with everything.
NTs can hear good advice and commit to it. It's never like that for me because of doubt.
|
aspergers
|
I’m so frustrated!!!!! I just need to vent, this is my first post so I hope I’m doing it right.
I’ve not been officially diagnosed yet, but for sure have contamination obsessions and compulsions.
TW: details about one of my compulsions below
Basically when we get groceries I have to sanitize them before they’re put away, otherwise I can’t touch them and everything they touch becomes contaminated.
My dad keeps going shopping and putting things away before I can sanitize them.
This past week I’ve managed to get to them before he’s put it away but not today.
I feel so on edge right now. I’m so hungry but I can’t touch anything in the kitchen because I don’t know what he bought or where he laid the bags down. He also doesn’t wash his hands when he gets in- but that’s a different issue. A lot of time if he catches me sanitizing everything he gets annoyed.
I know I can’t expect my family to deal with my compulsions but I just don’t know how to deal with this.
And I’m just so fucking tired and hungry and when I get hungry and don’t eat I get migraines and I’m so so frustrated right now!!!! And I have A LOT of work to get done before the end of the day and sanitizing the entire kitchen and everything he could have touched is going to take me ages and I won’t be able to eat until then and I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t calm down idk what to do at this point
|
OCD
|
My life right now is so unbearable, I feel like this is not a life worth living I've been trying but I can't seem to improve it. I feel like the only reasonable solution is to kill myself but I also think that's so selfish, people have invested a lot in me whether it's money or time trying to educate me, that resulted in me believing that killing myself is selfish, it feels to me as if you gifted someone cyclist wearing and that person stopped cycling.
I just wanted to write this somewhere :/.
|
depression
|
Hi guys! I don’t want to bore y’all with the details so I’ll keep it short..
It’s been nearly 2 years since the trauma that made me develop PTSD. Since then, when something triggering happens to me, I have a tendency to freeze. Especially if I’m home alone. I’ll have plans to be productive, but if something scary happens, all I can do is lay on the couch and be aware of my environment. It makes me feel safe and less vulnerable. However , it’s really interfering on my productivity and recovery.
Has anyone ever experienced this? Sending love
|
ptsd
|
Hi all, I've been trying various different modalities over the years to deal with the trauma that I experienced in my turbulent teenage years that basically left me in a terrible way. I've tried therapy, prescription drugs, the trauma release exercises, hypnotherapy, the body code/emotion code, meditation, acupuncture, the Sedona method, holotropic breathwork and EFT. I stopped short of things like ayahuasca and unfortunately never tried EMDR which seems like the gold standard these days.
Some of these have been VERY, VERY helpful, particularly for me, the trauma release exercises and EFT. However, there is one modality that for me, seems to be the most effective and quickest at providing relief and seems to be longer lasting. The modality is called the healing codes by a guy called Alex Loyd. It's fairly similar to EFT but a little bit weirder. I must say that I am in no way affiliated with this, infact, I think Alex Loyd is a bit of a charlatan the way he advertises things and promotes his products and way he says it works. I used the universal healing code in the book, I don't know how it works and I don't think Alex Loyd does either but it somehow does. I'm using it every morning I wake up, I feel lighter, less emotionally reactive and feels like I might actually be making some permanent changes, some of the trauma is coming up and I'm not actually freaking out so much. The book is on amazon but I can take a screenshot of the universal healing code on the kindle app on my phone and send it over to anyone who might want to try it. Hope it could help some people here to get some more relief, it's worth a try, even if it just helps one person here.
|
ptsd
|
I have an all or nothing thinking, whatever I’m into I am in 110%. This worked fine for me when I was passionate about work or pursuing something I loved doing, not so much when I hit a downturn and I find myself overcome by anxiety/depression. recently I have been diagnosed with PTSD and my therapist recommended EMDR to me. Ever since then, all I keep doing is reading about EMDR to the point where I know I am obsessing. There is a part of me that fears that I’m putting all my eggs in one basket, wondering what I options I will have if this EMDR thing doesn’t work. Is rumination/constant overthinking part of PTSD, what are some ways to stop being obsessive and will EMDR actually help with this aspect?
|
ptsd
|
I am in my 50s. All of my life, I've had one, possibly two, friends at a time. It's not that I haven't wanted more, I just never have figured out making friends. I'll ask people to do things and it just doesn't work out. Right now, though, it's probably zero. I've gotten so much better at small talk and eye contact over the past 50 years. I really wish people could give me credit for how far I've come on my own.
I have learned recently, though, that apparently my face naturally has a pissed off/I hate you expression. I don't hate anybody... well, except evil people. My kids' friends apparently all think I hate them and I don't. I like all of my kids' friends. So maybe others think I hate them or am angry, too?
People just assume (I guess) that I must have friends. I guess that's good that I appear normal enough to have friends, but I don't. I kind of accept it as my fate in life. Animals are so much nicer.
Anyway, when I do have friends, I feel a need to give the other person gifts. I do it because I love/like them, but apparently this is wrong too unless it is a birthday or religious holiday.
I became over-reliant on my one or two friends (or actually anybody who is nice at all to me). Everything seems normal (to me), there is back and forth, and then there is an argument or something... and I can't handle that. I can't just go away and let things cool down because I'll somehow mess it up... and that itself does mess things up and they ghost me (cease all communication) forever.
Sometimes I try and stop myself from responding too quickly or acting too excited so as not to mess things up, but I can't always help myself.
I'm so tired of this. I'd just like friends who get me and like me for me and who I don't have to play these games with (games which I suck at anyway).
|
aspergers
|
Hey guys, new to the sub. I (35, female) came here after seeing a meme about ADHD and it was so relatable that I looked into all the possible symptoms and I'm shocked how many of them apply to me and how it could explain so much about my behavior throughout my life. Not going to list all of them now (maybe later) but just wanted to know if this is ADHD or something else:
I can get extremely irritated when being touched too much, especially the face and head. I really can't stand it and it that's being ignored than I can become really angry and aggressive and even can cause a panic like reaction. I have to say that I also suspect to have depression/C-PTSD caused by multiple issues in my childhood. The aversion of touch might come from my mother who hugged and kissed me even when I did not want it and even tried it a few years ago. So that might be trauma, but could it be that ADHD playes a role as well? Would love to get some feedback.
Thank you!
|
ADHD
|
This is gonna sound insane but I recently purchased a costume like a Michael Jackson suit because I love him and I’m a dancer yet my ocd magical thinking is telling me if I don’t cancel the order I will die in my sleep like I know we’ll enough I should resist it but it’s difficult any tips would be appreciated and I hope you guys are doing well.
|
OCD
|
Edited for questions.
Last night I had my first serious bout of suicidal depression in years. If anyone knows the area, I live around Rowan University, a college with a massive suicide problem. Last month a guy jumped from the parking garage right next to where I work. Last night I considered jumping off it myself. Didn't get much sleep as a result. On the way to work, I threw up twice, maybe three times from the anxiety of it all. I knew that if I went in, literally all I would think about is the fact that it's right next door and I can just go for it if I want. I spent the day in bed after telling my manager I'm too sick to work, and I haven't eaten much today. I literally just laid in bed constantly unsure if I was actually asleep or if I was hallucinating.
I considered calling my mom a little bit ago, but the last time I had thoughts like this as a junior in highschool I wasn't actually institutionalized. I feel like I should be, but I can't afford it, and I'm struggling way, WAY too hard to make ends meet to justify it. I just kinda want it all to go away.
Anybody who's been institutionalized for anxiety or depression, what was it like? Did it help at all? Am I a moron for thinking this'll help me?
|
depression
|
I have been doing ERP with my therapist but I've found that remembering to record my reaction to an exposure in the spreadsheet diffecult, so if I had an app to record this in when I remembered, that would be easier. Can anyone suggest a simple App for Android that would work for this?
|
OCD
|
it hurts me how much i can vent and yet i will only be covering the tip of the iceberg. i have so many fears, traumas, grievances, things left unsaid.. just the sheer depth of it fills me with despair. is that what life is? being burdened with a unfathomable amount of unhappiness? an amount of fears, complexes, etc. so large and that all have such a strong grip on you that you're powerless to do anything about? that every day of life is doomed to be a struggle, every decision, thought, and word spoken to be agonized over? i sure hope not, or at least.. i hope that it won't be all my existence is. though i'm so deeply entrenched it in all i can't see a way out.
i feel as though there is some truth in this, even if i'm probably feeling too much in the moment. i'm currently inconsistent with my meds, haven't seen a therapist since august (i got cut off due to lack of funding from COVID this year) and i haven't had a support system since... ever lol. the deepest thoughts and fears i feel unsafe even disclosing to a therapist let alone friends and family due to shame or fear of them thinking i'm crazy only go here usually.
i'm gonna take my meds now. the incessant internal chatter is back.
|
depression
|
Want to know if this is weird in this community. Aspies are supposed to have [poor motor skills](https://www.iancommunity.org/cs/about_asds/aspergers_syndrome_clumsiness) and stuff but for some reason I can balance REALLY WELL. Better than some of my allistic friends. I put some poles on the ground which are round and 1 inch in radius and I can walk across without touching the floor, and I picked up skateboarding pretty quickly so IDK if I'm just a freak or the said motor skills don't extend to balance.
ALTERNATIVELY:
close your yeys and do these with your fingers 👉, t pose and try to touch both your fingers at once without opening your eyes. Did you make it? How far off the mark were you? I usually miss by about an inch.
Edit: from what I've seen in the comments Aspies have an unusual spread of skills in motor skills but aren't always better or worse
|
aspergers
|
By the time I think of something to say, there's no where to pause or interject. It's like they (everyone else) knows exactly what to do and say and I'm over here like "I thi-!" and "How about w.."
|
aspergers
|
I’m being referred to a PTSD specialist and I’m just wondering who else has gone through this and what it is like? What should I expect? I’ve tried EMDR and DBT in the past. Feel free to share your own experiences with trauma therapy.
|
ptsd
|
Hi! I am currently 6 months into a LDR with him and I wasn’t familiar at all with OCD prior so I have been researching it a lot to try to fill in the blanks for what I don’t understand. We’ve obviously talked to each other about it too.
I want to be able to know how to care for him better so I thought I should also reach out those in similar positions to him.
What would you wish your partner understood? What do you appreciate/wish they did? What common mistakes should I be careful of?
Thank you! (if you have any recommendations for books or reading material please lmk)
|
OCD
|
This turned into a mini novel of a rant/question...sorry about that!
tw for brief mention of sexual assault (nothing even slightly detailed)
Context to this: I was diagnosed around age 14 with ASD (and the term used by the diagnosing professionals was Asperger's--that diagnosis was just already retired from the DSM by then I believe), largely because it was apparent I had social deficits and an "eccentric" personality (read: narrow interests, lots of speech quirks nowadays & selective mutism as a child, and generally don't follow/get social conventions in some cases). In hindsight, I had symptoms from go, but a lot of them were (aside from poor eye contact) sensory related and I suppose more easily missed. No one knew, and I come from Appalachia where the awareness of anything like that and mental health care is near nonexistent, especially in the late 90s/early 00s. So more or less, I didn't get patience or understanding with those sensory issues and sort of forced myself to conform because I got mistreatment at home by some family and at school, and was often forced to wear things that would set off anxiety and overload like closed toed shoes and some fabrics, so it set up a bit of a long running struggle in my head.
So, the current thing. Recently, after I finished my 3rd year of college and felt fairly confident/happy, I had time to think in a positive way for the first time in a long time. I have other issues that developed partly because bum genetics and partly because of PTSD due to that familial mistreatment, and I also have a genetic condition that affects my anatomy and joints/skin/nervous system (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome). I was able to think back into childhood without it being negative, and about why I tend to be really crabby and irritable and super, super sensitive to the environment, and how to fix it...and I remembered something. I really really really hate clothing.
It suddenly clicked for me because I realized I would sometimes find myself just forgoing clothes, if I was home alone, or in some altered state of mind (like sleep deprived, which I am sometimes on purpose to relieve anxiety/inhibitions), or with someone I'm dating, and I stress it's totally non-sexual in nature. I realized as a small child I would get my diaper or clothes off every chance I could and particularly loved running out in the snow without my diaper as a toddler (I am very insensitive to cold and it relaxes me when I get worked up), I would go without clothes when I could be in my room alone, etc. as I got older, both social conformity pressures, heavy bullying from a sibling centered on my appearance (I gained weight due to medication when I was 6-7 y/o), etc. and an unfortunate assault that happened when I was a preteen. My self esteem has come up heavily recently because I started working out to cope with the genetic condition, and I live with only one other person now (my grandfather who helped raise me) and the home is technically mine per my grandmothers will, so I have a say so in general. Furthermore, the anatomy issues prominently includes my pelvis/hips--they're abnormally shaped and my legs turn outward and hips roll forward, and to be as SFW as possible, it means really constant and tight fabric against my groin area because I have to sit & move in peculiar ways.
I realized it drives me insane and actually causes pain, and makes me feel like I'm gonna have an anxiety attack. I tolerate it in public because I'm up moving, distracted, etc (and that keys me into it being mostly a sensory issue--I don't notice it anywhere near as much unless I have to sit down somewhere in public for a bit, and then I notice the feeling). I stopped bothering with undergarments or socks more or less (and am lucky enough that I don't get gross or smelly from it, so that is not an issue) at any point, but when I'm home I basically defaulted to either wearing just a shirt or nothing at all, unless I go outside or other people come to my home or etc. It really makes an impact and I don't feel insanely overwhelmed and anxious. My family didn't ask why I was (and I do avoid anything being seen, if you get what I mean, and I inhabit a different part of my home to my grandfather, so he doesn't see me much during the day as is), and I guess assumed I was being weird or whatever, and it led to tons of conflict because he just wouldn't actually inquire, and made rude comments under his breath, and etc. it contributed to a relapse of depression because I just feel so misunderstood by people in general. It's fine now and he gets it and doesn't act weird now, but it had a big impact on me and I can't shake that people just think it's something sexual or perverse, and I feel alienated badly for being different...
That was a lot, but it brings me to my point...I truly hate how even my family has never tried to learn me after 22 years, and even after knowing they screwed up badly with mistreatment and neglect that they seem to want to rectify, yet still never listen. I've learned I cannot expect someone that isn't autistic to even begin to grasp any of it innately, especially the sensory aspects, but it just burns badly when they don't accept things and ask why. Because I'm the Asperger's type and do great academically, they seem to forget I'm very different behaviorally and emotionally. It reopens old wounds badly, and I just feel less human for this issue and others also not unrelated to my differences. The experience of assault and body image issues/eating disorders also makes it sting super bad to have had comments made about my appearance when I was finally comfortable in my own skin enough to unmask some stuff related to hiding my ASD...
Does any of this make sense, and is it valid to feel hurt and dismissed? Am I right to tell myself I shouldn't give in to feeling like it must be some perverse thing just because that is how some neurotypical people that don't think too hard about much of anything insinuated it was? And has anyone had any even tangentially similar experiences? I feel even more harshly judged because I'm a male and I'm fairly masculine and muscular now, so some people balk pretty bad/feel intimidated by me at times like this, so me being nude gives me this fear that I'm gonna be seen as some predator just for sitting in my house minding my business...I dunno, it seems dumb to think about so much but it's ruined my summer break and reminded me I'll never get patience and understanding the way I need.
|
aspergers
|
These posts are made daily and are up for hours with no one telling OP that the first few days on meds isn't 1. How non-adhd brains feel and 2. How they will feel taking the meds a week or two later.
It sets these lovely people up to fail, and in the worst case lead to drug seeking behaviour chasing that blissful feeling.
Thank you.
Edit: Shoutout to /u/2moms1bun for explaining this perfectly in the comments.
The goal isn't to remove the posts. Just for the automod to explain this immediately, so we aren't setting people up for failure when they're freshly diagnosed and uninformed. The goal is to set our fellow brains up for success. They all deserve success.
|
ADHD
|
Switched from adderall xr 30mg to vyvanse 60mg. Adderall was giving me heart palps and anxiety so that’s why I wanted to switch. It’s been two weeks and am no longer having heart palps but am finding vyvanse is only working for a few hours my Dr is going to give me a 10mg booster to take around noon. Did this fatigue get better for anyone? It’s only been two weeks so maybe I just need to even out. I dunno but I am struggling.
|
ADHD
|
I'm 20. I dropped out of my college courses without telling my parents. I lied to them for months because I was too lazy and weak to tell them. Now their insurance is more expensive. I drove with a blood-alcohol-level of 0.01, in my mom's car. I only received traffic tickets because the officer was particularly nice, but still, I made a horrible and thoughtless choice, and I increased the price of my parent's insurance again. I am objectively a burden to them, not just financially but also emotionally. My relationship with my mom and stepdad is broken. I don't even feel comfortable being in the same house with them. I am a failure. I just got my first job and I AM 20. I take advantage of how lenient my parents can be, I take as much time as I have, I wait, I don't do things. Not only am I dumb, a burden, but I am also a bad person. I don't know anything, I don't know how the world works and I don't know how people work either, I hardly myself too. I just don't see anything good about myself, about life, or about my relationships with others. Nothing is the way it should be. Anytime my mom and I get into an emotional conversation about how much I am fucking up OUR lives, the thought of suicide is there. It is the easiest way out. I am too much of a coward to grow up, to THINK, I am too much of a whiney baby. I have no chance. I am such a shitty person.
|
aspergers
|
After a depressive episode does anyone else look back on it and it feels surreal? like it never happened to where it feels like a third person point of view? and you then convince yourself that you forced yourself to feel those emotions and seeking help would be selfish of u? kinda like imposter disorder. :/
|
depression
|
I saw a man that looked like as if he vanished. He probably did not because there are other more possible explanations that made him look like as IF he vanished.
I am not sure and I cant confirm it 100% that the man did NOT vanish. So, I am worrying. What if he really vanished? what if it was a glitch in the simulation system, if in case we are living in one?
I took some pictures of the spot in which I thought that he vanished in order to show it and discuss it with 2 of my friends.
What if I angered the Gods of the simulation system or the programmers by trying to uncover the truth? I think I did not do it for fun but because I was already worried and I wanted an explanation about it. Should I have just buried it inside me?
The figure of the man, before vanishing, reminded me of an other person. Some time later, in a different location, I was thinking about that and suddenly saw the person that the figure of the man reminded me of. Was that a coincidence?
There is a reddit user who was saying that he is sure enough that we are living in a simulation. I am worried.
|
OCD
|
I (32M) was diagnosed about 2-3 months ago and never tried any ADHD medication before that. When I started taking medication I told my girlfriend I'm not sure how it's going to affect me so I'm sorry if I'm more iritable or impatient than normal. Especially since it's gonna be a trial and error process with different medications and dosage. I asked her to let me know if she notice any changes in my behavior good or bad.
.
About two weeks ago she mentioned she feels I'm a bit different than before. She said it's hard to explain specifically in what ways but she thinks I seem more positive which is good. Anyway, earlier today it caught me by surprise when she mentioned she thinks I haven't been as funny/silly lately. She didn't say it with frustration or in a mean way. It was just her observation that my mannerism is more serious and I don't joke around or act silly like my usual self. It worries me because our relationship is great and our humor, our ability to make each other laugh is very important to me. She tried to comfort me telling me it's okay, maybe I'm just stressed lately but I still kept thinking about it.
.
I understand medications doesn't work the same for everyone so it's best to speak to my doctor about it. Still, I want to share it here and maybe get some different perspective. I'm currently taking 20mg Ritalin LA and 10mg Ritalin IR. When I take 20mg Ritalin LA I barely feel any positive effects. When I take 40mg Ritalin LA the side effect was too much even though it did improve my focus greatly. So I figured something in between should be good. It doesn't give me anxiety or make me feel like a zombie, but I don't know if I want to keep taking it if that means my girlfriend sees me as more serious and not as funny.
|
ADHD
|
Hey all remember to drink water and breathe.
This might get suppressed by this app, DM for details.
# My Experince
I had used "TlCT🆗️" for years and started using it more as a way to deal with anxiety and procrastinate. I was learning so much and it hit spot for dopamine so I didn't think much of it. After a while I had to spend more and more time on it.
My attention span got really messed up and it worsened my ADD symptoms overall. I experienced further difficulty doing everyday things, I lost my train of thought more often. I had trouble doing other hobbies and enjoyed them less. I was generally unsatisfied, and anxious and craving dopamine more and more.
## Impact
The app is made to hijack our brain and over-stimulate our dopamine center. It is equivalent to the study of rats hitting a button to stimulate its reward system until they die.
See link below!
It is affecting so many people and the exposure is suppressed especially on this platform. I'm sure that you will find many stories like this one.
We are more vulnerable and it affects us a lot more, we are easy prey. **WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER AND INCREASE AWARENESS.**
**Please share your experiences**
### P.S.
This video explains it really well and gives more disturbing info.[Video](https://youtu.be/iLt-ymXNf-w). He has 2 on the subject. I encourage you to watch the rest of his videos too.
I believe that the app can be used for great things and if you can manage it I wish you the best
I tried to make it as readable as possible. Open to suggestions.
|
ADHD
|
when I was little I saw… lots of things that I definitly shouldnt have. My moms friends dying from overdoses to seeing her eye pop out after being beaten so badly she almost died. hearing her screams every night when her boyfriend hit her. Its been a while since then, we’re safe now and hes behind bars but I get episodes where I want to… feel that feeling again. I get the urge to watch or listen to gorey stuff or hurt myself to get some kind of sick rush. I’m not proud of it, not in the least and I know it only does more damage to my mental state and well being. I don’t have thoughts of hurting others, in fact it makes me sick to my stomach to think about. I think I do it in. a self harming way, again to expirience a feeling that i miss in a way, despite it being horrible. I feel bad, and I hope people can understand and how I can cope better with this rather than trying to retraumatize myself.
|
ptsd
|
DAE feel like when you are really calm (like right now I can even say I’m content) you can almost make eye contact? Just now my eyes met my coworker’s that I don’t know and I calmly looked back. Maybe not directly in the eyes but in the forehead or nose/lips but I definitely didn’t flinch.
|
aspergers
|
I feel like absolute trash. I did NOTHING today besides nap and eat.
My depression becomes quite physical when I have a lot on my plate. I cancelled an interview I had today. I laid in bed all day and haven't started prepping for the presentation because I have no idea where to start and I'm so nervous. I'm 25.
On top of that, the government pulled my funding for my winter semester (I'm in grad school), so I'm really low on money and don't have a main source of income. That's also eating away at me.
Anxiety and depression have always been a part of my life. I'm on prozac and have a therapist.
I feel so heavy and lost. Help would be appreciated
|
depression
|
Hello everyone! So as stated in the title, I’m designing a support/education group for adults with ADHD as part of a university assignment. Per assignment guidelines, I am designing a presentation with detailed and specific instructions for each of the 6 weeks. It just needs to be detailed enough for someone to use with minimal prep. It is not clinical so I can’t use clinical or medical interventions. Just things like support, reflection and self understanding exercises, psychoeducation components, and any creative group activities that may reasonably help as long as I can justify it. Basically, I have full creative leeway in how I design the group and activities. As an adult with ADHD myself, I kind of struggle with these types of abstract experiments and was hoping to receive some suggestions from people who might have more experience in this area. Any and all suggestions are welcome, thank you so much in advance!
|
ADHD
|
Hey everyone!! I wanted to share that I worked out this morning and did the dishes that have been sitting in my sink for 2 weeks. And guess what it feels great! I may continue to check off things on my to do list, I may not.
Just remember, you decide what you want to do with your day. Yesterday I laid in bed the WHOLE day and that was okay.
**TL;DR** Be kind to yourself. And be the bada$$ you were meant to be whether it is checking off that to-do list or doing absolutely nothing. You are great and always remember that! ❤️
|
ADHD
|
**1. I set a 30 minute alarm window on the app Sleep Cycle.**
The app registers the best time to start waking you up within the window you set. The alarm sounds are so soothing and calming, and if you jostle your phone at all, the alarm stops for a few minutes. It is ***very*** easy to keep snoozing this app, but that's important.
**2. I set a phone alarm 1 minute before the final Sleep Cycle alarm (with additional alarms set for 10, 15, 20 minutes later)**
This alarm is annoying. By the time it happens, I'm already awake enough to know that I'm dreading hearing it. I still end up snoozing it.
**3. The final Sleep Cycle alarm happens.**
This alarm includes vibration so it's not quite as calming. To turn it off, I have to look at my phone and manually do it. By this point, I know if I stay in bed I'll have to the rest of my annoying phone alarms. Plus if I wake up, I get to look at my app and see what my sleep chart looks like.
Doing this gives me at least an hour of extra sleep each morning! I used to have ten alarms set and now I really only need the app plus one or two of those alarms.
|
ADHD
|
I just feel like it doesn't matter how good i get at something it's never enough for my standards.
But i'll have fleeting moment of high self esteem where i feel like i'm incredible, talented, etc, but my brain will always find another thing like 'oh what about your studies, you're still a failure in that way', then i'll focus on my studies, neglect my other hobbies and feel like a failure for not going to the gym often enough, which will translate to a constantly looping internal dialogue 'i'm ugly and lazy', another week of low self esteem just to build myself back up again.
Also i'm not kidding when i say i can feel like the hottest person in the world at 9am then by nighttime i'll be crying on the bathroom floor. Dude this ADHD stuff is no joke.
Like i can't win! Holy shit what is it gonna take for me to be happy with anything that i do for longer than a day? Sorry for the rant.
|
ADHD
|
Would be nice to read something positive and hopeful.
|
OCD
|
So I’m 25f and have had my fair share of dating experiences, but not a boyfriend. Also, I was diagnosed with ocd when I was 23, and unfortunately I have not found that medicine helps much. I’m currently on wellbutrin and anafranil but currently tapering off anafranil to try something new. A lot of my OCD revolves around relationships with important people in my life friends family etc and that something is going to go wrong because I did something and I am going to lose all of my friends etc. so it’s very hard for me to date.
Since I didn’t start really dating until I was out of college I have only one fling that lasted more than a month, but due to a very triggering experience and getting my heart broken I have not been the same in the dating field and lost my confidence. Now everytime I start to date someone new my Pure O goes into full effect and I get VERY attached and involved in the situation. Like we will go on one date and for days on end afterwards I am convinced that he is going to leave me, or I am not good enough etc. it will begin to take over my thoughts over and over again and I will just lose my shit. Maybe the reasoning why I am so insecure is because no one has ever loved me romantically and I’m scared to really keep on dating in general. I’ve taken a break to really focus on getting myself better but I know eventually I will have to get myself out there and I’m scared.
|
OCD
|
I'm tired, and I feel invalidated regarding my ptsd, which stems from really bad abuse. The thing is my memory is leaving me and I can't express that fear and it's terrifying me so horridly, and I don't know how to tell my friends that and my therapist doesn't seem to get how bad it is. Nothing against my therapist or friends, I just mask everything really well. I've been invalidated about everything in my life, so much so that it took me until my mom had dragged me out of bed and kicked me down the stairs to get me out of the house because she was sick of me inside during quarantine that I started even considering it was abuse. At that point, it had been going on at least since 6th grade, and I'm in 10th now. I was in 9th then, and I don't know how far back it goes because my memory is leaving and I'm so scared and I can't handle it all leaving again because it just completely tears me apart every single time, but my friends don't know how bad it gets so they stay near me and I forget to stay away from them to try and keep them safe and why couldn't my mom just love me or give me to my dad?
Regains self
Anyways, I am in a terrible headspace and I need someone to realize how serious this is because it's crazy for me and I can't handle it.
|
ptsd
|
Im 13 and i have a fear of being a pedophile but i dont know if i have ocd or if i am one
I had a dream where i masturbated and saw a kid and saw that they were sitting outside with their parents and my parents and other and i walked to a glass door and showed my dick and now im scared that it happend when it couldnt have happend and i also for some reason got a half boner while writing this when i didnt want it and also a kid came into my house while im writing this
|
OCD
|
I'm on this community because although it may not be specific to OCD (which i have) its the one where some people actually try to help. So for the last few days, at least clearly, i tend to get very sad and agitated ext but at the same time every day. (starts at 5 then gets much worse from 7 on wards.) there isnt always a trigger and the quick snap in mood is exhausting. if anyone has any thoughts they would be greatly appreciated thank you.
|
OCD
|
NSFW PART:
Okay so my whole entire life. Starting at like the age of 10, I’ve had a problem with masturbating. I feel like it makes me ugly physically, that is until I get a haircut. Once I get a haircut, I will feel attractive until the haircut either grows out or if I masturbate again. I also used to think a lot of bad things would happen, in HS I used to think things like “x y z would leave me” or “I won’t pass a test” I’m 24 now. These thoughts are so annoying, I can’t get rid of them. My brain just thinks it over and over and I can’t shut it up.
NORMAL PART:
My brain is always having a convo with itself. It’s not more so like someone else speaking, it’s more so me talking and responding to myself... unwillingly. My brain would be like “So what are we gonna do today?” “Eh Idk maybe play some video games” etc etc. and sometimes it WAKES ME UP IN MY SLEEP. Not even that, I’ve had songs stuck in my head that literally wake me up in my sleep. Side note: when I was a child I used to have to go to school where they had us bake cookies and use special dye in the cookies so that I would enjoy getting dirty. I used to do things like “if I don’t drive and shut my eyes for x seconds then something bad will happen” I managed to fight those but now it’s my face. I look in the mirror and feel like I look so ugly sometimes. Almost like my face changes. Especially without a beard. If I don’t have it , I feel like I look horrendous but people tell me otherwise. I also have ADD and Anxiety and I just want to be okay.
Please tell me if anyone else resonates with this.
|
OCD
|
The thought of tomorrow’s struggle is soul crushing. How will I ever face the day? Well I guess I got up today and yesterday, so I’ll probably just do it again tomorrow.
What will change? What will I do that day to make the next not seem so bad? It’s not impossible. I don’t have the answers yet, but I’ll get some rest and figure it out tomorrow.
|
depression
|
My OCD combined with ADHD hypersensitivity mean I can get really obsessive thoughts and feelings around anything my brain categorizes as “unclean”. there is very little logic to what those things are, tons of unclean things don’t bother me at all, and other things that are relatively clean may be a trigger.
One of those things is thrifted clothing. It’s something I really want to do, it is so sustainable and aligns with my values and budget. And I honestly have tried but without exception every item I thrift no matter how many times I wash it ends up in a corner of my closet bc when I try to wear it I am consumed by obsessive thoughts about it not being fully “clean” and not fully being mine. To an extent this is the same with anything else second hand including furniture or books but it’s less intense so I can manage it better.
I’d love advice but also know there probs isn’t a clear cut solution. Mainly I’m just hoping I’m not alone in this :(
|
OCD
|
This is a scary question because I know how easily people with mental illness can fall into alcoholism so I’m trying my best not to be dependent and quit. But seriously, when I drink I can write, respond to text and emails, work, exercise, etc. I think it’s some weird perfectionist thing where I have so much anxiety over doing anything because it’ll take me like a million years to complete a simple task. But when I’m drinking I don’t care about how good something needs to be so I get way more done. I feel like I’m more focused too without all the damn thoughts. This is a scary realization, just wondering if anyone else has felt this way and if you’ve overcome this.
|
OCD
|
I don’t know if this is the right sub but I’m crying right now. I get constantly screamed, yell at , and blamed by my parents. I constantly get called a dummy by them and today my mother screamed at me and said”DAMN DUMMY” . She continued to scream in my face. I always get hurt by everyone and I have such a nice heart. I spread love and happiness and I’m kind to people and I get hate and pain in return. I’m so tired of this why can’t somebody just treat me right.
|
depression
|
So I was just eating m&ms that I had separated by colours ( just because I felt like it) and all of the sudden while i was eating one I felt disgust because I realized I wasn’t eating them in colour order. Thing is, I’ve been wondering if I might have a mild form of it but I don’t ever have an inner voice so I wouldn’t know if it made me think like “ do this or you’ll die”. Sometimes I just have to fill abs empty my cup many times because it felt dirty or didn’t feel right, things need to feel even on my body like if I blink with one eye only I’ll feel very uncomfortable until I do the same with the other until it feels even. Anyways I was just wondering if what I mentioned could be symptoms of it or if I’m just analyzing myself too much.
|
OCD
|
So lately I don’t really feel the need to show basic emotions. Happy, sad, anger so on. But when I purposely impose something or try to make myself involved in basic social standards I fear rejection, and when it does happen by sithis it fucking hurts. I understand that things happen or other things come up and it’s no one fault yet the rejection I feel. I’d rather lay in a field filled with silk. Is it normal to feel this level of rejection or am I being overdramatic?
|
aspergers
|
You've probably already heard the expression "If you try to not think of a pink elephant you will never succeed at it." - As a person with OCD you've experienced this numerous times.
Intrusive thoughts are like that: they arrive uninvited and have no intention to leave - what's more, just like the pink elephant, they are often times silly and useless.
1. Think it out or work it out - Like I mentioned previously, SOMETIMES intrusive thoughts are useless, but not all the time: sometimes they can whisper you something useful (sometimes intrusive thoughts are actually parts of your subconscious that is trying to alarm you about something that is going wrong in your life and that you should pay attention to). It is the first step to identify if that is the case or not - if yes, then eureka, you got a new idea that you can put to good use; if not, then proceed to work it out !
Physical workout: believe it or not, "Mens sansa in corpore sano" is one of the most genius ideas humans have discovered. It seems counterintuitive to some of you to turn to physical exercise when you're disturbed in the mind - after all, what is the connection ? If the problem is in the mind it should be solved on a non-physical plane, right ? Not so simple. The medical field of neuroscience has made a big evolution in understanding how actually our physical activity influences our NEUROTRANSMITTERS & HORMONES - yes, these things influence OCD very much. For example, serotonin is such a hormone that is lower in persons with OCD - guess what ? Physical training increases serotonin levels. Of course there are many more hormones that come into play, but the point is that there is a bigger connection between mind and body than many would imagine.
Mental workout: you focus on what you focus. There's no such thing as "focusing on not focusing on a thing" because you automatically focus on what you don't want to focus on. Instead, focus on focusing: on good things (the next party with friends, a new achievement you made, a great meal you look forward to, that fantastic idea you read in a book), on bad things (disasters across the planet, the top leading diseases, financial downturn of the markets), on funny things (politics, family gatherings, Kim Kardashian). The point is to let your mind be active and agile and embrace life instead of being paralyzed and intimidated by some intrusive thoughts.
2. Don't get discouraged - What I wrote at point 1 is like running: the more you practice it, the better you get at it. You got to not let despair sink in because that is when every attempt becomes futile. You got to repeat yourself "I'm not getting discouraged. I am stronger than this. Demons try to make me crash, but that is not going to happen with me. Every second is a test, but I'm acing them without trembling." - You know, I am not a fan of mantras, but SOMETIMES they are vital. Make sure it's not bullshit, it's not cheesy or nauseous, but words have power, do understand this, and if you choose the right internal dialogue that is going to make the difference between heaven and hell.
3. They will visit you again - Why does a shower doesn't last for a lifetime ? Well firstly because no one has invented such a shower yet and secondly because that is how the shower works: you apply it every time you are dirty or sweaty. You don't say "I won't shower this time because it doesn't last anyway" - In the same way, this solution to intrusive thoughts WORKS, but it's not meant to be a "one-time-apply" fix. You got to do it rigorously and you'll see that intrusive thoughts will visit you from time to time, like an uninvited guest, but over time you'll be different, you won't feel so powerless and disturbed and intimidated by them. Even though they don't go away, there is a difference between being a weak person in front of them or being a strong person in front of them.
​
Wish you relief !
|
OCD
|
Hi all,
I promised myself around 3 years ago that if I will ever get rid of my somatic OCD, I will try to help others overcome theirs. So here's a mix of my story and what helped me.
3/4 years ago, I was at a friend's place and we smoked some weed. I had some anxiety at that time. I had a bad trip and had a panic attack. Even the next day all I thought about was my breathing and I could not get a satisfying breath. Once I was aware of my breathing I could not get rid of being aware, this freaked me out badly. I tried to breathe in deeply, but all I got was a short relief. This state went on for about a year or two, my Ocd shifted, and I read/tried a lot of things. Today, I'm pretty self-conscious and happy with my life. Let me try to show you what helped me.
Chances are you are aware of your breathing now. We don't have conscious power over what slips into our awareness/brain. At first, I did try everything to control/suppress thinking about it. I thought then I could simply get rid of that anxious feeling I got every damn time. First of all, it is okay to be aware of your breathing (or whatever it is for you). There is nothing wrong with that, you can't control what draws your attention/what comes into your mind/.. There is also nothing wrong with being anxious.
Or did you decide to be anxious? See, it wasn't your choice.
For me, I did try everything to get rid of my OCD. Really nearly everything. I knew I would crack the solution one day (and so are you). What helped me a lot was meditation. Although I didn't grasp the concept fully, I did commit to 10 minutes a day. (Try Headspace's basic course, it's really good and not too esoteric, etc..)
In meditation, if a thought slips into your mind you don't have to get rid of it. Same goes for emotions/feelings. There is nothing to do for you.
Your mind is like a wild horse a very nice story described it. If you put it on a tight leash the horse won't feel comfortable and will panic. If you put it on a long leash it will eventually calm down and rest in a balanced state. This is exactly what happens with OCD. Even if you might believe it right now, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing wrong with your thoughts, feelings, or any processes of your body. You are not so special. Just a body like everyone else's. I used to think my somatic processes were somewhat different from everyone else's (looking back that was really stupid). If you try and control your OCD/your brain, you won't get anywhere. If you let your thoughts act weird/ your anxiety come up and just let it be, it will wash over. You'll be fine. Just do whatever you would do if you didn't have any OCD. That way your mind&body will learn to see the OCD for what it is. A bluff. Be bold. Try it, your perspective will shift over time.
So I meditated every day and whenever anxiety/OCD came up, I just repeatedly told myself: "There is nothing to do about it". Over time, I felt that I was getting way more distance to my anxiety/somatic OCD. Really, you don't need to do anything for or against it, it is fucking normal, breathing, for example, is just a bodily process, it might feel weird and you might be freaking out, but really if you do nothing about it, just let it do its thing you will see it for what it is. Try it.
Up to today, I am still getting aware of my breathing. It's not a bad thing though. Just happens, then my attention shifts somewhere else.
What action steps would I recommend to a younger self?
1. **"There is nothing to do about it"** \--> this means don't run away from shit though. Just don't fucking try and find a solution for your all so special/wrong breathing, let it be. You don't have to do anything about it. Get my point? Again, there is nothing for you to do about your thoughts/OCD. There is actually nothing wrong with you and that's why there is nothing to do for you.
2. **Meditate daily.** Best case in the morning directly after you wake up. I used to check my phone right after I woke up, shitty habit. What a way to start your day. Meditating 20 min after I wake up was a fucking gamechanger. I just feel so much more at peace over the course of the day. Try headspace's basic courses and move on to the intermediate courses. This will guide you to your own practice. Also while meditating you focus on your breathing, which lets you face your fear and with time you will see clearer.
3. **Give less fucks what others think of you.** I used to be really worried that my friends would think whatever, abandon me from the group/ whatever other stupid thing I could think of... Be honest. Don't fake a smile so that people like you. Actually, it's way more interesting if someone has their own personality. Please have your **own** personality, don't be another faker. Otherwise, you are really just boring, and you are also always on the defense because people could find out you're only acting. Simply, don't act. It impresses people. But also takes some cojones.
I hope this helps someone. If you have questions shoot. Don't be afraid of any questions. Always question everything and think critically for yourself. There might be something you call bullshit on in my post. Hit me. What I wrote is nothing but the truth. It worked for me and I feel better than ever before.
Have a good one. Don't give up on yourself. Take up your responsibility and improve every day. That's what I would tell my panicked self. I know that sometimes it feels lost. You are not alone and you will make it through if you try.
|
OCD
|
Since moving into my own place my contamination OCD has gone through the roof. When I got here the place was disgusting, I swear it was a health violation and even my family without OCD thought so too. I got a chunk taken out of my first months rent because of it but I'd rather it had been clean from the beginning. I guess this left a preconceived notion in my mind about this place being dirty, and now I feel like it is no matter what I do.
What's even worse is I feel even dirtier. I have an obsession with clean clothes and most of all oil and sweat. I cannot STAND the feeling of my face being oily and I constantly have a wet cloth with me for it. I have cystic acne and naturally oily skin which is 👌
I can't even explain this to anyone else either, they don't understand that my oily skin and painful acne makes me legitimately suicidal, and they think I'm joking. It's so far from a joke, I've had the recurring thought lately that there's no point in living if I'm not clean. I've even turned down a girl I like spending the weekend with me because I feel like she's dirty and will contaminate everything more. I feel so terrible for thinking that :( I'm also in recovery from an ED which is hard because now I'm avoiding certain foods that "feel" oily or too starchy and "dirty."
I'm so sick of this. I'm trying to get a therapist appointment but the earliest is next month. I'm doing my best until then but the massive anxiety around all of this makes me want to cry. I hate feeling resentment for my body and constantly telling it that's it's bad bc of things it cant control. Also my water bill from doing laundry every day isn't great either. Maybe I should buy more clothes and towels so I'll have more of a clean selection and won't have to do it as much.
Handwashing my dishes has proved very triggering to me too and since my dishwasher isn't fixed still (thank u landlord you're a gem 💋) I'm gonna be stocking up on paper plates and plastic silverware.
I'm sorry for rambling, I needed a sympathetic place that might see where I'm coming from even if its a little. I'm fucking sick of it :)
|
OCD
|
All the time I have problems like this:
* I say a thing and the NT person scans for and finds within it a hidden message that was not there and responds to the hidden message. E.g.
> What time will you be home?
> (hidden message that was not there) "Make sure you are home at some unreasonable time"
> Response: I will be home as soon as I damn well can. Why do you put so much pressure on me???
> Me: I would just like to know when you will be home so I can plan ahead.
* They say things that contain hidden messages, by tone of voice, body language, or irony pr insinuation that I can't detect.
I respond to the literal message.
They then berate me for not listening.
Even when I ask people not to look for hidden messages and to try to communicate with me in a straightforward way, they seem to be unable to help themselves, and don't even realize what they are doing.
For example they might say "Do you feel hot in here?".
(Me: do not realize this is a coded request to open the window).
Later, they berate me for not opening the window when they asked me to.
They literally think they asked me to open the window.
Any strategies?
|
aspergers
|
It's ok! It happens to all of us. My little brother let me know yesterday that my room is and I quote "spicy" for the smell. Wash your sheets pillows and mattress if you haven't done so lately! Vacuum or mop if you can. It's Normal to not notice the smell of your room if you spend a ton of time in it like I do!
|
ADHD
|
For the last week I have been obsessing about death and what happens after. Every day gets worse and I’m at the point where its taking every ounce of energy I have to not curl up in a fetal position and stay there. Does anyone have any tips on how to quiet these thoughts?
|
OCD
|
Hello, I have been researching similar posts trying to see if I can find any answers without mich luck. I have really bad PTSD nightmares about being back in my parents house at LEAST once a week, usually more. They are extremely vivid, they last what feels like the entire night, and they are extremely draining. In my PTSD dreams I am always back in their house and trying to run away but I keep being brought back. Almost every single time I am sobbing and cant stop. Like on the ground ugly scream crying and cant stop, even while I am running. Its really draining, I wake up feeling emotionally and physically exhausted and it FEELS like I have been crying all night.
I couldnt get my doctor or therapist to take me seriously. My doctor basically said "Idk make sure you dont eat before bed" which I made sure I didnt do and hasnt helped. I am looking for a new therapist. I am losing a lot of sleep and tbh it just brings all the trauma to the front of my mind when I should be getting ready for work. I have been out of my parents house over 8 years now and the dreams are still so intense and frequent.
My question is: If you had these or know someone who did, what the hell did you do to deal with them??? I have tried a few things but at this point I will do anything, I cant handle going back there every other night. Sorry wasnt supposed to be this long thank you for reading...
|
ptsd
|
For as long as I can remember I have done this, whether I'm calm or anxious, happy or upset, focused or super distracted. Mostly unconsciously, I touch my face.
1. I touch my lips. Tapping, running my finger over them. I intentionally keep them chapped sometimes for maximum friction and texture (gross?) Just realized I'm touching my lips as I write this!
2. I touch my eyebrows, rubbing, messing them up, smoothing them out. Sometimes picking at them. (Have to force myself not to do that. I don't wanna look like an emoji.)
3. I touch my eyelashes, stroking, gently pulling, running my finger over them like they're paint brush bristles sometimes.
I do it more often and more vigorously when anxious or upset, but I do it no matter my mood or state every day.
I have to be extra vigilant when I'm outside because touching your face is how you get sick. Sometimes I slip up, but I'm pretty good about not doing it when my hands are dirty.
I'm wondering if this is just a me quirk or if other people do this. Should I bring it up during my assessment or is this just a dumb thing to point at and say, "look, an ADHD symptom!" I don't wanna cheapen my legitimate concerns with something that has nothing to do with ADHD.
TL;DR do you touch your face (e.g., lips, eyebrows, and eyelashes) too, or is it just me? Should I bring it up during my assessment?
|
ADHD
|
>The nature of this PTSD pharmacotherapy crisis is three-fold.
>
>
>First, there are only two medications currently approved for the treatment of PTSD by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), sertraline (Zoloft) and paroxetine (Paxil).These medications are helpful but are believed to work via the same mechanism of action, and both produce reduction in symptom severity rather than remission of PTSD symptoms. This efficacy gap may be particularly great for patients treated in VA settings.
>
>Second, the limited efficacy of the FDA-approved treatments for PTSD has necessitated poly-pharmacy for the vast majority of patients treated. These off-label medications, as monotherapy or in combination with other medications, have not been studied adequately for the treatment of PTSD. Therefore, most patients are treated with medications or combinations for which there is little empirical guidance regarding benefits and risks.
>
>Third, research and development of new medications for the treatment of PTSD has stalled and there is a void in new drug development. There has not been a medication approved for the treatment of PTSD since 2001, despite the significant need. In a survey ofClinicalTrials.gov, there were few pharmaceutical industry-sponsored clinical trials for PTSD that have enrolled patients since 2006: one Phase III clinical trial, four Phase II clinical trials, and no Phase I clinical trials (see The Limited ResearchPortfolio, below). There is no doubt that there is a deficient pipeline of new PTSD medications and it is uncertain about how to best identify new targets for medication development.Even if there were a more robust investment in PTSD research, questions would remain regarding the optimal design for these studies.
[It Is Time to Address the Crisis in the pharmacotherapy of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Consensus Statement of the PTSD Psychopharmacology Working Group - 2017](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/articles/article-pdf/id48035.pdf)
What will make governments and drug companies take PTSD seriously, and is the focus on drugs that can't be patented (MDMA, Psilocybin) holding back research and funding?
|
ptsd
|
I just answered "No I did not enjoy it." and left the exam room.
Teacher was a PITA the day after and made a fuss about me not "reading between the lines" and didn't want to give me any points.
Got second opinions from other (same subject) teachers and got 2 out of 5 points instead of the zero she wanted.
I love my technicalities.
Edit: Context - I had a fever and was under sensory overload at the time and I took the question as it was written.
|
aspergers
|
I wanna be someone's favorite person too
when Is it my turn to be happy
|
depression
|
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some help from people who take/have taken adderall
I’m currently on XR 20mg and have been for a couple years, and it’s come to my attention recently that it really isn’t working for me anymore.
I decided to do some research because I know people are prescribed upwards of 60 and wasn’t sure if it was a tolerance issue or it just wasn’t working for me in general. I decided to take 40mg instead and see if it helped.
Which it totally did! I literally said to my mom that I felt that that is what it is supposed to be like taking a med for adhd. I felt so motivated and could actually work through the time I set for myself. For example, i have a huge gap between two of my classes and always plan to work in between them. However, after about half way through the time I get bored, unfocused, tired, etc. and I usually end up going back to my dorm and laying in bed lol. But for the first time yesterday I actually worked the whole time! I felt so proud of myself
I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience of building up a tolerance and having to up their dose and specifically anyone who was on 20mg, how much did they increase your dose ? My therapist said she thought think going from 20-40 may be extreme but I actually just don’t know and am looking for feedback from anyone who has been on either doses or has upped a dose etc
TL;DR Looking for feedback from people who take/have taken adderall and if they have built a tolerance and if they upped their dose and by how much. Specifically 20mg upwards
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes school's ask you to rate your learning, and ask you to tell "what did you learn"
I have always struggled with this because i somewhat already knew everything about the subject in question.
I didn't learn anything new so why not say nothing?
But then it sounds like i didn't pay attention.
But if i just add the stuff we were being taught i just feel like it sounds dumb.
Like obviously i already knew these things...
It's just so confusing
|
aspergers
|
TLDR - I've just discovered that I have ADHD and feel a bit let down by the response from people in my life and worried that people are judging me for my ADHD symptoms
EDIT - thanks so much to everyone that gave me advice or support, I really appreciate it and I'll take onboard all the advice. My friend and I made up, she said she will be more considerate next time and I realised that I need to stop taking everything as a personal attack when sometimes it isn't.
I've only just recently discovered that I have ADHD and am in the process of getting diagnosed. I live at uni and not with my parents and am 22. My mum is really negative about people having anything "wrong" with them so when I told her about this, she didn't believe me then said things like "maybe you do have ADHD because you won't shut up going on about it" when I tried to explain the symptoms to her. After this, she tried to call me to arrange going to the theatre and meeting some of her friends at the pub over Christmas break and I just said no because I don't want to do nice things with her when she isn't there for me. I had an argument with her and she apologised but wanted me to get over it quickly so I didn't accept the apology and it was super harsh but I felt like it was neccessary. The whole situation makes me feel sad though.
Also, I have a best friend who is there for me more and for the most part is great but I've noticed that she can be passive aggressive or snaps at people at times and we went to the supermarket together and she kept snapping at me whenever my ADHD made me not focus. I started crying after and was upset because it was the same day as things with my mum and also I can't change the way I am and I don't want people to attack me because of it.
Also, I realised that growing up, I'd constantly be masking my symptoms and it would make me anxious to feel like I have to hide myself so now I've decided to stop doing that as long as in class etc I don't distract others and also still try to concentrate. It's way nicer but I'm worried that people think I'm weird for being really restless or blurting ideas out a bit more.
Just wanted to get that off my chest haha :)
|
ADHD
|
Hello, I was going to classes for my general but then the pandemic hit and was having a really hard time with not procrastinating and staying focused on what I needed to do (especially math its not my strong suit). So then I dropped out and took a break. Now I'm wanting to go back but im having the hardest time having the motivation to do it and worried that I'm going to fail and waste my time and money like the previous year.
I'm currently not medicated and I think that is making it so much harder. I've been trying to think of courses that would hold my interest in so maybe I might have a chance to succeed. If any of you went to school or currently in school what did you study or major in? (just wanting ideas also curious to see what other people do). Also is there anything that you did as a hack that helped you out during classes? That would be helpful as well. thank you.
|
ADHD
|
Does this resonate with anyone else? I often feel myself longing for a connection with someone. I look around when I'm out in public and see couples holding hands and kissing and I'm saddened by my solidarity, but at the same time I'm always so eager to get out of social situations and back to my house. I want love, and I want to feel seen, but paradoxically I also want to be invisible. I'm not sure which of these paths will bring me happiness, but I'm not sure that I'd be able to pick the romantic, social path even if I wanted to due to my awkwardness and exhaustion and the amount of time I spend inside my head. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my life. Why is everything so difficult?
|
aspergers
|
Iv been thinking instead of killing myself, moving to another country with a new environment might help, i live in a shitty small town and I feel like I’m just dying here wasting my life,maybe I should kill my self I don’t know I’m 20 years old and have gone through a lot already, but maybe moving will help I don’t know I’m just venting
|
depression
|
I started taking my meds about three months ago with Strattera (which did nothing at all but giving me headaches, erectile dysfunction and problems sleeping) and then 18mg of Concerta for two weeks which were great. After those two weeks the psychiatrist suggested going up to 27mg as some of the symptoms were still present up to a certain extent. After the first few days, I started feeling strange, not only I felt too energized but also a nasty effect appeared, which now I know is quite rare, depersonalization. Even though I felt I could do a bit more things, if I mistakenly got into doing the wrong thing, well, good luck moving me from It. On top of that hyper sexuality became the norm, which in addition to the previous was well, just right away terrible (all day watching porn and thinking about sex). At the end of the day as the meds started to wear off then depersonalization would start to kick in. After two weeks, I was suggested to go back to 18mg once again. But I was already used to 27mg so if the positive effects were somewhat ok when I started now they were very mild. Two weeks more passed, went back to 27mg. The same nasty depersonalization effects appeared, just this time not as productive but with all the other stuff (hyper sexuality, depersonalization, wrong hyperfocus) and after the two weeks I was already to give up.
But I remembered how well the meds worked the first two weeks and I didn’t want to let that go so I gave the 36mg and 27mg (7 days one and 7days the other) a try and oh man, if it wasn’t a trip. The 36mg felt right away taking 3 redbulls and even though the depersonalization was the same intensity it was just too much. At the end of the day I just started to wonder why I was on meds, and the few days I either woke up late or I just refused to take them I would look at the date and say, this has felt like a bad 2 month dream, I miss my old self, It was truly sad. I was quite a bit reluctant to take such a low dose as I read it is the minimum possible. But after this 8 weeks of feeling miserable at the end of the day, and being my ADHD quite mild, I am sure that even though the 18 mg require an extra bit of effort from my side, I will try to stick to this dose. At the end each body is different and this was just a painful reminder of that…
|
ADHD
|
I was still a senior in highschool at 18. My friend started dating a freshman. So 4 freshman ended up joining my general friend group. They were exposed to so much
For example, one stayed over for a sleep over and not only did I let him sleep in my bed, I let him cuddle up to me when he asked to. It litterally did not cross my mind that there was anything wrong with this.
And once I was at one of their houses, and they told me to sit on their lap. I said no, I think that's weird. And they told me other friends did, so that reassured me that it must be normal to do. But then I still felt uncomfortable and when I mentioned that it felt inappropriate they said "im not attracted to you, but I guess i could do sexual stuff for you if you want" so then I figured I should just shut my mouth so that he doesn't do that 🤢🤮
Last one, and worst one with that group. Needs a small amount of backstory. I had an ex (bf at the time) who tried to pull my shirt up at a party when we were drunk. I struggled to pull it back down or say stop but felt super guilty after because his friend called him out on it. So I swore I would take it off next time I got drunk with him, to make up for it. (Unfortunately a very common theme in my life is Someone does something I dont like, I set a boundry, I feel guilty or weird about making a boundry, I do that thing I dont like of my own volition to make up for it.)
The next time I got drunk I kept asking if I should or shouldn't take off my top. I was looking for an affirmative "yes you should" or "no you shouldn't" but people kept saying "if you want.".. which didn't click for me as an actual response. Apparently I choose to have it taken off (I was told I took it off myself but I *do* remember my bf taking it off because I litterally couldn't lift up my arms to do it)
And big issue with that? TWO PEOPLE from that group of friends (meaning two freshman) were there. I woke up with one litterally cradling me because I was Apparently shaking bad and going in and out of consciousness. And then I remeber waking up in another room and the OTHER one was holding me. And I was like, "what's going on!!??" And tried to get up but i couldn't, and he was like "you keep waking up and panicking. Its okay, come here" and I passed back out.
Its been eating me alive ever since I realized how bad that all was *and* that as the legal adult, it was all my fault. I let them into my life while I was A) being a little sexually abused and had sex as a special interest, I think partially to cope, and B) was drinking *heavily* in order to forget the things that happened to me the last time I drank heavily 🤦♀️ as well as litterally drinking with the goal of passing out so I didn't have to feel anything my bf does. It was bad.
Now I wonder if those children (now adults) have any damage from me being in their lives. And I think maybe I should have called the cops, and went to jail for them seeing my boobs so im not sure why I didn't tell anyone. (The freshman told a bunch of other kids but never told a teacher or officer to my knowledge)
|
aspergers
|
Not looking for answers or assurance here, just need to dump my thoughts.
I worry excessively about what other people think of me, and it's to my detriment. It's frustrating, 'cause it's not that I'm even doing anything wrong in these little moments, but I'll create a scenario in my head where, based on one seemingly innocuous interaction, people will falsely assume the worst about me.
It always hits me with things I can't control or know. Fuck this disorder
|
OCD
|
Now we all know us ADHD folk have a tendency to waste time, to get distracted and off track. But I feel as if we also might be more likely to get upset at ourselves over this. For example, last night knowing I had work this morning I fired up my Xbox hoping to play for an hour or so before going to sleep, but somehow after responding to a text I ended up in an Instagram scrolling loop and promptly fell asleep, waking up to my alarm and finding my tv on, but realizing I never got a chance to play. It might seem like nothing but I was upset at the fact that I had this free time to do something I enjoy and I squandered it, and now I have to go to work and deal with my actual responsibilities. While we all have experiences like this I was wondering if others could relate to this same feeling of wasting your free time if you don’t use it exactly how you planned to.
|
ADHD
|
To start off, Ive never been diagnosed with any mental
illness. (I also have never been to the hospital or a
Psychiatrist for any thing related to the matter)
I believe I may have depression, I feel as if a lot of everyday stuff or random things get me severely upset. Such as anything "cute" will make me sad for some reason, anything nostalgic will make me upset. I constantly think of events in my life that were horrible and it makes me cry.
I know I have friends and my family but I feel so alone and abandoned all the time.
Ive always had periods in my life (I am now 20M) where I just felt way to sad and couldn't get the energy to go to school or do anything mostly. And eventually most of my sadness when I was too worn out would turn to anger.
Recently, it has been getting worse and exponentially too.
Ive stopped going to college and work and I got fired from my job. I am also going through a break up with someone I truly adored and it all feels like everyday is my new worse day.
But on the the psychosis, Ive never had these but since I
started having troubles with not wanting to go to work or school and started feeling even more sad then usual the past 3 months. Ive started having little "episodes" similar to I guess what I hear is a panic attack, but I feel severely sad during these 30min-2hr "episodes" and usually I would have these 1-2x a year but Ive been having one 2x a week to just about daily. But the past 4 days Ive noticed really horrible
stuff.
Firstly, it seems like my consciousness has a mind of its own.I can try focusing on tv or my game and my mind will just keep telling me horrible things such as "kill yourself" or making scenarios such as imagining my ex with other guys having sex and such. And its getting to the point where my episodes are literally a nightmare because I cant control
these thoughts.
Secondly, this has happened only twice so far (yesterday and the day before and thankfully not today" but hallucinations. was driving home while having an episode and for a split second It looked like someone literally like "flashed" into my passenger seat then flashed out. Then the second time was I was taking a shower (also while having an episode) and
I swear on my momma I saw someone through the shower glass door someone undressing and both have been a girl.
Lastly, this is the least apparent one but during episodes I get a scared feeling like something is around me.
Since Ive been having suicidal thoughts and these episodes have been getting worse I decided to check online on what I should do and keep seeing stuff about "Psychosis and Psychotic Depression" and thought I would ask you guys.
Thank you for reading and I appreciate any answers or
advice. I understand the rules are against diagnosis, but if anyone could "guess" lol.
TI;dr Ive been having more frequent depressive episodes and through these episodes Ive been experiencing hallucinations, feeling of fear, and my voice in my head telling my to hurt
myself.
|
depression
|
I really need to stop using my phone. Everytime I do, I go on instagram and scroll through endless mediocre posts and then start watching reels for an hour or two. Once I snap out of that trance, I go on youtube to watch some good content. Then, uh-oh. there's an interesting looking short I kinda wanna watch. Next thing I know, I'm watching unironic sigma male grindset Elon Musk simp tiktok shorts.
Does anyone have any advice when it comes to this? I feel like I do nothing productive. Whenever I get home, I'm immedietly on my phone starting this cycle. Then by the time I go to bed, I realize I've done nothing all day and feel an existential dread of being stuck in this loop for the rest of my life. There's so many things I want to do, but I feel like every modern luxury is made to make you slip into this comfortable trance where you forget you exist in a real world with real things.
Sorry if this came off a bit rambly, I'm just getting really tired of this cycle perpetuation itself, and I don't really have any idea how to stop it. Anytime I look up what to do, it's the same neurotypical tidbits you'd see on r/thanksimcured.
|
ADHD
|
I'm UK based so Therapy is free but the waiting list is ridiculous. I did 17 weeks but they didn't think I was ready for the PTSD stuff so they focused on the Anxiety. I then got discharged and told to wait a month and rejoin the waiting list. Now I'm under the home treatment team but you can't be under two services at once. "Home Treatment" have also told me that they can't help me, they can only do risk assessments. I just want to get better but no one will help me because they see me as a risk.
When I'm at a heightened level of anxiety I sometimes dissociate. I've lost hours and even days and in these moments I'm not present.
Does anyone else's PTSD put them at risk from themselves?
|
ptsd
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.