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so i was just swapped themes like 10 minutes ago, and my thoughts are what would happen after i killed someone, well hold on im gonna explain better, so i was having thoughts about plastic forks in general, and then i was somewhat upset my mom forgot to buy some, and i was slightly have some harm ocd thoughts abit before but i somewhat brushed them off.
anyway i had a thought about stabbing my mother, i usually have intrusive thoughts about harming myself aswell, anyway i then got an intrusive thought almost quickly after about maybe if i was in prison they'd have plastic forks, or something along the lines of that, and tbh i started having anxiety, so i really dont remember, but i think its simular.
also question, can intrusive thought happen if you have deep trust issues and somewhat anger at someone? cause i do know that i have slight anger at my mother, i don't hate her at all, and its somewhat over past issues i really need to let go. plus the anger is somewhat subconscious, like it is somewhat anger over something that is not her fault, i think its misplaced anger anyway, cause i don't really feel angry with her. i have alot to talk about in therapy
anyway i feel like talking about my problems here makes me feel slightly less anxious and takes my mind off of it tbh. like i just let it off my chest.
anyway whoever reads this, have a nice day :)
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OCD
|
As way of an explanation I’ve been part of a Roleplaying group for many years, and I usually take the role of the gamesmaster, but sometimes I want to play a character.
Now recently I asked the group if someone else could take over for me, while I had a break as I’m feeling a bit burnt out.
Since then the other members have
1) cancelled the next gaming session, they’ve all suddenly remembered other engagements
2) ghosted me on social media, by not responding to my messages in our messenger chat room, even though I can see they’re online
Over the years I’ve contributed massively to this group, not only do I run the games, I often buy the games, and most of the food we eat, as well as driving some of them to and from the sessions.
I know that I am rather agreeable with my friends simply because it’s so difficult to make new ones, so I’ll nearly do anything to avoid losing the ones I have.
I’m starting to feel that they only value me for what I do, and they’re not real friends at all, I’m both angry and upset over this and honestly don’t know what to do, I feel like breaking off all contact with them.
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aspergers
|
Hey all,
I was prescribed Prazosin to stop my PTSD nightmares & took it last night for the first time and was so hopeful.
Turns out it didn’t do anything, which I guess makes sense since I’m sure my body has to get used to it. I was just really bummed this morning when I woke up.
My question is, if any of you have had it, how long did it take for the medication to take effect?
Thank you so much!
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ptsd
|
I'm 22 and I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger like about 10 or something and me and my family kinda forgot about it thinking it will just go away with time and I've got through all these years as all of the symptoms was just me being lazy or bad in school and all of the other things about ADHD like being super creative. A few months ago I came across this subreddit and I saw a few of what I thought was my personality as symptoms here and I asked my mom about ADHD and well.... You guessed it I was diagnosed with it before. Here's my question, I saw that some meds will help me decrease the symptoms and all but I'm afraid of if I took the meds it may change me into a boring guy with no creativity. But in the other hand I'm a med student in my 5th year (I have one year left and honestly I don't know how I got here) and I really struggle with studying and I want to have a better GPA. So.... Any advice?
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ADHD
|
I have absolutely no appetite or energy to even try to eat something. If I do eat, it’s very little and I get full. I know my body wants me to eat, cuz my stomach has been hurting but it’s like my brain thinks I just had a thanksgiving dinner. I don’t know what to do.
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depression
|
Hi, I'm still on a very long waiting list and I couldn't find a private and available psychiatrist for ADHD, so I'll still be unmedicated for the time being. However, I'm jobless right now, and I don't see any way I could maintain one in my current state, so I'd like to ask you guys about some way I could cover at least the rent (300€).
My parents are helping me with money, but I want to lower the burden and be somewhat more independent. I'm also not in the US, but in France :/ It's hard to keep a job when I can't even get out of bed regularly...
I realize I'm asking a lot, so thank you for any tips you can give me
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ADHD
|
I am a university freshman this year and have been facing a lot of problems academically and socially. I turned to school counsellor and he thought I need to get diagnosis from the psychiatrist in my uni. So I went to see the psychiatrist and she asked me lots of questions. In that 1 hour appointment, she concluded that I have ADD. I knew ADD is an outdated term but anyway, she said my best bet was to get therapy outside of uni (which is going to be expensive) and take medicines at the same time.
By "formal" diagnosis, I mean a thorough report about which type of ADHD I have and what problems are they causing me. Even though I get the diagnosis in uni, the psychiatrist didn't provide me any report or details. I felt empty after the diagnosis. I didn't know what exactly I hope to get out of this diagnosis but I felt like there's still something wrong with me. I watch many videos and read articles and forums about ADHD to get a better idea. I try hard to convince and coax myself into improving my symptoms. I really tried hard and tried to think positively but I still feel very bad. I want to excel in my academics but I feel like I am just floating in uni. I feel like something is wrong and I really don't want to be in this state anymore.
If I get a diagnosis outside of uni, it's going to be expensive and I am worried that after it, I still feel empty. I am curious how do you feel after getting your diagnosis. I don't know exactly how to put my experience into words but any advice is appreciated.
|
ADHD
|
I recently saw and read my witness statement from 1am, the night that it happened. It brought back memories that I've been hiding away for years, and now I feel like a complete mess.
But I have to remember as many words and details as possible. How can I remember what I'd rather forget, while staying as sane as possible?
I don't want to have a breakdown in the courtroom.
|
ptsd
|
hi im quite new to reddit so im not very sure how to go about formatting this but yeah.
so i have dermatillomania (picking scabs and skin)
but i also eat the scabs? so i was wondering if that would be related to pica? or what it would be related to?
(also im autistic and im not very sure how to title the subject of this, so i just said question. sorry if thats too vague.)
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OCD
|
hii guys. anyone else autistic think their ocd is way fucking worse b/c of high empathy? i struggle with morality ocd a lot and doing the right thing and the empathy makes it a thousanndd times worse
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OCD
|
I’m 17 and I’m worried I’m attracted to like 12 year old girls. I’m not and I feel gross thinking about it. But my OCD keeps giving me thoughts of young girls doing sexual things and it feels like I subconsciously like it and I keep replaying the thoughts to check if I like it. It makes me feel hot and start to panic (not hot as in attractive but hot as in my body becomes warm). How do I know if I like these or not? I don’t wanna keep replaying these thoughts but I wanna know if I really like them
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OCD
|
Does anyone have any meaningful examples, in their own lives, of successful autism workplace accommodations? Or is this just the government pretending to help?
My view is that outside of maybe allowing ear muffs, that we are failing in the workplace just because most jobs are not suited for us, and then tech, engineering jobs are too difficult for most of us? This leaves us with basically low wage jobs and maybe some quirky side business ideas or stock trading or something to supplement the income.
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aspergers
|
I feel like shit and now I'll explain why. Basically today morning I went to my uncle's house and so far so good, then this afternoon I went to my other 2 uncles and it was horrible. I know them, obviously, and they are probably the coldest uncles on the earth. As soon as I arrived they didn't deign to say hello, I smiled but they were like "😐". The problem is that when I go to someone's house, whether they are relatives or not, and they don't even say hello, I don't feel welcomed at all, I feel extremely inadequate and I start to get nervous and feel sad, but like A LOT. In fact I felt like crying and I was very angry and anxious, I felt really out of place, I did not feel comfortable, AT ALL. Well at some point my mom and my uncle went upstairs because my uncle wanted to show them the the place (since the house is new, it's 3 years old actually but this is the first time that we see it) and my mom told me twice "come and see" and then I got up and slammed (slammed is a big word) my phone on the table (but not slamming it like you slam your hand for example, I can't explain it hahaha) because I was feeling really bad psychologically. (i add that in the morning my other aunt did bodyshaming on me and i was hurt,even now) btw the "bang" on the table was heard and now I'm afraid that my aunt and uncle think I'm rude (if they heard it) and I'm afraid that I gave a bad impression..fortunately with the passing of the minutes I started to feel better and I was more friendly. I swear to you guys, I didn't mean to be like this, I didn't do it on purpose, for heaven's sake, but when I don't feel welcomed I feel very inadequate and my brain blacks out, I don't know how to control it, and then I start obsessing over the fact that maybe they that i'm rude. I would like some opinions or advice, I don't know, I just needed to vent, I hate keeping things inside....
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OCD
|
hi guys! has anyone here talked to their partner about how reassurance affects their ocd? I have been with my bf for over a year but recently I have started having rocd, which I didn’t experience before. it’s super hard, especially bc we’re long distance, to deal with and I HATE that ocd is attaching to my relationship (of course it is bc I value the relationship lol). if my bf or I are feeling insecure, we will sometimes be like hey can you validate me about x topic, and that is totally fine and unrelated to ocd. however, sometimes I will go into freak out mode where I think he hates me and be texting him asking if he loves me (compulsion). obviously in these times he wants to comfort me and tell me he loves me and it will be okay, but I know that technically continues my ocd cycle. obviously I need to work on stopping texting him to ask for this reassurance, but how have you explained this to your partner and is there anything you’ve asked them to do to help you? thanks so much :)
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OCD
|
Got offered a great job a state away in an area where I already know people, so I'm leaving the city and state I grew up in probably for good on Friday.
Never anticipated having a hard time with that if it ever happened, but man the last half week or so has been rough as hell.
Gone a few nights without sleeping, and on the nights I have managed to get some sleep I've been up until 5 or 6 in the morning, followed by the typical nightmares, and waking up startled as hell ready to knock the teeth out of someone's head. Haven't had a "normal" night since Thursday of last week.
Feel like garbage, foggy as hell, and I really just don't know how to feel about anything anymore.
Lot of really messed up stuff has happened here, including the events that caused my ptsd.
Lost a good friend of mine 3 years ago, nearly got murdered, made a lot of really bad choices, got myself into a lot of really bad situations, damn near perminatley fucked my life up real good, and in a lot of ways I'm still picking up the pieces.
I'm looking forward to starting over, or at least I feel like I should be.
The last 3 years here have been rough to say the least, but there have still been good times, and there are a lot of people and places I'm going to miss like hell. Cried for a couple hours after quitting my job today. Almost never do that. Didn't even like the place, but I guess it was kind of a "well shit, this is happening, and there's no backing out now" type of thing.
Whole situation has me torn to a million pieces, and I'm an absolute wreck.
Haven't talked to any of my friends about it because I'm not typically the type to show any sort of emotion over near anything, and I'm pretty sure they would think I'm overreacting. I think I'm overreacting.
Going to see my therapist for the last time tomorrow night. Won't be able to find a new one in the state I'm moving to until I find perminate housing over there. My insurance doesn't cover non emergency stuff outside of the state i live in, ill have to get a whole new policy once I'm living there, and I can't do that until I have an address there.
Anyone here ever been in this situation? Lost as hell and looking for advice on litterally anything at this point
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ptsd
|
hey y’all. i have an adhd assessment scheduled for next week. do any of you have experience with a psychiatrist saying your cannabis use gets in the way of a proper diagnosis? i smoke daily. i feel like the doc may say a lot of the things i think of as symptoms of adhd are *actually* due to the ghanja. specifically these aspects: horrific memory and sense of direction, bad filter/interrupt others, distractibility, hypervigilance/hyper responsive to stimuli, a brain that generally vrrrrrroooommms.
ps they said the assessment is 6 hours… any tips from someone who’s done an assessment this long?
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I'm just coming to terms that I have OCD. I had my "Oh god, I really DO have OCD" moment only a week ago. I've really started to notice how much this disorder affects my life and how much I really do obsess over certain things. One of those things is medical concerns. You can call it extreme hypochondria I guess but it's not really so much saying that I *have* these illness(es) but I'm obsessing over the *possibility* of having these illness(es).
For example, I have a red spot on my breast currently. It's probably just body acne, I popped it. It's still red and irritated. But my brain is just yelling, "CANCER. CANCER. CANCER. IT'S PROBABLY CANCER. CALL YOUR DOCTOR NOW. IT'S PROBABLY CANCER. YOU MIGHT DIE SOON. CANCER. IT'S PROBABLY CANCER." And I can't get this thought out of my head... I'm not sure I can distract myself efficiently so I don't focus on these, honestly, terrifying thoughts.
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OCD
|
Hello Good People! I hope someone here can help me with this.
I'm looking for as specific an account as possible on the effects of PTSD. Could someone point out a detailed account of an actual persons experiences over a period of years. If there is an account in which the PTSD was caused specifically by a car accident that would be great. And most specifically, an account in which no one was actually killed in the accident if at all possible.
If you don't know of an account that a perfect match, close matches will be helpful as well.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)
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ptsd
|
Do you ever feel like you sleeping and then you wakeup like you woke up cause of some noise and then suddenly realised that you are alive and you remember all of your problem and then can't sleep again.
I can't sleep tho , i make myself tired to death or i cry so i can sleep.
Idk what to do , this is so frustrating i am tired of it pleases i just want to sleep peacefully atleast.
It's so hard me to talk to people even.
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depression
|
how the fuck do you stop like 10 million thoughts I wanna cry i wanted to read up on History (because i like history!), and then finish my Maths homework/normal work.
But I can't focus on anything and I keep getting random thoughts to hurt myself help?
i wanna go run around my flat, but also have 0 energy fuk.
now im sad because i was supposed to be doing my maths, but got distracted by wanting to do history. ahh
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ADHD
|
I am trying to defeat it but it wins everytime, its been few years now. Please help me
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OCD
|
Hi friends! We're looking to update our wiki and resources! Go ahead and list your favorite podcasts to listen to about ADHD! List some pros and cons too! Like, "Pro: this podcast has mood music that makes it easy to listen to. Con: This podcast may use non peer reviewed research and they may try to sell you something you don't need!".
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ADHD
|
I’m getting really tired of it and I myself am getting tested for ADHD on Tuesday. I have a really hard time controlling my anger and when it comes to this I just don’t get it. Why is it SO hard to not use my toothbrush? It’s very easy to tell when he has used it cause he brushes so hard his brushes look wrecked.
It doesn’t matter what brand or colour mine is, I’ll eventually come out to find my toothbrush looking wrecked and I get so annoyed. Mostly because I don’t understand. He got diagnosed at around 4 and my mom has babied him ever since and still does, so I kind of feel like he does it out of laziness. Or cause he doesn’t care, he’s very self absorbed.
I changed to this toothbrush 9 days ago cause he used my other one. Now I’ve just boiled my brush cause we didn’t have any new ones.
Can anyone share some light on why he may do this? Is it the ADHD?
Update: I put jalapeño juice on my toothbrush and secretly bought a new. It’s not the spiciest thing we own, but it would be sus if I started opening new hot sauce bottles. It smells really sour, I hope he uses it tonight while drunk 💀
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ADHD
|
Recently diagnosed with OCD, been struggling with dermatillomania for several years now. Today during a study hall I picked at the side of my thumb so bad that I was bleeding, and left a literally crater. I'm on medication and all but man sometimes it sucks to just not be able to *stop* skin picking even when it causes that much damage. 👎🏻 Considering wearing some thin, cozy gloves during the day because the texture seems to soothe me/stop me from touching my hands?
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OCD
|
I got diagnosed with ADHD when i was in middle school in my early teens (12,13, or 14 I don’t exactly remember) I pretty much immediately got put on meds after my diagnosis. I felt so zombifed the whole time. I had no appetite and almost never ate. Every morning I felt like I was gonna puke. I was focusing on my school work better but barely. Instead of being distracted all the time I hyper focused on one thing weather that be how the eraser looked on my pencil or something in my own thoughts. At one point I couldn’t even understand what was written on my papers. It was a terrible time for me. I changed meds, doses and psychiatrists multiple times but nothing seemed to change it all felt the same.
After my freshman year of High School I got sent to a few rehab/treatment centers for my drug use which started around the same time I got on meds. I went to 3 different places and at my second place I finally got off my ADHD meds.
I’m 20 and sober now and I’m still live with my parents and I’m working a good job but I really hate it. I want to move on with my life and go to college and move out and get a better job but I feel like I can’t do any of that. I feel so hopeless. I can’t even focus on something I really wanna learn for more than a few minutes or something I really enjoy doing for more than a few days in a row without getting bored of it.
I wanna go back on meds but I’m scared it’s gonna have the same effect it did back when I was in middle school and early high school. I don’t wanna feel like a zombie and that I’m gonna puke until they wear off for the day again. I wanna be productive and able to stick with something that I wanna do or learn. I wanna tell my girlfriend and my parents what I learned that day.
I guess I’m just looking for advice or at least someone who had a similar experience and overcame it so I can prove to myself that I can too.
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ADHD
|
Just recently watching another zombie apocalypse series called 'Black Summer' and currently still in season one and as far as versions of this kind of genre go its one of the better ones. The episodes are broken up into short stories usually based around the diverse characters portrayed on the show, White, black, deaf, foreign etc, but no one Aspergers. Without giving anything away most of the characters do typical normie behaviour and die off in the stupidous ways possible. Now my question is how would you think a group of Aspies fair in a zombie apocalypse?
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aspergers
|
I was at Wal-Mart the other day and walked by the clearance section, I saw a lone doll sitting on the shelf, and I felt this pang of sorrow for it, like it was somehow capable of realizing it was unwanted, even though I know logically as an adult that that isn't possible, this is not the first time I've felt this way too (not just about dolls or toys in general), I bought a hat once from a clearance section 11 years ago I didn't even want because I felt sorry for it and it looked out of place....(I still have the hat), Do I see myself in these items? Am I, by buying or feeling sympathy for these items, acting out some sort of role that I wish somebody would do for me? As in, I wish somebody would notice me, feel sorry for me, and buy (accept) me? Or do other people on the spectrum do this as well? I know all of my quirks (there are many) cannot be placed at the feet of the almighty spectrum....but this one I wonder about.
|
aspergers
|
Does anyone else struggle with the idea of having people over. Before anyone comes over I feel like I need to do a ridiculous deep clean and even then it gives me a sense of overwhelming anxiety. I see my house as being my safe place. The only place I’m completely myself and letting people into that feels invasive. It’s like somehow with people in my space they’ll see sides of me I haven’t allowed them to see. Like they’ll catch on my mind is a total mess.
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ADHD
|
I have both types of ADHD and even with medication I still have trouble with tone control. My volume is never where it needs to be, either I’m too loud or too quiet. I try my hardest to control it, especially when I’m out in public.
My friends get embarrassed and annoyed, they either tell me to shut up or a common phrase is “I don’t know you” then they walk away.
Does anyone have any tips because it’s absolutely humiliating.
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ADHD
|
I haven't started any medication yet, so I'm trying to get through this with sheer willpower.
My impulse spending has always been an issue in the past (usually by eating out) but for the last year, I've been making bigger purchases on impulse. I'm trying to resell what I bought on impulse to recover some of the money, but it's not going well. Meanwhile, I'm just fighting the impulse to get yet ANOTHER expensive thing.
I've been trying to distract myself with youtube, working as a delivery driver when it's busy, etc. The problem is that I keep going back to the sale page and looking at the price again and again. Ugh, I hate this. This original character collection hobby is such a money sink. If I knew it'd be so hard to resell these things, I wouldn't have gone balls deep into it. I mean, I have approximately $1500 of characters I bought that I can't manage to resell and all of them were impulse purchases. It's honestly making me hate myself
I know I tagged this as empathy/support but I'll take advice too.
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ADHD
|
I'm interested on how you guys been affected by working from home. Was it better for you? Worse? What were the advantages/challenges. Also, I'd appreciate it if you specify whether you're medicated or not.
For me, it was really devistating. The lack of structure, and having my coworkers also working and keeping me in check devistated my productivity. It got so bad, that I finally gave in and went for an ADHD assessment last month and now I'm medicated.
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ADHD
|
(I'm 24,f) when I was 19 I developed a crush on a guy who was from another country - this was back when I thought I was straight. I don't know his age but I know he was in high school so he was between 15-17. At the time, I didn't consider his age (like I said I didn't even knew his age) and that he was. Minor. My crush on him was "innocent" I guess. And he once was mildly sexual with me and I got angry with him. There was never flirting or anything (because he liked someone else and I didn't know or wanted to do those things)
But now I'm so scared that I'd have dated someone that was a minor (just romantically though). My pocd started in 2017, a few years later after this accident and I keep wondering if I'd have dated a minor if I had the chance... Not because they were a minor though, just because I liked them as a person?
There are proof that I would have done this but also proof that I wouldn't have done this. So I'm super confused...
I once had a "friend" (18 yo at the time) that was dating a 14 yo and I was so against it and I also had another friend who was 15 that was dating a 19 and I was also... Eeeeehhhh. However, I once made up a story in my mind that was character based in me that had a crush on a 15-16 yo (I can't recall her age) and I used to "ship" characters that were minors with fully grown ups. ><
I can't remember if when my pocd started it also attacked teens or just children. I don't remember if I was afraid of only being attracted to children or If I also was afraid of being attracted by teens.
Today, yes. I'm terrified of being attracted to anyone under 20. And I do think that a few years back, when my pocd was milder, I was afraid to be attracted to teens because I thought "p" was anyone attracted to people under the age of 18.
Sorry for the long venting. I'm tearing up as I write this... I'm a monster
|
OCD
|
Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault, abuse of victim by legal system.
*
*
So I am soo so happy they are covering the “Unbelievable” case on Netflix. People should know this story. It should absolutely be advertised far and wide and get tons of attention.
( *It is a really awful and important case of sexual assault where a girl was falsely accused of lying but they literally found video evidence that proved she told the truth; based on [this article ](https://www.propublica.org/article/false-rape-accusations-an-unbelievable-story)*)
OTOH, Im upset by the frequent intrusive trailers that you cant turn off, I dont want to think about it every time I go onto Netflix.
( *It isnt something that happened to me but stuff like it did and it happened to family which was a big part of my life so it gets me upset* ).
Anyone else have thoughts about it?
Anyone see it and have some thoughts?
Im waiting til Im in a better headspace but Ive read the article several times, it is an important piece of journalism.
|
ptsd
|
title pretty much explains it. I was really excited about going to culinary school at first but then I pressured myself into going full time when I registered for classes and I ended up with WAY too much of a workload. after my practical class where I actually got to cook (the only class I liked) ended, I stopped going to my other classes because I'd already forgotten to do the homework for any of them for weeks and I didn't see the point to finishing them out if I couldn't even get above a D. I know it's the right choice for me not to go back because I wouldn't like it, but I'm still really bummed and I feel like I'm letting people down by not following through. ADHD can really suck sometimes I guess is what I'm getting at. blegh
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ADHD
|
It is so brazenly insensitive when I am sitting across the bar post (four seats down) post shift and I can see you doing that to another worker when stating, “I think she’s [___].” Just say it. I’m fucking autistic. What, do you think I’m gonna leap across the counter and bite you? You have to make a signal because it’s so heinous to admit one in FIFTY NINE people in this world are autistic? You can’t even SAY IT. you need to make a gesture?
Way to go, second week and you’re signaling me out where I can SEE you. Such a complete misunderstanding of how I even function. I don’t make as many jokes to you because I’m not COMFORTABLE with that- yet.
I pride myself on being inclusive, so much so that I dance over any line to avoid offense. That’s how I’m built. And it’s exacerbated by having CPTSD.
I do not mask well. I grew up in the worst of homes, I got raped and locked in a closet for making a joke that struck the wong way. I do not even dare to cross lines, imaginary or not. I am too afraid of danger. In a house like that, you’re raised solely around manipulators, and normal people are foreign. Drug dealers, cult members, murderers. Child molesters. My world is goddamn terrifying.
I was born this way. Then, conditioned to be extra maladaptive. Just because I don’t jump at a dish being dropped, or someone
walking behind me doesn’t mean I don’t have an incredibly severe, and debilitating disorder.
I UNDERSTAND that I am the butt of your jokes. Congratulations. I hope you feel fantastic.
But y’all have beards and tattoos. Hella progressive, ain’t it?
I dutifully do my job, and I leave. don’t invite me to have drinks if you’re going to chide me in front of my face. If you take the time to get to know me, you’ll see why I don’t jump to being an assclown.
Even with being autistic, I face enough. But that’s not even the whole story- nor is it for any other individual. I am scared of everybody and everything.
But because of HOW my brain is wired, I don’t goddamn fit in anywhere.
I’m too fucking busy thinking about what it’s like to wash my soul clean of killing someone in self defense at 10 to make some fucking joke to you about forks. I do not have enough brainpower. But ya know, autistic people aren’t human enough to apparently go through any struggle- so we can make fun of them. Nobody would ever think I’d endured something else.
Bending to how you function is something I do daily. but no, a derogatory motion is as far as you have to go to.
Your bullying isn’t the first thing on my mind, but it’s not the last- either.
I don’t need to be accepted at work, but it sure as fuck would be nice, wouldn’t it?
stop being so goddamn insensitive. I’ve dealt with enough. That would hurt anybody. but I’m really not in the fucking mood for it.
Fucking arm flapping. goddamn unbelievable. let me slap my bony ass hand into your chest next time I’m too overwhelmed. I stim by moving my feet watching a movie. I scream bloody fucking hard when I realize what my life really is. how about you do THAT in public to signal me? It’s about the same fucking thing. But you would not dare to do that with PTSD
Edit: by no means am I saying anybody on the spectrum is worth any more nor less than me for having different experiences. I know it’s not necessarily directly relevant to state everything else I’ve endured- it’s merely my legitimate current experience.
You’re all valid and so am I.
neurotypical or not, I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere because of my combination of struggles. I’m not even fucking diagnosed because none of my other professionals see it. So double congrats. You’ve speculated so hard you nailed it. You’re watching me THAT closely. like dude. Are you ok?
There is no HR to report it to. It’s a small restaurant where this person is actually in a higher position over me. There’s likely 20 of us overall.
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aspergers
|
At the turn of the 90s and 00s, when it turned out that someone was gay, then if someone was in the age group of 12-25, let's say he was socially exhausted, he was a pariah.
My buddy ended up in a camp for troubled youth, mostly with ADHD or autism, after he beat up a school bully for wanting to harass him and recognize him for his alleged homosexuality, although no one would normally consider him gay because he was very brave risky e.t.c.
He was an amateur skateboarder, his enemies found out that he was gay after he was browsing gay pornography in the form of JPG pictures, because there were no videos back then
Once, when some rogue wanted to beat him, he got pissed off, and he beat him so badly that our Polish air ambulance service had to arrange for that boy an ambulance Mi-26 of the Medivac version, because he smashed his head with his skateboard :-)
And he was criminally responsible for exceeding the limits of self-defense, he was charged with aggravated battery :-)
Due to the fact that he did not start this situation, and that he was still a child, the family court ordered him only to receive psychiatric treatment and to engage in a busy therapy to control his outbursts of anger.
Although his teachers liked him because he studied well and he defended weaker children
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ADHD
|
Well, I got Shingles (which is the worst) and I was prescribed Gabapentin for the nerve pain. And wouldn't you believe it? It does a great job tamping down my ptsd - a GREAT job.
Try it. Talk to your Doc. It is so great to have my ptsd down to level 1 from a normal 7 to 10.
|
ptsd
|
i am feeling more suicidal than i am used to be and i have nobody to talk with
|
depression
|
This post is gonna be just me ranting absolutely everything thats been bothering me about being single. I’m just venting it all out, I don’t intend to be rational because I just want it out of my system and want to feel heard
Ive been single for a few years but my previous relationships were just puppy love. The school dating. It never gave me any experience romantically nor sexually. I’m a lonely person and I dont usually have a company to hangout with. Sometimes i like being by myself. I go for walks, play with street cats, ride my bike - all alone.
But everywhere I go, I see guys with their girlfriends or guys with a bunch of female friends. I cant express how inferior and weak I feel when I witness that sight. I, a lonely loser riding alone on my bike and everyone around me, having a good social life. So good that its normalized for them but its such an achievement for me. That speaks volumes right?
I dont even know what’s worse. Seeing an attractive guy with a pretty girlfriend or an unattractive guy with a pretty girlfriend. I know I’m sounding shallow but man, everyone wishes they had a cute partner right? Some days, when I’m bored and got nothing to do, i just wish i had someone to call up and hangout with her. A cute girlfriend who listens to me, who cares for me. I’m really mentally exhausted seeing tiktoks of guys with their super attractive girlfriends. I just question myself how do teens my age or sadly even younger than me, can manage to date a really hot girl or atleast be friends with her whereas I can do none. There is no escape.
I’m really sorry to sound shallow or superficial. I’m just really emotional rn and this is one of the things ive kept bottled up for a while. I’m not used to venting on reddit yet. Thank you if you read it till here. Have a nice day.
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depression
|
One son overdosed on my prescription meds, had a seizure, one son did the same trying to hurt himself, and was in icu for a week, followed by inpatient care. Now I can't sleep until they are asleep. I'm woking on getting counseling. What do I do in meantime?
|
ptsd
|
I find myself always craving "more". Till recently, I though my perfectionism was only an issue with respect my job/work, but as of late I see how large a role it plays in the rest of my life.
I find myself going through life not being able to enjoy myself/live in the moment. I feel like my brain is always thinking of alternatives of how the moment could be made "better". Thus, I'm never able to relax. In fact, holidays are usually really stressful because I want to do everything and nothing at the same time. Countless time is spent trying to figure out "the best way" to spend my time off..
Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I'm burning out, so I do need to find a way to just be at rest.
|
ADHD
|
The other day was my first time getting arrested I have never committed a crime before so I wasnt new to it i spender over 15 hour in a cell with 4 walls and nothing but my thoughts to run around my head I suffer from really bad anxiety and always have does. The crime I committed was dropped as it was only an argument that was later sorted. But it scared my so much being in the that the first time I slept I work up scared thinking i was in that cell again or that I was gonna get arrested. I don't know what to do or how to help with my anxiety anymore as I have no family no mum no dad nobody. And the only friend I have that I can talk to have been cut off from me by the people that think that are helping me, but it's not it's making more lonely and scared almost like I've been trapped in that small cell again. Normally in situations that stress me out I go to my close friend that I play with in xbox as they sadly are the only people I can talk to I put my worries on they have helped me more than people would ever understand and even since I got out of jail I have been treated like nothing I can describe they person I live with does help me out by putting a roof over my head but will constantly remind me of this as she always threatens to take it away from me and always makes me feel small. I pay her where I can if not I clean up after her, I admit I'm not the best in the world when It comes to helping but i try and i am only shown nothing but threats and warning. Since I got back home I came home to find my door taking off the hinges and told that the only people I can talk with to let me stress go, I am no longer able to talk to, she thinking shes helping but she doesn't realise if I cant talk to my friends I would have no one and the last time I literally had no one I tried putting a rope around my neck and would of done something stupid. The people around me that think they know what's best for me they dont, yes they have good advice but the way they try to force it in me like I'm a puppet makes me feel small and weak and I cant stand it. For me personally as a human being I know the basics thing I need to keep my mind away from dark thoughts. What the person I live with doesn't understand about me is that she thinks i play on my xbox and stuff to enjoy myself but that isnt the case. I wish what I'm about to say now i hope somebody could understand or relate, i play on my xbox because I have people that accept me for who I am and cheer me up when I'm feeling down, I have no one in my day to day life who is there for me but on my xbox I have people who care about me friends I've made for years. I've always felt so lonely but when I'm with those friends I can be happy. All I'm trying to say and I'm saying all this on here as I literally have no one else to tell this to is that I am struggling I have demons in my head and all around me, I am faced with the daily threats of being made homeless and the thought of being on my own. I am grateful if late from my friends who texted me and was worried about how I felt after getting out of jail, nobody but my friends asked if I was ok about the whole arrested thing and the answer is no it scares me a keep me awake and wakes me ever time I close my eyes.
I am sorry and grateful to anyone who has read all off this I know it's not clean and goes off subject alot but i just needed something like this to happen.
|
ptsd
|
Story:
So, I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 11, but it was never really looked at as a real thing by my family. They didn’t really do anything to make my life easier and pretty much just treated me like a normal kid and expected me to deal with my own issues and adapt to fit their norm. So I’ve never really known much about aspergers except that it was the cause of my social awkwardness. Recently, as an adult (28M), enough things have started popping up (bad reviews at work solely because of how I was being perceived socially, my sister picking fights because of things she’s perceiving from my behavior that are just me not being NT), that I decided to look more into aspergers and realized how much it’s affected my entire worldview, relationships, anxiety, and sensitivities. It’s been a lot harder and more draining to “mask” as an adult than it used to be in high school.
Which leads me to now. I’ve typically been pretty close with my sister, and after beginning to understand myself more, I keep trying to explain my anxieties and difficulties with NT norms due to Aspergers to my sister. Now, she has had a job in the past working around ASD kids and helping “train” their behavior to fit society. I also feel like she has no understanding of how hard I already work to “mask” and have to overanalyze every behavior of myself and others trying to do the right thing, and aspergers has never even crossed her mind as a reason why my behaviors are different before; rather, she always takes them personally and makes fun of the associated behaviors, like it’s just me being unreasonable to go to bed at 11 on a wkd rather than something that will give me migraines if I don’t. So lately, when I explain things, her response is often “well you know that can be fixed, right? You just have to keep being exposed to the thing you hate and be trained to get over it.” This most recently came up because she keeps blindsiding me with plans day-of or even hour-of and expects me to have no problem and just go along with them, even though I keep telling her that if I don’t have at least a day’s notice, I get severely anxious because I already had this idea for how the day would unfold and suddenly there’s this social event I did not expect or mentally prepare for. There was also one night we had agreed to a movie night and when I arrived, she told me she’s going to paint first instead and I can paint or read, and I hadn’t prepared for it so it turned into a thing of me asking a bunch of questions trying to process the plan and how it would work to paint first when we only had 3 hours, etc
I’ve told her how anxious this makes me, but she doesn’t seem to care because she keeps doing it, and when things like this come up she tells me my behavior just needs to be fixed.
It’s funny, seeing as I’m the one with ASD, that my whole life my family has expected me to always be the one who adapts to others rather than anyone adapting to my needs. I pretty much feel like if I still feel this way after 28 years, I’ve “fixed” my behavior as much as I can and am now just trying to get some understanding and willingness of others to accept my boundaries and what makes me anxious rather than continuing to do the thing that gives me anxiety.
This post became way longer than I intended, sorry!
So yeah, I’m looking for advice. Have any of you been on the receiving end of being told your behavior just needs to be fixed if something bothers you? How does it make you feel? Do I have a right to be upset over this or am I overreacting? And any advice on what I should do?
|
aspergers
|
i have every decent thing a normal person would want. i have a decent family, grades, and a few friends. but why am i so full of hate for myself to the point that i would want to destroy everything i've accomplished or ruin my life just to feel something? sometimes i just want to fuck everything up so people would notice.
|
depression
|
I’m 23m and I work in IT. I’m not sure if I hate my job or that’s just my ocd as I’ve already quit twice and I’ve been at this job for 6months lol (6years total in the field)
My mental health is at its worst atm and although I’ve been on Fluoxetine for the past couple months I don’t feel like anything is changing. Depression won’t go away either.
Just wondering wether it’s the job I do that is causing me this stress/depression and if it’s worth going for something more simple like construction or something.
Just wondering what you guys do and if you think it plays a part in your mental health?
|
OCD
|
I'm not sure if my dad actually has ocd or some other mental disorder. But everyday he sends a bunch of emails and texts to everyone he knows about some random ass things that he has strong beliefs in. Like it got to the point where my email account is filled with his emails. His friends would confront me and ask to "unsubscribe" from his email list because he sends out so much emails. I feel horrible because this is affecting so many people. I would definitely say he is obsessed with this. He would prioritize this over his work and everything. He also repeatedly checks back on people even though they clearly wants to be left alone. For me, since I live with him, he always askes me to do something over and over again until I do it.
Also, he is unable to feel empathy. He never feels bad for anyone except for himself. Pscyhopath? When my cousin died he announced it to me cheerfully. Like wtf? He only cries when things are related to him(like the thought of me leaving for college). He's also a huge narcissist and is unable to be in other people's shoes. He thinks he's always right.
Also I don't know if this is relevant but he's also very immature and childish. He likes to spend more time with kids than adults(not in a pedophillic way)
I'm just a very confused daughter. He definitely has a mental disorder but I'm not exactly sure what it is.
|
OCD
|
Like I'm not my own person, I exist but that's about it. All my hobbies leave me feeling indifferent so are they still really hobbies?
|
depression
|
Hello, I started ADHD meds for the first time today after getting diagnosed about a week ago and I’m just stressed that it will change my personality. For example, I feel like my mind jumps around between topics so much and when I’m talking bc of this I never run out of things to talk about. But the thing is I really do like this way of thinking, I like going down crazy weird rabbit holes and just talking about whatever jumping between topics with my friends. Will this lessen? I feel like if I lose this I’ll lose a big part of my personality, and I honestly don’t feel like that’s worth being more focused at all. Does anyone have any experience with personality changes or anything like that on ADHD meds? I’m currently on Ritalin to be more specific
|
ADHD
|
Hello all,
Months ago, I woke up to my girlfriend having a grand mal seizure in bed next to me. She had no history of them, and otherwise appeared healthy. I called 911 and at the hospital the doctors found a cluster of abnormal blood vessels in her brain called a “cavernous malformation”. The doctors attributed the random nocturnal seizure to their findings, which made complete sense. Due to the 100% cure rate, she opted in for brain surgery to get it removed. After the seizure/after surgery we lived with her parents for a bit as she recovered. We recently came back to our apartment, where we are alone in the same bed where this all happened. My anxiety has been through the roof. I cannot sleep, I cannot stop feeling like I need to be on alert at all times. I’m suffering from horrible headaches and I’m starting to feel depressed. The only thing that has helped is taking a small dose of Xanax before bed, which I know is not a long term solution. I am so petrified of witnessing the seizure again that it is consuming me. I am trying to be logical, and think to myself this should never happen again due to the surgery curing her condition, however, my brain still won’t let me let my guard down. I really would appreciate some help as this is affecting me and my relationship. I just want to sleep next to my girlfriend again without feeling this way. I feel helpless.
|
ptsd
|
The feeling of silence, and the ceasing of thoughts, the fears... the blissfulness of peace... turned out to also be scary. I don't know how to be normal. Feeling calm is something I have forgotten about. It is like an agoraphobic feeling living in a calm mind. I realize I must learn to be happy again, and to not have comfort be a foreign, alien concept.
|
OCD
|
I’ve been in a bad place the last few months and I just think I need some friendly words of encouragement.
I already struggle with severe anxiety and not many people know that cos I try to hide it (I don’t know why… I guess it’s how I cope) but recently my dad who is my absolute idol was diagnosed with cancer and it’s been so difficult trying to be brave and just get on with everyday life and then my brother came out, only to me cos he is worried how my family will take it, and I love him so much. I don’t care one bit as long as he is happy, but my parents are strict catholic and come from a different time so I’m worried about their reaction (they will accept it in time) but I’m worried because my dad has already had a few complications with his treatment and that it will set him back because he worries. I’ll support my brother no matter what but at the same time I don’t want them finding out about my brother whilst my dad is going though his cancer treatment… I do not at all want my brother to hide who he is and I wouldn’t out my brother ever, as I feel it should come from him but he wants to tell them soon… what can I do?… is it selfish that I want him to wait just a few more weeks when my dad finishes treatment? we are a super close family and he’s told some of my aunts about it and they are really supportive
|
depression
|
Feeling oh so mad at myself. I am an artist who relies on grants for some of my income. I missed a deadline because I am an idiot, and it was for a big one. I did all the legwork, had letters of support, budget, ect, everything ready to go, and I fucked up by not having submitted a form that I needed to have submitted 2 weeks ago, in order to be eligible to submit the final grant today. I thought I'd done it in last month. But I got distracted, and didn't hit send.
I was relying on this grant for a chunk of my annual income, to get me through the winter.
And all I can do at this point is just suck it up and wait for the next deadline to roll around in 6 months. I am so mad and sad and dissapionted with myself. Excuse me while I curl into burrito form and sob for the next week.
|
ADHD
|
Last week I noticed my closed eye hallucinations of my front yard, porch, and backyard slowly go away. The closed eye hallucinations weren’t as pronounced when I closed my eyes. Also the after images of the outlines of things we’re also disappearing. I was just starting to see the normal static when I close my eyes and my eyes are also starting to close shut better. I also have been starting to rest and sleep. But today I was under a lot of stress and started to see them same closed eye hallucinations again. I dint if they’ll end up returning or leaving. I still want to be able to close my eyes regularly without seeing those images in my vision. How do I still reduce the closed eye hallucinations?
|
OCD
|
I am struggling with depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts for longer time now, I kept on going though for people I love, disappointing and making them sad because of me, would be my biggest nightmare.
But I can't do it anymore, I feel like I failed everyone so much by now, everyday I struggle with most simple tasks, I am useless and worthless for people, I feel more and more, empty and depressed every day.
I try talking with people about it, but even simple rant like this one is making me feel like attention seeking whore, I hate bringing up my feelings to anyone.
Everyday I keep thinking about suicide and I can't stop. I need help.
( Sorry for bad english)
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depression
|
Hi, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m a 20 year old male junior in college, and I can’t help but cry after every semester is over because I don’t want it to end.
I live with my best friends and we all go to the same college. We all met freshman year. We started rooming together sophomore year. Ever since the first semester of sophomore year I cry after every semester ends and I don’t know why.
We hang out and smoke weed and pursue our goals together during the semester, but suddenly one day it all ends and suddenly I’m back home, reminded that I’m one step closer to graduating and having to separate from my guys permanently.
I think corona might have had a hand in this feeling but I really don’t understand why I start thinking like this. We were all we had while we did college during corona. Even so, it’s just a semester ending. Can someone help me understand
|
depression
|
I had an intense flashback last Friday that ended up lasting three days with really scary images, thoughts and feelings. And then last night I had a nightmare related to the same incident, which definitely didn't help things.
Today I have felt absolutely terrible all day -- shaky, nauseous, confused, and like my entire nervous system is overstimulated. I just feel so scared and uncomfortable. It feels like this will never end and I will never be ok again.
|
ptsd
|
I did session one the other day, and I did better than I was expecting I would, since I was nervous going in. It didn't take too long for me to get more comfortable, and I'm doing the homework tonight! I know it's not going to be easy but I'm just so happy and relieved that I'm finally doing it! I'm feeling very pleased with myself.
|
ptsd
|
Currently battling depression. I’m on anti depressants and they do seem to be working but they’re almost making me notice things.
I genuinely think i got obsessed with being sad. It almost became my personality trait and i almost liked being sad. It was the reason i was alive but also the reason i didn’t feel alive?? Does this make any sense?
Like the feeling of pure sad emotions made me feel alive- i got obsessed with being sad that if i wasn’t sad and if i was happy it almost felt wrong and I’d self sabotage myself to feel sad again. So so weird.
|
depression
|
Hi all, (24m)
Was diagnosed with severe adhd as a child and took meds up until I was 15 until I got sick of the routine and just fully sent off the walls.
Well since then I've kind of suppressed any and all thoughts about my adhd, but recently it's all been flooding back and getting worse and I've been having a really tough time with cleaning cooking and so many other simple tasks.
Well I finally remembered to call a doctor and set up an appointment to get back on meds again and it really feels like the most adult thing I've done in a long time.
I know it's not a really big deal but I haven't been to a Dr since I was a senior in high school and I haven't ever made an appointment at a doctor before so it really feels like a win for me.
|
ADHD
|
Don't get me wrong, playing sports can be fun, but seeing people get overhyped over it can get annoying. Especially when sports celebrations can result in people getting super noisy out in the streets.
|
aspergers
|
I was raped three years ago and tomorrow is the day. Even now I feel so nauseous and my anxiety is through the roof. I don't really know what to do. Is it better to distract myself or just let it be and accept that this will be a bad day? My ptsd got so much better after a lot of therapy and a fair share of antidepressants. I know how to cope, in general. But to be honest, I don't really know what to do. I'm lost.
|
ptsd
|
My son recently started on extended release methylphenidate liquid, but after 2 months our insurance decided they were charging us too little and now it's going to be about $100 per month. After talking with insurance, it seems that only tablets will be cheaper. I haven't tried, but I'm worried my son won't be able to swallow the tablets.
---
Does anyone know if any of the extended release versions of methylphenidate can be crushed or if there are capsules that can be opened? I don't want to interfere with the extended release, so I doubt it.....
Any other suggestions? I need a drug with these qualities:
-extended release, lasts at least 8 hours
-doesn't have to be swallowed whole
-has a generic version in the USA
-comes in low kids dosage
---
This is my last hope before I just have to rely on forcing him to learn to swallow pills.....
|
ADHD
|
I think I have it! I don’t think it was my friend who killed herself. I don’t think she was the reason I have hyper-vigilance and flashbacks (well maybe just a little bit but not completely). I think it’s because in July of 2018 I had attempted suicide by ODing on pills and that’s the closest I have ever felt to death and it was terrifying.. And the episodes didn’t start until maybe August-September.
|
ptsd
|
Hi! I was talking to a friend who was recently diagnosed with OCD and was prescribed Prozac...I've been thinking about going on medication the past couple years to treat my anxiety/depression but after talking to my friend I'm wondering if what I actually have is OCD. I struggle with symptoms like intrusive and unwanted thoughts that cause intense anxiety and distress because I ruminate and obsess over them. Oftentimes they are health related fears or fears of doing something out of character or a general mistrust of myself and my feelings towards things. Even when I logically know the feeling is wrong, these thoughts can spiral out of control and feel extremely overwhelming and dire. The thoughts really destabilize my mood and can be debilitating and affect my ability to be present.
I also partake in behaviors such as obsessive body picking...picking at my skin or hair for example. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it for a while but it gives me a feeling of momentary release or calm.
Anyways, I'm wondering if anyone else suffers from similar symptoms and have you tried medicating? If so, how have your symptoms changed by taking meds? I also just want to feel less alone so any personal stories or encouragement will go a long way. Thanks!
|
OCD
|
I was good at math, but there were occasions I'd get in trouble because I used my own route to find the answer. Their method involved redundancy and didn't really build on other mathematical rules. They would ask how I came to my answers and I'd walk them through it, mostly just bits of confusion and asking why my work was just scattered numbers. The reason being I'd set potential variables down like in a code to call on as needed.
|
aspergers
|
I’m not joking when I say this, this is probably the 20th time I’ve had a dream that I cheated on my partner! It’s always the same thing, I flirt with a guy and then I want to kill myself rather then tell my partner. The dreams are getting worse cause I tell myself in the dream that this is actually real and then I panic. Can I not have 2 cheating dreams every single week ffs!
|
OCD
|
When I told my parents I was sexually assaulted they told me I had a habit of embellishing things. They were talking about the time I told them I was suicidal in high school several years prior. My sister is even worse, she calls me crazy when I try to bring up my depressive episodes and why I can’t get out of bed sometimes. She thinks I can’t handle my life and that I’m just not trying hard enough to overcome. When I tell her my feelings I usually get met with “just leave it in the past you can’t keep rehashing these things.”
When I get triggered I just start crying and shouting. I completely shut down and can’t speak my thoughts and feelings coherently. It always starts feeling like I’m proving everything they are saying and thinking about me. They verbalize everything I’m afraid of and insecure about.
Recently, my dad has been really trying to be better at listening and communicating with me about my feelings. I got into a fight with my sister a week ago and vented to my dad about it. But when I told him, he just got mad and lashed out. I think he takes it personally like a reflection of his poor parenting (he’s sober but was a severe alcoholic for most of my life). They get so mad at me for not opening up and saying how I feel. They make it so hard to communicate and say things and then when I have an episode I’m suddenly “dramatic” and “inappropriate.” Obviously, this just exacerbates my reaction and reminds me of all the ways they’ve failed to support me emotionally. Not to mention i simultaneously feel guilty and responsible for any dysfunction around me.
The last two years I’ve been using a relationship with an emotionally abusive narcissist / alcoholic to hide from the pain of being at home. When things go bad I will stay at his apartment for 2-3 weeks at a time to avoid being around it. I recently blocked his number and tried to end it for good but I’m desperate for somewhere to go today. I don’t want to fall into that pattern again today so I’m posting here. I feel so alone and hopeless. Am I always going to feel like this?
|
ptsd
|
Has anyone tried Adderall IR (or I suppose XR too) for a while, only realized mild benefits even after increasing doses, then tried Desoxyn?
Was it better or worse for you?
And perhaps even more importantly - are the risks of physical addiction / dependence higher with one over the other? Or if taken in appropriate doses, are they around the same?
I take IR twice a day depending on the day and my needs, and it hasn't helped nearly as much as I'd hoped (and that's after my doc increased my dose to 30mg/day). Still struggle with heavy distraction, overthinking, avoiding any work that overwhelms me, etc.
|
ADHD
|
i was getting kind of tired of my parents constantly asking me shit so my attitude was just below average at dinner. my dad then got super fucking pissed at me and said i have no friends because im an asshole to everyone. i should really just kill myself at this point. why even keep trying when i cant change or make friends ever. ive been in the bathroom for 10 minutes and cant wait to go back and be scolded at again.
|
depression
|
Can’t even listen to music without remembering I’m a total failure lose piece of untalented shit. I’m so jealous of others it hurts on a physical level.
|
depression
|
With OCD do you tend to do one thing over and over until it feels like you’ve done it the “right” way or do you feel uncomfy if you’ve felt like you haven’t done something the “right” way?
|
OCD
|
You know, the 5 minute breaks of the pomodoro technique... I've been trying it and it was a bit of a help, but I don't know what to do during the 5 minutes of breaktime. There's only so much times where I need to visit the restroom, and 5 minutes is too short to watch YouTube or play games (besides, doing the said two activities completely break my chain of focus and I can't get back to work). I thought maybe I'll walk around or something, but my environment makes it impossible for me to stand up every 25 minutes... For people who use the pomodoro technique or anything similar, what do you do during these short breaks?
|
ADHD
|
I daydream for long hours and even talk to myself many times, consciously. What do you guys do about it? I just lose myself into memories or scenarios that I imagine. Is medication the only way to handle it? How do you guys handle this please tell. A smartphone keeps me from daydreaming, but it's frickin bad enough to indulge in phone.
tl;dr : how to handle daydreaming and talking in daydreams.
|
ADHD
|
I was recently prescribed strattera. I took my first dose (40mg) almost 12 hours ago.
I heard about all of the negative side effects, but nothing about how soon they start.
Currently, I’m not experiencing any of those side effects. The only thing I’m experiencing is tranquility and relaxation. My mind feels so quiet and every muscle in my body is relaxed. It’s almost like I’m in a meditative state.
If I haven’t felt other side effects like nausea or dry mouth by now, does that mean I’m not going to have those side effects? Or will it take a few more days for it to kick in?
|
ADHD
|
Today I had one of those "collapse-days", when everything seems overwhelming and I think I have no hope nor future. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel kinda better, I guess (happens everytime, it's like a rollercoaster, progressively). But now, man, I feel really down and anxious. I can't make an important decision, I feel so alone, the future is uncertain, my thoughts are becoming overwhelming, (I feel like my head is a mess), I feel alienated and I can't recognise myself nor my current life.
It's hard to think that less than two years ago I was happy and hopeful. It just makes me sad.
That's all, I just needed to write something.
|
depression
|
Just wondering if anybody else who's on Xaggitin has the same problem as me?
I've had ADHD since I was 5 yrs old (am 28 now) and all the previous medications I have been on have not affected my sleeping patterns, although my parents were told that they would (lies as usual lol)
Was on methylphenidate hydrochloride 10mg 4x a day from the age 17 till I was 25 when (for reasons I won't go into here) the mental health nurse/Dr put me on concerta 36 mg once a day, and still didn't get any disruption to my sleeping patterns.
In July 2021(4 months ago) Dr changed my meds to Xaggitin XL 5g once a day, to which my sleeping patterns went all to f**k!
I used to be able to go to bed at 10pm and sleep till 9am but I was also able to go to bed at 2 or 3am and still get up at 9am, BUT NOW if I try going to bed at even just 11pm I cannot for the life of me fall asleep and it's getting later and later that I finally manage to get to sleep!
Past 3 weeks it's been 7 or 8am when I've finally nodded off and I slept till 5pm!
Has anybody else experienced this? And what did you try to help get to sleep at normal time?
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ADHD
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First of all I want to start by saying if you have any doubt or show any small symptom of any kind of ADD/ADHD please for the love of god, consult a professional!
With that out of the way, I can start telling about myself a bit. I am 25 years old and fresh out of university. Boy believe me when I tell you University was hell to go through, at least academically. So was high school and middle school for that matter. But it wasn't always like that.
In my early years I've always been dubbed as a bright kid. The things the other kids struggled came easy to me. I don't know if this is true as I don't remember clearly that early into my life but my mother says that I've learned reading when I was 4 or 5, without any outside help. I mean it seems unreal to me but my mother is not a person that usually lies and she's very religious and she swore to me on the god she believes in when I asked her to. Then, things kind of started to fall apart. My class mates could easily understand stuff such as math and could memorize long pieces of written word such as national anthem and whatnot.
When I asked them how they would just say they were studying. It didn't compute in my brain. When I tried to study, my thoughts would turn into sludge, memories into jelly. The information was right there but I just couldn't reach it, it felt like when you're in a nightmare, running from a monster or trying to punch someone but your body feels like it's encased in amber or something.
Also it was murder to complete my dissertation paper to finally graduate from sports science faculty, I procrastinated the living crap out of it. And studying didn't end yet, noooooo. In my country if you want to be a teacher, you have to take a series of exams that first tests your general knowledge in topics like maths, Turkish (I'm Turkish) history, geography and so on. Second one is on educational theory. And finally the third is on one's particular field which in my case is physical education.
Long story short, me and studying didn't go hand in hand. Now comes the day that all of that changed. At least for now.
Today my doctor prescribed me Concerta 36mg. I took it around 11.30-12.00 noon time, as soon as I got it. At first everything was normal, my wife and I went to the mall after the appointment, got some groceries, browsed some stores and got back home about three hours later. But I could feel something different. The first thing I usually do when we get home is turn on the pc and get undressed while it boots (no ssd, an old hdd takes a long time I tell you). But today I went to get into my home clothes and went straight into putting away groceries, cleaning the kitchen, putting the dishes in the machine, taking out the trash and after that two straight hours of studying, quick break to play a couple of games with a friend of mine for about half an hour and one and a half hour more of studying and I don't feel exhausted neither physically nor mentally.
It's like someone applied WD-40 on the cogs in my brain. The crash still didn't happen I guess, as I was able to write this LONG ASS drivel with no pauses or distraction, which is a miracle in itself.
So what I'm saying is basically, first, yay me! And second don't put off getting help when it can get much, much better. This subreddit has helped me realize that I have a condition and I am not just a lazy person. So I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, you magnificent people!
I could only pick one flair but I guess this is celebration, tips and suggestion and rant all rolled into one. Sorry!
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ADHD
|
I (40f in process of getting diagnosed) always had anxiety and depression since childhood but had been particularly spiralling out of control before lockdown . During my nrly 2yrs off(which allowed more detailed observation of thought processes due to reduced expectations/stimuli) have recently realised I do def have aaalll symptoms of add/ adhd inattentive i just masked it and struggled on thinking i was just lazy and stupid. For the past few years I have also been struggling with little to no positive emotions/appetite/interest or enjoyment in anything and fatigue symptoms. (Basically 2 years self medicating, sleeping as much as poss cos i can't make myself do anything, the slows my brain?)
Currently waiting on doc app (uk) to see about diagnosis as i have no way to motivate myself unless its last minute panic. I always focused on emotional rewards and just thought i had to try harder. Really struggling but feel lighter hoping its adhd brain not laziness.
Any one else have this particularly fun combo??
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ADHD
|
Hey reader,
Things are tough in life right now, I feel like I've miscommunicated with my partner yet I asked her and everything seems okay, I just have a weird amount of anxiety about it I just don't know why. In other news, I feel the noose of debt pulling on my soul, I don't want to stop existing but I just don't want to be in the situation anymore. I'm tired of feeling hopeless I'm tired of feeling like no matter what I do it's not enough - it's even worse when I can lay out the numbers and show that I'm not doing enough
I don't want to die, I just don't want to be in this situation anymore :( maybe I have no room to complain, I have an okay life I've got a place to live I have people that care about me, not exactly starving on the streets (yet). Just dont want to play the game of life anymore. It feels like a game.
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depression
|
I have a question on why all subtypes of Autism was removed.
Why were all sybtpes of Autism was removed? Is there a scientific reasons as to why those subjypes of Autism were removed from DSM-5 and ICD-11?
Before 2013, in DSM-4, there was Asperger's Syndrome, Rhett Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, Kanner's Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified. And before 2019, in ICD-10, there was Asperger's Syndrome, Rhett Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, Kanner's Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified.
Now it is just Autism Spectrum Disorder, nothing else.
​
I felt confused, because before 2013, I had a diagnosis of PDD-NOS, but in 2013, I was considered to have ASD.
​
Is there any explanation as to why it is now just ASD? Does it sounds so broad to you?
I hope we can discuss about this topic, I still don't understand why they lumped all PDDs to ASD, I thought there are Non-autistic Pervasive Developmental Disorders as well.
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aspergers
|
I’ve been dating this guy for about a year now. He hasn’t fully opened up to me about what he’s going through, but he has outbreaks in front me. It’s difficult for me to see him go through this without exactly knowing how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking. I don’t want to force him or push him to open up to me because I want him to open up to me only when he’s fully ready. My problem is not knowing how to make him feel at ease or how to calm him down during his outbreaks.
It seems like he goes through a mixture of depression and anxiety sometimes at the same time. Hes had outbreaks in front of me and once lashed out at me for breaking his ritual. I didn’t know what the right words were to say or actions to do. He’s said he’s had it for a long time but I don’t truly know the severity of his case. This my first time experiencing something like this. Any advice?
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OCD
|
The title says it all.How do I get an ocd specialist
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OCD
|
I can usually pick up when I've made a social blunder based on subtle cues from people. I barely understand these cues, but I seem to be able to pick them up regardless.
From there I can analyze the situation (sometimes in a harmful, obsessive way) to find out what I did specifically that people reacted strangely to.
I think this process has helped me learn a lot of social skills, but I am still not good with social aspects of life. It's like I have a lot of the skills, but I didn't have the instinct. I had to learn the skills. And even now, I don't always know when or how to apply them consistently.
I almost think that social instinct wins out in the end over social skills. Because people can be great socially without having pursued any learning or trying to polish their skills. They didn't need to.
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aspergers
|
I have always felt different than my friends and suspected that that something was different but I wasn’t overly concerned. Recently tho, I’ve been reading about ADHD and am convinced I have it. Everything I read on here sounds like me, but I’ve never asked for help as, “help is meant for people who really need it, you’re just lazy” . I don’t think I’m a hypochondriac generally, but in this instance my brain keeps reminding me that, I probably don’t have anything wrong at all… all my struggles are in my own head.
So, I guess my general question is… do most people who self-diagnose have this same struggle, and if so what piece of information pushed you over the edge to ask for help?
At this point I know I have ADHD, but I’m still expecting the doctor to laugh me out of the room or at least deny me treatment. I feel like on the outside I present as having my ish together… but I know I need to get help :/
Thanks for listening :)
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ADHD
|
I don’t know what to do. I know there’s nothing there Bur my mind tells me there is! Why?! Why am I like this? Ugh
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OCD
|
I’m a 27F and I don’t know why but I’m embarrassed and worried about my CV. I’ve had lots of different jobs over the past 5 years and the longest I’ve stayed at a place is 4 months. I’m worried that I may be seen as “unemployable” and unreliable to future employers. I’m going through a divorce rn and I’m in need of a full time permanent job so I can get a new mortgage. I currently work at McDonald’s and have done for 2 months - it’s a sensory nightmare for me with zero routine/structure and I don’t think I can stay there any longer.
I want to get back into office work but it’s been hard to find a job in that area. I worked as a data entry clerk at the start of the year that I got through an agency and I was let go cause I wasn’t able to catch up with their deadlines (which is how I ended up at McDonald’s) I just feel really lost and frustrated atm and hope I’m not the only one with this issue.
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aspergers
|
Strap yourself in, it's a long one. I'll have a TL;DR at the bottom.
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So for context, I have had pretty severe Asperger's when I was a little kid. I still struggle with social situations a lot as an adult, but it's a lot than it was back then thanks to a combination of medication and learning how being social works. Point being I can handle a conversation fairly well and have it seem like I'm NT.
I was off work at the time, and I ordered some chicken tenders at a fast food place and parked my car to eat. As soon as I parked, a guy walked up to my right side window and started knocking. I thought at first that he needed me to move since I was parked pretty close to the pickup next to him. But no, he needed me to roll down the window. He recognized my shirt and asked me "Are you from University?" I said yes, and he then said "Could you give me a ride?"
I don't typically act speechless, but I kind of was in that moment. I didn't want to seem rude, so I made up an excuse of "Oh I'm waiting for someone here to pick me up." (I'm not really good at lying) I didn't want to pick this guy up. He kept asking me "Am I being a creeper?" over and over. I could instantly tell that this guy did not usually do well in social situations. He was clearly a University student, he wore trendy-but-not-really clothes with extremely short blonde hair that was obviously dyed, and a light jacket in 70-75 degree weather. His mannerisms were all over the place and extremely awkward. In my eyes, he clearly wasn't looking to steal anything or take advantage of me.
I was on a somewhat long lunch break, so I told him I would call him an Uber instead. He said that that was awesome, and then asked "Could I sit in the car with you?" My NT-side's red flag went up, most people would simply just wait outside the car until their lift would come, it's too weird and sketchy to have a complete stranger sit in your car like that. He then kept asking "...Is that creepy? Am I being a creeper?"
I hesitated for a little bit, but something about his mannerisms reminded me of someone with ASD. He said he works close to here, so I was thinking no one in the right mind would ever hesitate, stutter, or resort themselves to asking a complete stranger for a ride like that. But maybe it's not that he's not in the right mind, maybe it's because he's just not of an NT mind. Maybe his mind is going haywire and he's drowning and he needed someone to come along with a life preserver, but no one will because of how NTs work.
I want to preface this by saying you should NEVER let a stranger into your car like I did, especially if you're a minor or a somewhat severe Aspie. People can be smooth talkers, and it's especially hard for us since we can't read who's a smooth talker and who isn't. What I should've done is leave him outside my car (regardless of how creeped out he thinks I am), called an Uber for him, and waited until it came to pick him up.
I was growing a little impatient since the app was taking awhile to download. I don't usually call Ubers in general, so I would have to make an account too. When it was only 50% done I asked him where he lived and he said "Oh not far, just of to the left aways there. I need to pick up my key there." In my head, it was to the left of the highway, which veered off near a small neighborhood. It was a 5 minute drive, so I thought what the heck, I'll drop him off anyway since he's in my car. Before we left, he asked if I could get him some food for his grandparents. I said it was ok, and got him some chicken tenders. It might've been a bit too nice, but screw it I was feeling generous.
So we headed towards the 4-way near the highway, and he said "Ok, take a right here." Turns out we weren't heading into the little neighborhood after all. I asked him where his stop was and he said "Just off of CITY Drive." It was a little farther, but not too far. I thought *what's another five minutes*, and just decided to just drive him there.
I put on some music so it didn't get too awkward. [Toto XX.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE6a06ulqbA&list=PLlxn2ZB0x8n54FURfcj4xwo-HWiLt3bTz) Great album, best version of Africa out there.
So I was thinking he would be pulling into one of the neighborhoods there. When we got close, I asked "Ok, 23rd street?" He said "Nope, 10th street". So what was supposedly a 5 minute drive turned out to be around 20 minutes. It was even longer than I thought because he eventually wanted me to go down 6th street.
We eventually made it to our destination, which I almost missed since it wasn't even in a neighborhood: McAlister's Deli. It wasn't even off of CITY drive, it was off of the University next to the interstate. I could've drove him there a lot easier and had a better drive if I had just driven him on the interstate rather than the back roads. Also, in a series of miscommunications, it turns out what he wanted in the first place was to go to where his mom worked, pick up a key, and if I was heading back to where I was (which I told him I was planning on getting back to where I was), pick him up from McAlister's and drive him back.
That's basically where I drew the line. I dropped him off at McAlister's, and hopefully his mom would figure out where he needed to go.
I never really knew for sure if he had some form of Autism, I told him while we were in line for chicken that "Sorry if I seem pretty awkward, I have a sort of social syndrome". He never really followed that up with anything. I do know that he would've been extremely lost if I didn't drop him off, he might've hitched a ride with a serial killer or something. Hopefully his Mom gives him a talking to and he doesn't think to do that again. I was extremely peeved at the time, but looking back on it I think I did a really good thing.
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TL;DR: A stranger whose mannerisms suggest he might've had ASD asked me for a lift and some food. What turned into what I thought was a 5 minute drive turned to 25 minutes because of miscommunication. He expected a ride back, but I said no and he went on his way. I was annoyed but felt good about giving him a ride because he seemed extremely lost.
**DO NOT DO THIS IF THIS HAPPENS TO YOU.** If the person is lost, offer them an Uber or Lyft, and let them wait outside your car until they come pick them up. Do NOT let a stranger into your car, especially if you're a minor.
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aspergers
|
I am a writer by trade. I have been doing it professionally for over 20 years. And this still happens:
I will write a sentence and use a “big word” and then immediately doubt that I have used it correctly.
I then have to stop what I’m doing and either ask Google for a definition (she probably thinks I’m an idiot by now), or look it up on dictionary.com.
99.9% of the time I have used the word correctly. Sometimes in its most subtle but relevant form. And it surprises me every time.
It’s like I subconsciously have a dictionary and a thesaurus embedded somewhere deep in my mind that throws out the correct word while I am writing and my mind is like, naw. That’s not the right word.
But it is.
Does this or something similar happen to anyone else here? It would be interesting to know if this is an ADD thing (my diagnosis was ADD 10 years ago) or a Robotsarecoolsaysi thing.
Keep soldiering on!
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ADHD
|
I need to write everything down if I don't want to forget something, including writing out my schedule for the day, month, year, life...when my executive function is more cooperative. However, I'm really struggling between digital notes (in OneNote) and plain paper and pen. I prefer writing and retain the info better, but I dont have my notes on me at all times like I would my phone, so I often find myself saying that I'll write it down later and of course I forget.
I know this has been discussed a few times here before, but I'm hoping to get some more insights.
TIA!
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ADHD
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Is anyone afraid of touching things they perceive to be dirty but not sure why?
For example, the grout lines in my kitchen tiles are a bit damaged and debris collects in there. If I stand on the lines my anxiety spikes, I feel contaminated and start having awful thoughts about touching the dirty areas which make me want to cry.
However, I don't think I'm afraid of germs or becoming ill?
I do feel better if I change my clothes or wash my hands after but it also doesn't feel like I have to do that. I just don't understand what it is that I don't like about small areas of dirt, bits floating in water, people breathing near me and such like
I just feel so lost
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OCD
|
I’m going to try and keep my story as short as possible. I’m seeking advice and just other opinions/stories from you guys.
All my life I have been very very sexually active. My first blowjob was when I was 12 at a park next to my school. Ever since I have been so much into sex, woman, porn etc. Growing up prior to that I was constantly molested by 2 older male teenagers in my neighborhood. From sleepovers to playing in the park, they were always taking advantage of me. I believe now this is a big part into how I am today. Being exposed to sex like this at a young age severely messed up my mind. At least that’s how I look at it. I am not using this as an excuse for my actions that I will later explain. I understand I am an adult and there are consequences to my actions.
So the story I am going to talk about spans between 3 girlfriends. Starting from junior year of highschool. So first girlfriend, let’s call her Kailey. Kailey and I had a very toxic relationship. Fighting everyday and such. She would constantly “talk” to other guys and was very much an attention whore and she flat out said she seeks approval from other guys. We dated for 2 years and broke up with me for another guy. They then broke up and she got back with me for her to then break up with me for another guy. I have proof and whatnot of her flirting and wanting other guys during our relationship. This relationship really hurt because I never ever did anything disloyal to her.
2nd relationship, let’s call her Jessica. She was the sweetest ever to me. She was a prime example of a girlfriend. Super sweet and caring and extremely loyal. I started to just Stop caring and taking advantage of her by texting other girls, sexting and even cheating multiple times. Both with guys and girls. My reasoning for this at the time was because she was never really initiating sex and was very boring to me. It was always the same sex positions and I really like head and she didn’t really like it. So my mentality at the time being a 19/20 year old is : “ok fine you don’t want to please me then I’ll go get it from someone else.” And so I did. And did and did. It was constant and she found out everytime and always forgave me (bless her heart.) but of course she ended up breaking up with me in the end. And during that breakup I blamed her. Not that It matters now, but she ended up becoming a lesbian and we are great friends now.
Now, my current current girlfriend, I’ll her her Ashley. Man do I love her so much. She is truly the one for me, honestly. I would do absolutely anything for her and I have honestly never loved a girl so much before. But I fucked up. Bad. Here’s a quick story of our relationship.
The beginning of our relationship we were really good. Up until one night I had a party at my house and she was ignoring me the entire night and when I went up to her and her friend that were talking she totally blew me off, very rudely. This moment is cause for what I did later that night. After we all became really drunk, like 5 of us went into my room to sleep but I slept in my own bed and her 2 friends were sleeping in it and my gf fell asleep on the floor (no I didn’t make her sleep there). Me still being highly upset and really drunk her friend and I got into it and I ended up fingering her. I felt really guilty after that and days afterwards. I was so mad at her and then it turned into regrets and guilt.
Fast forward a few days and her friend ending up telling her. Ashley and I ended up breaking up for a week or whatever. She ended up forgiving me. And we continued on. Later on we started exploring the idea of threesomes with other girls. The first one we did I was extremely immature and just being dumb about it. I wouldn’t stop talking about it and always asked for it. She was very annoyed by it and basically told me no more.
Now here’s the main part of this story. She has this friend, a best friend. Let’s call her Aliyah. Aliyah is very sexual, constantly having sex with other people, going through relationships left and right. And we all know this. When the three of us would hang out my gf and her would kiss, be super flirty and what not. My gf and I even talked about having a threesome eventually. With this in mind, I would again, be immature and constantly push towards one. I would make comments about aliya having sex with Ashley. Such as “go makeout with her, come over and eat her out, I want to see you fuck Ashley.” As I’m typing this out I’m extremely grossed out and ashamed. This was about a year ago or so. I never realized this until last night where Aliya sent screenshots to Ashley Of me texting her saying stuff like this. I honestly do not remember sending texts or being like this. It grossed me out. Aliya and I ended up making out one night at the pool while my gf was upstairs sleeping and I kept pushing her to come upstairs and have sex with us. Like creepy pushy. She eventually left my house after being uncomfortable.
I never knew I made her feel uncomfortable. I never knew my comments were grotesque. I really wish she told me how she felt instead of leading me along and entertaining it. She would respond with “yeah we’ll all fuck, soon! Don’t worry.” I just feel like she always gave me impression of what I was doing was okay. Because I know that if someone ever told me something wasn’t okay I would immediately stop it. So when Aliya ended up texting my gf last night about everything she made it seem like I was just this guy who was super pushy and creepy. But she even admitted she entertained it as well so she was partially to blame. And my gf too said she played a part by saying she would eventually be down for a threesome one day. And it’s with recipe that I felt like it was okay to constantly be a “dude” and push for my fantasy. It’s like a kid at a candy store. I couldn’t control myself.
Aliya also went on to say that this one time I was really really drunk and I guess I was touching her ass saying let’s all fuck and stuff and she declined and that was that. I honestly have no recollection of this happening and I wish she would’ve told me at the time because now I’m starting to think if that’s really true.
There’s so much details to this but this is a very very short version of everything that’s happened. I’m so consumed by sex and porn and everything that I let it get the best of me. Lust has clouded my logical thinking and reasoning and will ultimately be the reason why I have failed This relationship. I am constantly battling feelings of wanting other girls and sex and what not. It’s extremely hard for me. I’m trying my best. I honest to God I am. I am not the same person or have the same mentality as I did a year ago or even 2 years ago. I am 25 years old now and there is no excuses for my actions but please understand that this is something I’ve been struggling with my entire life. Sex has clouded my mind and has been interfering with my logical thinking and morals. I don’t think a day has passed where I haven’t been horny thinking about sex. I’m into guys girls trans, etc. literally anything that has to do with sex and I wish I could just be normal. Sex has devastated my relationships and I just don’t know what to do anymore. As much as I want to control it I just CANT. My body itches for this fucked up addiction of wanting attention and sex.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story
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depression
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Hi everyone! I was diagnosed with ptsd about a year ago, and the trauma started to occur around age 14. I have also had chronic pain since around that age, and I think it might be caused by ptsd. My pain is mostly located in my lower back, but sometimes it will spread to my hips and down my legs. The pain is usually worse the more stressed out I am. The pain in my back is kind of an aching/throbbing type, and when it spreads it is more like an acute/stabbing pain. I also have an issue where my pelvis will go out of alignment super easily, which I think causes most of the back pain. I’ve talked to doctors and they were just kind of like “eh you’re a girl so you’re probably loose or whatever idk.” Basically I just wanted to know is this common? Are there any resources you would recommend where I can learn more about this? preferably something a doctor would think is “credible” in case this comes up in another appointment. Also does anyone have tips for dealing with this type of pain?
Sorry for the long, detailed post. Thanks in advance!
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ptsd
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im gonna make a long story pretty short.
about a month ago I had an incredibly severe panic attack. feeling of dying, digestive issues, intense shivering & fatigue, i actually had three of these and they all lasted 5+ hours. (i also didnt even know what panic attacks were.)
after the last attack of this severity, I woke up the next day with complete numbness of my arms & legs. I could still walk & move them, just completely numb.
I went to the hospital 3-4 days later and the doctor found nothing wrong in bloodwork, did a strength test which I did flawless on. So he said I have anxiety, gave me a 1mg dose of Ativan and I went home.
over the past month ive been to a stomach doctor, neurologist, had a brain MRI, did all the neurological tests… so far, nobody has seen anything very wrong
The issue is… i have never regained normal control of my body. Every single day I get different symptoms, although always getting very numb or weird feelings in my arms & legs.
Whether I feel too heavy or too light, knots in my neck, knots in my jaw/face/head, stomach bloating & disgestive issues, tingling in limbs, dizziness, all of these whenever I try to do anything difficult — these all lead to being scared of walking, scared of eating, scared of never recovering, scared of dying… the list is endless…
at least consciously, the physical numbness or loss of control always comes first, not the other way around — consciously, I just want to feel better…
Its been like a month long panic attack, and it definitely gets worse whenever I try to push myself to be like my old self. I have almost no relief, ever. I may have subconsciously been depressed for a while, and I’ve definitely always been anxious, as well as going through my fair share of traumas… but this has been like my world turned upside down, so rapidly, uncontrollably. All in all, ive made a very good life for myself financially, and ive overcome a lot of challenges, so this challenge of simply controlling my own body again & not getting any answers is torturing me.
I just wanted to see if anybody else has ever went through, or knows someone, or has seen something posted like this in relation to depression/anxiety. Because I cant find anything that fits my exact case, and quite honestly it’s probably impossible to have all of these symptoms and it all fit into one disease, without doctorsbut I’m terrified of never finding anybody similar to me and I’m terrified of something being wrong with me and nobody being able to treat it until its too late
im available to answer any questions. i do have a family history of depression & anxiety but i was always able to rise above it or keep moving forward for most of my life. i have been a bit addicted to self improvement, social status, comparison etc in my past. most of my family has really no history of any major diseases, basically everybody has lived until very old. but despite a commonality of depression none of them have related to what I’ve been going through
Thank you
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depression
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i feel like i want to get on a tv show, that everyone in the world is watching, AND THEN TELL MY WHOLE STORY WITH POCD, EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT, EVERY SINGLE COMPULSION, EVERY SINGLE THING, EVERYTHING!
how do i deal with this?
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OCD
|
I was searching for some of the characteristics of Aspergers, and one of the primary ones that I kept seeing was a serious lack of empathy or not being able to relate to the struggles of others. I had to laugh because I don’t feel that I lack empathy in most situations, but I can be blunt and direct sometimes. And, in this sub Reddit alone I see people practicing empathy for one another all the time. I get that perhaps some have trouble with it but seems inaccurate to make the blanket assumption that everyone does.
So what are some others takes on lack of empathy being a primary “characteristic” of Aspies?
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aspergers
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I just begun studying in the Netherlands this september and have been having a lot of issues since then. I don't feel like I belong here, I cannot sleep at all and have 0 motivation for anything, I liked this girl I met her for 3 months but due to my depression haven't gotten in touch with her, until last week she invited me to watch a movie with her and her friends. We cuddled and before I left we kissed, I felt for the first time in 4 month that I am not worthless and sole emotions at all. The next day we took some takeaway and went to her house, we talked for a bit and then I raised the topic about yesterday asked if she liked me and if she doesn't want s to be my girlfriend (i have really strong emotions when I am overwhelmed) she said that its too early, but i got the expression that she genuinely liked me. We had sex and everything was alright, I asked her 3 days in a row if she wants to go out with me but she refused all of them, I felt something was off and straight up asked her if she really liked me, she said that she cannot sustain an emotional connections and totally rejected me, the next day I bought roses and wrote her a poem, no answer from her the whole day. I was drunk and called her, it was disastrous I don't remember exactly what happened but after i got home i screamed and cried for 2 hours straight. I feel worthless and without a purpose, just wanted to let it all out bcs i dont have anyone to listen to me right now.
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depression
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I thought I was doing pretty well. I had my compulsions and rituals set up around my daily schedule. Sure it takes me 2 hours to get ready before I leave for work. Sure I take a long time in the bathroom. Sure I have two phones, a clean new one for work and a dirty one for home. But I was getting by just fine… then tonight something else pops up unexpected. It’s always so unexpected. It never just stays in the box that your rituals make for it… sigh… just feeling a little defeated tonight
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OCD
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For context, I have severe ADHD/ADD as diagnosed by my psychiatrist, and it’s hard for me to get up and get going to places on time, especially if I haven’t taken my meds. Today, my mom told me earlier that we would have to go meet some family friends around 3 PM (they live just a few mins away) for a small get together, and I agreed to join. I didn’t take my medication today (I only take it when I’m doing intense studying because of it’s side effects) and so 3 PM rolled around, and I was planning to be ready by 3:15. Obviously I do feel bad and I felt bad while getting ready, but around 3 PM, my mom screams at me from the other side of the door, calling me a low-life and saying I’ll never be successful, one of my biggest insecurities as a premed. She left the house without me but her comments really hurt my feelings, so I’ve decided to stay home because I’m crying too much. I know what she said wasn’t nice, but I can’t help but feel like i’m in the wrong because I couldn’t follow simply directions. What do y’all think?
TL;DR- My mom called me a low-life and unsuccessful (a big insecurity of mine as a premed) because I was running 15 mins late to a lunch thing she strictly told me to be on time for. I’m now missing said lunch thing entirely because I’m crying too much. Am I in the wrong though? Honest feedback please.
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ADHD
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This is all I’ve ever fucking known. I truly believe there is nothing outside of this. That everyone lives with this hellish curse and that some just happen to hide it better.
Life is abysmal and meaningless. Some live in ignorance of this while others endure it
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depression
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I've been prescribed some of each stimulant family. Stimulants in general have bad effects on me. I've tried a few non-stimulants as well. It seems like medications designed for ADHD do not help me in any way. If they do, I can't tell that they're helping me.
Anyone else experience this and what are you doing to address executive function and such without them?
EDIT: Caffeine is terribad. I'm one of those unlucky people whose blood glucose is affected by caffeine *and* am some odd kind of diabetic. I've accounted for blood glucose impact from stimulants in my experiments over the years. Blood sugar aside, stimulants still make me feel terrible and do not provide a benefit that I can detect.
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ADHD
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