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Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I need help badly.
ADHD & Anxiety have both ruined me. I have no plans for myself because I'm too anxious to go outside; and on top of that, my ADHD makes everything seem so boring (unless I'm really into whatever I am doing).
I've tried a TON to go out and get work before the virus, but I'm so incredibly burnt out from the process of finding a job. That, now, I just sit at home, sometimes doing online freelance work and making some money to support the things I want. Other than that, I don't have any real idea on what the fuck I want to do. Or, have any desire to try finding a job anymore due to either being rejected so many times, or just feeling burnt out to the whole "job hunting" bullshit.
I have zero patience for college, I know my ADHD will make it nearly impossible to concentrate in college. I have thought about doing a trade, but I know how time demanding those types of jobs can be, and I really value work/life balance.
I want to go to therapy really badly, but I don't want to burn through my savings since I don't have any health insurance. Please, someone here must understand how I feel. I don't know what to do with myself anymore...
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ADHD
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Some of the characteristics really resonates with me, like finding relationships hard, not being able to understand well when someone is sad or angry, getting exhausted in social situations and always need to pretending. I’m a female.
But there are things that I read that I don’t have, I’m not organized at all, I don’t have any obsessions, because I’m honestly dead inside. I don’t read, I don’t like watching tv shows anymore. All I do all day is watch stupid tiktoks so the day goes by faster and I can sleep.
I’m going to look for a second opinion, but do any of you guys have thoughts on this ?
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aspergers
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I female (21) been with my boyfriend (23) for 3 years and I am always patient with him. I looked up and did my homework on what there is to do when with someone with ADHD. I know it’s not his fault he can’t understand certain situations and doesn’t know how to handle them. He forgets very easily and we always have arguments about his adhd. I always help him with everything: Thinking, Making decisions,being respectful, being responsible, knowing his priorities, being hygienic, cleaning his mess, etc. Lately I been thinking his adhd is getting worse if even possible. We constantly argue now cause my patience is running thin and I just want him to treat me with love and respect and to understand my sadness or emotions. He barely started thinking about getting on adhd meds after being diagnosed as a child. He’s treating me like a slave/mother. He’s blaming his adhd on EVERYTHING. I just don’t know what’s real anymore. I love him so much but I NEED reassurance so bad. Am I the problem cause I’m not patient enough? Or does he got to get on some adhd meds and we will be mostly fine? I need advice please
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ADHD
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And I start recalling one of my childhood traumas that I had already discovered before but it was like I was thinking of it more accurately and as soon as i had, it made me really emotional again. I'd been kinda numb for the past week so I stopped myself not wanting these to be the first feelings/emotions I experienced when feeling again. Theres not a whole lot of positive emotion around me right now as it is...idk, is it time for EMDR therapy? If I'm rambling sorry
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ptsd
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I’m 27 yet I think so many things like a teen. I daydream about past craps and imagining a false life....
I’m waiting for my last interview on a job and I feel so anxious I’m not even able to sit down and learn programming because I lose focus. I tried coffee and ended up with an acid stomach instead of increase focus. I don’t even know how to write this post without messing up because my head is in so many places.
I am a child in a man body I feel hopeless and nobody seems to understand me, not even my partner. I want to be able to finish my programming courses but When I don’t understand something I feel like quitting instead of fighting to understand it. I want to be focused and also SUPER HARD WORKING instead of being a lazy fat. Help me, advice me before I end up crazy. I think the anxiety of this new job is killing me.
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aspergers
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r/SocialSkills autofilters all my posts as spam even when it's clearly not spam so I have to ask here instead.
In case I'm not interested in any drinks but get thirsty regardless, I bring my own drink into pretty much any restaurant I go to.
No one makes comments about that but I wonder how they feel?
They still ask if I want drinks even when they see my bottle at the table.
So how abnormal is it to bring my own drink inside a restaurant just so I only have their food? How is it thought of by the staff?
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aspergers
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It takes alot of mental energy to call a psychiatrist and the first time I tired just got a full voicemail box and ended up feeling very discouraged. I didnt have the courage to call for another 2 months, only to get a voicemail saying because of covid they wont take in office patents and to get ahold of your doctor.
Well I dont have a doctor. Easier said then done to get a doctor. My OBGYN just gave me a prescription for antidepressants. They help a bit but they only keep suicidal thoughts away. After I had my Daughter I started getting bad PMS simptoms and my OBGYN said to take B12 with my antidepressants.
I want to get tested for ADD because Im almost 100% sure thats whats wrong with me. I had symptoms as a kid but I was so mentally abused about the "ticks" that I can usually control them around people. Once I had my Daughter its like everything I worked on just fell apart.
I started reading about ADD and honestly it was like a missing puzzle piece that fit. Its like my brain was like, this is whats wrong with you. Others experiences seems so relatable and its so comforting knowing Im not the only one going through it.
My boyfriend supports all 3 of us and I feel so bad. I have 2 diplomas that I cant use bc im not mentally stable enough to go into the justice field. And I relised that it might have been just a hyperfixation to get me away from my homelife.
My family have a long list of mental health issues on both sides so I know that something other then depression is going on.
Mother: Depression, Narcissism, probs others.
Father: Bipolar, Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Sister: Bipolar, Depression, wouldn't surprise me if she had ADD.
Its hard to get a good history for people you dont trust or talk to.
But moral of the story, I have no idea what to do.
My mental health effects every part of my life. I want to get it sorted while my child is still young. I want a career. I want a life.
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ADHD
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Hi all, I’m new here so I hope this is appropriate. I have suffered from OCD for as long as I can remember, and constantly have paranoid thoughts that everything (even the smallest and most insignificant things) will end up killing me somehow. Here we are in 2021 and the pressure to get the covid vaccine is at an all time high. I believe in science and I am 100% for the vaccine. I believe that it’s important to get it, however my paranoid thoughts have stopped me from getting it up until this point (i.e. “if you get this you’ll be one of the very few people who develops complications from it and will die”). It’s really hard because I don’t want to be seen as selfish and irresponsible by not getting it, but my OCD/paranoid, delusional thoughts stop me every time. I guess my question is if there’s anyone else here that’s experienced something similar with being afraid of the vaccine and just having these kind of thoughts in general. It’s hard to not feel like I’m the only one.
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OCD
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the medication helps me focus more on things I find interesting, however when I'm listening or watching my teacher demonstrate something where I lack interest It's certainly makes me feel " can we be done with this now" mindset.
I was under the impression that the medication would allow me to do things longer, rather than wanting to switch constantly to different activities.
Did different types of medication benefit you better in that regard?
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ADHD
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I just want to get there already. I just want to have everything set up in my life and be content with it all. Like have a solid life with a house, wife, kids, and a job. Fuck trying to be happy cuz that’s only temporary. Happiness will come and go throughout life, so in reality I have no control over what will and won’t bring me happiness. I really just need to be satisfied. But will I ever be TRUELY satisfied? Why do I need to be satisfied w my life? I’m gonna die so why pursue satisfaction? Maybe I should just enjoy my life. Let’s say I just do me though, what do I REALLY want to do?I want to, what I want to doNot what everyone else wants me to do, or thinks I should.I keep fucking saying “I” but what about everyone else? The people around me? You are only one compared to millions. You should be more concerned w bettering the greater good. But you can’t do that if you don’t worry about yourself. Someone who is broke can’t fix anything. Who am I to say anything needs to be fixed in this world anyway? I’m not an all mighty ruler to decide if something is wrong. Everyone says things are wrong. Who are they to say so? I don’t understand a lot of things. Maybe I should try to understand things over my life instead of just having fun? But for what? Why understand it, if I’m not going to anything with the information learned? Then do something with it then? I could make a living off it. That will get me some food, home etc. But what about my mental? What is going to make you feel satisfied ? That’s the goal here. Satisfaction. Satisfy as many people as I can including myself. I just don’t know why I need to do that though. Why pursue satisfaction if I’m just going to die? Like, satisfaction isn’t going to get me anywhere. But it’s better than being unsatisfied with myself as a person and what I’m doing. So the first part of this is realizing why am I unsatisfied w myself rn? I got a good home, family, and friends? I went to a good school, had a decent childhood, graduated with a Advanced Diploma, and got into college. But nothing seems that “good”. Again, how could I be someone to deem this world, and my life, “good”. If you think about it, good and bad are a construct made by us as humans, just like all of our ideals. But that’s going off on a tangent, we were talking abouuuut my lifeee? Yah, is any of the stuff in my life so far been good to me? Have I really enjoyed it or just been told to enjoy these things by influential and authoritative figures in my life? Man wtf am I even talking about rn though. I wanna know what’s the point of me writing all this right now at 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.
If you made it this far reading my rambling thoughts, thanks for listening. Just remember when you feel alone in your thoughts, that everyone feels alone… so at least we arent alone in that.
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depression
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Leave a why to your answer below? I'm curious :)
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/nsphlt)
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OCD
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Hey guys, this question concerns people with OCD. I take my 100mg of Zoloft for OCD. I frequently ask myself how I should feel during exposure? As an example when going to the bathroom I try to limit my hand washing and my wiping/disinfecting of surfaces. I did this today and after that a flurry of thoughts emerged and I got light headed and dizzy. Is this normal at the beginning or did the medication stop this kind of reactions from happening? It‘s so frustrating when I overcome my fear and then get punished by it afterwards still...
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OCD
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I've realized I might have significant adult ADD that I need to reign in. I have a digital life that you can consider sprawl and it's to the point that it's ruining my productivity, happiness and ability to focus on what's important. This constant need for new information is eating away at my ability to focus. I work in IT and sometimes I switch consistently between having a million tabs open and have to put a hard break on getting into a scattered mode of working, by closing everything and starting over.
I constantly add things to growing lists, create new lists, take notes that aren't well fleshed out, start new notes without updating or referencing existing ones, hash out ill thought out projects, start new projects without seeing them through, scratch down ideas for stuff I dont plan on starting... I just feel like my digital life from side projects to note taking to general daily task management is getting out of hand. It's hampering my ability to achieve new goals, track progress on existing projects, get rid of stale or old notes/projects, and generally develop a healthy digital life that reflects that current state of where I am.
Is this ADD? Burnout? Or am I just getting old? Does anyone in IT have ideas of decluttering their digital selves so they can be more productive?
PS I have a history of this that I thought I conquered, as well as some other co morbid mental health challenges but I'm doing reasonably well. But I feel like if I dont reign this in it will affect me negatively.
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ADHD
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If you want some context to this post go and read the other post on my account.
I decided to split them up based on the type of trama, this one is about Medical complications and hospital stuff. (Including fire and cancer)
When I was 12 I had to have a life changing surgery. I had scoliosis and it was getting so bad so fast they had to operate early before it was beyond help.
This has made it so I am able to live my life I'm a more normal way, I'm no longer in a wheelchair or needing other mobility aids. But it's not all happy.
I had some bad complications with the surgery.
Firstly I had a bad reaction to the pain medication they put me on post op. They had picked morphine because I had been on oramorph (a weaker version) for a long time (and yes, I was talking morphine at 11. That should give some context to how painful my condition was pre op)
I reacted. I threw up alot, they had to take me off the pain medication so only an hour or two after the operation (minutes after I had woken) I was on no pain medication at all. It was the worst thing. It's like being stabbed, then having that dragged down the spine, then having someone drill into your spine and place rods in that your body didn't want. It was a 8 hour operation. Serous stuff.
Well that started a long list of complications. Another is that my blood wouldn't clot, so if they took out anything/ left open anything that they haven't already closed up I would just bleed and bleed. This led to blood tests several times a day till it was fixed.
Another problem is that my ribs had been crushing my lungs originally so when my spine was shifted my lung capacity increased significantly. I had to re learn how to breathe because I didn't know how to with the new lung size, I was on oxygen for a week.
And the one that still exists. They had to operate higher that normal on my spine, this has ruined the muscles in my shoulders and I have constant shoulder pain from it. This also combined with the fact my entire back, right underarm and half of my right boob is numb it causes alot of problems.
Because of all this, I gained PTSD. I have an extreme phobia of medical needles, just being in the same room as one sends me into horrible flashbacks. The same happens when going to Hospitals and I am very anxious about talking to doctors.
( Ofc I have no hate for doctors of the people at the hospital, I believe they have saved my life from something that was much worse. I couldn't keep existing in the state I was in (wheelchair bound in on off extreme pain) I plan to eventually raise some money for the NHS as a thank you to them, i didn't pay a penny for what they did and I am always very grateful. )
This is the first of many bad events in my life.
While I was still recovering my family had a house fire and my dad was in hospital for half a day and we lost a beloved cat. This left us homeless for a month (we lived out a hotel paid by insurance) we had nothing. We where them temporally moved to a bungalow while they fixed the house. This place was a horrible place. It was attualy set to be knocked down but the owners where nice enough to delay it so the insurance company could rent it for us temporally. This lasted about a year from what I can remember.
But then my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is the same woman my condition came from, she was already in so much pain and I watched her suffer through her treatment. It was stage 3, she had the whole 9 yards done. Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, the operation to remove her breast and nodes. Watching her suffer like that hurt me do bad. And didn't help with the hospital associations.
(I will talk about what happened next In pt 2. I wanna be able to split by trigger warning because the entire story has basically every trigger there is)
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ptsd
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i feel as if i require constant support and attention and it’s a lot to ask of friends and family. i’m so tired of feeling like a burden. i always second guess everything i say and do. it’s exhausting and i need constant reassurance. i don’t know... i’m just so sick of feeling inadequate and like i’m an annoyance to others. i just want to be a good friend and a good person. is that really so out of reach?
edit: i feel like even in posting this, i am seeking reassurance, which is something i am trying to cut down on. i just can’t stop messing up. am i just an attention seeking idiot?
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OCD
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Doing exposure seems to me as a kind of transgression to some rules that I impose on myself. So there is a feeling of something not right in doing an exposure. If it so happens by coincidence that something bad really happens after I have done an exposure, I would immediately feel confirmed that this is the result of my transgression, and throw me into a panic. This is especially so due to my disposition to superstition. Does anyone have done any exposure therapy? What advice, if any, did your therapist give you when encountering similar situation?
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OCD
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My body hurts, I'm hungry, but I just can't convince myself to get up.
Edit: thank you everyone for your kindness and support. I hope you all have a great and productive day. Sending virtual hugs to all of you!
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depression
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I feel like real event ocd isn’t really talked about much in the ocd professional community. I’ve been seeing an erp therapist for a bit now and she’s great!! But when I brought up real event ocd she said she had never heard of it/was unfamiliar with it. It’s just tough because at times I look back on my mistakes with forgiveness and compassion and then other times I contemplate ending my life over them. Anyone else struggle with this? There are a few videos on real event ocd but not too many and I wonder where else to look for help.
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OCD
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Since one of our symptoms is losing interest quickly, I'm curios what's something that you wish you were able to stick to or finish, so you become good at it?
For me it's:
* learn at least one other language ( another post about languages inspired my question )
* I'd like to be good at drawing
but I lose interest just as fast as it comes and once it's gone I can't get myself to sit down and put in the work necessary.
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ADHD
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I am 19, and on the autism spectrum. I look after my grandma who has advanced Alzheimer’s. I find myself getting extremely annoyed with her, even though it’s not her fault. It’s to the point where everything annoys me. The slow and unsteady way she walks, how when she talks she sounds meak and like she’s on her deathbed when she physically healthy, and how she asks me over and over if I need anything to eat. It makes me feel guilty because I know she is just old and is trying to make sure I’m okay. She has loved me unconditionally my whole life and now that she needs it back I’m being selfish. I can’t seem to get over how being around her makes me feel and it makes my parents upset that I get upset. Am I terrible for being very irritated by this? I know it’s wrong, but every time she speaks or does anything it puts me on edge, and I can’t seem to move past it, but I want to do bad. Any advice for this? Sorry this is so long.
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aspergers
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I'm 22 and going through the process of getting diagnosed with Asperger's. I haven't even considered that being a possibility until my new therapist mentioned it to me (I have my next appointment in a week). There are multiple things I'm experiencing that point towards it, but I'm having issues discerning between whether I'm experiencing tics/stims or I'm just over analyzing it.
I remember as a child I used to pace around a lot, I had one 'bad habit' (as my parents called it) where I'd constantly throw my neck back, but I did this because it was a way to crack my neck. They would constantly tell me to stop doing that and if I remember correctly I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't stop doing it. I've also had facial tics as a kid as well, I remember a kid on the bus (during middle school I think) that would point out and mock my face scrunching up a lot. The only other notable one I remember was during high school when I'd constantly suck air onto my teeth because of a cavity, I couldn't stop doing it for some reason.
\--
After Asperger's being mentioned, I have started to take notice in these things and I'm finding out how often I tic/stim, but I'm having an issue identifying whether or not I'm actually doing that or if it's just a case of over analyzing. Here are a few physical tics I've noticed:
* \-Foot wags occassionally in-between steps, only the left one.
* My left hand will sometimes lift up, and my thumb will touch my fingers (think of an upside down Italian gesture), this happens when my arms are swaying with my walk.
* Facial tics: eyes widening, moving eyes around to get a 'stretch', lips wiggling, squinting
* Sometimes tensing certain muscles (not sure if normal or if a tic), mostly shoulders and calves but can happen everywhere
* I'll stretch my thumbs until it kinda springs upwards, hard to describe.
* Snapping, I seem to do this when my mind jumps from one thing to another or back tracks (if I forgot something somewhere, I'll turn around and also snap)
* Hands will occassionally be fidgeting (this was brought up by my old therapist)
Then there are vocal tics, which is tricky because I have no idea whether or not most of these are voluntary or not. I feel like I should know whether or not I'm doing them voluntarily but they only happen in certain situations. I won't vocally tic infront of someone, or atleast I don't think I do. Here are a few I've noticed:
* tongue clicking, this is the first one I noticed before Asperger's was even a consideration. At the time I started watching a streamer called Sweet Anita who has severe tourretes, and I feel like I picked it up from her but at the same time I can't tell.
* Wooing, I've noticed this as work and I feel like I've done this infront of people a lot.
* Hup hup, I don't know if this is a tic or not, if I'm doing something physical I'll let out a 'hup' while I'm doing it. It could just be a noise that my body makes to help lift it up but I'm not sure.
* Turkey noises, I find myself making my lips into an O and wiggling my tongue to make a turkey noise. Again I have no idea whether or not I'm actually doing this as I don't do it around anyone, although I think I have at one point and I really hope they didn't see it lmao.
More on vocal tics, they seem to just happen and then I'll notice them. Which I guess points towards involuntary but I haven't had vocal tics as a kid, and I still feel like I'm lying to myself and doing them on purpose (but that'd also be involuntary?). They almost feel like something my mind does when it's in-between doing something. I have found myself getting frustrated at myself for doing these, and I'm not sure if it's getting progressively worse or if it's always been like this. I have been known to making weird noises, but I think I've done them on purpose.
And again I have an appointment next week and I'm actively working with him on this, I would just like to get some answers if possible because having to wait over a week is incredibly difficult as it seems to be on my mind 24/7 and I'm borderline psychoanalyzing myself every minute of the day trying to catch these tics, so idk if I'm just making it worse or even causing it to happen by doing this.
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aspergers
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I took Vyvanse 30MG for the first time yesterday, I felt its stimulant effects for the whole day; increased heart rate, high awakeness and alertness, lots of anxiety but my focus and concentration were bad if not worse than when sober.
Today, I took the same dose, no anxiety, no increased heart rate, only high awakeness and no increase in focus or concentration yet again.
What is wrong with me? This medication was my last chance on ever fixing my ADHD problem, sucks...
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ADHD
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With everything going on currently this subject has been on my mind more than ever .I worry that if I were confronted by police or stopped for any reason I would have problems due to my PTSD. Either a panic attack and they would assume I’m intoxicated , or I would be unable to follow commands and be shot . So many people are unaware of our condition and do not know how to recognize when a person is in a state of panic or mania . I’m an incredibly nervous person and sometimes I just genuinely worry about these kind of interactions playing out badly .
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ptsd
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Long post sorry: I was abused and mistreated in high school, mostly over school grades. I didn't live with my parents at the time but they have also sided with my abusers and still give me a hard time about school.
I'm a senior in college now. I'll be graduating soon but my GPA is trash. The only option I really see for myself for a career rn is teaching, and tbh the idea of it scared me.
I don't go to church because there was a lot of emotional toxicity that happened with religion during the time of the abuse. I just unfriended someone in Facebook who added me years ago just so they could keep tabs on me during the time. I don't talk to anyone really from that time period unless we were school friends and my parents.
My parents want me to move back in but I've told them no because they still live in the same house that I took too many punishments in. And tbh I'm getting tired of them too because trying to reconcile the hurt with them trying to be loving parents is getting to be an energy drain.
Would y'all have gone to college after such a rough high school time?
I feel like the intense learning environment is triggering. The early mornings and constantly studying with the fear of failure due to adverse consequences looming overhead is triggering. I've been having nightmares and flashbacks like crazy. I really want to quit and feel like I shouldn't have went back to try to graduate again, and shouldn't have started university at all.
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ptsd
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ofcourse id rather use supplements so im all ears to hear you guys experience. and no not some little b vitamin..... something that genuinely atleast 10% decreased your ptsd symptoms
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ptsd
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2nd yr premed here thats struggling in prereqs rn. i go to an ivy so ya its pretty fucking hard. however, ive tried so many different study methods and none of them seem to work. ik the material but timed exams are hellish for me. (i finally got an A on a science final after getting my 1.5x accommodations + adderall but even then, it was bad bc i kept obsessing over a singular question thanks to the adderall).
after taking adderall this past term, i literally just studied all the time but still struggled to break class median.
here's how i study:
\-annotate notes directly onto the lecture slides
\-create study guides w/o looking at my notes before the test to basically rewrite the entire unit (active recall)
\-do problem sets again + look over in class p sets if i have time
\-attend review sessions hosted by the ta, attend office hrs with questions, and schedule individual one on one meetings w/ the ta for more individualized help
idk what else i should be doing. im a really inefficient studier bc a single lecture takes me 4x the amt of the time as a neurotypical person, even on 2x speed. i also struggle w/ getting the motivation to study for science classes/exams. this is going to be such a disaster when i have to study for the mcat and orgo down the road.
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ADHD
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Stressors: I work 3 day 12 hr night shifts, I’m in school full time, i don’t have a good family dynamic- included mental illness
Things I do to help: I have a supportive bf i can talk to and i exercise.
I don’t have too many friends and with my schedule it becomes difficult.
Even with the things I do to help, I just don’t feel happy or a sense of joy or excitement. My days off, I just don’t have energy and want to sleep.
I’m wondering if I should try antidepressants. For those who have taken it, how has it helped you feel?
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depression
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Today my anxiety relapsed and I just feel terrible, I’m worried I’m going to go back to old practices of having multiple panic attacks everyday. I feel so hopeless and unmotivated to do anything
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OCD
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I still dont know if i have ocd but im kinda pretty sure of it?? Am I the only one who asked themselves what is like to love? what do you feel? what do other people feel? what is a connection and attraction? I’m really obsessing with that and i HATE it, i just can’t anymore. Im also pansexual and for some reason i obsess with; what do gay people feel? what do pansexuals feel? etc… and idk why i need to know that bc then i start questioning my sexuality again? I hope i’m not the only one feeling like that. Idk if its existential ocd or??
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OCD
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This post is not to offend anyone, but I realize that this can be a sensitive topic for many and apologize if this is offensive. I truly just don't understand, and would like to.
The way I understand 'queer' is that it was originally derogatory (and still can be), but has come to mean someone who is not straight or not cisgendered.
In the 'LGBTQ' acronym, it acted as an umbrella term to capture all sexualities/genders not already in LGBT (all of which are 'queer').
Where I get confused is the addition of the '+' or other letters. Is the '+' something else? Does 'Q' still have a place? Is someone who is asexual or intersex (and nothing else) technically still cis and straight?
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aspergers
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So I basically thought about having a baby and breastfeeding it but then my chest got this weird sexual ticklish feeling that was almost orgasmic and now I’m terrified of having a child as this feeling means that I enjoy it and am attracted to children and want to do sexual stuff to them. Please help me.
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OCD
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Crazy kind of OCD?
I have some crazy OCD thoughts and I wonder if anyone here has the same thoughts and can handle them.
My OCD always let my think about my boyfriend and his whole life. I live his complete life and my head and compare it to my life which is a big mess.
Another thought is very very horrible. It tells me that I will be old some day and everything will be gone and so I can‘t enjoy and do things anymore. I really lose touch to reality because my thoughts are in my 80s.
Another OCD thought is that I can‘t live alone. I want to move out from home or move to another country. My ocd says something bad will happen to me or my parents. They will die when I‘m not here.
Does anyone has the same ocd thoughts? Can‘t be the only one.
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OCD
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My obsessions over the last five years (really longer, but I was at the tipping point 5 years ago and I had something of a breakdown I guess you could say) have been solely based around sexual assault and family members. Rarely do I ever think that I’m going to do something wrong, but I can’t stop wondering if my family violated me or will violate someone sexually. For context I was abused by a relative as a child. It has made dating and sex awkward for me and I’m almost 31.
Most recently I saw my dad show my niece an outdoor shower while we were away and I thought he either said “do you want to take a shower with me tomorrow out here?” Or “do you want to take a shower out here tomorrow?”. I’m not 100% sure, never will be 100% sure what he actually said but am leaning towards the latter. I texted my mom about it because both she and my dad know a lot about my struggles, we have been very open about everything. She said that she thinks she heard him say “do you wanna take a shower out here?” In a joking manner (I heard it i a joking manner also) and that I should not worry about this and that my dad would never hurt my niece.
I don’t know what to think. Just move on? I mean I’m fairly certain it was an innocuous thing to say, and I do believe my dad wouldn’t ever do anything perverted to her. I’m just sick of these obsessions. I can say “move on” t myself but then I wonder if they’re just lying to me for my sake (I am sure this is also an OCD trick). What do you all think? Thank you
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OCD
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I've had this discussion with my partner over and over. I have ADHD and meds helped me a great deal - my partner has observed this and ever since then, he has been wondering why it's not something all people can pick up without perscription/get perscription easily.
I am NOT of the opinion that the medication should be broadly accessible for the following reasons:
* There are health risks associated (e.g. damage to cardiovascular system)
* You need to stop people from overdosing, otherwise you're giving out (weaker) legal speed???
* Regular use might cause adhd-like symptoms in a non-adhd person once the medication wears off
* As a neurotypical person, it may be hard for to grasp what "focusing better means" - for us, it's just being able to inhibit the reaction to distractions. I don't think that would really help a non-adhd person much.
​
What's your take on this? Do you have some resources (research, articles, discussions, ect.) on what happens to non-adhd people on stimulant meds? All answers are appreciated!!
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ADHD
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This shit is basically occupying majority of my day and I'm fucking tired of it.
I'm on clomipramine, 50 mg at the moment, and I've seen progress but maybe I'm inpatient and wanting quicker results.
My obsession revolves around my eyes blinking. If I try to resist I can feel the urge under my eyelids to just *blink*
What other meds work for this type of OCD, other techniques to deal with it? I know someone who used fluoxetine and olanzapine and lucked out, but I wasn't willing to switch to that combo at the moment because I'm wary of antipsychotics
Thanks
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OCD
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I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 16 and am 24 years old currently. I usually take concerta 54mg, then when I feel I have a lot to do I take ritalin- short term release (10mg), i can go up to 5 ritalin a day with no problem when I have many tasks. However, my ritalin has finished and i am stuck with 54mg concerta till next week as i am not in my country and couldn't get another prescription. I have a meeting in a bit and its been 5 hours since my initial 54mg of concerta, can I take another one now? Has anyone tried if its okay to do so?
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ADHD
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Does anyone else experience poor memory because you are always in your head thinking about your fears and intrusive thoughts? It kinda scares me when I can't remember why I walked into a room or what I was just doing. I also feel a bit dissociative because of this.
​
\*Thanks for making me feel not alone everyone! I feel like this is more common with people with ocd than I thought!\*
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OCD
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About a month ago I had a accident at work and caught on fire and went to the hospital. It wasn’t to serious but I did spend two days in the hospital with my hands bandages and in extreme pain. To the doctors shock iv made a near full recovery with all my tendons healed and full control with my hands in only a month. I’m back at work on light duty despite me being told at the time it would take around four months for me to be back. The problem is my mind has been plaguing me endlessly. It feels like every time I let my guard down I’m back at a almost warped image of the accident or thinking and regretting all my mistakes that day and I have to snap myself out of it by watching tv or focusing on something else. My mood has also been all over the place lately. Any advice on what I should do? Is this even PTSD or should I go elsewhere
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ptsd
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this year but especially more recently i've been having a hard time eating food that i make. i can't cook much but one thing i've always liked is rice dishes. but every time i fix something with rice and usually just some pepper onion and chicken i'll be disgusted by the smell the next day and have to not think about it to eat the food. then a couple or few more days pass and i usually cant even eat it cause the taste, due to the smell, will bother me. i think i partly get psyched out because i'm expecting this to happen. this also happened with some spaghetti i made another time, but usually i can eat that stuff better.
although, my family member made us some vegetable and beef soup on sunday which i LOVED but thought tasted odd yesterday and ended up dumping the last few spoonfuls of cause i just couldn't eat it because of the taste! i successfully and happily ate a salad later though 👍
i've got this thing ever since eating mushrooms that had started to go bad where i think if i don't eat a dish that includes vegetables in a quick enough time that they're rotting the entire thing and ruining it. doesn't help i'm bad at fixing meals in a suitable time and produce doesnt last long.
my friends think all this is an adhd thing which i'm sure it is. adhd fucks with you at every possible moment. have you guys dealt with this? what do you do about the issue of being disgusted by your own food?
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ADHD
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Inattentive ADHD runs in my family. My dad, brother and sister all present pretty severe traits (I'm the only one that has sought diagnosis as an adult). My son also has it.
Someone introduced me to yoga as a teenager and I fell in love with the practice. I've been practicing on and off for 25 years. (consistently inconsistent... y'all know how it goes.)
Back in 2015, I decided to make an investment in myself and enrolled in a 200-hour yoga teacher training. We had to attend classes 3 evenings a week and the entire weekend for 3 months. There was a LOT of theory and meditation practice. I told myself I can commit to something for 3 months, especially if I paid a lot of money for it. I finished the 3 months and got my certificate.
This was back in 2015 and it has changed my life to this day, you guys. I wouldn't say it "cured" my ADHD, but certain things that have plagued me for life (constantly misplacing things, living in squalor, social anxiety, self loathing) are almost completely eliminated from my day-to-day existence.
Other things are still a challenge. I'm still a terrible procrastinator, and I still have a lot of trouble focusing on conversations and tasks for more than a few seconds at a time. I actually never became a yoga teacher because I realized I could never hold an entire yoga sequence in my head, and replicate it on both the right and left. I can also NEVER remember my right from left so was always messing up the verbal cues for my classes. Lol. Oh well.
Wondering if there is any science to support immersive meditation practice as a treatment for ADHD? Obviously it's a lot more work than taking meds (which I also do), but I have found it even more effective and the results more lasting.
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ADHD
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Before depression, I was extremely ambitious and successful, but a total workaholic. I think this contributed to my depression, as well as my lack of sleep. When I developed depression, though, I never had the energy to go after my goals and getting through the day and taking care of myself was hard enough.
Well, I went on meds two years ago after realizing something had to give, and ever since then, I’ve been back to my typical self who is driven and always seeking to grow and improve. Better, in some ways. I’ve accomplished a lot and I’m extremely proud of myself.
However, I can’t fight the fear that my meds give me some sort of unfair advantage, which is so stupid because I know that’s not true. I study neuroscience and psychology and I know that meds just restore you back to a normal functioning level like before your illness. For example, the people know with ADHD don’t have some sort of unfair advantage over others because they take Adderall since THEY ACTUALLY NEED IT.
Even still, I feel guilty calling my accomplishments my own because I know if I had never gotten treated, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It’s so illogical but it still bugs me, especially since my meds have given me more energy (I’m on Bupropion). This was a reason it took me so long to go on meds, too. I wanted to be able to attribute my successes to myself alone.
Does anyone have any insight into this or a way to cope with this feeling?
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depression
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If imaginal exposures don’t make you feel anxiety, does that mean the thought you’re having isn’t actually an obsession/an intrusive thought or just that you’re having a hard time properly “imagining” the exposure? I hope this makes sense!
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OCD
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I just don’t understand how autism is just so undesirable to them. It’s not like their kid changed or anything because of their diagnosis. I’ve been watching these tiktoks lately of parents crying and being overly sentimental about their kid being autistic, like why does it have to be a big deal? What’s so wrong with autism? I’d also apply this to the whole “vaccines cause autism” thing like I know they fucking don’t, but even if it were true what’s so bad about it? Why do people fear it so much? I just wish I could understand their reasoning.
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aspergers
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As the title says... I try to focus and get work done, but I feel like my entire body just refuses. I get so disgusted by the idea of focusing on what I don't want to do that I feel like throwing up. When I try to put off distractions to force myself to work or stare into empty space, self control goes loose and I'm scrambling for my phone 3 minutes later. I just want to get things done and enjoy leftover quality time doing what I like... but I just can't.
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ADHD
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No one will probably read all of this, and it probably will not make any sense or be relatable and only make me feel more misunderstood and further contribute to the paradox of the loop I'm in of being disconnected, but I talked to a friend about this and tried to explain it and ended up writing it out more analytically of why and how this trigger caused all this to happen. I still hate that I'm even doing this, because it all would've worked out and this day that happened would've been the best and most important day of my life and I would've come to understand it as a core belief as to why things were meant to work and my will to be flexible on this important day had won, instead of a stupidly tragic trigger causing life to feel pointless in that all the effort I put into this day and week and relationship and life of mine was pointless, as it had to be ruined at the ultimate moment of resolution and when I was hours away from complete freedom after a lifetime of being stuck and would have spent a following lifetime being free, but now am permanently stuck and fucked forever. I will try to explain, because I feel I am very analytically gifted, although I will probably just sound crazy, as the nature of this loop serves to cause me to sabotage and be further disconnected from others, it's a paradox I can't escape, and I'm fucked. The emotions that would have resolved naturally and I would have learned from in a state of hope and then healed and used my experience to help others, I can only look at now to understand why this happened, although all ability to accept my reality now is ruined and it doesn't matter, because of the nature of the loop I'm in, and I'm fucked and want to die.
I’m just terrified because everything I’ve ever experienced has been fake and pretend but I finally would’ve resolved and gotten out of it the next day and felt and been real and connected and it would’ve stuck and now I’m fucked and life will be fake and pretend and pointless for the rest of my life and I will forever be disconnected and permanently a sociopath with no true emotion other than anxiety and terror and despair and dysphoria because my means to escape it and feel and become real was destroyed and it would’ve stuck and I would’ve been stuck in the real, but I was forced into being stuck in the triggered/ruined/pretend, and now I’m fucked. Maybe it could start to feel like it resolved if I had shifted my attachment onto another girl and give up, but I couldn’t and can’t because I loved my girlfriend, and this is where the real problem lies. She is forever contaminated, which means I will now always feel this way permanently as long as I am with her or focused on her. However, I will never be able to accept that things with her would’ve or even could’ve worked and been perfect and we could’ve/would’ve stayed together/dated etc, but that now it’s irredeemable in that whenever things went bad, I always believed it was meant to work and would resolve it to still be with her while she was home, but we weren’t at the point of staying together indefinitely yet, which was perfect and meant to be because I recognized we would have been if I hadn’t sabotaged with my OCD, and I was both terrified and torn up inside because I knew we had the perfect connection and loved each other, but I didn’t want my OCD to get in the way and sabotage it. This explains why her going out of town was the make or break moment, as it was my mind’s way of “deciding” whether it was meant to be, as whenever I deal with an external issue, it leaves some of it up to chance. Now, the reason my OCD freaked out that week, was for two reasons. One, it was a significant anticipation of a continued and reliving of my core trauma, except the greatest of my life, as it was the only person I had ever been that close to, and happened to be a romantic relationship, and that she would be gone for so long and there was so much uncertainty. However, it ALSO freaked out, because it knew it was likely going to die. I realized this after the fact, as it was likely no matter what happened that week/the day she left, I was going to decide it was good enough, because I cared too much for it to feel ruined and then be sabotaged, and that I would then use the summer to be motivated to beat my OCD and move forward. My OCD was quaking in its boots, as it knew it would probably die. However, that night, the ONLY thing that could’ve possibly happened and was a 1/9999999999999999999999999999 chance of happening, happened, triggered me into the ruined state permanently, and reinforced every fear I’ve ever had and prevented me from finally expressing the grief I had always had stored in my body and then finally being able to be done with the “right/wrong” dialogue and permanently be committed to moving forward regardless of whatever relevant triggers presented themselves, and would’ve done so THE NEXT DAY and FINALLY been free in a way I never even understood to be possible after 24 YEARS. I’m fucked now. I would have finally been completely connected to my mom and others and healed, as I would’ve processed the grief of my girlfriend leaving and missed her, rebuilt my association with this grief, because instead of feeling doom, everything would’ve been resolved, the grief would’ve been associated with the motivation I had to move forward and become independent and beat OCD, I would have been motivated by all the good memories of my duality feeling real instead of all the bad ones (when the good memories are the actual reality, which is why I am now disconnected from reality), and this paradigm I lived in where I could only experience connection in the form of grief would’ve healed, because it would’ve been the first circumstance I didn’t sabotage to re-experience the grief; my girlfriend was just going home for the summer; things would’ve still felt right; and I would have been completely free to live real life and choose reality over the OCD. This associative healing would’ve rebuilt my biology; I would’ve been too motivated by the good and the resolution to let the sabotage back in, especially after having processed that she had left; and the divine complexity of this routine finally leading me to an ultimate moment of perfect resolution, given the fact that I am only able to feel hope and motivation within the context of perfectionism, and that the perfectionistic loop was closing, would have finally led to perfect and complete recovery, but was ruined, and now the grief of this trigger contaminating my experience and keeping me from healing from and escaping this alternate reality of the duality I lived in of things feeling right/wrong when it would’ve ended right rather than wrong and I would’ve decided to be done and then finally feeling done and free and real and ready to move forward and resolved and connected to the girl I loved and at peace with the duality so I could let go and be free of it (which explains why now I, again, feel like I’m living \[and am living\] in an alternate reality, as instead of the duality resolving and being brought to reality, I became stuck in it, and now it’s more real to me than life, when before it was a bridge to life and paralleled it, and if this had worked, life would’ve been real and I would have emerged from the state of trauma I’ve been in my entire life and finally felt and been real and connected, and life would have been more real than the duality and I would have escaped my loop of sabotage and finally been present and connected instead of having to pretend and then subsequently sabotaging involuntarily because of the emotional disconnection, everything that was also lost from life, the relationship became contaminated and I manifested it into being sabotaged, as I finally allowed it to get off track (when, ironically, not wanting to let it get off track would have finally given me the urgency I had never have to end this right/wrong duality and move forward and finally be freed of it), and because of this, I cannot latch my duality of attachment onto Grace paradoxically then motivating me to be independent while she was gone and to use the time she was gone to maintain the sense of worth and direction I felt with her and reassociate a healthy attachment onto friends and a job and my mom and everyone and everything, and then eventually myself and achieve independence, and her time away would’ve allowed me to maintain the sense of worth and direction I felt within the relationship by this desire to maintain the trajectory, but before having been poured into an OCD routine trying to make each day go well, but then instead over the summer, she would’ve been gone, there would have been no need to do it to go see her because I could just do whatever I wanted since she would be gone, I would feel no urgency with the day and not stress but all the motivation to improve so things could work when she got back, and it would’ve been the perfect catalyst to heal from my grief, as I would have been motivated to move forward after a recent loss without sabotage because I would have EMOTIONALLY UNDERSTOOD that she would be coming back and it would’ve been my chance to move forward and do it. Now, instead of just simply saying “it resolved” to my friends, never talking about OCD again to them, and just moving forward, and probably attaining a euphoric understanding and belief why it worked out and was meant to, this trigger colored it, redefined my entire perspective on life and people and trust and humanity, and this long term struggle with deciding if people were inherently able to be trusted and for me to connect with them, or even more so, that I could trust myself to do so, would have ended and healed and resolved on the note that I believed it was meant to work with my girlfriend, and therefore others, and that the grief could be overcome and heal and was invalid in its projection onto future circumstances, and I would have been set free, instead of now having been trapped for life.
​
I have sabotaged every friendship ands relationship and made them a part of this and instead of suddenly doing my routine and feeling normal and ok again and being able to restart, I can't knowing what would have been, and I'm fucked and want to immediately end my existence as it is the only solution.
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OCD
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Well, getting new friends is difficult so I hope I'll find someone here.
I'm 18yo Russian dude, really into gaming and besides adhd have aspergers. I mostly play roblox, hoi 4 and games from my steam library https://steamcommunity.com/id/SeeYaInDaAbyss/
Really Anyone's welcome tho please be around my age (16-20).
Isn't necessary but would be cool if u were some sorta artist, I used to have few artist friends and feeling happy for them enjoying things they like was really nice.
If I ever become productive I really hope to get into drawing (especially comix), 3d sculpting, programming and few European languages.
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ADHD
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I know everyone thinks their OCD is special, but I have really not been able to find any information on this at all. I've always been a jealous person, whether it be because of other people hanging out without me, my friends being richer than me, or my crush talking about other guys. I've also noticed that this emotion of jealousy is coupled with OCD compulsions, like asking questions or checking peoples' social media. It seems that nobody's written about this before, which is strange. Does anybody else have this type of OCD?
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OCD
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Recently I’ve become invested in a specific franchise that brings me strong feelings of nostalgia from the time I first engaged with it. I love the feelings it gives me so much and the story is incredible, but I’m becoming obsessed with it. I’m scared I’ll forget about it tomorrow or it will cease to be. I just love it so much and I am terrified of losing my great memories with it and the characters I’m attached to. Every time I see it now I get upset. Does anyone else experience this and what should I do?
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OCD
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Recently I opened up to my dad again about having intrusive thoughts, I broke down in tears explaining to him. Although I told him I don’t want to explain these thoughts I now have a therapy appointment this week. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD but I believe I have it. It all started during quarantine. My past mistakes as a kid completely hit me and I went into hell. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, even my dog. I felt like a monster, combined with intrusive thoughts. It was a nightmare, true nightmare. Throughout the course of time, up to this point it has gotten so much better, now that my mom and dad are aware and they’ve been checking in with me. But some days can be so hard, while others are ok and some are fantastic. I have sexual, violent and just random intrusive thoughts that sometimes feel so real and it scares me to the brink. I am not suicidal, although I have had thoughts, I will never do it but they are there. Some of these intrusive thoughts are visible scenes while a lot of them are auditory and I hate the auditory because it always starts with, “I”. “I want to-“, and that scares the living shit out of me. I can barely stand watching killer documentaries or listening to the news because I just get so worked up in my head, like what ifs, like impending doom constantly. Like I said I worry when I feel good. Some days are so great, a sense of normality and clear head but the next day or at the end I start too question it, why am I allowing myself to feel at ease? These thoughts are fucked up. What if I am a pyscho? Etc. And I just get so scared. When I am out with friends or playing games or socializing, it doesn’t exist, these thoughts aren’t there. It often hits me when I am idle. During school it can be a real battle. I just always second guess my thoughts, what if I am truly pyschopath? What if I am a monster? I just want to know and this Wednesday I probably will but regardless it causes so much pain. Every time I look up OCD false urges or feelings, it just brings up so many things and it cause immediate panic like hypersexuality or POCD Nd I just stress out, I completely panic.
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OCD
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The title says it all. I can’t do anything anymore that make me hot or sweaty. I can’t go outside, I can’t exercise, and I just overall feel pretty miserable. I just consistently need to feel completely clean. I can’t even sleep unless my hair is wet. Yesterday I went shopping with my friends, and I started freaking out in the car on the way home. Ripped off my clothes as I walked into the house, started crying, and immediately jumped into the shower. I just want to be able to go outside my house without being absolutely miserable. Has anyone else dealt with this? Do you have any advice? Currently on Prozac to work on this.
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OCD
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I can't start a new friendship or a relationship without thinking that they want to do something bad to me. I can't trust anybody. I'm only thinking that I don't deserve to be loved and respected I just deserve the worst because that it's okay for me. Since I finished high school and moved to Italy , I haven't respond to most of the messages that my "friends" send me. They aren't bad people, it's just that at the beginning of our friendship I thought it was ok to be humiliated by them. They said they are sorry but at that time I feel really bad, nobody was for me. What I thought was a healthy friendship was not and I have to be with them for 7 years. I was just 10 years old. Now I feel like it doesn't matter what I do, there's this feeling of terror that people will hurt me. It happened once, all the bullying the humiliations ,the gossips, the blows directed towards me, being rejected. I dont want to feel like that anymore. Maybe they won't hit me but the psychological abuse is something I'M REALLY AFRAID OF. I want to start again but It's SO DIFFICULT AND THAT MAKES ME SAD.
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depression
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My ptsd has been manifesting in strange ways (I just left college and got most trauma from childhood)
I've started having auditory hallucinations, like hearing glass break and murderous screaming.
I've also been having dreams about my primary abuser, or others would call her my mother. I'm a divorcee (I and past counselors agree that I somehow managed to marry someone like my mother), and I had a dream that I was marrying her last night.
Has anyone been dealing with strange manifestations of stress lately?
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ptsd
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I wash my hands CONSTANTLY. I can't stand oil, dirt, etc. on them at all. This is a pretty big problem considering that when the weather begins to get colder and windier, the skin on my hands start to crack and bleed from being so dry.
I already apply lotion to my hands every night, and my hands have been getting better since. But how do I prevent the urge to wash my hands so often in the future?
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OCD
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So, I'm at work.. doing confirmation calls. The guest sends me to voice mail, so naturally, I leave a message. The whole time I'm leaving this voicemail it was going through my head and felt so vivid and real. Now I'm scared I did this even though I remember popping back into reality and hearing myself confirming the reservation. There was even someone in the lobby. This is terrifying??
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OCD
|
Hi Everyone,
I(M27) have been dating my gf(f26) for 6 months now. She has been diagnosed with ADHD probably 3-4 years back.
I am facing some difficulties in our relationship. I suffer from OCD and after she mentioned she would like me to share my vulnerabilities I do tell her about most of what’s going in my head.
She somehow feels I was more in love with my ex than her. She constantly compares and I give her validation whenever she feels like asking those questions.
Most recently( 3 days back) she asked for a time off all of a sudden and she is saying stuff like I am not saying things from the heart. I have been trying to have an open conversation by asking what she actually would have said in my place but she is not ready to give an answer and no matter what I say she’s feeling emotionally shit and me being in a long distance relationship isn’t helping either.
Can you please help me out? Is it one of the RSD phases?
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ADHD
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I've been meaning to get a diagnosis real soon so I can get some help because I'm not going to be able to do much with my schooling if it keeps up like this. I know I have ADHD, I've had it my entire life. I've just flown under the radar as a girl. Because of this every single time I try to bring it up with my friends and family or even teachers they always are suspicious of me. My friends treat me like I'm seeking for attention or an excuse for my 'laziness'.
"Are you *suuure* you know what you're talking about??" YES I KNOW, IT'S LITERALLY ME.
I know I'm not lying. I've noticed that nobody paid attention to my symptoms as a child and because I'm apparently super smart and full of knowledge that I don't have ADHD. But I know I have it. No one wants to listen.
What can I do apart from just keep pestering my parents for a diagnosis. I really need the help.
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ADHD
|
Y’all this month has felt like years and I have felt triggered often. I am dealing with medical trauma and now SA trauma because the statue of limitations is almost up on my case. I wish I could continue to dissociate and derealize to survive but I am back in treatment and have to process the trauma.
This situation is upsetting because I survived a childhood where I was SAed and had a parent who was violent. I had to leave society for years to heal from my early traumas. I finally felt free. I didn’t even have a year of freedom until I was SAed again (as an adult), physical/sexual harassment, and then medical issues.
It’s heartbreaking to see a glimpse of who you could be, how you could feel, and then have it painfully stolen from you again. I never thought I had future because of the childhood abuse, but for a moment I could visualize it.
I had to dissociate and derealize to survive and I did great things and achieved a lot but at what cost? I am set up for a good career but I don’t even know what I am doing here or why I even bothered in the first place.
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ptsd
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I don’t know if this is the right sub for this or if loneliness is common within the ADHD community, but does anyone else just get super lonely? I’m often either too much or not enough for people. I’m either too energetic and talking about my hyperfocus (which turns out no one wants to hear about), or I’m either annoying people by not being present enough. Either way I’m a nuisance.
I’m really socially awkward as well, which probably is from a lack of confidence. For those who have dealt with similar issues, how did you manage overcoming them? I’m genuinely tired. I’ve tried to either tone it down or force myself to be more present. But it always feels like no matter how hard I try I’m just destined to be lonely and socially frustrated.
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ADHD
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And how well do you handle it? Does your job do anything special to accommodate you/your aspergers? Do you work less hours to prevent overstimulation, or can you handle a normal workload?
-
Personally, I work in an office for a store. I register products in the inventory system, find prices etc. so they can scan them in the shop. Then I also do their website. My boss and coworkers know I'm a bit different and can't handle crowds well, so I have nothing to do with the customers on the other side of the wall. I only work 30 hours. But I am so darn stressed out lately.. My workload is practically two full time jobs crammed into those 30 hours. But I also feel way too lucky to be in a place that understands I have a couple special needs?
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aspergers
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I just saw a really cool piece of street graffiti posted on the TrashPandas sub and it made me realise that the initial reason why it caught my eye was because I loved it's colours. Even before I distinguished the image of the Raccoon, I was drawn by the colours surrounding it.
I understand now why I'm not a fan of watercolour paintings; the colours just aren't vibrant enough. I love paintings/pictures that are really bright and eye-catching?
Does anyone else experience something like this? Or what does draw you to a piece of art?
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aspergers
|
Hi friends.
I (29 f) was diagnosed with ADHD way back in the day. I haven’t been on meds since I moved down here to FL (2011) because my parents decided I didn’t need them anymore. (Long story, not safe space at the time)
I am already seeing a psychiatrist for my depression & anxiety.
As an adult, how do you find the process happens of getting on meds, getting the help, getting paperwork to verify you need accommodations (grad school)?
I used to have extended time along with a slew of other helpful things. Since I’m starting an Ed.S. this fall, and it’s gonna be full time (woof), I want to be ready, especially because I feel myself slipping and having a hard time lately.
I’m overwhelmed with where to even start with this. I’m calling my psychiatrists office tomorrow to book an appointment.
Can anyone just share their experiences in navigating all of it as an adult?
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ADHD
|
So I do not know if I am experiencing GAD, OCD, or health anxiety but I keep thinking thoughts like what if I get cancer in my family has to watch me die or what if somebody I know gets cancer and they have to go through it and I have to watch them get sick?
I Google symptoms of different cancers several times a day. I can't stop thinking about this. A few weeks ago I freaked out because I accidentally ate food and didn't realize it was moldy I ended up being perfectly fine but I freaked out about getting a fungal infection and now I'm freaked out about a bunch of health things I guess that kind of catapulted it.
This brings me a lot of anxiety and I keep thinking about getting sick and dying I've never been an anxious person but this I guess has been building up. How can I come? This is causing me a lot of stress!
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OCD
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I don't know where to start, I don't know if anyone will read this. I'm female and 18, I will turn 19 in 2 months. Life is fucking difficult at the moment. I'm close to my finals but I don't have any motivation. I don't attend school regularly, maybe once every week and for my exams. It kinda works out, I don't get the best grades, but it works.
I struggle to sleep daily, also eating gets kinda difficult. I started smoking and drinking more than usual.. I haven't cried for months. I don't feel anything besides grieve. My dad died last year and a good friend of mine took her life some months after. I always pushed it away and tried to just don't think about it, but it's not working anymore. I think about it daily. I miss my dad. I fucking miss him.
I'm in therapy and I take sertraline and sleeping pills, it just doesn't help. And I fucking hate myself for it but I don't tell my therapist how I'm really feeling, cuz I don't want to dissapoint her? I don't know what to do. I'm not at a suicide risk, even though I sometimes have dark thoughts, I know I wouldn't do it.
I don't know why I post this. I kinda need some help, I just don't know what. I have a kinda supportive friend group, but I'm scared to open up to them. I'm always the one who takes care of everyone, they even call me momma. I don't want them to know that i struggle, I don't want to disappoint them. My mom doesn't know how bad it is right now, but she obviously knows that I kinda struggle a bit. I just don't want her to worry, she has to deal with a lot on her own.
Can someone please tell me what to do? It's just to much for me right now..
|
depression
|
“ This felt to some degree like war. I instantly became part of a family that was working to protect each other and everyone else. This also was a group of people who was experiencing the same unsettling feeling that we too could become infected but we have a job to do. Two months ago I was given an opportunity to serve in my community. I became a first responder in the COVID19 pandemic. I would gladly do it again if needed but I pray to not see another pandemic like this. For now, I’m coming home, out of the sun, distancing from the virus, and back to a semi normal life. Because, what is the new normal? In a time of division in our country, I have found unity within my community and work.”—— I wrote that earlier. As someone who suffers from PTSD from childhood and adulthood and lack of self confidence, I feel immensely accomplished today. I learned to control triggers and anxiety. Something I was rarely able to do before. My psychologist was able to help me through this as well, I couldn’t have done it alone. Though, today I just want to be proud of me. This is a new level of healing and growing I’ve not known.
Congratulations to everyone who suffers from PTSD yet still succeeds!!
|
ptsd
|
Hung out with a friend tonight and felt more depressed than I did before. I felt more lonely than I did before. It's like this situation magnified all the negative emotions I've been feeling about friends, family, and people. I so desperately want to feel love and friendship but I don't know how.
Anyone else struggling with connection?
Just on a note, I am in trauma therapy so I am working through things. My PTSD stems from abusive childhood where I don't speak to my parents anymore.
|
ptsd
|
my 26th birthday is in a few days. this entire year there hasn’t been a day i haven’t thought about ending my life. just really sad and hopeless even though to an onlooker everything would like great. i said the other day some people have a shelf life and i think that’s me. i’ve tried so hard to be helpful and uplifting to other people, while also working on myself. been in therapy all year.
this year: i’ve met with attitude when i stand up for what i believe. ditched by people i trusted. betrayed and they took credit for my work and expertise and now get the accolades for it. i did a lot of work this year i can’t talk about and keep getting walls put up around me like i’m some type of animal. not allowed to ask questions and pretend it’s fine. people only talk to me when they want something. stuck with a shitty boss. i can see people don’t think i’m important unless i can help them seem more important. no one standing by my side. i’m alone. isolated. even though i try so hard. i just want people to want me around. i just feel like i’ve served my purpose and it would be easier for everyone if i was gone instead of telling anyone my feelings.
i’m so tired of being invisible and being stepped on, i’d rather just be gone. sorry this is such a sob story. i just put on a happy face and demeanor all the time. just can’t do it anymore. just want to be done. thought things were getting better but i was just absolutely fooled and blinded into being used even more. just so spent.
|
depression
|
when i was a teenager, i thought my depression was just a phase like how everyone said online. i could just snap out of it when i grow up.
now i am a young adult, my depression is still there. it doesn't go at all like how teenage me thought it would be. i finally understand why people use alcohol and drug to sedate themselves. the running thoughts of disappear and unalive are too much sometimes.
i was diagnosed with mental illness and i can never be cured. i can never have the healthy mind like a normal person. living with this twisted brain is torturing.
|
depression
|
I 21 (M) suffer from chronic ADHD and have been off medication since about 16. When it comes to romantic situations I find myself overthinking EVERYTHING, needing constant reassurance, losing myself (placing all of my self worth on the partner), inpaulsivity when it comes to important decisions, struggle with patience, and am scared of stupid things like not getting texts back because I did something or she is talking to someone else. Not to mention obsessive thinking ( always thinking about them and what they are doing) and tendencies (is. Checking snap score, snap location, etc). Finally I have struggled with emotional control, I often get too emotional and have emotional regulation issues.
I know a lot of my fears are irrational but a lot of my negative thoughts, even my past has lead me to believe these things. I am getting back on medication here soon and am in talk therapy once again, but I am so tired of pushing away any romantic partner with because I cannot seem to get my head right. All these problems lead me to struggle with anxiety and even some depression. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated
|
ADHD
|
Hi,
after years of struggle i finally decided to get diagnosed and seek medication if a psychiatrist confirms i have ADHD.
All was well, there were some tests and i've talked a lot about my problems starting early in my childhood and haunting me throughout my adult life (i'm 29M), but the doctor wanted to talk with my mother about how she perceived my behaviour as a child to help the assessment.
Now, she was very absent in my childhood and i was mostly raised by my grandparents. There are no hard feelings about this, she was a very young mom and had her own problems, we have a friendly relationship.
I asked her to talk to the doctor and she agreed to it to 'help in any way possible', and today, she proceeded to lie about basically everything from my childhood.
According to her i had no attention problems, i was always neat and tidy, always did my homework, had no problems with hyperactivity whatsoever, etc. Her answer was the polar opposite of my experience and how i remember myself growing up. The only correct thing she told the doc was that i really liked to read my fantasy books.
After their discussion i was visibly upset and talked with the doctor some more, since there was such a discrepancy between what i told her and my mother's answers she agreed to give the medication a try - which i will be starting on Wednesday -, but based on my mom's word she said the whole diagnosis got quite a bit more problematic.
I don't really know how to deal with this, even when i asked her to come to this discussion she was very dismissive of my issues, saying everyone is a bit lazy, we are all like that etc. I do not think she was intentionally trying to hurt me, maybe she was genuinely there to help, but this whole experience left me with some really negative feelings.
How should approach this? Should i talk to her about it knowing her opinions about mental health in general or just try to move on?
|
ADHD
|
Studies show that physically attractive individuals on average receive preferential treatment, whereas studies show that autistic individuals on average have a lower quality of life. If someone is both attractive and autistic, what would happen?
|
aspergers
|
My #1 COCD trigger is HPV, stemming from having dealt with plantar warts for years which I found very shameful and embarrassing.
I've have a recurrence of both the plantar wart and the COCD recently leading to completely avoidant behaviour, but today I decided to give myself a little pedicure (covering and avoiding the new wart, because that's just common sense), and used my hands to apply lotion and touch my feet.
It seems like a small thing but I was completely trembling with anxiety. I washed my hands (just the once) and although I feel like I want to wash a few more times and possibly change my clothes and wash my hair and not touch anything... I think I'm gonna be able to ride it out.
Gonna go prepare myself some food. Wish me luck. 😂
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone!
My name is Rishi. I am a high school sophomore and earlier this year I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I received treatment through Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (more specifically Exposure and Response Prevention).
However, during my treatment, I noticed several problems in the way that we treat OCD. The first was that OCD treatment is fairly expensive and often underinsured. My treatment was around $15,000, luckily I had insurance that covered it, but a lot of the people I met during my treatment did not have insurance that covered it. The second problem I noticed was that there was a steep drop-off in treatment after recovery (there was very little support to prevent relapse). The third problem was that most of the time, to be done properly, Exposure and Response Prevention requires specialists, which makes it difficult for non-specialist therapists to treat their patients with OCD. The last problem was that there wasn’t any open-source treatment (like a website or app to help patients).
I attempted to solve these problems with an app that I built. To solve the first one, I made it completely free and available to anyone with an iPhone. It also helps with relapse prevention because patients can repeat previous exposures. To solve the third, I included a therapist section where therapists could both track the exposure progress of the patient and assign homework to the patient.
If you are interested its features for patients include:
* A gamified version of the ERP journey (using game-like “levels” as each exposure),
* A built-in exposure screen with a table and timer for each exposure,
* A screen to write words, pictures, articles, sounds, and videos that cause anxiety,
* Several informational screens to teach about obsessive-compulsive disorder,
* A journal
* A screen where patients would receive homework from their therapist,
* A group forum feature where users can ask each other questions.
If you are at all interested, for more information about the app you can visit: [https://sites.google.com/view/anxiety-ally-app/home](https://sites.google.com/view/anxiety-ally-app/home). My app is called “Anxiety Ally” and can be accessed here: [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/anxiety-ally/id1576968560](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/anxiety-ally/id1576968560).
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
|
OCD
|
Without giving you my whole life story let me just say that life has not been kind to me. Not that I expect it to be. I know everyone goes through things. The only actual illness I've been diagnosed with is ptsd from a nasty car wreck I was a passanger in. I was terrified of driving before that happened but I now get to use that as an excuse. Just thinking about driving a car makes me sick to me stomach. I get paranoid going for walks because I've been beaten by the police in the past and I dont want to do anything to attract their attention. I'm worried that someone might call and report me to CPS if they see me walking on the sidewalk with my son in a stroller even if he's bundled up. I feel like people are so quick to report people for the stupidest things. I just feel like the world is such a scary place. Please help.
|
ptsd
|
It's not going well. Worst it has ever been. Considering going to mental hospital. Do they take your phone? Allow visitors? Thanks.
|
depression
|
PTSD is kind of a soldier thing. I've felt inadequacy about the diagnosis.
I was used for child sex trafficking when I was 5-7. It fucked me up a lot
Recently something set it off and I'm struggling
|
ptsd
|
Hello,
Me and my partner have came to a bit of a clash today, with her telling me that she's getting quite exhausted and tired of constantly seeing me affected by this, and it's taking a toll on her too.
I've not really been 100% up front and honest about things, so does anyone have any short articles, websites or more specifially designed to be sent to friends, family etc.
Thank you!
|
OCD
|
There’s a compulsion I’m unable to engage in at the moment. Until the opportunity arises for me to engage in it, I’m completely checked out of life. I don’t want to do anything. Nothing brings me enjoyment. I don’t feel like there’s anything I can do until I am able to meet the compulsion’s demand.
I’ve just been scrolling through my phone aimlessly today. I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to be alive. I’m bored of everything.
|
OCD
|
If someone gives me a topic I probably know something about it cause I have already googled it and have read about it. The topics are soooo random and usually come to my mind at night time before bed. When I start Googling it I go to a rabbit hole where I spend hours reading random things on the internet. I tried to put my phone away from bed so I cannot reach it last night but still got up and got it and Googled things cause I couldn’t stop thinking about the random thought/question I had.
Any suggestion/tip/advice?
Do you guys even experience the same thing?
Thanks
|
ADHD
|
I’m on week 3 of clomipramine and my first two weeks I had bad constipation which seems better but I have really dry mouth, I sweat all the time, and I’m very lightheaded. When I stand up too quickly I feel like I’m gonna faint. Do these side effects generally pass? It’s been impossible to keep hydrated. The pill seems to be helping my OCD but these side effects are borderline intolerable for me
|
OCD
|
M18. I was never tested or diagnosed in childhood. Asperger's syndrome was not commonly known in the place I live. Moreover, by the age of 17 I have consciedered all symptoms as something completely normal and usual.
I've heard about savant syndrome quite early and suspected to have something similar, but finally decided it to be hypertrophied.
The next episode was when I accidentally read about Asperger's syndrome when I was 17. First reaction on the topic was "shit! It's literally me!", but soon I became sceptic and convinced myself on giving fake diagnosis. Neural disorder romatisation was quite popular then, so I again decided I was exagerrating.
Final episode happened a few weeks ago. I was blamed in being creepy and fell upset: formally I did nothing wrong. I have decided to pass a test on Aspergers' forum and got "extremely high chances of ASD" according to 120-question long test and 37/40 points intellect and empathy test (aspies are ones who get 25/40 or more points there)
Symptomes I've noticed:
- Extra sensivity. I make no difference on cloth texture, but good feel of smells and tastes. I also couldn't sleep with clock ticking in my room
- Wierd interests. I remember it to be learning all names of dinosaurs and trains in childhood. As for now, fortunately, they are more practical: physics, history and geography (I can draw quite accurate world map with borders and capitals from my mind)
- Social troubles. I was strongly bullied in childhood. I don't get slang, sarcasm or idioms. I almoust never feel funny from humour, but pretend to smile or laugh. Humor, however, is my salvation. I've learned how to make jokes (especially roasting) so when people laugh around me, I feel some control over situation.
- Being wierdo in general. My way of thinking is noticeably different from average person's. Sometimes it is beneficial, when I make jokes and do lawyer-like stuff. But more likely I suffer from it. I rarely tell about my problems because I don't find it obvious. I don't get many simple things such as popular program UI. I feel inconfident when I need to work with documents. I find public activities boring. I don't get many informal rules.
I am still not sure whether I have it
|
aspergers
|
So far, I'm still alive. But I was so afraid of germs earlier ago, that I sprayed my bed with disinfectant spray. And now, I feel like, even though my bed is already dried up, I'm inhaling something from the spray on my bed that could poison me.
Anybody willing to help me with this problem? Thanks!
EDIT: Also, another thing I forgot to bring up: I fear accidentally damaging my bed and anything on it with disinfectant spray. Anyone willing to help me with that, as well? Again, thanks!
|
OCD
|
I've had severe depression for about 7 years which is a third of my life. Even on days when I'm happy, I still wish I wasn't born. My life is a sick cosmic joke. I think about killing myself everyday but I don't have what it takes. I wish I never existed in the first place.
|
depression
|
When you went through ur ptsd did you ignore people and distance yourself off from talking to people? HOW DO YOU NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
|
ptsd
|
i have been dealing with chronic numbness for a long time now. i just dont feel anything i will cry, smile, laugh,... but i will never feel anything unless its a very terrible mood swing or mania. i feel so sick and empty most days and i just dont know what to do. also the lack of feeling like i belong to something or i am impacting someone positively hurts. just feel like rotting away
|
depression
|
I have severe OCD. I constantly replay past memories and conversations in my head, which often result in significant distress. These are my obsessions. The only compulsion I perform is repeating several statements in my head multiple times a minute. Sometimes the “path” from obsession to saying is so engrained that I don’t even have to say the saying; I just “feel” the place I would have said it in my brain, as best I can describe it.
So, here’s my problem: how to I apply ERP in this scenario? Nothing in the physical world triggers my obsessive intrusive thoughts/memories; they just bombard my consciousness all day from even before I wake up in the morning until I fall asleep (with the help of trazodone). All my “compulsions” are purely mental as well. So, I’m already “exposed” all the time. My shrink has suggested mutating the phrases I say every time until they are unrecognizable from the original ones. This has proved hard to sustain in practice. And I’ve tried and been able to suppress saying the phrases, but nothing changes the severity and frequency of the intrusive thoughts/memories. So I’m just sitting there “exposing”. I’ve done this a lot and it hasn’t had any effect at all.
Any suggestions? It’s tough because there is nothing physical that I do, nor am I “triggered” by anything.
Side note: I also have a litany of OCD trains of thought: doubt, guilt, fear of being hurt or that I’ve become aggressive, constant self-criticism, self-sabotage, and a general negativity bias.
I’ve tried a gazillion meds as well. My psychiatrist told me that she can’t think of any medication to prescribe which I haven’t tried.
I’m very frustrated. I was perfectly fine through highschool and my OCD emerged towards the end of my undergrad. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
|
OCD
|
Hi all. My psychiatrist prescribed me with dexamphetamine sulfate after experiencing no effects from concerta. Today is my first day of taking them. I was told to begin with 10mg in the morning with food. I took 10mg approximately an hour ago and feel kinda lethargic and unfocused. Is this normal? I know there are a lot of posts like this, but I couldn't find any specifically talking about taking dex with food and experiencing no effects after an hour? I am meant to take another 5mg later in the day, but should I just take it now if I can't feel anything or wait it out? Sorry to bother y'all, I have pretty bad anxiety rn and I hope this post is allowed.
|
ADHD
|
… and simply wanted to share a quote that made me cry to be honest.
It was an answer of one of women to the question: Would you have liked to have been diagnosed earlier?
“It would’ve changed my entire life, in short. It wouldn’t have allowed my chronic depression, which coincided with my not knowing what was ‘wrong’ with me during that crucial time of my life, to overwhelm me or leave me awash with the cycle of perpetual procrastination that it did. It condemned me to an abyss of endless inaction.”
P.s. ASD diagnosis was rejected by professional and I don’t claim to be autistic.
|
aspergers
|
I’m currently drunk and very high, and I was on the suicide Reddit thing. I found this one. Seems like a good place to vent. Holy shit.
You know what started all of this? I just attempted to put a fake Chrismas tree up. And I cut my hand by accident. I couldn’t stop think about how my arms would look like slit open. I am trying so fucking hard right now. So fucking hard to not relapse. I haven’t hurt myself in 219 days. That’s a long time.
Also I didn’t read the rules is this allowed? Fuck I don’t care. Someone I need advice. How do I stop thinking like this. It feels like a fucking craving and I hate it.
I think I will force myself to go to sleep because I can’t hurt myself.
Why do I crave this? Like hurting myself in anyway. I need to sleep.
|
depression
|
Long story short, my significant other said he hated me today and I’m so emotionally trashed by it that all I want to do is wash my hands and cry
Extra context, we were LDR and I’m currently in his home country and have to travel 8-9 hours to get home
Any tips on how I can distract myself during my return home because I know this’ll loop for me and the amount of anxiety I will feel will be tremendous
Thank you for any help
|
OCD
|
My sister has told me that the feeling of being needed helps lower her depression. She really enjoys nature and I see her watching beta fish, shrimp, algae, etc. care videos a lot. I know if I get her the fish she’ll take really good care of it but she sometimes has a hard time doing things. If I were to get her a fish I would also help her take care of it. Would this be a good idea?
|
depression
|
I’ve never had a real relationship. I always get stuck in the initial talking stage where we meet up for a few dates and it fizzles out.. mostly due to me either becoming overly obsessed or totally secluding myself when I get overwhelmed with all the thoughts I have regarding a new relationship/connection.
I also can’t get over the nonstop sexual thoughts I have about the person, which I get is a totally natural thing.. but I used to be super religious so I have learned behaviors of forcing all those thoughts and feelings into a locked box in my mind. So whenever I get sexual thoughts, I feel guilty/anxious thus more obsessing over those thoughts because I’m anxious. Vicious cycle.
I also want to be respectful and establish an emotional connection first before getting physical, but I can never seem to progress to that point with someone. I’ve got so many walls built up.
So I guess my question is, how do you deal with not becoming overly obsessed while also maintaining a connection without secluding yourself? And how do I progress with a person physically when I have so many walls up due to my past religious obsessions/guilts
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone, I (20F) have been trialing medication for ADHD for around 2 years now, but with large gaps inbetween. I only discovered a couple years ago that I have ADHD, and it’s been a bit of a wild ride ever since trying to get medication sorted.
I was given 18mg of Concerta to begin with, however I had to stop taking it as I have always experienced heart palpitations; I’ve gotten it checked out however the doctors cant seem to find anything wrong, but I still experience it a lot and It can be scary and painful.
So after I stopped taking the medication as I noticed My heartbeat felt more prominent at night, I’ve now been given two boxes of 10mg, and a box of 40mg of Atomoxetine (Strattera). They said there was another option if this didnt work, that often gives people constipation (they never mentioned the name unfortunately).
While waiting on that prescription coming in, I noticed my heart was having palpitations/beating faster more often, so now that I have the medication, I am a bit scared to take it.
I also seen a very common side effect is nausea/vomiting, and I am an emetophobe so this is also putting me off.
Can anyone who takes Strattera give me an insight into the side effects of it, and if anyone experiences any heart problems I’d appreciate your insight too. Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
I’ve seen comments about with younger ocd suffers(younger teenagers) saying the same thing. I used to think the same a long time ago. They always think they know best lol. People experience it differently. I wish society explained Ocd more accurately to its true nature.
|
OCD
|
**Long version:**
I got recently diagnosed and I´m in the process of meds. None of the stimulants seem to work for me, no helpful parts and side effects. Side effects tend to vary, most are just constant headache and no appetite that even after taking for weeks just wasn´t changing. The final try with stimulants side effects are alot worse, thought its my first day. If they stay this bad tomorrow its a no go for sure. Dosage has also been messed with a few times and it still doesn´t help and just makes side effects almost unmanagable.
The next try is gonna be non-stimulants, which I don´t really understand the difference and haven´t gotten/found a clear explanation of it other then it takes awhile to take effect.
This whole process is getting a bit to much for me, I feel like a test experiment just getting more side effects then adult take control, nothing changes and then its either ¨give it more time¨ or ¨a new one¨ and I´m getting kind of sick of it. And everytime I try to describe part of it, it feels like my mum or the meds person takes a small bit of it and ignores the rest. Trying to explain ¨It might have helped but it was also a day we did something I enjoy so its hard to tell since its easy to focus on that anyway¨ gets turned into ¨it helped¨, etc.
What can I do anymore? Social anxiety isn´t helping me speak up, and when I do then it doesn´t even help. And all this meds stuff is just getting overwhelming and to much. I can´t even figure out what their telling me I should do is.
**TL;DR**
Does anyone have a simple explanation of the difference between stimulant meds and non-stimulant meds? And what to do if your loosing control over all the sudden meds stuff?
|
ADHD
|
I’m beginning EMDR and doing the resourcing where we imagine a safe place. For me, it was a swinging on a swing set. We’ve also done imagination exercises about taking your own advice seriously and releasing stress with a color imagination exercise.
I have a question. I’m used to going from 0 to 100 but not the other way around. It’s like everything all of a sudden just stops and its relaxing. It feels really nice, don’t get me wrong. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that because it literally just shut off way faster than I’m used to. It takes me a long time to calm down and I usually have to do that at the end of the day rather than on the spot. My therapist said to put it in a “containment jar” of some sort. I’m just confused because it doesn’t feel natural to me yet. Anyone have ideas?
|
ptsd
|
I was getting sort of almost useful help from a counsellor that came to my school but they weren’t a specialist and I think the coping mechanisms and help they were giving me weren’t really helping to well and my sessions were a bit re-traumatising as my ptsd got massively worse when getting the ‘help’. It is now the summer holidays so I’m getting no help but I’m visiting family that I cut off from at a younger age due to my mental issues and I explained to one of them (my aunt) what I was dealing with as best as I could with the deal that they told nobody else on the entire planet. But I don’t feel like I can talk to my mum about it much more than the couple of times I briefly have even though I’m extremely close to her and I cant tell my gran and papa even though they would support me as much as they can. I feel like nobody in my family understands it because I’m so good at hiding almost every aspect of my ptsd apart from the anger issues for the 5 years if been suffering. I can’t go to a doctor because I’m not old enough to go my self and I simply don’t have the mental ability to tell my mum that I need more help. The first time was mentally horrible enough not due to how my mum responded but because of how physically impossible it it to tell anybody on the planet. I can’t even bring myself to say the word ptsd out loud. The only way I was able to tell my aunt is because the word ptsd was brought up in a natural conversation so I took it from there in a kind of now or never moment, it may of been the best decision in the moment but the entire time I had pins and needles all over my body and felt like I was going to pass out from the minute the word ptsd was mentioned. I regret every second of it but I am unbelievably glad I said something if that makes even an ounce of sense. I am genuinely surprised that I was able to anybody on the planet. Because I’m so good at hiding my ptsd sometimes I convince myself that it doesn’t exist to the extent that I genuinely believe that I’m an idiot making stuff up and I think that makes it much harder to speak about. I don’t know if I’m asking for help or venting (idk I’ll just flare it discussion or something) it is incredibly rambly and I’m probably not going to post this for a while until I contemplate the idea of posting it.
|
ptsd
|
I had an injury 6 months ago now everyday all day I worry about what if I’m always worried about brain and heart issues or anything health related constantly thinking I need to head to the er on every feeling I get
|
OCD
|
how does ocd and adhd comorbidity workkkkk they seem so contradictory but here i am having such a hard time with both but not knowing to what extent it is one or the other. why can't all of my symptoms just go into nice little labeled boxes so that I know why everything is the way that it is and what I need to do to stop having all of these horrible thoughts and feelings
|
OCD
|
It could just be because I’m alone again and I’m trapped with the thoughts inside my head but I’m starting to feel super alone again. I’m 18 for Christ sakes and have never had any loving relationship with anyone. I feel so depressed. I don’t know how to look for someone other than tinder and bumble WHICH BOTH THOSE APPS MAKE ME FEEL VERY UNWANTED.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m leaving for the army soon I hope so I can have a reason to get away from my old life. I also want a reason to die if the worst not so worst case scenario happens. I’m not suicidal but I won’t turn out a free ticket out at this point. I told myself 7 months ago (May 2021) that if I am in the same place In a year I’m ending it for good. I’m coming real close to that deadline.
I just want to feel loved. I want to have a connection that I see other people having all over the internet. I want a chance to feel like I matter which for some damn reason it’s impossible for me. Yea I can count my friends and family but why should I? I want to feel loved in that way by someone. I want to be that favorite person to someone. But I’ll just have to accept the fact that I’m just a 18 year old fat loser who will never find that stuff.
Maybe in the next life.
|
depression
|
I work in a residential unit for individuals with ASD who have complex needs and prior to this I worked in a residential school.
In my two jobs I have only encountered one other staff member with ASD and I wondered if this was common?
If you do have ASD and work in a similar role, how does it influence your work practice and what do you think of your colleagues practice? Do you think it helps you notice things other may miss? Are there things your colleagues do that make you wince? Etc
UPDATE: when I say work with I meant people with ASD who have a job where they directly support people with ASD for example a support worker etc
|
aspergers
|
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