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Does anyone with real event OCD talk to people and get anxious or upset and think “if they knew they wouldn’t be talking to you”? Or feel uncomfortable in public and think no one would like you?
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OCD
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I'm not sure where else to ask I've called a bunch of hotlines and its hard for anyone to get what this does to someone but in short, since covid my contamination OCD has gotten so bad to the point where my guardian has to clean my room each night and fill a bunch of compulsions because I can't do anything on my own anymore. It's a really long story so I'm probably not explaining it well but I'm in a spot now where getting more care has become a part of my OCD and I know how to fix it but it feels like my guardian is not open to that now and has decided to leave until I decide to get more care and take some compulsions off the table I cannot function with her doing this and I would really like some advise on what to do or what I could suggest to her because I can't sleep till these compulsions are meant and I'm kind of in a horrible spot right not.
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OCD
|
created a throwaway bc i cant release this to the world knowing it’s me. i have a friend 18m who wants to commit, and i don’t know what to do. i’ve known him my whole life, and his outlook is there is nothing better then what there is now. and if there is, what’s the point in going through all this shit to get there. it’s hard for me to help bc i feel the same way, just not to the death extent. we feel like no matter what, it’s just a cycle, work, have a tiny bit of fleeting happiness, and work. always exhausted. always tired. always drained. always. please help
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depression
|
Not sure if anyone can relate but if you miss your ideal bedtime do you just say screw it and stay up all night? I find that if I don’t get to bed by 12-1am I feel like I have to stay awake now. Problem is I’m a single mom to 2 kids…
it’s 1am here and I’m trying to decide between staying up all night to power clean (house is wrecked and I’m so much more productive during quiet hours) or sleep.
Does anyone else deal with this? I pull a lot of all nighters and I’m sure it’s not the healthiest thing to do :/
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ADHD
|
I've come to the end of my self-worth, or what little I had left to delude myself with.
I've been denied my second time for disability. I know I can appeal in court, and I do have a lawyer. How the hell am I supposed to convince a judge that I'm disabled when I've failed twice already?! Plus, I'm convinced that any person handing out disability feels that PTSD isn't good enough anyway. That's all I've ever known is not being good enough. And now it's truly slapped me in the face.
If it were only my life I was ruining I would be ok, but my husband has put so much care and love into our marriage and I'm going to ruin it all!!! All I can be is a burden now.
I have tried and tried to work, and it has boiled down to me literally running away as fast as I could from a place because I felt like I was in so much danger. The drive home I was in so much pain and agony I was shaking.
And now I can't get disability to help provide for me and my husband? What use do I have left?
I'm posting this because I know I should go to check myself in to a psych ward but I can't. The last time I was there for hours and I was trapped. I want to self harm so badly, but I don't want to be trapped in that place again.
I am so sorry to share this with you guys, but I have no where else to go right now...
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ptsd
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They'll have text saying something like "things that give off neurotypical energy" and then have pictures of stuff. I don't get it - neurotypical people are all different and why are we making fun of them? It makes it seem like some neurodivergent people want to portray NTs badly and I don't like it.
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aspergers
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When I’m out in public at a restaurant does anyone else get annoyed when someone has there headphones in their ears and they are talking to someone.
And they are telling everyone in the restaurant what they are talking about ?
I understand how you can talk over the phone to some in public for no just a few minutes but we’ll over hours.
It’s annoying and makes me extremely irritated.
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aspergers
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I feel like my intrusive thoughts have made me too tainted to ever be worthy of love or intimacy or a real relationship. And I can't go back because I can't get out of my head what's been forced into it by this stupid fucking disease.
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OCD
|
This may be a common question, but what is a good way to cope with minor scratches, dents, marks and so on on objects you own? This is one of the worse effects OCD had on me and I just can't feel happy knowing something like my phone or laptop has a scratch on it or something along those lines. Any suggestions to put this issue into perspective?
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OCD
|
Throughout my life, I've been invalidated so much, especially when it comes to mental health; like by friends and even by mental health professionals. I've had so many people tell me I'm fine and that I don't need help and that I'm not sick. That stopped me from getting help for many years.
Now, I am getting help and treatment and doing much better, but I think I'm still insecure about the validity of my mental health. When others talk about their mental health and struggles, I think that sometimes it reminds me of people I knew in the past who would use their experiences to diminish mine, so I feel kind of insecure and I feel like I am going to need to justify myself.
I wholeheartedly believe that everybody's struggles are equally valid, that mental illness is not a competition, and that everybody is equally deserving of help and happiness.
But I think I have some hurt and insecurity bottled up from how people treated me and invalidated me in the past, so now I sometimes get stressed out when others talk about their mental health because I associate that situation with being diminished in the past and needing to defend/justify that my struggles are valid too.
This feels awful and selfish. I want to be able to talk about mental health more openly without feeling like I'm going to be attacked and competed against. I don't want to feel like I have to compete against others (because I know that I don't), but it's so hard not to want external validation I guess.
Do any of you ever feel like this at all?
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OCD
|
I immigrated to the United Kingdom at the beginning of this year, 2021, and even though I'm part of the NHS now and everything, I'm have hanging extremely hard time having them accept my diagnosis and actually help me at all, even though at the very least all I want is medicine so that I can try and function normally again.
I've been diagnosed when I was a very young child, and I was diagnosed because I had pretty much every symptom of ADHD possible, and magnified tenfold. They refused to acknowledge this for reasons they won't tell me, and they will only diagnose me over the phone, which is hard for me because I have a ADHD induced hearing problem as well (auditory processing disorder).
I was able to eventually do the diagnosis meeting, but they gave me a really roundabout answer and didn't really tell me straight up or not if they would diagnose me, but they said that they would send me a letter that would detail my first appointment with them that I would have to sign and fill out, the problem is that was over a month ago and I haven't heard anything. I've called them multiple times and all they say is that I just have to wait.
normally I guess this wouldn't be much more problem, I mean I can't work or anything right now because of Visa stuff being awkward, but I'm completely at a standstill in my personal life because of this. I can't work on any hobbies, get up in the morning, go to sleep at night (unless I drink a lot of alcohol), etc. It's all just very frustrating and upsetting, And I know it's getting hard for my partner to see me like this as well.
I've even told the people at the clinic that the only way I personally have / know to manage my ADHD when it gets like this is alcohol, and they said that's worrying and a problem but they won't actually help me still.
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ADHD
|
I’ve been on Prozac for about 8 months now. My dosage is 60 and I feel like it only really helps me not completely go overboard. But my intrusive thoughts and fears felt pretty much the same. I will be just laying on my bed and all I can do is focus on my thoughts. It’s hard to focus on something I enjoy fully. Is there anything other medication you guys recommend that helped more with your intrusive thoughts?
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OCD
|
I didn't do so well in highschool overall, but rocked tests. In college I did really well on everything, but I spent my weekends on work when everyone else was out having fun. I think I just hyper focused on school. I do the same with my job.
I can't stay organized though. Medicine has helped with that quite a bit, but still nothing like the average coworker. My peers take notes during meetings and follow up on them, and reference them in future meetings. If I take notes, I lose the meeting all together. When I try to review a quick note the next day or even an hour later, I have no idea why I wrote what I wrote and have nothing actionable.
I can build things. I write code and I seem to be much better than my peers in quality of code. I always kick butt on the thing I am focusing on, I just can't control what that is.
I periodically doubt my diagnosis, because I seem to be productive with just coffee. But nothing I do without proper medicine is ever planned, I just go through the motions.
Is this common?
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ADHD
|
So i have these thoughts abt im not a good person. A lot of people told me that im a good person and everyone likes me bc im kind and stuff. But i feel like im not good enough. And also i have this arrogance side that i dont show to anyone. That is like im better than you and you. And one side of me is looking down on people and the other is telling to him to dont do this bc it not good. And im start to get anxious abt this. And even if i say something good abt me i feel like im being egoist. And the people are not gonna like me bc i said that. And also im trying to be a perfect person who not has any mistakes and everyone likes him,but i know this is not possible. And i feel like im playing some guy or tryna play some guy who is kind and have good personality items only. But thats not really me imo. And i get anxious abt that i act a person that everyone want me to be and bc of this me i feel like im losing myself and i dont know who is the "real" me
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OCD
|
//srry if bad english
i have never heard about hallucinations being a symptom of aspergers before. i have had hallucinations since 2019 and they became very frequent lately, i really don't think its the aspergers because theres other factors and symptoms that i think are tied to the hallucinations that i just dont think are autism related by any means but i didn't have time to tell her about those. all she heard was "i see and smell things that are not there and i am concerned about it" and she immediately went on this tangent on how autistic people have different responses to senses and how i shouldn't worry about it. i have never seen any of the things im experiencing being related to aspergers but my diagnosis is a tad recent so maybe im just not informed enough, im just very skeptical since ive been having so much trouble pinpointing what exactly is going on with me and being told that its "just the asperger" after telling her just one symptom seems a bit weird. she's specialized on asperger but im not going there because of that and i made that clear to her, i switched to one that is specialized because i was having trouble communicating with the old one and thought that maybe someone who understood it better would help but im not getting the best vibes here, thoughts?
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aspergers
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So I guess a lot of the time when searching/reading info about ADHD its almost always hyperactive traits which are thought about when the article/info is being written so its hard to sometimes relate as someone who isn't hyperactive.
i see that a lot of people who have ADHD love puzzles such as rubik cubes or games like WoW/League of legends and they really hyperfocus on it probably because their brain can really be stimulated thinking of the ways to work this out.. in contrast, I see a rubik's cube, i think its cool for 10 minutes until i think screw this, i cant do it and im bored of it anyways
However, while I do love gaming and have played WoW/LoL a lot, I find that anything in a game that makes me read a lot of info and work out percentages and adds 0.5 Atk or spell defense or whatever like that, I just get frustrated and don't understand, don't want to understand, don't want to do MATHS when i'm playing a game. I hated trying to understand runes/masteries in LoL and just googled which one is best, and items aswell, i just dont have the brain power to learn/understand what to go with and why, same with WoW, I have played for over 10 years and I just follow a guide for my character and spell rotation, i dont really want to get into the details or make my head hurt trying to understand percentile differences and testing out talent specializations, comparing damage etc. I remember always really struggling to get anywhere in competitive arena PVP in WoW, like I love the aspect of it, i love playing it, but how can people watch recordings back and analyse positioning, interrupting certain spells, taking all of the stuff in that is going on and reacting to it all, i used to have a lot of people mad at me :') like im just not good juggling a lot of information and my brain just nopes out.
Don't get my wrong, I love raiding and PvP in WoW, but i dont like reading and understanding all of the information. Raid Tactics? Fine. its visual, interactive, fun, and I can follow them well, but I just can't grasp all of the theory crafting and simming your character etc. My brain really hates mental effort.
I also loved the idea of SCII when i first got it, but man F\*CK that game. there is WAY too much to think about at the same time and i can barely keep up even on easy, ive never beaten anyone in an online game :')
Anyways, I wonder if this kind of feeling is more relatable by those like myself with ADHD-PI. I get really frustrated and stressed trying to work complex things out, or trying to understand information that isn't very straightforward and simple. For example, If I have a university assignment, all of the planning out and thinking what to put in which section, all of the research and references to get and organize and understand and then add to your coursework, even thinking about it makes me frustrated and i just think "F THAT". Same with planning multi-step trips, looking at times, booking trains/buses making sure you arrive at X time to be at X place, makes me feel like headbanging the wall.
i wonder what your experiences/feelings are in similar situations
​
edit: wanted to add that I love the idea and graphics etc to dark souls for example, but i can not play through that alone, I just do not like the difficulty, i play most games ever on easy and i dont really care for making it harder.
​
edit2: woahh writing this post has made me reflect on how much of a lazy PoS i am. I actually despise putting effort into things mostly... perhaps in sporadic bursts every now and again but i seldom follow through
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ADHD
|
I have depressive episodes where my i randomly feel really sad and i get this sudden urge cut myself. I recently realized im bi but i havent told anyone. I see so many posts asking for help but i feel guilty for not being able to answer them. I try to apologize there but i get carried away and end up venting. I hate myself and im sorry to everyone i ignored.
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depression
|
I’m a graphic designer with absolutely horrendous attention to detail. I am likely going to lose my job over this very thing, and am on thin ice with my employer at my literal dream job. I feel crushed.
I - for the life of me - cannot finish reading tasks. But, it’s not like I don’t think that I did. I will read over a project, write it down, go back and double check, then submit, just to find that I missed something major. I feel like I am trying my absolute best, I feel like I have to work so hard to try to keep on top of the million little tiny details and mundane changes and my brain will literally shut off. If I have to switch through too many tabs or folders to find information, I will feel a build up of emotion like I am about to burst into tears or a panic attack.
I got off a call with my boss yesterday about how my little mistakes and misses are costing the company money and that my job is on the line. I had a panic attack, called myself down, and got back to work. I spent 3x the normal time to do a task because I double and triple checked it, just for my AD to immediately find a huge thing I missed, just because I saw half of the comment and mentally and physically checked it off as done (repeatedly)
I’ll be super interested in a topic but cannot get through an article about it. Even if it’s something I really want to learn, I get halfway into it and just can’t anymore.
(I am undiagnosed)
Does anyone else have similar problems with reading and following instructions in the workplace, or have any tips for how to salvage my job?
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ADHD
|
It’s got all these great features. It sounds great, in theory. But when it’s time to actually get things done, grab shit, go on uneven pavement and a dirt road or two, and get from point A to point B, you’d be better off just walking, or taking a shitty little truck than what I have to offer.
I have all of this accumulated knowledge but I don’t put it to good use. There’s a disconnect— a veritable chasm— between what I know and what I execute.. I feel like everything I know is basically as useful as random noise imparted to a rat that would just push levers and die in a maze looking for it’s next dopamine hit
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ADHD
|
does anyone else’s OCD badly impact their career? i’ve been in my job field for almost 5 years now and as time has gone on it gotten a bit better but days like to day i have really bad imposter syndrome and obsessive negative thoughts like “i don’t deserve this job, i’m not good at this job i don’t deserve to be here” etc. it impacted me greatly at my last job, i actually quit that job 3 times bc of these feelings (and went back 2 times) but now i’m at a completely new place and it’s my 3rd week, and i’ve been good up until now. this has gotten so bad that is actually pushed me to go back to school in hopes of finding a new career, so i’m currently in college as well. but once my fall semester starts i’ll only be working weekends which hopefully gets made easier? idk any advice on how to deal with this? i really don’t want to have leave this job because i already make myself feel guilty enough as it is for leaving my other job and also i need money for rent and whatnot any advice helps or if you want to share a similar experience just so i know i’m not alone
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OCD
|
No one cares.
Even if I want to talk to someone, I have literally nothing to say, I haven’t done anything for the last 2 years. What’s there to even talk about?
So isolated. Doctors don’t even care lol.
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depression
|
Hello,
Are there any other members who work in management/administration/leadership? I am a 37 year old woman, newly diagnosed as Autistic. I work in healthcare administration. I manage a group of about 12 managers and have about 60 employees overall in my building. I am running into some communication issues at work that I believe are directly related to being Autistic (I have not disclosed at work).
I have been looking for a while now and cannot find any active groups for Autistic professionals. Does anyone know of any? Or, if a group was created to fill this need, would there be anybody interested in joining?
Thank you all!
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aspergers
|
TL;DR - I hate writing notes and I take way too long to write them.
I'm in my first year studying Chemistry at university. I'm finding that while I get on relatively well with practice questions, worksheets etc. I really suck at making notes. Mostly I try to work around this and stick to what I'm good at, but there's some areas where it's unavoidable. Since there's not really a single set of textbooks that covers the material in exactly the depth we need to know it, and lecture slides either aren't detailed enough or don't make much sense without the recording, I need to compile my own reference documents to look back to when I need to remind myself of the information I need to solve questions in certain topics. But doing that takes waaaaaay longer than it should. For example, my notes on organic nomenclature, a very basic introductory topic that I've already covered a lot of in school, took me 7 hours to write.
I think the main problems I run into are these:
* **Perfectionism.** A lot of my other problems stem from this. I just want the notes to be clear, concise, structured well, and contain all the information I need and I spend way too much time thinking about how I'm gonna do that instead of just giving it a go. I tend to have this 'all or nothing' mentality where I get stuck thinking that if I don't do something perfectly, I may as well not do it at all.
* **Deciding what to include.** I don't want to copy down stuff that I already know and will know when I come back to revise. So I sit there trying to decide what I will and won't forget in the future. I also really don't want to be inconsistent with the type of information I include - I don't want to write down a fact I'll probably remember under one topic and then omit another that feels equally familiar to me in another.
* **Structuring.** I want to keep all headings self-contained with all the relevant information I need under that heading. But of course, topics overlap, and I end up having to decide where a set of information that could fit under 2 different topics will go. And repeating the same information under 2 different headings would definitely go against the rules I've set for myself. This means that I can't working linearly from one topic to the next because I will inevitably find something that I think belongs in a previous topic, but the page I've written about that previous topics is often full. For example, in chemistry there's often a rule stated at the beginning of the topic and as you read on you find about different exemptions to this rule. I'd want the rule and all its exemptions to be on the same page so I can refer back to it easily, but that means I'd have to read through the whole content and decide what should go in that first page stating the rule.
* **General ADHD shenanigans.** Of course, I very frequently get distracted and catch myself daydreaming for extended periods of time. I'll write down a heading and then sit there with the pen in my hand for 10 minutes before I write a single bullet point. It's worse with work that I find more difficult to get engaged in, which is probably why it's particularly bad when trying to take notes. With questions, I don't feel there's a right or wrong way to do it - I just have to find the answer. Not so with notes.
I know typing up notes with help me a lot with the structuring issue, but I find it very annoying to use most software that enables you to do things like enter equations and draw chemical structures. Having to enter into a different mode where you have to interact with the document differently than just pressing buttons with letters on them always slows me down and breaks my concentration. Ideally I would use some kind of touch screen with a stylus (standalone device like tablets or complementary hardware like drawing tablets), but I don't have that currently. I'm looking into it, but unfortunately money's pretty tight as a student. If you have any recommendations I'd appreciate that too.
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ADHD
|
My ADHD is undiagnosed and I’m very uneducated on how and why I feel things. My girlfriend cheated on me and it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. But she doesn’t want to lose me and realises what she has done wrong. I can feel myself slowly starting to want her back but I have no idea what to do or think. I don’t know how or if I can heal because I don’t know my own brain. I really need advice.
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ADHD
|
They said they would start titration next August.
Ever since I've started going down the rabbit hole of my own mental wellbeing, learning and being assessed for ADHD, I've felt like I've understood myself better. Lurking around this community has been so validating and helpful.
The medical system, unfortunately, makes it a little bittersweet.
I know what's different about me, I know that medication would be the best option for me, but I won't get what I need for another year. I'm a student hoping to go to university -- by the time I'm medicated, I'll probably be retaking my qualifications.
I know I'm fortunate to know in my teenage years rather than in my forties or fifties, but I can't help but think if I'd have just been more curious 6 months earlier, if I'd have been medicated at the moment, would things have gone better for me?
I don't know, I'm writing this little rant at 00:20 where I am - it truly is a miracle if anyone finds anything that can be remotely considered 'meaning' in my little 'teenage angst-y' tirade above.
I'm just upset with myself and angry about how the one thing that everyone says helps them the most is out of my reach. At least for the next year. Which just so happens to be the year, where I would benefit most from it.
I don't know how I'm going to manage this.
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ADHD
|
My friend and I were texting and I mentioned something wrong. She asked me what. And I mentioned a mental thing I’d been dealing with. She hasn’t responded. She’d been having a great day, had a good day at work, a piano recital. And then I had to go puke my stupid problem all over her nice day. She’s so kind and empathetic. I know I hurt her. Why am I like this. Tomorrow I take a final for my biology class and I haven’t studied a hill of beans. I don’t remember anything. I’ve been far too busy with my stupid stupid habit, something too embarrassing to mention aloud. I have started punching and slapping myself and whipping my back with a belt, but I’m too scared to cut. I don’t think it’s even real self-harm, or at least not compulsive self-harm. It’s more like a bar fight. I’m with this IDIOT and I want to destroy him. Too bad it’s me. Some friends and I were playing a game with me earlier and the card said “describe yourself with three words.” I sat for a while and one said “keep it positive.” I couldn’t think of three honest, positive adjectives to apply to myself. I don’t even know if I’m really depressed; maybe I’m just correctly appraising who I am as a person and the results aren’t pleasant. But idk where else to write this.
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depression
|
It feels like it’s outside of normal everyday person shyness, like I physically can’t do anything that would risk me looking stupid in front of people (dancing, singing, public speaking, meeting new people, etc.) just almost survival level type of avoidance of doing anything out of my comfort zone. I’m kind of tired of living like this, it doesn’t feel natural. Anyone else?
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ptsd
|
all my life I felt so strange, all my compulsions, extreme hygiene, extreme organization, strange thoughts, animal meat disgust etc
and it's such a good sensation finally have people i can identify with, it's crazy people think you're weird all your life and underestimate your OCD problems, here I can see that there are people like me is that we are really a community
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OCD
|
I'm super afraid of being a pedo, zoophile, necrophiliac etc. Every inappropriate sexual orientation there is. I've never been raped, but when I was in third to sixth grade, the boys in my class talked about sex non stop and showed me porn. They also touched me and flashed me, multiple times. I as a child couldn't really consent, of course not, but I was into it back then. After that I started to masturbate and watch porn excessively. I've also been touched by old gross guys in as a kid. Could exposure to porn and sexual stuff as a young child have messed me up, like this?
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OCD
|
My mental bandwidth depends on it🙏
At 24 I bought earplugs, noise canceling headphones, sunglasses,
when I’m at home or at work break room I turn the light off and sit in dark quiet
It’s causing chronic headaches that I can’t get away from.
The key is I don’t want to regress but I want to take a break from masking and give up validation seeking for good.
Let’s all have a discussion☺️
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aspergers
|
Hi all - TW: i'm gonna talk about how I got PTSD and it might be upsetting for some to read
​
I was run over by a car last June, and have struggled to feel safe ever since. I enjoy extreme sports like rock climbing and skiing. I hadn't been skiing since the accident, and just went for the first time over the weekend. Went up to a huge resort, they had runs way longer than I had ever experienced. I'm a huge newbie, and have only been skiing infrequently for a year-ish
Anyway, i let myself be goaded into doing a route that i knew would be too hard for me by some buddies we were with. I get to the top of a big slope, way stepper than anything i'd ever skiied before, and i just panic. My SO starts doing the run, so i follow him halfway down this insanely steep hill.
I start to feel the panic attack kicking off, so i throw myself behind a rest stop sign and just completely breakdown. I'm sobbing uncontrollably, just trying to breathe. My SO slides in, and is trying to calm me down. I know i'm in the midst of a PTSD related breakdown, because i felt out of control and felt *certain* i was about to die. I kept just seeing myself slamming into a tree or another person, my whole body was shaking.
Anyway i manage to get out "I'm triggered, i don't know why" and my SO says "Are you sure you're not just anxious?" - and i pretty much lost it at that point, sobbing even harder, felt like no one was on my side, and i just wanted him to leave me alone. I invalidate my own feelings enough without him joining in when i specifically *tell him i am triggered.*
My SO manages to calm me down, and i make it down the run without further incident. Even manage to get my breathing under control. I get to the base, and the panic attack kicks right back in. My skis tangle and i face-plant into the lift line, right in front of other people. At this point I'm in full panic. I throw my poles away from me, and my ski comes unclipped. My leg is effectively pinned under my remaining ski (i was pinned under the car when i was hit last June)
My SO comes over and tells me to "just stop" - which hurt my feelings. He unclips my other ski, and told me to stop "trying to hurt" myself. Not at all what I was doing, i was just completely unable to function, and my brain was just reacting without logic. I sat in the snow and sobbed, tried to get control of myself. I felt so horrible. We took a long break in the lodge, i had a drink, and did a couple more easy runs once I'd calmed down.
It's not his job to take care of me, i know that. And this weekend he did double over-time caregiving. He's getting annoyed and fed-up with PTSD, and i'm worried he's going to just.. leave.
I feel like shit.
tl;dr can't ski with my SO or friends because i get triggered every time i go down anything steep enough to be fun. Additionally, pissed off my main supporter by getting triggered at the worst possible moment.
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ptsd
|
I just saw a post saying someone was getting burnout without meds then described exactly how I feel right now.
I'm waiting for my appointment so I can be (hopefully) diagnosed so I have no access to meds. At the moment I am averaging 7 days between showers and then it's only because my gf forces me to, dishes - or any chores - are almost a no go right now. I'm just wondering what burnout actually is and what the signs are because I've never heard of it before and I'd like to know if I'm just generally a mess or it's something else
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ADHD
|
I’m thinking about doing a “recovery through talk” kind of podcast, and myself dealing with PTSD and OCD, was curious if anyone else would be interested in such a thing.
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OCD
|
When you get something that you wanted or when something good happens to you, do you feel that it is too good to be true or that something is lacking? Whenever a desire of mine is met I am happy in the beginning but I end up feeling like it is too good to be true or I don't deserve it. I also end up desiring something else or finding flaws in the thing that I wanted and got. I just never feel satisfied. I was wondering if any of you experience the feeling of never feeling satisfied.
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aspergers
|
See those logical details and stories and topics and emotional and dramatic content the mind obsesses over? See those thoughts the mind is desperately trying to figure out? 😏
They have absolutely nothing to do with the subconscious unhealed EMOTIONS that are creating them. There are 3 'groups' of unhealed emotions: Feeling unsafe, powerless/ helpless, hurt/ not enough. That's it THESE emotions are the real 'problem', not the mental objects, stories, topics, details the mind obsesses over.
Heal and strengthen your being, give some love and compassion to those parts of you that feel unsafe, hurt, not enough, powerless, helpless, betrayed, so the mind that now feels safe and strong will INDIRECTLY withdraw the symptoms, along with all their details and nuances which, when these subconscious emotions are healed, will become irrelevant and you will go "what the heck was that?" and you will have a good laugh.
In this video I show you a very simple way to identify the real subconscious emotion that is creating this endless procession of thoughts, and I will give you a very clear direction on what to do with it so these symptoms can INDIRECTLY leave, and how this information is super practical and precise and priceless and will save you years. 💯
Be strategic. Be smart. Don't fix emotional and logical details, undo the foundation of the subconscious problem so there's nothing to fix in the first place.
[https://youtu.be/Dx1OIyaveyw](https://youtu.be/Dx1OIyaveyw)
|
OCD
|
I don’t know where else to put this, so figured I’d dump it here.
I have bills, I need money, and on top of that I have a bit of an impulsive spending problem. I like where I work, it’s easy work and it’s easy money. It’s also only four days a week on average, and the shifts are around five hours, so I get around $400 on average weekly. But some days I’ll be getting ready for work, and then all of a sudden my brain will decide that I need to do something unimportant IMMEDIATELY— and since it will take too long to do before work, I just don’t go to work. Or I could be doing nothing, and my brain will tell me, “Haha what if we just don’t go to work today,” as a passing thought, and then instead of seeing it as a joke I just make to myself I’ll be like, “Yeah. So it’s decided then, I’m skipping today.”
It’s like as soon as the thought is there, no matter how much I want to actually, you know, GO to work, I can’t. I can’t because I always expend a gigantic effort to convince myself to not listen to that part of my brain, and by the end of it, it always ends the other way around with me genuinely convinced that I *don’t* actually want to go to work anymore. And then with the extra time, I don’t even really ever do anything. The days I skip work really don’t feel like a day *off* per se, because I spend the whole day anticipating work in the evening and all of my “just skip” decisions happen impulsively, 15-20 minutes before I leave. Hell, today I was IN THE PARKING LOT of my job and just decided to sit in my car and read the whole time I was supposed to be inside, fully conscious of the time and just passively not caring.
I always regret it the day after and I always make up for it by scheduling myself another day of the week through our app, but I still have a bunch of no-call no-shows (which, miraculously, haven’t been addressed as of writing this). I don’t want to be like this, I just want to work the days I’m scheduled and relax the days I’m off. Has anyone else gone through anything similar? What psychological tricks could I use to just shut myself up when this happens?
|
ADHD
|
Has anyone been told recently how long the wait is between diagnosis and medication starting? Seems like the waits for everything with them have shot up recently, I have my diagnosis appointment in November and want to have a realistic idea in my head about how long it will be til I can start trying meds, idk if it’s likely to be a few weeks or several months.
Also I saw a couple of people say the psychiatrist who did their diagnosis appointment at Psych UK prescribed them medication during the appointment, and someone saying it depends who you see if they’ll do that or not? I’m seeing Dr Tari, does anyone know if they might prescribe in this way?
|
ADHD
|
So, I put a post on here yesterday about my ex best friend's ex liking me on Tinder, and normally if it was any other girl I wouldn't have a problem popping up, but with this girl, I literally don't know what to say. You'd think that because I know her, it would be better, but because she's my ex best friend's ex, I'm thinking "well what do I actually say?". Does anyone have any advice?
|
aspergers
|
I have always struggled with anxiety, but i think recently it’s been different. i cant stop picking at my skin and hair. like to the point where it hurts to resist the urges to scratch myself. i’ve checked everything, no lice, no dandruff, no anything. i just can’t stop. it’s not just my hair but also my body and ears and everything it’s so stressful.
|
OCD
|
Since 2016 i have been struggling with this odd phenomenon that has caused me a world of turmoil, In 2016 i had a bad reaction to an anxiety attack, my reaction included severe dissociation, pacing around, as well as obsessing about it for up to a week, i experienced images of me pacing in my head, and it was stuck in a loop, during these episodes i would feel dissociation, extreme disconnection and detachment from reality, severe anxiety and distress. Eventually the images no longer occurred, instead i was than obsessing over the psychical sensations such as the dissociation, which all date back to that traumatic event for me. In 2017, i had episodes where i would just feel as if i had an ‘aura’ or almost as something was latched onto me, i would obsess over this sensation, to the point this sensation would cause even more dissociation. After taking a combination of Zoloft, Seroquel, Risperidone, i finally had solace in my life and no longer focused on these sensations. Some of the medications needed to be tapered, due to severe weight gain, and i would experience relapses, where i would again feel a weird ‘’stuck dissociative sensation’’ in my atmosphere, my reaction to these feelings was depression, distress, and i tried so hard to push it away. It led to a life of extreme distress
|
ptsd
|
Longish post, apologies. This is all in the England.
I was referred to Psychiatry-UK under Right to Choose in March. Had my assessment in July and was diagnosed. Started titration with them last week on Elvanse.
I've had very little contact with them beyond my assessment and them sending me medication. I was diagnosed and then left to my own devices, without any guidance on what to do next beyond waiting. No reading material, no resources, no guidance, no support. After a couple of months I asked for support whilst I was waiting, through their portal, and spoke to a member of their wellbeing team (who was a qualified counsellor) on the phone once. Since I started my titration, I've again been given very little information beyond the potential side effects of the medication and how to take it safely. I have a feedback form that I'm supposed to fill in once a week about how the medication affects me and any side effects. That is the only form of contact I have with them. It's early days and I'm on a low dose but it does seem to be helping.
The medication leaflet and PUK's resources clearly state that it should be prescribed as part of a treatment plan, alongside behavioural therapy or coaching. I have asked PUK if there is any support of this kind available to help me manage my symptoms more effectively, as I don't think medication is a magic bullet that will fix 30 years of disorganisation, lack of focus, distraction and avoidance of work.
I was told by an administrator (not the psychiatrist) no and that as an NHS patient I could have either a psychosocial assessment (no ongoing therapy) or titration funded, but not both, and that as I have already started titration I would have to pay for therapy myself (which I can't afford)
**Has anyone else had a similar experience? And/or been able to convince PUK to provide talking therapy support? Or know how I can find out the details of what is funded and what isn't?** From my perspective:
* PUK should be required to follow the clinical prescribing guidance of the medication they prescribe
* I shouldn't have to choose between two forms of treatment when best practice guidances is that they are complementary and should be prescribed together.
* I suspect PUK are paid per patient by the NHS (rather than reimbursed for treatment provided) and are trying to avoid the extra cost of providing additional support, as it reduces their profit.
TLDR - I'm trying to convince PUK to give me ADHD coaching alongside my medication, and they said I can't have both, so am looking for ways to convince them or alternative options.
Thanks in advance for any help!
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been struggling with depression for a while now (luckily I finally got to see a psychiatrist and my new medication seems to be helping!) and I work remotely as a graphic designer. I took off this past week because of thanksgiving and I realized I felt better. Obviously still depressed but I was able to take better care of myself and find a tiny bit of enjoyment. I am horrified to realize that I think my job is contributing negatively to my mental health and I’m dreading going back. I feel like I’ve lost my passion for this field and I feel like I’m doing a worse job. The need to be creative and then having my work constantly judged feels so crushing. Im not sure what to do to make things better and it’s especially painful given how much work and time I’ve put in to get to this place in my career. I don’t even know what I would do instead. If anyone has an advice or has had experience with this (especially in a creative field) it would be great to hear.
|
depression
|
So basically, I'm 99 percent sure I [14F] suffer from OCD [Pure OCD to be specific, so basically intrusive thoughts/rumination]. Ive had it since i was around 8 and its ruined a significant amount of my childhood. Its tiring, frustrating and it feels like a bunch of short circuits are going off in my head all at once. To keep things relatively short, I wont go into detail, since thats not the main point. A few months ago, i finally convinced my mom to take me to a therapist for these thoughts, and it was kinda bs. She basically paid some dude to tell me stuff i already knew, and he said he didnt have a diagnosis for me, which only makes me feel like im faking this shit for attention. Where i live mental health isnt as popular so therapists arent readily available. I dont think my mom would take me to another either... I would appreciate advice on how to stop obbsesively ruminating.
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone. I suffer from health anxiety and compulsions around preventing harm and illness to loved ones and myself.
I’m on a waiting list for therapy but in the mean time I’ve been working hard on reducing the amount of times I perform my rituals and compulsions and thought I was doing really well. Well last night, I did it. I only did each one once and went to bed.
Well this morning, I’m told that I’ll need an urgent chest X-ray by the doctors and that I’ll have to wait for the appointment to come in the post. She didn’t really give any indication of what she was looking for. Obviously my anxiety is now through the roof. I’ve not stopped crying as I’m scared of what it might be but also scared that I’m going to loose all my progress.
I guess my question is has anyone been through something similar? What do I do?
|
OCD
|
I have a World History paper due tomorrow and I can't focus! I haven't taken my Vyvanse (30 mg) yet which is an obvious reason why. But I'm saving it for my work shift which starts at 4:00 pm and finishes at 9:00 pm. I'm also writing a Reddit post on this sub which isn't helping. I'm really agitated right now given these circumstances. I'm trapped! This is really bad and this class is not ADHD friendly even with the accommodations I was given!
|
ADHD
|
I'm serious though, kids are cruel, dude! And I swear some people are just born with some predatory sense of being able to smell different and vulnerable specifically so they can zone in on the undiagnosed ND kids and feel like the king of the playground. Next thing you know, you got people teasingly asking you why you talk "like that", or making fun of your stimming behaviors that somehow a lot of adults don't seem to notice, or just people calling you "weird" ad nauseum because they don't have the vocab to describe you any other way. How does that happen???
Also, any parents that might be reading this, please try to teach your children to be less judgmental and accepting of those that act differently than them as early as you can. I'm starting to think some people don't do it as well as they like to think they do, if at all...
|
aspergers
|
trigger warning, suicidal thoughts mention
The trouble with medication this month made me realize just how bad my disorder is and just how little success I've had against it since diagnosis in 2006. (if you see my post history you'll see all the shit that's happened this month)
It also made me realize just how weak I truly am. The psych seems to think you can just "hold out" during withdrawal/adjustment symptoms. Maybe stronger people than me can, but I can't.
And the new form the OCD took is so bad that I'm actually genuinely losing the will to live these days.
Tomorrow I meet with a place that does intensive outpatient. But they're telehealth only at the moment and they don't accept my insurance.
If they want to meet more than once a week, and if I have to pay for each session, I'm totally fucked. I'm going to *just barely manage* to be able to pay for the intake and once-a-week sessions, so if I have to pay more than that it's over before it started.
I apparently require more intensive treatment and the good kind of more intensive treatment isn't covered by my shitty state insurance.
I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared.
|
OCD
|
I am undiagnosed, the therapist I just started with went on vacation and I’m struggling.
I 100% believe I am evil and on track to do more evil. I analyze every action I have and point myself out to be a bad person. I keep confessing things and I have no interest in talking to anyone about anything other than my problems or the fact that I’m a bad person. I can’t tell if I’m just doing it to justify being a bad person and have people tell me I’m right. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I have to end things for myself. Like there’s no other way I’m just messed up. I feel like even if I was diagnosed with OCD, I would think I was sub consciously making everything up and saying everything to make it look like I have it. In fact I believe that completely. I keep contacting crisis to feel better, sometimes I’m even sitting there smiling and talking to them about how bad my thoughts are. I analyze things like that, maybe I’m an evil person and I’m only showing remorse for my actions to gain sympathy and attention? On top of all this I have no direct compulsions or things I feel like I need to do. I just think 24/7. I feel like I don’t even deserve or want to do things that will make me feel better. It’s getting hard for me. I have so many disturbing thoughts and I feel like some of them are just bad ways of thinking, not even intrusive. I’m lost.
|
OCD
|
My gf and I have been dating for a year now
She babysits from 8:45 to 5:30.
I usually pick her up everyday after she’s done. And she’s usually very exhausted after work.
Recently I come up with this idea to make her feel better:
Everyday when I pick her up, I give her a little gift I pick up from store like flowers, a plant she can take care of (she’s been wanting to take care of plants), or new snack or just something new that she can try. It stimulates her and gives her a new hyper fixation. I did it twice so far she loved it!!
I’m very happy about this, so just wanted to share it here.
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ADHD
|
*HOCD trigger warning*
for context im a 19 year old girl who is currently out to most people in my life as bisexual. okay so this all started when i was 13 and would often have thoughts when i met people about kissing them. it did bother me but not to a large extent, if anything i just found them annoying, except for when i would experience ones about kissing girls and one night i got really thinking about it and decided to do an “am i gay” test online, where the results came back as bisexual. for context my dad was very openly homophobic while i was growing up, so after doing this test i began to cry at the thought he wouldn’t accept me. however, the actual thought of being bi didn’t bother me that much and in the moment and fully accepted the possibility that i could be bi. but after that i just forgot all about it and continued to live without thinking about being attracted to girls and identifying as straight for another year.
then a year later i was sitting in english class and we were analysing music videos (up until this moment i had been pretty boy crazy) and one was about this gay couple. i remember saying something to my friend who was sitting next to me and thinking it sounded gay. in my head my immediate reaction was “what if you are gay?” to which immediately i was like “no i’m not i like boys and boys only” but this started a very long cycle for me. i remembered the test i had done a year ago that told me i was bi and freaked out. but then i was also thinking, well you forgot about it last time so you will forget about it again, just give it a few days. but i didn’t forget about it and it was in my mind everyday for the next 3 years (on and off with the severity of it though) everytime i went to a party i HAD to get with a boy and i would continently talk about boys i found attractive in order to prove something to myself. i got a boyfriend who i was just not interested in AT ALL, did not enjoy hanging out with him, or having sex with him or anything unless i was drunk but i was trying to convince myself i did. i would DREAD hanging out with him and be so relieved when he would leave. it felt like a chore to see him.
so after 3 years of this mental torture, one night this tiktok came up on my fyp randomly that said “girls who don’t like girls don’t spend this much time wondering if they like girls or not” after seeing this it was almost like a had a complete change of mindset and something just clicked. i was no longer afraid of being attracted to girls and i fully accepted the possibility that i was bi and attracted to girls and i wasn’t afraid of it anymore. i wrote down “i am bisexual” on a piece of paper and said it to myself in the mirror and i felt content (although still had some anxiety over just being gay) but i was not longer afraid of being attracted to girls. after that night i emerged myself into queer culture and learnt a lot about the queer experience and looked back at my past experiences, realising all the signs i didn’t realise as a child that i was attracted to girls. i was content and proud of myself for being bi and with my attraction to girls i had never felt more sure about anything in my life. i broke up with my boyfriend and was eager to have lesbian experiences. i had never been more happy and free in my life, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. while i still had mild anxiety about maybe not being attracted to men and just being gay, it didn’t bother me much because of my certainty in my attraction to girls and the joy i was feeling from becoming apart of this amazing queer community. this was in august of last year and i experienced the BEST most freeing and enjoyable year of my life. it was the happiest i had ever been and i felt like i had really found myself.
until the monster hit almost 3 months ago. i had started talking to this girl and everything was going great, i really liked her, could see a future with her, and things were moving really well. everything seemed so right. i felt a way i had never felt before and it felt SO much different from my last relationship with a guy and just felt right (sexually and emotionally) and i started to accept the fact that maybe i am just gay. and i had pretty much come to the conclusion that yeah i only liked women. then all of a sudden out of nowhere i started to get these extremely distressing and depressing thoughts like, “what if you’re not attracted to girls”, “ what if you don’t actually like her”, “what if you were wrong what if you really are just straight.” of course my immediate reaction was to fight these thoughts and use my past experiences to prove to myself this wasn’t true, but the thoughts didn’t stop and they just kept getting worse and worse. i felt absolutely defeated. i had gone on this extremely long and debilitating journey to come to terms with and feel proud of my sexuality, finding a community i identified with and related to, only to have it all flipped on it’s head. i felt insane. it felt just like i did 3 years ago when i started doubting my “straightness” only 10x worse because this time i had really found myself and a community and a girl i really really liked. i didn’t understand how this could be happening. it felt unreal. i had the best year of my life, the happiest i had ever been, and the most myself i had ever felt, i had found my identity and i was proud of that and now it was all gone.
that’s when i was like this can’t be normal there has to be something wrong with me and i looked it up. there i found out what sexual orientation ocd was. i tried to do erp at home by myself but it wasn’t working and the thoughts were getting even worse, so bad i didn’t feel like i could keep living. i reached out to a therapist and i’ve been getting help for it for about 3 weeks now. but it’s not getting any better.
i was wondering if anyone had any tips to help me in erp. i have gotten over sexual orientation obsessions before without even realising i had ocd (fear of being attracted to girls, fear of not being attracted to men) but those fears/obsessions were true. i am attracted to girls and i’m not attracted to men (i don’t think) and i got over those because i fully accepted the possibility of them being true. however, i’m really struggling to fully accept the possibility that i am just straight. i know it’s not true but i’m scared if i do fully accept it that it will turn out true like all the other times. PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN HELP I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. i just wanna go back to feeling happy, carefree and gay asf again lmao. no but seriously i can’t live like this forever so if you do have any tips please help cause it’s also causing me to feel extremely depressed most days.
|
OCD
|
Yesterday I had an awful, religious intrusive thought and since then I'm so scared. I'm trying really hard not to do any compulsion, but the fear is so overwhelming. I'm so scared that I'm ungrateful, awful little pest and that I would go to hell. I know that was only a thought and I know I'm not my thoughts but I feel sinful. I'm trying to cope, but not fight with this thought. I'm so scared and tired, somebody help me...
|
OCD
|
I've kind of come to the conclusion that I probably have PTSD. I have most of the symptoms, and having therapy has made me realise that its not just a mix of depression and anxiety in a spicy cocktail.
The issue I'm having is that I don't particularly like going to the doctors, and the doctors I have now at uni don't really listen to me, as in I've been telling them for a year that my meds have no impact, and they keep putting me on the same dose of the same meds so I'm really afraid to tell them and them say that I should have some different meds (a small win) and we'll see what happens, even though the trauma was ages ago and I've been having the symptoms for years.
I'm in my last year of uni, and I don't know whether its going to be worth it starting the process this year, especially if I have to fight my doctors every month to even get them to listen to me.
|
ptsd
|
Hi
Before I start I want to say I see two therapists, and starting group therapy soon. It doesn’t seem to help but I am still sticking with it because it’s better than nothing.
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. I had a lot of child trauma (TW)- sexual abuse for 5+ years at a very young age, messy parents divorce and a mentally ill parent, extensive bullying and an eating disorder.
My problem now is how hard it is to let go of people. I was going through a messy break up and started clinging to my ex boyfriend from high school. Then, the boy I recently broke up with started to “get better” and wants me back and is being nice again. My problem is that neither of them will stay in my life if the other is there. I know it sounds simple to say “just be single and focus on yourself” but I physically do not know how to do that. Any chance to have physical comfort from either I will and do take and I’m lying because I don’t want to lose either of them.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I don’t know how to take care of myself and I’m terrified from the second I wake up in the morning to when I go to sleep. I’m doing therapy and on antidepressants I just don’t know how to let go of either person it’s unimaginable pain to think of losing someone or not having access to someone.
What should I be doing? I feel like I’ve never been in such turmoil or pain. I’m disoriented all the time, stressed, sad and I can’t take being alone. I don’t know what to do and I really really need help
|
ptsd
|
When I was young my aunt always made me feel like pray, and would do anything to make me scared of her, and to harm me. I was around 5, and she was 12 or 13.
She showed me pornography at a really young age too, despite my crying and hiding, and told me not to tell anyone, otherwise my family will disown me.
A few months back, all the memories started coming back to me, and I remembered what she did. I told my grandmother, and my mother about it.
Turns out she completely forgot about it, and was now extremely apologetic, which I'm sure is sincere, but I still don't have any trust for her. Apparently she started crying when my gran told her off and told her what she had heard for me. She said she'd make up for it, but I doubt anything she'll do would ever make up for her basically taking my entire childhood away.
She's now an adult, and I'm 15.
Is this normal to feel?
Her apology seemed sincere, and both of my parents seem fine with me going over for a holiday to where she lives.
We live in a different country, and I'm going to have to be in the same house as her. I'm still worried that her apology was fake, and she'll hurt me because I told someone.
My GP said I show clear signs of PTSD and trauma, so I thought I'd share here.
|
ptsd
|
How do you cope with both? I’m a newbie—three four months in newly diagnosed with PTSD. I’ve had OCD for 7 years.
|
ptsd
|
This might be a commonly asked question but this happens to me, so I'm curious if anyone else does this same thing I do.
EDIT: Meant to say anxious in the title, not scared.
|
aspergers
|
I’m not sure if I’d call this is a theme as much as a feeling/thought, but it’s annoying and troubling. But any time I try to do something good for myself or do something that I enjoy I think “why?” and “do I really enjoy this?” And “what if I’m just lying to myself about enjoying this?” It’s really annoying. Sometimes I want to put all the ocd stuff aside and just enjoy what makes me happy but ocd makes me feel like I’m lying to myself about it. Very frustrating. I can handle when themes are more abstract and not as based in reality, but when they start attacking my escapes it’s so hard to handle
|
OCD
|
Hi,
I went through a pretty traumatic time a number of years ago. I was gas lit by some co-workers at a start-up over the period of a year; still to this day don't understand why they did it. I won't go into details about what happened exactly, but in the end I had a complete breakdown, I was out of work for 3 months straight, and spend some time with a psychologist. Eventually I got back on track but a couple of years later thinks started going bad, I found a new psychologist and after spending a few months with her she diagnosed me as having a significant trauma, akin to mild PTSD.
I worked with my psychologist for over two years to get a grip on things, she was great!
About a year into my sessions another work related bullying things happened, not to me, but to someone on my team, coming from management down. I wouldn't play ball so they started targeting me too. In any case, that's a whole other story. My therapist helped me, and things have gotten better, I've left that job and moved on to better things.
The thing is, as you can imagine, there were a lot of triggers when they started targeting my co-worker.
Since that time, my ability to problem solve and make connections as been "blocked" for want of a better term. I don't know what to do.
I used to be good at my job, like really, really exceptionally great! I love solving technical problems and logic puzzles and my job is all about that.
However these days I've hit upon a problem. The part of my brain that "connects things together", the part that see patterns and allows me to easily solve problems and figure things out seems to be inaccessible.
I have one or two co-workers who are exceptional at figuring stuff out, and all I can think watching them is how I used to be like that, but now I can't access that part of my brain any more.
It's like I take all the inputs, the pieces I need to see the picture of the problem that needs to be solved and just.... nothing.... patterns and connections that used to be obvious to me before just aren't there any more. But it actually feels like there's some subsection of my brain that isn't accessible. It's not that I forget how to do it, or it's too complicated, the functionality that was there before is no longer in reach.
Does anyone know what I mean?
Does it make sense to anyone? It's really worrying to me now. It's one of my favourite things to do, and I get well paid for it.
I still eventually get things done, but I feel like it can take me 5 times longer to complete a task. And the connections never happen. I just fumble my way through.
​
it's very frustrating.
|
ptsd
|
I'm new to OCD subtypes and I've been told I had OCD but never had any indications I did, or maybe I ignored them because they were normal for me. But unrelated to that, what is real event OCD?
|
OCD
|
Hello all
Firstly I commend you all for fighting this terrible illness I’ve seen first hand how shit it can be.
My gf has ocd we have two children together and sometimes it’s hard for me to help (do I need to help?)
I just wanted to ask if there’s any of you with partners that help you and how they do it? Guess I’m looking for tips.
I just want to be the best I can be for her or whatever so any help is greatly appreciated.
Thank you kind people.
|
OCD
|
I was thinking back to this specific time in 10th grade when one of my classmates broke her tailbone. She had been gone from school for a month and lived pretty far away from, so she asked if she could stay over at my house for two weeks. The trip would be shorter and my mom would drive me to school , so less bumpy. I said yes, and assumed she’d let me know when she was better enough to return to school and start staying at mine.
She did not let me know. She showed up the next day at school with a huge luggage saying how happy she was that I’m letting her stay. I had a straight up panic attack in the middle of my physics class.
I always wondered if maybe I was just actually an asshole and hated the idea of her staying over? I just realized today that it was just my ADHD brain. It desperately needs structure and a plan in order to survive, it cannot do spontaneity. I probably would’ve been fine if she had told me the day before, so cleaning my room would be a life or death situation.
|
ADHD
|
Here I am again, looking at myself again, I can't remember why again but I hate myself and cry again, you listen from the other room still I may as well be miles from you..you still hold me close in my mind and the last 10 years I falisify, planting someone else's memories in attempt to replace the suffering but I know the high will go again and I'll be looking at myself again, I'll hate myself and cry again, I beg you let me die my friend.
|
depression
|
This method is often bandied about as do the hard thing first, but this method, as many times as I have tried, always ends in failure for me.
When I try to eat the frog I just stare at the frog and it becomes bigger and meaner until I run away screaming.
The only way I have been able to do it is to work on other things till my mind is prepared then when I am ready I can go det the frog, cut it up season it and prepare it with a nice sauce.
It takes much longer, but at least it gets done sometimes.
Idk I just feel like most of these kinds of "tips" just don't work unless they are specifically designed for people with adhd.
|
ADHD
|
Hello, I find that recently I am having quite a lot of issues with schoolwork. I was originally meant to start my bachelor's thesis earlier this year, in march/april. During that time, I was going through a very rough period and was not able to do any work, which my supervisor understood. He knows about my anxiety disorder, but not about my not diagnosed yet, but very possible ADHD (I was supposed to go to a screening last week, unfortunately couldn't, they are looking for a better date for me). As a result even as I got better I wasn't able to fully grasp how much work and exactly how I was supposed to do, ending in either not doing anything, doing it wrong, or doing too little.
Now its months past that and the leaves i was supposed to analyze I barely started on, and there's a lot of them. The start of the thesis i was supposed to write i didn't write either, though i did read up on everything. Something always seems to pause me and i am unable to recover. I NEED to do this. I WANT to do this, but in panic i set deadlines that then fail to force me to do what i need to because my supervisor is not a test that needs something on a certain date, but a human. He's at the end of the thread with me, I can tell. He's very supportive but my issues are causing him issues too and I feel so awfully selfish and incompetent. Days go by faster than I can notice, and I get nothing done. Its been months since he first asked me to hurry. I'm struggling and its all with things i should be able to do. Do you guys know any way to help me? Do you guys know anything that could help? I don't want him to know that I have more problems, the anxiety is already enough.
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ADHD
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I feel like such a horrible person and I don’t know what to do. I went through my unopened messages and there are three of my friends who have been consistently swiping up on my stories for six months now. And I haven’t responded. For six whole months.
Two of these three people I see and talk to almost daily so I feel slightly better about them since they’re aware I’m not ignoring them. But one of them I haven’t seen since August.
To make matters worse, these specific people are genuinely the sweetest people I know. And I’ve been unconsciously ghosting them for months.
The issue is, when I saw these messages, I kept thinking “Oh I remember that message - I thought I responded.”
So I’ve been mentally responding instead of physically responding for months now.
I don’t know how to forgive myself for this.
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ADHD
|
I’m so miserable and I just feel like giving up. I’ve been on medication for anxiety and depression since I was 16 but these things don’t seem to work like they used to before. I graduated high school last year and I’m so lost. High school was a struggle and I’m surprised I made it through. I graduated a year late, I didn’t get to graduate with my twin and I was so fucked up and embarrassed. My twin sister has always been the smartest. I kept saying that I was going to college and college would be way different from high school. I started community college in January of 2021 and it was all online due to COVID. I was so depressed cause I had stopped my medication and I ended doing so bad on my first semester of college that I decided not to go back. My family keeps telling me to go back cause everything is in person now but I’m not smart enough and I’m so fucked up. My twin sister is doing so well in school and I’m so happy for her but I feel so miserable because I can’t do that. I have no friends just my twin. I have a full time job at a factory and I can’t be there any longer. I wanna go back school but I don’t know what to do. I want to do something short and simple. I feel like a burden. I need a life!!!! I’m such a fucking mess. Some days are better than most. This depression comes full circle.
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depression
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So I got diagnosed at 7 or so, I always had problems at communication, socialization, school etc etc... undeniably aspie, however my mom doesn't accept that fact. My aunt is really cool and she gives me some support and acknowledges me and my difficulties and how I am. But my mom is always giving excuses, I know she doesn't want me to feel weird or different or left out, but I just feel like she is denying the fact that I AM somewhat different and that isn't bad... I don't feel bad for being like this, but she makes me feel bad like I shouldn't be like this and she sometimes gets mad, she hates when I have things in common with other aspies. it seems like she doesn't like me being like this, then she says sorry but ends up doing the same thing again....
Is there anything I can do? She isn't that bad but I don't feel well about this...
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aspergers
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Man I should’ve died a long time ago, what’s the literal point of bein here 🙄
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depression
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TW
I’m 16 and when I was 14 I met this guy online who was 17 and we started dating when he was 18 (yes I know I was stupid) I won’t go into much detail but what matters was he was emotionally abusive and manipulative and that lasted until the beginning of quarantine when I was finally able to completely cut him out of my life with the help of my new boyfriend.
He said if he ever saw me he would “publicly r*pe and humiliate me”(he knows where I go to school and hang out) He would always be yelling at me for the smallest things and call me a pathetic little shit and ever since then I’ve been extremely paranoid by the smallest movements, whenever someone slightly raises their voices or makes a loud noise I start crying. I’ve had trouble sleeping and have had constant nightmares, and talking to adults has been completely terrifying and I break down crying. There was also a time while we were dating where I just had an anxiety attack after a girl who he cheated on me with showed up randomly and I started shaking uncontrollably. I’ve just been really sensitive and constantly overthink.
My current boyfriend says I need therapy and I know I do and I want help but asking my parents for anything is terrifying and whenever I do or I try to I end up crying uncontrollably and it’s just scary I don’t now how to talk to them or bring it up I don’t want to tell them about what happened to me yet since they would probably be really disappointed and upset but I just need the help and don’t know how to ask them or how else I can get help.
I did tell my parents I wanted a therapist before but they ended up forgetting and that never happened.
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ptsd
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21f previously diagnosed bipolar type one, possible schizophrenia (new psych says just ptsd so everything is entirely unclear)
anyway for the past couple years i've had intense fears of being tracked by people (police, fbi etc) and the thoughts that i may have committed crimes and not remembered or unknowingly and unintentionally hurt someone at my job at the hospital. thoughts that people were trying to expose me for things (nothing in particular) and what followed these intense thoughts is me researching laws, statutes, court cases on things i thought i may have done very obsessively for many hours a day. also obsessively checking certain peoples social media to make sure they weren't posting about me or something. became a ritual and is getting bad again. i don't know if this is ocd per say and i definitely don't want to diagnose myself i just thought maybe you guys had some kind of understanding and could help me get through this.
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OCD
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Content warning; Mention of a pet's passing.
Hey there,
My beloved cat, Elly, passed away about six weeks ago and I'm having a really hard time with it. I'm really stuck in my grief and haven't been able to move forward.
I try to sit with the emotions, I cry and hug myself, but I'm exhausted and my heart just won't stop breaking. My therapist has said that I have to stop fighting the emotions, that I have to create space for them. I'm trying to but the emotions are the same level of intensity every time I return to them. They're still so intense, that it's exhausting and I have a life to live.
Does anyone have any advice for navigating grief?
Any support would be welcomed because I'm not in the best place and I'm feeling very alone.
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ptsd
|
After reading so many posts about being afraid of getting cancelled online, i found many of them came from this OCD community. I have never been formally diagnosed with OCD but it has been incredibly debilitating my entire life, especially as a child. Now for a couple months I’ve been experiencing an extreme fear of getting cancelled online. Would anyone experiencing the same thing want to message? Honestly i have trust issues and you could be a spy lol but i need to get some shit off my chest, and i’m a good listener. I have done some messed up things but I know my fears are irrational. it just feels so real.
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OCD
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I’ve been dating/in a situation with a woman I love for 3ish years now. We aren’t really afraid to ask for positive affirmations when we’re insecure about something in our partnership. She has ptsd from a past abusive relationship. Tonight, while doing a normal activity where we exchange questions, I expressed that I feel weird trying to sweet talk bc I don’t know how to talk to girls I like. This was more about me being awkward than anything, and even besides it actually giving her a flashback I think I worded it really awful and it came across as playerish although I meant it in no such way, just that when we are being sweet with each other I feel I sound corny or weird. It did trigger some flashbacks of something her previous partner said, and she said although it’s not my fault she felt a punch to her gut and wanted to go to bed early instead of continuing our conversation (we were texting btw.) I completely understand and respect the choice, but short term I’m not really sure what the best way to move forward? Should I bring up the conversation again and apologize even though I’ve done so a few times already and she said it’s not my fault, act like it didn’t happen and send a message so she doesn’t have to think about it or say anything about it, wait a day or two, be quick with a message tomorrow as to not make her doubt her decision to go to bed in what had been a good conversation before I slipped up (I feel this also might be insensitive but I dunno,) or wait for her to say anything? I understand everyone is different, Ig I’m asking what would be the best approach generally speaking in an event like this? This is the first time this has happened (or at least that she’s told me)
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ptsd
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Here goes the reasons:
everything I read here comes from the "venting" tag, I can't take it anymore (I don't want to belittle anyone's suffering but this is becoming impractical). this part of the subreddit doesn't bring any benefit, other than a generalized catharsis. The person who writes this don't improve in any way because they are just saying the same old thing everyone knows "OCD is bad", as well most the comments in this posts, gosh!
I know that speaking about your problems is helpful but this tag only bring the same behaviour: "omg, I am so poor! Bad OCD! Very bad!" and __IT__ is not helpful.
I want to emphasize here that the work of the moderators is very good and I am not saying that the ENTIRE community is bad; just that part is. Those people from "venting" tag should seek for real help from some kind of therapist istead of dump buckets of mental crap on people who are "in the middle" of OCD treatment because these are the last things anyone would want to see while going through.
Ironically, this sparked some sort of venting on my part. Ha.
I'm sorry for any grammatical/semantic mistakes I may have made.
I am sorry too if this post was offensive in any way. It wasn't my intention.
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OCD
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A teacher asked us to introduce ourselves in class to "get to know each other better" but when my turn came I didn't know what to say so I just mentioned my name and that's it. After that she began to scold me, she said "you had all that time to prepare and you leave me with this, you should be more considerate, many would like to be in your place" (she said more shit but she no longer understood, I was in crisis) FUCK, stupid lady you know how much work it costs me the simple fact of mentioning my name, GODS sometimes makes me want to kick them. I get fed up it's always the same, I try to speak but at the moment I tremble and I can't articulate a word, seriously some teachers are a fucking shit of shit, be more aware they do not know what happens to their students, in the end from that shit I had a little crisis I had to talk to my friend to control myself, I really got fed up with this shit from the teachers.
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aspergers
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i used to be able to play for hours when i was a kid but now it only takes 20-30 minutes for me to be bored. i often continue playing because there was still stuff i wanted to enjoy.
you would think this is a good thing that allows me to be more productive but i end up just feeling depressed and demotivated after and too lazy to do anything else. so i just keep playing all day because it’s an easy “thing to do” despite having a list of stuff i wanted to do.
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ADHD
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I'm thinking mainly of forms of expression that are essentially harmless but that some more judgy people might personally consider "cringe" or off-putting: such as wearing alternative clothing styles or apparel that reflects you and your identity as a person, embracing your identity as a fan of a particular genre/art form/visual style/media franchise without embarrassment, etc. as well as more active rather than passive versions of this such as creating the art, music, or writing that you personally want to create without worrying about how it will be perceived (even if people might read their own interpretation of subtext or intentions into it).
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aspergers
|
Hello everyone, how are you?
I'm Noah. It is a pleasure for me to be in this community and learn more about BPD, because 3 months ago my wife was diagnosed, and it has been a long road where we have had to overcome obstacles that we thought were impossible. She also had depression and anxiety, but we are going though it very successfully
She had some very strong BPD episodes, where everything got out of control. We have worked very hard to overcome this difficult episode, and I am proud to say that we are leaving BPD in the past.
She is currently taking several pills for her different disorders.
A few days ago we found out what the source of this disorder was, and since that day everything has been going great. It was worth all the effort we made.
We have had a very successful process with her psychologist, although we are really the ones who have achieved this, because the psychologist simply says what we have been concluding for a long time.
We are currently thinking of having a baby, and want to leave all the antidepressants and other pills in the past. I would like to get some of your advice on how to go through this other process successfully.
Thank you so much for your attention, and I hope you all also make it through what my dad's wife calls: living a nightmare every day.
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depression
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I've been on elvanse (50mg) for around 3 years now. I think I started when I was 14 and now I'm almost 17. But now I don't feel like it works anymore. I can barely focus on lessons and just paying attention to any topic in school feels nearly impossible. Should I try a higher dose like maybe 70mg or try a completely new medication? I've previously been on concerta and strattera but they didn't work for me.
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ADHD
|
Hi all, I have a quick question regarding Concerta and aging.
I recently started on my first prescription (18mg), but have read that some ADHD medications like Adderall (since it contains amphetamine salts) can cause premature skin aging & wrinkles.
Does Concerta cause premature aging? I know it’s not like Adderall and instead is a brand name for methylphenidate, but I’ve tried doing some research online and haven’t been able to find any results regarding Concerta and aging and/or wrinkles.
Any advice or answers would be greatly appreciated.
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ADHD
|
Might be ADHD, might be bipolar.
Well, I do have both of them, but I don't know which of them makes me feel like this. At the moment im in stage where I don't want to do anything, just lay in the bed and stay comfortable, but that is not very easy to do when I have to go to work, do things and so on.
The biggest problem that comes around every year is me quitting my job. Haven't done it yet, but I really thinking about quitting it, doing something new and starting new path. I did it thousands of times and wanting to do it again. I feel really miserable.
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ADHD
|
Like usual, I procrastinated doing my Christmas shopping. This year was even worse because I was struggling with being diagnosed, and today I started meds for the first time. The issue is, now I have an Xmas party to attend tonight where we are exchanging secret santa and I haven't shopped yet. The party is at 7 and it's almost 1 and I am really struggling to get myself to leave the house. I feel weird because it's my first day on meds, and I just know the stores are going to be insanely busy and overstimulating. Ugh. Hopefully next year is easier.
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ADHD
|
I'm heterosexual, 3 years ago a thought of having sex with men came to mind and I immediately ignored it but it was too late for me, the thought was already deep in my brain and I didn't want it. I started to have fears about acting on that thought one day. I know I am not gay, I do not feel attracted to men I've had multiple girlfriends, but the thought of this specific classmate and I having sex has developed over a year now and It's eating me alive, I cannot think properly, sleep, drive, do homework, read etc... There is a constant fear that I may act one day on this obsessive thought that I do not want.
I don't know what to do!! PLEASE HELP ME
What can I do??
How do I battle this thoughts?
Please please if you've been through something like this please answer
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OCD
|
So just so you know it, I have aspergers and I'm gay. I'm at a point in life where I don't see the meaning with anything anymore. I'm at an education, which isn't too hard, but still I simply can't make myself do the work and will most likely drop out. The thing is, I'm not stupid or anything, I simply can't fit into the conventional school system and never have.
In my high school I've accomplished tremendous goals, bit they were all not related to my education. Now I'm at a point in life where I could drop out, but what am I gonna do then?
I'm studying programming, and it's literally killing me. Like the more I try to force this education, the more suicidal I feel. But what if I drop out and start working? What am I gonna do then? I have very few friends and I feel no drive towards the future.
And if I will just work a dead-end job, why should I keep go on living? And it's not that I couldn't learn programming if it was just by myself, but because it's through an education, I simply can't do it especially not during the lockdowns.
Tl;dr I can't do anything that has to do with education and I wonder why?
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aspergers
|
I have OCD, and was diagnosed at 12, I'm 18 now. I've been suspecting that I have adhd for 3 years, and kinda want to bring it up to my therapist (of one year), but I'm kinda afraid he might not take me seriosly and just brush it off. If there are people who went to a therapist with this suspection in mind, do you have any suggestions?
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ADHD
|
So I’m currently in therapy for OCD. Been in this program for 3 weeks now. It’s three days a week and it’s group therapy with other people. It has been helping some but my therapist has been asking me to give my ocd a name. Which I previously told her I don’t want to because it makes me think I have two people in my head. She agreed and moved on. Then a week later brought it back up in our session and I quickly told her no I am not interested in giving it a name. She didn’t listen. So as the days went on she acted more pissed towards me. Then finally this week she made up a random word and started shouting it at me when I did compulsions. There’s “name” again. Oh no that’s “name” again. She literally gave my ocd a name when I told her no. That is absolutely ridiculous. I told her that I won’t be using that name but she keeps aging it on so every time I have a compulsion she calls out that word. Makes me angry. She completely ignored me and just did what she pleased. I don’t like her. What do I do? Has anyone had this happen to them before?
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OCD
|
Okay so here's what I'm struggling with:
Whenever I'm about to do something important: for example starting a new screenplay for my next film, or buying a phone case that will stick with me forever, or buying a necklace, creating a new social media account or a youtube channel etc
I want to think about good things, because I think that if I think about something I despise during the process of creating or buying something that's gonna stay with me for a long time and that's important to me, then it will be bad.
So I try to soo hard to think about things that I like and love while doing such tasks, however, my brain always wins no matter what as you can guess.
This whole thing prevents me from doing anything important.
Creating stuff, buying stuff or etc,
For instance, I was about to create a new instagram account for a new film of mine,
but I kept thinking about people and memories I despise that I was like ''ok I'll do this a few days later when I think about something good''
​
I'd appreciate any kind of help, insight, or comment as it's making me quite tired
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OCD
|
I have been finding it hard to stop overthinking about certain things like which way a clock hand should be pointing, the perfect way to do a math problem which keeps me from finishing it, and now left is better than right and if I touch something with my right food I must touch it with the left two times to balance it. It’s really annoying at times with The clock thing really adding to my procrastination of work.
So do I, or is this kind of an overreaction from googling up ocd?
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OCD
|
Step 1: I tell myself it's not a big deal and I'm overreacting. There are things that this person will never understand because they are NT or a different kind of neurodivergent or they're biased by their personal experiences and if I say I'm upset I'm going to make them feel guilty or spark an argument or better yet, a fight
Step 2: I remember how many friendships died down because I kept this kind of feelings to myself, and I remember that this particular friend keeps making the same mistake because I don't correct them so I am also to blame. So I voice my feelings. If I'm too polite they won't get it.a I just throw it out there, "I'm upset" as simple as that. No yelling. Not even glaring. It's for the good of the friendship and it's also so very hard to keep everything inside.
Step 3: I discover, once again, that so many people don't think there is any way to see things other than their own way. They do not believe that there is reason for me to be upset, and then I'm the one who needs to grow up and whatever. Or they will give empty apologies that are meant to make them feel better about themselves, not me. Why can't people admit it to their small mistakes. Why does it have to be a disaster for them to come say "alright I fucked up".
I admit I'm also biased. I also act this way sometimes but I try to make it right if I want to keep that friend a friend. But it's so hard to be out there. To talk to people why I'm on high alert mode, so afraid to say the wrong thing because everyone has been speaking this language since birth and I've only started to learn a few years back. I always thought friends were people who I wouldn't have to pretend around them. What's the use of hanging out with someone if I'm going to force myself to ignore certain things they do? Or if they have a wrong understanding of me?
TL;DR I like having friends but I also hate it.
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aspergers
|
I have one thing I'm passionate about and I've been fixated on it for years, it's something creative I want to do. Problem is I can't finish anything, I can't make plans, and I'm extremely impulsive. So I'm endlessly starting projects and not seeing them through. Today I feel completely defeated because it seems to be worse than before. I get two - three steps into a project and I'm already lost or bored or unsatisfied. It's such a shitty thing to be super fixated and actually *want* to do something only to fail over and over before you've even begun properly no matter what you try.
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ADHD
|
I feel like I don't have enough time for anything. Just I can´t stop think about the hours, I try to organize my day per tasks and hours, but is not enough, and the unforeseen make me feel sick and anxius. I want controll all everything around me.
I think I have the necesity to create my own days with diferents hours.
(Sorry for my poor english, it my third lenguage)
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aspergers
|
My 26th birthday is very soon, meaning I only have a year left before the omen comes true.
For nearly 2 decades I’ve waited to turn 27 to Kms. I’ve had the shittiest life. I can’t wait for it to be over. Almost there.
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depression
|
Hi,
So recently I’ve been getting quite a weird reaction and I don’t know if this is linked to my anxiety or ADHD or possibly both but some sounds can actually make me feel nauseous. Most recently it’s been people talking outside my window (???) in high volumes. Sometimes it can be certain kinds of music.
I realise sound sensitivity is a thing with ADHD but to this extent? I’ve always been sensitive to sounds and high pitches (I’m also quite jumpy), but this is new to me!
Does anyone else have something similar?
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ADHD
|
I hate myself and how I look. Literally everyone i know calls me ugly and skinny. Its not like I can fucking control how I look. I have no talent and no looks to work with. I struggle to wake up everyday and my grades are going to shit, so college won't me a thing. I have really bad social anxiety so getting friends is next to impossible. I want to kill myself so badly but there really is no painless way to go. Why was I born In the first place?
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depression
|
I been wondering this for a while, has anyone felt better mentally after finding some to love. Could that help? Has it ever helped. I want to know, I want something besides an anti depressant I want someone to love. I don’t know if I’m just lying to myself that it could be the fix to make me feel better. has anyone found someone and ended up happy. Even if it was temporary I just want someone something.
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depression
|
Today i hung out with some family for father's day. Had to put my nephew in his high chair and check his diaper for poop, both of which i was asked to do. Dreaded both. Felt bad about both. Everyone tells me I'm not a monster but it's just so hard to believe. Could really use some support. Going through a lot lately.
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OCD
|
Things for this person have been really bad from a very young age she now doesn’t let me touch her or talk to her she lashes out to everyone who tries to help her and I feel I’m getting emotionally drained because everything I do makes me feel I’m losing them
They have tried therapy but it doesn’t seem to help she’s more distant now
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ptsd
|
Maybe it’s just me but I literally feel on edge any time I’m near an extrovert because most of them are always talking and chances are if they need to find something to talk about it’s going to be about the people around them. In the end I always end up being the subject at some point and I don’t want to be a part of it. I feel like extroverts are always judging, always commenting on something and it’s annoying. You don’t need to have an opinion on everything and if you do, chances are you didn’t think that much about it. Obviously many extroverts are well educated and have interesting things to say but most of the time I find that they don’t add much to the table. They drain my energy and I hate it. 🤷♀️
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aspergers
|
Have u ever experienced something where ur ocd says ur intentions are pedophilic. Or this one thing happens where my mind will say look at her neck because u want to do something innapropriate or that u should scroll up to look at a bad image of a child. I act on these but I can’t resist.
|
OCD
|
Whether it's what order to do a few things in or what to eat, what to say to someone, what to do or how to do something, I just cannot make decisions.
I don't have confidence in my own decision making, I am also scared of making the wrong decision, and I also feel so overwhelmed with too many things that decision making feels impossible without reassurance.
Is it possible for this to be something you can overcome/get better at?
Does anyone know what makes decision making harder and how to combat the stress it causes?
|
ADHD
|
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