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Recently diagnosed inattentive adhd, prescribed strattera but haven’t started yet because my pharmacy had to order it. I’m trying to educate myself on this disorder and I have learned about imposter syndrome so maybe that’s what’s happening to me idk. I’m having a hard time relating to the symptoms that are typically listed. I do struggle hardcore with task initiation..I am a professional when it comes to avoiding, even if it’s something I want to get done. But I can’t say I have a hard time concentrating.. if anything, I pay wayy tooo much attention to things. I analyze to no end. One example is that I can’t go inside of a store to shop because I get so overwhelmed and I spend so much time over thinking the products, I don’t know which one to buy and I can spend 3 hours for a $50 shopping order. I think someone referred to it as analysis paralysis. So i don’t believe I get distracted, I over think. If anybody could give me some insight to this, I’d appreciate it! Or if you think I lean more to a different diagnoses, please tell me what you think it is!!
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ADHD
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So... I have a problem with telling my mental health team everything.. I don’t want to worry them, embarrass myself, or really talk about how bad things are. I know it’s not helpful but I just find it really hard to talk about these things and to acknowledge how bad it is. I put up a front with the people I’m around, and that’s hardly ever. Its just easier to say, “yeah I’m ok” then to talk all about it...Is there anyone else that has this issue? Has anyone overcome this issue?
(For reference I have PTSD from MST, GAD, and Depression)
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ptsd
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Yesterday I put lemons in my room to try to get rid of the ants. I heard that citrus in lemon scares away ants because they don’t like the smell. I wrapped and rubber banded the lemons and put them on the floor in different parts of my room. Tonight I started to see ants on my bed. I am started to get really grossed out and worried that they’ll climb on me and try to bite. I still have to keep spraying my room with Lysol and another carpet spray but the ants still keep coming back. I hope I can still sleep at night. I’ve had bad experiences with ant problems at home before and thought they were gone for good but I guess not.
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OCD
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A family member's friend who I've definitely met before greeted me by name. I greeted her back, but then she asked if remember her. I do remember meeting her, but I could not for the life of me remember. She didn't seem mad about, I just felt like a jackass and an idiot.
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aspergers
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Hello
I'm just in a very dark place currently, my parents divorced a few years ago, the next year my best friend passed. Those two things changed me to the worse and I feel like I won't make it to 18, it's my birthday in a few months. Not only that but I later found out my girlfriend cheated on me and I hate and regret my major in college.
It just seems like I'm the unluckiest person ever and I'm so depressed, and I'm writing this because I have no one to talk about it to. So just letting someone know I struggle makes me feel a lot easier.
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depression
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I feel disgusted, I feel such anger towards him, I'm just gonna burst...
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depression
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(sorry, I’ve been in a lot of OCD and other mental health forums seeking information/other people’s experiences lately BUT) has anyone who’s had success with Lexapro for OCD added Wellbutrin on top of it? I’ve heard Wellbutrin can increase anxiety but I’ve also heard that the combo can cancel out some of the side effects of Lexapro. I’m not far in and on a low dose, but I’m already having some noticeable side effects that I’m told Wellbutrin can help with (low libido, weight gain). I’d love if I can have it all and keep all the positives of Lexapro while cancelling out the negatives with the Wellbutrin, but promises promises!
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OCD
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I've made it this far and I am glad I am still managing.
I'm curious about what you guys are grateful for, or what your success stories are.
I've managed to make a plan and follow through on it , without excessively planning every detail.
I'm excited because I finally found clothes I'm comfortable in. I've got my outfits arranged for each day of the week. My work schedule is now predictable and the work itself is simple and repetitive. I've got my meal prep ready. I'm finally managing to sleep well and at a specific time (I take melatonin)
Lastly, I have a journal I've been filling out for month now. It's a really good one it's called "No worries". I write down the thoughts I had that day, ways to reframe them and then I take note of my triggers and responses to them. It lets you draw little pictures of your accomplishments for the day. You have a little self care checklist and you gotta write 5 things you're grateful for. Lastly, there's a lil box asking you to draw what made you happy. I bought it off of Amazon. I find it is really helping.
It's been hell most of my life. I'm 21 now. I have C-PTSD, DID, and Aspergers. There's been many times I wanted to call it quits. I'm not going to adjust to life and people anymore, I am living in a way that makes me happy and comfortable.
I think you guys deserve that too.
Please choose to stay and stick around. You deserve to be happy.
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aspergers
|
In less than a year, all of these things happened and piled on top of each other:
- Failed relationship
- Family dog dies
- Dad is caught cheating on my Mom
- Covid-19 Pandemic starts which leaves me working from home and feeling isolated
- Anxiety skyrockets
- Cut my wrists
- Got put into a psychiatric ward surrounded by all these sociopaths, psychopaths, drug addicts and schizophrenics
I had been dealing with awful flashbacks, memories, nightmares, irritability, insomnia, and difficulty concentrating. This has taken a serious toll on both my personal life and my professional life.
I met with a psychologist a couple months ago, and was diagnosed with PTSD. I’ve been doing everything to recover, medications(zoloft), exercise, good nutrition, therapy, writing thoughts down in a journal, meditation, good sleep and cutting down on alcohol consumption.
For the most part, this all has been effective. Not getting nightmares as often, have more energy, I see friends almost every weekend, and work is getting better.
Regardless, there are some days when it still finds a back door and yesterday was one of those days.
I was out at a dance club with friends, and to my surprise, I see the man who I was dating a couple years ago dancing with and kissing another man. I do everything I can to shrug it off and ignore it but eventually, I start having flashbacks, memories and negative emotions flooding my brain. I start hyperventilating, and tears start coming out of my eyes as if I’m reliving the experience all over again.
I feel so bad and ashamed. I ruined my night and I feel as though I ruined everyone else’s night too. It was supposed to be fun and it turned into a fucking shitshow.
To this day, I’m still very disturbed by the fact that I have PTSD. I’m not a veteran, a healthcare worker, or any profession that exposes one to trauma. I understand it can happen to anyone but it’s still disturbing that I have it. And what happened last night was an awful reminder of it.
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ptsd
|
I recently had a video conference with my healthcare provider about a treatment plan for my deteriorating mental health. I spoke about my symptoms (constant hand washing, intrusive thoughts, avoidance, etc.) which pointed to me having OCD. The clinician booked another appointment in November with a psychiatrist to see if I should be prescribed medication, claiming that OCD is hard to treat without medication. This confuses me since I’ve heard the opposite while in this community and while researching OCD. No ERP was mentioned, and I as far as I know, OCD is usually treated sans medication. My therapy sessions have been booked until January.
I find this frustrating since I feel like my healthcare provider is pushing me to take medication so I don’t have to book therapy sessions. I am afraid that they aren’t going to treat me correctly. I am scared. I didn’t know what to expect since I have never done any sort of therapy. I’ve been feeling awful lately, and this recent appointment made me feel worse tbh. I don’t know what to do, but I really need to do something about this damn disease, since it’s affecting my attendance at work.
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OCD
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I'm not sure how to word this.. my "symptoms" have changed and it's really messing with me.
Backstory: I was sexually, verbally, and physically abused by my father. My first recollection of this was around age 6, and it ended at age 14 (I'm 22 now for reference).
I was originally diagnosed with PTSD at 16 following another traumatic event. To cope, I used substances, this was also a tactic used in my abuse to keep me from fighting back. I got clean and sought help at age 18. The therapist I saw only worked with vets and first responders. He used a form of EMDR called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (it's complex but the purpose is to wipe memories and responses to triggers). Obviously I had a lot of emotional turmoil that sat with my trauma so this was only partially helpful. Now I can tell you the story and have no trauma response but the feelings are still very much intact.
To the point: Now I see a different therapist who rediagnosed me with complex-relational PTSD. I have a hard time dealing with my current symptoms. Which are trauma responses and trauma messaging that consist of sexual behavior and self degradation. Very differentfrom my previous, physical responses to triggers or flashbacks. I can recognize that these are unhealthy and that they are a response to my trauma, however, I can't get the thoughts out of my head and have a hard time not acting on them. I.E.- forming unhealthy sexual relationships and thoughts of self harm, self destructive behavior, and a very altered reality regarding my appearance as well as worth (both negatively).
I understand everyone's story is different but has anyone had major changes in their symptoms or how their PTSD is prevalent in their life? I'm very frustrated at the fact I can't trust what my mind is telling me and literally any advice, tips, or even someone who can relate, would be so helpful and appreciated. I do see my therapist weekly but it's different when it is coming from someone with a history 🤍
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ptsd
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Excuse me if this is in the wrong sub or if I’ve improperly used some terminology.
My bf suffers from OCD where he hyper fixates on things he is worried about. He always tries to use logic and reasoning in order to eliminate his worry. He’ll repeat his reasoning over and over again until he’s convinced. Then he’ll ask me to repeat the final list of reasons why his worry is not anything worth worrying over before he finally “removes” the worry.
While he does this it could be as short as 5 minutes and sometimes more than 30. A lot of times even though he “removes” the worry he might bring it up again several times throughout the day and week and the cycle continues.
I try to be patient and support him but honestly sometimes I get incredibly angry. I can hold my anger in when all he is asking are questions that need a simple yes/no but when he asks me to repeat his final list of reasons.. it’s so difficult not to snap at him. Even if I manage to say what he wants to hear I end up angrily lecturing him about how he needs to fix his OCD. My response is not nice and it’s not helpful.
Can anybody offer me some advice? I want to be kind and supportive but my patience and anger management need improving.
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OCD
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I've spent all my life resenting everything and everyone around me for making my life miserable. But it was never anyone's fault. Everything I'm suffering through I have brought upon myself. It's me. I'm the problem.
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depression
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I feel like I have thought about my traumas way too much that now, I feel like I'm doing it just to find an excuse to my negative emotions.
I even try to make myself feel bad by thinking about every detail. It's like "Come on, think about it again and get anxious/depressed already!" I don't know what this is. It's like I'm clinging on them.
Do you ever feel the same way?
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ptsd
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This SUCKS
What is THE POINT
I hung on to hope for many years believing that this crap life is going to get better
But wtf…where’s my silver lining?
GUESS WHAT. That shit doesn’t happen to everyone and apparently my worst fear of having an unfulfilling life has come true.
I’m tired of the bs - Stay positive. Things will get better, just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. Be grateful.
BS. BS. BS.
Fuck the world. I’ve done everything.
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depression
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I can’t afford private therapy so I went through the NHS. The best they could offer me was 30 minute on the phone sessions with an estimated waiting list time of at least 4-5 months. They don’t do ERP or anything like that, more ‘anxiety management’ from what I’ve been told. I’ve accepted that I’m pretty much on my own with this. My self ERP has been going pretty well except for a terror relating to one particular endemic germ that the general population doesn’t seem to worry about. Getting over this has proved to be nearly impossible.
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OCD
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It's been the trigger of my Pure O.
I don't know if I explain it well. But my mind sometimes generates thoughts about thoughts. I once was sleeping with my cat and a intrusive thought appeared. I imagined myself slapping my cat's face several times. Now the thing is that I know and recognize that obviously I'm not going to do this but somehow I' worried that everytime I see my cat that certain thought about slapping his face is going to pop up instantly when I see him. And the worst thing is that it is present in almost every aspect of my life. I have a thought that from now, when I see a person I'm going to imagine them nude and then I try to "see" what I think and then to replace thoughts.
Sorry if I didn't expalin it clear but I think it is a little bit hard to understand.
Any advices? I'm feeling so tired. I've been dealing with these thoughts since the beggining of the pandemic :C
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OCD
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I’ve been depressed since forever, diagnosed since 2013. It’s been bad, not improving, just a little bit better, a little but worse. Haven’t hold a job for a long time. Sometimes the government helps with the income, sometimes I’m just out of work because I can’t take it.
My friend killed himself three weeks ago today, and I found his body at his home. We knew he didn’t feel good. Got him to go to the doctor, get antidepressants. Apparently didn’t work.
And I’m still here, still so sad, still so tired. Still hate work. Still want to die, don’t want to kill my self.
So tired of change not happening. Maybe I’ll try micro dosing or something, I don’t know. Just so tired.
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depression
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As the title says, I am the big brother of an Asperger's Autist.
​
he was diagnosed around the age of 8 and before that i thought he was just a little special and needs more attention. I understand that especially with many impressions it becomes difficult to keep one's emotions under control and not to freak out.
I try as best I can to make it as comfortable as possible.
I would like to know how I can respond to him more (as soon as he wants to)
He loves video games like minecraft or Pokemon (just like me at his age) but otherwise I have really trouble establishing a brotherly relationship.
I want him to know that he can speak to me about it and talk to me about everything.
All I want is that I can help him better in what he goes through every day. I want to be a brother who never lets him down.
Are there any who can help me with the questions? i am aware that it is different from each person to person but there have to be things in general that show an effect.
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aspergers
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So I knew this guy in middle school. While growing up he was a trouble maker and now few years later. After high school I got drunk at a party and I think he knocked me out ( uppercut) because I still fill the wind hitting my chin once I relax . All of my friends been acting weird ever since then. One day my "friends " invited me to hang out and guess what? He was there waiting for me in the car. I didn't remember much the vibes creeping in me telling me it had something to do with him and I was right.
I felt my body so cold and trembled because of how dark the feeling was. He'll stalk my house with a truck and blow his horn while driving by. One day he came by and I pushed aside my petty pride and so he's doing. It seem karma caught up to him but it didn't stop him . He believes he's a thug or something and he does sell stuff like that what I heard from people but I don't get to involve in that . Anyway he wanted to sneak in the movie theater. Ya know.. Instead of being a responsible adult and paying for it. I of course didn't get in the car because it seems he's aware the awkwardness and tension between us.
But of course that didn't stop him. One day I came home and found big load of garbage in my trash bin. So instantly my intuition told me it was them and looking at the evidence. It was alcohol , cigarettes, swisher's, beef jerky and sweet tea. Lol so that was clearly obvious it was him and his goons. So yeah I got a no soliciting sign and that seem to do the trick . Couple days later I went for a mid night walk and it appears to be a white truck. Now that's what kind of truck he drives but for me. I'm thinking anyone could be driving a white truck. The truck circles my home and when the "driver" saw me he made this unusual turn. Like it look like his tire blew out but I felt like he was drunk and anxious. He circles my house again to see if it was me and I was chilling staring at them. He then drives away but with a loud ass noise a truck makes when you step your full foot on the pedal.
So after being patient I decided after this Corona Virus thing dies down I'd pay a visit to the court house to fill out a restraining order. I looked up his records and he's supposedly driving illegally since his license is suppressed and resist arrest. What shall I do know? I'm 90% for sure about restraining order but will that truly make me safe??
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ptsd
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Does anyone else have issues with clothing tags and sometimes even seams in clothing ..
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aspergers
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ocd is so transparent in the way it tries to shift from thing to thing to make me panic it sometimes just ends up making me laugh. i’ve been anxious and panicking all night thinking about past friendships, wondering if i’ve done any harm to them, etc. I’m winding down from that anxiety and my brain tells me, “remember those boys on your street you used to hang out with when you were like 9? they used to say homophobic things and you didn’t stop them. you’re such a coward.” it made me laugh out loud because 1) i don’t think that’s even true/happened, despite what my false memories tell me and 2) what impact does that have on anything now? it’s just interesting occasionally being in the frame of mind to be able to witness your ocd shifting and scrambling to come up with something to create panic and guilt and can be weirdly funny.
anyone else ever get this?
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OCD
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I’ve experienced this a decent amount of times in my life where certain individuals think I have a problem with them just because I don’t communicate with them the way they desire me to. When I’m around people I don’t really feel comfortable with , I’m usually quiet ,and if I end up having to speak, I keep discussion minimal because my social anxiety can be very overwhelming and over stimulating. It might have seemed a few times that I intentionally avoided and ignored people which is probably why they take it personal. This all just creates unnecessary tension that I don’t need in my life and having Aspergers just makes it really draining. The worst thing I think I’ve done in scenarios like this is not responding back to people who greet me or even compliment me because walking away and not saying anything is much more comfortable than finishing the interaction. Overall I’ve just been misunderstood and have even been insulted before for being the way I am. I just posted this here to see if anybody else experiences this.
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aspergers
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Just full out stressed. My body feels super hot and tired and exhausted I can’t even think or speak I’m not sure what exactly what I want I’m stressed about so many things that I’m not even sure what to be stressed about right now. I was I had full relaxation so I can keep my mind at ease. I need something to ease my brain my body feels like it will break down at any moment and my heart just raced so fast I feel like it’s going to explode. I’m so so exhausted let me rest please just let me rest.
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depression
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When I act like myself people don’t like me. When I act more likeable people can tell I’m being fake. I just don’t get excited n shit. Yet, loneliness fuels my depression. To seem more interesting, I need friends, but to have friends I need to be more intresting.
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depression
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ok i just recently found out that i’m addicted to porn & when you are addicted to it , it puts an illusion onto your sexuality but with a person with ocd you can develop hocd and stuff like that different things , now i’ve recently read something on reddit about a guy who had a porn addiction & actually killed himself because authorities found out he was watching child pornography ! now i never watched such a thing to get off on BUT ever since i read that i’m having intrusive thoughts telling me if you relapse on porn eventually your addiction will grow into that & a mental image of me getting off to it is playing in my head & it’s driving me absolutely insane , because the thoughts are so convincing & they have said that ppl who are addicted to porn tend to develop nastier fetishes , now i’ve never gone that far but i keep imagining it & im disgusted with my self , i keep telling myself i don’t wanna do that i don’t wanna do that ,but it’s like my brain is telling me yes you do because i have a porn addiction , is this my ocd ? or is this who i am ! i’m going crazyyyyyyy !!!
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OCD
|
Hi there
I got my ADHD diagnosis last Wednesday and it opens my eyes. After long years of trying and troubles, I know, Why I am like this and helps me a bit to understand me.
But now, I could cry. The reason is I have a lot going on:
One reason is that I have an hourly wage employment contract (I really had a hard time to find a normal workplace…) and some things are not perfect(I mean nobody is perfect). My partner told me I should mention this thing: Like mask on work place, My days at work or when I got a fulltime position etc.
The are really reasonable things, but I can‘t communicate this. Mainly I am really afraid, that I would get scold or fired…
Some other reason are Christmas is near, I should do some cleaning, doing groceries list etc.
It‘s just, every time when I have so much around, I feel overwhelmed and my emotions are like a roller coaster. Then I also feel so tired and restless. The problem thing is, I am feeling still like on the run and I needed to this thing as soon a possible or instant.
Now, I want to ask: How are you coping with stress ? Because these situations makes me always so tired…
Also sorry for that vent. I really don‘t want bother someone.
Edit: Corrected some grammar mistakes.
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ADHD
|
(Sorry for bad english)I'm a teenager I have just been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety.
I don't have friends,all my life I argued with my mom because I was always afraid of what she'd tell me.
If she told me and my sister that we'll end up single because we cannot love anyone (when we were arguing)my sister would shut up and continue being grumpy but I would start giving reasons and argue with her to change her mind.
I hate talking to my mom.I just have so many stereotypes in my head from what she'd tell me, I expect my life to be horrible and that I will not fit in with people and nobody will care about me and life will be hard as hell.I just want to dessapear.I belive all that she tells me even tho I hate it.
And I also take life decissions for things that will happen years later in my life and it annoys me because it's not what I want in my future at all.
Like decide that I will never have a relationship in my life ,never ,even tho I'm really upset about it ,even tho I'm not even scared of getting hurt. I want to be like everyone else but I'm just too afraid.
My mom calls this a bad temper but I just can't deal with it.I also feel sometimes that someone is judging my toughts and I have to clarify all of them.
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OCD
|
guys i need advice really bad, me (f15)and my boyfriend (m14)started dating about eight months back, we are each other first ever boyfriend and girlfriend.
recently i got really bad ROCD, and started taking medication for it. i also suffer with severe anxiety
there was only one time that i don’t remember clearly (it was about two months ago) but i was joking around and he shoved me, i got upset and i started crying, but i never got scared of him, as soon as he realised that it had upset me he came and apologised repeatedly and i completely forgot about it!
but ssomething happened a few days ago where we were jokingly having an argument and getting in each other’s face and he pushed my face and said “get out my fucking face” he said to me that he was joking and he promised me, which he never ever lies to me about, our friend was there and said that he is like that with him so he was just joking with me like he usually does with him.
we are quite rough with each other and we don’t have many boundaries, do you think i should set some in place? because i know that if i talk to him about some he would completely understand.
please note that he’d never purposely hurt me, and when he pushed it was not to hurt me, we usually play around and push each other like that quite a lot.
tl;dr my bf pushed me but i dont think it was malicious
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OCD
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I have an ongoing project that's been a source of entertainment, joy, and self expression for most of my life. One key aspect is so unrealistic it's distracting. But if I fix it, it ruins other parts. I don't intend to show it to anyone so should I just let that one thing slide? Not being able to do one of my favorite things is stressing me out. Which is bad because that's the thing I work on to relieve stress. I'm too emotional about it to come to a conclusion, it's just a feedback loop of frustrated annoyance.
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aspergers
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My son's only 7 and his energy levels are crazy.. diagnosed ADHD and does take meds for school. Just wanted to say I regularly read your posts to understand his mindset a bit and get inside his struggles. All your comments and venting help me a lot. Hugs/love/caring... Whatever it is internet brings us? Thank you from a largely silent reader.
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ADHD
|
They fucking turn my internet off at 9pm. Then turn it back on at 1pm the next afternoon. Isn't that swell? It's fucking stupid is what it is. My mother says it's "to help wigh my mental health" but it honestly just fucking makes it worse. Idk about other people but evenings are *awful* for my depression. Like the absolute worst time of day for me. I really enjoy(ed) being able to hope on with friends and play some video games or even just watch YouTube until late and then go to sleep. But of course I can't do that anymore. Instead I'm supposed to what, lay in my bed and be stuck with my constant thoughts of depression and suic1de? Not being able to hang with friends and chat with them in the evening sucks so much and doesn't help with my mental health at all. But of course mom doesn't seem to think so after all she's àght and I'm younger so I must be wrong, right? 🙃
I have nothing. No job, because the last time I got one I had a severe panic attack after I got home from just one shift and quit the next day.
No license, because I'm to anxious to drive.
Nothing. All of my 2 friends and online friends who live in another country so I can only talk with them *with the internet*. Everyone I physically knew in life from school and whatnot has moved on and couldn't care less of my existence.
What should I do? What should I say to my stubborn af mother? I need help. I honestly dont see a future for myself. I know that from what you read this seems probably very petty and small but I swear this had been going on for sj many years and I can't take it anymore. I went through therapy but after like 6 appointments my mom canceled it because we ran out of benefits and that was it. I got signed up to some free therapy but it just seemed so much worse. I haven't tried online therapy yet but from what I have read from other people it often isn't very good.
Idk what to do. I just need help.
Thanks for reading this far I guess if you did, and letting me vent.
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depression
|
(31M/accountant) I got back with my ex. I found out she's been with two other guys. I found out who they are and now can't stop comparing they are really cool dudes. and making endless scenarios in my head trying to establish timelines. Like was she speaking to them before we broke up it really makes me feel like less i hate it but i dont want to brake up im scared of being without her. All i can think of is geting to their "level".
Today i also found out i didnt pass my second cpa exam, i studied a lot and i havent told my family im so ashamed. I am isolating hard, i havent answered my clients calls this is going to affect our relationship and potentially their businesses.
Tomorrow is my first day on a very important job, one that will finally allow me to get my finances straight. I need to be on my A game yet i cant beleive im depressive 24 hours out. I feel like im spiraling out of control. I know These mini drepressions do end in a week or less but they always leave havoc behind. I wish i wasnt this cyclical up and down constantly.
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depression
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The way my brain and OCD works is if there's even THE SMALLEST doubt that something COULD have happened, then it MUST have happened.
Does anyone else think this way?
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OCD
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I keep having intrusive thoughts and ruminations, about not being about to talk to people, even though I also think I'm the most talkative person aswell, I think its cause I have nothing new to talk about or no friends to talk to. But when I watch tv or read a book I'm kinda like "I dont think o can keep up with conversations like that" or that im bad at it. I do know I don't have a broad vocabulary cause when I was younger I had behavioral problems and couldn't sit still in class long enough to learn big words, or there is sometimes where I know what I want to say but it's like it's on the tip of my tounge but I have to reroute my words to try and make a new sentence to get what I want to say out but with different words I'd that makes sense. Idk if it does. Or I might be saying it right but I think I'm not.
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OCD
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I have not been diagnosed with ADHD but I feel I have it. I struggle with forgetting/misplacing things, retaining information due to short attention span, and depression/anxiety attacks.
I have cried twice today and I don’t know what’s wrong. Something doesn’t feel right and I can’t figure what it is. I am a goal oriented person but can’t commit to deadlines and that stresses me out.
I have horrible dreams about loved ones dying and my boyfriend told me last night that I usually wake up in the middle of the night saying “I have made mistake”
I don’t know what to do. I feel awful and hopeless… maybe medication would work? Do I have ADHD? I can’t concentrate at doing anything and end up scrolling Instagram for hours which makes me even more miserable… then I compare myself to other and get jealous about their life even when I know that is not okay.
Help please. I feel in a hole.
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ADHD
|
I lost most of my friends and I just have no will to make friends and socialize. I don’t think I can relate to anyone anymore or will they ever understand me. Everything people talk about seem so pointless and first world problem-y. I just can’t socialize or have the patience to, I just prefer being alone. People annoy me a lot. But I picture my ideal life with few good friends and a meaningful partner. So it’s like a bit of a paradox.
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ptsd
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Some of you may have already tried this, but here's a little backstory. All of my life I've struggled with mornings. I've been late to very important things or slept through them entirely. I'm honestly lucky in some cases that I haven't lost jobs or failed classes because of it. As a result, mornings and waking up have become a huge stress point for me. I'm pretty sure the difficulty with getting out of bed is related to my ADHD.
Well today I tried taking my medicine (I take extended release methylphenidate, aka Ritalin) when my FIRST alarm woke me up. Normally, I'll snooze and turn off a half dozen alarms before I actually get up. But today, by the time my second or third alarm was going off, my medicine was kicking in and here I am at 8:50am about to start my day!!
Context: I work from home now so it's easy to sloth through the first part of the day and not really start my day until 9:30 or 10... Or later...
Hopefully someone out there hasn't heard of this trick and it's helpful to them! 😬❤️
Edit: obviously talk to your doctor before you change how/when you take your meds.
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ADHD
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i'm so tired of symptoms associated with trauma. there's so much and it's gone on for years so i feel like i'm never going to process it properly and live a normal life.
any words of hope appreciated i'm having a bad day :(
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ptsd
|
Very descriptive title, I know. Does group therapy help and can I get officially diagnosed there? I think I'd prefer it but I don't know anything about it other than wht I learned in The Fault In Our Stars and maybe some other B-list books
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OCD
|
I am a monster. I am in treatment for OCD for 1.5 months now. But I have days where my bad side still shows up. I am a medical student. 21F. Today I was in the OT and we were wearing scrubs. The scrubs were low necked. We were all standing close to each other and I noticed that my arm nudged someone's boob. I didnt make a big deal cuz we were crowding. However I apologized. Then it nudged someone else's boob. I apologized. She said "its ok". Then I thought I am a monster cuz such things dont happen by mistake. Then everytime I went closer I would hope my boob would touch their arm or shoulder to see their reaction. I would also stare at others to see if this was happening. Idk I was filled with so much anxiety. I kinda molested them didn't I?
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OCD
|
I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but I can relate to all the symptoms. One of my biggest struggles is focusing; I can't think for too long for wxample while playing chess if i kept thinking more than 3 moves I don't seem to keep my focus and might forget the moves, also i make lots of obvious/stupid mistakes in my assignments that I don't realise until someone spots the mistake. I will be glad if someone can gove me am advice for how to focus. (No meds plz :' )
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ADHD
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Anyone else get rumination issues with torrectic OCD? Like the compulsion starts with a physical urge, but then I can't stop thinking about how to stop it.
​
My OCD normally revolves around dangerous things (ie touching fire, walking to close a steep ledge etc) which scares me. There is no initial bad consequence in my mind, just some weird urge to do something risky. Most minor ocd things are easy for me to overcome, but when I get one that I consider serious, I get stuck in this loop debating how to approach the problem. I constantly debate if I should just do the thing and get it over with, or fight it and not do the compulsion at all.
Maybe if I just do it, it will go away. I have actually had this work a hand full of times. Problem is, like I said, some of my compulsions are risky for me to do. So I have this huge urge to test my theory, but that would also be putting me at risk of self harm.
Recently I learned that part of the treatment of OCD is not giving into compulsions but this debating im doing in my mind is making it really hard. I'm a pretty strong willed person too. So far I'm on day 6 of not giving into it and its driving me crazy.
If anyone can relate or has advise, it might just be the boost I need to overcome this. I'm very tenacious and can normally overcome most of my issues, it's just that fighting OCD is very different from other problems I've experienced, so a little feedback will help I think.
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OCD
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Quick update - ketamine therapy has changed my life and I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for ptsd after six sessions at Field Trip Health.
I’m so happy this drug got approved in Canada for the treatment of depression and ptsd because honestly it just gave my brain the opportunity to engage in neuroplasticity to interrupt the scary and negative thought patterns that were intruding on my every day life.
Highly recommend because it lets you revisit traumatic memories in a relaxed mental state where you can still feel sad but where your sympathetic nervous system can’t enable panic mode so you can process the memories and acknowledge them and just move on instead of having them get stuck on repeat and cause chaos
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ptsd
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Does anyone else hesitate when a doctor asks “do you have thoughts of harming yourself or others?”
I feel like I’m lying when I say no, but I know they mean intentionally and with actually urge to do so.
Anyone else experience this or know how to deal with it?
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OCD
|
I normally wouldn’t post this on Reddit, but this community is mad accepting and I need to get this off my chest. I love my parents and I think they worked hard to be good role models, but I can’t help but think about the ways in which I’m stuck dealing with learning and unlearning because of my childhood undiagnosed ADHD.
I’m 22 years old and a woman and I’m furious. My early childhood was really stressful because I was such a bad kid. When I was 4-7 my parents and I had an extremely contentious relationship. I threw tantrums frequently and was awful at regulating my emotions. My dad would yell at me for having no self-control and threaten to take me to a doctor if I didn’t stop acting like this. I couldn’t understand how other kids didn’t want to argue or yell back or scream or kick my door till I left marks or hit my sister. I really internalized that thought that I don’t have self control and it ate away at me.
Luckily these “bad behaviors” didn’t manifest in school at all. I loved learning and was very passionate about it. I did my homework every morning a half hour before walking to school because I knew it wouldn’t take long and I was an excellent bull-shitter. I got great grades and great standardized test scores and was considered gifted. My sister was the opposite. She really struggled in school and could not focus. They took her in to get tested and she had ADHD-I (ADD at the time) and they tried medication for like a week, but were reluctant to continue because my mom (a nurse) is wary of medication like that.
In high school things started to change. I could no longer wait until the last minute and my grades suffered as a result. Every teacher and my parents were so disappointed in me because I should have been getting A’s. I had so much “wasted potential.” I begged my parents to let me go to a therapist because I had so much anxiety, especially after I was hanging out with friends. It took a year of convincing and a lot of financial shaming, but eventually they let me go. The therapist did work with me on anxiety but she remarked that it was a bit strange that my anxiety occurred after being around people and not before.
I got by enough to get into my home state university, but flunked my second semester to the point that I was almost in a complete state of depersonalization. I got on antidepressants at this point and continued college doing a little better, but still struggling to force myself to do anything.
I worked during college to pay what wasn’t covered by loans, because I didn’t qualify for aid or scholarships and didn’t have any help from my parents. I really liked my job as a unit coordinator at a children’s hospital. Interacting with kids was so fun and I thought I was doing well. When I got my review back at the end of my first year I was somewhat shocked. “She is a delightful face to see on the unit and her demeanor is excellent, but she gets distracted easily and forgets tasks assigned to her.” I had a moment of realizing that my forgetfulness must be more than most otherwise they wouldn’t mention it.
I began asking people close to me if I was more forgetful than others and began researching adhd. Interrupting, forgetting, disorganized, poor motivational salience. All of these were so true to the core of my being, and my friends agreed. My mom always grew so sick of my horrific time management. But I did good in school? I could focus easily on painting for hours and if the lecture was interesting I was a perfect student. I was never staring out the window or tapping my fingers. I was biting my nails and picking my face though. I was assessing everyone’s outfits during class.
Long story short I was finally diagnosed last spring and medication makes me feel like I finally have some control in my life. I’ve even come to realize that my dad and my grandmother also likely have adhd.
But now I’m pissed! So much of my life I was told I had no self control and that it was a personality issue. She’s so hardheaded they’d say. Who tf am I? Why do I have to figure this out now and why didn’t my parents actually do something besides blame me my whole life? I want to have a good relationship with them because they genuinely are good people, but I’m so frustrated and I need them to know that they failed me in that way. They also seem to brush off my mentioning of ADHD and don’t think I should be medicated. It’s so much work to navigate my identity and the world while also having to teach myself how to be an adult. Arghhhhhh
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ADHD
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Hey guys! I wanted to talk about one of my special interests which is learning languages.
I am fluent in Russian, Kazakh, English, Polish (polish is the weakest one). Not quite a lot for a person whose special interest is learning languages, but I hope numbers are yet to grow.
I am from Kazakhstan and learning english was quite a lifechanger for me. It's just like I entered a whole new universe. Also I love that you guys different accents which helped me to delve into different cultures and communites. First accent I hyperfixated on was American accent. I don't know I just remember the moment Conan O'Brien talk on his show and I really loved his voice and I am like: - wow them guys just took british english and made it sound so much better.
English also helped me to to study abroad. In 2019 I dropped out of my local colledge and entered university in Poland and that's why I had to learn Polish tough I hated it (I just realised I love english itself more than learning languages). But unfortunately I am staying back in my hometown due to COVID.
New language I am trying to learn nowadays is German. German feels a little bit similar to English in terms of structure and I am hoping to learn this one too. But it's been two months now since starting to learn the language I don't feel a lot of progress. It's almost like my learning rate has been deteriorated. Anyone feel like this? Also I tried to learn coding against my will hoping to get a job that is more or less suited for aspies, but it just doesn't stick. I feel like I lack the logic that is needed to understand programming stuff.
So as you can see I am trying my best to uitlise my aspie traits to win in life, but we'll see, I don't know nothing yet, I am 21 years old and I am optimistic.
Oh crap I just realised I went off the topic, I was just writing what's popping to my mind. Please leave your opinions on languages and you strategies in life.
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aspergers
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tl;dr i struggle with noise sensitivity and i don't think my therapist understands it
i'm a freshman in college & have had an ADHD diagnosis for about 5 months, but i'd known/suspected i had it for a few years. one of my biggest issues has always been noise sensitivity. before i get into this, i am indeed aware of what misophonia is, but i'm not really looking for a label for my issues, if that makes sense?
since childhood i have always really, really struggled with eating noises. they make me want to shrivel up and pull at my hair and cry. they fill me with disgust and rage unlike just about anything else i've encountered, but i've known this about myself and have mostly gotten away with it by griping at siblings about chewing with their mouths closed.
at home, i had the luxury of my own room, my own quiet space. this meant i was mostly free from constant sound and distraction at home. since coming to school, i have discovered a new personal hell: big lectures and having a roommate. i'll start with the lectures.
one of my classes is a lecture of about 300-500 people. other people having whispered conversations makes it extremely difficult for me to focus. even if i can't exactly make out what's being said in the side conversations, they're all i can focus on. i cannot tune them out. my solution to this has been to use loop earplugs, so i can hear the professor over the speakers but can dull out the noise of the people chattering around me. the lecture thing is easy enough for me to cope with.
next is..the roommate thing. my roommate likes to have long, sporadic facetime calls with her family. every day. she does not tell me she is going to be on the phone and will just hop onto an hour-long facetime while we are both in the room, often while i am working. i cannot tune her out. she talks loudly, even with her airpods in. usually she speaks in a language i don't speak, so it's not even that i can understand her and am tracking with her conversation. i just cannot tune out the noise. my solution to this has been to leave the room or blast music in my noise-cancelling headphones.
she also talks to herself while she works. it's pretty constant and at a normal speaking level. whatever, i leave or use my headphones. it's annoying, but in the long run whatever, not a huge deal. i cope.
my roommate also tends to stay up very late doing homework. sometimes i'm up just as late as her, but other nights i go to sleep before she does, and it becomes a bit of a problem. some nights i can mostly tune out the sounds of her keyboard and can go to sleep pretty quickly. as soon as she starts eating chips or talking to herself, there's no hope for me. i don't even try to sleep at that point. one night at 2 am, i was trying to go to bed while she was doing homework and eating chips. i just laid in my bed and cried. then i hid in the bathroom and cried. her desk is right across from my bed and all i could hear were the chewing noises. it was absolutely awful.
i am getting increasingly annoyed with my roommate. the constant barrage of noise is frustrating and makes it almost impossible for me to think. i am mostly frustrated with my inability to tune out the noise, but it has slowly morphed into an annoyance with her, which is hard for me. i don't want to be mad at her. i feel bad. usually she's not being unreasonable (i won't lie, the phone call thing feels rude, my noise sensitivity notwithstanding lol) and things like eating or speaking under her breath shouldn't warrant a full-blown internal freakout from me. to combat this i have an arsenal of airpods, loop earplugs, and noise-cancelling headphones, and often just won't work in my room, or will get up and leave to work elsewhere.
here's where the therapist comes in. she understands my frustration with people talking in class. she reasons that it's irresponsible and rude of those people, so of course i'd be annoyed. she does not, however, seem to approve of my constant leaving of my room or tuning out the music. she says i am being "avoidant." i am indeed being avoidant. why would i suffer through sounds i know are difficult for me when i have the ability to leave or put on headphones?
strategies i have been given are basically just mindfulness activities. she says they come with practice, but they aren't helping me. one strategy is to pick a seemingly mundane thing in my surroundings, and take the time to observe everything i can about it and assign it meaning. it's supposed to help me calm down and refocus. i appreciate the sentiment, but it is a wee bit difficult to focus on whatever object when i can't tune out the sound of my roommate's verbal play-by-play of her chemistry homework.
my therapist's next suggestion was to stop thinking emotionally about the sounds that are bothering me. say, for instance, my roommate is on the phone and i am watching a show. i can acknowledge that she is on the phone, but i can also tell myself that it has nothing to do with me and therefore don't need to have any emotional investment in it. great, but i don't care that she's on the phone, i'm emotionally invested in the fact that i cannot focus on anything except the sound of her voice. she is allowed to talk on the phone, i do not care if she talks on the phone; my annoyance lies in my inability to ignore her. i'm not choosing to listen to her and be annoyed, i don't think? i literally can't tune her out. my brain won't let me—that's what annoys me!
i am just. at a loss here. i feel unreasonably annoyed at both my roommate and my therapist. i hate that sounds make me so, so angry. but also i'm sad. i just want to be able to sit in my room and not care about what my roommate is doing, or at least be allowed to use my headphones or leave the room. i feel like my therapist is telling me i just need to learn to live with the noises, but i don't want to. and then i feel like i'm being resistant. is there anything wrong with being "avoidant?" i don't think i can come to peace with the sounds like my therapist seems to think i should. maybe that makes me terrible or something but i just. i can't just decide they aren't worth my time. i can't just tune them out. they're all i can hear.
i'm going to try and re-explain my issue to my therapist again at my next session, but i'm already not looking forward to it. i felt like i explained it well enough in previous sessions, but maybe i didn't. trying to give her the benefit of the doubt here.
this has turned long and rambly. i think it's somewhere between a rant and a really vague question about what the heck i should be doing? agh. i'm just struggling a lot with this. :(
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ADHD
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Does anyone else have things you feel must be done a certain way specifically because someone told you it needed to be that way, and then your mind made it a "rule"?
Some examples would be always needing to wash any produce with soap before using them, never microwaving anything in plastic containers, chewing with your mouth closed, and always brushing your teeth extremely well.
Even though I understand that many people don't do these things and experience little to no negative consequences, it feels like a law of the universe has been broken when these conditions aren't met, and it upsets me more than it probably should.
(Please let me know if this isn't the correct place to post this)
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OCD
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Though I haven't been diagnosed yet, it is relieving. My psychiatrist said "I think it very likely that Rich may have several comorbid disorders." and "I also consider ADHD to be a veritable possibility". I wasn't just lazy etc.
This is the report anonymised:
> Dear Doctor
> It was my pleasure to meet Rich today as crisis psychiatrist. We were accompanied by Mental Health Support Worker Psychiatrist2.
> Rich is a 25-year-old university student with a history of suicidal ideation, depression, and anxiety. He was seen by crisis team over the weekend stating that he had suicidal thoughts with a plan to drown himself. He said that fear of dying was keeping him from acting on this. When assessed by ABC, he said that wanted to be evaluated for ADHD. He was scheduled to see me today in a crisis slot regarding the suicidal ideation.
> Today, Rich denied any thoughts or feelings of suicidal ideation. He says that this is something that comes and goes depending on triggers. He said that he felt better after speaking to crisis team yesterday. Rich said that he had posted in a forum online recently and someone suggested, based on his post, that he had ADHD. Other than this, he said, “In general, I feel like a disaster and a failure.”
> It was important to Rich that I know the contents of his online post. He read it to me from his phone and key points are as follows:
> * “I didn’t do well in high school. I couldn’t concentrate, so I didn’t do well and I frequently got into trouble.”
>* “At 15, my mum pushed me to drop out and go to community college.”
> * “My high school really promotes going to university…”
> * “I thought public school, but for some reason mum became hostile whenever I brought this up. I kept pushing. Eventually I did go to public school, but I ruminated on [the way my mum felt about it] a lot.”
> * “I finished high school with not enough to go to university. I started to feel depression and have suicidal thoughts [more intensely than ever before.]” He says that the emphasis private school placed on University contributed to this.
> ** “At the same time, mum pushed me to get off of antidepressants.” He says that this was hurtful to him.
>* “My parents convinced me to do an art course at community school, but I left it. Then I left to go to do pre-uni work at university, but I was hurtful to others there and caused drama. I always apologised, but I would spend time feeling bad about it and then I would do it again. It was almost like this obsessive compulsion.”
> ** “At university I failed the second semester twice. But then I turned 20 and anyone can go to Uni at 20, so I went to another university.
>* At university: “At 21, I started a computer science degree. But I cheated and copied things from online a lot. I organised this Ted Talk forum and I spent more time on that than on my studies. I got depression and dropped out.”
>* “I spent the next year on a benefit and could hardly get out of bed all that years. After that, WINZ told me I needed to work or study so I got a job in a supermarket. When I lose focus, I start talking to myself and people at work noticed and bullied me. When I do that thing where I talk to myself, I don’t feel like I can switch it off. Eventually I did have a plan to end my life.” He did not go through with this plan. (See more below under “psychiatric history.”)
>* He said that during the year when he didn’t work or study/ was on the benefit, he was not in contact with his mother.
>* Then I had a job doing door-to-door sales for a few weeks. Then I did a year of Uni online. I’m in my second year now. But I’m not sure if I should carry on because I cheated that first year. I’m like, ‘Should I start over? Can I be bothered?’”
>After Rich had finished reading this to me, he thanked me for listening. He said that he had also written down a list of traits that he thought I should know. They are as follows:
>* “In year 8, I was put down a grade in maths.
>* “I didn’t pay attention in school.”
>* “In early high school, my parents noticed a drop in my work ethic.”
>* “I struggled to socialize. I didn’t know how.”
>* “In conversations, I spoke in the way people speak on social media. I didn’t really realise that you speak to people differently in real life.”
>* “I get these really obsessive thoughts. Like you know…YouTube personalities? Even if they’ve gone quiet for years, I’ll check up on them years later to see what they’re up to.”
>* “I talk to myself. When it happens, I want to stop but can’t.”
>* “I was described as weird growing up.”
>I spoke with Rich’s parents on the phone with his permission, in order to go through an ASRS-v1.1 with them, the results of which are below. (He asked me not to share the other things that we discussed today with them.) Some information from his parents: his mother said that it was never his impression that he had ADHD. “What I can say about Rich is that he’s always been a square peg in a round hole. But our biggest concern is that he talks to himself constantly. The talking gets quite heated and he gets wound up. It’s like he knows we can hear him but he seems surprised that we can hear him when we say something to him about it. It’s all the time.” Rich’s dad: “Even when he thinks he’s not talking to himself, he’s whispering. It’s outside, it’s inside. It’s getting to a point where he can’t stop it.” They say that this has been going on for the last couple of years. It may have been going on longer, but there was a time when Rich was away studying when he was not in touch with his parents.
>Substance Use History: When I asked Rich about substance use, he said, “I’ve never been interested in drugs or alcohol. I should say that I don’t feel the urge to seek out music or movies. When I watch movies, my mind is always on other things. Also—I don’t look up porn.
>Psychiatric Review of Symptoms:
>DEPRESSION: He endorses a history of depression, feeling of worthlessness, suicidal thoughts. He told ABC that on a daily basis he has thoughts of suicide, because he frequently has thoughts like, “I’m a fuckup. A failure.” He feels that he has “failed” at life and is behind where he should be in life
>MANIA: Not elicited.
>ANXIETY: He reports, “I ruminate a lot on experiences that I’ve had in the past.”
>AD(H)D: Tests attached
>BORDERLINE PD: Not elicited.
>PSYCHOSIS: Not elicited.
>Psychiatric History: Rich has never seen a psychiatrist before. He reports that he was prescribed citalopram years ago and took it for about 18 months. I asked if it helped. “Not really, no. I don’t remember.” He reports that he was taking both venlafaxine and risperidone while at university. “I don’t feel that they helped.”
>Previous suicide attempts:
>* In 2019, Rich booked out a hotel room with a plan to end his life. He had bought some chemicals on the internet that he was planning to use. He apparently had his laptop in front of him with messages pre-written to his friends. He also had some medications to prevent nausea from the chemicals. He did not go through with this, citing his fear of death from stopping him.
>* A few months later, also in 2019, he bought chemicals from Bunnings that would apparently create a lethal gas when combined. He went to an isolated area with a tent. He again aborted this attempt out of fear of death.
>Rich also reports that he went to see you about two weeks ago and scored high for depression and anxiety on rating scales. He said that you referred him to a psychologist.
>Medical History:
>Allergies: NKDA
>Medical: Denies
>Surgical: Denies
>Current Medications: Denies
>Social History: Additional information to that which Rich outlined above: he has an older brother and a sister. He has a good friend named Joseph who has been his friend throughout school. Relationships: he said that he had a partner during his last three years of high school and a few other casual relationships here and there.
>History of Abuse: He denied a history of physical or sexual abuse, “I would consider a lot of what I experienced growing up as emotional abuse.”
>Legal Issues: Denies
>Family History: He denies a family history of attempted or completed suicides.
>Mental Status Exam: Rich had appropriate grooming and hygiene and was pleasant, cooperative and polite. He seemed fidgety and somewhat restless. He had appropriate eye contact. His speech as somewhat monotone in quality but was otherwise normal in rate, volume and clarity. His thought process was notably circumstantial and was very continuous—he rarely paused to let me say anything or respond to what he had said. At one point he picked his nose in front of psychiatrist2 and me. He endorsed depression. He denied any current suicidal ideation but said that this can change from day to day depending on triggers. There was no evidence of psychosis. There was no evidence of any urge to harm others.
>Assessment/Plan: This is a 25-year-old gentleman who describes a history defined by years of social and occupational difficulty. His mother’s description of him as a “square peg in a round hole”, his descriptions of social difficulties, his social oddities in our interview (picking his nose), as well as his mother’s report of always having to line things up and move things around are reminiscent of the social and stereotypical behaviours seen in Autism Spectrum Disorder. While I am not confident in making a diagnosis of such after having met with Rich once, I do feel that, given Rich’s frustrations with his self-perceived failures in life, and his depression in relation to such, this should be explored further with neuropsychological testing. I will therefore request a referral to the Psychology Service for consideration of this.
>I also consider ADHD to be a veritable possibility in Rich’s case given his ASRS score and the way that he presented during our interview. This could also account for his history of doing something different just about every year of his life since his teens. Failure to treat an existing ADHD could mean a future that is similar to this which in turn would feedback into his depression. I am hopeful that his neuropsychological testing can illuminate this further as well. I considered prescribing Rich a stimulant now but as I will be referring him to the North Mental Health team, which will mean the establishment of care under a new psychiatrist, I have decided to defer to said psychiatrist who will be able to appreciate Rich’s “before and after” presentation in relation to stimulant therapy. This will also give opportunity for a second opinion in this area.
>It is also possible that Rich has both ADHD and ASD. An estimated 28% of individuals with ASD have comorbid ADHD.
>Rich may also have an underlying depressive disorder. However, it may be that many of Rich’s depressive symptoms resolve if indeed he has ADHD and if this is treated appropriately.
>Finally, when it comes to Rich’s talking to himself: I think this may possibly represent the stereotypical behaviours/ social difficulties that are part of ASD. However, Rich also reports that the self-talk can seem compulsive in nature, like he can’t stop it. It is possible that it has to do with an anxiety disorder. This will also need further exploration and clarification.
>I think it very likely that Rich may have several comorbid disorders. The following quote from a 2019 Lancet article seems to describe Rich and his own years-long experiencing with “impairments in adaptive functioning” :
>“For people with autism, having co-occurring mental health conditions increases the possibility of worse long-term outcomes, 8 9 10 11 including increased mortality risk. 12 For instance, co-occurrence of autism and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is associated with greater impairments in adaptive functioning, health-related quality of life, and executive functioning than having autism alone. 13 14 15 16 Similarly, co-occurring anxiety in individuals with autism amplifies autistic symptoms, including social impairments, 17 18 19 sensory features, and repetitive behaviours, 19 20 21 22 and might be associated with the development of depression, 23 24 contributing to increased risk of suicide and early mortality. 25 Aggression, self-injury, and oppositional behaviour might also begin or increase with the onset of depression. 26 Autism diagnoses are also associated with increased risk of severe mental illnesses, including psychosis spectrum and bipolar spectrum disorders. 27 Co-occurring mental health conditions in autism tend to persist from childhood into adolescence, 28 and the prevalence of co-occurring psychopathology increases in adults with autism, 29 contributing to substantial long-term negative effects on health and quality of life.”
>Lancet Psychiatry, The, 2019-10-01, Volume 6, Issue 10, Pages 819-829
>With regards to Rich’s suicide risk: he reports that this fluctuates from day to day. His risk factors include male gender, and self-reported suicidal ideation. Protective factors: no prior suicide attempts, no family history of suicide, absence of substance use, absence of psychosis. I consider his protective factors to outweigh his risk factors and therefore consider treatment in the community to be appropriate. He has shown that he is comfortable ringing the crisis team when he is in distress, and I have urged him to do this again in future if his suicidal ideation recurs or increases.
>I will otherwise refer Rich for follow-up as outlined above and I wish him all the best.
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aspergers
|
I have been struggling with anxiety and panic disorder severely for the last 7 years. I have been given medications for depression and anxiety that did not help the out-of-control anxiety emotions and panic attacks. I have always known I had ADHD as a kid because of reports from teachers, my reading struggles, other learning focus setbacks, always getting in trouble for not shutting up or bouncing off the walls even in the early mornings, but I was never really tested for it, until now.
I finally got tested because I have begun reading a lot (over and over and over to retain some of it) about depression and anxiety and their correlation to ADHD.... So my question to you all, has anyone had these emotional rollercoasters with anxiety, panic disorder, and depression that was helped with medication?
I am reaching out this week to my primary to get medications for my ADHD diagnosis either way, I just wanted to get an idea if this was going to help with my emotional dysregulation with anxiety. Maybe at least allow me to work on CBT tools.
Extra information: I have many tools for mitigating negative coping (Thoughts, predictions, etc.) but I cannot seem to focus long enough on the exercise (meditation, mindfulness breathing, grounding) to make it useful... My mind is always moving 100 mph...
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ADHD
|
I’ve always struggled with depression but recently when it starts to get dark outside I get feelings of intense sadness and anxiety, I’ve even started turning all the lights on even during the day. I’m not afraid of the dark I sleep in pitch black, but something about nighttime and the lights being off makes me incredibly depressed to a point I can’t even really express it in words.
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depression
|
Adhd is absolutely my primary dx. However, depression is pretty persistent too.
I started to think about the last time I didn’t have depression or just felt happy. Im not sure.
I’ve tried to find a therapist, but it seems people really don’t understand comorbid adult ADHD and depression.
I work in pediatric behavioral health, and I have generally loved my job. But the burnout with COVID has been real (along with my own endometriosis battle). it just sucks I can’t find a therapist (outside of my organization) who understands how exhausting adhd is.
I started Effexor this week, so I hope this helps. (Also take stimulants)
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ADHD
|
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but what really helps me with acceptance isn’t necessarily the fact that a problem or issue won’t be resolved EVER, but that it can’t be resolved RIGHT NOW. That little reminder to myself helps me accept uncertainty longer. An OCD mind can ironically tend to push the dials of both your issues AND its own treatment to the extremes. OCD on its own is like a faithful dog barking at everything that walks by the house. When you’ve set your mind to beating the disorder itself, OCD is like a dog barking at its own reflection. The OCD mind says, “I am going to accept THE HELL out of this uncertainty”, but be mindful when it’s hijacking your own treatment like this. You don’t have to accept uncertainty forever. Just for right now.
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OCD
|
Twice now, my ex has managed to find out where I live (I've moved a few times). He sent me a package in the mail and I'm scared he'll come hundreds of miles to my house. I'm terrified. I don't know what to do.
Any advice?
EDIT: Thank you guys for your advice. I have a gun on me and I'm going to keep it loaded at all times. Last time he had my address, he never showed up. So I don't know if he'll make an exception this time or what. But at least I have the protection, and I will be going for my conceal carry license. I will also be getting some pepper spray. And the door will stay deadbolted at all times.
I WOULD get a dog, but we already have one that freaks out when the doorbell is rung. She's not my dog, she's my roommate's. But she's very non-aggressive otherwise.
As for a police report and restraining order, I am looking into doing that as well.
Again, thank you guys. ❤
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ptsd
|
Long title, didn't know how to make it shorter. I have been immobile almost all day, crying now on my bed after only having light breakfast about 9 hours ago. This has been the pattern for the past 2 weeks. TLDR at the end, too much text incoming-.-
I (29F) was diagnosed last year, and started taking medication about 6 months ago, but only about 2 months ago we found a dosage that works for me (taking wellbutrin 150mg in the morning, and adderall 10mg morning, 10mg afternoon, 5mg evening). I see my psychologist every 6 to 8 weeks and see my psychiatrist every 4 to 6 weeks. For reference my main issues with ADHD are my paralizing executive function issues and my emotional dysregulation. The medicine certainly helps with that, but only when EVERYTHING else is going well. For instance, if I dont sleep or eat well, the medicine doesn't work very well. The medicine took my appetite away for a few weeks and I started to lose weight rapidly (over 20 pounds down since I started 6 months ago, I was already underweight before this, because of my very fast metabolism, and I am under 90 lbs. My usual healthy weight -while still underweight for bmi- is 100 to 105 lbs, have been like this for about 10 years).
Despite this, I have been making huge efforts to take my medicine everyday, to eat all my meals plus snacks, to keep making my lists and keeping up with my apartment and responsibilities, to get up on time and do the things Im supposed to do. When I do this, my medicine works like a charm, and I feel like I am in charge. I barely have time (mostly no energy) to do anything beyond work and my home responsibilities, but this is because I am still trying to fix years and years of executive function issues so there is too much to fix at home, and I live alone with no family or friends near me. But here is the problem: the medicine works for about 1.5 to 2 weeks every month. Why is that? Every month my period comes and ruins it all for me.
5 to 7 days before and about 3 to 5 days during my period, my medicine is much less effective, this leads to me being unable to keep my focus on the things I HAVE to do to keep on top of my chores (literally just: litterboxes, trash, cook, dishes, laundry). So things progressively start getting messy and disorganized to the point that it becomes a big mountain of things and everyday it gets harder to get anything done. It always starts with the darn dishes, then because dishes are dirty I dont cook, which often means I dont eat dinner, which sometimes leads to staying up very late trying to force myself to get out of my seat to eat anything, to then being sleep deprived the next day, and then being too tired to put things back in their places, to eventually missing doses of my medicine, being late to work and socially withdrawing (stop texting or calling) and the cycle repeats. By the end of this awful cycle, the house ends up looking like it hasn't been cleaned in months (when just a week or 2 before everything was organized) and while the medicine starts working again, I am by that point so overwhelmed that I dont even know where to start. I started cleaning the dishes last saturday, and still today, an entire week later, I havent been able to finish, as I just feel so tired all the time (still sleep deprived and not eating well). I dread coming home from work to see the huge mess that I have to fix myself. I cry sometimes because of how it becomes like this all the time. In the past, when I was unmedicated this type of thing would go on for months, usually concluding in depression, which is very scary.
I have about 2 weeks before my next period, and I wish I could just take up my ovaries and uterus and burn them, so I dont have to go down this bad cycle again. And this two weeks are gonna be spent fixing my mess, and figuring out how to make it less extreme next time. To add some gross context, it got so bad this time, that dishes got flies and then the flies laid eggs... one of my cats started peeing on the floor near the boxes because of the state of the litter boxes (Ive fixed those by now), there are dirty clothes all over the floor, laundry baskets full to the brim, bathroom sink full of trash, every surface is messy (my bed, the air mattress that I forgot to deflate after my sis visited 3 months ago, my desk, my dining table, the sofa, etc..) I am absolutely disgusted, ashamed, and just TIRED of living like this. When things are working my house is very clean, as I am an organized person. I noticed that this is absolutely worse when I am alone (most of the time) and I am lucky when my sibblings or parents travel to visit me a few times a year. My boyfriend haven't been able to travel here since the pandemic started, and none of my close friends live near my town and some in different states.
The cherry on top is that my impulsivity is back, and several months after having a great credit score, always paying my credit card balance in full every month, now both cards are maxed out and I barrly have any money left after expenses, so if i dont cook, i dont have much to buy takeout.
-sigh- someone take me out please (this is a joke obviously)
I thought of the following things to help myself, dont know if it will help:
- get paper plates and utensils for the period week. I hate to waste but the problem always starts with the dishes.
- stop being ashamed of buying ready made meals or stuff like canned spaghetti. It is good to have in hand for when I simply cant cook.
- have snacks at hand always so that I dont go without eating
- sell/throw out most of my stuff so there is less stuff to make messes week
- hire an adhd coach to help me get back in track ($$$ tho)
- hire a person to just come to my house once a week to make me company. When there is someone in my apt I feel the urge to clean. (I dont even know how to find this service, also $$$ probably)
- hire someone that would clean my house once a month (also $$)
I have so many goals and dreams, I want to take my life back, and used that "potential" that I was told I had.
This rant ends with this: whenever I read a post of someone saying how they dont see ADHD as a disability, and we should all embrace it, and take "advantage" of it, I can't help but laugh. This shit can be crippling to some of us, even when we are making a big effort to keep on top of things, it can send us into depressive states. Gosh I wish I could take time off work and go into a hospital to recover and get back yo my normal weight.
TLDR; my medication stops working 1.5 to 2 weeks monthly because of my period, all my routines disappear, everything becomes a mess, I eat and sleep badly, and then takes the following weeks to get back to baseline, until my period comes back. I wany to find solutions and break this cycle. I am not living my life because of this.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate any advice, any stories you have, I really need support right now.
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ADHD
|
I feel like my OCD is ruining my relationship. Whenever I don't get a text back from my boyfriend for even just like an hour, even if I know he's at work or something, my brain immediately assumes he's mad at me or that he thinks I'm annoying or that he hates me or something. I always feel like I'm a bad person that tricked everyone into thinking I'm a good person. I feel like nobody knows the real me because I don't even feel like I know the real me. My life is going so well right now, just graduated, about to move in with my boyfriend, good career prospects, financially stable, etc, but I just can't shake the feelings of constant self-hatred, imposter syndrome, and feeling like everyone either hangs out with me out of pity or because they want something from me. I literally just got back from an amazing vacation with my boyfriend and the entire time I was just dwelling about past relationships and stuff, terrified that I am going to ruin my current relationship. He knows I have OCD and he's very understanding but that doesn't shut my brain up. I'm terrible at communicating my emotions with my boyfriend because I'm terrified that I'm going to seem manipulative or immature. I just don't know what to do anymore
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OCD
|
I don’t know if I just me getting older or the way society is heading, but I have noticed that it’s getting harder communicating with people without having them be offended, or being accused of being racist, sexist, etc.
I like talking about politics, current events, history, etc, and those who know me understand what I mean, but those who don’t think I’m any type of *ist.
Does anyone else have this challenge?
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aspergers
|
yeah well i have that ocd to that i think i can be somebody else especially who i hate and is very shitty and dumb to but what i do is simple i say that how can i be somebody else the person who i was born will be me plus i am born with obbsesive compulsive disorder even i know that so it is impossible to be somebody and if you don't believe it try doing what you do best plus its totally normal and time heals everything plus take sessions to help ur self ore recently it has reduced by a lot for me :)
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OCD
|
Recently I had stumbled across some very fucked-up porn of my favorite fictional character and it’s been driving me mad. In my heart I know I hate it, but I constantly doubt myself, saying that I don’t care about it and that I think it’s fine, even though in reality it’s very fucked up. I keep saying things to myself that are true, but it never lasts, I always end up doubting myself about it. How do I break this cycle and will it ever happen again?
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OCD
|
So I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse.
I currently live with my older Brother and his wife. Anyways his wife’s family’s water pipes broke so they come over to use the showers.
She has a little brother that’s about 12 years old. I’ve noticed every time he would come over he would hug me too close to my butt. I gave him the benefit of the doubt since he’s really young maybe it’s just because he’s short or doesn’t know how to socialize. Anyways, tonight I told everyone I was going to bed.
And as I’m laying bed Half hour later, he walks into my room YES walks into my room no knocking or nothing and I was half asleep and confused and jumped up and he came over to my bed and said “I came to say goodnight because were leaving”
I thought that was so weird because I’m in my room where I am in privacy, and I told everyone I was going to be asleep.
He comes over and he hugs me and touches my butt. Then I start freaking out and I have all these memories and feelings and the physical memories come racing back into my head
I have no one to talk to
I texted my brother he came into my room and he hugged me and said he told his wife
Then his wife walks in but she seems so doubtful
And I couldn’t stop panicking
It’s been almost 2+ years clean
And I start slitting my skin open hyperventilating and I’m freaking out so bad
I don’t know what to do
It’s sucks most when I have no one to talk to about this stuff because they don’t know what or how I’m feeling
I can’t stop feeling out
I know she doesn’t believe me
I was so stupid to even mention it to him I’m so stupid and now I feel so dumb it isn’t even a big fucking deal why is my body over reacting or maybe it is a big deal I don’t know how to feel I need some help now
I don’t know what to do I don’t know what to do or feel
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ptsd
|
Can’t go into much detail but I work in insurance doing claim reviews but my job is based on production which is a challenge for me and I’m also mandated to work 45-50 hrs/week so that makes it to where my personal todo list is constantly growing (bc I dont have time/flexibility to get errands done) and by the end of the day, I’m too tired/distracted to get anything done. It’s a vicious cycle and brings me great stress always feeling behind/slow to get things done outside of my work.
I’m a good puzzle solver, I am very analytical and I prefer to work alone. Remote would be even better. But the main thing I’m craving is FLEXIBILITY (to where I can choose when I work/stop).
Any suggestions for jobs/careers that are ADHD friendly? Bonus if they are flexible or work from home jobs
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ADHD
|
I've been on Vyvanse for a few years now with the same psychiatrist. Recently he's begun minimising his practice in general and isn't offering prescriptions anymore.
I was aware of this and was going to make plans once I had my last repeat so I had a month to get things in place but apparently my prescription expired the day before I went in to pick it up meaning I couldn't get it.
I talked to my psych and he recommended talking to my GP about applying to be able to prescribe it in his place but my GP essentially just referred me to another psychiatrist. I'm really worried about the possible wait time involved in meeting with an entirely new psychiatrist and really just need this prescription since I'm generally not very functional without it. Does anyone have any ideas that might be quicker than waiting for a new initial consultation?
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ADHD
|
This week I started on 50mg of samexid or vyvanse. its really helpful but i havent been getting much sleep and my anxiety has been acting up.
Im on day 4 and i slept kinda decently but only 5 hours. i hope im adjusting.
I wonder though if i dont take it over the weekend it is possible the adjustment will regress??
Should i skip it in the weekend and catch up on sleep or just hang in there?
I wanted to go for a bike ride and tire myself out but i have an injured ankle and pt left it very tired.
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ADHD
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can anybody says to me that everything will be okay. i really need it right now
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depression
|
Okay, I’m currently sick. My adhd causes me to have ocd everytime I get sick. The second I feel phlegm rattling in my throat, I HAVE TO do what it takes to get it out , even if it means doing it til I throw up and it just lodges further in. I can’t let it sit there until it gets looser. I can’t stand the feeling / taste of phlegm. I’m sure no one can but it’s very extreme for me. When I was 18 I went to the ER, I irritated my lungs so much it made it raw and specs of blood would be in the mucus. They diagnosed me with anxiety and said it was ocd, I don’t remember what it’s even called they said I had. But a phobia of being sick(they didn’t actually put it on discharge papers but said that was what was happening … I’m basically trying to force myself to feel better when my body physically won’t. Which just makes it all worse. I keep trying to be more mindful and I am going insane. I have barely slept the last three days cause I obsessively stay up coughing and coughing. Sometimes I even do this thing where I push air from my diaphragm all the way out my mouth, until can feel phlegm again. Wouldn’t a normal person leave it alone and wait for it to come on it’s own instead of forcibly doing so? I am tired. I feel worse today than the entire time I’ve been sick. How do I stop this?
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ADHD
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I’ve been struggling with exercising compulsively for hours and hours everyday to the point of running over 15 miles in total throughout the day every day. I don’t see too many people talk about compulsive exercise. Does anyone else have the same struggle?
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OCD
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So I think I may have undiagnosed ADHD and wanted a second opinion on if what I do is executive dysfunction or if I'm just lazy or have some other issue.
So I do this thing where I want or need to do something, but I don't do it. I should brush my teeth, I don't brush my teeth. I should put in a work order for my apartment, I don't put a work order in for my apartment. I should clean out my car, I don't clean out my car. Etc, etc, etc. And these are things I want to do but forever reason I can't make myself do them. It feels like I'm fighting myself to do every single task, even things I enjoy. It's a nice day out I should go shoot some photos, I don't leave the bed.
I have struggled with with this issue for years and would really like a second opinion on if this is actually ADHD or not because I have imposter syndrome in everything that I do. What do you guys think? Cheers, Claire
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ADHD
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I have bad PTSD, but I don't do around saying, "excuse me please don't do XYZ thing, it triggers me". It is my responsibility to deal with what triggers me, not the world's responsibility to cater to me. Now if someone starts intentionally tormenting me with a trigger to get a reaction I would treat that differently, but as long as it's not intentional I deal with it myself. I deal with it as best I can, if I can't and it causes problems I have to own that. If you expect other people to tip toe around your sensitivities, well they're not going to, right, wrong or otherwise. I know it's like sacrilegious to say that, but there it is.
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ptsd
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Had a front row view of an incredibly violent crime ten years ago when i was a kid.
Never talked to a shrink about it, my gf and my dad convinced me and I'm about to go once the lockdown is over (this is for context, only professionals i talked to about this were police officers & detectives and school counselors)
I have the feeling my nightmares, irritability, anxiety (mostly those three but there's also the other other fun symptoms) come at me in waves. Some weeks or months i don't really have those symptoms besides the constant hypervigilance and hostility towards strangers but there are some weeks like this period where the nightmares and anxiety is overwhelming. I might get awoken four weeks a night during those periods. I'm wondering if its normal that there are periods where i dont suffer from this but some weeks where its overwhelming?
Excuse my English, admin can delete this post if its not allowed.
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ptsd
|
Hyperthymesia, eidetic memory, OCD, and CPTSD
18m, and I am almost certain I have a form of hyperthymesia. Not the perfect as perfect can be where you remember every date and time that every specific event of your life happened, but I can play my whole life in my head like a really long movie and can describe the majority of my memories vividly. Boring days tend to merge but many had at least one thing defining enough to stick out and let me remember the whole day.
The only thing is I have severe trauma that was 24/7 (not exaggeration) up until the age of 12, and only started to steadily decrease in severity until…. Now ish. Until I get out of my childhood home it’s like it’s still happening in all honesty. But the thing about having such a great autobiographical memory is that while I remember many obscure things that are fun to share with others, nearly everything I’ve ever learned, every fun experience, I also remember the bad experiences, everything I failed at, and all of the trauma that went on. The latter taking up the majority unfortunately. Had my childhood been great maybe I would like this little “superpower” but sadly that’s not the case.
I also have eidetic memory and can pull up most things Ive seen, even if only once, in my head pretty easily. Pretty good for classes that require memorization, like in my biology classes right now, cause once I see something and lock it in I never have trouble getting that information for when it’s time to test for it. A lot trickier with math, but with it being a different process in doing the equations out (I remember the formulas for the most part, I just suck at doing them out) it’s not surprising it would be different from writing/reading, emotional and sensory experiences.
I also have a very vivid sensory and emotional memory, I can remember exactly how things feel, smell, look, taste, etc. which is pretty cool. The emotional memory really sucks though, cause ya know, severe longterm trauma. I remember how heartbroken and depressed I used to be (which is the worst during a flashback because not only does it feel the exact same but I remember feeling like it, so it almost hurts twice as bad in a way) and continue to be and it just causes me a lot of pain. My body kind of numbed myself to that through my earlier teen years, enough to where I thought I was a genuine sociopath just because that entire part of my brain shut off to protect itself. Now I know it’s severe CPTSD though and I’m working through it however small ways I can at the moment.
Also no surprise here, but I also have OCD. And the funny thing about discovering that my memory is different from others like this, is that I am now obsessing over it, yet also doubting I have it and just want to look special (even though there’s little to no evidence for that and way more for the contrary). OCD is one hell of a drug that’s for sure.
Anyone else have a similar struggle? Or just can relate to any part of this? I feel kind of alone in this.
Like even though cool, I have yet another genetic anomaly about me, and people who know about it see me as really intelligent, it still fucking sucks for the most part. Who cares if I don’t have to study for tests or I can learn things way faster than most people, I relive and obsess over emotional pain I’ve experienced every single day and it makes life really hard and causes way too much stress. I will never forget any of my negative experiences in life and have to block them out along with all other emotions if I want to find any relief. I retraumatize myself regularly with the vivid intrusive memories that I obsess over. For the life I’ve lived thus far this trait is not something I’m super happy about. Though gaslighting is impossible for me from other people so that’s one plus I guess. OCD lets me gaslight myself no problem though, so it kind of cancels out.
Though the best part about it id say is the killer imagination, hell I have a whole life in my head that I escape to quite often. It’s like dreaming while awake and I love it, because as long as I don’t acknowledge it’s all in my head, it’s like it’s entirely real. The emotions I feel from it are real. The sensations I can conjure up feel real. It may not actually be happening, but it’s a damn good coping mechanism for the time being while I’m alone and barely starting to recover. In my head I can have my dream job, my dream partner, my dream friends, whatever I want and it will make me happy in that moment as I imagine things being okay, even when they aren’t.
Hopefully as I get older and start to make better memories with people who actually care I’ll learn to appreciate this. When things are better sure I’ll still remember the pain and every horrible feeling and experience I’ve been through, but I’ll also get to remember everything nice that will happen, every hug, every “I love you”, every fun outing with friends, all the cool places I’ll visit, and all the new positive experiences I’ll go through. I really hope that one day the good memories will heavily outweigh the bad so I’ll be able to focus on those and relive those memories instead of the shitty ones I have now. And here’s to hoping for help with the OCD, I feel like if that gets taken care of I’d be better off because I at least wouldn’t obsess over the bad memories and intrusive thoughts I have. And hopefully with the CPTSD things get better as well as I learn to let go of the past and that I don’t have to actively remember it even though it’s still there to access (Though I feel like this goes hand in hand with the OCD, obsessing leads to retraumatization, that leads to obsessing over the trauma, etc. so as one gets better the other will). I’m just hoping things get better and I can learn to enjoy my memory.
Thanks for reading if you got here, I posted this initially on r/eidetic but I don’t think anyone will see it there, so since my OCD (and OCD in general) is heavily connected to it I’m posting here as well.
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OCD
|
don’t expect anyone to read this as i already know it’s just going to be me going on some self-pitying rant.
i just can’t take it anymore. a breakup has triggered an episode and i have already been deteriorating for some time. i am so shocked that somehow the holiday season has managed to be shittier this year than the last. i didn’t even think it was possible.
my therapist can’t help me at all because what the fuck can you possibly say to fix this? nothing. there is nothing to say or do. i am at a dead end, literally.
i’m so completely alone. every day i am miserable and not a single thing helps. going out, watching shows, playing games, going to therapy, playing with a puppy or my cat, raising the dose on my meds, playing guitar, getting good food. not a single fucking thing helps at all. it all reminds me of her and i can’t take it anymore.
she was supposed to be flying out to see me tomorrow and i made so many christmas plans for us. but she cancelled and broke up with me.
i am completely alone and mentally and physically sick. when i last saw her she gave me covid and i was terribly sick for weeks. now i am sick from my wellbutrin. i can’t even escape through my fucking sleep anymore because my dreams are haunted by everything that happens in my life. i can’t shower or get out of bed. i go weeks at a time.
talking to the only person left, my mom, makes everything so much worse. she somehow makes it out to be about my abusive father and how i need to forgive him because life is short and how could i live with myself when he dies?
i genuinely have no desire to be alive. i can’t kill myself right now because i know she will blame herself for that and i could never do that to her. so i have to wait and drink myself into a fucking coma every day just to get by at this point. all i do is cry all day. i hate everything about my life. i don’t want it anymore.
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depression
|
It drives me insane, so many little things you have to keep track of and keep timings in mind. If things don't go exactly as I expect then it just infuriates me and the food usually burns. I hate cooking so much.
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aspergers
|
I initially thought that my diagnosis with Aspergers was entirely a matter of my personality/behavioral characteristics (special passions/obsessions, one-sided conversations, social awkwardness etc). I've come to moderate a lot of these tendencies over the years and improve my social skills.
But now, I'm realizing a lot of basic sensory differences between myself and neuro-typical people. My pain tolerance is insanely high and has been ever since I've been a kid, I'm slow to transition to seasonal shifts in temperature. I'll wear heavy winter clothing well passed the point when it is appropriate to do so, and dress lightly well after summer shifts to fall. Paradoxically, summer temperatures affect me far more than others. I feel extreme discomfort at sweat. What most people call a "nice day" I call uncomfortably bright and intolerably hot. I've never thought of it in these terms before, but I think I experienced (heat-related) sensory overload a few days ago. I became anxious, started pacing, I couldn't relax, my heart started racing. It wasn't particularly hot, but it was night and I wasn't having the relief of overnight lows that I'd come to expect all my life.
I handle the cold far better. I enjoy overcast/cloudy days where I can relax/rest my eyes and enjoy the cool air (and maybe even some rain or snow) on my skin. I'll leave my window open and enjoy temperatures others find uncomfortably cold.
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aspergers
|
I've been suspecting I'm an aspie for a while, and everyone has told me I likely am, and one behavior that some like to point out is my seemingly odd obsession for keeping lists, logs, tracking things and saving things like online tests/quizzes results.
So like, I keep over 30 lists and logs, some of them have a lot of detail. I keep track of things like music, movies or games I beat with services such as lastfm, letterboxd and HowLongToBeat, and I also like taking any type of online test or quizz, even if it's a dumb one, then saving and categorizing the results.
I have other similar sort of obsessive behaviors along the same lines, such as pilling up on e-books, games and other digital media I might never really use, or spending hours categorizing things and putting everything in different categories, or other similar things.
Anyone else does this? Is this a common thing among people on the spectrum?
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aspergers
|
I'm in my last uni year and after COVID stuff, you bet I wanna make this year the best one. I don't feel close with a lot of people at ui. I definitely have friends whom I can talk to more easily. But I'm in a country away from home and want to develop my roots. It feels like there's a barrier stopping me from reaching out, getting properly close to people, like a bit of human understanding I'm missing out on. I do have close friends back home so I'm not sure what's causing me trouble now. I feel like I've gotten so good at presenting myself charismatically to people that that's all I can do, present a part of myself to people without providing an enviroment where opening up comes naturally.
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aspergers
|
i’m honestly confused. life is honestly so shitty, i’ve dealt with some suicidal thoughts in the past when i was at my lowest point then things started to look better when i got promoted at my job but now it’s been down hill..
i’m working a job that i honestly hate. i got promoted a few months ago for a “better” so called position and the out come has been even more terrible then before i honestly feel like i have no life.
i work literally everyday, i have no time to myself, i have no gf. i have no friends. all i do is work come home sleep and repeat..some days i don’t even eat. i have all this emotion bottled in that i never show it.
i know there’s more to life to then this..i feel lonely and sad half the time, i see people around the same age i am (24), married, kids, happy life, purchasing homes, graduating college etc..and i just compare myself to them and i get sad..bc i haven’t accomplished shit at my age, i’m a college drop out who lives in my parents basement.
also i wish i had somebody to tell me to keep going..or even somebody to love.
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depression
|
...And I just don't see the point in trying anymore anything in my life. It feels like I am faking it everything.
I am a loser, and I will never be a cool person, never I will be 18 again.
I know that this isn't the main deal with depression, but it is the main deal on why I don't want to live anymore, because I will never have a normal life again, and I lost many years of my life.
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depression
|
I've seen others post this sentiment, but I appreciate all of you.
Thank you for helping me help myself, for the opportunity to maybe help one of y'all.
It's awfully hard, isn't it? Let's appreciate us.
Take note of this good, positive thing you have.
Thank you
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aspergers
|
I have OCD over my teeth, I brushed them after I had some acid reflux in your sleep and apparently my you can sheen away a small layer of your tooth enamel. Which is exactly what I think happened because I constantly look at my teeth and I feel I notice a difference.
I was just starting to feel better also, and this cratered me down to wanting to Jill myself again.
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OCD
|
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCF8I\_X1qKI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCF8I_X1qKI)
Yesterday I was waiting to watch SNL, but it was too late for my timezone so I ended up falling asleep. I just woke up and went straight to the computer to have the episode replayed (it was supposed to be a kinda big deal for the Dogecoin community and holders).
To be honest, I was going to pass up on the monologue when my brain said 'no, just leave it on maybe he mentions Doge during the intro. I almost fell off my chair when he went ahead "I have something important to tell you tonight". I thought, "Here we gooo!! He is going to shill Doge in minute 1 already"; and then started with the "I don't have much intonation when I speak" (I thought to myself, yeah we know that... where are you goin' man...¿?). When he said 'I have Asperger's I thought I was tripping. Never ever in my life thought he was going to admit it publicly in a prime-time TV show with the whole crypto nerd community stuck to the screens.
If you read my username, you may understand why this is such a big deal (at a personal level). One of my special interests is aviation & aerospace and he is one of the people that I have a deep admiration for. Not to mention that this is an important step for Asperger's awareness and acceptance. There are some people that I'm thinking of, that will have not liked this (the ones who think having a disorder is akin to having the plague, and ironically some probably liked Elon for his position and status as a successful businessman).
I am still a bit in shock, (not from the info, as to me it was pretty clear, but more from the time & place he chose to make it public) so much that I have not had time to check what happened with Doge lol I just wanted to share it with you. I hope you have a beautiful Sunday you all. I love reading your posts <3
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aspergers
|
**Content Warning:** Mention of mild suicidal ideation near the end, lifelong struggles described throughout, only negativity in this post (I'm sorry).
**Status:** Diagnosed a year ago with ADHD-PI and MDD. Began antidepressants early this year (significant improvements). Began 10-20mg Vyvanse a month ago (no improvements yet). Have had academic accommodations at school for ADHD since last year. Cannot afford long-term therapy.
I grew up feeling incredibly stupid. It didn't help that I struggled with socializing and grew up shy. It didn't help that my verbally abusive father belittled my intelligence and worth every chance he got.
I could rarely do my homework or put in the actual time needed for every task required. I would sit for hours upon hours every day with my homework out in front of me... and instead of simply doing it, I'd intensely daydream of the fictional characters I had made up in my head: my perfect, wonderful, and supportive fictional best friend or romantic partner (who also happened to be wealthy and could thus afford to "fix" my entire life and being). Dreamt about everything and anything that brought me joy, everything and anything that I could be one day. For a minute I'd be touched by all those "your dreams won't come true unless you work for them" quotes, then whatever influence they had on me would immediately drain from my body and I'd return to my idle state.
I knew at the age of nine, while looking down and drawing shapes with my finger on my chair and desk all class when I should have been paying attention to the lesson my teacher was giving, that there was something seriously wrong with me in comparison to everyone else. Everyone else did not seem to have the same problems I had; paying attention, doing work, paying attention, meeting goals, paying attention, putting in my all. I knew there was something wrong and that I had a major limitation, but I didn't know what it was, and I grew up with that acknowledgment looming over me while I continuously failed to reach even a fraction of my potential.
I was convinced after performing well in the few high school classes I actually enjoyed that I would excel if I simply studied what interested me in university. Five years into a university a program that I enjoy, and I've only done a *few* of my readings. Five years in, and I haven't submitted a single assignment by the due date. Never *began* writing my assignments until last minute, even if last minute was already two, four, seven, fourteen days late. Dropped numerous courses simply because I couldn't submit assignments on time, despite having the ability to write excellent papers. I'd stay up for hours after dropping a course, crying, heart breaking, contemplating the failure I am and always have been, with only a fraction of relief from having one less responsibility. How many times had I done this? I've lost count. I'm certain over a third of the courses I enrolled in were dropped. I wanted to do the full four-year program, but that would realistically take me eight years to finish. It's going to take me six years to finish the three-year program version.
For a while I was convinced I would do better in an actual job setting. But I quit my first fast-food job after two months because I was too slow to adjust to the fast-paced environment and couldn't handle the disapproval of my managers and my embarrassment anymore. I arrived an hour late every day to the one internship I had, and crammed all my work in the couple of hours I'd stay after my shift. The only praise my boss could give me was that I was "kind", when really I was just shy.
My peers, they juggle 3-5 courses while working part-time jobs, forming impressive resumes. Me? I can barely handle the minimum two courses required for students with disabilities, resulting in a relatively unimpressive resume indicating my inability to handle multiple responsibilities at once.
But despite all this, I *know* I'm smart. I know I'm intelligent. In the courses I enjoy, I listen well during the lectures. I understand the concepts easily. Even though my intelligence hasn't translated itself into the work I've done, I know it's still *there.* I have so much potential, I know it.
But I just bombed two exams. Unsurprisingly, I was insanely behind on the readings and lecture material. Still, I understood the exam questions and knew how to answer them to a decent degree, and I could have easily answered *all* of them. But I didn't. Because 50% or more of the time spent during the exam was wasted on uncontrollable daydreaming, as has always been the case for me during exams.
What's the point? What's the point of all this? A billion times I've made promises to myself that at the beginning of a new semester, I'd work harder, stay caught up, manage my time well, stop being late to every single class or event, attend all lectures, actually do my course readings, submit assignments on time, and so on. A billion times I've broken those promises.
How many more times am I supposed to experiment with different study schedules, to see if any of them will work, knowing that every single one in the past has failed? How many more courses am I supposed to salvage through, barely doing the work that I know I'm beyond capable of? How many more hobbies do I have to completely miss out on because I physically can't bring myself to work on them, no matter how much I actually want to? How much dumber must I feel for always being overwhelmed by tasks that most can easily and quickly manage? How many more times do I have to convince myself that my intelligence still matters if it's always going to be locked up in a cage in my head? What's the point of intelligence if I can't transfer it to the real world, to my life, to my benefit, to my happiness, to my survival? What's the point of all that unused "potential" every grade school teacher of mine talked about if I can never even use it?
I know productivity should not be what measures our worth or happiness. I understand that. But if I can't even produce work that makes me happy, work that *I want to do,* then productivity is required for my happiness and wellbeing to a significant enough degree.
I don't know how much longer I can chase the hypothetical worry-free emotional "recharging" time I've always dreamed of. It's not real, unfortunately. What *is* real is the 40-hour work week I'll have no choice but to put myself through after graduation if I want to survive in this world. What is *also* real is my debilitating ADHD that has ruined my life and will likely not be tamed to accommodate the life I'll have to live.
Every day I pray I'll win the lottery one day, so that I can afford long-term therapy, a life coach who can organize my life and make me follow a productive schedule, and a pet to start a loving and supportive friendship with. Or I imagine living in a hypothetical adult boarding school, in which all adults enrolled are still independent and have freedom, but simply follow a daily schedule together to ensure individual productivity through supervision. But these are just dreams, again.
When I worry about my future and the likelihood of me being able to keep a job and survive on my own, I always think, "well, I'll just end my life, problem solved". It's been my backup plan for a long time. But I want to live a happy life. I want to survive, both physically and mentally. But I can't handle *just* surviving for too long. If I'm barely getting by for too long, I won't see the point of an unhappy and dysfunctional life, and I'll break. If I'm barely above water for too long, I won't see the point of struggling to breathe and fighting the waves, and I'll willingly drown.
So what's the point of living this kind of life?
**TL;DR** ADHD-PI. Exhausted from not being able to use my potential, despite having the capability and the intelligence. Always had "maladaptive daydreaming". Rarely ever performed well at school or work, even if I enjoyed them. Always struggled to bring myself to engage in hobbies. My peers can juggle multiple responsibilities, whereas I cannot. Made a billion promises to myself that I'd do better; broke all promises. Worried about my survival in the future. What's the point of living a life in which I can't even *use* my intelligence and potential?
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ADHD
|
I am diagnosed with adhd and gad. Over the past month, I have been super bad at taking care of myself. I have been doing the following:
- missing meals, forgetting to eat, losing weight
- not drinking water
- not cleaning my room
I’m most embarrassed about forgetting my job interview time and completely missing the interview :(
The worst thing is that when I forgot all this stuff I feel terrible about myself. I hate that I can’t do basic things. I was so embarrassed about missing the job interview I didn’t tell anyone I missed it.
I was in therapy but we mostly focused on my anxiety symptoms. Does anyone have any advice of what I can do about these times where I can’t manage my symptoms as well. I’m not on medication or anything. Thanks in advance!
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ADHD
|
I have no idea where my life is going. For the past 4-5 years I haven't been able to keep a job. I feel like everything is going well and then they tell me that it's not working out. I start to wonder if I've done something at these jobs that I can't remember. Then after I'm let go I start to deal with all the emotions of not being good enough, being used, not wanting to live anymore and disappointing my family once again. I've struggled with depression and I think PTSD for most of my adult adult life. I'm easily frustrated and have no patience, I feel like I'm always ignored and I've gotten where I hate to hear people talk when I'm trying to focus. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm going down the rabbit hole and there is no end. Please .. I need some advise. Thanks!
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ptsd
|
So, I've been doing some genealogical research lately and in trying to find information about my long-lost paternal grandmother, I learned about my father's ADD diagnosis back in 1992 during his college years. I went to him and asked him about it. He had never been medicated for his condition, because he was sober after a long life of substance abuse issues.
I spent a lot of time reflecting on my own life and the struggles I had in school and at home. I was a pretty bright kid, even being in the Gifted and Talented (GT) program in elementary school. When I got into middle school, the struggles began. In elementary school, GT was fun and a good way to get out of class. In middle school, GT was work and aimed at developing skills for high school and college. That was when I learned that success came from hard work, not intelligence. I basically rode the wave of my early success through high school, staying just ahead of the game. I got by on testing skills and very little completed homework. I went from a straight-A student to graduating with a 2.88 GPA.
These days, I work full-time after dropping out of college. I work in pharmacy and can bust my ass any day, but still find myself making mistakes and missing details. So, after reflecting on my father's diagnosis and my previous struggles, I scheduled a yearly wellness check up (after 2-1/2 years) and spoke with my physician about everything. Doc prescribed me Vyvanse and I've been taking it a few days now.
The past few days have been a lot of thought about whether improvements are placebo or if it's the medication working. I finally got my apartment clean since moving in 3 months ago. I feel happier. I can sit and watch TV and actually get through a whole episode without losing the plot or looking at my phone. Obviously, I'm still early in my diagnosis, but I'm learning every day. I am currently looking at returning to school next fall, which would give me plenty of time to get my life back in order.
I've been on reddit for many years and it's always been a wonderful community for any interests you can think of. So, here I am. I'm looking to connect with people, learn from your experiences and get advice for things y'all have issues with. I just wanted to share my story of an ADHD diagnosis of a 22-year-old college dropout. Thank you for your time!
|
ADHD
|
The worst place I've had an overload was when I went on a day trip to Blackpool with my mum back in 2019.
I remember being overwhelmed by how many people there were there, like I knew there would be a lot but it was just so packed.
Just for the record I'd been wanting to go to Blackpool for a while before this so jumped at the chance.
I knew I was getting overloaded because I felt myself making verbal sounds I don't usually make, of course there was so many people around mum didn't hear me. Though it's extremely rare I make verbal sounds of distress, usually I stim to the point I look like I'm having a fit. (Been told my eyes roll into my sockets when I stim)
Luckily mum soon noticed something was majorly wrong as I had stopped speaking, anyone who knows me knows I have a habit of talking alot so she managed to find a small café that wasn't too busy and we got a drink and sat down until it started getting busy.
Rinse and repeat four more times that day.
I have never been so drained of energy as I was that day.
Feel sorry for mum as it was so crowded she couldn't find a decent quiet place to calm me down no matter what we did.
I remember saying to her at least in London there's little alleyways we can duck into if I start getting overwhelmed.
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aspergers
|
I don't know if this has to do anything with ADHD but I always do and say the wrong thing all the time and I am so awkward and stupid and at the same time pretentious and when I am alone I can't stop thinking about what I did or said :(
I wish I was a normal person but since covid everything is so much more difficult and I fill so alone, I fill like my friends moved on without me.
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ADHD
|
Among several other themes, the main OCD theme i struggle with is physical contamination.
over the span of several years it has gotten so severe to where I cannot even make contact with outside air (including open screened windows/ doors, or just even stepping outside) without feeling like I was just drug through a pile of shit.
​
does anyone have any ideas on how I can get help because I’m out of options and I just want my life back, I want to be able to go outside again.
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OCD
|
I was lying awake, kept from sleep by my OCD, as one is. I started thinking (as I often do) about my childhood bully. This person was a friend who was in my life for quite a few of my formative childhood years. She also emotionally traumatized me, to the point where I have dreams about her often. Just a few nights ago I dreamed that she shot and killed me.
So I’m lying there and I think “man. Imagine if she was going to the same university as me next year.” But I figure the chances are pretty low so I move on. Then I go to the Instagram stalking stage and lo and behold. In her bio, the name of the very same university I’m attending.
Suddenly the obsessive thought I’ve been rolling around in my head all night is a little less urgent because WHAT THE FUCK. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN.
Like where are the cameras. I must be being punk’d.
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OCD
|
So I (F 27) was getting back to watching “Angel” ( I stopped at season 2 ) and had to stop because there was a scene where the Main character is getting raped in his sleep . I don’t think I can watch anymore of it because it was disturbing and brought back some really traumatic experiences :Rape and the dismissals I got for trying to talk about it . The fact that the creator ( wrote both of these shows) would wrote an attempted rape in “Buffy the vampire slayer “ and that is recognized as rape but in “ Angel “ it isn’t , is really disturbing. I watched “Buffy “ a lot whenever I am going through something rough and it has helps ( despite some really questionable writings and age gap ).
I know i will never completely understand what it is like to be a male and victim of the mentality ,” men can’t be raped by women “ . But it really hurts my heart when I see a male character being raped and it isn’t being talked about during the show . It was very disturbing and heartbreaking . I experienced before in being told it wasn’t rape before and I know how much it hurts . Has anyone experience this with tv shows or books that tends to make rape not seem rape and you got triggered by it? Sorry for the mess . It is hard for me to make a sentence because it has been bothering me for a week.
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ptsd
|
I’m 41. Have had success, money, love and kids. But I feel trapped. I’m married with 3 kids, a dog, big house, a successful business. But I’m so unhappy. Like what is the point? I regret so much. I hate my wife, my kids, my dog. I feel as a man I just have to suck it up and go on… but why? I take one day at a time but have nothing to look forward to. I don’t even have anyone to talk to. I’ve even asked my wife to go to therapy but she doesn’t want to. I feel like she doesn’t get it. I’ve never said this out loud. I quit it all… it just sucks. It was so hard to write this.
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depression
|
Hello,
I'm a 32F who suffers with depression and anxiety. I think I need a friend to exchange ideas, something really basic, since all my friends are married or/and taking care of their kids. I'm not looking for people who thinks it can be a dating thing. I just need to know that I can be heard. Holidays are coming and the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming.
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depression
|
I(19M) am a porn addict. I became depressed because of it, There are other things like narcissistic abuse that led to depression but this addiction is the main factor. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't complain nor feel bad because I keep relapsing and I'm the reason my life sucks, But at the same time it's a goddamn addiction so it's so hard to escape from it, I won't wake up one day and just snap out of it. The most damaging thing that porn did to me was that it made me have zero energy. I know what I need to do to get my shit together but I have absolutely no energy to do so, Am I a victim of the porn industry ? or am I playing the victim to shift the blame from me ? deep down I know that a big part of the blame lies on me but it's so fucking hard and I can't ask for help because I won't stand the look of dissapointment on my close people's faces.
I'm so tired of the guilt, shame and this zombie-like life that I'm living, but nobody is coming to save me. I have to get myself together and fight addiction, abuse, depression, self hatred, life hardships, etc. While feeling completely helpless and hopeless. I'm tired.
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depression
|
I was just recently diagnosed with OCD and while a lot of things have connected and begun to make sense it’s also super frustrating. OCD feels so embarrassing sometimes. Like I know I can’t control my thoughts and that intrusive thoughts are gonna drive a lot of my day but I hate that I don’t have control. Obsessing and not being able to control myself is so frustrating and makes my anxiety so much worse. It becomes overwhelming. I just wish I could shut it off and think what I want to think. I want to have healthy relationships where I’m not over analyzing or obsessing or acting out. Does anyone have any tactics they’ve used that work at all?
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OCD
|
So I've been diagnosed with Pure OCD. It's a hell, everyday. I used to overthink about everything, everything negative... mainly getting triggered by negative words like "bad", "worse", "i hate", "i don't like".
If someone would tell me "I don't like dogs", I would get crazy over it, and ruminate till my blood pressure is so high that I isolate myself until I can think straight again.
So I decided to stop engaging with toxic people, and on top of that read anything toxic/negative or potentially triggering.
It works, to the extend that I'm not stressing that much anymore. But I feel like this can not be the solution.
I don't feel like exposing myself to everything negative would be great thing too, it would be too much self destructing.
Does anyone have any tips? Please be nice.
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OCD
|
I have Contamination OCD specifically with asbestos. A few days ago in the house which I look after for a family member there was a leak in the roof and had to get a person to look in the loft. Yes we have asbestos in that house and around the boiler. Anyway the plumber went into loft - fixed the problem but left some debris around - which I'm concerned looks like AIB or asbestos insulation board (the brown asbestos stuff). There is AIB around the boiler. I would never go in the loft - I warned the plumber about asbestos.
I cannot believe I have been so foolish - I spend my life avoiding this stuff and now I'm having a break down about what I have potentially been exposed to when the loft hatch was open. I'm now having a very real crisis where all I can do is go over the situation again and again and I'm struggling to even get out of bed, just googling and getting anxious. I'm terrified - literally to death. World has gone dark and now I fear that I can do nothing but obsess over what this material is.
Why does my number one fear in life keep cropping up to haunt me. I cannot seem to get any peace. How does this always happen to me. I keep having (milder) triggering events but this one is bringing me to the brink.
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OCD
|
I’m just so tired of everything. I’m tired of pretending to be happy, pretending that everything is okay and that it will be okay. I’m tired of trying make things better, to make my relationship with my parents better. I’m tired of struggling to make anything out of my life. I’m tired of the feeling that I’m nothing more than a disappointment and embarrassment to my wife. Most of all, I’m tired of going on
Most days now I pray that my heart stops in my sleep so I don’t have to wake up anew. This year has been harder than most, I lost several family members, I had to put my three year old dog down because of a brain tumor, I’m most likely about to lose my job because a move…and now we’ve been told that my wife will either lose her job or we’ll be forced to lose the house we’re about to close on because her boss changed his mind on drive distance.
I’m just tired of the rat race. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing here, I feel like I’m ranting. I’m sorry.
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depression
|
i cant do anything anymore, i cant study anymore, i cant do the stuff i like anymore, i cant think of anything i like anymore, i dont want to live anymore, i dont want any thoughts anymore. i dont want to think anymore. sorry for the rant
ffffffffffff
|
OCD
|
After discussing with my CBT therapist for a few weeks I've finally decided to go to the GP and try to get officially diagnosed and maybe medication. Any tips on how to explain things / what to include? I feel like I'm going to forget something haha. Any stories or personal experiences welcome too!!
TIA!
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OCD
|
So as someone with ADHD, I have very strong hyperfixations. And whenever I have a particularly strong one, it literally takes over everything I do and I start thinking of it as my “purpose.” Whenever I try and remind myself that it’ll probably pass, I’ll just think “no, this one’s permanent!!”
For example, I had a hyperfixation on rollercoasters for like two years, and for that entire time, I was convinced I was gonna work in a rollercoaster manufacturing company. Currently, I’m coming out of a hyperfixation on cybersecurity, and for the longest time I thought I was gonna be a cybersecurity analyst. There’s lots more examples of this, too.
I just… How am I gonna hold down a career??? I will literally get bored of anything I try to do. Idk 😭
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ADHD
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