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87,900 | Secretary Clinton, I know you've got a lot on your plate - and a blathering, dangerous idiot to deal with as an opponent - but I need you to put all that aside for at least a moment. | Secretary Clinton, I know you've got a lot on your plate - and a blathering, dangerous idiot to | deal with as an opponent - but I need you to put all that aside for at least a moment. |
87,901 | Yes… two dollars and 99 cents, 299 pennies, 1 cent less than $3 also translated to the fucking cheapest I’ve ever seen a god damned bomber of good beer in my entire life. | Yes… two dollars and 99 cents, 299 pennies, 1 cent less than $3 also translated | to the fucking cheapest I’ve ever seen a god damned bomber of good beer in my entire life. |
87,902 | Thrillist highlighted the Red Hook restaurant’s Jamaican jerk baby back ribs, Oaxacan wood-fired chicken and Vietnamese hot wings. | Thrillist highlighted the Red Hook restaurant’s Jamaican jerk baby back | ribs, Oaxacan wood-fired chicken and Vietnamese hot wings. |
87,903 | Chadwick sign is a bluish discoloration of the cervix, vagina, and labia resulting from increased blood flow. | Chadwick sign is a bluish discoloration of the cervix, | vagina, and labia resulting from increased blood flow. |
87,904 | Trump, who has also slammed Mexican illegals as rapists, said yesterday only “a deviant” would interpret his comment as related to menstruation. | Trump, who has also slammed Mexican illegals as rapists, said yesterday | only “a deviant” would interpret his comment as related to menstruation. |
87,905 | Assuming we want to bang and not stay up all night melodramatically Burning Your Old Screenplays, that shit ain't gonna fly. | Assuming we want to bang and not stay up all night melodramatically | Burning Your Old Screenplays, that shit ain't gonna fly. |
87,906 | There are several types of artificial vagina available commercially. | There are several types of | artificial vagina available commercially. |
87,907 | The 18-year-old wore a T-shirt with “Grab my pussy, I dare you ” emblazoned on it. | The 18-year-old wore a T-shirt with “ | Grab my pussy, I dare you ” emblazoned on it. |
87,908 | They spin the ferocious punk energy of Perfect Pussy, the magnetic vocals of Broken Twin, absurdly catchy electro-pop from Sylvan Esso and much more. | They spin the ferocious punk energy of Perfect Pussy, the magnetic vocals of | Broken Twin, absurdly catchy electro-pop from Sylvan Esso and much more. |
87,909 | A man who had tried to have sex with a postbox while drunk has been found dead. | A man who had tried to have sex with | a postbox while drunk has been found dead. |
87,910 | Even though there’s only two of them, which makes it sound less like stoic encouragement, and more like a pair of cows fucked up on Metamucil. | Even though there’s only two of them, which makes it sound less like | stoic encouragement, and more like a pair of cows fucked up on Metamucil. |
87,911 | Win goes to Kilala, but only because she is a filthy filthy cheater that used her power of sheer adorbz to take Bramble out with a deadly muzzle to muzzle boop4.) | Win goes to Kilala, but only because she is a filthy filthy cheater that used her | power of sheer adorbz to take Bramble out with a deadly muzzle to muzzle boop4.) |
87,912 | Like for real, shut the fuck up with this constant crying and outrage, it is practically all you do. | Like for real, shut the fuck up with this constant | crying and outrage, it is practically all you do. |
87,913 | “But if you’re gonna be the person who says like ‘they made a marketing decision to make this kind of record to make money’ you can fucking meet me outside and I will punch you in your fucking mouth because that is the wrong fucking answer.” | “But if you’re gonna be the person who says like ‘they made a marketing decision to make this kind of record to | make money’ you can fucking meet me outside and I will punch you in your fucking mouth because that is the wrong fucking answer.” |
87,914 | When she wears the fake boobs and the fake butt, it’s just like extra bonus,” she said. | When she wears the fake boobs and the fake butt, | it’s just like extra bonus,” she said. |
87,915 | According to TMZ, in the hours after the performance at ENMAX Centre Manson dined at a local Denny’s, where around 2:30AM he got into an argument with a group at another table and called one woman a bitch. | According to TMZ, in the hours after the performance at ENMAX Centre Manson dined at a local Denny’s, | where around 2:30AM he got into an argument with a group at another table and called one woman a bitch. |
87,916 | You’ll want to hit every other mesh hole, and every leather hole. | You’ll want to hit every other | mesh hole, and every leather hole. |
87,917 | This shit just about has me reading a damn Bible, which even 2 years ago I would have scoffed at. | This shit just about has me reading a damn Bible, | which even 2 years ago I would have scoffed at. |
87,918 | As she was escorted away in handcuffs she cried hysterically and screamed “f*ck you pigs!” | As she was escorted away in handcuffs she cried | hysterically and screamed “f*ck you pigs!” |
87,919 | The utterly stupid, ridiculous clusterfuck that's in Albany is the perfect example of why some citizens decide not to pay their taxes. | The utterly stupid, ridiculous clusterfuck that's in Albany is the | perfect example of why some citizens decide not to pay their taxes. |
87,920 | It makes me think you’ve sent the same message to a load of other women, which makes you seem desperate, which makes my vagina close up. | It makes me think you’ve sent the same message to a load of other | women, which makes you seem desperate, which makes my vagina close up. |
87,921 | So now with the release of instagram on android, we can look forward to more ephemeromorphs taking shitty pictures. | So now with the release of instagram on android, | we can look forward to more ephemeromorphs taking shitty pictures. |
87,922 | With my solo projects I mash up bits from each and in the process bastardize them both. | With my solo projects I mash up bits from | each and in the process bastardize them both. |
87,923 | The first porn app came to Google Glass on Monday, called — in true tongue-in-cheek form — "Tits and Glass." | The first porn app came to Google Glass on Monday, called — in | true tongue-in-cheek form — "Tits and Glass." |
87,924 | Recent studies are discovering that each generation is becoming increasingly stupid. | Recent studies are discovering that each | generation is becoming increasingly stupid. |
87,925 | Its emotional grasp on me has lead to this silly, overly serious essay about a movie that has Jason Segel’s penis in it. | Its emotional grasp on me has lead to this silly, overly serious | essay about a movie that has Jason Segel’s penis in it. |
87,926 | “He’s a fucking idiot. I’m for his protest. I’m for him taking the knee.”
Maher went through a list of false equivalencies, all of which Maher had said Kaepernick was incorrect to suggest Clinton was as bad as Trump.
Follow Jeff Poor on Twitter @jeff_poor | “He’s a fucking idiot. I’m for his protest. I’m for him taking the knee.”
Maher went through a list | of false equivalencies, all of which Maher had said Kaepernick was incorrect to suggest Clinton was as bad as Trump.
Follow Jeff Poor on Twitter @jeff_poor |
87,927 | Remember, we’re talking about white supremacist terrorists, people running errands on their lunch breaks, or a group of tourists, so if we have to throw a punch or two, then so fucking be it.” | Remember, we’re talking about white supremacist terrorists, people running errands on their lunch breaks, or a group | of tourists, so if we have to throw a punch or two, then so fucking be it.” |
87,928 | And here we go with another idiot criminal doing idiot criminal things. | And here we go with another | idiot criminal doing idiot criminal things. |
87,929 | He allegedly raped and threatened to kill the child’s mother nine years ago. | He allegedly raped and threatened to kill | the child’s mother nine years ago. |
87,930 | The White House, your f***ing White House, your f***ing presidents, they must go! | The White House, your f***ing White House | , your f***ing presidents, they must go! |
87,931 | I turned around, and with a forced smile that made me feel like a 1950s housewives in an infomercial, I asked them: “What’s wrong with whores?” | I turned around, and with a forced smile that made me feel like a 1950s | housewives in an infomercial, I asked them: “What’s wrong with whores?” |
87,932 | and “UGH WALT SHOULD HAVE LET HER DROWN HERSELF” and “I CAN’T WAIT TILL HE KILLS THAT SLUT.” | and “UGH WALT SHOULD HAVE LET HER DROWN HERSELF” | and “I CAN’T WAIT TILL HE KILLS THAT SLUT.” |
87,933 | These include a couple having sex, a woman shaving in the shower with blood running down her leg, a man buying pads at a supermarket, and another woman asking for a pad at a dinner party. | These include a couple having sex, a woman shaving in the shower with blood running down her leg, | a man buying pads at a supermarket, and another woman asking for a pad at a dinner party. |
87,934 | Jason was slow, stupid and awkward, but more or less impossible to kill, and had the distinct benefit of existing in the real world. | Jason was slow, stupid and awkward, but more or less impossible to | kill, and had the distinct benefit of existing in the real world. |
87,935 | Warbits is a turn based strategy for iOS developed by two highly motivated morons. | Warbits is a turn based strategy for | iOS developed by two highly motivated morons. |
87,936 | After he was injected with the drugs, Lockett raised himself on the gurney and said, “Shit is fucking with me.” | After he was injected with the drugs, Lockett raised himself on | the gurney and said, “Shit is fucking with me.” |
87,937 | “I’m going to kill you because you’re innocent,” the confessor promises, words that — with the title — seem to tip Mr. | “I’m going to kill you because you’re innocent,” the | confessor promises, words that — with the title — seem to tip Mr. |
87,938 | “I was huffing and puffing, so my mouth was open, and this damn honeybee flew right in and stung me on the tongue,” he says. | “I was huffing and puffing, so my mouth was open, and this | damn honeybee flew right in and stung me on the tongue,” he says. |
87,939 | Michelle Martens had sex with Gonzales 20 minutes after the murder. | Michelle Martens had sex with Gonzales | 20 minutes after the murder. |
87,940 | Poachers Break Into French Zoo, Kill White Rhino And Steal His Horn | Poachers Break Into French Zoo, | Kill White Rhino And Steal His Horn |
87,941 | Most Filipinos wouldn’t even know how to bake one because we buy that shit at a Red Ribbon and that shit is literally everywhere in the Philippines. | Most Filipinos wouldn’t even know how to bake one because we buy that | shit at a Red Ribbon and that shit is literally everywhere in the Philippines. |
87,942 | Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium and shit, my name is Dr Mona Moore. | Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium | and shit, my name is Dr Mona Moore. |
87,943 | The reality, she said, was a corporate culture that saw staff in training sessions referring to those same people as LTBs - code for "lying, thieving bastards". | The reality, she said, was a corporate culture that saw staff in training sessions | referring to those same people as LTBs - code for "lying, thieving bastards". |
87,944 | of Australia, other places around the world don’t seem to have the close affiliation with the word ‘cunt’, like we do. | of Australia, other places around the world don’t seem to have | the close affiliation with the word ‘cunt’, like we do. |
87,945 | OK, she wanted Blake to negotiate a peace treaty ... between her tits. | OK, she wanted Blake to negotiate | a peace treaty ... between her tits. |
87,946 | Because 2,500 years of Western philosophy and intellectual development has taught us how to study the world and discern facts from bullshit. | Because 2,500 years of Western philosophy and intellectual development has taught | us how to study the world and discern facts from bullshit. |
87,947 | My triggers include(but not limited to): responsibility, maturity, accountability, penis, "grow up", "get a job", etc. | My triggers include(but not limited to): responsibility, maturity, accountability, | penis, "grow up", "get a job", etc. |
87,948 | (CNN) Islamist terror group ISIS has unleashed contempt on both the United States and President Donald Trump in a new audio message, calling the latter a "foolish idiot." | (CNN) Islamist terror group ISIS has unleashed contempt on both the United States and President | Donald Trump in a new audio message, calling the latter a "foolish idiot." |
87,949 | (Oh, crap, is Google going to bust us now for using the word “boob” on here?) | (Oh, crap, is Google going to bust us | now for using the word “boob” on here?) |
87,950 | And if you think they can share fault to some degree then you probably lead a miserable existence as someone who can see the grey area in a world where everything has to be black or white. | And if you think they can share fault to some degree then you probably lead a miserable existence as | someone who can see the grey area in a world where everything has to be black or white. |
87,951 | You can also try making a career out of gaming videos on YouTube and Twitch, but that’s sort of like trying to become a professional athlete—if you’re not already en route by the time you turn 18, you’re fucked. | You can also try making a career out of gaming videos on YouTube and Twitch, but that’s sort of like trying | to become a professional athlete—if you’re not already en route by the time you turn 18, you’re fucked. |
87,952 | There was the black high school kid getting taunted during a football game by students chanting "Ebola," because his parents are originally from Guinea and high school kids are fucking dicks. | There was the black high school kid getting taunted during a football game by students chanting " | Ebola," because his parents are originally from Guinea and high school kids are fucking dicks. |
87,953 | Harman, Dicks, and Thompson are doing the right thing in opposing this. Thompson, in particular, has been pushing for some oversight on this for a long time. We should be applauding efforts to insist on that oversight. | Harman, Dicks, and Thompson are doing the right thing in opposing this. Thompson, in particular, has been | pushing for some oversight on this for a long time. We should be applauding efforts to insist on that oversight. |
87,954 | “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. | “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists | , an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. |
87,955 | Uncyclopedia and its author's are mentally retarded hence no defamation suits can be filed against them | Uncyclopedia and its author's are mentally retarded | hence no defamation suits can be filed against them |
87,956 | Although I really dislike the director's decision to portray Yu Da You as a militarily incompetent idiot, I still love this character to death. | Although I really dislike the director's decision to portray Yu Da You | as a militarily incompetent idiot, I still love this character to death. |
87,957 | Holy shit it's a newsletter out on a Friday! - good stuff from B3tans this week. | Holy shit it's a newsletter out on a | Friday! - good stuff from B3tans this week. |
87,958 | “No matter if you were raised to call it derriere, tush, rear end, or booty, culo is the new epicenter of female sexuality, desire, and empowerment.” | “No matter if you were raised to call it derriere, tush, rear end, | or booty, culo is the new epicenter of female sexuality, desire, and empowerment.” |
87,959 | If you do decide to throw caution to the wind and carry one around anyway it’s a pain in the ass. | If you do decide to throw caution to the wind and | carry one around anyway it’s a pain in the ass. |
87,960 | "Why would a guy with a small penis put his name in giant letters at the top of a skyscraper?" | "Why would a guy with a small penis put his | name in giant letters at the top of a skyscraper?" |
87,961 | “Condoleezza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she’s a bitch,” Trump reportedly said “to wild applause.” | “Condoleezza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she | ’s a bitch,” Trump reportedly said “to wild applause.” |
87,962 | So I’m an advocate of fucking the girl online first to speed the real f-close along all the faster when rubber hits the road. | So I’m an advocate of fucking the girl online first to speed the | real f-close along all the faster when rubber hits the road. |
87,963 | If some random SJW faggots can sell their shit on etsy and retards like damian hearst can charge millions of dollars for a shark in an aquarium and call it art then you can too. | If some random SJW faggots can sell their shit on etsy and retards like damian hearst can charge | millions of dollars for a shark in an aquarium and call it art then you can too. |
87,964 | But there is one massive hiccup with this approach: Gamers are absolutely fucking hating it. | But there is one massive hiccup with this | approach: Gamers are absolutely fucking hating it. |
87,965 | "You have never, ever in your career seen a wealthy adult who is independent, has been a presidential candidate, suck up at the rate that Mitt Romney is sucking up," Gingrich said. | "You have never, ever in your career seen a wealthy adult who is independent, has been | a presidential candidate, suck up at the rate that Mitt Romney is sucking up," Gingrich said. |
87,966 | But once you start touting your “traditional values” and spit up anti-gay bile from the Bible, you deserve to be outed for your hypocrisy. | But once you start touting your “traditional values” and spit up anti- | gay bile from the Bible, you deserve to be outed for your hypocrisy. |
87,967 | “You have people saying ‘you’re a hateful bigot, I hope you die,’ ” he said. | “You have people saying ‘you’re a hateful bigot | , I hope you die,’ ” he said. |
87,968 | It also has the advantage of allowing transgender men to masturbate without touching their genitals directly, something Angel hopes will help individuals who don't feel comfortable with their own body. | It also has the advantage of allowing transgender men to masturbate without touching their genitals directly | , something Angel hopes will help individuals who don't feel comfortable with their own body. |
87,969 | First grotesque anal grafted stills for Tom Six's HUMAN CENTIPEDE quietearth [Celluloid 07.06.09] horror comedy | First grotesque anal grafted stills for Tom Six's | HUMAN CENTIPEDE quietearth [Celluloid 07.06.09] horror comedy |
87,970 | Don’t let the 2009-era headline fool you, this thing is actually a case study of one, totally screwed, lower tier law school. | Don’t let the 2009-era headline fool you, this thing is actually | a case study of one, totally screwed, lower tier law school. |
87,971 | Unfortunately, as humans, we have stupid brains, and they’re connected to stupid eyes. | Unfortunately, as humans, we have stupid brains | , and they’re connected to stupid eyes. |
87,972 | While this episode is clearly dumb as all hell, it has one key point of interest. | While this episode is clearly dumb as all hell | , it has one key point of interest. |
87,973 | “Don’t be stupid, what possible reason would that nice UKIP man have for lying to me?”
Get your funny EU referendum t-shirts here | “Don’t be stupid, what possible reason would that nice UKIP man have | for lying to me?”
Get your funny EU referendum t-shirts here |
87,974 | “Very exciting, a woman doing this … I hope that hurt extra bad because in some Arab countries women can’t even drive.” | “Very exciting, a woman doing this … I hope that hurt | extra bad because in some Arab countries women can’t even drive.” |
87,975 | Listen up, “stupid” bitter clingers in flyover America: they’ve got your number. | Listen up, “stupid” bitter clingers in | flyover America: they’ve got your number. |
87,976 | The glamorous lifestyle a horny male writer dreams of fucking can be yours! | The glamorous lifestyle a horny male writer | dreams of fucking can be yours! |
87,977 | While faggots are not mentioned specifically, one would have to go through mental gymnastics to conclude that Lenin doesn't have in mind faggots, along with other sexual degenerates. | While faggots are not mentioned specifically, one would have to go through mental gymnastics to | conclude that Lenin doesn't have in mind faggots, along with other sexual degenerates. |
87,978 | Some bumped right up at the 500-word limit, telling tales of a post-Reaper universe or of how Sir Isaac Newton really is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. | Some bumped right up at the 500-word limit, telling tales of a post-Reaper universe | or of how Sir Isaac Newton really is the deadliest son of a bitch in space. |
87,979 | Shortly afterward, /u/geckos100 declared "Pinguism" a communist ideology, and in early 2016 a main tagline for Pingu Communism was born from /u/SilkhyBanter where Pingu declares "I will make Stalin look like a Fucking Anarchist." | Shortly afterward, /u/geckos100 declared "Pinguism" a communist ideology, and in early 2016 a main tagline for | Pingu Communism was born from /u/SilkhyBanter where Pingu declares "I will make Stalin look like a Fucking Anarchist." |
87,980 | Acronym: Bitch With Ugly Hair Who I Hate (“You know Jessica…that BWUHWIH on the second floor who wears green all the time…” ) | Acronym: Bitch With Ugly Hair Who I Hate (“You know Jessica… | that BWUHWIH on the second floor who wears green all the time…” ) |
87,981 | When Ms Telford attempted to confront Abdulla over his actions, he told her to “shut the f*** up” and walked off, The Shields Gazette reported. | When Ms Telford attempted to confront Abdulla over his actions, he told her to “ | shut the f*** up” and walked off, The Shields Gazette reported. |
87,982 | A white dweeb voice asks what the boys think of Donald Trump and they shout "Man, fuck Donald Trump" in unison and make fun of his hair. | A white dweeb voice asks what the boys think of Donald Trump and they shout | "Man, fuck Donald Trump" in unison and make fun of his hair. |
87,983 | Which, of course, begs the question, “Who the fucking fuck is Fred Mlynarski?” | Which, of course, begs the question, | “Who the fucking fuck is Fred Mlynarski?” |
87,984 | Hey guys, this is Matt with operationawesomelife.com, and I want to shoot a video about, Change Your Attitude Change Your Life. | Hey guys, this is Matt with operationawesomelife.com, and I want | to shoot a video about, Change Your Attitude Change Your Life. |
87,985 | Using one of their favorite weapons, they doxed the girls (that is, posted their personal information), reprimanding them: “Don’t fuck with the kittens.” | Using one of their favorite weapons, they doxed the girls (that is, posted | their personal information), reprimanding them: “Don’t fuck with the kittens.” |
87,986 | Obama tweeted over a creepy video of him peddling the pile of garbage he calls Obamacare, encouraging people to sign up for this crap! | Obama tweeted over a creepy video of him peddling the pile of garbage | he calls Obamacare, encouraging people to sign up for this crap! |
87,987 | One reason could be his studies in the field of love, including videos advocating a dude’s “responsibility” to “date hot bitches”: | One reason could be his studies in the field of love, including videos | advocating a dude’s “responsibility” to “date hot bitches”: |
87,988 | “gosh I’m sorry that people are giving you shit just because you’re claiming to be a guy who murdered thirteen unarmed kids in real life only thirteen years ago | “gosh I’m sorry that people are giving you shit just because you’re claiming | to be a guy who murdered thirteen unarmed kids in real life only thirteen years ago |
87,989 | Have a laugh at Beck and Limbaugh and the NRA, but respect their ability to get moron followers to dial the phone. | Have a laugh at Beck and Limbaugh and the NRA, but | respect their ability to get moron followers to dial the phone. |
87,990 | Then back to boring boring legal work as a underdog to some schmuck sacramento attorney who pays me shit wages. | Then back to boring boring legal work as a underdog | to some schmuck sacramento attorney who pays me shit wages. |
87,991 | Well, piece your brain back together because Tonya "Stop the Presses" Reiman has some advice for using your body to catch a man (assuming, of course, that your vagina dentata doesn't do it first). | Well, piece your brain back together because Tonya "Stop the Presses" Reiman has some advice for using your | body to catch a man (assuming, of course, that your vagina dentata doesn't do it first). |
87,992 | RuPaul Charles, at this point on a first-name basis with the world much like his fellow “Unapologetic Bitch,” Madonna, is nothing if not direct. | RuPaul Charles, at this point on a first-name basis with the world much | like his fellow “Unapologetic Bitch,” Madonna, is nothing if not direct. |
87,993 | It’s the worst fucking experience in the world, it feels like at any time I could faint or completely lose control of my physical functionality. | It’s the worst fucking experience in the world, it feels like at | any time I could faint or completely lose control of my physical functionality. |
87,994 | Last year, there were stripper rumors, feuds, bitch switching, trips and more rumors and feuds over rumors. | Last year, there were stripper rumors, feuds, bitch | switching, trips and more rumors and feuds over rumors. |
87,995 | I hate putting a lot of money into something I probably won’t use, but on the flip side I want to have stuff good enough to save my ass in case TSHTF and I DO need to use the kit. | I hate putting a lot of money into something I probably won’t use, but on the flip side I | want to have stuff good enough to save my ass in case TSHTF and I DO need to use the kit. |
87,996 | Like "I don't give a shit if you stacked armor on alistar ult this shit will fuck you up so get the hell out of the way" hard. | Like "I don't give a shit if you stacked armor on alistar ult this | shit will fuck you up so get the hell out of the way" hard. |
87,997 | CCC - " 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. | CCC - " 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate | stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. |
87,998 | “Nobody gives a shit; nobody believes in it,” he says of the facility’s renowned history as a spooky haunt. | “Nobody gives a shit; nobody believes in it,” | he says of the facility’s renowned history as a spooky haunt. |
87,999 | Bo’s stubby little legs didn’t allow him to right himself before Arwen jumped on him, front paws slamming into his saggy basset balls, squatted over his face, and peed on him. | Bo’s stubby little legs didn’t allow him to right himself before Arwen jumped on him, | front paws slamming into his saggy basset balls, squatted over his face, and peed on him. |
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