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88,500
Summary : Two star-crossed soon to be homeless idiots, devise the perfect plan to bring home the cheddar.
Summary : Two star-crossed soon to be homeless idiots
, devise the perfect plan to bring home the cheddar.
88,501
The great thing about having modern, trusting parents is that they will support nearly any career decision you make, no matter how idiotic.
The great thing about having modern, trusting parents is that they will
support nearly any career decision you make, no matter how idiotic.
88,502
I think that [comic writer] Mark [Millar] is writing Kick-Ass 2 in a couple of weeks, and he wants to change Red Mist’s name to the Motherfucker, which I think is hilarious.
I think that [comic writer] Mark [Millar] is writing Kick-Ass 2 in a couple of
weeks, and he wants to change Red Mist’s name to the Motherfucker, which I think is hilarious.
88,503
Oleg Belov (right), 51, confessed to killing his wife Yulia (left), 32, and his six children (pictured) in a rage after she cut his hair in a 'foolish' parrot style
Oleg Belov (right), 51, confessed to killing his wife Yulia (left), 32, and
his six children (pictured) in a rage after she cut his hair in a 'foolish' parrot style
88,504
She said the man tied her hands together, undressed her, put on a condom and raped her.
She said the man tied her hands together, undressed
her, put on a condom and raped her.
88,505
"If you're listening, Bubba, come here to Vegas and I'll tell it to your frickin face," Rico said.
"If you're listening, Bubba, come here to Vegas and
I'll tell it to your frickin face," Rico said.
88,506
Let me be very clear, EVERY Jew steadfastly believes that ALL non-Jews should be killed.
Let me be very clear, EVERY Jew steadfastly
believes that ALL non-Jews should be killed.
88,507
In a 2012 appearance on Chappelle Show co-creator Neal Brennan's The Champs podcast, he admonished his interviewer for asking too many personal questions: "The past shouldn't mean shit."
In a 2012 appearance on Chappelle Show co-creator Neal Brennan's The Champs podcast, he
admonished his interviewer for asking too many personal questions: "The past shouldn't mean shit."
88,508
Here the crusading liberal journalists are deeply foolish or deeply corrupt, or both.
Here the crusading liberal journalists are deeply
foolish or deeply corrupt, or both.
88,509
So scroll down, sit back, and quit whining about how music used to be better back in your day, and how MTV sucks now.
So scroll down, sit back, and quit whining about how music used
to be better back in your day, and how MTV sucks now.
88,510
So far, with Republican control of Congress, he’s repealed Obamaca—ah, shit, never mind.
So far, with Republican control of Congress, he
’s repealed Obamaca—ah, shit, never mind.
88,511
"You will be contacted when this happens so you know we are for fucking real."
"You will be contacted when this happens so
you know we are for fucking real."
88,512
If you're a female customer who goes to Drew's Pizzeria in Champaign, you can apparently flash your boobs and walk away with some free pizza.
If you're a female customer who goes to Drew's Pizzeria in Champaign
, you can apparently flash your boobs and walk away with some free pizza.
88,513
6:6 Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am YHWH, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments:
6:6 Wherefore say unto the children of Israel, I am YHWH, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians
, and I will rid you out of their bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm, and with great judgments:
88,514
Milwaukee police suspect Otis Lockett of illegally having a gun, so they got a warrant to photograph his penis.
Milwaukee police suspect Otis Lockett of illegally having a gun
, so they got a warrant to photograph his penis.
88,515
So I'm thinking about getting my penis tattooed, though I'm not entirely sure what I would like, or even if I'm 100% that I want to do it.
So I'm thinking about getting my penis tattooed, though I'm not entirely sure what
I would like, or even if I'm 100% that I want to do it.
88,516
He is praying for ‘Allah’ to bring Sharia law to the U.S. while the idiot liberals in the room bow their heads in prayer.
He is praying for ‘Allah’ to bring Sharia law to the
U.S. while the idiot liberals in the room bow their heads in prayer.
88,517
If you want know what happened, and also find out which type of apple is scientifically mealy as fuck, pull out your credit card and buy Biggest Solution in the Universe, Bonus Episode 13 now
If you want know what happened, and also find out which type of apple is scientifically mealy as
fuck, pull out your credit card and buy Biggest Solution in the Universe, Bonus Episode 13 now
88,518
or additional stupid ideas, except this was 40,000 college students simultaneously realizing their power to be obnoxious.
or additional stupid ideas, except this was 40,000
college students simultaneously realizing their power to be obnoxious.
88,519
Just a note to let you know that not all the mods are in agreement on this whole bullshit you’ve started with Redd, and since I can’t speak for AMP, I’m speaking for myself on this situation because fuck you for hurting Redd.
Just a note to let you know that not all the mods are in agreement on this whole bullshit you’ve started with Redd
, and since I can’t speak for AMP, I’m speaking for myself on this situation because fuck you for hurting Redd.
88,520
In this sunken hell, the idea of an area being “secured” is rel­a­tive, but I’ve cleared out the lobby, the stairs, the shops on the level above and dealt with that crazy son of a bitch who was throw­ing around Molotovs.
In this sunken hell, the idea of an area being “secured” is rel­a­tive, but I’ve cleared out the lobby
, the stairs, the shops on the level above and dealt with that crazy son of a bitch who was throw­ing around Molotovs.
88,521
I have personally seen men go to prision because their addiction to porn influenced them to do really stupid things as they attempted to ratchet up the buzz they got from porn.
I have personally seen men go to prision because their addiction to porn influenced them to
do really stupid things as they attempted to ratchet up the buzz they got from porn.
88,522
An independent Queensland senator has threatened to grab the Prime Minister's genitals — and possibly stick a finger up his backside — if he does not limit coal seam gas (CSG) exploration.
An independent Queensland senator has threatened to grab the Prime Minister's genitals — and possibly stick a
finger up his backside — if he does not limit coal seam gas (CSG) exploration.
88,523
Are the homosexuals finally going to take control of our culture and push their depraved lifestyle on our children and families?
Are the homosexuals finally going to take control of our culture
and push their depraved lifestyle on our children and families?
88,524
Hook me, flatten me, fuck me out of my senses with your first line.
Hook me, flatten me, fuck me
out of my senses with your first line.
88,525
That smirking bastard brought mankind and electricity together when people still feared their goats were the devil, so it’s reasonable to think he can catch lightning in a bottle with Demetrious Johnson and T.J.
That smirking bastard brought mankind and electricity together when people still feared their goats were the devil,
so it’s reasonable to think he can catch lightning in a bottle with Demetrious Johnson and T.J.
88,526
When I was born, my dick looked like any other baby boy's—tiny and pink, bobbing around on top of a big set of balls like an elf hat.
When I was born, my dick looked like any other baby boy's—tiny and
pink, bobbing around on top of a big set of balls like an elf hat.
88,527
They really don’t give a fuck what’s good for us, what we like, or what we think.
They really don’t give a fuck what’s good for
us, what we like, or what we think.
88,528
For this is full-bodied, and way better than that shit on the mess decks.”
For this is full-bodied, and way
better than that shit on the mess decks.”
88,529
Democrats are rewriting our vocabulary, but a red commie rat is still a red commie rat at the end of the day.
Democrats are rewriting our vocabulary, but a red commie rat is
still a red commie rat at the end of the day.
88,530
Trump is a despicable loose cannon who will likely get us into World War III with his huge ego, and Clinton is dishonest and untrustworthy.
Trump is a despicable loose cannon who will likely get us into World
War III with his huge ego, and Clinton is dishonest and untrustworthy.
88,531
His attackers laugh and shout “f*ck Donald Trump” and “f*ck white people” as they kick and punch him and cut into his forehead with a knife.
His attackers laugh and shout “f*ck Donald Trump” and “f*ck white people
” as they kick and punch him and cut into his forehead with a knife.
88,532
This past Saturday afternoon some shit jumped off on the Brooklyn bound L train.
This past Saturday afternoon some shit jumped
off on the Brooklyn bound L train.
88,533
And overseas, Simpson added, the Americans are considered killers.
And overseas, Simpson added,
the Americans are considered killers.
88,534
In a clip of the video presented to Bell on Wednesday, a Trump supporter could be heard yelling “Fuck that n****r” in reference to President Barack Obama.
In a clip of the video presented to Bell on Wednesday, a Trump supporter
could be heard yelling “Fuck that n****r” in reference to President Barack Obama.
88,535
Today he has more than 50 ounces of shit in a container besides his bed.
Today he has more than 50 ounces of
shit in a container besides his bed.
88,536
I’ll just be sobbing in the corner for coming up with this shit.
I’ll just be sobbing in the
corner for coming up with this shit.
88,537
Sign says those who vote for Stokes, Obama ‘too stupid to own a gun’
Sign says those who vote for Stokes,
Obama ‘too stupid to own a gun’
88,538
“However, others are stupid like pigs, they go around making public speeches, accusing the government of trying to lock Taiwan’s economy into China’s and citing this as a reason to be anti-China,” he wrote.
“However, others are stupid like pigs, they go around making public speeches, accusing the government of trying to
lock Taiwan’s economy into China’s and citing this as a reason to be anti-China,” he wrote.
88,539
“There are a lot of stupid people in Toronto and Hamilton, who are out of touch with reality.
“There are a lot of stupid people in Toronto
and Hamilton, who are out of touch with reality.
88,540
But Trump’s platform isn’t abolishing Obamacare or lowering taxes or kicking more ass in the Middle East.
But Trump’s platform isn’t abolishing Obamacare or lowering
taxes or kicking more ass in the Middle East.
88,541
It takes the pressure off of needing to masturbate, and kind of gives me this super “ready for action” feeling.
It takes the pressure off of needing to masturbate, and kind
of gives me this super “ready for action” feeling.
88,542
And, in explaining that the voter ID law was intended to “kick Democrats in the butt,” he shrugged, “If it hurts a bunch of lazy blacks that want the government to give them everything, so be it.”
And, in explaining that the voter ID law was intended to “kick Democrats in the butt,” he shrugged,
“If it hurts a bunch of lazy blacks that want the government to give them everything, so be it.”
88,543
Nutscaping is a photo-taking trend which involves dropping your trousers, whipping out some testicles (yours, if you have them), and gently hovering above the camera so your balls hang down like a majestic moon in the sky.
Nutscaping is a photo-taking trend which involves dropping your trousers, whipping out some testicles (yours, if you
have them), and gently hovering above the camera so your balls hang down like a majestic moon in the sky.
88,544
7ckngMad: "I've never believed in the metagame, the word to me is bullshit"
7ckngMad: "I've never believed in the
metagame, the word to me is bullshit"
88,545
The unidentified man from China somehow pushed the ring, which is believed to have been a sex toy, around his penis – and then tried to get it off.
The unidentified man from China somehow pushed the ring, which is believed to have been
a sex toy, around his penis – and then tried to get it off.
88,546
When a guy gets around, he is called a player, or at worst, he is jokingly called a man-whore.
When a guy gets around, he is called a player,
or at worst, he is jokingly called a man-whore.
88,547
And as you're laughing at J.D.'s hilarious sexual escapades, a dark void festers in the deepest recesses of his forever hungering soul that not even a perpetual gauntlet of fucking can fill.
And as you're laughing at J.D.'s hilarious sexual escapades, a dark void festers in the
deepest recesses of his forever hungering soul that not even a perpetual gauntlet of fucking can fill.
88,548
Demonstrations showing solidarity for the Punk band have sprung up worldwide on the day of Pussy Riot’s verdict.
Demonstrations showing solidarity for the Punk band have sprung up
worldwide on the day of Pussy Riot’s verdict.
88,549
Dirty boy Pepys got in trouble with his wife, Elizabeth, as a result of being unclean (she had gone to a public bathhouse) and she, rightly, was fed up with him being smelly (he was already kind of pervy):
Dirty boy Pepys got in trouble with his wife, Elizabeth, as a result of being unclean (she had gone to a
public bathhouse) and she, rightly, was fed up with him being smelly (he was already kind of pervy):
88,550
He once famously recounted that one trip left him feeling like a 'giant penis launching off the Earth like a spaceship'.
He once famously recounted that one trip left him feeling like a
'giant penis launching off the Earth like a spaceship'.
88,551
“We Don’t Hate Sluts; We Just Recognize Their Low Value,” he declares in the title of his thousand-word post, apparently forgetting that “disdain” is in fact a synonym for “hate.”
“We Don’t Hate Sluts; We Just Recognize Their Low Value,” he declares in the title of
his thousand-word post, apparently forgetting that “disdain” is in fact a synonym for “hate.”
88,552
Deputies said the boy admitted to smoking pot with his mother out of a "wood penis shaped pipe" on several occasions.
Deputies said the boy admitted to smoking pot with his mother out
of a "wood penis shaped pipe" on several occasions.
88,553
Holy crap, what a way to find out that you likely failed the bar exam.
Holy crap, what a way to find
out that you likely failed the bar exam.
88,554
PPS; Wait, holy shit, “sans jaws” actually makes sense, I accidentally made a really damn great unintentional pun??
PPS; Wait, holy shit, “sans jaws” actually makes
sense, I accidentally made a really damn great unintentional pun??
88,555
"She's an idiot, just like her sign says," Kelley said as she watched Hardin lean against a fence, her head down and her eyes hidden by dark glasses.
"She's an idiot, just like her sign says," Kelley said as she
watched Hardin lean against a fence, her head down and her eyes hidden by dark glasses.
88,556
"I like Doritos, I like dancing in my underwear, I like having sex with girls...
"I like Doritos, I like dancing in
my underwear, I like having sex with girls...
88,557
Anyway, to those wingnuts, and Liz Cheney, my response is: suck on this.
Anyway, to those wingnuts, and Liz Cheney
, my response is: suck on this.
88,558
In this way, it measures the blood flow to the vagina and finds out, at a primitive level, what turns women on.
In this way, it measures the blood flow to the vagina and
finds out, at a primitive level, what turns women on.
88,559
According to Daz, the production on that track is too similar to his on "Who Got Some Gangsta Shit" to not be a blatant rip.
According to Daz, the production on that track is too similar to his
on "Who Got Some Gangsta Shit" to not be a blatant rip.
88,560
Long story short: they think people deserve to die cruel deaths if they don’t have a shitty taste in music.
Long story short: they think people deserve to die cruel
deaths if they don’t have a shitty taste in music.
88,561
If she tries to argue, just calmly state that its science you learned off the Internet, second-hand from a comedy site that shits irrefutable!)
If she tries to argue, just calmly state that its science you learned off
the Internet, second-hand from a comedy site that shits irrefutable!)
88,562
But Trump’s triumph should convince even Clinton backers that the president-elect is a master persuader rather than a lucky idiot.
But Trump’s triumph should convince even Clinton backers that the president
-elect is a master persuader rather than a lucky idiot.
88,563
CNN's KFile later reported that Trump had lewd conversations with radio host Howard Stern over the course of 17 years; in one, Trump agreed to Stern's description of Ivanka Trump as a "piece of ass."
CNN's KFile later reported that Trump had lewd conversations with radio host Howard Stern over the course of 17 years
; in one, Trump agreed to Stern's description of Ivanka Trump as a "piece of ass."
88,564
Comedian recently threw a heckler out of her show for shouting 'show us your tits'
Comedian recently threw a heckler out of her
show for shouting 'show us your tits'
88,565
They kick ass at the bait-and-switch, particularly with their own people.
They kick ass at the bait-and
-switch, particularly with their own people.
88,566
Why, get two of course, and force them to mate and reproduce yet more dull, retarded spawn.
Why, get two of course, and force them
to mate and reproduce yet more dull, retarded spawn.
88,567
In the year that we have been together, I have given you anal sex 5 or 6 times.
In the year that we have been together, I
have given you anal sex 5 or 6 times.
88,568
Nigger often accompanied Gibson on training flights[1] and was a great favourite of the members of both 106 and 617 Squadrons.
Nigger often accompanied Gibson on training flights[1] and was a
great favourite of the members of both 106 and 617 Squadrons.
88,569
They work long grueling hours and often wait on whiny, demanding bastards who think that just because they're paying for a meal, it entitles them to act like they're royalty.
They work long grueling hours and often wait on whiny, demanding bastards who think that just
because they're paying for a meal, it entitles them to act like they're royalty.
88,570
"I'm bisexual and I gave a damn because one hate crime is committed approximately every hour of every day in this country."
"I'm bisexual and I gave a damn because one hate crime
is committed approximately every hour of every day in this country."
88,571
An episiotomy is a surgical cut from the vagina to the anus, on the area of a woman’s body known as the perineum.
An episiotomy is a surgical cut from the vagina to the anus,
on the area of a woman’s body known as the perineum.
88,572
He said that if the religion is 5,000 years old then it’s “complete fucking garbage”.
He said that if the religion is 5,000 years
old then it’s “complete fucking garbage”.
88,573
It's just a massive pain in the ass on top of the other bitingly real pains you're feeling elsewhere.
It's just a massive pain in the ass on top
of the other bitingly real pains you're feeling elsewhere.
88,574
The E train just assed me out, shit has me dumb late for work this morning — Happi (@manofmaany) October 21, 2015
The E train just assed me out, shit has me dumb late
for work this morning — Happi (@manofmaany) October 21, 2015
88,575
I would be fine with them denying my visa for a valid reason, but they are either lying, ignorant, or stupid when they claim that I plan to secretly overstay my visa and live as an illegal immigrant in the USA.”
I would be fine with them denying my visa for a valid reason, but they are either lying, ignorant, or
stupid when they claim that I plan to secretly overstay my visa and live as an illegal immigrant in the USA.”
88,576
Jeremy Bentham was an English philosopher who will be forever known to critical theorists as “that asshole that invented the panopticon.”
Jeremy Bentham was an English philosopher who will be forever known to
critical theorists as “that asshole that invented the panopticon.”
88,577
His father remarked, “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat-catching and you will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family.”
His father remarked, “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat
-catching and you will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family.”
88,578
Roweena Azur [N0FUX]: what u gonna do Roweena Azur [N0FUX]: seriosuly June Ting[SOUND|US]: The more you talk, the stupider you sound.
Roweena Azur [N0FUX]: what u gonna do Roweena Azur [N0FUX]
: seriosuly June Ting[SOUND|US]: The more you talk, the stupider you sound.
88,579
It was nothing more than a scam and he was 16-years-old, in love with the fact that he had made $100,000 in three months based off of the stupidity of Canadians.
It was nothing more than a scam and he was 16-years-old, in love with the
fact that he had made $100,000 in three months based off of the stupidity of Canadians.
88,580
On Dec. 26, while her husband was on the toilet, Hamilton grabbed and pulled on his genitals while biting his face.
On Dec. 26, while her husband was on the toilet,
Hamilton grabbed and pulled on his genitals while biting his face.
88,581
Whether it was awkwardly-colored Camouflage shorts or Looney Tunes t-shirts, it was unmistakable: Lesson III: Poor people intentionally dress shitty.
Whether it was awkwardly-colored Camouflage shorts or Looney Tunes t-shirts
, it was unmistakable: Lesson III: Poor people intentionally dress shitty.
88,582
Well, maybe medium Bullshit, because I don’t care for Bullshit sitting on my chest.
Well, maybe medium Bullshit, because I do
n’t care for Bullshit sitting on my chest.
88,583
A Chipotle restaurant in State College, PA, near Penn State University, has closed unexpectedly, because the workers were like, "fuck this job."
A Chipotle restaurant in State College, PA, near Penn State University, has
closed unexpectedly, because the workers were like, "fuck this job."
88,584
“Whoever wrote ‘He rediscovers love of the road’ is a fucking imbecile,” Carolla told TheWrap of one popular-yet-defective description.
“Whoever wrote ‘He rediscovers love of the road’ is a fucking
imbecile,” Carolla told TheWrap of one popular-yet-defective description.
88,585
You’ll never guess who showed up at “Fuck the Cops” night at Pulse Nightclub.
You’ll never guess who showed up at “
Fuck the Cops” night at Pulse Nightclub.
88,586
Amid his Astana team's recent spate of doping positives, Tour de France winner Vincenzo Nibali brands dopers as 'stupid'
Amid his Astana team's recent spate of doping positives,
Tour de France winner Vincenzo Nibali brands dopers as 'stupid'
88,587
It was a liberal Harvard professor, though, who took the prize for single dumbest tweet.
It was a liberal Harvard professor, though,
who took the prize for single dumbest tweet.
88,588
Anything even marginally appealing about Vice Principals is overwhelmed by the witless ugliness, rampant stupidity and utter cluelessness about the times in which we live.
Anything even marginally appealing about Vice Principals is overwhelmed by the witless ugliness
, rampant stupidity and utter cluelessness about the times in which we live.
88,589
When it comes to ACC Football it doesn’t take an idiot to realize that the Atlantic Division is the meat of the conference.
When it comes to ACC Football it doesn’t take an idiot
to realize that the Atlantic Division is the meat of the conference.
88,590
"Fuck Patriarchy, Fuck Racism, Fuck Neoliberalism, Fuck the System that continuously reminds us of our blackness and how we are inferior to the white man.
"Fuck Patriarchy, Fuck Racism, Fuck Neoliberalism, Fuck the System that continuously
reminds us of our blackness and how we are inferior to the white man.
88,591
Anyone that tells you "oh he could do it because he's Kevin Smith"—tell 'em horseshit, man.
Anyone that tells you "oh he could do it
because he's Kevin Smith"—tell 'em horseshit, man.
88,592
Turning my head to see three tanned Jersey girls bellow “Hell yeah nigga!,” I was perplexed.
Turning my head to see three tanned Jersey girls bellow
“Hell yeah nigga!,” I was perplexed.
88,593
Many responded like commenter @_zakiriya_ : “Bitch wtf is this?”
Many responded like commenter @_zakiriya_ :
“Bitch wtf is this?”
88,594
He referred to this recollection as an “oh shit” moment and decided to delete the emails, all the while knowing the preservation order existed.
He referred to this recollection as an “oh shit” moment and decided
to delete the emails, all the while knowing the preservation order existed.
88,595
To my wife (herself a veteran of radio), it’s a response of such fabulous stupidity that, even now, it makes her howl with scorn.
To my wife (herself a veteran of radio), it’s a response
of such fabulous stupidity that, even now, it makes her howl with scorn.
88,596
Full of tiny mannerisms, non-sequiturs, and misunderstandings, he is so cut from life that you could slap him across the face, and in fact, you might just want to during his more idiotic moments.
Full of tiny mannerisms, non-sequiturs, and misunderstandings, he is so cut from life that you could
slap him across the face, and in fact, you might just want to during his more idiotic moments.
88,597
Channel your inner mad scientist with this Bloody Brain Shooter.
Channel your inner mad scientist
with this Bloody Brain Shooter.
88,598
This idiotic snowflake-ism was promoted widely among right-wingers.
This idiotic snowflake-ism was
promoted widely among right-wingers.
88,599
The father was eating lunch at the restaurant on Saturday when his infant daughter came out of the playground with a used condom in her mouth.
The father was eating lunch at the restaurant on Saturday when his infant
daughter came out of the playground with a used condom in her mouth.