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93,700
The moment he asked me to dance in a crowded club—instead of simply securing his groin area to my ass without permission—I knew I was in love.
The moment he asked me to dance in a crowded club—instead of simply securing
his groin area to my ass without permission—I knew I was in love.
93,701
If you're blessed with Asian genes, tack on a few more: lactose intolerance, flat ass and alcohol-induced red face.
If you're blessed with Asian genes, tack on a few more
: lactose intolerance, flat ass and alcohol-induced red face.
93,702
According to basic math, that would mean fucking is the same as making love — yet they are seen as polar opposites, the former being “dirty” and “raunchy” and the latter being “pure” and “beautiful.”
According to basic math, that would mean fucking is the same as making love — yet they are seen as polar opposites
, the former being “dirty” and “raunchy” and the latter being “pure” and “beautiful.”
93,703
What the fuck is the point in me and other women standing in solidarity with men if they are foolish enough to keep falling hook line and sinker for the charms of some women?
What the fuck is the point in me and other women standing in solidarity with men if
they are foolish enough to keep falling hook line and sinker for the charms of some women?
93,704
I took this picture and immediately after the cow on the left took a shit!
I took this picture and immediately after the
cow on the left took a shit!
93,705
Andre-Louis Moreau is a nobleman's bastard in the days of the French revolution.
Andre-Louis Moreau is a nobleman's
bastard in the days of the French revolution.
93,706
Fish responded, "Your games just suck," and went on to criticize Japanese development.
Fish responded, "Your games just suck,
" and went on to criticize Japanese development.
93,707
Tickets go on sale this Friday April 4th at 10AM local time with the 72 Hour Get Off Your Ass special offer on reserved and lawn tickets.
Tickets go on sale this Friday April 4th at 10AM local time with the
72 Hour Get Off Your Ass special offer on reserved and lawn tickets.
93,708
Louis C.K. on Friday admitted to masturbating in front of women, a day after the New York Times published stories from five women accusing the comedian of sexual misconduct.
Louis C.K. on Friday admitted to masturbating in front of women, a day after
the New York Times published stories from five women accusing the comedian of sexual misconduct.
93,709
Honey, you did nothing to deserve that dick — you were just born with it.
Honey, you did nothing to deserve that
dick — you were just born with it.
93,710
The sort of people who eliminated all bullshit within a 10 foot radius of their presence.
The sort of people who eliminated all bullshit
within a 10 foot radius of their presence.
93,711
The track, titled "Kiss My Rebel Ass", will reportedly be available as an instant download from both musicians' web sites on July 17.
The track, titled "Kiss My Rebel Ass", will reportedly be
available as an instant download from both musicians' web sites on July 17.
93,712
“I’m not sure what’s more depressing, the fact this stuff is happening to foreigners so close to the Olympic Games or the fact that Brazilians have to live in a society that enables this absolute bullshit on a daily basis.
“I’m not sure what’s more depressing, the fact this stuff is happening to foreigners so close to the
Olympic Games or the fact that Brazilians have to live in a society that enables this absolute bullshit on a daily basis.
93,713
"She makes stupid feminist speeches at UN, and now her nudes will be online, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH," commented a third.
"She makes stupid feminist speeches at UN, and now her
nudes will be online, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH," commented a third.
93,714
Cue jeremiads on Twitter against our stupid, selfish, vacuous age.
Cue jeremiads on Twitter against our
stupid, selfish, vacuous age.
93,715
Your list is TRASH and YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT about the Challenges.”
Your list is TRASH and YOU DON’T
KNOW SHIT about the Challenges.”
93,716
Can we block a merger just because the two companies involved are jerks?
Can we block a merger just because
the two companies involved are jerks?
93,717
They would stick their penises through the food slots in cell doors.
They would stick their penises through
the food slots in cell doors.
93,718
Two transwomen responded by providing a detailed description of how they would rape her, sending her pictures of their genitals.
Two transwomen responded by providing a detailed description of how they
would rape her, sending her pictures of their genitals.
93,719
Don't be fooled by these accusations or the dollar amount in the headlines cause I put that on my favorite aunties poodle this broad ain't gettin shit !
Don't be fooled by these accusations or the dollar amount in the headlines cause
I put that on my favorite aunties poodle this broad ain't gettin shit !
93,720
You heard him right: You pee in a pool, and you essentially turn it into a weapon of mass destruction.
You heard him right: You pee in a pool,
and you essentially turn it into a weapon of mass destruction.
93,721
They called her a drunk, a prostitute, a pornographer, a liar, mentally unstable -- impugning her honor and that of her family.
They called her a drunk, a prostitute, a pornographer, a
liar, mentally unstable -- impugning her honor and that of her family.
93,722
Go out, make yourself insensible on Disaronno, bang your head on something and wake up with an empty wallet and a sore arse on Monday morning ready for another five days of absurd life-wasting, but for Christ’s sake don’t stay in.
Go out, make yourself insensible on Disaronno, bang your head on something and wake up with an empty wallet and a sore
arse on Monday morning ready for another five days of absurd life-wasting, but for Christ’s sake don’t stay in.
93,723
I mean, there are only so many times you can drive a landmass through time before that shit just becomes the 9-5.
I mean, there are only so many times you can drive a
landmass through time before that shit just becomes the 9-5.
93,724
The workers testified to the Commission that Rapps yelled at them, saying, “You Chinese eat like pigs!”
The workers testified to the Commission that Rapps yelled at them
, saying, “You Chinese eat like pigs!”
93,725
“Allahu Akbar,” they shouted, as they lined up students and murdered them with single bullets to the head.
“Allahu Akbar,” they shouted, as they lined
up students and murdered them with single bullets to the head.
93,726
Responding to Ben Carson's remarks this week that being gay is a choice, columnist Dan Savage invited the Republican presidential prospect to "suck my dick" to prove it.
Responding to Ben Carson's remarks this week that being gay is a choice, columnist
Dan Savage invited the Republican presidential prospect to "suck my dick" to prove it.
93,727
If you are a gourmand who brassily trumpets your determination to consume foie gras, there is more news: you, too, are an asshole.
If you are a gourmand who brassily trumpets your determination to consume foie gras
, there is more news: you, too, are an asshole.
93,728
"You were only endorsed by Juliar because you were a black c***," the comments read.
"You were only endorsed by Juliar because you were a
black c***," the comments read.
93,729
Fhy: Please keep reposting this shit... ( sarcasm mode turn off ) (November 18, 2007, 6:15 pm)
Fhy: Please keep reposting this shit... ( sarcasm mode
turn off ) (November 18, 2007, 6:15 pm)
93,730
It disappeared from the website after massive, overwhelming outcry about it being obvious racist pseudo-science bullshit.
It disappeared from the website after massive, overwhelming outcry
about it being obvious racist pseudo-science bullshit.
93,731
Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “I’ll be at my desk eating this sandwich I made at home because I haven’t had a pay rise since, oh let me think, two thousand and fucking eight.
Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “I’ll be at my desk eating this sandwich I made at
home because I haven’t had a pay rise since, oh let me think, two thousand and fucking eight.
93,732
i don't like the fact that all these stategies are based on your opponent sucking
i don't like the fact that all
these stategies are based on your opponent sucking
93,733
But Graham largely avoids what many tech workers think when hearing about immigration reform: “we could be seriously fucked.”
But Graham largely avoids what many tech workers think when hearing
about immigration reform: “we could be seriously fucked.”
93,734
I knew my brother; he was just like our piece of shit father—worse, perhaps, in some ways.
I knew my brother; he was just like our piece
of shit father—worse, perhaps, in some ways.
93,735
You’re here to interview for a job, not to pull weather or transit related points of non-conversation out of your ass.
You’re here to interview for a job, not to pull weather
or transit related points of non-conversation out of your ass.
93,736
“Look, Trump wants a vote, and I’m gonna give him one right now, or I swear to God, I’m blowing up this entire fucking building with all of you worthless shitheads inside it!”
“Look, Trump wants a vote, and I’m gonna give him one right now, or I
swear to God, I’m blowing up this entire fucking building with all of you worthless shitheads inside it!”
93,737
Peter Thiel can't intellectualize his way out of this: Only an asshole would support Donald Trump
Peter Thiel can't intellectualize his way out of
this: Only an asshole would support Donald Trump
93,738
Jay fired back on the song “No Hook” from his new album American Gangster: “Fuck De-Haven for cavin’, that’s why we don’t speak,” he raps.
Jay fired back on the song “No Hook” from his new album American Gangster: “Fuck
De-Haven for cavin’, that’s why we don’t speak,” he raps.
93,739
"You are an Islamophobe who hates Islam, you basically think all Muslims are to blame.
"You are an Islamophobe who hates Islam,
you basically think all Muslims are to blame.
93,740
“Got that little fucker,” said the pontiff, who repeatedly stomped on the infernal being until all of the hellish beast’s six legs stopped twitching.
“Got that little fucker,” said the pontiff, who repeatedly stomped on
the infernal being until all of the hellish beast’s six legs stopped twitching.
93,741
Part of me just wants to write JACK AND ANNE LIVE, MARY READ, OARS AND SHOVELS, SILVER AND THE COOK, JACK AND HIS FLAG, SILVER AND JACK SHARING A MOMENT OF MUTUAL CRAFTINESS, GOVERNOR FEATHERSTONE, THOMAS FUCKING HAMILTON!
Part of me just wants to write JACK AND ANNE LIVE, MARY READ, OARS AND SHOVELS, SILVER AND THE COOK
, JACK AND HIS FLAG, SILVER AND JACK SHARING A MOMENT OF MUTUAL CRAFTINESS, GOVERNOR FEATHERSTONE, THOMAS FUCKING HAMILTON!
93,742
Snakes and Ladders trains you for a really shitty life: You're sitting there doing the same thing again and again, and things go wrong through no fault of your own.
Snakes and Ladders trains you for a really shitty life: You're sitting there doing the
same thing again and again, and things go wrong through no fault of your own.
93,743
As the whole world now knows, he boasted that he’s able to grab women by the genitals and get away with it because he’s a star, and then gave Stern permission to call his own daughter Ivanka “a piece of ass.”
As the whole world now knows, he boasted that he’s able to grab women by the genitals and get away with it
because he’s a star, and then gave Stern permission to call his own daughter Ivanka “a piece of ass.”
93,744
Quotable Lyrics "Shirt, shirt by Versace Bitch you better fuck sumn' Ho, hoes wanna knock me Bitch you better fuck sumn' Shirt, shirt by Versace Bitch you better fuck sumn' Ho, hoes wanna knock me Bitch, you better fuck sumn'"
Quotable Lyrics "Shirt, shirt by Versace Bitch you better fuck sumn' Ho, hoes wanna knock me Bitch you better fuck sumn
' Shirt, shirt by Versace Bitch you better fuck sumn' Ho, hoes wanna knock me Bitch, you better fuck sumn'"
93,745
Circumcision is a religious and traditional ritual in some cultures and involves the removal of the preputium penis.
Circumcision is a religious and traditional ritual in some
cultures and involves the removal of the preputium penis.
93,746
Unless they're virgin tears, in which case I'MMA WRING THAT SHIT OUT AND MAKE SOME F***IN' POTIONS!
Unless they're virgin tears, in which case I'MMA
WRING THAT SHIT OUT AND MAKE SOME F***IN' POTIONS!
93,747
can only make a fool of mein every sort of way.She stays so close behind me,she's a coward you can see;I'd think shame to stick to Applejackas that shadow sticks to me!
can only make a fool of mein every sort of way.She stays so close behind me,
she's a coward you can see;I'd think shame to stick to Applejackas that shadow sticks to me!
93,748
Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia allow gay people to be stoned to death for simply being gay.
Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia allow gay people to
be stoned to death for simply being gay.
93,749
He also hosts Larry King Now, which he created with Carlos fucking Slim.
He also hosts Larry King Now,
which he created with Carlos fucking Slim.
93,750
Although I do wonder if my mother had second thoughts when she found herself explaining to her preadolescent daughter, “Well, honey, a ‘whore’ is, um, a lady who gets paid to, uh, keep men company.”
Although I do wonder if my mother had second thoughts when she found herself explaining to her preadolescent daughter, “Well,
honey, a ‘whore’ is, um, a lady who gets paid to, uh, keep men company.”
93,751
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion, you live in a country run by idiots.
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin
in school, but not to get an abortion, you live in a country run by idiots.
93,752
If you missed it, uniforms of German Olympic team are the giant happy "F*ck you!"
If you missed it, uniforms of German Olympic
team are the giant happy "F*ck you!"
93,753
...it is practically impossible, without great loss of life, especially at the present time, to prevent lynching of Negro rapists when the crime is committed against the white women of the South."
...it is practically impossible, without great loss of life, especially at the present time, to
prevent lynching of Negro rapists when the crime is committed against the white women of the South."
93,754
“Drawing a penis, or a swastika, or the n-word on there—what is that?”
“Drawing a penis, or a swastika, or the
n-word on there—what is that?”
93,755
And the peanut gallery of (mostly) vertical video-taking unemployed millennial faggots with their useless college degrees.
And the peanut gallery of (mostly) vertical video
-taking unemployed millennial faggots with their useless college degrees.
93,756
It should come as no surprise that a Reddit user named MonkeyMan5539 had bananas on the brain when he posed this question to the Shitty Ask Science community:
It should come as no surprise that a Reddit user named MonkeyMan5539 had bananas
on the brain when he posed this question to the Shitty Ask Science community:
93,757
Event Mikey Manker: IDIOT Mikey Manker is one of Chicago's most prolific comedians working today.
Event Mikey Manker: IDIOT Mikey Manker is one
of Chicago's most prolific comedians working today.
93,758
Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, daughter Brooke, and Jimmy Hart are having a wonderful time paying tribute to The Notorious B.I.G in Def Jam Rapstar, until the Hulkster decides the cameraman wants to see his penis.
Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, daughter Brooke, and Jimmy Hart are having a wonderful time paying tribute to
The Notorious B.I.G in Def Jam Rapstar, until the Hulkster decides the cameraman wants to see his penis.
93,759
He is also sexually aroused: the evidence is here sticking out from behind the scrotum (yes, in marsupials the penis is located behind the scrotum).”
He is also sexually aroused: the evidence is here sticking out from behind the
scrotum (yes, in marsupials the penis is located behind the scrotum).”
93,760
A smelly fart can lead to embarrassment for the person who farts AND for the people nearby.
A smelly fart can lead to embarrassment for the
person who farts AND for the people nearby.
93,761
It means I get an upgrade in knowledge and a downgrade in bullshit especially if someone corrects me.
It means I get an upgrade in knowledge and
a downgrade in bullshit especially if someone corrects me.
93,762
"Your abhorrent actions in China are a disgrace," the Californian said.
"Your abhorrent actions in China are
a disgrace," the Californian said.
93,763
He criticizes them in his video aptly named “Gary Johnson Is An Idiot” for not being libertarian enough, taking votes from Donald Trump and blaming the ticket for his dissociation with the libertarian title.
He criticizes them in his video aptly named “Gary Johnson Is An Idiot” for not being libertarian
enough, taking votes from Donald Trump and blaming the ticket for his dissociation with the libertarian title.
93,764
I understand his point...but its a pretty shitty argument to make when our society is literally being pulled apart right by now fascists in power in addition to the unrest of civilians borne by politicians in general being absolute scum in both parties in large swaths.
I understand his point...but its a pretty shitty argument to make when our society is literally being pulled apart right by now
fascists in power in addition to the unrest of civilians borne by politicians in general being absolute scum in both parties in large swaths.
93,765
Cleopatra “Money Honey” Bartiromo was proclaiming that the stupid masses didn’t know what was best for the system.
Cleopatra “Money Honey” Bartiromo was proclaiming that the stupid
masses didn’t know what was best for the system.
93,766
;; Even though this Proleague bullshit has been completely bogus, I really, really, really do not see how Khan can lose this.
;; Even though this Proleague bullshit has been completely bogus, I
really, really, really do not see how Khan can lose this.
93,767
Before he gained worldwide notoriety as the mayor allegedly caught on tape smoking crack, Toronto’s Rob Ford was perhaps best known as the mayor who said, “Bicyclists are a pain in the ass!”
Before he gained worldwide notoriety as the mayor allegedly caught on tape smoking crack, Toronto’s Rob Ford
was perhaps best known as the mayor who said, “Bicyclists are a pain in the ass!”
93,768
I’m not sure if, even if judged during the Jurrassic Age when Brontasaurus Apatosaurus roamed the earth, Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t be the biggest asshole on the planet.
I’m not sure if, even if judged during the Jurrassic Age when Brontasaurus Apatosaurus
roamed the earth, Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t be the biggest asshole on the planet.
93,769
Who’s kicking ass in downtown Vancouver’s Business District overnight?
Who’s kicking ass in downtown
Vancouver’s Business District overnight?
93,770
WARNING this game is sick, twisted and perverted play at your own risk.
WARNING this game is sick, twisted
and perverted play at your own risk.
93,771
She said that she had been shocked by the incredibly small size of his penis, and remembers laughing about it with the other two girls.
She said that she had been shocked by the incredibly small size of
his penis, and remembers laughing about it with the other two girls.
93,772
So with the touchy feely shit out the way, let’s cut to the chase: you powerlifters have got to stop doing so much dumb shit.
So with the touchy feely shit out the way, let’s cut to
the chase: you powerlifters have got to stop doing so much dumb shit.
93,773
What they’re saying in part is, “We don’t have to take this shit anymore.”
What they’re saying in part is, “We
don’t have to take this shit anymore.”
93,774
He just has to kill his mother while the others will have to go through him and their mother.
He just has to kill his mother while the others
will have to go through him and their mother.
93,775
The Reform movement caused the greatest damage to the Jewish people.
The Reform movement caused the greatest
damage to the Jewish people.
93,776
The idea of me being intimate with someone makes me sick to my stomach because the idea of my body in the nude makes me sick to my stomach, and it sucks.
The idea of me being intimate with someone makes me sick to my stomach because the idea
of my body in the nude makes me sick to my stomach, and it sucks.
93,777
The officer noted she was not wearing a bra, so her breasts were fully exposed.
The officer noted she was not wearing a
bra, so her breasts were fully exposed.
93,778
Throughout the course of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Peter Parker fucks up a lot.
Throughout the course of Spider-Man:
Homecoming, Peter Parker fucks up a lot.
93,779
He allegedly let cockroaches crawl on their faces and spoon-fed them his own semen.
He allegedly let cockroaches crawl on their faces
and spoon-fed them his own semen.
93,780
Maia has been delayed several times, and by many factors, most of them stupid.
Maia has been delayed several times, and
by many factors, most of them stupid.
93,781
Men will sodomize other men and all this sickness, and then they will go to animals, they will go to children; this is why it is best to simply kill the homosexuals.
Men will sodomize other men and all this sickness, and then they will go to animals,
they will go to children; this is why it is best to simply kill the homosexuals.
93,782
You didn't ask for them, you got them anyway, and they were fucking terrible.
You didn't ask for them, you got
them anyway, and they were fucking terrible.
93,783
Locals have reported being offered sex with children (Picture: Getty)
Locals have reported being offered sex
with children (Picture: Getty)
93,784
In screen shots of the session obtained by #TheFappening, Abraham is seen spreading her legs and putting a vibrator to her vagina while topless.
In screen shots of the session obtained by #TheFappening, Abraham is
seen spreading her legs and putting a vibrator to her vagina while topless.
93,785
But it is pretty damn convenient that former Governor Mike Huckabee, who has already expressed his support for the man who once fondled little girls’ breasts and vaginas, has a connection to Judge Zimmerman.
But it is pretty damn convenient that former Governor Mike Huckabee, who has already expressed his support for
the man who once fondled little girls’ breasts and vaginas, has a connection to Judge Zimmerman.
93,786
“But lately I am feeling like what if I find just one pussy that is attached to the best woman?
“But lately I am feeling like what if I find
just one pussy that is attached to the best woman?
93,787
But it all goes to garbage once you gain weight and it appears on your fat belly and bum which looks quite hideous on men and women.
But it all goes to garbage once you gain weight and it appears on
your fat belly and bum which looks quite hideous on men and women.
93,788
We awoke, nervous and shaky, made some scrambled eggs and then went to register and get our shit checked in.
We awoke, nervous and shaky, made some scrambled eggs
and then went to register and get our shit checked in.
93,789
I am black and I hate black people, I am not sure why but maybe you all can help me out.
I am black and I hate black people, I am
not sure why but maybe you all can help me out.
93,790
Every binder should have a warning label on it that says CAUTION: BORING SHIT INSIDE.
Every binder should have a warning label on
it that says CAUTION: BORING SHIT INSIDE.
93,791
Every nigger has lived that in the eyes of the people who like to call us 'niggers' when their door's closed, so I don't really care about that type of shit."
Every nigger has lived that in the eyes of the people who like to call us 'niggers'
when their door's closed, so I don't really care about that type of shit."
93,792
Amid sickening whoops of joy and shouts of 'Allah is greatest', the barbaric jihadis continue to fire their rifles at the dead man as they move in and surround his body.
Amid sickening whoops of joy and shouts of 'Allah is greatest', the barbaric jihadis
continue to fire their rifles at the dead man as they move in and surround his body.
93,793
So I’ll use a different word: shadow government, mercenaries who don’t give a shit about you.
So I’ll use a different word: shadow government
, mercenaries who don’t give a shit about you.
93,794
In the end, the people at the top of the chain end up dead, and it’s the middleman tool who gets fucked over.”
In the end, the people at the top of the chain end up
dead, and it’s the middleman tool who gets fucked over.”
93,795
According to Hill, Tatum said, "Yes, you dumb motherfucker, of course you will.
According to Hill, Tatum said, "Yes
, you dumb motherfucker, of course you will.
93,796
The trailer ridicules Islam and depicts the Prophet Muhammad as a fraud, a womanizer and a pedophile.
The trailer ridicules Islam and depicts the Prophet Muhammad
as a fraud, a womanizer and a pedophile.
93,797
Nilay Patel at the Verge seems to have set things off with his article The Mobile Web Sucks.
Nilay Patel at the Verge seems to have set
things off with his article The Mobile Web Sucks.
93,798
And what is up with him? Is that a neck-boner!? Damn you fantasy creatures and your odd innacurate bodily functions. TL;DR I was bored and made up this thing. XD
And what is up with him? Is that a neck-boner!? Damn you fantasy creatures
and your odd innacurate bodily functions. TL;DR I was bored and made up this thing. XD
93,799
10 Masturbation and Your Pet The people at TakeTheAction.com are out to stop masturbation.
10 Masturbation and Your Pet The people
at TakeTheAction.com are out to stop masturbation.