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95,500
A fact which is interesting because before we got there none of the animals even had any breasts.
A fact which is interesting because before we got
there none of the animals even had any breasts.
95,501
Marijuana users are typically among the safest, most bust-ass, least complaining employees in the workplace.
Marijuana users are typically among the safest, most bust
-ass, least complaining employees in the workplace.
95,502
If you're wondering what to do with the golden shit post-defecation, unfortunately the answer is still, "Flush it."
If you're wondering what to do with the golden shit post-
defecation, unfortunately the answer is still, "Flush it."
95,503
I’ve seen this kind of argument a couple times today and it’s just not fucking worth it to saddle generations of people with a scientifically fallacious diseased status in the hopes that they might therefore fall under the umbrella of some other protected class.
I’ve seen this kind of argument a couple times today and it’s just not fucking worth it to saddle generations of
people with a scientifically fallacious diseased status in the hopes that they might therefore fall under the umbrella of some other protected class.
95,504
When you do the mouth, try to make it look as much like an angry anus with teeth as possible.
When you do the mouth, try to make it look
as much like an angry anus with teeth as possible.
95,505
"The one had indicated they should just put a bullet in their head.
"The one had indicated they should
just put a bullet in their head.
95,506
"You didn't look like a monster, you didn't look like a paedophile, you looked like an ordinary person," she said.
"You didn't look like a monster, you didn't look like
a paedophile, you looked like an ordinary person," she said.
95,507
Chris Ofili got into art school, and he painted a Virgin Mary using fecal matter.
Chris Ofili got into art school, and
he painted a Virgin Mary using fecal matter.
95,508
It’s quite the difference compared to its competitor, Forza Motorsport, which rewards drifts, drafts and perfect corners; GT rewards you for not being a dick.
It’s quite the difference compared to its competitor, Forza Motorsport, which rewards
drifts, drafts and perfect corners; GT rewards you for not being a dick.
95,509
However once she saw Hitler march his stormtroopers into France, she vowed to do whatever necessary to kick their arses out.
However once she saw Hitler march his stormtroopers into France,
she vowed to do whatever necessary to kick their arses out.
95,510
Just know, the CEO of Twitter has fucked with the wrong sort of obsessive compulsive people — who obviously hacked into and suspended his account.
Just know, the CEO of Twitter has fucked with the wrong sort
of obsessive compulsive people — who obviously hacked into and suspended his account.
95,511
A man who got a tattoo on his penis is now left with a permanent semi-erection, according to an article in the latest issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
A man who got a tattoo on his penis is now left with a permanent semi-
erection, according to an article in the latest issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
95,512
No T, no shade, no pink lemonade, but watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 7, I admit that I fell victim, like almost every Drag Race fan, to believing that Jasmine Masters was a c-u-n-t.
No T, no shade, no pink lemonade, but watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 7, I admit that I fell
victim, like almost every Drag Race fan, to believing that Jasmine Masters was a c-u-n-t.
95,513
Tech children sit on the green after school and leave all their litter behind, because there’s a caretaker at their school whose job it is to pick up all the rubbish.
Tech children sit on the green after school and leave all their litter behind, because there
’s a caretaker at their school whose job it is to pick up all the rubbish.
95,514
Diaosi is a meme moniker that translates to penis hair. first used in a petty forum argument (if I’m a penis, then you’re something smaller), the word can be seen as somewhat analogous to the Japanese word Otaku.
Diaosi is a meme moniker that translates to penis hair. first used in a petty forum argument (if I’m a
penis, then you’re something smaller), the word can be seen as somewhat analogous to the Japanese word Otaku.
95,515
Mehta, by the way, is not Muslim -- not that it matters, because this guy was clearly out to start some racist shit with "you people."
Mehta, by the way, is not Muslim -- not that it matters, because
this guy was clearly out to start some racist shit with "you people."
95,516
To me it is all about family, I don’t give a fuck about politics,” said the reformed hell-raiser.
To me it is all about family, I don’t give
a fuck about politics,” said the reformed hell-raiser.
95,517
He was that classic “pain in the ass” little brother, but he was my pain in the ass.
He was that classic “pain in the ass” little
brother, but he was my pain in the ass.
95,518
Since this dumbass blocked all of daddyofives videos that means there is no evidence of child abuse happening.
Since this dumbass blocked all of daddyofives videos that
means there is no evidence of child abuse happening.
95,519
Here’s a taste: “Whitney is just an inferior lo w life ni gg er that needed to go, no tragedy, no loss…” “Any death is a tragedy you heartless bastard…” “not nignogs their death is a plus…”
Here’s a taste: “Whitney is just an inferior lo w life ni gg er that needed to go, no tragedy,
no loss…” “Any death is a tragedy you heartless bastard…” “not nignogs their death is a plus…”
95,520
Jackson, hater of motherfucking snakes on motherfucking planes, has recorded a free audiobook version of Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés instant classic.
Jackson, hater of motherfucking snakes on motherfucking planes, has recorded
a free audiobook version of Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés instant classic.
95,521
Prosecutors say Harrison told police he was drunk and did something "stupid'' on a dare.
Prosecutors say Harrison told police he was drunk and
did something "stupid'' on a dare.
95,522
Sorry, xtainity was always a crock of shit, and I have seen inside it deeper than most….
Sorry, xtainity was always a crock of shit,
and I have seen inside it deeper than most….
95,523
From slut-shaming (“Why buy the cow when he can get the milk from Trader Joe’s!”)
From slut-shaming (“Why buy the cow when
he can get the milk from Trader Joe’s!”)
95,524
Annie Clark, aka St Vincent, surprised fans last December with a new single Birth in Reverse, which featured the line: "Oh what an ordinary day, take out the garbage, masturbate."
Annie Clark, aka St Vincent, surprised fans last December with a new single Birth in Reverse,
which featured the line: "Oh what an ordinary day, take out the garbage, masturbate."
95,525
Mark Colborne, 37, bought poison-making chemicals and kept a diary of racial hatred against "blacks and Caucasian idiots", the Old Bailey was told.
Mark Colborne, 37, bought poison-making chemicals and kept a diary of
racial hatred against "blacks and Caucasian idiots", the Old Bailey was told.
95,526
You won’t be serving this to your paramour, you unlovable piece of shit, you’ll be making it for the sad, sad SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE party you’re desperately trying to convince yourself is exactly-EXACTLY!
You won’t be serving this to your paramour, you unlovable piece of shit, you’ll be making it for
the sad, sad SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE party you’re desperately trying to convince yourself is exactly-EXACTLY!
95,527
“We will strike you in your homeland,” he warned foreign governments, calling on Muslims to kill Europeans, “especially the spiteful and filthy French.”
“We will strike you in your homeland,” he warned foreign governments,
calling on Muslims to kill Europeans, “especially the spiteful and filthy French.”
95,528
A lot seems to have happened over the vacation, particularly in the GOP “Choose the Next Idiot” Sweepstakes.
A lot seems to have happened over the vacation, particularly
in the GOP “Choose the Next Idiot” Sweepstakes.
95,529
Sometimes people are so stupid that they become a waste of carbon.
Sometimes people are so stupid that
they become a waste of carbon.
95,530
FROM EARLIER: Comcast thinks you’re even stupider than Verizon does
FROM EARLIER: Comcast thinks you
’re even stupider than Verizon does
95,531
See Shyla Jennings Solo Masturbation Pics from Self Desire on Porn Corporation.
See Shyla Jennings Solo Masturbation Pics
from Self Desire on Porn Corporation.
95,532
Congratulations, Jesse Watters, you're a disgusting pig as well as being a racist moron. https://t.co/lZbydxIV7l — John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) April 26, 2017
Congratulations, Jesse Watters, you're a disgusting pig as well as being
a racist moron. https://t.co/lZbydxIV7l — John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) April 26, 2017
95,533
People are saying: let him get what he deserves, he needs to be hanged.
People are saying: let him get what
he deserves, he needs to be hanged.
95,534
Biggest Loser Deception: Kai Hibbard Eating Disorder (PHOTOS, VIDEO)
Biggest Loser Deception: Kai Hibbard
Eating Disorder (PHOTOS, VIDEO)
95,535
We're not sure what would be considered the best possible outcome for a prank, but man, getting a world leader to become so enraged he calls you a "faggot" in public has to be way up there.
We're not sure what would be considered the best possible outcome for a prank, but man, getting a
world leader to become so enraged he calls you a "faggot" in public has to be way up there.
95,536
If you went for a walk near University Village yesterday, your nostrils were probably hit by a scent only marginally better than rotting fish dipped in vomit.
If you went for a walk near University Village yesterday, your nostrils were
probably hit by a scent only marginally better than rotting fish dipped in vomit.
95,537
Witnesses described hearing the van driver shout: "I'm going to kill Muslims" and "I've done my bit".
Witnesses described hearing the van driver shout: "I'm going
to kill Muslims" and "I've done my bit".
95,538
The message exhorted people to “kill them in their own lands, behead them in their own homes, stab them to death as they walk their street.”
The message exhorted people to “kill them in their own lands, behead them
in their own homes, stab them to death as they walk their street.”
95,539
So being able to write for and play the meanest bitch in school has been so fun.
So being able to write for and play the
meanest bitch in school has been so fun.
95,540
If you're within a few years of retirement with most of your net worth in four walls, suck it out.
If you're within a few years of retirement with most
of your net worth in four walls, suck it out.
95,541
Daryl Hall Daryl Hall has a message for critics crying cultural appropriation: "Shut the f*ck up" Salon talks to the music icon about his TV show, why the industry is so stupid and why there's "no color to soul"
Daryl Hall Daryl Hall has a message for critics crying cultural appropriation: "Shut the f*ck up" Salon talks to the
music icon about his TV show, why the industry is so stupid and why there's "no color to soul"
95,542
The joke will be on the Broncos, though, if they continue to negate touchdowns with stupid penalties.
The joke will be on the Broncos, though,
if they continue to negate touchdowns with stupid penalties.
95,543
We are almost always too fat -- unless we cross over and become "disgustingly thin" or a "skinny bitch."
We are almost always too fat -- unless we cross over and
become "disgustingly thin" or a "skinny bitch."
95,544
“This project is going to explore exactly who these dishonest little sons of bitches think they’re fooling by claiming they sat down and watched the whole damn thing.
“This project is going to explore exactly who these dishonest little sons of bitches
think they’re fooling by claiming they sat down and watched the whole damn thing.
95,545
Stop protecting your virgin ears and start noticing you’re getting fucked in the ass.” Oof.
Stop protecting your virgin ears and start noticing you
’re getting fucked in the ass.” Oof.
95,546
On Monday, Mowry told Oprah Winfrey that she has received “hurtful” remarks about her marriage to Housley, including people calling her a “white man’s whore.”
On Monday, Mowry told Oprah Winfrey that she has received “hurtful” remarks about
her marriage to Housley, including people calling her a “white man’s whore.”
95,547
Trump’s third person trash talking—fired off before many innocent Americans had had a chance to down their first cup of coffee—called out Clapper for his stinging rebuke of the president to CNN.
Trump’s third person trash talking—fired off before many innocent Americans had had a chance to down
their first cup of coffee—called out Clapper for his stinging rebuke of the president to CNN.
95,548
I swear I will kill myself if they do. - nesix before KHAN lost to eNature
I swear I will kill myself if they
do. - nesix before KHAN lost to eNature
95,549
Gremlins are a threat comparable to ISIS and Ebola, if this guy is to be believed!
Gremlins are a threat comparable to ISIS and Ebola
, if this guy is to be believed!
95,550
In fact I’d say they’re treated far worse than the black slaves in some respects — at least the blacks got to be outside and get a sweet tan.
In fact I’d say they’re treated far worse than the black slaves in some
respects — at least the blacks got to be outside and get a sweet tan.
95,551
It helps to know how to get rid of semen stains because these are the kinds of stain you don’t want your mother or your helper to clean for you.
It helps to know how to get rid of semen stains because these are the kinds
of stain you don’t want your mother or your helper to clean for you.
95,552
[Side note – Now that I’m reading this again, that analogy seems kind of stupid.
[Side note – Now that I’m reading
this again, that analogy seems kind of stupid.
95,553
In an extraordinary outburst, she tweeted: “Be seen within a mile of my daughters and I will nail your balls to the floor… using your own front teeth.
In an extraordinary outburst, she tweeted: “Be seen within a mile of my
daughters and I will nail your balls to the floor… using your own front teeth.
95,554
They’re both dead, but Pepsi doesn’t taste like Trayvon”; and he once called Wendy Davis a “whore.”
They’re both dead, but Pepsi doesn’t taste like Trayvon
”; and he once called Wendy Davis a “whore.”
95,555
Plenty of strong women in history pretended to be men because frankly there just weren't many options and they wanted to, well, get shit done.
Plenty of strong women in history pretended to be men because frankly there just
weren't many options and they wanted to, well, get shit done.
95,556
And these hateful, privileged brats at the camp boycotted Jews and sided with Jew-killers.
And these hateful, privileged brats at the camp
boycotted Jews and sided with Jew-killers.
95,557
And I also agree that, when the One Great Scorer comes to write against Romney's name, he's going to be stumped as to whether the man was a bigger jerk than he was an incompetent.
And I also agree that, when the One Great Scorer comes to write against Romney's name, he
's going to be stumped as to whether the man was a bigger jerk than he was an incompetent.
95,558
Premier Dan Andrews vowed to find the ‘money-crazed dickheads’ who made the unfortunate mistake.
Premier Dan Andrews vowed to find the ‘money
-crazed dickheads’ who made the unfortunate mistake.
95,559
No filler, no philosophy, and no bullshit - because you’re a professional, and you don’t have time for it.
No filler, no philosophy, and no bullshit - because you
’re a professional, and you don’t have time for it.
95,560
“When I heard this, frankly, I choked on my porridge and I thought it must be April Fool’s Day,” Cameron said, “this guy is clearly a complete idiot.”
“When I heard this, frankly, I choked on my porridge and I thought it must be
April Fool’s Day,” Cameron said, “this guy is clearly a complete idiot.”
95,561
Tribble told police that Rush then rolled down his window, pointed a handgun at her head and said: "I will kill you."
Tribble told police that Rush then rolled down his window, pointed a
handgun at her head and said: "I will kill you."
95,562
Big mean jerks who will burn down a village and kidnap a princess just to get their claws on some gold.
Big mean jerks who will burn down a village and kidnap
a princess just to get their claws on some gold.
95,563
“You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole,” Raylan explains to Adair.
“You run into an asshole in the morning, you
ran into an asshole,” Raylan explains to Adair.
95,564
Wu-Tang-Affiliated Rapper Cuts Off His Own Penis, Jumps Off Balcony in Suicide Attempt
Wu-Tang-Affiliated Rapper Cuts Off His
Own Penis, Jumps Off Balcony in Suicide Attempt
95,565
At age 8, she says in an affidavit provided to the courts, her cousin began to rape her anally, causing her to lose control of her bowels.
At age 8, she says in an affidavit provided to the courts, her
cousin began to rape her anally, causing her to lose control of her bowels.
95,566
A board game based on Stanley Kubrick’s mind-fucking film The Shining actually exists!
A board game based on Stanley Kubrick’s
mind-fucking film The Shining actually exists!
95,567
Then still, while some MRAs are rapists, a fair portion are hot, stinky rapists or whiny rapists.
Then still, while some MRAs are rapists, a
fair portion are hot, stinky rapists or whiny rapists.
95,568
I became quite content to let feminists sit in their little “only women get raped” bubble and pleasure themselves with the glee they seem to get from saying the world is bastion of rape.
I became quite content to let feminists sit in their little “only women get raped” bubble
and pleasure themselves with the glee they seem to get from saying the world is bastion of rape.
95,569
Perhaps some places I have not been yet, like Saudi Arabia or some AIDS infested shithole Sub-Saharan African country might be worse, but those places would be expected to be poor choices.
Perhaps some places I have not been yet, like Saudi Arabia or some AIDS infested shithole Sub
-Saharan African country might be worse, but those places would be expected to be poor choices.
95,570
When you see all these people changing around it leaves me with f**k all again.
When you see all these people changing around
it leaves me with f**k all again.
95,571
To name a few, there is The Disposable Memory Project, Dispose, Tepsic, The 100, Hejorama, an entire subreddit, and even a fucking e-How.
To name a few, there is The Disposable Memory Project, Dispose, Tepsic,
The 100, Hejorama, an entire subreddit, and even a fucking e-How.
95,572
The victim, who is calling for an inquiry into how Mallaky-Soodman was released, was approached in the street by the knife-man who told him, "I'm a Muslim and I'm going to chop your head off."
The victim, who is calling for an inquiry into how Mallaky-Soodman was released, was approached in the street by
the knife-man who told him, "I'm a Muslim and I'm going to chop your head off."
95,573
Upon hearing of Robin Williams' passing, I, much like everyone else, was scouring the Internet for news to see if it was a shitty hoax, or just shitty news.
Upon hearing of Robin Williams' passing, I, much like everyone else, was scouring
the Internet for news to see if it was a shitty hoax, or just shitty news.
95,574
A group of Brazilian doctors recently published a paper in the academic journal Advances in Urology identifying "woman-on-top" (aka cowgirl) as the most dangerous sex position in terms of the sheer number of dicks broken mid-fuck.
A group of Brazilian doctors recently published a paper in the academic journal Advances in Urology identifying "woman-on-top
" (aka cowgirl) as the most dangerous sex position in terms of the sheer number of dicks broken mid-fuck.
95,575
Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now.
Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag
, to say, “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now.
95,576
Just in time for Halloween: attack of the sperm stealing baby mommas.
Just in time for Halloween: attack
of the sperm stealing baby mommas.
95,577
HA! It’s all legalese and bullshit, and there are more hooks than one can imagine.
HA! It’s all legalese and bullshit,
and there are more hooks than one can imagine.
95,578
bit’s of shit out of me hair and putting it on his gums and the pair of them are both stood there and ramming it up their noses and I was going, ‘It’s fucking psoriasis’.
bit’s of shit out of me hair and putting it on his gums and the pair of them are
both stood there and ramming it up their noses and I was going, ‘It’s fucking psoriasis’.
95,579
Growing up in the UK, I thought of the cops as losers who couldn't get a decent job and instead wore stupid dayglo yellow jackets and silly hats and spent the majority of their time dealing with annoying drunk people.
Growing up in the UK, I thought of the cops as losers who couldn't get a decent job and
instead wore stupid dayglo yellow jackets and silly hats and spent the majority of their time dealing with annoying drunk people.
95,580
If you approach the chair haphazardly and sit with your butt tucked under, you set yourself up for a challenge in sitting up straight.
If you approach the chair haphazardly and sit with your butt tucked under
, you set yourself up for a challenge in sitting up straight.
95,581
Being in my early, early (early early) 30’s I grew up in an era where it was considered fact that the government killed Kennedy and the Vietnam war was a bunch of bullshit.
Being in my early, early (early early) 30’s I grew up in an era where
it was considered fact that the government killed Kennedy and the Vietnam war was a bunch of bullshit.
95,582
Roy says that goombas (escpecially poopy ones) are so dumb that they are stupider that Stupid von Koopa and Epic Fail Koopa.
Roy says that goombas (escpecially poopy ones) are so dumb
that they are stupider that Stupid von Koopa and Epic Fail Koopa.
95,583
Chocolate and sex are both Valentine's Day staples, but if you really want to think outside of the heart-shaped box on Saturday, there's really only one option: an Edible Anus:
Chocolate and sex are both Valentine's Day staples, but if you really want to think outside of
the heart-shaped box on Saturday, there's really only one option: an Edible Anus:
95,584
The divas are talentless bimbos recruited straight from strip clubs, escort services, Hooters and whichever groupie sucks Triple-H's cock the hardest.
The divas are talentless bimbos recruited straight from strip clubs, escort services
, Hooters and whichever groupie sucks Triple-H's cock the hardest.
95,585
This shit is like the National Geographic version of a fucking SAS sniper in a ghille suit taking down his target in the middle of a 100-meter-dash by flying side-kicking it in the fucking face and then bodyflipping it with his teeth.
This shit is like the National Geographic version of a fucking SAS sniper in a ghille suit taking down his target in the
middle of a 100-meter-dash by flying side-kicking it in the fucking face and then bodyflipping it with his teeth.
95,586
I live in Arizona, so it should come as no surprise that chilling a batch of beer is a giant pain in the ass here.
I live in Arizona, so it should come as no surprise that
chilling a batch of beer is a giant pain in the ass here.
95,587
Members of the Enterprise would say "Scotty, beam us aboard" or "Beam me up" or "Hurry up and beam my shit, boy-eeeee," but never, not once, did anyone say "Beam me up, Scotty."
Members of the Enterprise would say "Scotty, beam us aboard" or "Beam me up" or "Hurry up and beam
my shit, boy-eeeee," but never, not once, did anyone say "Beam me up, Scotty."
95,588
By that I mean, they are all scumbags with no moral compass just looking to scream, bitch, and destroy.
By that I mean, they are all scumbags with no
moral compass just looking to scream, bitch, and destroy.
95,589
As a jerk and a douchebag who shouldn’t be out in public, mostly, but as a straight person too.
As a jerk and a douchebag who shouldn’t be out
in public, mostly, but as a straight person too.
95,590
If you can’t persuade them with logic, dazzle them with bullshit.
If you can’t persuade them with
logic, dazzle them with bullshit.
95,591
Webster’s Dictionary defines Shit Writing Syndrome as “a disorder that turns one’s writing to shit, for example, by causing one to quote this dictionary when describing the disorder.”
Webster’s Dictionary defines Shit Writing Syndrome as “a disorder that turns one’s writing to
shit, for example, by causing one to quote this dictionary when describing the disorder.”
95,592
Classixx is literally the worst dub step/trap/any music I have heard in my life where the fuck is zedd — Max S (@michael_prime_) December 31, 2013
Classixx is literally the worst dub step/trap/any music I have heard in my
life where the fuck is zedd — Max S (@michael_prime_) December 31, 2013
95,593
Andrew Bynum put his butt into skinny Nugget JaVale McGee and won lovely position in the paint, a bounce pass away from Bryant.
Andrew Bynum put his butt into skinny Nugget JaVale McGee and won
lovely position in the paint, a bounce pass away from Bryant.
95,594
“I guess this fucking guy assumes he’s covered because the Blackhawks also play in Chicago?”
“I guess this fucking guy assumes he’s
covered because the Blackhawks also play in Chicago?”
95,595
If somebody had come up to me and said ‘You don’t have to do this’ I would have been, like, ‘Fucking, yes’.
If somebody had come up to me and said ‘You don’t have to
do this’ I would have been, like, ‘Fucking, yes’.
95,596
First off I want to say HOLY CRAP, Penguininamicrowave, you are the Cozy Toes exchange MASTER.
First off I want to say HOLY CRAP,
Penguininamicrowave, you are the Cozy Toes exchange MASTER.
95,597
Before we get into the serious CSI shit that went down here a few hours back, let me recap: my VW Beetle that I've owned over 20 years was stolen, and I've been very publicly crying about it and unashamedly begging for help.
Before we get into the serious CSI shit that went down here a few hours back, let me recap: my VW Beetle
that I've owned over 20 years was stolen, and I've been very publicly crying about it and unashamedly begging for help.
95,598
She's smart, funny, and compassionate: Ed Rachles is fucking lucky a
She's smart, funny, and
compassionate: Ed Rachles is fucking lucky a
95,599
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
1. Jesus loves you, and shares
your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.