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TheBetootaAdvocate | Scotty_Does_It_Again_A_Social_Media_Nip_And_Tuck_A_Politician_Off_To_Court_More_November_5 | You're listening to the Batutah Advocates weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5 Welcome back to the weekly Batutah bulletin, recording live here in downtown Batutah, Desert Rock FM studios, you're joined by myself Clancy Overall, editor of the Batutah Advocate, we've got Errol Parker here, editor at large, hello Erro... |
cracked | 5_dbags_whose_mere_existence_should_make_you_feel_cooler | Our website is currently downloading a virus onto your computer. I'm Lex Friedman and this is the news for Friday, April 18th, 2008. A new study has concluded that men who masturbate at least five times a week have a dramatically reduced risk of developing prostate cancer. In a related story, I'm immortal.
Let's get t... |
dropout | detroit_s_kickstarter_needs_your_help | Hi, I'm assistant deputy treasurer to the city of Detroit, Carl Thump. Recently our city declared bankruptcy, but we did hear that the internet's giving away free money on this kickstarter thing. So let's give it a shot. You know what they say, if it works for the Veronica Mars movie, it'll work for a decaying American... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_national_masturbation_month_11_day_nude_cruise_snl | It was announced that both Boomer Sison and Phil Simms are leaving Cbs's the Nfl Today. the former quarterback said they want to spend more time figuring out which one is which. ha ha ha. fans of the children's show, Bluey, are saying that a line in a recent episode hinted that Bluey's mom used to go to a park to smoke... |
TheOnion | Cop_Explains_How_It_Feels_To_Live_Every_Day_In_Fear_Someone_Might_Record_You_Brutalizing_A_Civilian | I feel vulnerable every day. When I'm out on patrol or just walking my beat, it feels like a threatening situation could erupt at any minute. As a police officer, I constantly live in fear that I might be filmed brutalizing a civilian.
Just yesterday, I pull over a black couple and I kept thinking, what if I escalate ... |
cracked | why_the_oscars_get_it_wrong_every_year_the_cracked_podcast | As I mentioned, we're going to be discussing the Academy Awards, asking questions like, how do they always get everything exactly right? Perfect, every time. We're gonna talk about some of the controversy. We're gonna talk about, we're gonna be imagining some alternate, an alternate Oscars that's a little bit more fun,... |
dropout | Shut_Up_and_Buy_This_36_Grilled_Cheese | I've always hated I hate the noise I hate society telling me what to do you bag so I decided to reinvent to do something new to do something exciting whoo so I started a food truck I've always had business savvy.
Price one up again?
Shove my nuts yeah I've been told I have an attitude problem but if the food's good w... |
TheOnion | The_Power_Of_Selling_Out_Your_Customers_As_Political_Capital_Onion_Talks_Ep_9 | I'm going to talk about how to adapt to your idea taking on a life of its own. In 2006, my friends and I started a photo sharing site called Ripple. We designed the site for American college students, but its ease of use and anonymity made it popular with Chinese dissidents. Before long, the users took the site in dire... |
cracked | 7_cool_bits_of_foreshadowing_in_great_tv_shows | mind-blowing foreshadowing That's me as a vampire So evil and skanky and I think I'm kind of gay Well, I just remember a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person that was well, actually It's a good point You're not the next supreme Supreme? Supreme? What's a supreme? You're looking at her She's in there ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | A_Steep_Decline_Greedy_Teachers_The_Land_Of_The_Free_More_July_1 | You're listening to the Batutah Advocate's weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5 Welcome back to the weekly bulletin for the Batutah Advocate thank you for joining us my name is Clancy Overill editor of the Batutah Advocate I'm joined today by Errol Parker editor at large and Effie Baten one of the rising stars of th... |
cracked | when_behind_the_scenes_documentaries_go_horribly_wrong_youtube_exclusive | That's why it's so much because it shows me it's really not that bad we've been this all this longer than I thought or is he forgetting lines a lot no he's doing it you know how he doesn't that super slow like measures you can't hold him that's stupid you can't tell him things he's doesn't take direction he's dumb run ... |
dropout | canceling_plans_showdown | Oh, man, what a week. Happy Friday. Happy Friday, Cassia.
Thanks. Got plans? Thanks. Any plans? Yeah, I think I'm going to go see a movie. How about you? You know, blow a couple fat rails. You? I'm supposed to hang out with Cassia, but I want to cancel. Hanging out with Grant. I don't want to cancel. Good luck with th... |
cracked | in_defense_of_the_star_wars_holiday_special_cracked_responds | Hey, you guys, remember when we talked about how Jar Jar Banks is secretly like a Sith Lord and it's actually amazing? I thought we should watch the entire Star Wars Holiday Special and find what's good about it. No one defends the Star Wars Holiday Special ever.
That's why I've locked the doors of this room and we're... |
cracked | 8_insane_overreactions_caught_on_camera_the_spit_take | Hello the internet and welcome to another episode of the spit take my name is Jack O'Brien I'm the editor-in-chief of cracked and when someone says hi to me I say hi back when someone sticks out their hand. I shake it and when they stick out their fists to give me a pound I Grasp it and shake it like the awkward white ... |
TheOnion | Alabama_Middle_Schooler_Jailed_After_Taking_Basketball_Back_Out_From_Under_Her_Shirt | This Alabama middle schooler has been arrested after taking a basketball back out from under her shirt. Last week, 13-year-old Grace Smith placed a basketball under her shirt saying, Look at me, I'm pregnant. But after her PE period was over, she removed the basketball and was immediately reported for terminating her p... |
TheOnion | NBA_Players_Owners_Agree_That_Both_Sides_Are_Selfish | Alright, first letter's from Doc, of course. Hi, Kenny, this is Doc.
What do you think about Tony La Russa celebrating the Cardinals' World Series birth with a big, disturbing sex party? Classic La Russa. He's meticulous as both a manager and planner of brain-warping horses. Put some faith in the skipper here. Accordi... |
TheOnion | Geologists_Unearth_Fully_Intact_Rock_TikTok_compilation | This could be the most important discovery ever. A team of geologists working in Northern Colorado announced today they had excavated a fully intact rock. The team called it the most flawless specimen of a rock ever unearthed. Unlike past finds, this one helps us see what rocks might have looked like in their intact fo... |
ClickHole | this_is_america_pauline | When I was 19 years old, I had a son and I gave him up for adoption. It's not that I wasn't ready to become a mother. It's just that I'd bought a ticket for WrestleMania later that month and I'd forgotten to buy an extra ticket for the baby. I knew I couldn't leave a baby home alone, so I decided to put him up for adop... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | INTERVIEW_Bri_Lee_Bridie_Jabour_Cool_Story | My name is Clancy Overall and I'm joined of course by Effie Bateman, head of Lifestyle Culture and she knows when everyone's birthdays are. Joining us today, one recurring guest, one first timer, Brie Lee and Brydie Gebort, thank you for joining us. Thanks for having us. This is Brydie so that your audience knows my vo... |
cracked | why_toy_story_is_secretly_terrifying_obsessive_pop_culture_disorder | Not overplayed at this point? Like I wrote this episode, but I know we're not going to strike terror in anyone's hearts. Whatever. It's fun.
Anyway, Toy Story is an almost universally beloved franchise about what if toys were alive and now I'm going to ruin it because I'm on the wrong side of history. There's a dark T... |
dropout | ch_live_nyc_dan_levy | Please welcome Mr. Dan Levy. My name is Dan Levy, and I say that because there's another guy in Canada named Dan Levy, and he's in Canada and hosts some MTV Hills Canada show.
I don't know him, might be a cool guy, might be a dick.
Congrats on his success.
But apparently, he went on his Canada show and called Chris ... |
dropout | if_the_other_party_wins | Now fire is the heat and light given off by a chemical reaction. Which flame do you think is hotter?
The yellow or the blue? Oh, yellow.
No, I'm sorry, Caitlin. Come on up here and pay your wrong answer tax. Anyone else? I'm not out of the lead. Oh, Kumbaya, you are so cute. Here's your scholarship to Yale without a ... |
cracked | why_getting_your_period_turns_you_into_a_superhero | Quick picture the female reproductive system it's No, look just picture a ram's head Good, you basically got it now.
We've all been doing a grave injustice to the monthly reproductive cycle We've treated the 28 day narrative like a shameful tragedy instead of the action movie It's clearly dying to be yes It ends in bl... |
dropout | hardly_working_spanish_exam | Now don't you see, he didn't need the magic feather. He could fly the entire time.
What are you guys talking about? My freshman year roommate. We're just trying to stay awake. Oh my god, you know what I just realized? You guys, I'm supposed to be graduating right now! What?
You can't graduate until you've taken the S... |
TheOnion | The_Onion_Film_Standard_John_Wick_Chapter_4 | She loved the family A man has to look his best when it's time to get married. Or buried. I'm going to need a gun. This is Peter Rosenthal, head film critic for The Onion.
Today, I'll be looking at John Wick Chapter 4, the latest entry in the franchise, following the titular assassin as he fights, stabs, and shoots hi... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_we_got_a_fog_machine | Wait, how does that work? You plug it into your Xbox and then it pumps out fog according to the thing that's going on? You got it, it automatically generates it.
Wow! Patrick, fetch me the fog juice. Yes, sir. I thought you were joking. What potency would you like, sir?
Oh, I need the funnel, too. Yeah, the only thin... |
dropout | peach_and_zelda_boyfriends | I cannot believe Link is late. He just learned the song of time. Tell me about it. Mario can sprint through Mario 3 in 11 minutes, but he still can't make a 7pm reservation. Looking at him, I'm surprised he can sprint anywhere.
What's that now? I mean seriously, how many mushrooms has the guy eaten? A million?
Well I... |
SaturdayNightLive | me_harmony_snl | I tried online dating, but I never found anyone who liked me for me. my friends tell me I'm too picky. I need to find someone who realizes how great I am. I'm a catch. women like me. but when I tried other dating services, they could never find anyone good enough for me.
Hi, I'm Dr. Terry Mccorran, founder of Meharmon... |
cracked | 4_awkward_off_screen_scenes_they_forgot_to_film_yboc_batman_harry_potter_the_purge | Hey there nerds, it's me, Dr. Jordan Breeding. And some say that my name is awkward because breeding implies sex is a thing, but I say that I've successfully bred two whole humans. So maybe I'm just well-named because of my prowess?
Whatever. You're watching another episode of Your Brain Uncracked, the only show on cr... |
TheOnion | Victoria_s_Secret_Fashion_Show_A_Hit_Among_People_Who_Don_t_Know_That_Pornography_Exists | Last night's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was a true ratings winner, particularly with men who don't know that actual pornography exists.
The Angels' feather costumes and silk nightgowns were a hit with 30-35-year-old male viewers who had no idea that nude images of all the models are easily accessible on the Intern... |
dropout | 90_s_obstacle_course | Really? Yes. Okay.
And we're the stars of the new hit show Valley of the Boom. The Honor Show documents the tech boom of the 90s, the era officially known as the shizness. So, we thought we'd come to College Humor, split the cast of the times, and challenge them to complete the ultimate 90s tech relay challenge.
Are ... |
TheOnion | Are_Reality_Shows_Setting_Unrealistic_Standards_For_Skanks | I'm Juliana McKenna sitting in for Clifford Bains, who is regaling the interns with tales of his days at sea.
Reality shows like Flavor of Love and Rock of Love are more popular than ever. But a new study by the American Media Institute suggests that these shows may be setting unrealistic levels of skankiness for our ... |
dropout | sim_s_night_out | you believe this place man we are so getting late tonight definitely oh there's so much time now oh never mind what happened dr. Mike Sim former mayor and astronauts.
He's so cool. You better die. Tickles. Shoo-shoo. Mount Foggy. Yo Sim, my man.
Drinks around me. Blue party drink on the rocks.
Whoo! Looks like your ... |
TheOnion | The_Onion_Review_Week_Of_May_23_2014 | Scientists politely remind the world that clean energy technology is ready to go whenever. A new study finds most high school graduates are woefully unprepared for high school, and a bag of flour has a slave auction on its front. Stripped of the chemical agents that pollute lesser web-based news summaries, this is the ... |
dropout | saw_shaming | What? Where am I?
As the pledge master of Alpha Tau Omega, you've embarrassed hundreds of students. Now, it's time for you to be ashamed.
Your arm is stuck. There's no use trying to wiggle free. Jeremy, there is a camera suspended above you. Facing down, the camera is rigged with a wireless SIM card that will publish... |
SaturdayNightLive | the_sensitive_drill_sergeant_snl | Yeah, brother. yo, gee, if I hadn't been in the army, I'd still be in the street gang today.
What's up? come on, man. no way. way? my friend. Ted Hunt? no. when the hell's the name is going on here? this ain't no garden party. you're lucky I don't take you, pukes out in the middle of the base and stomp your asses into... |
dropout | hardly_working_glasses | Oh no no no no no! He no Jackrabbit! Oh my god!
New glasses, right? Oh no, I just usually wear contacts.
It's not that big of a deal. Well that is crazy.
Let me try them on. No, I kind of need them to see, so... Oh, come on! Come on, Taylor, let me try them on. Chill out. Here we go, ready?
Dude, you are so blind! ... |
programmersarealsohuman | interview_with_junior_js_developer | Full stack bootcamps.
Are you recording? Is this mic working? I don't like it.
Absolutely. Here I'll send you a good Udemy tutorial. Oh, there's a new library out? What's the name? I switch companies around Every six to nine weeks, but this time I'll stay longer. I can feel it I put in a few bucks only I can fix. Yea... |
dropout | what_space_jam_looked_like_from_the_police_station | So Ewan goes up to take the free throw, right? Ball clears the backboard, goes into the stands, hits a popcorn guy, in the face!
You're kidding. Come. I'll get you later, I'll see you later.
We've got our new missing persons case. A basketball player? Oh, more of a baseball player now. Does the media know yet? Not ye... |
cracked | the_insane_true_story_behind_the_birth_of_the_internet | Gentlemen, we find ourselves on the brink of a new era of worldwide communication and unfettered freedom of thought and expression. Behold, the Internet! The connection we make today will be remembered for eons to come as the greatest moment in history. We are gods.
Indeed. And here I go.
The Internet! Where is it? W... |
dropout | Caught_Internet_Stalking | Thank you. Raphael? Erica? Yes! Hi! Hey! How are you? Good!
It's so funny, I was telling a few of my girlfriends about this Tinder date and we actually know someone in common. Oh! Michelle Park. Oh! That's so crazy that you would know that. He said that she spoke with you briefly at a party like a few weeks ago. Did s... |
TheOnion | Woman_Who_Had_Abortion_Shares_How_She_Regrets_Not_Stopping_For_M_M_McFlurry_Afterwards | Two years ago I had an abortion and while I still think each individual should have the right to decide what to do with their own body, I also think it's important for me to share my own experience because I'd be lying if I said I don't have any regrets. I regret my decision to have an abortion and not stop for an emin... |
TheOnion | The_Onion_Looks_Back_At_The_Goonies | Look, if we keep going, someone's really gonna get hurt. Maybe dead.
Don't say that! Never say that!
Goonies never say die! This is Peter Rosenthal, head film critic for The Onion. In honor of the film's 30th anniversary, today's Cinema Classics segment will look at The Goonies, a lighthearted adventure film from 198... |
TheOnion | Small_Town_Mayor_Steps_Down_Amid_Scandal_Over_Forged_Coupon | Well, Pennington is reeling this hour from one of the biggest stories we've seen in decades. That's right, Kathy. Mayor Sue Hallinan has stepped down following revelations of her involvement in a coupon forging scandal. After a week of fervent denials, Mayor Hallinan admitted that last Thursday she used five counterfei... |
TheOnion | How_Will_The_End_Of_Print_Journalism_Affect_Old_Loons_Who_Hoard_Newspapers | I'm Juliana Mechanis filling in for Clifford Banes, who is standing over a bound and gagged man with a shovel wondering if he has the guts to go through with it. With so many newspapers struggling financially, some analysts fear the print media is in danger of collapsing. But if newspapers disappear, what will crazy ol... |
dropout | hardly_working_baby_talk | I'm telling it, if we all stand here long enough, we'll all reach a simultaneous movie. Hey, guys.
Baby!
I'd like to introduce you to Reginald Ruxman Willoughby. He was born three weeks ago to my sister and then husband. They got divorced yesterday. Aww. Who's the cutest boy in the whole wide world? You are Reginald.... |
dropout | ch_live_nyc_jake_and_amir_5 | Oh, yeah, let's play, yeah, let's play, let's play Kings, my faves. I said Kings. So, I was king of my second faves. Well, the first one you said wasn't actual Kings.
Not yet. It's too hardcore. Too non-existent.
Yeah, for some. Okay, for everybody. You wanna play Kings? Yeah, oh, yeah.
No, I don't know. You don't k... |
dropout | a_viking_s_peace | Hello, everyone. Welcome to Erotic Book Club, the book club where we read erotic books. I am your host, Jessica. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Rekha.
And we're so very lucky to have two experts with us. Our resident dirty booty expert, Raph is here.
That's me, the Tang. The Tang is in the house. Tang, Tang, Tang.
An... |
dropout | stressagains_the_restaurant_for_stress_eating | Hey buddy, you're working too hard. You should take a break. I don't know, man. Come on, are you hungry? No. Perfect.
We're going to Stressigans. Stressigans? Welcome to Stressigans, the first all-stress eating restaurant.
All right, what can I get you guys? Fucking whatever. Okay, great. I'll have the same. All righ... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_roe_v_wade_leaked_draft_opinion_vladimir_putin_to_undergo_cancer_surgery_snl | In an unprecedented move that could cause lasting damage to the Supreme Court, a draft opinion was leaked which indicates that they intend to overturn Roe V. Wade. So the court is usually careful, but they slipped up just this once and now they've got to live with it forever. sounds really unfair. The opinion was writt... |
dropout | hardly_working_bane_mugs | Okay guys, we've got to comb through all these files and figure out who has been embezzling from the company. Right. Gosh. I'm so bored right now. Hahaha. Team.
I am Gotham's reckoning. I was born in the dark.
Why so serious? That's a joker. No it's not. Chief Ledger. Okay, no more joshing around.
Now is not the tim... |
cracked | how_the_x_men_wolverine_timeline_makes_no_sense | Hi, I'm Daniel Bryan.
This is long Tom Ryman, and we are going to use this time to understand the Wolverine Timeline the overall x-men overall timeline yeah, so we got the timeline if we assume everything is cannon Right that has ever been film every movie that came out is Consistent in the same universe yeah, we star... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_colin_jost_s_driver_cesar_perez_snl | Well, you know a lot of people ask me if they can be on update and do some comedy and I've always said no. we're a serious news program. Then last week I got drunk enough to say yes while being driven home from the after-party here to make his network debut. Is my driver, Cesar Perez? he's empty, right? Oh, you didn't ... |
CrackerMilk | you_have_to_see_his_new_haircut_crackermilk_podcast | but um what is it sir?
I just wanted to like it's uh hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the crack and milk podcast and today we are taking your comments and turning their suggestions into little fun uh podcast adventures for all of us to enjoy so if you want your idea or something fucked up for us t... |
SaturdayNightLive | m3gan_2_0_snl | America has a new obsession, and her name is Megan. designed to be a little girl's best friend. don't worry, Katie. everything is going to be okay. Do you want to dance with me? And protect her at any cost. I won't let anything harm you.
Megan is a box office powerhouse, but she has captivated one demographic above al... |
dropout | getting_caught_masturbating_in_the_future | Brandon? Dinner's ready. Did you hear me, sweetie? Brandon? Oh, yeah. Brandon?
Mom, what are you doing? I'm not doing anything. What's close the door? I'm not, what are you doing? Why are you in here? This is my room. You can't be in here, Mom. I'm just, I'm just not even, I'm not doing anything.
I wasn't, it's not e... |
cracked | 4_live_action_anime_films_that_did_one_thing_better_than_the_original_anime_canonball | The phrase, American live-action remake of an anime, has basically become universal shorthand for one of the greatest sins ever committed against cinema. It's honestly a miracle that Japan even still talks to the US after we took some of their most beloved animated properties, bludgeoned them to death, and then puppete... |
SaturdayNightLive | jingle_pitch_snl | All Right Troops, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
Since breaking off from Donald's Donald's Dominguez to form Donald's and Dominguez, we have not landed a single new client.
You know why? that is? No, not really.
It's because Donald's Donald's Dominguez had a phone number that was easy to remember and everybody in town ... |
dropout | the_real_reason_taxes_suck_and_why_they_don_t_have_to_adam_ruins_everything | What's that you were saying about how taxes could be easy? Well, think about it. Taxes are a bill the government charges you. So why do you have to do all the math? Imagine if we did that with any other bill.
How much do I owe you? You tell me. Divide number of toppings by cheese consumption? $12?
Rock. Now you're go... |
dropout | unsexy_naked_time_music_video | We've been going out for a while We've been going out in style But I can't wait to get you home And take off all your clothes And just not do shit I wanna get naked for the hell of it Let's lose my shirt, your skirt And air our genitals out I wanna get you naked and order kung pao It's unsexy naked time Looks so wrong ... |
cracked | week_in_douchebaggery_yahoo_microsoft_movies_news_2_1_08 | It's Friday, February 1st, 2008, and this is...wait a second...is it really February already? Yes. Yes, it is. Anyway, it is Friday, February 1st, 2008, and this is the News on Cracked.
I'm Lex Friedman, and I'm going to get you drunk, get you love drunk, off my hump. Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced that he is off... |
dropout | the_real_game_genie | Well Summer, I am now your slave, and must grant you your wishes three. Game Genie, I remember this. I assure you, this is no game, a fantasy land of infinite possibilities awaits you. Unlimited money. Oh, a very wise choice. Or is it, for with great power comes great responsibility. In Mario, sorry, unlimited money in... |
Wizards_with_Guns | why_did_they_delete_this_scene_from_breaking_bad | 14 new messages. Jesse. There was a small mishap at the lab. I tore my suit and I think I might have inhaled some of the product. I locked all the shit absolutely blasted on meth. So call me back. Jesse. I've been running some tests on the meth to make sure it's pure.
Jesse, someone keeps knocking on the door. I keep ... |
TheOnion | How_To_Get_A_Guy_To_Notice_You_While_You_re_Having_Sex_With_Him | Who right now? Ladies, have you ever had this problem? You're into a fella, but you feel like you just aren't catching his eye. Well, don't worry. Relationship guru Rebecca Rachel is here to tell us how to get the attention of a man while you're having sex with him. Good morning, Rebecca. Hi, guys. Well, we've all been... |
cracked | cnn_turns_video_of_great_boobs_into_bad_television | Welcome to Hate by Numbers. Today I'm counting off CNN's latest attempt to debase themselves for ratings by trying to titillate their audience with a story about the Hooters food chain. In any promotion we ever have, I'll always tell my customers about it. And there's a new one coming up with a very different type of o... |
dropout | iOS_14_More_Rounded_Boxes_Than_Ever_Before | Introducing iOS 14, a fresh new look for iPhone. iOS 13 was just little rounded boxes. In iOS 14, we're leaving that all behind.
What's the difference? Well, it's the letters. Still not satisfied? Check out this other bigger rounded box, a slightly smaller one, a slightly smaller one, a slightly smaller one. Whoops, t... |
SaturdayNightLive | musical_promo_snl | Coming this spring, Broadway is back with a new musical that captures the spirit of our times. Susan? Oh, right. she's in Colorado till Monday. chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, eating all the chicken in my house. it's by yourself. The musical, a tribute to the little songs we all sing when we're by... |
cracked | cracked_podcast_1_generation_gaps_how_our_age_defines_us_audio_only | Hey guys, you don't even know who I am yet, but we already have a sponsor. Welcome to the show and Audible Thank you for helping us make this first episode possible listeners You can find tons and tons of titles on audible podcast comm backslash cracked Go snag one of them for free with 30 day free trial. That is audib... |
TheOnion | Doctors_Say_Average_Heart_Attack_Victim_Doesn_t_Clutch_At_Chest_Nearly_Dramatically_Enough | Every 44 seconds, someone in the United States suffers a heart attack. In 9 out of 10 instances, the heart attack victim will fail to theatrically stumble to the ground and grasp their chest. Don't be a statistic. A heart attack, or myocardial infarction, occurs when oxygenated blood is obstructed from flowing properly... |
dropout | someone_broke_into_our_hulu_account_ch_shorts | You feel like doing anything tonight? Nope. Cool. Let's watch some Hulu. Alright, what first? American Fruit Ninjas? Yes. Watched again? Did you watch American Fruit Ninjas without me? No. That's our show. I would never do that. Did you watch Extreme Home Destruction? Because that's his watch too. Oh, uh-uh. I haven't ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_187_Gorgeous_George_Rose | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overill, editors of the Batutah Advocate on Desert Rock FM. Welcome back to the Batutah Advocate radio show, recording live here in downtown Batutah. We are very excited this week, we've got a repeat guest. Would have been a year or two ago we had him on last time Errol. It w... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | bulletin_29_6_18_betoota_weekly_news_bulletin | Right now at Honda, find your kind of value with a low finance rate offer on selected Civic hatch and sedan models. There's never been a better time to get into a Civic, so talk to your local dealer and let's help you into a Honda today. T's and C's apply. Ends August 31st. See website for details.
You're listening to... |
cracked | why_are_there_so_many_dirty_magazines_in_the_woods | How about how in the 90s only cool girls could wear scrunchies? What about wits porn?
Wait a minute, what?
Missed out under the microscope Actually, no, I had never heard of wits porn I mean, I vaguely understood the trope You know kids skipping school going into the woods to try and find some hidden stashes of nudie... |
dropout | pro_wrestling_battlestar_galactica | From Faco to Mako, nerds are passionate about a lot of things, but there's something they love above all else, and that is correcting people. This is Um, Actually. Joining us today, we have Adam Lustick. Hello. And Dan Black. What's up? He's the bad boy of the group. And of course, Jackie Cation. Hello and welcome to m... |
dropout | camp_scary_stories | and the man in the clown mask walked out onto the lawn. His act still bloody with the guts of the family he massacred. It disappeared into the night, never to be seen again.
Ooh, that's pretty spooky, huh, guys? Not really. That was lame. Yeah, stupid story. Yeah, I've seen scary things in Gears of War 3. Okay, guys, ... |
dropout | conversational_ripcord_the_fastest_way_to_leave_a_conversation | Yeah, she's putting on a brave face, but um, fuck man, your mom, yeah, I mean... Sup little guys, what are you drinking, is this water? Just kidding, I'm kidding. Oh god, I shouldn't have come over. No, it's fine. Ever step on a conversational landmine with no clear exit? Ooh. Then you need... The Conversational Rip Co... |
dropout | women_should_be_so_embarrassed_ch_shorts | Tired of your chips being too loud? I can't eat anywhere because of it. Introducing Chomsky's new line of snacks for embarrassed ladies. That's a relief. Wait, you invented soft chips?
Why would you do that? Are you tired of drinking sodas that make you look thirsty? Oh my god, I guess that is what I look like. I'm so... |
cracked | who_needs_a_kindle | I read. A lot. I read on the bus, at meals, during breaks at work, while I masturbate. I mean, while I masturbate during my breaks at work. I love it. I love reading.
But man, I really hate lugging all my books around. I mean, I like to get through at least one book every week. Sometimes seven. Plus a classic and usua... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_trump_ordered_to_pay_83_million_desantis_endorses_trump_snl | The jury in his defamation case has ordered Donald Trump to pay Writer E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million. And Trump is a billionaire, so obviously he immediately hit up your grandma for five bucks. they ordered Trump to pay $83 million. that's how unlikable he is. for perspective, O.j. Simpson only had to pay $33 million f... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_ft_ego_nwodim_and_marcello_hernandez_snl | It's weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. good evening, everyone. welcome to weekend Update. I'm Michael Che. I'm Colin Jost. Well, the midterms are only a month away, and is it just me or some candidates trying to lose?
Let's start in Pennsylvania with Dr. Oz, seen here telling the audience how many minute... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | A_Baffled_Government_The_Vaccine_Deal_Paid_Leave_Porter_More_June_4 | You're listening to the Batutah Advocate's weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5. Welcome back to the Batutah Advocate weekly bulletin, you're joined by all three of us once again Clancy over on myself that is, Errol Parker editor at large and of course Wendell Hussey our cadet cum news reader.
How are you all gentl... |
ClickHole | heartwrenching_this_video_game_shows_what_it_s_like_to_be_an_immigrant_in_america | Hey everyone, you're watching Next Gen. Today I want to tell you about a game that provides an unflinching look at the hardships immigrants face in America. It's called Cruisin' USA, and you play as an undocumented immigrant who must work tirelessly just to make ends meet. From the moment you cross the border into Amer... |
TheOnion | White_House_Reveals_Obama_Is_Bipolar_Has_Entered_Depressive_Phase | Welcome back.
Our top story today, the shocking announcement from the White House that President Barack Obama suffers from bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is something the president has struggled with for most of his life. After a three year long manic period of extreme positivity and productivity, he has now enter... |
dropout | Big_Brother_s_Little_Sister_Cannot_Be_Turned_Off_Breaking_News | From West Hollywood, California, the only news team that doesn't know what's on the teleprompter before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is Breaking News. This is Breaking News, the show where we don't know what we're about to say and we're not allowed to smile or laugh.
I'm Jessica Crispy.... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_228_Lewis_Capaldi | Hey everyone, it's Effie Bateman here. This week we are very excited to have Lewis Capaldi joining us and if your mind fog has cleared from the weekend, you can probably tell this was recorded a few weeks ago. Nonetheless this content is evergreen, just like his new single Forget Me where you can give it a listen where... |
cracked | the_7_most_baffling_pieces_of_art_made_with_genitals_does_not_compute | Hey, humanity! I got a boner to pick with half of you, and the other half better hold on to their vaginas. See, as a proud robotic American, I am sadly without an intimate member. Ain't got no dick! Yet most of you humans, blessed with the miracle of junk, can't think of anything better to do with it than make more fil... |
dropout | how_facebook_is_like_your_desperate_ex | Cassia, Cassia, have you seen this dog with braces? Oh man, it's all over my feed. Oh no, I turned out to look at Facebook. What, why? Do you hate nerdy dogs? No, Facebook and I used to date. Oh, really? Cassia. Oh no. Cassia, do you wanna get some food? Facebook, no, we broke up. This is desperate.
What do you mean? ... |
TheOnion | Heavenly_Sources_Confirm_Jesus_Christ_Will_Transfer_To_Iowa_State_University_After_Getting_Grades_Up | From the Onion & Onion Public Radio, you're listening to The Topical. I'm your host, Leslie Price. We at The Topical listened to your feedback last week, and you overwhelmingly said you just weren't getting enough scorching hot news straight off the press. Well, we aim to please. Here are today's top stories.
More neg... |
cracked | the_true_history_of_the_jfk_conspiracy_history_according_to_cracked | Today, we're talking about everybody's favorite topic, the JFK assassination. What we all learned in school was there was a lone gunman by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald who single-handedly took out the president in 1963. The idea that one man could fire multiple shots from different locations all at the same time was a... |
SaturdayNightLive | the_tomboy_saturday_night_live | Hey. hey. little help, buddy. you. little help. throw it over, Spencer. what are you doing? I tell you what, how about I just bring it over to you? just throw it, Spencer. throw it. Well, here goes nothing. nice toss, twinkle toss. hey, where'd you learn how to throw ballet school?
I said I didn't want it and throw it... |
SaturdayNightLive | male_confidence_seminar_snl | Say it again. I'm strong. I'm desirable. people want to have sex with me.
Now Roar like a lion. Roar!
I love her! Oh, give it up for Ron, everybody.
See? that's what male charisma training is all about. confidence. You see, I used to be a lot like you guys. awkward. hated my body. walked around like this. baaah! But... |
cracked | stuff_you_didn_t_know_about_reno_911 | it was originally supposed to be a sketch show called Ugly Americans. But when Fox wasn't into the pitch, they switched it up to be a parody of the show Cops. They didn't have time to rewrite this new format before shooting the pilot, so they just improvised. Wouldn't know it from watching the show because she's amazin... |
SaturdayNightLive | taboo_snl | Okay, um, um, your parents live by once. uh, school. no. uh, beach. Yes! time's up! Oh! y'all did so good.
You sure you've never played Taboo before? scores nine to nine. The Cul-de-sac game night beat Wildin. Sweetheart, don't say Wildin. right.
Next, making their game night debut, our new neighbors, Sasha and Ian. ... |
TheOnion | Your_Insides_Look_Like_Smashed_Tomatoes_Dr_Good_Ep_1 | Welcome to the show, I'm Dr. Goode, second opinion panel. How are you guys doing? Goode now. Who wants some pills? All right.
Well, today we're going to show you some cheap, homemade alternatives to the sun. And a little later, we're going to tell you how to get knee deep in some strange after 60.
But first, we all s... |
dropout | the_weird_reason_we_think_vitamins_are_good_for_us_they_re_not_adam_ruins_everything | Vitamins are the key to health, and perhaps secure for the common cold. Now how many of you have ever heard of vitamin megadosis? Ooh, ooh, I have. But I've also heard of fairies and the Loch Ness Monster, and those won't cure your cold either. What? Vitamin supplements don't cure colds, they don't prolong your life, a... |
SaturdayNightLive | the_all_my_children_wrap_party_snl | And yes, after 41 years on television, all my children is finally coming to an end. But I, Susan Lucci, a.k.a. Erica Kane, Ugh! they. I just want to thank everyone in our wonderful crew for coming tonight. Everyone? it can't be! That's right, it's me, Cornelius Devanche. the very first stage manager of all my children.... |
dropout | my_so_called_homeland | Previously on My So-Called Homeland We have reports that Abu Nazir is planning an attack on US soil. Is it possible to die of boredom? And so then he's like, please get my family out of Iran. And I'm like, get my family out of my business.
Hey, you're Angela, right? What? No, I mean, yeah. I'm Nick Brody. I think you'... |
dropout | if_couples_acted_like_they_do_on_facebook | Chris, look at this article, seven museums we have to check out this summer. Wow, we're going. I'm going? No, I think he's still going to his girlfriend.
Michelle, I want one! This is too cute. Sushi? Yes?
There's just no need to involve us in this conversation.
Yes, so I'm going to get like a motorcycle and just cr... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_190_Spanian_Part_2 | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overall, editors of the Batooter Advocate on Desert Rock FM. And welcome back for part two of the Batooter Advocate's interview with Spanion. You're joined by myself, Clancy Overall, and of course, Errol Parker, editor-at-large of the Batooter Advocate.
In this episode, we'l... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_158_Hip_Hop_in_Australia | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overill, editors of the Batooda Advocate on Desert Rock FM. Welcome back to the Batooda Advocate radio show, recording from downtown here in Batooda. You're joined by myself, Clancy Overill, editor of the Batooda Advocate and of course Errol Parker, editor at large, how are y... |
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