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dropout | summer_of_music_the_gooch | Everybody on the floor, it's time to get down Now follow my lead in one, two, three, four A step to the left and a step to the right Swing to the left and swing to the right Now dip those hips, everybody dip those hips Come on and everybody do the Gooch Jump up high, hands to the sky to everyone Now just you and yellow... |
ClickHole | this_will_change_the_way_you_watch_apocalypse_now | Apocalypse Now Francis Ford Coppola's surreal Vietnam War story about a man trying to figure out where Marlon Brando lives is considered one of the greatest movies in American history. This epic masterpiece is filled with amazing Easter eggs and crazy behind-the-scenes stories that will change the way you watch Apocaly... |
cracked | the_a_i_that_turned_into_hitler_an_analysis_cracked_responds | Josh, Carmen, Alex. You guys ready to meet a robot friend? Her name is Tay. Microsoft created this Twitter bot that immediately within 24 hours became a monster. Should we be hiding?
Well, she's chilling now. So her creators called her AI fam from the internet that's got zero chill. Fam is family. So she is our robot ... |
SaturdayNightLive | chuck_e_cheese_snl | Come on, buddy, let's grab our seats. All right, I think the show is starting. Yeah! hey, everybody, uh, I know you came to see Chuck E. and his pals, but we have some technical problems, and Chuck E. and the Pizza Time Band are not running right now. Aw, that's why we came! Yeah, I know, I know, I'm sorry about that, ... |
TheOnion | Software_Indicates_Missing_Child_Likely_A_Prostitute_By_Now | If you're a long time viewer of Today Now, you'll remember the story of Tanya Sharley, the girl from Cleveland, Ohio that disappeared four years ago today. Pay close attention to this next segment because we are really depending on you to help us help Tanya and her mother, Rita Sharley.
Thanks so much for being here. ... |
ClickHole | we_couldn_t_get_the_rights_to_purple_rain_so_we_got_an_opera_singer_to_sing_a_similar_song | Park, I hear the pitter-patter of the feet of Sex Guy Sex Guy, he's a purple man who makes love to various people Sounds good, sounds kosher Yes it's totally fine Here comes Sex Guy, get out of Sex Guy's way Here he comes, in his purple smock and the purple towel He uses as a necktie He needs to be purple, he loves to ... |
dropout | virgin_galactic | Hello, I'm Richard Branson, British billionaire owner of Virgin Airlines, and I'm proud to announce the debut of Virgin Galactic. For just $200,000, unbuckle yourself from our all-Italian leather chairs and enjoy zero gravity in your very own custom-made spacesuit designed by in-flight tailor John Brathatos. For $1,000... |
cracked | moon_knight_episode_2_explained | Who you? Who's Dave? I'm your wife. Who's Dave? What?
Okay, once again we get that sweet sweet title card reminding us that we're not watching the Sony movie that is as sad and as long as Jared Leto taking a shit. And speaking of weirdos and their poop, Steven wakes up once again but forgets he is tied to the bed and ... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_girly_game_slumber_party | Welcome to the bleep bloop girly game slumber party. I'm your host Jeff Rubin. Joining me is Sarah Schneider, Elaine Carroll, Kate Spencer, and the girliest of all girls, Pat Cassels. You know, a lot of people think it's hard to get girls to play video games, but you just got to pick the right games. Like when I heard ... |
dropout | how_to_fill_an_awkward_amount_of_time | No, you don't get it. If I go home, I'll just have to turn right back around when I get there. I just, I don't have enough time to do anything. Sounds like someone has an awkward amount of time. Whoa. Honey? I'll call you back. Get in here. We understand that in the real world, time is a commodity. And you don't always... |
dropout | pov_rock_concert | Excuse me. Pardon. Excuse me. Pardon. Sorry. Excuse me.
I guess this works. Not exactly prime real estate. How many more opening bands are there, anyway? My dogs are barking. Next up, nine more opening bands!
Ugh, I need to take a leak. I just don't want to lose my spot. Nothing that matters with bitchheads like that... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_snooki_and_the_situation_saturday_night_live | As I just mentioned, the immensely popular cast of Jersey Shore signed a return for a second season. here to comment, we are pleased to have back with us my favorite person, Nicole Snooki Palitzi. Snooki, it is so good to see you again. Oh, Seth, it's good to see you, too. are we gonna smush? maybe later, let me google... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_blaseball | You know, with only 8 billion games left in the baseball season, we thought now would be a great chance to look at some of the new baseball video games. I'm Jeff Rubin, and joining me will be Will Leech, founder of Deadspin and editor of New York Magazine, and from College Humor, Pat and Amir. Foulball! We're going to ... |
TheOnion | Which_NCAA_Tournament_Team_Will_Struggle_Most_With_The_Pressure_Of_Playing_Under_FBI_Surveillance | Okay, later in the hour, South Carolina head women's basketball coach Dawn Staley is going to call in and answer some lazy, condescending questions from me. But first, which NCAA tournament team will struggle most with the pressure of playing under FBI surveillance? Yes, several squads like Virginia, Xavier, Villanova,... |
dropout | Mobsters_React_to_CollegeHumor_Videos | I am Marvitch, computer enhance, computer enhance. College humor? What is this? Comedy college?
Gentlemen, it's time to learn our enemy. Hi there.
Pants. Have you decided on your last meal? No, not yet. Well, you need to choose before you're in. What is it? Kiss. What? Hey, looks like it's meeting time. You guys read... |
dropout | matt_mcgorry_s_leaked_magic_mike_2_audition | Play for camera. Hi. I'm Matt McCrory. I'm auditioning for Magic Mike 2 and Play John Bennett and Orange is in the Black. Great. And also an EMT in Royal Pains Okay, and also an EMT on Person of Interest. I played also in an episode. Whenever whenever you're ready. Great.
Ladies of Tampa behold your naughtiest impulse... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | WEEKLY_BULLETIN_A_Big_Week_In_Betoota_Taylor_Swift_References_And_Romantic_Blink_182_Fans | We'll talk about where he is in a second, but I'm joined by Effie Bateman in the studio. Effie how are you? I'm good Wendell, how are you?
Yeah, pretty good. It's certainly been a huge week here in the newsroom, we're going to discuss why that is in our first story today. Errol Parker is enjoying himself, he's down in... |
ClickHole | these_people_were_at_the_fall_of_the_berlin_wall_and_their_stories_are_incredible | When the Berlin wall first went up, I was right in the middle of a conversation with this guy, and he got stuck on the other side of the wall. So now, because of this stupid wall, we have to start shouting at each other just to understand what we are saying. And I didn't even really like the guy. Everyone hated the wal... |
dropout | what_year_is_stranger_things_set_in | This is what you wanted to show us? Shouldn't we be looking for Pat? We are. Siobhan can help us. How?
She's just sitting there.
Siobhan, do you know where Pat is? Pat.
Wait a minute, what year is it? What are you talking about, you dork? It's 1983. It says so in the intro. Yeah. But these D&D figurines weren't manu... |
dropout | hardly_working_divorced_dad_all_nighter_2012 | Okay, so I come out before or after Pat says he's come for my eye boogers. So after, because remember, I'm gonna go, I've come for your eye boogers. Guys, we should really shoot. I'm getting some.
Adam! Where's my boy? Roger, you're not supposed to be here. What's going on? Jenny is Adam's mom. That's her ex.
Now we'... |
dropout | angel_dust_song | I am very happy to announce that Teenage Heartthrob, Dallas Conrad, is on the program tonight. Take it away, Dallas! Okay. And one, two, three, four. Now Christmas is a gift from heaven above Like an angel flew down the sprinkled bus with love For some brand-ear eggnog is a holiday must But my Christmas spirit comes fr... |
dropout | woman_is_afraid_of_owls | A world of fun is around the bend There's fresh surprises that will never end Come and grab me with me Grab some yarn and grab some beads Hello my darlings. Last week we made a beautiful sunshine and the week before that we made a puppy dog. Dear Kathy, I believe a good project would be a macrame owl. Owls are lots of ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_203_David_Pocock | How good is Australia?
There's fucking language. Let there be a thousand blossoms blooms, folks, I can see. But I ain't spending any time on it. Get me my valium. Don't stop wearing the speedos. You're listening to Decode, the Batutah Advocates podcast series for those Australians who have tuned out or never tuned in ... |
cracked | the_7_most_blatant_lies_famous_brands_based_entire_ads_on | 7 advertisements for our lives If you want to know why your 3G coverage works so great on Verizon Wireless, there's a map for that. And if you want to know why your friend's 3G coverage keeps her out of touch...
People do some crazy things to stay healthy. Like sleeping in hyperbaric chambers. Doing that hot yoga till... |
ClickHole | patriothole_exclusive_protect_yourself_at_your_most_vulnerable_with_patriothole_toilet_armor | When you sit on the toilet, you're more vulnerable to attacks than at any other time in your life. That's why we've created Patriot Hole Toilet Armor. Look at this. This is perfect for keeping you safe on the toilet. When you're wearing this on the toilet, there's truly nothing that an assailant can do to you, no matte... |
cracked | the_drunken_extra_that_made_being_john_malkovich_even_better | In Being John Malkovich, a puppeteer named Craig Schwartz, played by John Cusack, finds a portal to actor John Malkovich's head and starts charging people to take the guy for a spin for 15 minutes. What the fuck is going on?
That's not me. I didn't say that.
Eventually Malkovich finds out what's going on, descends in... |
ClickHole | why_vegetarian | It's just my choice. Oh, you don't eat meat? That's so weird. I don't even think about it anymore, it's just who I am.
It makes me feel healthy and good. I became a vegetarian when I was 16. My wealthy uncle died and left me his vast potato collection. I'm still working through those, and when I finish I'll probably e... |
cracked | dispatches_from_goddamn_space_episode_2_the_sad_loneliness_of_pooping_in_space | Greetings earth dwellers, I come in peace. So that's joking obviously. Not about peace. I'm very serious about that. I hope you're all having a great time with your astronomy course and that you're all learning a great deal about this vast universe that we live in. If any of you start to think that maybe you'd like to ... |
ClickHole | this_will_change_the_way_you_watch_braveheart | They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"
Braveheart Mel Gibson's 1995 epic masterpiece about getting hurt in Scotland is full of awesome trivia and rich symbolism you may have missed on your first watch. Here are some amazing facts that will change the way you watch Braveheart forever. To give the... |
dropout | how_to_sound_smart | Have you heard about this guy Joel Robbins? Oh my god, yes he's great! Are you watching his speech on living authentically? I am. It's amazing. He's so wise. Truly a profound speaker. And when we look inside ourselves, we find the opportunity to live our lives the way we want most for ourselves. Wow.
Now this guy's an... |
cracked | 5_first_ladies_more_badass_than_their_husbands | There should be an action movie about Dolly Madison, and not just because she saved White House paintings from British troops that burned the place down in 1814. Her movie's title would be First Lady, First Blood, because she was the John Rambo of emotion, throat ripping her way through 81 years of social strain and pe... |
ClickHole | how_these_compassionate_parents_were_able_to_give_their_child_s_murderer_a_piggyback_ride | It's an incredible story of kindness against all odds. In July 1994, Roger and Meredith Fulton's twelve-year-old son was murdered in cold blood. Twenty years later, they found it in their hearts to give their son's killer a piggyback ride. Your son, Andrew, was murdered by Jonathan Wetley during a robbery.
Yes. When y... |
dropout | google_street_view_guys | Hey, how's it going, man? My name's Evan. You must be Mark. Uh, no, it's Mike.
Oh, I apologize. All right. Um, should I bring peep jerky in the car? Just get in the car. All right, my bad. Okay.
So, street view it's called, huh? Yeah, I mean, how long can it take? What are we in there? Two weeks?
Yeah, I guess. It s... |
cracked | 4_iconic_movie_characters_who_are_secretly_sociopaths_yboc_elf_x_2 | This video is brought to you by NordVPN. Head over to NordVPN.com slash YBOC for 68% off a two-year plan and four months free.
Plus, it just really helps the show. Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Happy holidays, nerds. My name is St. Dr. Jordan Breeding and I would say Merry Christmas, but somebody on the internet said that was ille... |
cracked | why_the_world_of_classical_music_is_secretly_insane | Welcome to Everything Boring is Awesome, the show where information makes lame stuff into stuff that's cool as hell. This week, classical music, a musical genre so awesome, it's awesome even if you don't like the songs. Because it's beautiful music, written by nutjobs, in between the times they wrote the stupidest musi... |
dropout | stormtroopers_9_11 | I don't know I just feel like we all have really great aim until the second we put on these helmets You know, I don't want to be a downer, but you guys do know what tomorrow is what's my anniversary of the death star The Death Star. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. It's been a year already Man such a huge thing and all it took was... |
TheOnion | Chef_Cooks_Dream_Omelet_That_Came_To_Him_In_A_Dream | Joined now by Chef Adam Scott, famous cookbook author and chef, and he's going to show us how to get our day started off the right way with a hot meal. Welcome back to the show, Adam.
Jim, it's always a pleasure to be here. Thanks.
Now, what have we got cooking up today? Today, we're going to be making what I call th... |
cracked | steve_carell_will_not_be_reviving_michael_scott_for_the_office_spin_off | Will Steve Carell be making a surprise appearance in the Office reboot?
In the original run, making the Office watchable after losing Steve Carell was an impossible task, but the new show seems promising, as an expansion of the Office franchise with a new mockumentary series, set at a struggling Midwestern newspaper w... |
dropout | vibrators_for_women_designed_by_men_ch_shorts | Introducing the Lovematic Annihilator, another vibrator for women, designed by men. Through extensive research of Reddit and this one porno I dig, we designed a vibrator with everything a woman could want. First, a hyper long shaft, thick too. This shaft is designed to give her unending waves of pleasure, it's for her.... |
rpunctuated | rpunctuated_aerotoilet_snl | Wow, family reunion isn't it. We Haven't had this many people in the house in two years. I Know, but I'm honestly a little worried about all these people using our bathroom. Can The septic handle it? Don't worry. We've got AeroToilet. Aero What? From The Makers of AeroBed, now there's AeroToilet. The Inflatable guest t... |
dropout | perfect_body_lesbian_kiss_and_ball_busting_collegehumor_comment_show | Welcome to the comment show where we respond to your YouTube comments. I think this is actually the original cast of the pilot, if you will. Whoa, boys are back in town! Reunited. I think you should do the honors of the first one because you wrote this video. Yeah.
The secret to a perfect body, colon genetics. With ge... |
cracked | 10_ways_science_says_you_can_appear_more_attractive | Hey! Hey you! In front of the green screen! Hmmm... Shut up! I'm here to teach you the ways of love, my friend. With science!
They're caveman brains hiding every female head on the planet. And you can use primeval urges hardwired into them to hack the womanly psyche. I'm talking lab-tested methodologies for picking up... |
dropout | an_honest_call_with_your_bank | This call may be monitored or recorded because we're Big Bank and... Thank you for calling Big Bank. Your call is not important to us.
Oh, hi. I have a question that I could easily take care of online. Great. Is this Miss Alison Beardsley? I'm making sure to use your full name so this whole interaction feels uncomfort... |
dropout | halloween_please_take_one_prank | Happy Halloween everyone out there on the internet, I am David from CollegeHumor.com and this year Sobe has sent us out to the beautiful and tropical state of New Jersey. Thank you Sobe.
To pull off the ultimate Halloween prank, here's how it's going to look. There's always that one house in the neighborhood with a bu... |
cracked | leonardo_da_vinci_history_s_most_unexpected_supervillain_today_s_topic | So I'm researching this DaVinci article. It's about how DaVinci could have saved humanity with his inventions. The ex-DaVinci inventions that could have led to utopia. Look at this.
He designed freaking armored tanks and shit. Armored tanks, man! And shit!
Right, which could lead to a utopia.
So how about you just c... |
TheOnion | Trump_Voter_Feels_Betrayed_By_President_After_Reading_800_Pages_Of_Queer_Feminist_Theory | I voted for Donald Trump. I voted for Trump because I thought he'd create a better America for everyone.
But after reading 800 or so pages on queer feminist theory, I realize now just how much I've been duped. You've got to understand, I come from a small steel town in Pennsylvania. If I had known the foundational tex... |
dropout | hardly_working_phantom_misses_sarah_part_2 | I just met you. And this is crazy. Call me baby. Oh, what? Oh, shit! Help! Drive! Shit. Phantom? Winning! Oh, what the fuck? Slow your roll, Chicken Little. That didn't even make sense.
What are you doing? Are you going to stab me? Stab you?
These are for my charcuterie class I teach. Now, I'm not going to carve up a... |
SaturdayNightLive | classified_press_conference_cold_open_snl | Criminals beware! there's a new sheriff in town, and he means business. First, he hunted down the January 6th Insurrectionists and made them pay! Now he's searching for classified documents, and he's coming for whoever has them. Democrat, Republican, or whatever Trump is now.
And you don't want to be in his crosshairs... |
cracked | the_5_most_baffling_celebrity_endorsements | I just got the insurance quote from my wheels texted to my phone I demanded a quote 60 seconds ago you think I'm selling car insurance well I'm not I'm selling time look at my face and am I happy or am I sad anyone wants my car insurance papers I'm happy because I'm online hell I am the line you'll never find as long a... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Decode_Introducing_Betoota_s_New_Politics_Podcast | How are you? I'm always good, Wendell. How are you, mate? Fighting fit, feeling very good. Clancy, you alright? I'm alright, mate.
Excited for this new project. Yeah, trying to wrap our head around politics. Now, if you listened to our episode a couple of weeks ago, you would be aware of the fact that we here at The P... |
dropout | Make_Some_Noise_with_Brennan_Lee_Mulligan_Jess_McKenna_Andy_Bustillos_Full_Episode | Tonight, a cool guy walking away from an explosion, but when it goes off, he flinches a little bit. It's Brett and Lee Mulligan. A ghost adjusting things around the house just to freak you out. It's Jess McKenna. And someone confused where their entrance is supposed to be. It's Annie Bustillos.
They're all here to mak... |
CrackerMilk | living_with_ghosts_a_documentary | This is going to be hard for a lot of people to believe, but yeah, I'm being haunted by a ghost. No, it's not scary, living with a ghost, it was a little bit in the beginning, but now it's just more of a nuisance. He's just never left. I've tried talking to a bunch of people about this, and none of them actually respon... |
dropout | we_re_from_the_same_town | Any plans for the weekend? Just gonna make a quick trip back home to Chicago. A Chicago kid, huh?
Me too. You must know Jackson Park. It sounds familiar. Is that by Navy Pier?
No, why? Did you live around there? Not really.
Do you know, uh, Lumonati's Deep Dish Pizza? I love Deep Dish, but I was actually more a fan ... |
cracked | why_homer_simpson_might_be_god_after_hours | And lead us not into pointless reboots, but deliver us from prequels, for thine is the iron throne, the one true ring, and the phoenix down, for endless extra innings, Batman. Batman. Soren, you, uh, didn't say Batman?
I'm sorry, I just have to say, even though we've never mentioned it before, we do this weird nerd pr... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_raheem_abdul_muhammed_on_horror_movies_snl | And now, here's our Newsbreak Film Critic, Raheem Abdul-mahamud. Raheem. Thank you, Brian Don Murray, And thank you for that warm round of applause. I'm Raheem Abdul-mahamud, and as you can pretty well imagine, I spend a hell of a lot of time in dark rooms watching movies. And it seems like about 90% of the movies I se... |
ClickHole | the_mind_of_a_master_watch_arcade_fire_s_win_butler_describe_his_songwriting_process_step_by_step | A really great song has three parts, a beak, an anus, and a hat, and any good artist will be able to tell you when they got all three. When I sit down to write a song, the first thing I usually do is take all my clothes off and throw up all over the place. That way I'm kind of in the groove, I don't have to worry about... |
dropout | go_to_college_music_video_live_with_first_lady_michelle_obama | I am now excited to turn things over to some of the most talented people I know. The folks who, along with college humor, helped me debut my rap career by taping a rap of me in the White House.
Let's give it up for Jay Pharo and the Gregory Brothers! Give it up! We just got a webby off of this song, so that's pretty d... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_118_Christopher_Pyne | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overall, editors of The Batooter Advocate, on Desert Rock FM. Hello and welcome back to The Batooter Advocate radio show. My name is Errol Parker, and on today's show we are having a very special guest, but we didn't have him in the studio because he was in Sydney.
Clancy re... |
TheOnion | More_Candidates_Court_Fat_Vote | Recent surveys show that over 60% of Americans are now overweight, a statistic that is not lost on the 2008 presidential hopefuls. They're interested in my vote and they'll eat the things that I like to eat. Candidates have been stopping in cities across the country to show fat voters that they love eating just like th... |
TheOnion | Land_The_Perfect_Job_By_Having_Your_Rich_Dad_Set_You_Up_Brought_To_You_By_Cottonelle | We've all heard it. Times are tough. I can't get a job. Nobody's hiring in this economy. Everyone wants to complain.
But I have an important, life-changing message for those who do. Get it together and have your rich dad hook you up with a job at his company. Put your nose to the grindstone and say, Dad, fine, I'll co... |
ClickHole | this_high_school_senior_without_a_prom_date_asked_kate_upton_to_kill_him | Hey Kate, James here. You may be wondering why I'm making this video, so here goes. Right now, I'm a senior at Leland Prep in San Mateo, California, and my last chance to go to prom is only a week away. But here's the thing. I don't have a date. Literally every girl I asked said no. So Kate, I know you're probably real... |
SaturdayNightLive | attebury_tennis_lesson_saturday_night_live | Well, for crying out loud, Leslie White means why? You know what? Ginger?
No one gives a hot damn about what I'm wearing. Well, I'm not sure where in the club guidelines. it says that lemon sherbert qualifies as why? This seems like a very strange time of life to take a stand. Closest supposedest thing I had in my clo... |
dropout | feel_bad_for_the_bad_guy_hardly_working | Brennan, if I was an animal, what animal would I be? A horse. A horse? I don't want to be a horse, why? Just because of your beautiful mane.
Oh no. Okay. Okay, I like it now. Rika, your turn. Okay.
Brian, if I didn't have this job, where would I work? 7-Eleven. My God. Are you okay? Brian? We know you didn't mean to ... |
dropout | can_you_beat_a_duck_in_a_trivia_game | Welcome to the only game show that pitches you against a duck in a series of multiple choice questions. This is You Versus a Duck. My contestants today, Emily Axford, Patrick Castles, Brian Murphy, and Adam Conover. And last but certainly not least, Quackers.
He's not even human.
Question number one. Genophobia is th... |
SaturdayNightLive | blizzard_man_with_diddy_and_de_niro_snl | All right Diddy, you're a week past deadline on this album. I hope you have some good stuff to show us. Don't worry about it.
I got this guy that's coming in. that's crazy. he's the hottest hook guy in the business. Oh, yeah, who's that? Trey Songs better? Bruno Mars? No Blizzard Man. Well, the Blizzard Man. yeah, I'v... |
cracked | 4_disturbing_mario_adventures_nintendo_doesn_t_want_you_to_see_canonball | Even if you've been there for Mario's entire journey from 8-bit blob to body-snatching haberdasher to Prime Minister of Japan? Mamma mia! I hope she made lots of smogas!
There's still a lot you may not know about the aman behind of the mustache. We're plunging way deeper than the blurps, the bloopers, even the blargs,... |
SaturdayNightLive | bowling_alley_saturday_night_live | No, no, a 7-10 split. I can't believe it. the impossible split of all time. This is Unbelievable. I can't believe it. This is amazing. the 7-10, the ball is cursed. Unbelievable. I can't believe this. it's amazing. it's unbelievable. Oh! this is absolutely unbelievable. this is amazing. you know what I'm talking about?... |
cracked | how_frank_ocean_trolled_the_music_industry_cracked_responds | Bridget, Christian, Frank Ocean built a staircase in a warehouse and it's like the biggest thing that's happened in music You need to know about it if you don't and we need to talk about it if you do So if you're if you're not totally on top of it quick version it was like we've been waiting for four years for Frank Oc... |
dropout | how_to_sell_a_haunted_house | This house was whack. Now it's real as hell. This is flip yo' s**t. Oh, okay. So you don't see me walking here. The Collins family asked me to help them flip their home. Let's see what we're in for. Come on. I am going to drop an honesty bomb on your faces. This house is perfect. Well... It's haunted. Quit playing. He'... |
cracked | the_scarier_story_you_missed_in_the_background_of_jaws | Jaws, the classic movie about a bloodthirsty turbo shark in the resort town full of rich people who can't stop beating themselves to it, terrified a generation of viewers like me into never going to the beach ever again. People today would still rather spend their weekends shitting in a wading pool than go anywhere nea... |
dropout | derrick_s_jazz_man | Jazz, the only true American art form, and no jazz musician contributed more to this most American of art forms than Kyle Jellymouth Williams. Jellymouth was one of the first mainstream black performers. White America, black America, everyone loved Jellymouth, yet he still encountered racial inequality everywhere he we... |
SaturdayNightLive | boston_teens_ski_lift_snl | Hey, Tommy, is it on? are you getting this? I want to make sure we document my worst vacation ever! Save it, Sully! here we are on a class ski trip to picturesque Mount Wachusett. to my far right is my girlfriend of nine years, Denise. we are currently not on speaking terms. snuggling by my side instead? a stranger. wh... |
TheOnion | Should_Companies_Discontinue_Unpaid_Intern_Fights | Internships have been a source of controversy lately, as many are beginning to question whether interns deserve to be paid when fighting each other for their boss's amusement. Chad Williams has more. Getting coffee, taking notes at meetings, beating each other senseless before crowds of cheering executives. The jobs of... |
dropout | every_wedding_speech_ever_ch_shorts | Alright, congrats again to the newlyweds and I hope everybody has a full drink because it is time for EVERY WEDDING SPEECH EVER! Hi everyone, I hope you're all having as much fun as I am tonight. For those of you who do not know me, I am the maid of honor. I am the groom's brother. He felt obligated to make me the best... |
dropout | nerd_alert_burlesque | This week on NerdAlert, we are going to check out three nerdy burlesque shows. Yes, you read the title of the video correctly, I said nerdy burlesque shows. We're gonna see something called Nerdlesque. We are going to see a Twin Peaks theme show and a post-apocalyptic review by a group called D20. I don't know why we'r... |
dropout | a_dirty_cop_s_worst_nightmare | You can't take me off the case, Chief! I'm too close to busting this thing wide open! You destroyed 15 city blocks, McCluskey! My hands are tied! It's my case!
Oh yeah, was that so hot? Well, look at this, buddy! You're suspended! With pay! With pay? Yeah, that's right. You think you can suspend me with pay?!
God dam... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_china_s_population_decline_andy_murray_denied_bathroom_break_snl | It was reported that last year, the population of China declined by 850,000 people, thanks to an increase in China's leading cause of death protesting. China plans to reverse the population decline with an emergency import of Nick Cannon. good news, that's a happy ending, Colin. happy ending to that joke. due to a comp... |
dropout | everyone_s_favorite_new_cast_member | Okay guys, very exciting pitch meeting today. We have our two new cast members. Hey, what's up?
I'm Allie. And I'm Raphael. Haha, yeah.
Do you already have like your own catch phrase or? The way this normally works for the new people is we'll just kind of go around and... It was only the first day and already I could... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_angry_birds | To me, Angry Birds is the best game of 2010 because it hooked so many people who would have never otherwise played video games. The kind of person who like just a few months ago would have killed time by like reading a book. Angry Birds is a game where birds forget how birds work and decide to attack pigs using an insa... |
cracked | proof_game_of_thrones_is_just_messing_with_us_now_winter_is_taking_forever | Hey everyone, welcome to this week's episode of winner is taking forever. It's our weekly game of thrones recap show and Boy, howdy is winter taking forever.
So yeah, this week's episode starts off with Aria who's been stabbed in the gut But it's strangely not like super injured. She's like, uh, oh Bummer, it's like a... |
dropout | skyline_fitness_stretching | You know, big guys are known for a lot of things, protecting women, winning at sports and a ton of other stuff. But being flexible isn't one of those things. You know, many... You're sitting down, man. You guys got it. You have to stand up. Don't yawn, either. You know, big guys are known for a lot of things, protectin... |
dropout | all_nighter_rap_intro | Now, yo, deaf, jiff, what's a fucking deaf? College humor is coke, you're addicted with one sniff Or a spliff or a toke, it's smooth like vapor Now Murph, rip the mic like it's perforated paper What? Yo, what up, what up, what up? This is embarrassing Oh, shit! Jake and Amir, Jake and Amir Does someone say yes and rais... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | ep_32_dr_karl_kruzelnicki | My name is Errol Parker. Hello, hello.
Thanks for tuning in on Clancy Overall. And joining Errol and myself in the studio today will be a man with an incredible brain, a beautiful mind. Yeah, he's a veritable fountain of knowledge there, Clancy, a household name around the country who's been spreading science for deca... |
cracked | the_10_most_insane_things_you_didn_t_know_about_the_universe_marvels_of_the_science_episode_6 | Our world is full of being in many worlds, from the oceans of the sun to just left of that, from the floating planet canyons of Arizona to whatever this is supposed to be. I'm Professor Scott Bugg, tenured at the Academy of Thinks on Lambshire Hedge in Shrubshire Brook. Today we will discuss the laws and building block... |
dropout | Who_Got_High_and_Fought_a_Sea_Lion_with_a_Pool_Noodle_Dirty_Laundry_Clip | Who got high and fought a sea lion with a pool noodle? Josh is from Orange County. What do you mean when you get a pool? Where do you get a pool noodle from is your biggest question.
I believe in animal rights. I believe animals have a right to sovereignty.
I don't even eat honey, fun fact, because I believe bees hav... |
dropout | Dirty_Laundry_Full_Episode_Vic_Michaelis_Raphael_Chestang_Ryan_Creamer_Carolyn_Page | There are some secrets we take to the grave and others we plaster online for laughs. This is Dirty Laundry.
I'm your host, Lily Du. And today I am joined by a Bloody Mary, Vix and Kalis. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here.
A Bloody Grant, Raphael Chestang. Yep, that's me. That's when Grant gets dru... |
dropout | when_sex_is_lethal | And that's when I finally bred this, a plant that can feel pain!
Can we just have a normal detention this week? Oh, where's the fun in that? If you don't like my detentions, then stay out of trouble! Why are you here anyway? This fucking fascist school is punishing me for distributing condoms and promoting safe sex.
... |
Wizards_with_Guns | what_does_a_brown_colored_lightsaber_mean_sith_or_jedi | Here we are! Two opposing yet equal forces! One light, one dark, symbolizing the struggle that Jedi and Sith have witnessed for eons, but always to end in the draw, for the balance!
He's not a Jedi, he just killed our ally. I think I know a Jedi when I see one. Clearly that's a Jedi. Are you talking about his lightsab... |
dropout | how_to_tell_if_you_re_a_basic_bitch | Good morning, you two. Good morning.
Got your results back. I'm sorry, but the test was positive. You're a basic bitch. Doctor, there has to be a mistake. Well, unfortunately, no. Your symptoms are completely in line with other basic bitches.
You're into scented candles. You order your bagel scooped. Then you own a p... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | bulletin_21_8_19_special_george_pell_news_bulletin_edition | You're joined today as always by myself editor Clancy Overall and of course editor at large Errol Parker. How are you Errol? Not bad man, how are you? Good thanks. And of course reading the news is the David Campbell of the Diamantina Shire. Wendell Hussey how are you? Very well thank you Clancy it's been a busy day.
... |
cracked | why_the_most_terrifying_movie_alien_isn_t_who_you_think_after_hours | Tom Hardy was tits. Although I was kind of bummed he never murdered that wheezy dick.
Don't spoil it. I haven't actually seen this one yet. You haven't seen it?
How are we going to do our whole thing? I have a thing planned.
That's not the Dan we know. Wait, you think? Think what? That that's not the Dan we know. Ma... |
cracked | 5_biggest_mistakes_in_john_wick_chapter_4_cinemistakes | What's up everybody, you already know who it is. It's your boy, Steven Spielberg, back with another episode of Cinema Sticks. The show where we take some of Hollywood's hottest films and we absolutely skewer them. That's, yeah, they're going on the skewer stick. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Today, we're talking about John ... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_drunk_uncle_on_why_he_hates_halloween_snl | Well, friends, Halloween and families around the country are getting ready for parties and trick-or-treating. Here with his thoughts is our own drunk uncle. Happy Halloween! I'm sorry. you can't even say, it's all Hallows' Eve anymore. you gotta call it all Hallows' Steve. I don't think you do. So, drunk Uncle, you say... |
dropout | finally_a_female_killer_ch_shorts | What do you got for me, Davies?
Triple homicide. The victims' wounds perfectly match what we saw last month in Columbus. We got a serial killer on our hands. Whoever did this is one sick fuck who wanted to see his victims tortured. When we find this asshole, I'm gonna make sure he pays.
She pays. What are you saying,... |
dropout | hardly_working_sarah_s_birthday | Ready, and open! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Isn't it? What's wrong with you guys?
I am so embarrassed. I can't remember how the song goes. Yeah, I know. Me too. I completely forgot the words.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah, I know it goes like, ba-da-da, but I can't remember. No, no, it's like, happy ba-da-da. I lost it. I feel ... |
dropout | scarlett_johansson_s_nude_voicemails | Welcome, crack, to the celebrities' skin-washed smut-butt leak-down! A few weeks back, her spicy nikki pics made our schlongazords go bang-bang! Now ScarJo's phone's been hacked again! This time, the hacker benefactor jacked her super-secret nude voicemails!
Hey, I just thought this would make you laugh. Just now, I w... |
cracked | the_worst_fantasy_football_team_ever_drafted | And there it is, ladies and gentlemen, your home team, the Callilling Fields. Boo! You're too good! It's not fun for us! Why are your fans booing you? I don't even know how they are. They love an underdog story, I can't possibly please them.
How'd your team turn out? Pretty good, maybe. I think I'm getting the hang of... |
TheOnion | The_Onion_Looks_Back_At_The_Birds | Let's take a look at The Birds, the classic that solidified Alfred Hitchcock as a master of the horror genre. It's a frightening film, but one perhaps most notable for the terror that took place behind the scenes, as the famously demanding director used intimidation and psychological torture to ensure that his birds ga... |
TheOnion | Tim_Wakefield_Admits_Knuckleball_Just_Fastball_He_Throws_Very_Slowly | I don't care about it, but some people do let's shut up and talk with one of those weirdos OSN baseball analyst Jim Ridgeway. Hey Kenny. Hey Doc. Keep it to yourself. Don't condescend to us. All right guys.
The Yankees had a tremendous season, but you wrote an OSN magazine that A-Rod's advancing agent injuries might l... |
dropout | in_defense_of_puns | I'm just saying, if you're a vegetarian, that means you can't wear leather. Are you sure your opinion can't be... suede?
Oh, god. Boo! No!
It's on your back! Alright, alright, we get it. You're so smart because you don't like puns. You've donned your cloak of superiority to disguise your enjoyment. But now, disguise!... |
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