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SaturdayNightLive | myspace_saturday_night_live | What's up, everybody? I am pumped to welcome you to The Learning Annex's Myspace and you seminar. Today, we're going to help you guys set up a myspace page so that you can communicate with more than 6 million young people currently in the Myspace community. Ok, let's get started. huh, You know, this is a slightly older... |
cracked | the_worst_afterlives_ever_imagined_in_movies_and_religions_the_cracked_podcast | Please welcome the Cracked Podcast Live! On my episode of the Cracked Podcast, my name is Jack O'Brien. I'm the Editor-in-Chief of Cracked. And joining me on stage over there, we have the head of Cracked Video.
He won't find out until the end of the show that he was secretly dead the whole time. Please welcome Daniel ... |
TheOnion | GOP_Trying_To_Keep_Elderly_Voting_Base_Alive_Until_November | The Romney campaign this week rolled out what analysts say is a crucial strategy to winning the White House, attempting to keep as many members of their geriatric voting base alive until election day.
With more, we're joined by Piper Cahill. Hi, Andrea. Hi there, Piper.
So, data shows a large percentage of Republican... |
TheOnion | tough_season_championship_season_1_ep_8_brought_to_you_by_lenovo | Previously on Tough Season, Brad learned that the notorious owner nobody had ever met was Zach, his boss's 13-year-old son. May the best man please. The championship, an undefeated juggernaut versus an unexpected challenger. No game has ever held this level of significance in fantasy football or any other sport. Before... |
dropout | dora_the_explorer_and_the_destiny_medallion_part_3 | Don't look at me like that Dora. You know how tough exploring can be. You quit the game, so I found Some help. There's a difference between exploring and swiping Diego. You used to know that Is anyone else afraid of the grumpy old troll? Yes, okay. I am goodbye Look when I was asking it if you leave I shoot you okay We... |
SaturdayNightLive | ramy_youssef_shares_why_he_s_thrilled_to_host_saturday_night_live | Hey, I'm Rami Yousif, and I am honored to be the first ever Arab host of Saturday Night Live. Oh, hey, man.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but you're actually not the first to host. Okay. that's embarrassing. All right. sorry. thank you for the feedback.
Yeah, just do it again.
I'm thrilled to be the first ever Egyptian ho... |
dropout | the_straightest_dude_ever | Hey, sorry, I'm late. No worries. Thanks for coming.
Oh, yeah, of course by the way, I brought my friend John. That's okay What do you have to bring John who's John he's one of those straight guys that's always shoving it in your face He's flaming straight Ooh, what's up guys? Cool party. You need me to fix your fuse ... |
cracked | crazy_behind_the_scenes_stories_of_classic_films_the_spit_take | Hello, the internet, and welcome to another episode of The Spit Take. My name's Jack O'Brien. I'm the editor-in-chief of Cracked, and you've probably heard about classic movies that were legendary disasters behind the scenes. Jaws' mechanical shark was famously a fake-looking, lazy-ass...
Here it comes! The shark is c... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Goran_Stolevski_the_filmmaker_of_OF_AN_AGE_HOUSEKEEPING_FOR_BEGINNERS_and_YOU_WON_T_BE_ALONE | You have stepped into a mystical place, the last video store, a video store that has every single film on its shelves and I am its most humble clerk, Alexi Toliopoulos and it is my honour to be hosting this show and bringing you into this world. Our guest this week is filmmaker Goran Stalevsky, a wonderful filmmaker an... |
cracked | censors_couldn_t_stop_ruining_90s_animated_shows_canonball_spider_man_x_men_tmnt | Making animated superhero shows is tricky because comic books are like this, and cartoons are more like this. Comics are like this, and cartoons are like this. Thing ring, do your thing! Comics and cartoons, you get the idea.
Is a certain degree of censorship inevitable and even necessary when children are part of you... |
programmersarealsohuman | interview_with_senior_php_developer_deprecated | Backward compatibility is overrated. Do you know how many jobs were created because of that PHP 7 thing? Alright, let's start Let's maybe avoid all the PHP jokes. I told my friends I'm a PHP dev. Now you have no friends. PHP is not dead.
Is it? Split, split, split, explode. WordPress, Joomla, Drupal, Chupac and a mill... |
ClickHole | these_people_s_alien_abduction_stories_will_blow_your_mind | My brother and I used to work on my uncle's ranch out in Utah every summer, you know hurting the cows, feeding them, stuff like that. There was this one night we were out in the field and suddenly there was this incredibly bright light descending from the sky. Next thing we knew we were in this big white room and stand... |
dropout | movie_make_up_makes_acting_hard | Wake up.
They'll be back soon. We have to get out of here. What happened?
When I was a child, my father swayed me. That the universe is a dark and cold place. But only the strong will prosper.
What are you? When your people came to my galaxy, you took everything from us. You look insane. And I also, like, recognize ... |
cracked | we_remade_mission_impossible_fallout_for_20 | The end you always feared is coming. The mission impossible for... You had a huge choice to make in Berlin. It was one of the biggest choices I've ever seen. And now the world is at risk. There is violence on many sides. Some of them, I assume, were good people.
If he'd have held on to the plutonium, we wouldn't be ha... |
TheOnion | 2011_Top_Story_One_Of_Arizona_s_Many_Crazed_Gunmen_Shoots_Congresswoman | Now, a tragic event from this year. You might recall that on January 8th, the nation was shocked when one of Arizona's approximately 30 daily shootings injured a member of the United States Congress. Let's take a look now at an Onion News Network broadcast from that tumultuous day. We're receiving reports that a U.S. R... |
SaturdayNightLive | no_wrestling_saturday_night_live | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. hey. what's up, Sarah? hey, Tracy, how's it going?
Sweet. you wouldn't happen to have a cigarette like a bum, would you? Uh, again, I told you I don't smoke, so, no, I wouldn't have any cigarettes on me.
School, don't worry about it. I just heard some trash talking about you. I tho... |
SaturdayNightLive | george_w_bush_cold_opening_message_from_president_saturday_night_live | The following is an address by the President of the United States: Good evening, my fellow Americans! This past Tuesday, you went to the polls in the first midterm election of this presidency, and you made history as the party holding the White House.
Republicans were expected to lose seats in both the house and Senat... |
SaturdayNightLive | beavis_and_butt_head_snl | Welcome to News Nation. I'm Bobbi Moore. in tonight's live stream Town Hall, we'll discuss the potential power and pitfalls of the coming Ai revolution. you won't want to miss this. I'm joined by Mit Dean of Technology, Professor Norman Heming. Thank you, Bobbi. Well, let's get into it.
Professor, you've been very out... |
dropout | dora_the_explorer_and_the_destiny_medallion_part_1 | You're going to want to let go of my hand. You're not leaving with that money. You really shouldn't use time shift at your parents' permission.
Diego! What the hell are you doing here?
It disappeared, Dora. I was worried about you. I haven't needed a babysitter since the third grade. That was last year.
Look. It's S... |
dropout | Hardware_Store_CEO_We_re_Rebranding_For_Some_Reason | Hi America, my name is Mark Hardstart, and I'm the CEO of Midland Park Hardware, founded in 1948 by my father, Carl Hardstart, built on the simple values of honesty, integrity, and being a good neighbor. That tradition of authenticity has positioned us with a unique brand asset to disrupt the global local domestics ind... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_stefon_on_more_of_summer_s_hottest_tips_snl | Well, it's almost summertime in New York, which means millions of people will be hitting the streets to see what New York in the summer has to offer. here, with some tips on what they should check out.
Yeah, you guessed it. our City Correspondent, Stephon. here he is, my man. Hey, Stephon. Hi. what are you up to, budd... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_215_Troy_Cassar_Daley_Round_2 | Errol Parker here. Clancy Overall is off sick doing something, I'd say he's sick, he's been asked to use up his annual leave by the board. So this week we've got Wendell Hussey in on the program. Wendell, how are you? Yeah, going really well, thanks Errol.
Look, I actually saw on Clancy's Instagram story a photo of Pi... |
dropout | don_t_ask_don_t_tell | I see a whole mess of panzers along the western front. What are we gonna do sir? I'll tell you what we're gonna do. I'm gonna run over there rendezvous with that division. You're gonna give me cover fire. Yes sir.
Oh and son, there's a reason they don't have sixties in the army.
Now cover me! Sarge! David!
Now you s... |
SaturdayNightLive | pete_davidson_stand_up_monologue_snl | Ladies and gentlemen, Keith Davidson. it's great to be back. All right. All right, I'm gonna get right into it.
I, uh, trying to bond with my sister. you know, I'm about to be 30. I'm turning 30 next month.
Yeah. it's over. You know, it's over. um, trying to bond with my sister. you know, I feel like we should have a... |
dropout | clock_suckers_ben_franklinstein | Who you got in this one? I'm all over the three chair.
Downer Syndrome. And they're off. Dobo's up to a fest, followed closely by Prickly Pete, falling behind is Downer Syndrome.
But wait! It's the home stretch! Downer Syndrome's making his move! It's gonna be a close one, folks! And the finish line is... Come on! Ye... |
dropout | ways_hitler_was_like_a_teenage_girl | So then Billy Francesi asked me out and I was like, as if. Hey ladies, I got some pizza bagels for your sleepover fun, right? Ah, mama, that is pepperoni on all of them. Cannot eat that. I'm a vegetarian.
Well, since when? Since forever.
You don't even know me. He's his murderer. Now get out! I'll just leave him in c... |
cracked | scott_bug_q_a_how_our_brains_are_killing_us_ | Professor. What? Your contemporary doctor for Whistleby-Perk claims that brains are made of electricity. Do you agree? Why or why not? You say contemporary, but I would actually Google him. He is no longer a part of our circles and I'll tell you why.
Brains have these tiny little ridges and ripples in them. Here's an ... |
TheOnion | Retiring_Pope_Half_Heartedly_Suggests_Grabbing_Lunch_Sometime_With_God | The retiring pope half-heartedly suggests grabbing lunch sometime with God, Iran promises to end its nuclear program in exchange for a detailed diagram of an atomic bomb, and a battle of wits with an unwieldy burrito reaches its thrilling endgame. You can call this filthy little arrangement of ours whatever the hell yo... |
SaturdayNightLive | so_you_think_you_won_t_snap_cold_open_snl | Hello America, have you noticed that everyone around you is angry and crazy? people are flipping out at Target, stabbing his back, and the only thing that can cheer us up is watching a sexy show about Jeffrey Dahmer. we are living on the edge and tonight I'm here to push us over as we play. Yes! Oh, that's right. I'm y... |
cracked | 5_jurassic_park_plot_holes_with_horrifying_implications_after_hours | The Dilophosaurus existed during the Jurassic period, but not the T-Rex or raptors. T-Rex and raptors are closer in time to humans than they are to the Dilophosaurus.
That's like if aliens made a human zoo, and they cloned super futuristic guys, and also the flipper having fish things we evolved from, and put them all... |
cracked | the_8_most_unintentionally_hilarious_amateur_music_videos_cracked_tv | Coming in at number 8 this week is a heartfelt plea from Rhett Dogg. Here he is with Why Must I Cry. Why Must I Cry.
Alright, watch it Rainbow Six, that's no way to climb the charts. Especially not against our number 7 artist, someone I certainly wouldn't mind seeing in the shower. Here's Jan Terry with Losing It. Ter... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | WEEKLY_BULLETIN_Princess_Kate_Gets_Jungle_Fever_the_Up_Late_and_Cooked_Run_Club_Takes_Off_and_ | You're listening to the Batutah Advocates Weekly News Wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5 Welcome back to the weekly Batutah Bulletin as opposed to the Batutah Talks which also comes out weekly which is our interview program. This most recent one was New South Wales Premier Chris Minns, the most unenthusiastic man at Sydney Ga... |
dropout | This_Empty_Field_Is_Technically_a_Restaurant | My restaurant is about something. It's not just food, it's not just eating. In fact, sometimes it's neither of those things. Julia cares about the environment.
When she started, she would ask questions like, where did this food come from? How did it get here? Why don't you know? Why are you sweating? Where are you goi... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | bulletin_16_9_19_betoota_weekly_news_bulletin | We're doing it on Monday this week because we actually had a little bit of a spanner thrown in the works. We dropped a John Law's podcast last Monday, which is usually when we drop our interviews, but we received a lot of feedback from management of the man and our own fans saying they'd like us to redo that interview.... |
cracked | that_time_leslie_nielsen_fake_farted_in_front_of_priscilla_presley | Right now everyone's talking about the movie Priscilla, but what I want to talk about is the time that Leslie Nielsen fake farted in front of Priscilla Presley on a movie set.
Now, if you don't know this already, Leslie Nielsen king of comedy He always had a fart machine on him.
No matter where he went He did not lea... |
cracked | if_tmz_s_reporters_were_self_aware | Alright gang, another day, another missed opportunity to turn our lives around. What do we got?
I got Morgan Freeman to flip me off. He seems really nice. How did you do that? Followed him and flashed him with my high beams until he ran off the curb. He told me I should be ashamed of myself.
It was a real low point. ... |
dropout | very_mary_kate_recap | If you haven't been watching here's what's up getting a cat was like the best idea ever. What are you gonna name him comment? Oh my god, I'm takes your bodyguard. It's like so hot bodyguard supposed to be saving me not screwing you You're nothing like your sister. I know You actually muncher put the gun down Mary Kate.... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_the_gay_couple_from_new_jersey_on_same_sex_marriage_in_vermont_snl | After its state legislature overturned, the Governor's veto allowing same-sex marriage, Vermont became the third state this week to provide full marriage rights for gays and lesbians. Here to comment are two of our old friends, the gay couple from New Jersey. All right! welcome back to the show, guys. Now, you two last... |
SaturdayNightLive | vincent_price_s_halloween_special_ii_with_john_f_kennedy_jon_hamm_snl | You're watching Tv land in the common room at a nursing home. Up next, Vincent Price's 1960 Halloween Special. Sit down, it's that time of year when the tombs come open, and the spirits rise from their graves. am I in the shot? Oh, the talking skeleton doesn't work if I'm in the shot. What's rehearsal even for? Don't i... |
TheOnion | Goofy_Beats_Ron_DeSantis_To_Death_With_Crowbar | Goofy has beaten Ron DeSantis to death with a crowbar. The ongoing feud reached new heights yesterday when the governor of Florida was ruthlessly murdered by one of Disney's top mascots. Goofy reportedly snuck up behind DeSantis and while doing his signature laugh, ruthlessly beat him unconscious with a blunt object. A... |
SaturdayNightLive | megan_thee_stallion_and_heidi_gardner_promise_a_hot_girl_snl | What's up, y'all? It's Megan Thee Stallion, aka the Hot Girl Coach, and I will be the musical guest and host this week on Snl. It's gonna be an awesome show. all we have to do is write it. Wait. the show ain't written yet?
Nope. But it's already Thursday. Yep. we got people working on that, right? Nope.
Hey, y'all, I... |
cracked | should_i_put_my_iq_on_my_resume_w_devon_on_earth_quorators_podcast | yep recording in progress signing okay we have the camera we have the audio running okay great it's in Quarators time and you're back on Quarators it's another week here on cracked home of the fact I'm your host Alex this is Jeremy is the other host we're ready to get some facts on Quora.com that's what the show is as ... |
CrackerMilk | the_meaning_of_life_fucked_fairytales | Hello, my name is God, I'm the sickest frog, I'm the sellest steel log, got all the power in the gnome, universe, I'm in space, I'm underwater, I'm within, my planet earth, what a lovely place, it's way sicker than the rest of space, my son Jesus says you're doing great, you've all become really good mates, so I'm gonn... |
cracked | matthew_perry_s_favorite_role_wasn_t_chandler_ | People are obviously still very shaken by Matthew Perry's death. The beloved friends actor passed away this past weekend. And a lot of people are sharing the fact that he didn't just want to be remembered for that one show. In this interview with Tom Power, he said that he wanted to be remembered for helping others get... |
dropout | seinfeld_gets_auto_tuned_sponsored | I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea.
You gotta have a story. Who says you gotta have a story?
Just talking? Well, what's the show about? It's about Marape. I WAS IN A BALL! It's about Marape. Who wants to have some fun? I still don't know what the idea is. It's about Marape. That's the dumbest thing I ever... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_ft_kenan_thompson_heidi_gardner_and_michael_b_jordan_snl | Facebook announced that it will reinstate former President Donald Trump's account, but this time they'll put guardrails in place to keep him under control, which I think is the same thing they said every time they tried to reopen Jurassic Park. Also, what even are guardrails on Facebook? And can they apply to my Uncle?... |
dropout | dinosaur_office_new_boss_part_3 | Previously on Dinosaur Office! I'm the new CEO and I'm ruining the company to get rich. I'm going to give a PowerPoint presentation to change his mind. I never got the brand muffins I was promised. Dinosaur Office! Roar!
Are you using the proper VGA cable? Yes, Todd. Oh, there it goes.
Mr. Velosi, you're about to sac... |
dropout | How_Border_Patrol_Violates_Your_Civil_Rights | You've just entered another dimension. One where it's legal for you to be stopped, searched, and detained without probable cause or even a warrant. You've just crossed into the border zone. Well, actually, you crossed into it 50 miles ago. Step out of the vehicle, please.
The border zone covers everywhere within 100 m... |
cracked | 4_types_of_bullying_we_are_shockingly_ok_with | Congratulations, everyone. You did it.
Your delta swift and deadly could chop to the neck of bullydom. Through all of the It Gets Better campaigns, the zero tolerance policies in schools, and even the deliciously satisfying videos of bully comeuppance on YouTube, you combined your forces to fight a legitimately danger... |
dropout | I_Feel_Like_Everyone_Hates_Me_An_ICE_Agent | I've just been, like, so sad lately, which I know everybody gets sad, but this has been like a really deep soul-crushing depression, because, I don't know, man, I just feel like everybody hates me all of a sudden. Yes, yes, same. What is that? Right? I mean, I realize there should be some kind of reason for it. I just ... |
TheOnion | Poll_Shows_Majority_Of_Americans_Would_Watch_Something_Called_Love_Trap | A cool guy from middle school is still sporting his fat pair of jinkos, a stunned St. Peter Square crowd hears the Pope getting bitched out by God, and an 8th grader caked in makeup is probably really confident. Put your 3D glasses on now to witness this video rendered in jaw-dropping blue and red. This is The Onion We... |
dropout | adam_ruins_everything_low_fat_foods_are_making_you_fatter | Sorry, but low-fat foods don't help you lose weight, and the only reason you think they do is because of bad science and worse marketing. That's ridiculous. When I eat fat, it goes in my body and becomes fat. And fat is bad. Yeah, that's what everybody thinks, but it's not true.
Oh, hey, an egg timer!
People have bee... |
SaturdayNightLive | cnn_app_snl | These days it's hard not to feel stressed out and overwhelmed. Sure, Trump got indicted, but now everyone says the case against him is weak and that he'll never serve any jail time. as someone whose entire personality is hating Donald Trump, you need more. you need to feel calm and reassured. you need the newest medita... |
dropout | the_roast_of_mario_featuring_patrick_warburton | Actually, Mario's first game was Donkey Kong. It was the story of a big, hairy ape in his battle against Donkey Kong.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but Boo's not scared of you. He just can't stand your ugly Italian face. How about who am I to talk?
Mario, you beat me so often I feel like Toad's dick. Oh, Mario, Mario, ... |
dropout | the_modern_irish_drinking_song | Alright boys, let's see what we think about these yank bars. You think they got Guinness here? We Irish love drinking from court to Belfast. It's an old world tradition, so let's raise a glass. I stopped while of house and asked for a pint. The bartender looked at me and said, What kind? But the beer list was too long,... |
SaturdayNightLive | a_ladies_guide_to_party_planning_saturday_night_live | In this modern age, a lady faces many challenges, none greater than hosting the perfect cocktail party. party planning begins in the morning when your husband tells you you are throwing one. this is great news. before he goes, hand him his briefcase and newspaper. avoid looking at the newspaper as it may give you ideas... |
cracked | cracked_s_guide_to_super_bowl_ads_cracked_responds | What a big game, hey guys? Oh, the largest.
I actually didn't think it was very political compared to years past, really. It just seems pretty standard. Like, there's been pro women ads in the past and people weren't like, ooh, no way.
People said that also about Lady Gaga's performance, and she just sang songs that ... |
cracked | 3_popular_children_s_characters_who_secretly_hate_animals_after_hours | In the Pokemon world, everything is not as strange as your part in the very nature of the game, and Pokemon is actually scared of this. What are we talking about? Video game protagonists that should be tried as work or not. Pokemon! How about... Oh, that's way better.
Now Daniel, you were saying some pretty incendiary... |
dropout | Your_Annoying_Cheap_Friend | And that's why I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
Thanks so much for helping me look for stuff for my apartment. Oh, of course. Yeah, moving across the country is so hard. We are happy to help.
Ooh, what about this lamp? How much? $30? Ooh, then no way.
I can get it for cheaper. Or are you having lik... |
cracked | wes_anderson_s_doesn_t_know_the_first_thing_about_aliens_cinemistakes | What's up you guys, this is your boy Steven Spielberg and the host of the show sin mistakes. We take Hollywood's Today we are skewer in asteroid City a little art film type, you know a woman I worked with that lids Suggested that I go I checked it out and guess what? I'm burning it to the ground A lot of people saying ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | WEEKLY_BULLETIN_Australia_Launches_Injunction_To_Stop_European_Winemakers_From_Using_Passion_Pop_ | Hello and welcome to the Betuda Advocate weekly bulletin, I'm Effie Bateman here today with Wendell Hussey who's had his tiring first week back after his two and a half month stint. How you doing? It's been so draining, Effie Bateman yes, back on the tools for a week, a whole long week after as you mentioned there a co... |
SaturdayNightLive | luvahs_with_katie_holmes_saturday_night_live | Can I interest anyone in some of Lassa's raisin squares? No, thanks. no, thanks. thanks so much, professor. I'm really excited to be your research assistant.
Well, you're going to love this town. the college brings in a lot of entertaining events. last year we saw Marshall Crenshaw in concert. yeah. and they just open... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_ft_james_austin_johnson_and_heidi_gardner_snl | This week, President Biden made a historic visit to Ukraine and met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Volensky, where they greeted each other like two action figures having sex. Then, on the one-year anniversary of the War in Ukraine, both Biden and Volodymyr Putin gave speeches about the conflict. there was a languag... |
dropout | hardly_working_milk | How funny would it be if I just fell asleep right now? Not very.
I told you, hand him over. Alright guys, I've got a meeting with the boss. Wish me luck. Oh, David, you got a little- Ow! Ow! Good luck, man. Thanks.
What the hell was that, man? He had a milk mustache. We should have told him. And embarrass him?
I don... |
dropout | hardly_working_trying_water | So, what did you wind up doing with all those tickets? I don't know, like bribes mostly, you know, cover my tracks.
Uh, I'm gonna grab a water, you want one? Uh, no, I'm okay. Wait, what'd you say you were getting? Water? You mean like, that stuff from the pool? Yes. You drink that stuff? You don't?
I don't know, is ... |
TheOnion | Anonymous_Hero_Donates_Hospital_200_Human_Kidneys | Billionaires like Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are known for their charitable contributions, but not all great givers crave the spotlight. Last night in Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, an anonymous individual gave an unprecedented donation of 200 human kidneys. The secret benefactor delivered his gift a few ... |
cracked | is_house_party_2_better_than_the_original_house_party_danielle_investigates_ | This is literally just because it's one of my favorite movies ever.
House Party Jims. Yeah! House Party Jims.
The pajama jam. A little pajama jammy jam ends at our comedy.
House Party, it's really fun because it's- It's a film by Doug and George. That is true. It's got a young Martin. It's got Queen Latifah.
Mostly... |
cracked | lucky_number_slevin_review_ft_devin_byam_aka_500_days_of_snatch | Welcome to Cracked Movie Club, the show where we do a book club. But for movies, which you like books, but better.
I'm your host, Jordan Breeding, and I'm doing a I'm killing it. And I'm joined by my co-hosts, Jesse and Ally.
Say hello. Hi. Hello.
Killing it similarly, just setting them up, knocking them down. Oh, m... |
SaturdayNightLive | snl_digital_short_convoluted_jerry_snl | Convoluted Jerry, you've heard his music for years and now you can own his greatest hits on one Lp. Introducing Convoluted Jerry, the songs out with hits like Quit Not Bein' My Lover, Quit Not Bein' My Lover, Quit Not Bein' My Gal, Yes, no, yes. it's all the mixed message lyricism you've come to love, and all your favo... |
dropout | sleepovers_when_you_re_gay | Okay, let's talk about boys. Yes. Yes, boys!
Or whatever. Who do you think here has the biggest boobs? Not me. Oh, wait.
Which guy in our grade would you guys make out with? Matt K, of course. Kyle C, Matt C. Ew! Or Matt A. Matt Q, all day, every day.
Remember when she asked whose boobs were the biggest? That was cr... |
SaturdayNightLive | lisa_from_temecula_sports_bar_snl | Oh, and that's gay. my Knicks are killing it this season. Shana, I didn't know you since you were my intern. how did I not know that you were a Knicks fan? are you from New York? Oh, well, I moved here after college, so I adopted the Knicks as my team, but I'm actually from Temecula.
Temecula, I know, that's right. y'... |
dropout | everyday_acting_seeing_an_ex | Everyday Acting, the theater workshop for real life situations. Seeing a girl or boyfriend you haven't seen since the breakup, this is theater. You must never betray the pain and anguish you feel. This is life, not a fucking middle school production of Pippin.
The word great is your ally. Naomi, great to see you. Yeah... |
dropout | reviewing_movies_we_didn_t_see_ch_shorts | Hello, and welcome to Not at the Movies, the show where we discuss the movies we haven't seen but have a lot of opinions about. It's that time of year again, trophy season. And we're here to talk about the top contenders of 2018. First up is the Florida Project, now I haven't seen this film, but it's an overrated piece... |
dropout | dvd_commentary_the_movie | Hey everyone, this is Dan Masters, with me here is Stephen Sinclair. Pleasure to be here. You're watching Commentary of the Movie. Hi Dan, I'm the writer-director and one of the main actors of the film, and I hope you like it. Ah, Cindy was great.
I always loved the gritty cop dramas growing up, but I wanted to avoid ... |
CrackerMilk | funniest_crackermilk_shorts_2023 | Nice shirt dude predictable nice tits excuse me Chicks what's that doing there? Come on? You know the drill you got any firearms on you know I? Know a gun in a butthole when I see one That's not mine, it's your butthole Cough for me look that one's feeding Wow dad it's coming right for us relax kangaroos are herbivores... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_sarah_sherman_debuts_sarah_news_snl | Well guys, we're six shows into the new season. here to discuss a personal gripe with me is our very own Sarah Sherman. Oh God, what did I do now? none of these jokes are about me. it's all midterms. This, trump that, But what about Sarah? we can't do jokes about you, Sarah. but I can and I'm gonna do them all here. Ri... |
dropout | macgruber_game | Hello everybody my name is Streeter and I am Jeff. We are in Austin for the screening of MacGruber so we thought we'd pull people off the street and test them in a variety of games and see how they stack up against the stars of MacGruber.
Now we have a timed puzzle game let's see how these people do. So the idea here ... |
TheOnion | ACLU_Explains_How_Some_Of_Funds_Raised_Will_Defend_Rights_Of_Weirdos_To_Have_Sex_With_Trees | The past six months have been unprecedented at the ACLU. Our membership has quadrupled, and we raised a record-breaking $24 million in one weekend following President Trump's travel ban. Those funds will help us defend civil liberties whenever they come under attack. And a portion of that money will inevitably go towar... |
SaturdayNightLive | penelope_thanksgiving_snl | Hi, everyone. I'm Mary.
I just want to thank you so much for volunteering at St. Angel's Thanksgiving Soup Kitchen. These dinners are so fun. last year, we ate and laughed and partied, and it was so hard that we didn't get out of here until, like, 8.30.
I'm talking P.m. Well, I'm Lisa, and it's my first time doing th... |
dropout | halo_3_homicide_detective | Talk to me. We are dealing with one dead Halo player. Team Slayer. Gamertag. White Fang 68. Oh, that's pretty gay. Team Slayer rank.
19. Oh. He's a rookie. How'd he go?
Battle rifle? Sniper? That's the thing. No bullet wounds. Plasma grenade? Spartan laser? Oh my god. I hate the Spartan laser. It's about as stupid as... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | INTERVIEW_The_Splendour_Files_2023 | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overall, editors of The Batooter Advocate, on Desert Rock FM. Hey guys, and welcome to The Batooter Advocate podcast, Effie Bateman here live at Splendour in the Grass with Wendell Hussey. It's been a sensational weekend full of great music, great food, great booze, which you... |
dropout | outtakes_i_got_no_sleep_last_night | See That's it Should I have said any of my life Oh Know a lot of people don't get full nights sleep sack. They just fucking feel it This is a relaxing boom their text message And I'm like, oh Just kidding now I'm the best at this game No, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Seriously, Zach if you don't shut up, I'm... |
CrackerMilk | every_man_s_dating_profile | What's that?
I'm just not getting any matches on my dating profile.
Okay, let me have a look. Thanks. Okay, you just need some new photos. Oh, okay. Let me take one right now.
Yeah, the lighting's really good here. Smile.
Where did the fish come from? I caught it. Maybe without the fish.
Okay. Yeah. Alright, three... |
dropout | hardly_working_hugh_jackman | Alright, he's on his way up. Now, when he gets up here, be cool. To you, he's Hugh Jackman, but to me, he's just my dad's best friend.
Oh, I wish I broke my arm last week. I'd make him sign my swordfish poster. Why would you break your arm?
Oh my god, he's here! Does this exam your school for the badass? Because your... |
Wizards_with_Guns | meeting_every_version_of_you_from_the_multiverse | So, you're all me from different universes. From the multiverse, yeah.
Oh, thank God, you found him. We need you, Thomas. And you're all...jacked. Most of us, yeah. Well, we're jacked. He's ripped. Thomas, you're the chosen.
No, we got it. We're explaining it. Explaining what?
So I'm the only one who looks like this... |
dropout | cash_ambulance | Bum-Sai-Nai Hospital quick please! You got it, but first, you know what that means. Husky's determined, got the way? Yes, that.
But also, it's time for Cash Ambulance, the world's second mobile game show. Sure, I'll get you to the ER, but all the way I'll ask you general knowledge questions and reward you with $25 for... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Bulletin_14_02_20_Betoota_Weekly_News_Bulletin | Hello and welcome back to the Baturda News Bulletin. It's Friday the 14th of February and we're coming to you from the Budgie Smuggler booth in the heart of Baturda's Old City District. My name is Wendell Hussey and joining me once again is Desert Rock FM Stoll Ward, Bruce Hitchcock. How are you Bruce? Wonderful, thank... |
TheOnion | Hot_Kids_Teachers_Ep_2 | Teachers, Wednesdays at 8 on the Onions Family Channel.
Isn't it cute? That is so sweet. Isn't it funny to be teaching kids and realize that one day they're going to be adults? Like these little miniature men and women just running around the school. It's amazing.
I always look at my students and think, one of you is... |
dropout | the_irrationally_long_number_pi_song_sweet_number_pi | Hi honey Mommy just wanted to hear your voice Hey hon I just want you to know That I love you And I believe in you And I want you to stay in school 838-65-875-3320 838-1420 She's my number pie Please make us help let me off this ride How long do you need us to recite?
Somebody call 911 Take me to the hospital |
SaturdayNightLive | dying_wish_saturday_night_live | We now return to the 1956 closet. Angels in the Trentons.
Captain, are you all right? I'm shot! Oh God, I think I'm dying. Captain, No!
Yes, it's true. I'm not going to make it private. can you deliver a message for me? of course, Sir, anything. Tell my wife I love her. I will tell her on my honor. Tell my son. Yes, ... |
SaturdayNightLive | monologue_jamie_lee_curtis_and_eddie_murphy_are_having_a_baby_snl | Ladies and Gentlemen, Jamie Lee Turner. No, Eddie Murphy and I did a movie together called Trading Places. So when I knew I was going to host Saturday Night Live, I sent Eddie a telegram to sort of ensure that he'd be here. And the telegram said, dear Eddie, I'm pregnant. the baby is yours, and the whole world will kno... |
TheOnion | rep_nelson_proposes_the_gary_nelson_personal_pay_raise_bill | Over the past 15 years, the cost of living in this country has increased 9 percent, while real income has remained almost stagnant, almost the same. Now, I can stand here and quote statistics all day, all the time, but instead I want to tell you a story, a story about a man who lives right here in Washington, D.C., at ... |
cracked | 10_fallout_4_easter_eggs_you_probably_missed_new_guy_weekly | Hi YouTube, this is Alex war never changes the gaming announcement of the year or or at least my year I happen this week the fallout 4 trailer is here This trailer is packed with revelations and I'm just the superfan to point out 10 fallout 4 Easter eggs You probably missed that dog in the trailer is of course dog meat... |
dropout | hardly_working_zombie_bite | Oh dad, I can't believe I have to kill Kevin!
That wasn't your fault. That wasn't Kevin anymore. That was a zombie. We all saw it. Yeah, no part of him was still alive. Look at me. That wasn't your fault.
So, we've been in here about half an hour. You guys want to play Cranium? Yes! Alright you guys, I was able to fi... |
cracked | why_aren_t_we_talking_about_octopuses | Don't let the news fool you. Octopuses are not aliens. Octopuses are from Earth, okay? And calling octopuses aliens actually undersells their freaky awesomeness. Earth has some standard intelligent creature construction rules. And octopuses break all of them. Because they're invertebrates.
They have short life spans. ... |
dropout | cyber_sex_monday | Wow, you guys look busy. Hell yeah, we're busy.
Cyber Monday. Oh, right. There's supposed to be a bunch of great sales today, right? I just, I can't get over like the blatant consumerism. No, you idiot, not Cyber Monday. Cyber Monday.
Oh, no. Cyber Sex Monday. No. Ooh, I want a cyber. Oh, yes. Cyber ASL. Stop it. You... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_stefon_on_summer_s_hottest_tips_snl | Despite recent security worries, millions of tourists are expecting to pour into New York this summer. here with some tips for out-of-towners is our City Correspondent, Stefan. Hi. hi. Stefan, are you okay? I'm good. I've just been up for three days. Okay. now, Stefan, the last time you were here, you ended up recommen... |
cracked | 4_video_game_plots_better_than_most_movies_yboc | Hey there nerds, it's me, your protagonist, Dr. Jordan Breeding, and today I'm attempting the impossible. I'm gonna talk video games and hope that people actually watch, since last time I tried this, it resulted in my worst performing episode, even with the hard drives Jeremy Caplewits. What do you freaking gamers want... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Weekly_News_Bulletin_The_US_Election_The_Melbourne_Cup_Local_News_More_November_6 | Welcome back to the Matuda Advocate Weekly News Bulletin as we wrap up this chaotic week in world news. You thought coronavirus and bushfires had everyone on the edge of their seats. What about this election that's come down to the wire? You're joined by myself, Clancy Overill, editor of the Matuda Advocate and of cour... |
TheOnion | Is_Using_A_Minotaur_To_Gore_Detainees_A_Form_Of_Torture | I'm Juliana McKinnon, filling in for Clifford Bains, who is vacuuming.
This week, the military began closing the controversial labyrinth, which for seven years housed the brutal Minotaur they used to interrogate terrorist suspects. But Congress and the American people are still demanding to know who will be held accou... |
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