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SaturdayNightLive | avatar_sex_gone_wild_snl | Okay, Jake. Nateria's chosen you, which means you will be the first human to ever have intimate contact with a Navi. this will give us invaluable insight into their mating rituals, so you have to remember everything. relax, Doc. I know the drill. do you? Well, you better because this is important. Easy, Spellman. Sorry... |
cracked | 5_things_you_believe_about_voting_that_are_statistically_bs | Hi, I'm crack senior editor Josh Sargent and we're recording this video right in the worst part of the worst election ever if any of You are watching from the future and have access to time travel. Please come save me. I don't want to be here anymore No Yes, I think We're getting any weird feedback in the microphone.
... |
Wizards_with_Guns | megachurch_pastors_try_to_predict_the_apocalypse | The end is nigh! For you, Bill Nye! Your science can't save you now!
Bill!
No, no folks. We don't want to alarm anyone. No need to cause a panic.
But soon you'll be hogtied and spit-roasted at Lucifer's luau while his hellhounds play with their new chew toy. Your children. Now, how do we know the end times hath bepo... |
cracked | 9_murders_to_keep_you_up_at_night_with_my_favorite_murder_the_cracked_podcast | Put your hands together for the Cracked. Can you see me? My name is Jack, I'm the Editor-in-Chief of Cracked. This is Daniel, the head of video at Cracked. And joining us, the hosts of one of my favorite podcasts, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark of My Favorite Murders!
Hi. Hi, everybody. Hey, guys. Welcome, you ... |
cracked | why_did_so_many_90s_kids_cartoons_feature_edgy_adult_comedians | Ah, the early 90s! What a time to be alive! We had the hottest Lisa Frank folders, we were young parents to our digital Tamagotchis, and we spent Saturday mornings watching kids cartoons starring our parents' favorite stand-up comedians.
Wait a minute. What? Miss Dal Dal Dal. Under the microscope. That's right.
With ... |
cracked | why_tarantino_films_take_place_in_the_same_insane_universe_after_hours | It depends on the movie. You need martial arts training for Kill Bill, but in Reservoir Dogs, you just need to be a law-abiding citizen. And steer clear of diamond shops. Is the point of death proof that they're all death proof? Because if so, I picked that one. No. No in all directions. It doesn't matter which movie i... |
cracked | ninja_turtles_take_on_donald_trump_oprah_and_a_musical_extravaganza_canonball | I've never seen such tiny pizzas! This must be how that McDonald crump dude got to be a multi-bazillionaire.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have fond memories of wearing my Michelangelo shirt to school, slurping down four turtle pies worth of puddin' power, tornado kicking off a launch table, and screaming surfer... |
TheOnion | Lawmaker_s_War_Hero_Son_Would_Have_Wanted_Road_Bill_Passed | A number of representatives have voiced their opposition to H.R. 8768, which would appropriate $200 million to my home state of Virginia for a toll road construction project. And as I sat listening to them, I couldn't help but think of the memory of my son, Army Private First Class James Whittle. James was killed in Ir... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | ep_14_dma_s_matt_mason | Right now at Honda, find your kind of value with a low finance rate offer on selected Civic Hatch and sedan models. There's never been a better time to get into a Civic, so talk to your local dealer and let's help you into a Honda today.
T's and C's apply. Ends August 31st. See website for details.
You're listening t... |
cracked | sneak_dirty_jokes_into_movies_like_a_pro_yboc_willy_wonka_cars_beauty_and_the_beast | Hey there nerds, it's me, Love Dr. Jordan Breeding. You're ogling your brain on crack.
After dark. Sorry, I mean. Ooh, after dark.
I know why you're here. You wanna learn how to get filthy. Jokes in the movies. Or, at least you wanna know how other people do it. Or maybe you just want me to undress some filthy movie ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_132_Jimmy_Barnes | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overall, editors of the Batooda Advocate on Desert Rock FM. Welcome back to the Batooda Advocate radio show recording down in downtown Batooda here at the Old City District, Budgie Smuggler Studios. You're joined by myself, Clancy Overall, editor of the Batooda Advocate and o... |
ClickHole | can_we_solve_world_hunger_with_one_big_ass_ear_of_corn | Can we solve world hunger with one big-ass zear of corn? Let's find out. First thing we'd have to do is figure out how to make one big-ass zear of corn. Normally, corn is the size of a rabbit's brain. So how do we make corn very huge in a way that is massive? There's no way to make corn grow super large naturally, so w... |
cracked | the_only_movie_to_ever_earn_its_dramatic_teaser_trailer | Once every few months crack.com locks its entire video team in a different house for five days with a special guest and one goal Make as many stupid sketches as you can. This is one of those no one and I mean no one had seen anything like it before ever until they did Once it took hold there was nothing that could stop... |
TheOnion | Missing_Girl_Probably_Raped | If you're just joining us, we now continue our coverage of the search for Meghan Richter, the 19-year-old Indiana University sophomore who went missing two days ago. We go now to Alan Fisher, live on the Indiana University campus. Alan, are there any new developments in this case? Jean-Anne, I'm afraid not. Police are ... |
cracked | game_of_thrones_is_shipping_the_best_creepiest_couple_ep6_beyond_the_wall_got_review_reaction | Hey everybody, welcome to Winner is Taking Forever, the show where we recap Game of Thrones, the show that you know, at least a little bit. This is the second to last, the penultimate episode of this season. And usually in this series, the second to last episode is where everything happens.
Did anyone else feel like i... |
dropout | csi_scooby_doo | All right, what do we got? Victim was raped, beaten, murdered, then super raped. Jesus H. Mary and Joseph, born in a manger, read the Bible Christ. It's hard to tell under all that blood and semen, but it's definitely Velma. I'd recognize that bull haircut anywhere. It's like a possible two-man job. Better round up Han... |
dropout | prank_war_4_streeter_bombs | Hello.
We're here at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York City, where an open mic comedy festival is about to begin. None of that is correct. It's an open mic comedy show.
It's not a festival. This is a friend of mine, Pete Holmes. It's a big festival. He's the host of the festival tonight. Who wants fried do... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_ft_kenan_thompson_and_bowen_yang_snl | It's weekend update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. I'm Michael Che. I'm Colin Jost.
Well, this was a terrible week for the world, but a great week for random idiots who like to share completely unhinged thoughts wherever they can. And weirdly, it's not even on social media anymore. I saw a thousand-word essay called... |
dropout | Filming_Your_Pregnancy_Announcement | What's this, babe? Open it, Bryce. It's not my birthday. Just open it.
Jesus Christ. Did my son get someone pregnant? Um, no, dumbass. I'm pregnant.
It's like you're old, so it's just like a really great joke. Like, I'm like the young cute mom, and you're like the really, really old dad.
Whatever. Holy shit. We're h... |
SaturdayNightLive | moisturizing_facial_cream_and_rock_a_billy_lady_party_snl | Hello. my name is Jamila Lo Rose-lapurkins. and I'm Lynn Doot. And we know what you're thinking. Wow. those ladies have flawless, milky skin. And they also look like they could rock out and jam to rock music. They make themselves. that's why we're so excited to introduce our revolutionary new facial cream. and our revo... |
dropout | the_kindle_3 | I used to hate reading. I really hate it.
But there's something about this Kindle III that really brings books to life. I never had the patience to read Romeo and Juliet before, but now I can't put it down. Did you know John Luke Wazamo's in this book? The Kindle III really condenses my reading time. I mean, I just re... |
cracked | 1_11_08_news_on_cracked_douchebaggery_pam_anderson_etc | It's Friday, January 11, 2008, and this is the News on Cracked. I'm Lex Friedman, and I've just proven that I know the date, the title of this show, and my own name. I'm very proud.
According to a new survey of teen sexual attitudes, a quote, substantial minority of 15-year-olds has had sexual intercourse. The substan... |
dropout | What_s_So_Funny | Must be a thread I'm not on. Hey, Allie, what's so funny? Oh my god, I'm crying. Hiding. Oh man, this thread makes my day every day. What? My day made every day? At least Grant's out of the loop too. Grant, check the thread. This is very funny, and we're better friends because of it. This is about me.
Everyone's laugh... |
cracked | wonder_woman_has_changed_the_dc_universe_spoilers | Tom and I saw Wonder Woman. We sure did. We have adult jobs.
Yeah, man. In the name of all that is good, your wrath upon this world is over. It's really good. Yeah. DC did it. Yeah, easily. Easily the best DC movie, I'll say, since probably The Dark Knight. Yeah.
Are we counting this? Is that still DC EU? I guess, I ... |
TheOnion | Weird_Area_Woman_Wasn_t_Harassed_Today | Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that oddly at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened. It's weird, but looking back on it, I suddenly realized that not one strange man made a creepy comm... |
programmersarealsohuman | interview_with_senior_js_developer_2024_new | So the CV looks all good and everything, but it all comes down to how fit you are selecting JavaScript libraries. Imagine we had two options, the T3 and the T4 style. Both use Next.js, TypeScript and TRPC, but the TNT3 stands for Theo, a skater boy from California, whereas the TNT4 stands for technology.
T3 is primari... |
SaturdayNightLive | dad_has_a_cookie_snl | Chris, I got to say, seems like my daughter picked a good one. Well, thank you, sir. I love her a lot. it means so much to finally meet her folks. well, us too, you know. now, on how long till dinner, Chris and I are starving.
I'm fine, really. Okay, well, easy, Tiger. the roast is almost done. just ten more minutes. ... |
cracked | the_most_overly_dramatic_break_up_ever | Listen, when we first met, everything about you just seemed meaningful and deep. You know, you just were this vivid person.
And that's great, but it's a lot of high stakes, you know? And I'm just not sure I can deal with it anymore.
What are you saying? See, this is exactly what... Here, here, just... Uh-huh. Yeah, i... |
SaturdayNightLive | ultrasound_snl | Well, how you feeling? uh, you know what they say. the 12th month of pregnancy is always the hardest. Well, okay, we just want to do one last ultrasound to make sure the twins are in the right position. sounds good, Doc. hit me with the cold-ass jelly. Okay, let's, uh, take a look here. mm-hmm.
Oh, there they are! it'... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Side_Hustle_Scotty_A_Dream_Position_An_Olive_Branch_More_August_19 | Hello and welcome to the Petuda Weekly Bulletin. It is great to have your company, as you'll probably notice, it's the voice of me, Wendell Hassey.
Clancy Overall is not leading us in today.
He is recovering. From his hips, yeah. From his hip replacement.
The photos look awful. Scars, bruising, all that sort of stuf... |
SaturdayNightLive | mister_robinson_s_neighborhood_summer_snl | Would you be mine? could you be mine? I always want to live in a house like yours, my friend. maybe when there's nobody home, I'll break in. I married a woman who said she was rich. spent all her money, walked out on a bitch. won't you be mine? won't you be my neighbor? Hello, boys and girls. some is coming soon, you k... |
TheOnion | America_s_Sandiest_Car_America_s_Best_Ep_7 | It's another busy day for America's Best, as the judges look for the sandiest car in the country. What's your name?
Enough with the pleasantries, let's see the sandy car. It's very sandy. I don't think it's that sandy. What I see is a car with a little bit of sand on the seat cushion. Otherwise, this is absolutely not... |
SaturdayNightLive | new_york_underground_saturday_night_live | New York, New York. a city of 8 million people. But where do they go at night? where do they go to unwind? Empire State Building, Times Square. maybe if you're a tourist. But if you're a real New Yorker, where you want to go is. .here. the Lower East Side.
The Kennel Club. This has been the venue for such acts as Rowb... |
dropout | tinder_profile_picture_day | So, this is your first profile picture day?
It's the only one I have. One day you'll be a big boy. I'm 28.
Ah! Oh. Okay. Are you sure you're going to do that? I've seen it a lot. Yeah. I love traveling, so. It's just kind of an old joke. I love jokes. All right. Ah. Is that a gun? Yeah. I'm a boy. Well. Oh.
Stop.
Y... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | WEEKLY_BULLETIN_HR_Manager_Agrees_That_Sucks_But_Have_You_Considered_Shutting_The_Fuck_Up_And_Pr_ | We've had R U OK day. Oh by the way I didn't ask R U OK Clancy. No it's too late now anyway.
I feel funny in answering your question because it happens every day but what happens is I rotate between kind of Joe Rogan-esque meal plans or just full-blown fast food. As an Australian male it's kind of what I do. And I hav... |
ClickHole | need_an_email_address_let_this_woman_give_you_some_incredible_suggestions | Here are some good numbers.
24 115 9 33 86 2 We hope these email addresses have been helpful. Post a comment below and let everyone know what you're going to use your new email for. |
cracked | 7_movie_ideas_too_awesome_to_actually_get_made_after_hours_live_the_cracked_podcast | Sans Michael. Sans Michael, yeah. I will be playing Michael tonight.
How many of you guys are familiar with after hours in the podcast? After hours is a show where four of our finest writer-performers sit in a diner and make amazing points about pop culture that are like suspiciously well thought out. And I am joined ... |
CrackerMilk | post_nut_clarity | Elias! Socks don't go in the dishwasher! What are you doing? I have milked the evil out of my body. It's popped out of me like a champagne cork. I now see the world for what it truly is. You knotted again, didn't you? Yes. Come, brother. Sit beside me and let me enlighten you.
That's gross. Gross is a construct.
The ... |
dropout | superhero_auditions | Face melting, you will never succeed in your villainous plans. I will, I will defeat you.
What are you doing? Oh, oh!
You trapped me in your face, melting rays. My face is melting. It is melting.
Ah, birds! Ooh, come to me. Okay. And reassemble my face with your beaks. I always loved you, and I always will, no matte... |
dropout | 20_000_leagues_from_the_right_answer | From Galaga to Galgadod, nerds are passionate about a lot of things, but there's something they love above all else.
That is correcting people. This is Um, Actually. For joining us today, we have Brennan Lee Mulligan.
And my axe. And Ryan Martin. And his axe. And also Jackie Cation. And their axes.
Oh, what? Three?
... |
cracked | scientology_is_nice | Scientology is not the cult for me And I was so naive to think they wouldn't try to screw me Join, you'll understand, they'll make you feel a man The trouble is, I mean that literally Yes, I really should've guessed From the guy who did the test He wore a velvet leotard With assless chaps and pink mascara Oh, I was a f... |
dropout | are_you_a_millennial_hardly_working | Okay, does everyone have a character card, a weapon card, and an action card?
Yes. Great. Thanks for planning this, Katie. Oh, no problem.
You know how much us millennials love board games. Actually, I hate to out myself, but I'm a little older than you guys. I'm not actually a millennial. So you're Generation X? I'm... |
dropout | what_the_internet_is_like_in_the_future_clip_from_bad_internet_ep_10 | I can hear the sound of 2,000 police chatter, and I felt the sensation of ground beef between my fingers. Hey, hey, hey.
Just ignore that. What's happening? That's cranial. It comes built in with these sense prompts that supposedly ease you into the whole experience, but it kind of just clutters everything up. Are you... |
TheOnion | Tyler_Perry_Expands_His_Fan_Base_With_New_Films_About_Sassy_Chinese_Grandmother | Move over, Medea, there's a new grandmother in town! This year, filmmaker Tyler Perry, known for making hugely popular entertainment that strikes a chord with African-American audiences, will be expanding his franchise to include a series of movies devoted to the Chinese-American experience. Perry has reportedly receiv... |
Wizards_with_Guns | what_happens_if_you_don_t_eat_your_carrots | Kyla, did you put away your Xbox like I asked? Yeah, Dad. Whatever the frick. Kyla! I will not have such off-color language in my household, young man. I told people what to do.
That's probably why Mom left. You know she passed away.
Now, I am sick and tired of your hoodlum attitude. You and your friends always hangi... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_ft_kate_mckinnon_and_ego_nwodim_snl | Well, we're now at the point where at every press conference, the President's asked, will there be a nuclear war? A journalist asked President Biden if we should be worried about nuclear war, and he said, no. because what's he going to say? Hell, yeah, man. start digging a bunker, Jack. it's like when a little kid asks... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | INTERVIEW_Gideon_Haigh | You're listening to Errol Parker and Clancy Overill, editors of The Batooda Advocate on Desert Rock FM. Hello and welcome to The Batooda Advocate podcast. My name is Wendell Hussey. We're beaming out of Desert Rock FM studios today and in the theme of the show, we're talking to someone who's often dubbed as royalty aro... |
dropout | are_we_ready_to_go_yet_hardly_working | Okay, only one hour till the show. Is everyone ready to go?
Yep.
I just got to pee quick and that'll be ready. Oh, as long as we're waiting, I'm going to pop off a quick email. Okay, we're not waiting that long. Okay, let me know when we're actually ready. We're actually ready right now.
Don't get comfortable.
You'... |
Wizards_with_Guns | jordan_peterson_talks_about_wizards_and_skeletons_for_roughly_2_minutes | Allow me to put this into simpler terms. So the Necromancer, he's got a tower, a long tower, primarily constructed of bone. And on one side you've got sorcerers, metallurgists, bone sorcerers, and ghost wizards. And there's a huge difference between shadowmancers and shadow slingers. And people don't like to draw the d... |
TheOnion | BREAKING_Dogs_Running | On Zara, if you've looked outside recently, you've noticed that all dogs everywhere are running. Scientists can't explain why all over the world, dogs of every breed are running non-stop.
I'm joined now by animal behavior expert, Dr. Charles Davenport. Charles, what can you tell us?
All we know for sure is that the d... |
Fitzthistlewits | let_s_play_mario_64 | And it's also a me, Fitz Thistlewitz, the famous YouTube celebrity, doing a let's play of a little known gem called Mario 64, which is, I don't think it's ever been done in a let's play, so... I wonder if cake is a euphemism of some sort. I imagine that would be quite humorous, if that were the case. And peach, that co... |
TheOnion | Aunts_Stepdads_Fight_For_Hot_Gift_The_Electric_Tea_Kettle | Christmas almost here, ants and stepdads across the country are braving the crowds to get their hands on the must-have gift for 2008, the Presto Electric Tea Kettle. After appearing at the top of Good Housekeeping's 2008 list of top 10 gifts for young people you barely know, the teapot has been nearly impossible to fin... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Daily_News_Bulletin_Tuesday_31st_March | Hello and welcome back to another daily news bulletin from the Petuda Advocate, Australia's oldest and most honest regional newspaper. As is the norm now, this news wrap is coming to you from the budgie smuggler bedroom in my humble off the plan project home on the edge of our town. Here are the top stories for today. ... |
SaturdayNightLive | flynt_and_clinton_cold_open_saturday_night_live | Mr. President, your three o'clock appointment is here. Okay, Betty, send a man. Larry, Flint, you old dog. how are you? Mr. President, it's an honor to be here. I actually never thought I'd be invited to the White House. Well, I asked you up here to say thank you. As you know, I've been going through extremely difficul... |
cracked | the_most_unorthodox_host_in_snl_history_canonball | The early days of SNL were like a primordial ooze of variety show entertainment staples from which a prestige sketch show would eventually evolve. There was stand-up, live music, video intermissions, fucking Muppets, even Hans and Franz changed a few minds once in a while, and don't forget about the bees. It was all be... |
dropout | gorilla_jury | Yo, hello everyone, welcome to the College Humor podcast. I am your host for today, Teo Yang.
Ooh. Spicy.
Can we say it? If you're watching on CH2 or watching on your podcast app, if you get onto dropout.tv and subscribe, you can get these episodes earlier by how long? Some amount of time.
Lord knows. It's a mystery... |
ClickHole | ex_poachers_talk_about_how_solving_a_crime_with_a_rhino_made_them_reconsider_their_job | My name is Rick, and I used to make a living poaching rhinos for their horns. When I was poaching, I was thinking about the money, the thrill of it. I'm ashamed to say that I was never, ever thinking about the amazing detective work I could do with a rhino if the two of us teamed up to solve a crime. This is a rhino I ... |
SaturdayNightLive | garrett_from_hinge_wedding_snl | When I'm with you, Brian, the past melts away. But before I met you, I had to kiss a lot of frogs.
And by that, I mean I used all the apps. But seriously, some of those guys on those dating apps are the worst.
But when I met you six years ago, I knew I had found the one. I love you so much. Beautiful vows, Jill.
Now... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Weekly_News_Bulletin_The_Latest_From_Victoria_The_Crisis_In_Canberra_The_Trans_Tasman_Bubble_ | You're listening to the Batutah Advocates weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5. Welcome back to the weekly Batutah bulleted and a special shout out this week to our mate Jim Treloar pushing sheep down there in the cold semi-arid country of South Australia. Keep up the good work Jim and keep up the moustache. Your fa... |
dropout | who_would_you_be_on_game_of_thrones_with_james_corden | Hello, good evening and welcome to Who Would You Be, the game show where we ask the toughest question of all, which is of course, who would you be? Tonight, we're talking Game of Thrones! Okay, first up, Murph, I've got a question for you. Who would you be on King's Landing? Oh, um... Tuffy. Yeah, uh, I think I'd be Ty... |
cracked | five_stages_of_streaming_feat_onlyleigh | That's it! We're going streaming! Yay! This is so much better! Volumes!
Very true! Nothing like catching an ice flake from the comfort of my home. So, what are we watching? Uh... Focus! It's hard!
Oh my god, this is freaking impossible! Are half of these even real? Progress is awful. I hate choices. That's actually g... |
Wizards_with_Guns | a_surefire_way_to_win_poker_every_time_guaranteed_no_promises | Alright Chief, I'm at the winner's table. Now how do I win?
Well the guy to your left is Wesley Stope. He owes every shark in the city. So make sure he's confident, you're confident. Butch McGraw is a stone cold killer. But if you bet big, he'll fold like a napkin. But the real threat to watch out for...
Read him and... |
dropout | if_your_search_history_was_made_public_clip_from_bad_internet_ep_3 | Hello America. Do not adjust your television sets.
The coalition for transparency has taken over this broadcast. Too long people have hidden their truths. The world needs transparency now more than ever.
Two hours from now your world will change. Two hours from now we will reveal your search histories. Wow, well I gu... |
dropout | tinder_profile_picture_day_2 | So you've had your profile picture taken before, right? Oh yes sir, I know the drill. Good, because the last time I was here no one would just let me take a normal photograph of them. Everyone loves a puppy, please go out with me. God damn it.
You make a great bridesmaid, but you'd never actually wear this to a date, ... |
dropout | The_Final_Battle_of_the_Ultramechatron_Team | Good morning planet, pre-work workout session. Let's get physical. Gym rats, we'll be executed.
I'm sorry, does something not feel right? There's like an energy that's not flowing right around here somewhere, is it? It's kind of like getting a vibe from over here. I think it's here, right? This is it.
She's a monster... |
dropout | stop_living_in_a_sad_girl_house | So I invited him over to my house and it was really the first time that I'd seen it through somebody else's eyes. There were bras on every piece of furniture. I'd never seen bras look so unsexy. She had a pile of laundry she said was going to go out for dry cleaning, but she never took it to get it cleaned.
And hats? ... |
dropout | The_5_True_Horrors_of_Halloween | At last, the spookiest time of year is upon us. A night of horrors and haunts awaits you. Not because of ghouls or goblins, but because of these five spine-chilling frights. These are the five true horrors of Halloween.
Set up the most terrifying surprise when Halloween falls on a weekday. You picked the perfect costu... |
dropout | if_people_treated_personal_deaths_like_celebrity_deaths | So it's like not quite a boat, but it's not quite a car. Yeah, that's because that's a plane.
Oh shoot, my mom died.
Weird. Oh man, that is so random. Isn't that strange?
I grew up with my mom. It's so weird to think of. She was like the face of the 90s for me. It was like Jim Carrey, my mom, and Sonic the Hedgehog.... |
cracked | prejudice_people_watching_season_2_episode_6 | Holy shit, Earth was a mistake.
Online dating?
I'm Groucho Marx at this point. I refuse to date anyone who would want to go out with me. But they're entitled to an attractive woman. You are a war criminal.
Maybe 1% of the messages I get acknowledge that I even wrote anything in my profile. I'm basically just the fuc... |
cracked | people_keep_confusing_fred_durst_with_robert_durst | Apparently, people keep confusing Robert Durst and Fred Durst. As a reminder, Fred Durst is the rap rock pioneer behind Limp Bizkit. Robert Durst is the now dead serial killer. Now, it might have something to do with the fact that the Jinx is back with Part 2. This is the true crime documentary about Robert.
Remember ... |
dropout | the_disturbing_history_of_the_suburbs_adam_ruins_everything | It's not so white here, look! Bad example? Ignore sweater dog people. A tote bag full of kale. You're killing me, lady!
Okay, maybe this neighborhood is mostly to, completely to, insufferably white. But that's just the way things are here. It doesn't mean we're racist. I'm sure you're not, Ron. But the fact that so ma... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_tiktok_fights_texas_ban_chipotle_hiring_for_burrito_season_snl | The Dallas zoo has been dealing with the disappearance of several animals, including a leopard, monkeys, and a vulture. in an unrelated story, check out my amazing coat. Laughter Officials at Tiktok are trying to stop efforts in Congress to ban the app by launching a campaign called Project Texas because Tiktok is thei... |
dropout | stop_asking_women_to_talk_about_being_women | Yeah, it's nice to see you again, Jelly. And you as well, Tommy.
I can't wait to answer questions about the whimsical world of chocolatiering. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, hi, Scott Bagel, Daily Report. Tommy, question for you, what would you say is the most zany, craziest part of being a chocolatier? I'd have to say i... |
dropout | The_Don_t_Laugh_Newsroom_Challenge_5 | Pack your tiny sunglasses, slide them down your nose, and say, I don't think so, mister. This camp has all the biting jibes and structured activities a brassy babe could ever want. From West Hollywood, California, the only news team that doesn't know what's on the teleprompter before they read it. Anyone who laughs or ... |
cracked | sonic_the_hedgehog_2_review_ft_carolyn_page_aka_gotta_go_gay | I'll do a bunch. Hello everyone, welcome to Cracked Movie Club, the show where we do a book club, but for movies which are like books but better, and I'm thankful that I had that first part memorized because I didn't even have my notes pulled up. I'm your host, Jordan Breeding, and I'm joined by my co-host, Jesse, and ... |
CrackerMilk | keeping_up_with_the_schwarzeneggers | I'm actually good friends with Arnie, you guys know Arnie of course, he's a predator and terminator group like I know his daughter, Barnold Bortenegger Barnold Bortenegger is a fantastic friend I know it's me Barnold Oh my god it's Arnold Yes I'm beer I'm like my father, but everything I say start with B Someone has ta... |
TheOnion | Romney_Santorum_Supporters_To_Beat_Living_Shit_Out_Of_Each_Other_At_Montana_Primary | All right, we're continuing our round-the-clock coverage here on the front lines of election 2012. Jason Copeland is with us. He's going to walk us through the delegate election process in Montana, the only state where party members slug it out in a bare-chested brawl to determine who gets their votes. Right, Jason? Ab... |
dropout | every_teen_movie_ending | Jake, I thought you had a bus to catch. Sure I can catch one tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or next month. Jake!
Jake and Ashley were married that spring. She immediately realized it was a mistake and began a decades-long affair, finally divorcing Jake and claiming sole custody of their child. Jake never saw... |
SaturdayNightLive | john_mulaney_stand_up_monologue_snl | Ladies and gentlemen, John Mulaney! thank you. thank you very much. it is amazing to be here hosting Saturday Night Live for the fifth time. I thank you. for many, many reasons, I'm grateful to be here tonight. after a very complicated year, it is wonderful to be in a place that's always emphasized sobriety and mental ... |
SaturdayNightLive | big_penis_therapy_snl | Sorry, Robin, but draw four. Oh, man! ha ha ha! sucks to be you! Oh, babe, you're gloating. Oh, you're right. you're right. sorry to get so competitive, guys. it's fine, Glenn. no, it's not fine. it's something I've been working on in therapy. You go to therapy? that's, like, really surprising. Seriously, talk about a ... |
TheOnion | u_s_shocked_andorra_not_in_africa | The State Department is on the defense in the wake of the emerging controversy over Andorra, which received over $3 billion in U.S. aid money last year. That funding has now been cut off following the revelation this week that Andorra is not a war-torn African region, as previously believed, but in fact is a very wealt... |
dropout | the_murder_twins_superheroes_who_take_it_too_far | See you Murder twins, thank you for coming. We came as soon as we saw the murder beacon What baddies should we take down today commish? That's what I wanted to talk to you about murder twins There's been a string of mysterious killings evil or keneval at his brake lines cut traces of cyanide found in the four course me... |
TheOnion | EDGE_How_The_Israeli_Occupation_Has_Made_It_Impossible_For_Palestinians_To_Score_Drugs | Man, Barcelona to the ground! Spiky as fuck.
Today on Edge, the humanitarian crisis in Palestine, horrifying and somehow getting worse. It's hard for us to imagine what life is like in Israeli occupied territories, your whole world under the complete control of a hostile neighboring state. So we sent Nick Moss to the ... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Weekly_News_Bulletin_Advice_from_Scotty_Roiting_Racism_05_06_20 | With me in the studio, Clancy Overall. It still feels weird to be back in the office. It's a great day to be a Queenslander, a long weekend at our feet and the most beautiful part of the world to explore. Which is where Wendell Hussey has been this week, if you've been listening to the Daily News Bulletin, you would ha... |
cracked | 5_shady_tactics_reality_shows_use_to_trick_you_the_spit_take | Hello the internet and welcome to another episode of the spit take my name is Jack O'Brien I'm the editor-in-chief of cracked and unless you time-traveled here from the 90s you probably realized that reality shows aren't actually Realistic like some sort of David Attenborough nature special about people with personalit... |
cracked | why_dating_website_employees_are_terrible_matchmakers_rom_com | So, pretty bad date, huh? We haven't even ordered drinks yet. You didn't even give him a chance.
I completely did. Lots of one. Josie says you're just starting Breaking Bad. Yeah. Yes, I am. Huh?
Good show. I like it. Me too. It's really good.
Sounds like a real disaster. Oh, I would have welcomed a disaster. At lea... |
ClickHole | can_t_go_on_reddit_at_work_this_man_checks_it_out_for_you | Hey there, let's see what's on reddit.com today. Lots of great new links on the front page. So the first news story up here is about Russia giving missiles to Syria, and that's probably a really interesting article and it's good to keep up with what's going on in the world. So let's check out the comments. The top post... |
TheOnion | NRA_Fights_Legislation_That_Would_Ban_Gun_Sales_To_Those_Currently_On_Killing_Sprees | Vice President Biden's Committee on Gun Violence has recommended to Congress that they ban the sale of guns to anyone currently on a shooting spree. The ban, which would make it more difficult for individuals in the process of shooting other individuals to purchase additional assault rifles, was met with fierce opposit... |
wearethesundayblues | hippo_predicts_breaking_bad_finale | Hey man, what you watching? Breaking Bad. Dude, that is the best show ever. How awesome is that scene with Walt and Hank in the garage, and Hank closes the garage door. And then he punches Walt.
And then Hank is all, I don't even know who I'm talking to. And then Walt's like, well, if that's the case, then my best sug... |
dropout | the_same_love_story_old_people_vs_young_people | Have I ever told you the story about how I met your grandfather? He was a charmer. I was at the park one day when this man walked up that I'd never met and said, I've been staring at you for the last hour. You're all I can think about. Oh, my heart was a flutter. This guy was just staring at me, then he walks up and es... |
dropout | if_google_was_a_guy | Butthole. Gross fat butthole dick poof.
Is that what kids are into these days? Are your parents home? Miss Pippi. You mean Mississippi? Hey, I'm not a dictionary. My grandson Nathan. Song that goes. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
Girls college. College girls. Nud... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Daily_News_Bulletin_Thursday_2nd_April | Starting off with national news today, and the federal government has announced a huge stimulus package for the floundering influencer industry. Speaking this morning, the prime minister said he's acutely aware of the effect isolation has had on the nation's influencers and their ability to publish bikini-clad photos p... |
dropout | americans_eat_japanese_toys_for_the_first_time | Alright, let's do this, yo. I'm excited about this. This is gonna be tight!
Oh, no. I'm from Oklahoma. We don't need stuff like this there.
What even is this? You know what? I've actually seen one of these before.
Uh, I don't want to be rude, but this doesn't look edible. See, but I'm really afraid of trying new thi... |
SaturdayNightLive | snl_digital_short_roy_rules_saturday_night_live | Did you know there's over a billion people in the world? there's over a million in New York alone.
But the only one I'm into is my brother-in-law, Roy! Roy Rules! He's married to my sister. he wakes up in the morning, watches Dora with my niece, and then backs on bananas. Roy Rules! He works out in the morning. he run... |
TheOnion | NHL_Woos_Fans_By_Increasing_Scoring_With_Bigger_Nets_3_Point_Line | Earlier today, the NHL announced it will be implementing several rule modifications aimed at increasing scoring and attracting more fans. Starting next season, NHL games will feature larger nets, full-body tackling, and a pre-game coin toss to decide who kicks off. Is this enough to bring the fans back to the game?
Gr... |
dropout | if_people_acted_like_they_do_on_dating_apps_hardly_working | Hi. What is it? What's with the winking? Okay, I don't get this.
Hey, have a good weekend? Oh yeah, it was great. How about you? Did you have a good weekend?
Did I do something wrong? You're gone? What happened?
So then we went ice skating, which was so much fun. For everybody besides me, I fell and kneaded ten stit... |
cracked | sneaky_ways_companies_fuel_subscription_addiction_cracked_explains | And unfortunately, the litany of subscription services today are simply standing ready to collect their bones. Recurring deliveries of products has been a well-known retail model for centuries. From old books of the 1600s to the humble milkman leaving a cool bottle of cow sauce at your doorstep, customers have come to ... |
cracked | the_most_clever_foreshadowing_in_movies | Eleven. Foreshadowing. Scenes. Hidden. Movies.
Keep drinking. I'll have a Bloody Mary firstly. Uh, uh, Mary, I'm, I'm warning you. Have a bite of the King's head. Couple of the little princess. Sorry, what are you doing? Stagger back him. Back at the bar for shards. How's that for a slice of fried corn?
No. You ever ... |
TheOnion | Hurricane_Ashley_Expected_To_Strike_Several_Bars_This_Cinco_De_Mayo | Images of destruction are flooding in and the worst isn't over. Experts warn that Hurricane Ashley could strike as many as eight bars throughout the day. Her Cinco de Mayo plans, combined with all the recent drama with Scott, have created perfect conditions for Hurricane Ashley to cause a lot of damage this afternoon a... |
SaturdayNightLive | the_understudy_snl | Hey, guys. I'm Chloe Feynman. it's been a really unique season, and people are always asking, what happens when a cast member has to miss a show because they're sick? Well, that's where I come in. I am the show's official understudy. So, every week, I run lines with all the cast members just in case they need to jump i... |
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