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|---|---|---|
Wizards_with_Guns | why_we_shouldn_t_save_the_bees_at_least_not_these_ones_ | Hey. Hey asshole.
Ah. What? You're an idiot. That was rude. How'd you get in? You gonna answer your phone you fucking idiot? Whoa.
Okay this is my house so you can't talk to me like that. I'm gonna hurt you. Okay. That's uncalled for. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna sting you.
Don't. Okay you're gonna regret it because e... |
dropout | rapper_who_is_very_concerned_with_password_security | You know what they say, more money, more passwords To protect that money from hackers Cause there's more of them too More money, more potential problems But more passwords, no hackers Yeah, MC safe search Online, I'm shopping and I'm feeling fine But I gotta use some passwords to keep what's mine Passwords and codes th... |
cracked | does_john_wick_owe_his_success_as_an_assassin_to_being_a_great_guy_cracked_debate | Whoever comes, whoever it is, I'll kill them. I'll kill them all.
Jesus. Fine. I'll cancel Bring Your Dog to Work Day.
No, no, no. Just doing my favorite John Wick quotes. Oh, man, I love John Wick.
I know. He's such a freakin' great friend. I know.
I was gonna say Badass Murder Machine. Oh. Well, I definitely want... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | INTERVIEW_NSW_Premier_Chris_Minns | Welcome to the Batutah Advocate radio show.
You're joined by myself, Clancy Overall, and Wendell Hussey, the Eternal Cadet. Nearly 10 years as a cadet. Yeah, you keep dangling that carrot, Clancy. It always just seems to be just around the corner.
I've asked my old man, who's obviously close personal friends of you, ... |
CrackerMilk | our_favourite_videos_of_2022 | Right. It has come to my attention that kilos of heroin have gone missing from the evidence locker. Now I don't know which one of you it was, but I intend to get to the bottom of it. Chief, I saw Officer Nick handling evidence for hours in the locker. Is that true? Yes, but that's because I work in evidence.
It's clea... |
dropout | we_know_you_re_on_the_toilet_ch_shorts | Hey baby, Big Daddy Raffi here. I want to take a minute to talk to you, the viewer. I know your secret, the one you don't want nobody to know about. You see, Big Daddy Raffi knows that if you watch this video, you are doing so on the toilet. Don't worry that I called you out, just relax and enjoy the ride, baby. That's... |
dropout | but_seriously_pokemon_go_to_the_polls | In the circus of politics, we've had countless opportunities to make stupid jokes. But now, the time for laughter is over.
This is an important and historic election. The stakes have never been higher. So please, Pokemon Go to the polls. Many months ago, Hillary Clinton said this. I don't know who created Pokemon Go, ... |
dropout | Confusing_Headset_Phone_Call | to the College Humor podcast. If you're watching this on Dropout, we love you. We love you so much. And if you're watching this on our CH2 YouTube channel, you can catch us on Dropout like earlier.
Two weeks earlier. Two whole weeks earlier.
Maybe you could catch up before we even make the podcast episode. Just heari... |
dropout | My_Partner_Is_Using_Me_For_Love | Oh, Grant's classic Get Real shirt. Looks like somebody's got a date tonight. Oh, I don't know, not really. Whoo! Come on, man, you can't fool me. I know your date shirt when I see it. Who is it?
It's this girl I've been seeing, but I feel like she just used me for sex. Oh, I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm datin... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_rich_auntie_with_no_kids_on_relaxing_during_the_holidays_snl | A survey, a survey by the American Psychiatric Association, finds that nearly a third of Americans are more stressed out this year than last holiday season. here to comment is: Rich Aunty with no kids. Yeah, I'll be some criminal to be stressing. Well, I'm glad you're feeling so good, but for a lot of people, the holid... |
dropout | the_girl_who_hates_drama_hot_date | Oh my god! Actually kill me? My ex Brad is here. What? Why does drama follow me? I am so sorry. Is he looking at me?
No. Not even like a little bit. No. What about now? He's still not looking. It's like good? Yeah.
Because it would be like so bad if he saw me. Like I like really don't want him to see me. It's just li... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_233_Bloody_Brilliant_Beers | It is a marvelous spring day, spring carnival is rolling. My name is Wendell Hussey, Errol Parker's with me. How are you Errol?
You know, I've been better. You've been better?
It's like that sometimes. Yeah, nah. I've got a fine layer of dust on me but I didn't have any lung lollies so I'm actually feeling pretty goo... |
PhilomenaCunkOn | cunk_s_best_one_interview_experts_part_2 | So what's this painting? So this is Alessandro Bocelli's The Birth of Venus. It's one of the great paintings of the Renaissance. So do we know if The Birth of Venus actually looked like this? Well, it's depicting a sort of mythical figure, so it's sort of metaphorical. So it's the idea of a goddess who is coming into b... |
TheOnion | Zoologists_Thrilled_After_Successfully_Getting_Pair_Of_Bengal_Tigers_To_69_In_Captivity | It's back-to-school season, which means it's back-to-school week here at The Topical. But as the coronavirus pandemic rages on, this school year may be unlike anything we've ever experienced. Hear why many of the nation's angsty teens are calling their return to the classroom quote, whatever.
And later, we take a look... |
cracked | 4_reasons_to_stop_freaking_out_about_the_nsa | National Security Agency whistleblower Edward Snowden claims to be able to wiretap anyone from you to the president with just a personal email address. You or your accountant, to a federal judge, to even the president if I had a personal email. The Guardian reports that the NSA is collecting quote, nearly everything a ... |
dropout | your_friend_who_never_learns_partying_sucks | Rekha, what's up with eating ass? What do you mean? I mean, everyone keeps talking about eating ass. Why? Uh, I think they just think it's funny. Hey, Stephanie, what's up? Oh, my God, are you okay? No.
I drank too much last night. I went to a wedding, and I didn't eat beforehand, and everybody kept handing me shots. ... |
dropout | guy_buys_condoms | Listen, uh, before we go back to my place, I need to pick up some... protection, unless do you want to maybe? It's a little embarrassing. No. Ah, cool. Yeah, totally. I was just kidding. Haha. Clean up aisle four, someone straight up puked. Okay, I can do this. Just be cool. No problem. Hey, uh, excuse me, magazines, c... |
TheOnion | Super_Hurricane_Said_to_Be_Even_More_Powerful_Than_Bogdan_World_s_Strongest_Man | Tropical Typhoon Dennis continues to ravage the East Coast, flooding roadways and leaving millions without power. Residents in states already hit by the storm say it may even be as strong as Bogdan. We got slammed pretty hard. Hurricane ripped the trees out of the ground like it was Bogdan or something. I had to abando... |
cracked | true_wwii_stories_ice_cream_farts_bazookas_w_the_modern_rogue | Hey there, nerds. It's me, Dr. Jordan Breeding. Many people refer to me as probably the best and most famous doctor in all of history. But today, we're going to talk about a different kind of doctor, a cocking arched, if you will. I broke a curtain thing.
You were talking about poop. Hitler's poop doctor. We're going ... |
SaturdayNightLive | liza_minnelli_tries_to_turn_off_a_lamp_snl | Sugar, Babe, it's the opening night of Cats and the curtain goes up in 15 minutes. we got a scoot, Liza. Oh, sure, I'd be delighted. just let me turn off some of these lamps. And now, Liza Minnelli tries to turn off a lamp. just let me truck him all over here. Oh, I see it. he's the scoundrel. he's the troublemaker rig... |
dropout | what_going_back_to_the_90s_would_actually_be_like | Troll dolls, I remember those. Super Nintendo! Oh, peen peen, oh my God! I wish I could go back to the 90s. Your wish is to bow! Trashmell! And some pog! And a 56K Moto! That's right, my dude. We've time traveled back to the 90s. And you know what that means! Gah!
We only have a few years to stop 9-11. What? That's ri... |
cracked | curse_of_the_duck_hunt_dog | I'm driving home from work the other day, and I accidentally cut off this asian dude. And then he pulls up next to me, and it turns out it's not just any asian dude, it's Shigeru Miyamoto. I'm sorry, Shigeru Miyamoto what now? Yeah, Shigeru Miyamoto, president of Nintendo. Okay. You have made a very big mistake. Shiger... |
TheOnion | Tough_Season_Fantasy_Draft_Preparation_Season_1_Ep_1_Brought_to_you_by_Lenovo | Hoo boy, Matt Forte, you just aren't giving me the numbers I need. I gotta do something here. I'm sorry, coach. Matt, look. Your strong sense of teamwork makes you an ideal player for any football team. Thanks, coach. But this isn't football. This is fantasy football. And what I need is a bunch of guys padding their st... |
dropout | game_of_thrones_gremlins_and_ganondorf | Joining us today, we have Allie Beardsley. What's up? Ify Waddiway. Hey, Howdy. Howdy, indeed, and Becca Scott. Good day.
I have here a stack of statements. These are false statements about the franchises that are nearest and dearest to your hearts. It's up to you to find the thing that is wrong with it and correct me... |
cracked | 5_racist_and_sexist_messages_hidden_in_forrest_gump_after_hours | Think about 2001. It was Jay-Z that's Nas that. Everyone forgot about Dre. It's the one thing that we cannot forget about that year. I still take the original chronic any day of the week. 2001 just sounds like Dre doing an Eminem karaoke. All of his verses were written by someone else, but with Snoop, it was seamless. ... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_designing_the_perfect_avatar | I'm your host, Jeff Rubin, and this week, I'm here with John Gavers and from College Humor, my co-host, Pat Cassels and Dan Gerwitsch. You know, all the major consoles now come with a system that let you make a character. So today, we're going to go through all three, try to make some versions of us and just compare an... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Betoota_Weekly_News_Bulletin_27_3_20 | You're listening to the Batutah Advocate's weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5. Welcome back to the Batutah Advocate News Bulletin on what we hope is your first Friday since entering isolation. If you work in essential services, and the definition of that continually changes each day, you would be still on the job,... |
dropout | bleep_bloop_grease | Welcome to Bleep Loop. I'm Jeff here with Pat and Brian and Nick from Brides Haddock. This week we are playing Grease the Video Game. It'd be great if the people who made this game didn't respect the movie Grease and story was in quotation marks. A real Street Fighter 2 selection of characters here. A lot of them sound... |
cracked | what_we_think_the_next_star_wars_is_about | Tom. Yes. Carmen.
The new Star Wars trailer is out. This is for The Last Jedi. This is episode eight. That's a confusing one. Is this the last one? This is the last trailer for The Last Jedi. It's not the last one.
They're never going to stop making Star Wars movies. No. So it should be called The Never Ending Jedi.
... |
dropout | Dirty_Laundry_Trailer | Which one of you has drank breast milk as an adult? That baby's getting some, and I want to try it. Move over. I can't.
I have a stack of secrets about our guests. Which one of you broke into an abandoned hospital, has had three sugar daddies, accidentally dropped, and killed a baby duck, performed oral sex for the fi... |
dropout | the_half_boner_pill | Do you suffer from feelings of inadequacy? Embarrassment.
Do you have an erection that works totally fine, but a flaccid penis that looks like a hairy little acorn? Ask your doctor about Chubbed, the medicine proven to turn growers into showers. Experience the thrill of a good hang all day long. Chubbed works by provi... |
cracked | bill_murray_a_history_of_being_terrible | Bill Murray has settled for $100,000 due to his sexual misconduct. Unfortunately, this is not an isolated incident because Bill Murray has a history of being terrible. Gina Davis recently opened up about how uncomfortable she was on a 1990 appearance on the Arsenio Hall show with Murray. She actually tells the story du... |
dropout | Please_Grade_Me | And that is the last of my enemies taken care of. Time to start a new list. Hey Vic! I'm here for my yearly review. Yeah Jess, please take a seat.
These reviews are really informal. I don't even like to think of them as reviews. Oh no, no, please, I mean review away.
I am looking forward to it. You know, I kind of th... |
dropout | hardly_working_gale_beggy | Hi, you are the new director of technology. Gail Beggie. Yes. How are you? Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Amir. Oh, great to meet you Peter. I work at CHTV on the other side of the office who make the videos and stuff for the site. Oh, that's great Peter. Great.
Yeah, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go but it was nice, it was ni... |
cracked | if_michael_bay_directed_heartwarming_documentaries_action_movie_parody | And, uh, yeah, you'd hope the photos of you hiking with your dad are gonna be good memories. Uh, not always.
Is that the mountain? This one? Yeah. Yep. That's the one. That's the one that killed him.
It wasn't even a rough climb. You know, you hiked all the time. The time I was 13 or so, in the backyard of our house,... |
cracked | the_honest_history_of_misogyny_in_journalism_history_honestly | Oh, no, Marmaduke died. Well, he was an 80-year-old Great Dane.
Oh, hello there. Today's lesson is about the intrepid journalist who pioneered the expose. What the hell, Clacko? This is, it's not a Denny's. What? You've never seen a gear-diner before? Come on, true detective. Drop trout and show me that hog.
Okay, we... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | A_Wicked_Solution_Albo_s_Adventures_Mum_Vs_The_Kardashian_s_More_June_10 | Hello and welcome to your weekly Battuta News Bulletin, a wrap up of all of the biggest stories that have broken out of the channel country this week. I am Wendell Hussey, you will notice that the voice is not that of Clancy Overills, Clancy and Errol are meeting Bob Catter regarding some regional journalism grants, I ... |
dropout | my_super_not_chill_ghost_roommate_ep_1 | are you ticklish let's find out what was that no it's not nothing was no this again yeah come back don't investigate it was just a cat oh my god I love cats one time I can't eat pizza isn't that silly why'd you do that works every time I know it works every time asking you why you do it every time and crush my skull tr... |
TheOnion | The_Internship_Poised_To_Be_Biggest_Comedy_Of_2005 | The Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson comedy The Internship opens this weekend and Hollywood insiders say it's already poised to be one of the biggest hits of 2005. In the film, Vaughn and Wilson play middle-aged salesmen whose careers are damaged by the changing digital landscape and decide to apply for internships at the ... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_harvey_weinstein_and_r_kelly_s_prison_sentences_nba_slam_dunk_contest_snl | The publisher, Roald Dahl's books announced that they're altering some of his insensitive language like the words Fat and Ugly, as well as modernizing his portrayal of women, which will mostly affect Dahl's beloved children's classic, the Fat Ugly Wife who knew her place. it was announced that Brittany Griner has signe... |
dropout | ace_and_jocelyn_part_5 | Hey space cadets and girls. It's 6 30 in the morning, which means it's time for another episode of hold the hold the camera Like it's a San Joseline a San Joseline from space and Jocelyn astronaut accountants, and they're coming to your face If you live that shit say nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, na... |
SaturdayNightLive | whitney_houston_and_bobby_brown_saturday_night_live | Is it? Tina, I think someone's at the update door. it's probably poor people wanting money again. Oh, hey, Jimmy. it's Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Hi. hi, Tina. What brings you two here?
After our interview with Diane Swoyer, I haven't been able to sleep. Yeah, and I haven't been able to stop sweating. So I said,... |
TheOnion | miami_marlins_deploy_airborne_drones_to_seek_young_fans_shoot_t_shirts_at_them | That's clearly not the Stanley Cup. You're holding a mug. A mug is still a cup, and you can name any cup Stanley.
I name you dunce. Put down a mug and take off your face. It's time for the Face Off.
Alright, the Heat coaching staff is worried about Chris Bosh, who is healing well from his abdominal strain, but has be... |
SaturdayNightLive | get_off_the_shed_birthday_party_snl | Oh, Frank, Gail, or Brandon and Michael coming? yeah, I called them. I just don't know where they went to. Oh, no, wait. there they are, on top of the tool shed, honey. hey, Brandon? Michael? wanna do me and Mom a favor and get off that shed? come on, guys. need you to be a buddy and get off the Shed. what do you say? ... |
TheOnion | Steve_Jobs_Resigns_After_Realizing_Technology_Has_Gone_As_Far_As_It_Can | Steve Jobs resigns as Apple's CEO after realizing that technology has gone as far as it can. Incoming CEO Tim Cook unveils his vision for the future of the company, saying, quote, I'm thinking printers. And the voice inside this Libyan rebel's head is saying, oh, fuck, now what? And now a week in review that marginally... |
Wizards_with_Guns | we_force_anne_hathaway_to_swallow_a_bug_wizards_watch | You guys can't see him, but he got so mad. You guys, you guys. Enough. Are you okay? Call 911. Hey guys, welcome to another Wizards Watch. Today we're going to watch Ella Enchanted by Anne Hathaway, suggested by Leah Rice. Before we start, please like the video. It really helps us out. Let's begin. Oh. Mitch, dude, you... |
cracked | the_invention_of_last_names_stuff_that_must_have_happened | I hear by call this emergency council meeting to order may the Lord bless all our enterprise what's this about John is plowing to be done yet what I know I didn't call the bloody meeting he's talking to me John we're both named John I am John that is council leader and you are John that I don't give a done and Stephen ... |
cracked | the_darkest_episode_of_an_80_s_sitcom_ever_cracked_responds_to_small_wonder | Bridgette, Cody, how familiar are you with the 1980s hit, Small Wonder? I know enough about it that it wasn't a hit, but it's like a little robot girl. Yeah, a tiny robot. That's exactly right, yes. This is a show about a normal nuclear family, except one of the kids in the family was a robot that the dad had built at ... |
dropout | Livin_Mask_Free_Music_Video | Well you know I love my country, and it brings me pain to see All my fellow countrymen, succumbin' to disease So I ask the family doctor if there's something I can do She only asks that I wear a mask, so I smile and say Fuck you! Fuck you, I don't care what your signs say I'm a freedom lover, member of the USA I'll kil... |
SaturdayNightLive | taco_town_snl | Now that's what I call taco. Well, it's not a Taco Town taco until we roll it up in a blueberry pancake, dip it in batter, and deep fry it until it's golden brown. then we serve it all in a commemorative tote bag filled with spicy vegetarian chili. it's sifting great taste all rolled into one. Taco Town! The new Pizza ... |
cracked | why_wizards_make_terrible_co_workers_cracked_classic | Cracked asked two of its employees and they've been soaring to write film and edit a sketch on their lunch break. This is that I'm sorry. There's just no longer a position for you here And before you say anything I want you to know this has nothing to do with the fact that we recently hire a wizard Okay, I just I Find ... |
cracked | sneaky_ways_christmas_movies_are_capitalist_propaganda_yboc_series_finale | It's just it's so frustrating. This is supposed to be your brain on crack 69th episode Nice and it's Christmas and yet after almost three years I'm still missing the perfect centerpiece prop that'll allow me to create a real quality Christmas special You know for the fans and also for my Christmas bonus. I Have an idea... |
dropout | hardly_working_passive_assholes | Sure, if you want to step on toes and definitely not ankles, then I'm only sitting here. Have a seat. I'm already sitting here.
I was talking to him, but yes, you're right. Sam, I think I know why we called you in here today.
You guys are mad because I didn't invite you to my taco party. Yeah, no, yeah, but no, we're... |
cracked | the_2004_christmas_movie_that_had_two_versions_one_straight_one_gay | 2004 straight to DVD Christmas movies, a very cool Christmas, and too cool for Christmas have the exact same story. A teenage girl wants to go skiing with her friends on Christmas instead of spending time with her family. But one version had a same-sex couple as her parents, and the other version had a straight couple.... |
cracked | sorest_loser_in_the_history_of_fantasy_football | There he is! You're alive after all!
What? No. What?
Wanna go eat lunch? I'm gonna eat lunch. Nothing's wrong.
Did we just break time? Eight and two. Ten? Eighty-two? Twenty-eight. Your record is eight and two.
You're leading our fantasy league. You! The guy who tried to draft a little brother from the blind side. ... |
TheOnion | Season_1_Matt_Forte_Alfred_Morris_and_Antonio_Brown_Get_Nicknames_Brought_to_you_by_Lenovo | Alfred Morris, Matt Forte, Antonio Brown, you're all doing great, but I want to draw attention to this important fact. Every football player plays better with a cool nickname, so I, Brad Blevins, worked really hard and came up with some awesome nicknames for each of you. Sounds good, coach. Matt Forte, you looked real ... |
cracked | dispatches_from_goddamn_space_episode_3_celebrating_a_birthday_at_the_gates_of_death | No, turn the knob. Abram, I have a master's in engineering. What's your fucking point? Point.
Hello, Silverton Elementary School. Hello, Earth. It's good to be talking to all of you again. Now we understand there's a birthday down there today, and we'd just like to say happy birthday on behalf of the entire flight cre... |
SaturdayNightLive | quinta_brunson_supports_sarah_sherman_for_her_first_snl_promo | Hi, I'm Quinta Brunson and I will be hosting Snl this week with Lil Yachty and this is Sarah's first promo. You okay, sir? yeah, sorry. I've never done this before. Hi, I'm Quinta Brunson and I will be hosting it. See, that's my line.
Oh, it's all right. you're gonna be okay. She's gonna be okay, right?
Yes, we do. W... |
dropout | trustworthy_reviews_from_500_assh_les | Finish her. Finish her!
God dammit. I shall not be defeated. Do you guys want to get something to eat? Oh yeah, let's get around here. I don't know. Oh, I'll check that app everyone uses to find restaurants. You know, 500 assholes. And normally I just ignore the opinion that any one asshole posts online, but if it's 5... |
dropout | moviepass_ceo_please_don_t_cancel | Hey man, are you okay? MoviePass. We're here to shoot the PSA, but we can go back another time if you need... We're here for the MoviePass CBA. Call me sleeping on the floor a little bit. You know you're pulling along hours, you care about a company, as the CEOs do.
My house is fine. I have my house. I have my house s... |
CrackerMilk | crackermilk_videos_that_get_me_through_the_day | And then I said, where's my sandwich?
HAHAHAHA You're such a Joey. And you're such a Chandler. HAHAHAHA You're such a Ross. HAHA I'm not Ross. Mate, you're Ross. I'm not Ross.
Skateboard huh? I used to skate back in the day. I was pretty gnarly too. HAHAHAHA And you're actually so good at skateboarding. You think I'm... |
dropout | roommate_confessions_the_hypocrite | My roommate is my best friend, but he's also a huge hypocrite. He loves telling girls how healthy he eats. No pork, no beef, no butter, just tons of vitamins and working out. But guess what? He doesn't do any of those things. He never pays for food, and when he does, he only buys a frozen pizza and eats the whole thing... |
cracked | worst_police_sketch_artist_ever | Good afternoon. Hi.
So we're gonna do our best to try and find the person that did this to you, Mr. Crandall. Oh my god, you know who did it? Oh no, no, no, that's, I'm Mr. Crandall, that's my name. No offense, sir, but I've got a lot of police sketches to draw today and I'm more interested in catching the criminals t... |
dropout | This_Missing_Person_Is_Too_Embarrassing | Is there any word about Katie? I'm afraid she's still missing. Where is she? We do have more information now though, and we'd like you two to update her friends and family for their search efforts.
Yeah, we'll do anything. Of course. Great.
We have a photo of what she was wearing the last time she was seen. Oh! Okay.... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Scotty_s_Getaway_Sagas_Labor_s_Election_Campaign_Vaccine_Scepticism_More_September_10 | You're listening to the Batutah Advocate's Weekly News Wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5. Welcome back to the Batutah Advocate Weekly Bulletin. You're joined today as usual by myself Clancy Overell, editor of the Batutah Advocate. Errol Park, editor-at-large is also here, how are you Errol?
Good mate, I've just gotten off t... |
dropout | housemates_of_horror | This is the horrifying story of seven killers, madmen, and deviant freaks. To live, or in some cases function as a cybernetic being inside an organic living skin cover together in a house. To find out what happens when people stop being polite. As if anyone here was ever polite to me. And enter into a new age. Oh and t... |
dropout | camp_harry_and_madge | All right, all right, everybody settle down. Calm down, everybody sit down. Marcus, tone it down, man. Come on, jeez.
You're louder than my wife when she's upstairs cheating on me. All right, well, you guys have been good all week long. So, I hired some special people to perform for you today. Boys and girls, put your... |
cracked | the_biggest_problem_with_high_school_according_to_movies | Guys, that's what we're doing. Good boy, man.
Stop with this. Hey, sit down. That's not cool. You know what's cool? Crafting polynomial functions. Sit down. Hey, miss, we need to stand up.
You're here to find your bag. You choose your bag?
What are you talking about? Wait, wait, wait. What is the meaning of this?
O... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Ep_148_The_Rubens | We've been interviewing a lot of different people as the year kind of begins. We had Father John Owen from Wayside Chapel, Tana Douglas, the world's first female roadie. So this isn't actually that much of a change of pace from King's. What do you think about it? I mean everyone that we've interviewed in the last few w... |
TheOnion | Deer_Deer_Are_Fine_Horrifying_Planet_Ep_8 | The deer, a completely typical and mediocre animal found all over the world. Whether wandering into a yard or drinking from some stream or something, deer are fine. As far as animals go, deer seem to meet all the requirements.
They eat plants. They exist in groups sometimes. They have faces.
If one were to need to th... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | WEEKLY_BULLETIN_The_Stanley_Cup_Generation_Will_Never_Understand_Going_To_School_With_A_Cordial_ | Back end of January. How's everyone going? Pretty good. Yeah. Enjoying it. Some kind of other job opportunities with the resignation of Scott Morrison this week. Just concerned about whether there'll be enough workload moving forward, so just kind of keeping that in the back of my mind, seeing if there's anything else ... |
dropout | how_to_tie_a_tie_a_beginner_s_guide | Welcome. You've clicked on this video because you don't know how to tie a tie and WikiHow has too many words in it. You're either a 13 year old boy on the way to his bar mitzvah or a 20 something man child who frankly should know better. Probably the latter. You disgust me. Let's get started. Begin by popping the colla... |
dropout | inside_fdr_s_oval_office_in_360 | What in the... Move it, Eleanor.
Calm down. Good Lord, calm down, all right? Now remember, there's nothing to fear, but fear itself.
That's great. That's... I feel better already. Very reassuring. Thank you, sir.
You're, like, amazing. Eleanor, dear, I'm cold. Oh, I'll take you to the fireplace, my dear. Anything fo... |
dropout | what_happens_when_you_become_an_aunt | McCartney and Lennon are the Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas of their generation. I couldn't agree more.
Guys, my sister-in-law just had her baby. Oh, congratulations.
I guess that means you're an ant now. Oh, yeah, I guess it does. I'm an ant. That's weird. I don't feel like it.
What's happening? She's... She's becom... |
SaturdayNightLive | weekend_update_lsu_s_angel_reese_on_her_white_house_invitation_snl | There was controversy this week when Lsu Women's basketball star Angel Reese refused an invitation to the White House to celebrate her team's national championship, but now she has decided to go. So here the comment is: Angel Reese. the Louisiana Stand-up. Well, Angel, you had quite a week. Yeah, I got people big, man.... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | INTERVIEW_Willie_Mason_And_Justin_Horo_with_the_2024_NRL_season_predictions_updates_and_gossip | Welcome back to what I hope is now an annual episode of the Betoota Talks. We've done it before with these boys and we're doing it again. We've got Willie Mason and Justin Horro in the house. Thank you for joining us, guys.
It took us a while to get it going, isn't it? Three or four weeks. It's been brewing for a minu... |
cracked | the_best_super_power_is_not_what_you_think_after_hours | I can't believe you guys didn't buy anything. Why didn't you go?
Movie trailers, booth babes, free food. Just sitting out. If you wait by the food area long enough and someone doesn't finish their food.
I wasn't aware that they actually sold comic books anymore. Philistines. You changed. So where's the convention? Th... |
TheBetootaAdvocate | Scotty_s_New_Solution_Heartbreaking_News_For_Jenny_Biden_Faces_Backlash_More_April_30 | You're listening to the Batooter Advocate's weekly news wrap on Desert Rock FM 96.5. Welcome back to the weekly Batooter Advocate bulletin you're joined by the usual suspects in the shape of myself Clancy Overall editor of the Batooter Advocate Errol Parker editor at large hello Errol how are you? Good Clancy how you b... |
TheOnion | New_Erectile_Dysfunction_Startup_Sends_Ripped_Virile_Man_Directly_To_Your_Door_To_Bang_Your_Spouse | Chaos and pandemonium at the presidential inauguration yesterday. Hear how crisis was narrowly averted, thanks to the heroic secret service agent who dove in front of the strong breeze that could have killed President Biden. From the Onion & Onion Public Radio, I'm Leslie Price, and this is The Topical. The world is an... |
SaturdayNightLive | chef_show_snl | Two chefs, one cuisine, one winner, Chef Showdown. Chefs, It's been an emotional week here at Chef Showdown. we visited the oldest Black church in Georgia, where we learned about the origins of soul food in preparation for a soul food challenge.
What was that experience like for you both? Amazing, I felt connected to ... |
dropout | College_Essay_Tips_For_School_Shooting_Survivors | Raphael here, and I'd like to say congratulations to America's high school class of 2020. You're on the precipice of your college career. But before you get there, you're going to have to write an admissions essay. Here's five tips to guide you. You've chosen a universal, relatable topic for people of today. Great, but... |
dropout | paul_rudd_and_michael_pena_guess_who_s_57 | Welcome to Who's 57, the game show where people try and guess Who's 57. My contestants today are Paul Rudd and Michael Pena from the new movie Ant-Man in theaters July 17th.
Guys, thanks for being here. Thank you. No problem.
This is a real game show we made up. It's not scripted. We're really going to play it right ... |
cracked | breaking_bad_recap_from_100_years_ago_geek_week | Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's that time, once again, time for the TV Internet Radio Hour, the only radio serial that's neither. Tonight's episode, Breaking Bad.
Sponsored by Dutch Nick Holland's Cura di Tonic. Available in unflavored or whore hound. I never knew anyone to recover so rapidly from a serious... |
dropout | all_nighter_09_red_shirts | How is that not impressive? I mean, I guess... Yeah, that's fine.
Oh my god! Stop measuring your pubic hair! Someone's tripped the alarm! Whoa! We have an alarm? Shut up! You have to do something! Fine.
I'll go. But I can't do it alone. I need a team. Frankly, whoever comes with me now won't make it back here for the... |
TheOnion | Putin_Learns_Putin_Behind_Plot_To_Assassinate_Putin | Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan begins attacking Mitt Romney's record as Massachusetts governor. A man thanks God he's not sexually attracted to children, and Popeye's home is boiglerized. Week in and week out, you come back like a housebroken Pomeranian, loyal to the bitter end. Good boy. This is The Onion Week ... |
SaturdayNightLive | why_d_you_say_it_snl | It's the game show. Everyone's talking about it. Why'd you say it with your host Danny? welcome to why'd you say it? Tonight's contestants are Danny. hey there Tyler, what's up World and Annie? Hi, Danny. Not sure what this game is, but I'm excited to play. Well, the game is easy. we show you a comment you left on Inst... |
cracked | overlooked_deaths_of_2016_part_1 | but we just went for a swim in it, and we ended up almost killing each other. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. That's hysteria.
Enough, I get the point. Yes, Mr. Drew. This man has no dick. No! You want one piece of life! This whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a ho... |
dropout | ch_live_nyc_chris_gethard | I'm very excited to be here, not just because I have such great respect for all my friends at College Humor, but because I have what at least I view on my end as a very strange relationship with College Humor users of the website. I've put videos up all over the internet trying to get my stuff out, and I've had not to ... |
SaturdayNightLive | please_don_t_destroy_ai_snl | Disclaimer,: due to a hard drive malfunction, some of Emma Stone's footage from this week's please Don't Destroy video was corrupted. but using advanced Ai technology, we were able to seamlessly replace any lost shots of her. Now, please enjoy. hey, guys. Emma. Hey. what's up? how's it going? we are such big fans. Than... |
dropout | hardly_working_speed_3_blabbermouth | Alright guys, we're all gonna take turns punching each other in the face as hard as we can last person to believe gets to kill The eagle we have in the conference.
Yeah Guys listen I just got back from an evil scientist and you put a bomb inside of my heart and another bomb inside of my brain and The thing is it'll go... |
SaturdayNightLive | janet_reno_s_dance_party_with_donna_shalala_snl | And now, from the home of the Attorney General of the United States, it's time for Janet Rito's Dance Party. Hi, I'm Janet Rito, coming to you live from my basement. Welcome to Janet Rito's Dance Party.
I really like dancing to that one. I want to dance to that one again.
Here's my towel. Bucky, thank you. Oh, Bucky'... |
cracked | a_millennial_killed_a_piece_of_our_childhood_at_wwe_s_wrestlemania | Hey everyone, welcome to crack response WrestleMania edition. I am Adam Ganser. I'm Katie Willard. I'm Christian Ramirez. So a five-hour WrestleMania How was that for you guys? It's great.
I might have just forgotten all of it Like I might have watched it and then like blanked out on like how much time it was It's jus... |
dropout | superman_s_villains_take_over_shark_tank_with_daymond_john | The supervillains are back in an all new season of Legion of Doom where hopeful contestants from across the world come with one goal to secure investment in their schemes to kill Superman. Welcome to the Legion.
I am be gone. My army of bank robbing bees and I are abuzz with hatred for Superman. So you have an army of... |
ClickHole | how_to_draw_a_perfect_hand_turkey | Hey guys, Mike here. Today I'll be showing you how to draw a festive hand turkey just in time for Thanksgiving. Now when drawing a hand turkey, the first thing you want to do is take a few easy measurements. Plant your hand down on a stable surface and spread your fingers evenly, like so. Measure the length of each of ... |
TheOnion | Nation_s_Mothers_Describe_How_Nice_It_Would_Be_If_You_Lived_Closer | I love hearing all about what you're up to. I just wish I could give you a big hug every single day. But you're an adult now, with your own life. Sure, I love when you come home for the holidays or for a weekend here and there. But how fun would it be to see each other all the time? It would just be so nice if you live... |
SaturdayNightLive | school_hypnotist_snl | Okay, settle down. Everyone eyes up here. thank you!
Alrighty, as promised, since our class sold the most cookie dough in the school fundraiser, we've earned a very special event. Joining us today is the magnificent professional stage hypnotist. Mr. Fantasmic. Hey there kiddos, how we feeling? that's what I like to he... |
SaturdayNightLive | kate_and_ali_saturday_night_live | You eat these biscuits before they get cold. I've slaved over them all day and you haven't eaten the one. Hey, hey, don't tell me what to do. if you put another biscuit in my face, I'm gonna knock you upside your head. I am so the greatest of all time. Well, that kind of talk will get you nowhere, mister. it's pure sha... |
wearethesundayblues | braaiday_rebecca_black_friday_parody_derick_watts_the_sunday_blues | 7am waking up in the morning, get into my car, gotta go to the spa, gotta get wood, fire lighters and booze, gotta get meat cause time is ticking, on and on and on, everybody shopping, gotta get down to the meat aisle, gotta choose my meat, I see my friend, chicken on the top shelf, furry on the bottom shelf, gotta mak... |
TheOnion | Health_Experts_Determine_College_Social_Distancing_Guidelines_Still_No_Match_For_The_Jasonator | With universities in session and the college football season about to enter into full swing, there are new concerns surrounding COVID-19 on campuses across the country. Are social distancing guidelines doing enough to slow down the spread of the Jasonator?
And later, we're less than two weeks away from the presidentia... |
TheOnion | Teen_Boys_Losing_Virginity_Earlier_And_Earlier_Report_Teen_Boys | A new study shows that teenage boys are having sex even earlier than parents previously thought. In a survey, nearly 100 percent of boys ages 12 to 15 report that they have sex all the time and are definitely not virgins. Teens say they've gone all the way on numerous occasions, including vaginal sex, oral sex, and reg... |
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