id large_string | author large_string | title large_string | selftext large_string | score int64 | log_score float64 | num_comments int64 | created_at timestamp[us] | num_tokens int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
12vjuva | incredibleinkpen | Neglect. | It's a topic I've always ignored. | 7 | 1.94591 | 0 | 2023-04-22T21:24:23 | 12 |
16qtqz2 | Gil-Gandel | While my Tinder date was freshening up, I sneaked a peek in her wardrobe. | She had a French maid's costume, a nurse's outfit and a policewoman's uniform.
Naturally I noped out of there straight away, I mean, she clearly can't hold onto a job for long. | 1 | 0 | 13 | 2023-09-24T09:51:48 | 63 |
zrmb4t | Pabst_Malone | Yo mama so broke | The only thing she can pay is attention. | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2022-12-21T13:36:16 | 13 |
s34we9 | Delicious-Rub-7070 | So I got a new job as a postman. | Bad thing is I'm quite embarrassed by it so I told all my friends I'm a mail escort. | 11 | 2.397895 | 1 | 2022-01-13T17:37:50 | 32 |
tne8a4 | alltime75 | Eating dogs is frowned upon…. | …not just for medical and ethical reasons, but because the meat is also a little ruff. | 8 | 2.079442 | 4 | 2022-03-25T04:41:59 | 27 |
1bvsdhe | barronelli | Chuck Norris can parallel park a train. | We’ve been here before. Let’s do it. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-04-04T16:58:52 | 19 |
1avk7ve | Town-Hoarse278 | I told a joke on a Teams meeting at work today. Nobody laughed. | Turns out I'm not even remotely funny.
| 678 | 6.519147 | 40 | 2024-02-20T15:23:53 | 28 |
17xpy61 | kielayetc | Stewardess: “Would you like some headphones?” | Passenger: “Sure, but how did you know my name is Phones?” | 3 | 1.098612 | 0 | 2023-11-17T21:43:27 | 26 |
yznx14 | TheFrederalGovt | How do you roast a cobbler? | You make fun of their shoes | 7 | 1.94591 | 3 | 2022-11-19T22:27:22 | 15 |
1f0hv93 | Richardhrobinson | I am an atheist, and my next door neighbor was continuing going on about how could God allow her daughter to cease functioning. | I guess I shouldn't have said, I guess he was just too busy making sure the Kansas City Chiefs won the super bowl. | 1 | 0 | 11 | 2024-08-24T22:50:48 | 51 |
15fpj7j | Eastern-Medium | Five people have been found guilty of conspiracy to supply millions of pounds worth of counterfeit Viagra. | The judge described them as hardened criminals | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-08-01T21:32:53 | 25 |
10by98j | joelman0 | I finally bought an induction stove ... | And now I realize that, logically, that's the only kind of stove there is. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-01-14T20:19:24 | 25 |
11vaffo | SixteenBeatsAOne | Classic woman meets a man . . . | A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds ... | 258 | 5.55296 | 21 | 2023-03-19T03:47:32 | 401 |
v0dcws | specious_foofaraw | Why didn't Noah do any fishing while he was on the ark? | He only had two worms. | 10 | 2.302585 | 1 | 2022-05-29T15:19:22 | 20 |
14inbpx | original_don_dada | Why were there ducks in the back of a police car? | They were caught with quack! | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2023-06-25T14:14:11 | 19 |
17sqv3f | thenonoriginalname | My husband has been very romantic lately.. | .. but I don't understand why he always signs his poems with "regenerate answer". | 64 | 4.158883 | 7 | 2023-11-11T09:19:37 | 26 |
17475xt | RichMarkleyDotCom | People say God made a mistake when He created the platypus. | I don’t know about that. A better example of a mistake would be creating jellyfish, but no peanut butter fish | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2023-10-10T00:03:25 | 38 |
12533kb | NationYell | What award goes to the eunuch who creates law and order among all the other eunuchs? | The no ball peace prize. | 4 | 1.386294 | 0 | 2023-03-28T21:32:21 | 27 |
uvsqcm | JoyIkl | A KGB agent meets a friend | "How are you doing?" the KGB agent asks
"I'm fine, I'm working as a teacher. How about you?"
"I'm a KGB agent"
"Oh, what is it that you do?"
"I arrest those who are dissatisfied with the current regime"
"There are those that are satisfied with the current regime?" the friend asks in shock
"Yeah, but they are the... | 27 | 3.295837 | 0 | 2022-05-23T05:05:14 | 94 |
173wla4 | unclehogde | I'm offended | Google keeps on use the word query. Rude | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-10-09T16:47:08 | 13 |
1h79ri6 | ___HeyGFY___ | Even though it was raining last night I decided to walk my dog anyway. | He ended up in a poodle. | 7 | 1.94591 | 5 | 2024-12-05T13:58:32 | 23 |
1g3ym0b | dadwearingplaid | I’m getting tired of smoking marijuana. | Guess I’m suffering from Chronic fatigue. | 81 | 4.394449 | 15 | 2024-10-15T03:27:55 | 16 |
107bshm | Perfect_Ad5659 | My in depth research says that 73% people are good at maths | The rest 37% are dumbasses though | 28 | 3.332205 | 15 | 2023-01-09T11:07:30 | 25 |
17r8yci | tbonesteakbigone | I couldn't believe my dad had been stealing from his job as a road worker, | but when I got home, all the signs were there. | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2023-11-09T09:04:54 | 29 |
13c9j6e | Gheist009 | What breed does the secret scientist prefer? | Black Lab, of course! | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-05-09T00:09:23 | 14 |
16lt0ic | Major_Independence82 | I had a friend whose job was circumcising elephants. | The pay was lousy but the tips were huge. | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2023-09-18T11:32:19 | 23 |
wbisej | wissam-najih | A CEO of a company called his secretary (his married mistress) and told her that he wants to go on a trip with her this weekend so they can have some fun | and that she can tell her husband it’s a work trip, so she agreed.
She called her husband and told him that she has a work trip so she won’t spend this weekend with him, he understood.
her husband called his mistress and told her that his wife is out this weekend so she should come because they will be all alone in t... | 348 | 5.852202 | 30 | 2022-07-29T23:25:02 | 223 |
1f9bctm | Hayabusacarry | History altercation | My friend went back in time accidentally stopped the apple from falling onto Isaac Newton’s head. so many future discoveries inventions and gadgets are lost now but i guess nobody would have know the “gravity” of the situation | 7 | 1.94591 | 1 | 2024-09-05T02:13:55 | 46 |
uh5ap2 | Pleasant_Skeleton10 | A man is talking to a woman and he asks for a fun fact about her. she tells him "I am missing all my toes". the man says, "I'm sorry but I can't date you". The woman asks why and the man responds: | I am lactose intolerant. | 15 | 2.70805 | 4 | 2022-05-03T01:46:35 | 59 |
ycq5qq | HydeSpectre | A girl asked her boyfriend "Babe, would you leave me if I was unattractive?" | The boyfriend replies "I'm still here, aren't I?" | 88 | 4.477337 | 4 | 2022-10-24T23:40:16 | 33 |
tlsuii | Toxic_Gerbil951 | An American, a Russian, and an Irishman are all stuck at sea | They eventually end up on an island, and the three decide to split up and meet back at the beach at sunset. When they meet back up, the American returned with 4 fish, the Russian found what he needed to build an open fire, and the Irishman found a mysteriously sealed bottle. With each man getting their one fish, the Am... | 66 | 4.189655 | 5 | 2022-03-24T01:42:14 | 439 |
vn4bos | tofumac | What do you say when 2 fans of Bono tell you they love you? | I love you too you two U 2 fans. | 37 | 3.610918 | 3 | 2022-06-29T02:14:56 | 28 |
wzu5ez | NopeNopeNope2020 | since we live in Birmingham, I thought it would be a good idea to learn how to play home sweet Alabama on my guitar and play it for my sister. | She wasn't impressed, but our kids loved it! | 11 | 2.397895 | 4 | 2022-08-28T12:20:04 | 43 |
x4anuj | cum-piss-shit-cum | A rich businessman goes into a seafood restaurant | He orders an octopus. After thirty minutes of waiting the waiter brings im a lobster.
The businesman says "I ordered an octopus, not a lobster". The waiter apologizes and takes the lobster dish back.
After another thirty minutes he comes bsck with a fillet of swordfish. The businessman gets angrier and complains abou... | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2022-09-02T19:47:47 | 511 |
190tq1n | hoosyourdaddyo | Why did the young Russian man jump out a third story window head first? | He didn't want to be mobilized. | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2024-01-07T14:49:31 | 24 |
x68dg5 | EndersGame_Reviewer | Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started! | A man walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!"
"Before what gets started?"
"Never mind, just give me a whisky, quick!"
It sounds urgent, so the barman gives him a drink.
The customer downs it in one gulp and says, "Another, quick, before it gets started!"
The barma... | 440 | 6.086775 | 17 | 2022-09-05T05:51:00 | 135 |
uq6dpr | incredibleinkpen | I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works. | My victims still scream. | 25 | 3.218876 | 4 | 2022-05-15T13:41:18 | 22 |
u71g5e | ALEX_THE_LION__ | I live with a basket case | It's quite helpful when you have a basket you don't want to break. | 3 | 1.098612 | 1 | 2022-04-19T09:56:56 | 22 |
wnc4yq | coffeemonstermonster | An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar | An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first mathematician orders a beer
The second orders half a beer
"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies
"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2
"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."
"Oh c'mon" says mathema... | 15,413 | 9.642967 | 512 | 2022-08-13T11:17:16 | 491 |
swj3y6 | SirFartalot007 | Do you know what they say about people with big feet? | Well that they need big shoes of course. | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2022-02-19T20:27:56 | 21 |
1fz93k3 | CarlosDoesTheWorld | I recently got laid off from my job. | My job was to sit through 45 minute calls, then at the end say “Nothing here, guys!” | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-10-08T20:01:20 | 32 |
17ldrwe | arztnur | Does your dick touch your ass? | A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" The little boy answered no. Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."
A little... | 80 | 4.382027 | 4 | 2023-11-01T14:47:25 | 215 |
10ianal | itzjackybro | I once heard that a gang in LA would trade their members for extra drugs. | The people who got traded? They went from crip to currency. | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2023-01-22T04:11:02 | 30 |
rbljaw | Longjumping_Tutor_25 | Why didn’t anyone offer the comedian a seat in the bus? | Because he was a standup comedian. | 4 | 1.386294 | 3 | 2021-12-08T07:16:33 | 21 |
1hafezj | Coralthesequel | A lady meets Sean Connery... | There's a lady sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office, waiting for them to call her in. When at one point, she sees none other than Sean Connery walking out of the office. And whatever the doctor said to him, there's this huge beaming smile on his face as he approaches the exit.
So right before he leaves, t... | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-12-09T17:41:46 | 171 |
1f0ajc1 | relayrider | I know Karate | and six other Japanese words | 4 | 1.386294 | 13 | 2024-08-24T17:20:25 | 9 |
1gc5k5s | TheThalmorEmbassy | Health officials in Texas raided the home of 60 year old sisters and found over 100 cats. | The cats are named Bootsy, Lola, Tippy, Cornelia, Fluffy, Minerva, Ringo, Jasper, Charlie, Spanky, Snooks, Doodle, Wally Happy-pants, Zeke, Veronica, Dolly, Clyde, Ajax, Rusty, Puff-ball, Snuffy, Sylvia, Mr. Moody, Leonardo, Zeke, Tawana, Evinrude, Nimrod, Sylvester, Skee-ball, Toots, Jupiter, Lady Agatha, Murgatroyd, ... | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2024-10-25T21:42:43 | 147 |
1f72zd0 | StockInitial4460 | Bank cash reserves seem to be low. I went to four different bank ATM's to withdraw cash | and all of them said there was insufficient funds. | 87 | 4.465908 | 2 | 2024-09-02T09:58:53 | 30 |
18xa72z | srsnuggs | What did the cheating wife say to her husband who caught her in the act? | “I don’t know what came over me!” | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-01-03T04:17:50 | 26 |
ymd54r | nandemo | I've heard that U2 has never paid legal any legal fees | Their lawyers all work pro-Bono. | 172 | 5.147494 | 28 | 2022-11-04T22:59:01 | 21 |
sh16b6 | Mr_MyMumsAVirgin | How is virginity like a soap bubble? | One prick and it’s gone. | 9 | 2.197225 | 0 | 2022-01-31T13:24:23 | 16 |
172bsoa | lostsoul2016 | An old lady yells at her husband who is downstairs... | ...*why don't you come up stairs and make love to me*.
Husband: *okay but I can't do both* | 12 | 2.484907 | 2 | 2023-10-07T17:27:58 | 40 |
1h2jpwx | MarcoDanielRebelo | The old man is lying in the hospital bed. Feeling that these may be the last moments of his life, he says to his wife: | I always felt that our seventh child was different from the others. Tell me the truth, does he have a different father?"
Wife: "Yes..."
Husband: "Who's the father?"
Wife: "You are." | 1,247 | 7.128496 | 52 | 2024-11-29T11:23:03 | 75 |
165roqq | MBNLA | What do you get when you cross a rat with a slice of pie? | A rodent that can sail the 7 seas!
Rrrrr! | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2023-08-30T21:42:41 | 30 |
1fnsj9h | Mask_of_creator | If tomb is pronounced 'toom' and womb is pronounced 'woom'... | Should a bomb be pronounced 'boom'? | 24 | 3.178054 | 17 | 2024-09-23T19:05:50 | 25 |
1burt99 | dulyebr | Why couldn’t the lumberjack solve the math problem? | He kept getting stumped. | 45 | 3.806662 | 11 | 2024-04-03T12:51:27 | 18 |
12oiy8w | BrazenlyGeek | How do you motivate a police dog? | You remind him that snitches get bitches. | 11 | 2.397895 | 6 | 2023-04-16T17:56:36 | 18 |
1e36k1r | HALLOWEENYmeany | Someone at work was making a distasteful joke about trumps head today. They were to far away for me to hear the whole joke. | It was just out of ear shot | 79 | 4.369448 | 22 | 2024-07-14T16:32:49 | 36 |
vj2pvk | _iam_that_iam_ | If you could take your spouse's brain and put it in the body of any any celebrity, | you would probably get arrested for double homicide, you fucking psychopath. | 4 | 1.386294 | 5 | 2022-06-23T17:49:04 | 33 |
10x3h5v | hearsdemons | What does Leonardo DiCaprio call a 19 year old? | A long term relationship. | 13 | 2.564949 | 8 | 2023-02-08T16:21:30 | 19 |
1bnom60 | kingaling49 | I had a woman in my bed shouting my name and gasping for breath.. | so I took the pillow off her face! | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2024-03-25T20:50:13 | 25 |
1grreva | gletschafloh | Why is UDP bad? | Because you can't anTiCiPate it. | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2024-11-15T07:54:41 | 16 |
re03q0 | Remarkable-Youth-504 | Communism works! | In Soviet Russia, a citizen was standing in line to buy a car. When he finally reached the front of the line he specified the color he wanted and paid the full cost of the car.
The man at the counter took his money and asked him to come back in 5 years to pick up his car.
The citizen asked whether he needed to come in ... | 32 | 3.465736 | 5 | 2021-12-11T13:46:17 | 147 |
1ftu6b0 | EmptyMarsupial8556 | Did you hear about strongman Simpson? | Biblical fact: He slew 40,000 concubines with the arse bone of a giraffe | 1 | 0 | 8 | 2024-10-01T17:43:44 | 32 |
1fq6nfs | Aposta-fish | I once read this in a bathroom stall. | Some people come here to shit and stink others to sit and think, but you come here to play with your balls and read all the dirty poems on the walls. | 177 | 5.17615 | 109 | 2024-09-26T20:52:16 | 45 |
1frfk64 | gorwraith | If I have another daughter I'm going to name her Miranda. | Because if she is anything like her mother, anything I say can and will be used against me. | 486 | 6.186209 | 23 | 2024-09-28T14:31:31 | 34 |
v5wex1 | Intelligent-Set7258 | So i was taking a "nap" on my bed. I heard "Wake up" | and it was the an Ikea worker | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2022-06-06T06:26:39 | 25 |
1aoz2oi | mikulabc | A Search Engine Optimizer goes into a bar | And orders a beer, ale, brew, craftsmanship, bitter, heritage, flavor, lager, draft, pint, hops, malt.
| 24 | 3.178054 | 6 | 2024-02-12T12:38:24 | 38 |
11ksgp9 | OnionTuck | A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage. | Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to... | 9 | 2.197225 | 2 | 2023-03-07T07:19:49 | 126 |
swcqsr | ThatOnePogger | An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar | An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first mathematician orders a beer
The second orders half a beer
"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies
"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2
"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."
"Oh c'mon" says math... | 6,494 | 8.778634 | 368 | 2022-02-19T15:38:47 | 517 |
13ongso | AkaGurGor | The world's richest man is dying... | The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.
But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he can't take it with him. N... | 2,964 | 7.994295 | 135 | 2023-05-22T10:50:54 | 533 |
v5n9jt | BensonAxel | If you work at a hotel, and you have broken elevators, you need to get them fixed. | Otherwise, several steps will have to be taken. | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2022-06-05T21:39:13 | 31 |
1ahfclb | HeberSeeGull | What if Christ died of Covid rather than on the cross? | Bumper stickers would proclaim Wheezus Saves! | 1 | 0 | 8 | 2024-02-02T21:52:28 | 22 |
uzg6lt | YetiGuy | It has a white nut, covered by a thin red coat. Outside you have a brittle shell. | That’s peanut in a nut shell. | 4 | 1.386294 | 1 | 2022-05-28T05:00:24 | 28 |
1f57z5z | incredibleinkpen | "Man...If I was asked to describe my sex life, I'd say hard done by!" whined my brother. | "That's funny—so would I," I replied. "Hard, done, bye." | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-08-30T22:24:10 | 44 |
1dfuplg | curiousindividual1 | Why don't lobsters give to charity? | Because they're shellfish | 56 | 4.025352 | 10 | 2024-06-14T16:17:57 | 14 |
13dcq58 | RefuseAlive | A vasectomy only works if you tell your wife about it | Otherwise she keep on getting pregnant | 3,330 | 8.110728 | 319 | 2023-05-10T01:39:03 | 18 |
1hkcpvf | dhkendall | Missouri borders eight other states, tied with Tennessee with the most | Because you know what they say, Missouri loves company! | 679 | 6.520621 | 24 | 2024-12-23T01:16:59 | 24 |
vyovwj | webguy1975 | I'm like a magician | I once made a whole plate of nachos disappear! | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2022-07-14T06:16:18 | 16 |
1dedjeu | Plopshire | What do you call a Russian with Three testicles? | Whodyanickabollockoff | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2024-06-12T18:19:31 | 18 |
toyhsz | -sendnudes- | Putin's mama's so fat | only a Ukrainian tractor could pull her | 3 | 1.098612 | 1 | 2022-03-26T17:30:26 | 13 |
rdb5py | redgreenandblue | Frankestain enters into a body building competition... | and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective. | 129 | 4.859812 | 14 | 2021-12-10T15:31:16 | 19 |
1bvdtrs | eddible-choclate | An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. | He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and so me apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a f... | 808 | 6.694562 | 28 | 2024-04-04T04:03:50 | 221 |
11j8ftp | SilentJoe27 | A neo-nazi walks into a bar… | How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar while lying on the ground is a mystery, but that’s what the eyewitnesses are saying. | 972 | 6.879356 | 91 | 2023-03-05T19:15:44 | 40 |
1hh3ktg | Civil-Insurance8668 | Drinking beer | It has saved many a young man from sports | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-12-18T15:08:30 | 12 |
s4v6hi | ApricotSass | There’s supposed to be a winter storm this weekend … | I’d take that news with some salt | 2 | 0.693147 | 0 | 2022-01-15T21:47:05 | 19 |
w67mr4 | tads73 | I'm not saying my local Walmart is bad. | I'm just saying it has a police precinct. | 8 | 2.079442 | 3 | 2022-07-23T16:12:04 | 20 |
15sl13r | OskarTheRed | Joke from 1907: "This wireless telegraphy reminds me of a groundless quarrel" | "What possible connection is there between the two?"
"It's practically having words over nothing!"
(Stolen from the latest Vsauce short on YouTube) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-08-16T09:33:17 | 55 |
1g3xvqb | mordecai98 | Food is so expensive these days. | You try and find ways o save money like eating roadkill, but then you get all the judgement like people saying, “it’s so unhygienic”, and “ew, stop that you cannibal”. | 18 | 2.890372 | 4 | 2024-10-15T02:48:47 | 50 |
1abjigi | dirtybird971 | I understand that some people don't like when I poke fun at God | I understand that some people don't like when I poke fun at God or religion
but, it's always been a blasphemy! | 129 | 4.859812 | 20 | 2024-01-26T14:24:56 | 41 |
x8wiom | Severe_Heart9702 | Two friends meet for a night out.. | After they check their finances they realize that they have only 3$ left. Moe tells Joe „no worries, I have an idea but you have to trust me“. Joe agrees and follows Moe to a butcher shop where he bought a big sausage. He puts the sausage into his pants.
„Now let’s go to the bar“ Moe says and off they went. After the ... | 4 | 1.386294 | 0 | 2022-09-08T10:10:36 | 230 |
167ytu9 | KasreynGyre | Two drunk guys are standing atop a tall building | While opening another beer, one guy says "It's crazy how windy it is up here!"
The other answers in slurred speach "Yeah, it's because of all the tall buildings here in the city center. This building is actually a special spot. There are such strong crosswinds here that you can actually jump off this ledge and the wi... | 976 | 6.883463 | 27 | 2023-09-02T10:17:56 | 494 |
15kpxyd | JimsVanLife | What's the first way to know when you're growing old? | It's your birthday and the only ones who wish you happy birthday are your doctors.
(Not so much a joke. It's my birthday and guess who wished me happy birthday so far.) | 1 | 0 | 116 | 2023-08-07T16:43:05 | 51 |
1ayoso1 | berkleysquare | A friend was bragging to me that he was having sex with a girl and also her twin.I asked....How can you tell them apart? | He replied...her brother has a moustache! | 1,144 | 7.042286 | 56 | 2024-02-24T07:33:53 | 40 |
179zh55 | caterwail | the snail tells his wife he's going to the shops like she asked | She waits for two whole days and he's still not back with her groceries. She hears a noise at the door and angrily opens it and there he is casually adjusting his hat. "Where the hell have you been?" she demands.
To which he replies "well if you're going to shout at me like that I won't bloody go." | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2023-10-17T14:20:32 | 84 |
tya79m | 808gecko808 | I asked my son, "If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye?!" Exasperated, he replied, "I don't know, what?" | "Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!" | 71 | 4.26268 | 9 | 2022-04-07T10:38:38 | 51 |
vb1nkj | moirabelle | The Most Dad Joke of Puns! | All the best Puns are written down on paper. That way, they're truly tear-able.
Also it's my cake day! | 428 | 6.059123 | 40 | 2022-06-13T02:24:16 | 37 |
r7btmk | Boomah422 | Adolph Hitler had a stamp on his desk | It was solely used to RSVP for meetings. The picture resembled a dolphin breaching water. Historians now believe the message was to mean Adolph in. | 7 | 1.94591 | 1 | 2021-12-02T16:57:53 | 40 |
1439qao | Wildlifewolf | Blueberry Hill | One day a boy walked in the classroom. The teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The next boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The last boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He said he was on top of Blu... | 4 | 1.386294 | 1 | 2023-06-07T10:43:19 | 126 |
1eujven | Allenc38 | no matter how many times you turn around | your ass is always behind you | 13 | 2.564949 | 8 | 2024-08-17T15:06:29 | 14 |
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